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The second season, once again, get the all new two bears big boy pretty much met the dotcom slash Thompson as one dubious one. He sure does need his books.

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Yeah, I didn't know this and I spit it out. Here's the deal. I'll eat all of them, but I'm not one that I won't eat shot. I definitely like the ones where you do it and it unwraps from the inside of your nose like.

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Wouldn't it be a crazy way to get coronavirus? I was eating burgers. Oh, God. 100 percent.

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On this episode of Tuba's, one carb is brought to you by policy genius. Do you own a home? Do you own a car? Or are you a modern, smart person that doesn't want to not protect yourself? Good. Then had the policy genius that come so you can protect your what? Your assets. I think that's a good way of describing it. If you go to policy genius dotcom, you'll realize you'll find out that they save their home and auto customers.

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This episode of Tuberose One Game is brought to you by Buffalo Trace. This is damn good whiskey. The distillery was just named Twenty Twenty Distillery of the Year. San Francisco's World Spirits Competition has some of the best whiskey tasters in America, judging hundreds of whiskey and Buffalo Trace one the most. It was two decades ago when Buffalo Trace won the same title from Whiskey Advocate magazine. Since then, they have won more awards than any other distillery in the world.

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Just Google Buffalo Trace and see for yourself. They've been distilling whiskey since 1773, ever since an early American pioneers followed the buffalo herds to the Kentucky River. They even operated during Prohibition with a permit to make whiskey for medicinal purposes, which is interesting because they're kind of doing the same thing now. This pandemic won't slow them down. They're making more whiskey every day. And hand sanitizer to the government designated bourbon as an essential during this time. And I agree.

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Their motto is stand strong and they won't compromise. And I respect that. No wonder they won all the awards.

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I might have some Buffalo Trace tonight, distilled aged and bottled by Buffalo Trace Distillery. Ninety proof Franklin County, Kentucky, Buffalo Trace, American family owned and independent is represented. Hold on on hold.

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The mission was to fuck every breed of dog in America. Is the mission accomplished?

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Oh my God. You know it's crazy. What is our. We think, you know, we've got a new puppy. Yeah.

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And we think it might have gotten Izzy pregnant, our other dogs in heat and now her nipples look weird. And I was like, and people are like, you know, you can't think a pup. That's what everyone's like. A puppy can't get someone pregnant if our dog is pregnant and a puppy couldn't have done it. I'm in a lot of trouble. Yeah.

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You know how much fun it was. Contestants on this day, on this on this show I'm doing get up and go. They get up on stage and they'd be like, so Villon it from is going to be a trick shot crossbow artist or whatever. And he'd come up on stage and we'd be like, so tell us, what about your act? And the first thing they'd say with so many fans of the show on this game show, they go, Well, Snoop, I'd be really careful around Burton or they get up and they go, well, you really do smell like shit.

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And and and by the way, Rosario Dawson, Cody, but Snoop Jennifer Nettles were like, I don't get it. And I was like, I have a different life.

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I mean, it was so I saw you post the video was new when people were writing, like Wadsley finds out what Bird does. The dogs. Thank God that's the inside joke these days. Right, guys?

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How hot is Rosario Dawson?

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Rosario Dawson is disarmingly attractive. Meaning like I wonder when that's going to be. The next privilege they want to take away is like people that are beautiful.

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She is so striking. And she by the way, she is the coolest person I've ever been around. Very regular, very like I met Cory Booker, by the way.

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So that's what she's dating. Yeah. Are they married? I was like, I've met him and he was no, they're just dating her, but they've been together for a while.

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They've been together for a while. He he's Eric Andre to Cory Booker like.

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Right. Like the most absurdist willerton. Eric. Andre. Yeah. Really. And then makes sense. And then a presidential candidate.

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No, he was president. He ran for president. Uh, I'm sitting next to I know anything about the dude. And I was like Rosario's guy. And he's like, yeah, I said, what you do for a living? He goes, I'm a politician. I go, you make money doing that.

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And it's like, yeah, I go know like, what do you do in politics? And he's and he's looking at me like he's like, I'm a senator. Yeah.

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I said for like a big state and he goes, Jersey. New Jersey. Yeah. I said, cool. I said, would you want to be president one day?

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And he goes, I tried what you ran for president. I was like, Here's Rosario, who's this guy?

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I go, and you want to be president news. I wouldn't have run for president if I didn't want to do it. All right. I was like, Oh, good to meet you. And it was like, who the fuck like?

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But I just I don't know anybody that before Senator, wasn't he a governor also? Maybe he's a governor. I don't know what he does.

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No, he's a senator now. Right. Or as I'm doing it.

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And he is a very sweet dude.

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Like, I would definitely not, I probably should stay away from politics, I met the guy for fucking five minutes who was mayor before sorry, he was the mayor of Newark and now he's the new senator.

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I tell you from the little bit I met of him, yeah, I would vote for him.

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I got my vote.

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I bet every politician would just love to know be the worst would be like for politicians to sit with you and try to convince you. And you'd be like, I just like them all.

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I want them all to be president. Yeah. Cory Booker is he was a nice guy. He's a vegan. He's a vegan. Yeah. I think he's a vegan and like like he's like pretty. I don't know if he meant I don't know if he, like, hung out with Snoop at all, but he was he was on set. He was cool. Yeah.

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I mean yeah I it's funny because I told you this is like I was obsessed with Snoop Dogg but when I was younger. Yeah. And all I mean Snoop's one of the most interesting people in hip hop because of his longevity and the fact it's crazy what's coming up on what.

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Thirty, almost thirty years. Thirty years. I was eighteen. I'm still being like, cool.

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Everybody thinks you make awesome. I mean, he's got a crazy catalog hits.

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I mean, dope man. Did you see the DMX versus versus. Yeah. Versus it was great. It was fucking amazing.

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Yeah. And they were like very. You know, the love, like it was cool to see them together, like they were cool with each other in a really, really, like, fun way of, like, help, like helping out with songs.

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Oh, did you hear DMX? I'm not taking my shirt off at all.

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He's like, look like the number 10. And he would get out of breath more. Yeah. And kind of stumble and like Snoop would help out and they would just complement each other.

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It was just it was, it was a great and I got to hang out with him and talk about the verses. But it is. Hopefully he'll never see this because I want to hang out with him again, but I. But have you ever been have you ever found something online and you like I'm going to spend the rest of my night just researching this, like, whether it's like vintage cars and you're, like, aping porn.

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Yeah, gaping porn. Yeah.

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He had all the information I wanted to know about the thing I'm passionate about in his head. Yes. Like everything about hip hop.

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I mean I like I did it was like it was almost like being in a like when you see like Jafa or one of those in the movie, you go into the cave filled with gold and they don't know how to get enough in their pockets.

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Right.

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Because, I mean, you talk to you about Tupac, talk to him about Dre, talk to you about what did he tell you about any of those things or he like I remember I said something about cash money in the Rough Riders went on tour and he was like, oh, yeah, yeah.

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And he just he knew everything about it, like it's his business. So it's like, imagine if you're obsessed with comedy and you get to fucking I couldn't get enough information out of him and like it would be overwhelming. He knew I was really into it.

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So he gave me like a pinkie ring. And it's and that's this is where he's the most generous dude in the world. Like like first day we show up, we have huge Snoop Dogg boomboxes in our trailers, like the really fucking nice. They're like it's like a brand. But I wish you would have been like, hey man.

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Like are you a rapper? Like treated him like Corey. What you musician.

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What time. My favorite, when you tell a joke and no one gets it, you're the only one but one other person gets sitting there like that was hilarious. So I go. So we're talking in this kid is from Long Beach and I go into Long Beach. You're from Long Beach. And he goes, Yeah, it's like I'm from Long Beach. And we're like, yeah, we know. And he's like and the kid goes, I want some high school.

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You did. And seems like Polytech. And he goes, Yeah. And I went, Oh, shut up.

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I guess, where did you go to college? And he goes, I didn't go to college. And I was like, no shit. We're all familiar with your story. I didn't say that. But everyone everyone's like, you thought you went to college. And I'm like, I can't believe everyone doesn't get this joke. Yeah. And I hear in my head that good one.

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Where does he go to college?

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He was he was so fucking generous that like he gave me to pinkie rings, gave me. I know. Like you say something and then he'd just give you like. Yeah. And then like weed he would have these blunts and he would be like. These are for you, cousin, and you'd be like tanks and then and then I didn't know and they're not for regular people to smoke. They're a little stronger. It's not it's not marijuana. It's more like fentanyl.

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It's like it's it's they don't even taste real, like they taste like diabetes because they're like these are sweet. Oh, there's a big glass cork on the end of it.

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And so you can't even hit it like a joint. You know, you hit the joint, you get to pull from it. Yeah.

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You got to suck it like you're like how high did you get because you were texting me some wild shit. I was like, what the fuck? And you're like, I just smoke. What's new sports? It was the biggest mistake I ever made.

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I get back to my room and I'm having I had some someone, so I didn't drink for like 15, 17 days on when we started this project.

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So I wanted to lose weight. I wanted to, like, not look bloated. And I was and coronavirus fucking scares me. And so and then I'm on a great fucking trajectory. I'm doing perfect. I mean, I'm getting done.

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I don't have the want to drink. Yeah. And I'm getting all set and everyone's like, all right, have a great night. And I'm like, I'm going to my room, I'm going to bed and I'm sleeping good. Getting like great. Oh my oh my. Woop great scores on my woop.

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And then one night we're not even done, we're just in the middle of things but it's like seven o'clock and Snoop yells over, Hey Burt, come on my come to my trailer and take a shower.

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And I'm like, oh I'm like what's that?

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And he's like, come on over, take a shower. And I was like, OK. And I just walk in. I was like, you can take a shower.

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And he's like, What he going to say? You want to take a shower? He goes, So let's take a shot. And I went, Oh. And he goes, You came over here thinking, we want I you to shower Mike Foop.

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I desert shower. And I was like, yeah of course, yes of course you it. And he told you to get in the shower.

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You'd be like, OK, shower. I want I just got. What are you here people like turned around to fucking take your clothes off at it, I thought you said you got to throw up here. He could step down and come in and be like, why are you in my shop? I think, like you said, to get in the shower. Why do I shower? Oh. Oh, Jesus. What a fucking Beda I am is that I was like, oh.

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And then.

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And then he goes and that dude popped. But when I get a little bit like, what the fuck are you to do? You wanted a shower. So sorry.

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Oh, oh, oh. So we didn't shower, we did we did shots, how is that we it was was interesting because like he does, he's not a big drinker at all.

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He's he. And by the way, it's like and then I get to ask him, like, why don't you drink? And he tells me the story of this time that he was out of control, drunk, and then he didn't want to be that guy.

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And he's the whole time he's smoking a blunt. Yeah. This whole time he's smoking a blunt. He's offering it to me but not offering it to me. I shouldn't say that he did not offer it to me because at all he's giving me blunts if I want them. Yeah. And so I'm like, well I can't really smoke right now because I, we still have a lot of work to do and and that was a good call. There's a good call.

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Yeah. But it gives me two blunts there.

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His, his, his brand. Oh the story is really good. I totally forgot.

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And by the way, he's going to get a little Gosbee. I apologize. Ha. It's, it's really good. It's really fucking good.

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OK. Oh OK.

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So we do a couple of shots. He's not a big drinker so like he pours a shot and he's like, God, this is going to be a big one.

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And I'm like and he goes to set like faded everything. Right. Yeah.

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I mean I hope he's comfortable with this, but you can tell it was interesting. I personally don't believe and I know he was smoking pot, but I don't believe he was superhigh the first like week. And then at one point I was like, you could tell he's really high.

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Like, he's just you can see he's just he's very high. Like, you can just tell at sometimes. But then but he does the work. He's there, he's doing the work. But you can definitely get the vibe. All right. Snoop's baked today.

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And so he gives me a bunch to do a couple of shots. And then we go back to set and we do the rest of the night and we get done. And then he's in party mode a little bit and he's having a good time. He really enjoyed the show. He's a fun fucking guy. He enjoys life like he is, just like being you. He is about having a good time.

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So but he's also very, like, very reserved, like he's not a big go to the bar, hang out with people, I think because so many people take from him, you know, like they go, oh, it's Snoop. And then he's like, I don't he's very private like that.

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I think he's just he's been famous for long. So we had done. I was like him in Cody Rhodes, who's like a fucking my favorite dude in the world. I got to well, I got to face time with all these guys. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Face time with.

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And I brought up my wrestling and he goes, come on, man.

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You know, his nickname is The American Nightmare. No. And he goes, and I did the I did the promo for TBS. Ladies and gentlemen, the American Nightmare, Cody Rhodes. And he was like and he came up to me the day after it aired goes, you know, you're saying that. All right. And I was like, I think you're saying it wrong.

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So we get so we get done tonight. And then Cody's like, hey, you want to have a cigar? And Cody's not a big drinker either, but cigar, maybe a glass bottle of wine. Stuart's got his own wines like Snoop Johnny Wine. He's like, fuck. Yeah. So we go into Cody's trailer and and stoops like seems like he's like, man, you know, I really love your boy Joe Rogan.

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And I was like I was like, let's fucking FaceTime him, you know, Joe, Joe, Joe, someone you don't necessarily face time all the time. Yeah. Like you text them and then you get back and forth. If you want to talk, you call him. But if face time is an aggressive move with Joe sometimes. So I face time Joe and I'm like, just please pick up. I'm going like this. It's Snoop. He did it.

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So first time, Joe, he doesn't answer. Then he faced times back and I miss it. And then I'm like, fuck. And I get on my phone and I see I got a text from dunno Rollins. I'm like, Snoop, you know what you got to do?

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You got to go out to Chappelle's place. He's like, what?

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I was like, Chappelle's got a summer camp where they're all out there all summer. They're having a fucking blast doing shows. We talk about this guy. Tobey Maguire is this rapper. I really like her and I like. And so then I'm not I know I'm not saying it right.

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That's fine. And so I go, oh, see if I can find the picture. So I go, let's call Donelle and see if we can get Donelle on the phone at Betties with Chappelle. So he's like, all right. So we call Darnell. And Donelle answers, and I'm like, John, he's like, What are you doing? I said, Take a look at this. And I flip the phone over and it's Snoop. And I was like, oh, shit.

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He's like, You're with Snoop. And I go, Yeah. And he goes, I've got to find the picture of the picture's great. He goes, Oh, shit, hold on, fam.

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You know, there's, you know, Donald just fucking yeah. And he goes yo Chappelle and flips it around the Chappelle's like, oh shit. And so then I get the phone back to me.

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Chappelle gets on the phone and he looks at me and he's like, who the fuck are you?

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And I'm like, Oh, I think I know what you want.

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Hold on. And I flip the phone around a snoop and Chappelle loses his fucking mind. He's like, fucking Snoop. Tom, I'm in the background. If you go to Donnell's, if you go to Donnell's Instagram page, you'll see the picture. You'll see the picture doornails. Instagram page. Tom, I am such a fucking pussy.

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I'm in the background of this. Yeah, just put because Don and Darnell is doing the same thing. Darnell's the black version of White Me is we are both keeps growing and keeps growing and keeps growing. You'll see a picture. It's a face time screensaver. Duno uses his feed like stories sometimes.

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So it's a lot of fucking Jesus. Yeah. Donau posts and aggressively. There we go. See Snoop. Look at who the white guy in the background is met the woman snooping at the woman snooping it up up.

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There you go. That one. Look at me in the background.

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I got Zippel and I know and I'm going and they're inviting Snoop to come out and all I'm doing the whole time is going.

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And you can bring a friend, right? He can bring a friend or to snoop, like I'll bring you. Sure. But yeah, that was they chatted up for a while, chatted up on my phone and my battery was about to die.

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So I'm panicking that my battery's going to die. And then but yeah, it was, it was fucking awesome.

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And he was like, he's the sweetest guy in the world.

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And I fucking I I've opened for Chapell, like I think three times. And when I saw him at the store, it's like, hey man, great speech. He goes, nice to meet you man.

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I was like I was like, oh but for you like three times bro.

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He was like, hey, I heard about you. I was like Yeah. On your shows. Yeah. Yeah. That's where you heard about it.

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He, he didn't, he definitely did not know who I was. That's hilarious because you've known him a long time who felt.

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Yeah, no I met him once. I thought in New York you got you know, I met, I met him a few times there but that's what I'm saying. Genuinely met him. I mean, yeah. I don't know. I'm sure he just meets so many fucking people.

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He just goes another white dude fat with a beard. He's like, we should just get one name so that people remember us.

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And so so then Snoop gives me some. We get done that now. We party until like 2:00 in the morning, gives me a couple joints. I'm like, oh, cool. So the next night now now I've been drinking, now I'm drinking.

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So I'm like slow walking by his trailer, like, do you want a shower or something.

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And so I go in, I go that night and I go back to my room and I'm like, you know, I'm going to do I'm going to smoke a little bit.

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Snoop's joint, like the one he gave me. But he smells so good because they're wrapped in, like, Candy Blunt. Yeah, yeah. And they smell amazing. And so and it's an indica. And I was like, and this will put me to sleep.

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So I light it and I hit the first hit and I'm and I inhale way more because of the way it's made with a glass tip. I inhale way more than I plan on inhaling and I'm coughing like I'm coughing like I'm at ground zero, like just pulling debris out of my mouth.

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Oh yeah. And I am like, oh my God. OK, I'll take one more hit. I take another hit and I cough just as much and I'm like, OK, I'm pretty fucking high. I look at the joint, there is ninety eight percent of it left.

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It's barely smoked. Is this the time that I talk to you? I think so. I think so. And then I mean like I went into the bathroom and offered it to the guy in the mirror. Like you finish it, I can't take it.

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He was like, oh, you made a bad mistake. I got so fucking high. I took my blood pressure like I got started panicking. And then you would coronaviruses like shortness of breath lose?

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I think I don't think I can taste anything anymore. You out.

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Oh, I woke up the next day and I was people could tell I wasn't there, like they were like, are you OK? And I was like, I want to sleep last night. I can't wake up like I'm not waking up. And then I told Snoop and he's like, you him by yourself. I was like, is that not what you're supposed to do? Because I just smoked. I spent the whole thing and I just kept I kept puffing on it and letting it fill the room.

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And I'm just sitting there just listening to music, listening to fucking Marvin Gaye, smoking this blunt like like one of us is going to prison and I'm just and I'm fucking and I was out of it for like a day. And then I got into it and then I started liking Snoop's joints. Yeah. And then I was like, yeah, because I just looked at it like a cigar. I was like, I am going to enjoy it.

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I'm going there free. He gave me like two different times. One was kind of like, is the Louie the 15th, Louie the thirteenth. It's a really good joint.

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The Snoop ones are torpedos. They are like this and they literally get like this big at the end. And they're and it's his face on the on the thing. Those ones are way too much like you want to, Cody and Cody was like, Yeah, oh, I probably shouldn't say that, but yeah, yeah. And he said it was pretty strong. Now he's like, I didn't inhale. He made the same mistake I did.

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But yeah, it was it was a fun it was a fun trip. It was crazy because how many episodes.

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Ten. And this is like a a competition show.

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Competition show. It's like America's Got Talent. But where people's lives are on the line. Yeah, it really good. It's it turned out really great. I saw some amazing fucking acts. And what's crazy is, is OK, go ahead, go ahead.

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Know who is the the other woman. Judge Jennifer Nettles. Who is that. Sugarland. She is fucking awesome bro.

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Awesome. Awesome. I got to be honest with you.

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Like she reminds me a little bit of LeAnn because she's from Coffee County, Georgia, and she's got to be a singer, actress, singer, an amazing fucking voice. OK, amazing voice.

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I want to thank our sponsor, Wub. We are both hardcore fans of this thing. Literally never comes off my arm 24/7.

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It's amazing, right? I see you have yours on.

[00:23:25]

It's like it's like everybody wants to live a healthier lifestyle and all the help you can get is is gladly taken.

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For me, it's just a thing where basically I wake up, I check how I slept, I look at the disturbances, I look at the time that I spent in different categories of sleep.

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And I love the insight that I get into, like how different things can affect me, whether it's caffeine, booze, marijuana that I exercise.

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How long did I picture how intensely and how that affects my recovery, my sleep.

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The same coach coaches the best asset. You type in the screen, coach, and I'll tell you how hard you should work out based on your sleep. And that for us, staying at home and working out our treadmills by ourselves is the best feature in the world.

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There you see the episode with Liano and I. Oh yeah. You like it. Kinda fucking fucking.

[00:25:39]

I didn't know if if I, I honestly thought to myself at one point and I wonder if this was on a joint night, but I'm listening in bed and I can't go to sleep and I was like with two pairs, one cave a mistake.

[00:25:56]

Like was I too honest. Like if I am I really like if I it was really I just pulled the fucking curtain back and then Liane's like, oh yeah. Like and then sometimes I hear the way I talk about things and I go, who the fuck am I like, oh my God, she got it.

[00:26:10]

She can get it. She got it. And then and then I'm like I gave her an orgasm one times like fuck.

[00:26:17]

And then I hear her hear that. I'm like, oh my God.

[00:26:19]

But she's also like like you realize that she was unfeasible every single clip. She was like, what is this? The one where I can get it and got me.

[00:26:27]

Yeah. Well, yeah, let me guess. I'm old. Yeah.

[00:26:31]

So I mean she just rolled with everything, everything she knew we played, she was like I lost that whole episode and I was like the only things he sure does is bugs.

[00:26:40]

Yeah. Yeah. I did that the other day and I woke up this and I spit it out.

[00:26:44]

I'm going to fuck you puke. I know. Here's the deal. I, I'll eat all of them but I don't want that. I won't eat shit. I definitely like the ones where you do it and it unwraps from the inside of your nose like.

[00:26:59]

Wouldn't it be a crazy way to get coronavirus? I was eating burgers. Oh God. But yeah, it was the only thing. The thing I like is and then I was like because I was listening to it, I was like, fuck. I was like, I think I've shared too much on this show.

[00:27:12]

I should know. And then I kept going, you know, people really liked my episode. You know, they say Tom finally got to talk.

[00:27:19]

And I was like, OK, she's sick.

[00:27:22]

People love with me and Tom run because he can finally talk. And I'm like, oh, all right. She's like, you don't let him talk. I'm like, you're also on the fucking show.

[00:27:30]

I was like, put on fuck off I. What do you think you should to be talking about?

[00:27:34]

If I don't act like an asshole for twenty seven episodes, she was like I got the, the funniest shit about that episode was like, oh so that's what Tom's voice sounds like.

[00:27:47]

I definitely was like, I was like I'd heard you more in that. We should tell them what's up. There's going to be a very special event to Bears on Cave Live October 15th.

[00:28:02]

But here's the thing. There's going to be some real extra goodies in this special event. One of them is that we are going to fucking really party Snoop and Bert style.

[00:28:14]

We're going to really, really party. And by the way, I asked Snoop if we could get cocaine. Yeah. And he said he could get us cocaine. That is great news.

[00:28:21]

And I'm not certain he wanted that information there. So here's the thing.

[00:28:29]

It is going there's there's a bunch of goodies planned for this show, one of which or maybe most importantly, the party that we're going to have.

[00:28:38]

And you could party with us, of course, but we're going to drink 10 milligrams time is going to become 20 milligram time and then 30 milligram time. And then maybe more. Maybe more.

[00:28:53]

I think we should and by the way, we don't have everything worked out yet because we're still pitching ideas, one of them is we get our favorite porn star right to go under the table and suck one of our dicks and our wives never know who we're going to watch porn live.

[00:29:12]

And by the way, shout out if any of our porn star favorites want to possibly. I don't know.

[00:29:19]

I think that would be C I pitch things sometimes. And I was like like we pitched the idea of directing porn and my agents were like, you're definitely not doing that now that you're not allowed to porn. I think that's a big mistake. By the way, I'm sure TBS is like, you know, a lot of sports are suck your dick on camera now.

[00:29:36]

But what we could do is I think we should have one of your favor, because you've been really vocal about like who you really get, you know, support and who you feel we should have.

[00:29:44]

What like what would you do? Like just have a sit on your lap for the episode?

[00:29:48]

No, no, no. Because I strip for you. No, no, no. Bend over. And and. No, no, I don't know what it is.

[00:29:55]

We should have we should have our wives here. We should invite our wives to this whole thing.

[00:30:01]

Yeah. They should come in like an hour, an hour in and when we're fucking wasted. Yeah.

[00:30:09]

So we haven't worked out all the kinks, OK, but but because there are some ideas that we want to do that we can't do, and so we're batting them back around, but it's going to be fucking amazing.

[00:30:18]

It's going to be a lot of fun. It's going to be different than a tuberose one kaibab sober. I just talk over time the whole time. That's right.

[00:30:23]

We have we have some we do have a couple of things worked out that are fun. You'll see it in the some of the promos. But go to IMH virtual dotcom for tickets. The show is October 15th.

[00:30:34]

That is a Thursday. And we will see the link is in the description. We will it will be multiple hours long and I think we might pass out during the show, but it'll be fun.

[00:30:47]

We'll have a fucking blast. Yeah, I can't fucking wait. OK, so do you want to hear that?

[00:30:53]

You know, you had the idea that you want a somebody to have your back when you fuck up. Yeah.

[00:30:58]

So. Oh yeah. A. Oh my God. So I've been wanting to do this show for so long. There's so much shit. You know, what I miss is we never got our detective. Do we get a detective BRP Yeah.

[00:31:09]

No, we have a couple that wrote in. One of them was like, I'm not a P.I., but I think I can do it pass.

[00:31:16]

OK, we're looking we have so much stuff to catch up on. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:31:20]

So as far as I know, native, this is people, they're like I could be the voice, right. I could be the. Yeah.

[00:31:29]

So we have like four or five options for each of you guys.

[00:31:32]

OK, why don't we go start with Berts. These are British guys who like when Bert steps over the line and people are like, hey man, what the fuck? He kind of defends Bert, right? Is it Liam, Liam or Lyle?

[00:31:44]

Lyle, Lyle. OK, right.

[00:31:46]

So this first submission is from Alex M in SE.

[00:31:51]

You, doctor? No, I didn't think so, why that came. Listen to the machine. I love that. Yeah, yeah. So like that's just made like a medical claim.

[00:32:03]

And someone said, I don't think that's correct, Burt. And then Lyle, just the wind your neck in.

[00:32:08]

I love you. A doctor and doctor. OK, I like that a lot.

[00:32:13]

That's a good one. He's got a couple other reads. You guys want to do a couple of Reedsburg. Sure, sure. Sure. All right.

[00:32:17]

So this next one is also from L.A. Do you know what the the subject matter of the read is like? Is that is there a theme to the read?

[00:32:25]

Um, as far as I could tell? I think it's just a couple different ones. OK, just a couple different options.

[00:32:32]

We can Berts talking. Wait, birdsong, birds talking about that'd be great for like a real intensified at home. Yeah. Oh, I got to get these on my phone.

[00:32:44]

You have a month save like birds talking.

[00:32:49]

Yeah, it's good that I know it stings like shit and he fucks dogs, but just hear him out. Give him a chance.

[00:32:55]

Big machine, by the way, you know what's so funny is that this guy so we do this unboxing on my P.O. box like we do it.

[00:33:06]

I did it yesterday. I do it once a week. But we were backed up with a great way of like someone has something cool, you can help promote their product.

[00:33:13]

Yes, we do a similar thing where it's like the same thing to our mailbox and then you open and you react genuinely. This is also my favorite thing to get actually artwork like cool or like, go ahead, go and look for work. I love hats. That's where I get all my hats from.

[00:33:26]

The world knows you're definitely a hat fan words. What kind of hat is that? I have no fucking clue. That's the best.

[00:33:31]

And so I get this letter yesterday from this guy he makes.

[00:33:39]

Put like it's I don't really understand the thing, he makes it out of his kitchen, but it's stuff you sprinkle into the into the toilet and then when you shit, it covers the smell.

[00:33:49]

Yeah. Yeah. So there's a couple of big brands that do that. So he goes, yes.

[00:33:52]

He goes, Hey man, I'd love a little help.

[00:33:55]

And Leon's reading it out loud to me, you fucking piece of shit cocksucker fat fuck. And he's like, I know you take these horrendous shit because you smell like fucking garbage and every party and it's just destroying me. And then he's like and then at the end he goes and he goes, yeah, he goes, help me out. I make this shit out of my fucking kitchen, man. I could use some fucking help. You know what, fuck you.

[00:34:18]

You're a piece of shit. Give it to Tom and then and Liane's like, what the fuck. And I go, I think he's a fan. Yeah.

[00:34:24]

I was like, no, I actually I also get messages like that and I'm like like when they insult, like they'll be like, Hey fuckhead, why don't you do this or that on your podcast.

[00:34:35]

And you're like, yeah, I don't really want to engage you man.

[00:34:37]

Yeah, it's, it's, it's an interesting approach is to be like it's cool.

[00:34:43]

Like when it's funny. Yeah.

[00:34:45]

Some people do not get comedy, they don't know how to do it. They just go like, well I'll just insult. And that's, that's the funny part.

[00:34:51]

Like that's not the funny, it's the same guy is like I watch a documentary on on Metta World Peace. Yeah. There was a documentary on him. I did not know that Metta World Peace is also the guy is also what's his real name, Ron Artest. I didn't know Ron Artest.

[00:35:06]

Metta World Peace for the same person. Yeah, I did. I thought Metta World Peace was someone else that play for the Lakers, OK? And Ron Artest was the guy that got into the fight at when he was at the in Detroit. Yeah, but it was interesting. And then I saw that the same person, I was like, oh, what's interesting is the way the guy that threw the beer that landed on him. Yeah.

[00:35:25]

The way he looked at it, like the way he just was like, yeah, you know, fuck it. Like, fuck him. And you're just like, hey man. Like you can't throw beers like yeah. He just was like he was like, you know, I'm sitting there and I'm like, fuck it. I wonder if I can get my beer. Like it was really. And I understand that they talk about the it.

[00:35:46]

But wait, so the guy who threw it is in the dock. Yeah.

[00:35:49]

And he's like really arrogant about it. And he was like, you know, I was with my friends. The guy rubbed me wrong because he was like he was like, you know, some of my employees wanted to see what it was like to have my seats. So I switched with them and then I went up where they were and, you know, and then I'm having a few beers. He's an alcoholic, so aggressive, alcoholic, drug addict, I think.

[00:36:10]

Yeah, I think he's he's now since been sober, but he's like and I'm taking a sip of beer and I don't fuck him. Then, my friend, I go, I wonder if I can hit him and I just fucking hit him, can you believe it?

[00:36:19]

And I was like, and that's how he talks about it now, now and now, him and Ron Artest have made up Ron Artest, took him out to dinner. Ron Artest has dealt with a lot of bipolar issues. Yeah, really interesting documentary that that and I have to point this out. I'm almost certain Ron Artest made the way it is shaded is every athlete's going to have their last dance. Yeah. Where it's like, hey, I'm Ron Artest.

[00:36:44]

I have had massive anger issues my entire life. I am known to be a problem. But let me tell you my side of the story. Yeah.

[00:36:52]

So which is fire is the stock where I it on Showtime. Showtime.

[00:36:55]

OK, and so but the way the guy said it and then I thought that is the guys we deal with in comedy where it's like if they, if, if they're Fania's, they don't know that there is a art to making fun of someone. Right. As opposed to like, hey, fuck you you fat fuck in.

[00:37:11]

You're like, no, I kind of hertzman like, yeah, there's a way to do that.

[00:37:15]

That's not that they sometimes I remember meet and greets were like that where people would be like, hey, fat fucking piece of shit. How about a photo you like. How about you fucking get out of here.

[00:37:25]

Yeah. How about yeah. I love this one for me. I always get. All right, let's do a photo bird. I know you love it. And I was like I don't not do I don't you know. Yeah. And by the way, it's so weird now to like. To do photos now, because people get fucking this guy came up the other day, I'm on a stage and he's like a get down inside my son's shirt.

[00:37:49]

He's a fan. And I was like, first of all, I'm not allowed to touch you at all. Like, I'm going to be socially distant because second of all, that's definitely not the way to go about it.

[00:37:58]

Yeah, it's amazing that they get down here, get down here and sign.

[00:38:02]

And you're like, but it's I think and this is what this all gets in my head when I'm laying in bed, I go, I've created this approachability.

[00:38:10]

Yeah. Where people feel like like that.

[00:38:13]

Like not only did they grow up with me. Yeah. But they know so much about me that they're like a those need it. Why don't you have that fucking you like. I wish I enjoyed everything.

[00:38:26]

But but like, you know, my favorite thing to do is when someone's like, Hey, Tom, Tom, and they're like a restaurant or something or walking through area, just keep ignoring when they like Tom a cigarette and they're like, right there, I'll be like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:38:40]

And then I'll be like, just keep walking, OK? And then we'll just walk and I hear them like, keep going over.

[00:38:44]

I'm like just pretend you don't hear it and you just hear them over and over Hamit and then they'll come up, hey, you didn't hear me. I'm like, oh no, I didn't hear you. What's up?

[00:38:52]

I'm like, I was calling you from over there. I'm like, oh, like a dog.

[00:38:55]

OK, I did. I did something that was shitty to someone I worked with this recently is they wanted me to go do something by like nine different things.

[00:39:05]

This is why I the Ellen thing, you know, Ellen gave you see Ellen speech today.

[00:39:09]

No. Oh, was it like Ellen's back, baby? She's back. She came on her show and was like, just so you know, I, I branded myself as the kind person.

[00:39:23]

And she goes, I wish I hadn't because yes, sometimes I'm not kind. Sometimes I'm just a regular person, sometimes in a bad mood. Sometimes I'm depressed. Sometimes I'm upset. Sometimes I'm not.

[00:39:32]

And she was like it was a really interesting her. I liked her statement. But again, I like Ellen.

[00:39:37]

But when you're around someone like that, like Snoop, the amount of energy people take from that.

[00:39:44]

Yes. Being yeah. It's a lot.

[00:39:45]

You realize they have to throw up walls or they will be empty at the end of the day. I think you're right, cause I took any time Snoop offered any anything I took I was like I was talking to him.

[00:39:57]

I was interacting with him and and everyone wanted to talk to him. Yeah. Everyone wanted their minute. Yeah.

[00:40:03]

And so you look at that and you're like, I don't know how like personally I wouldn't be able to to, you know, navigate that really well if I if I was in their position like I was level of Snoop or Ellen, I would I would just be like, just walk me to the set.

[00:40:21]

And then somebody like, put up a wall of physical wall that I could walk. I couldn't do it.

[00:40:26]

Yeah, I think it's it's incredibly draining.

[00:40:29]

I saw that with, um, with Wahlberg, you know, we shot that movie.

[00:40:33]

Yeah. I mean, people would wait, we'd sit in a park and people found out and then there'd be people just waiting to see him. And then anybody that had the chance to have interaction, they start going they start going like, you know, my favorite movie is that you've done and then start telling them all, like as if he hasn't heard. And he has to be like, OK, awesome. Yeah. Thanks, I appreciate. Yeah, I remember that.

[00:40:53]

And then the next person is like, you know, my favorite movie was and then this is what I loved about that. Also I heard you. I know that you're a big Celltex. Did you go to the. And they just everybody wants to tell you there's no sense when you hear about like reclusive stars.

[00:41:04]

Yeah.

[00:41:05]

Who don't want to be don't want to deal with anything because it's not like and Joe gets that a lot o you know, forget I couldn't. Yeah.

[00:41:13]

That, that his podcast got so massive, was so influential you know, and we actually saw it go into that like leave the stratosphere.

[00:41:22]

But like I've been around him since it's been super popular and seen how people react and they react like that.

[00:41:28]

They're like, hey man, you had that physicist on, you know, the one thing. And they start telling like they're point counterpoint. And I also have some things I wrote I'd love you to review. And I if I could ever come on, I'd love to talk to you about this topic. And then the next person is like, how about this? But who do you think's going to win the fight? And it's just one person after another.

[00:41:44]

It's an and he has so much he you know, he's a real I think especially now that he's moved to Texas and he's, you know, where he is and how like everything is in the news, like so weird.

[00:41:59]

It's so weird because we've like we've known him since he was a known person. Like he's been famous for the entire world, famous for probably thirty years. Right. But the there are levels and tiers to that fame and now like to open Twitter and regularly see Joe trending really well. What did he what happened. And he's like he gave an opinion on something. And you like what? That's that's trending news now.

[00:42:24]

It's so funny, too, because people you know, obviously people are massive fans of his. And I'm I'm a fan of his. I love what he does. I've always loved him. His comedy is the way he looks at media, like when he did the Joe Show with Red Band. And obviously when Joe Rogan experience is a game changer. And in fact, now I decided to do my business. I mean, I take so much advice from him, but he also he's just Joe like he's a guy like that's what's crazy is that.

[00:42:47]

Yeah.

[00:42:48]

He's the one reminding people of that. Yeah. And by the way, more people should listen to that because he is just a fucking dude. Yeah.

[00:42:55]

And so like, like people would say to me like all the time they'll be like, hey man, when Rogen does this and I can't help but think of the guy that also likes to get high and go, hey man, if you threw a fish ten feet in the air and started flying without any fish left, like the kind of guy that just thinks like a moron comic, it's so bizarre to me, you know, just Spotify deals just made it.

[00:43:21]

It's changed everything. I mean, media has changed.

[00:43:22]

They want Biden and Trump to do that together, which would be, do you know, the least qualified person to do that would be to me. Yeah. Like, can you imagine I should do that, I should do that, I know I'm throwing my hat in the ring. Let's see if this goes viral.

[00:43:42]

OK, I will host. Let me take that back. Me and Tom will host a live debate between Donald J. Trump and Joseph J. Biden.

[00:43:52]

I don't think Jane middle initial, they're all J they are for Jumper and so will host a live debate.

[00:43:59]

And it will be a warm up for the Rogen one. And we'll get in some good questions. Like what questions should be asking our presidential debate?

[00:44:06]

How many first off, how many women have you had sex with? It's really important.

[00:44:10]

I think we know the answer. For one, I think Biden would be like five.

[00:44:14]

Know how many chicks you think Joe Biden. Hold on. Let's not get disrespectful. Yeah, let's think about this, OK? Yeah. He how many times I've been married twice is married twice, first wife, he lost in a car accident with two kids. Yes. Which is which is horrific. Horrific.

[00:44:33]

But think about it. That was me. I would have to have some rebound policy. Like, I would be I would be going for a walk. OK, is this bad? Are we already doing bad stuff? Is this why we're not getting on the presidential debates? He might not like it at this point.

[00:44:44]

Now he probably won't. But what I'm saying, I think you're not going back into a relationship.

[00:44:49]

He didn't he didn't just lose. Why did he? No fucking way. I think it is who you're dealing with. Shit. And you got all these emotions. You're going to take it out on fucking strange left and right.

[00:44:59]

I think it's a pretty low number now. How many times you been married? That of Joseph Biden.

[00:45:09]

You could just type job, just type in Joe Biden. He's been married twice, father of four kids. Yeah, Joe Biden. OK, that's first question, how many women you've been with. All right, let's talk about let's let's really pitch ourselves for a presidential thing. We know that they're listening. Trump's going to play it down. Oh, my God. It's such it's such a high number. It's so crazy.

[00:45:31]

And, you know, he's going to be like he's going to be Trump's kind of guy. It's like after that, he's like, you know, it's like double that, right?

[00:45:37]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He hits you. Come on. I mean, you know, I think he's like, oh, I'll send you some digital home. Just for the record, I don't count Asians. I mean, yeah.

[00:45:47]

Ivanna his fuckin ok. OK, that's first question. How many chicks have you had sex with. OK. Oh my God. Next question. We're going to catch him off guard. Have you ever said the N-word. Yeah, right. You know, probably like quick. Yeah. Oh definitely.

[00:46:00]

I mean, well, wait. Which there's a lot of words to begin with then it's going to be Biden.

[00:46:04]

That'll be Biden. Biden will be like, you know, I mean, never.

[00:46:10]

Oh, OK. We got to flip them. So now all abortions you pay for and then we catch Trump up in seventeen.

[00:46:17]

Well, and I like to talk. You got me now.

[00:46:21]

OK, all right. What's another good question, do let's do it like a like a one that. Going to like Mexicans for them or against the pie, the go for them and Trump will go for them to then for them, but they got to do it the right way.

[00:46:44]

Have you ever committed a hate crime? Yeah, they both going to be like, wait, what's this?

[00:46:49]

What kind of debate is this episode of Two Bears has brought to you by Mugsy Jeans, the most comfortable men's jeans ever made mugs. These fabrics are so soft and flexible they feel as comfortable as sweat pants. That's what I'm talking about. That sweatpants life.

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[00:49:13]

I think it would be fun to be like. What is what's the most you ever spent on?

[00:49:24]

He I don't know, they would they would would be fun to do that, like the type of cognitive test, you know, like that thing would be like how how far gone are you guys? Like, here's here's some kind of remedial math question.

[00:49:40]

Why don't we do it with a lie detector? Like, OK, a train leaves Houston. OK, give them a riddle.

[00:49:45]

Yeah, OK, you've got a bag, a bag of seed, a pig and a boat and a rattlesnake and you got to get them across the river.

[00:49:55]

But you can only take two things at the time. How do you do it? How do you do it? And you have to do in under 30 minutes, you take the the kayak. I'm going to see if I get twenty minutes to get there and you take the pig over first. You drop them off on one side, leave the rattlesnake in the back.

[00:50:08]

They would you know what, at a certain point I think Trump would be like, I think these two guys are clowns. I'm out of here.

[00:50:13]

And he would just who do you think would like us more, Trump or Biden? Um, I think I think Biden would in a closed door circumstance where he could be the guy that he really is. Yeah, I think the guy who's pretending to be is not. I think he has that he don't take this the wrong way.

[00:50:28]

OK, I think Trump would love you. I. It'd be like this guy gets this man and I thought, this man, this guy, this guy, and you'd be like, OK, I hate to admit it, but he's the great hero.

[00:50:50]

Our Argo is awesome because we I can't believe this. Yeah, he showed me naked pictures of his daughter.

[00:51:04]

Well, I think I think Donald Trump would love me.

[00:51:09]

He would love you. I love you.

[00:51:11]

He goes crazy, takes his shirt off, looking hilarious. I like this guy. I like them. I like them. I like Seth Meyers. And I'm like, I never met him. He's like, I thought, I'm talking about people like.

[00:51:19]

But you know what? I really miss black jokes.

[00:51:21]

You got what can I tell you? It was great. We get at the end of the rap, we do like a rap.

[00:51:28]

We did this big picture.

[00:51:29]

This is horrible already.

[00:51:32]

And they have these Black Lives Matter signs and they're walking around and they're getting pictures with like everyone holding up the Black Lives Matter signs, everything. We're in Atlanta. I think it was predominantly African-American shoot, but a lot of people of color on on the set. So they get this one where they're all set up. Coatis there.

[00:51:50]

I think Snoop's there can like all the all the and, you know, it is his name, but he's he was just a is not the same one. OK, Cody's married to a black chick and so they're all up on stage and they're like Bert, they are big black lives matter like getting a picture. I go, I'm probably the wrong guy. They're like getting the picture. I go, guys, this is the picture they're going to use when I get fucking canceled.

[00:52:13]

And they're like, What? And I was like, OK. So then I got in the picture, I got the picture. You can find it, it's on. Someone posted it, but it's we were we were all laughing. So I was like, I tell jokes for a living sometimes are off color and this is the picture they will use. When that joke comes up and I get canceled, it'll be me. Holding a black lives matters in the like.

[00:52:34]

You don't even take it seriously.

[00:52:35]

It was crazy. It was crazy because I've had people do that before. To me, it's interesting.

[00:52:40]

I obviously support Black Lives Matter, so I don't mind being in front of that sign. Yeah, but there is a weird like I don't want a virtue signal and put that things out there for anything. So I would never but I would argue that that's not virtuous.

[00:52:56]

You know, the majority of people see a celebrity wearing a Black Lives Matter shirt. Right. Or posting it up in the thing and think that is virtually right.

[00:53:07]

But I'm saying I'm making the point that, like, if if you really care about something, whatever it is, doesn't have to be that. Yeah. If you care about something or something is meaningful to you and you post it and somebody gives you virtue signalling, fuck them.

[00:53:19]

Yeah, but but I do feel weird about like I just I don't really understand what you're saying.

[00:53:23]

I don't have affiliation with any, but I've had people hold shit up in front of me a lot and not knowing what it is. Right. And you're like, how many things have I been in front of that? I'm like, fucking I don't know what that is like. I have no clue there. Or two people holding up signs. A can you say this to the camera? And for the longest time I just said whatever the fuck anyone wanted me to say.

[00:53:44]

Yeah, I didn't give a fuck. And now it's been politicized. But I didn't realize it until I said because a lot of people would come up with their Black Lives Matter sign at the end of our shoot and just be like hanging a picture with you.

[00:53:55]

And they'd hold up the sign in front of me and I had to look at it. So I'm like, please say something good because I don't know what the fuck you. You've got to it's you don't see it. They just put it in front of you and then you get you take the take the picture and then you walk around, you're like, oh thank fucking God. Yeah.

[00:54:08]

It's not that or some something I don't know like a don't tread on me snake. And everyone's like, oh he's a racist now. And you're like, oh fuck.

[00:54:16]

But. So, yeah, there's a bunch of pictures of me with Black Lives matters. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. I'm sure there's probably one blue I've matters all. I'm sure that everyone taking those all over the fucking place.

[00:54:27]

Um, well, is there another l'isle. Oh yeah. I'm sorry I got off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got a bunch more. OK, let's hear it.

[00:54:35]

So this one is from Hairi ok.

[00:54:41]

Hi, Tom. Hi, it's Harry here from England, and I'm happy to be but English Heidman I'll give you some lines that you can use here.

[00:54:49]

OK, let's hear what they are. But it doesn't smell. He just has a very innovative approach to hygiene.

[00:54:56]

This guy's really got me with the way he says inhibitive. Yeah, that's a really good one. I think that's that's perfect. When someone like you smell like shit and then boom but doesn't smell.

[00:55:04]

Yeah. Look, guys, I'm sorry, but but it's one of our finest minds, and you really are going to have to shut up and hear him out. I like that.

[00:55:13]

And I'll tell you why he's right about the other guy was a little more lower class. This is a little more like upper class white way of defending you.

[00:55:19]

I like it. And it's a little like gaslighting people. Yeah. The way he does it. And I'll tell you what, I'm done with people regurgitating information they've heard on podcasts. That is all I fucking hear. I listen to a podcast the other day and it was two people talking about shit. I've heard a million times. Same talking points regurgitate parroting shit that I've heard and I had a dream about. It was definitely a snoop dream I had.

[00:55:40]

I got high and I had a dream that Brad Pitt was trying to cut my feet off.

[00:55:43]

And he said he said to me he was he was as he was doing it and I was letting him do it.

[00:55:49]

This is Brad Pitt. Yeah. I was like he said something and I said, Yeah, man, I don't know what you're talking about. And he was like, I'm just a fucking moron. And he goes, No, you're not a moron. He goes, you have brilliant ideas and they are your own. I'm telling you ideas I've heard these aren't my own ideas. And he goes, You want to be the guy who comes up with the idea not.

[00:56:07]

And then I thought, how many? And this is about how many people have really been open minded enough to wipe their ass with just their bare hand.

[00:56:14]

Yeah, that's that's innovative in the sense that innovative. Innovative in that I am thinking out of the box. You are.

[00:56:22]

As opposed like I'm living out of the box. Yeah. Like and arguing about my lifestyle out of the box as opposed to just being in the box motherfucker.

[00:56:31]

Like how many people take a are doing kale shakes because they heard about it somewhere. Why don't you just like it's it's so many people.

[00:56:39]

I wish I could tell you the podcast I listened to it was driving me nuts. Yeah. Because I was like I was like, you're not you're not intelligent. I know you're not intelligent.

[00:56:47]

Well, we we get this constantly with just when you talk to I mean, comics are really fun to talk to. Very funny obviously and like imaginative people. But like you'll you'll just hear shit like someone with a strong opinion like you. Do you know anything actually about this?

[00:57:02]

And it's like, no, I honestly take pride in the fact that I don't know a lot of shit and I don't spout off opinions, but I am whatever fucking broken way my brain thinks at least are original ideas sometimes. Yes. And I was like and I mean, I have a million of them, but I got a couple.

[00:57:18]

Got a couple. Yeah. And as you're back, I like this guy.

[00:57:23]

You know what? Some of the smartest people ever live entirely off koolade. You go all the way.

[00:57:30]

And by the way, you know who else likes Koolade? Snoop Doggy Dogg loves Kool-Aid. You guys talk about it. We talk about Kool-Aid.

[00:57:36]

But it's a fine line on explaining who I am and just saying. Yeah, yeah. Because there's I saw that some of the crew had your shirt, the colored shirt, some of the crew.

[00:57:47]

Yeah. The I would say the majority of the crew that worked on the show was fans of the show. The Craft Services lady started stocking uncrossable for me.

[00:57:57]

And you know how hard it is to say no to uncrossable. Yeah. And then I go back to my trailer one day and there's a box of uncrossable in your trailer. And she had laid out four on the table to cool to like get room temp.

[00:58:07]

I just murdered them. I murdered them.

[00:58:10]

I couldn't stop eating fucking uncrossable impulse. I did. Every day I go, I need something more. Except my cousin fucking Andrew signed me up to be Pescadero him. And so all I got was fish meals. And then halfway through I'm like, I feel healthy, but I am like scrolling hearties.

[00:58:25]

Yeah. Yeah. And so. I started ordering Zak's because every day, yeah, chicken tenders, how was that? It was amazing. Good for you. Very good for you. And then the last day I said I walked by the trailer and I said to a wall and pop, I go, hey, what's for lunch today?

[00:58:43]

And they looked at me and they go, we don't need this shit. I was like, Wait, what do you eat? They go, we're getting oxtails. I know what you guys are getting oxtails. We to oxtails every day. And I went and I could tell that I was genuinely hurt. They didn't want to think about asking me if I wanted oxtails. Yeah. And they're like, do you want oxtails?

[00:58:58]

And I was like a very badly.

[00:59:00]

And then I said to my children, were oxtails in my trailer and I fucked them up.

[00:59:05]

How good were they? Dude, oxtails are amazing.

[00:59:07]

Yeah, but your dog's tail taysir time I would have to say fucking dog.

[00:59:13]

You didn't.

[00:59:14]

Berimbau No, no, no, no. Hear him out. Hear him out. Thank you.

[00:59:20]

That was perfect. Yeah. Tales are good.

[00:59:25]

I fucking Dill's when you pet a dog de.

[00:59:31]

Never mind, I've got to be careful. Right. I'm a fucking geezer, he's a fucking geezer. Let the man of a few words with you or you just back the fuck up and listen, you absolute bender. All right, shut up. Sit down. Let the dog Chagres rid of a fucking word. And you ain't right.

[00:59:51]

See, this is really is really I mean, these different Lyall's are really enticing. I feel like that that Lyle is who I always imagined the l'isle to be. Yeah. You know, I think the sophisticated Lyle is an interesting one, but this one makes it sound like that if the person doesn't let you finish that, this guy is going to fuck them up.

[01:00:10]

Yeah, I like by the way, this was a brilliant idea to have Lyall's. Yes.

[01:00:15]

This was a burr out of the box, thinker out of the box thinker.

[01:00:21]

This podcast might be the best podcast in the world. Yeah. I enjoy it, is it is it bad that I can listen to our own podcast and laugh? No, I listen to this person, to the Salaf, I listen to his podcast on the treadmill. I've been dying laughing. And someone's like, what are you laughing so hard at? And I'm like, me.

[01:00:42]

They're like, you're listening to yourself. I go, and this guy listening to me.

[01:00:46]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there another one. Yeah. So that one was James from Essex. James from Essex. Really, really hit it out of the park.

[01:00:55]

He really, I mean like if this was an audition kind of is he'd be getting a callback so.

[01:01:01]

Yeah. We got a couple more from James then. OK, hang on.

[01:01:04]

Whoa, whoa, stop a second. Let's talk. Okay. Give him a minute and let the man talk.

[01:01:13]

That's really he's really killing. Yeah he is man that is really that's how I imagined the child to be.

[01:01:19]

It's it makes me want to have a pint, you know. Yeah. Like I want to have a pint of beer and you're just like spewing shit that doesn't make sense.

[01:01:26]

It's offending everyone.

[01:01:26]

He's like, oh don't oh don't let him talk. Oh, listen to me, you absolute Toby, stop interrupting him. He's got a good point, right? I'm talking about a scheme for you might have had one too many to drink, but the man makes a lot of sense. Well, what's the top down? Keep your lips and let me finish what he signed. This guy is killing people. To me, it's fantastic. Why is what's a Toby?

[01:01:52]

I mean, it's got to be like a tool, I guess, right? That's what he's saying. Oh, yeah. Google Toby.

[01:01:56]

Yeah. You fucking Toby.

[01:01:57]

You British think Toby a drinking mug in the shape of a human head with a hat on top.

[01:02:04]

Wow. I know. Scroll down. Uh, Iturbi someone level their very good friend. And all this was a problem for the buttocks up to Toby, he's I mean, it's definitely like an insult.

[01:02:20]

That's great.

[01:02:21]

That's great if you have any more. I'm from and did we get any protection from James? Yeah, yeah, we're about to get into that. We got we got one more for you from Marco, OK?

[01:02:35]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, take it easy, Kisa, that seems to be a bit of a misunderstanding yet, but see, when my neighbor said you don't like the type of guy who bums fags, you misinterpret that as him said you don't like the type of guy who might be a homosexual or a pastor or a fundraiser. The way you actually meant was you look like you might want to borrow a cigarette, right? Trust me, I'm fucking British, so take you that fucking do what you can.

[01:03:03]

That was very specific. Very specific.

[01:03:05]

I'd have to be calling someone. I'd have to be asking for a cigarette for that one to work. Yeah.

[01:03:10]

Like so give us the heads up on what the subject is a Birken and actually start with it.

[01:03:14]

You know, that's really those are fucking awesome. Yeah. All right. So this one is he wasn't looking at your wife is what. OK, so you should be like, hey, look at that chick over there.

[01:03:26]

Hey, look at that chick.

[01:03:29]

What do you mean? He was looking at your wife. Blowfly yourself, you fucking beland Marmite butt fuck. Stokes and you won't even go near misses with a ten foot bargepole.

[01:03:39]

You go, I made Papachristos. Yeah, this is a really good thing. Yeah.

[01:03:43]

This is really you're going to Hiralal. I need a while to just walk around with me. By the way, I had one my producer on the show was British. Yeah. Yeah. And he just taught me like he'd say he called people a shower of cunts.

[01:03:56]

I loved it. My friend Mike told me that there's a lesbian. He's Lebanese. I guess there's an Arab insult that said, may it rain a thousand dicks in your mother's cunt is is like an Arab insult.

[01:04:11]

That's that's so great. Yeah. Oh that's great.

[01:04:15]

I we need we need the I. Yeah. That's an awesome one. Yeah. All right. Is those all the ones. The British ones. Yep. Those are all the British anatomy black ones for Tom.

[01:04:24]

Oh yeah. OK, so I just said something stupid I guess. Right.

[01:04:30]

Yeah. Yeah. So, so you just said, you just said a point that maybe a lot of people might not agree with.

[01:04:35]

OK, and fucking deal with it. All right. Why don't you let my nigga Tom finish his motherfucking point. Oh God. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Fucking black metal. Better this time, man. I almost stopped and went. I apologize. Play that again. Play that again. Why don't you let my nigga Tom finish his motherfucking point.

[01:05:01]

Oh, ok. OK, so. So. We have a name of this gentleman, Seth. Yeah, this is Avery Avery. Well, he's got a bunch of options. OK, so let's say, for example, purchase. Hold on one second. One second. One second. This is what I love. This is what I love about a I'm just breaking down wightman's. Great. OK. Yeah.

[01:05:22]

Yeah, it's it's that they're taking words that we know, changing them into their own and forcing you to listen to what they're saying. It's this is brilliant right here.

[01:05:38]

So. When he says innovative, innovative, it forces you to listen because you go, did he just say that word wrong? Yeah, yeah.

[01:05:46]

And then now you're listening. Now you're actually dialed in.

[01:05:49]

And that's what we needed out of a Heidman Yet when Avery says fuckin point, it's almost like he's taking for a ride in a car and the and you can feel the tinted windows and the back of it laid down when he says, Motherfucking Claverie motherfucker, one more time.

[01:06:09]

Why don't you let my nigga Tom finish his motherfucking point, it forces you to listen. Yeah, and now you go, I'm going to let Tom point. Avery is fucking awesome. Keep going. I could listen to this all day. Aper, why don't you shut the fuck up and tell that my fuck over there to pull up the video? We need to keep that one.

[01:06:32]

Yeah. Like really, really accessible.

[01:06:35]

Really accessible on the guitar.

[01:06:43]

Oh, can you send that to me so I can have that as my ringtone for what he calls me every killed it man. Oh fuck.

[01:06:51]

Is there sick. This motherfucker Tom not give me this motherfucking joke also man. That's fucking awesome.

[01:07:02]

Avery killing it. So that was Avery. And up next, we have Justin.

[01:07:07]

OK. Hmm. A home in shut the fuck up, let this snake finish saying what he had to say. Maybe it's on.

[01:07:15]

Go ahead.

[01:07:22]

This is so great that I want this at home. You know what? I want this to play for my kids. Play that I want to get. Yeah, they're like, dad, dad, dad, dad used to fuck up.

[01:07:33]

Let the snake finish saying what he had to say about Tongo hit me shit.

[01:07:38]

All right. When you finish dinner, then we can have treats. OK, yeah. So fucking great. Yeah.

[01:07:45]

Those guys never shut the fuck up. Oh, this next one is from Mathes. He may get his fucking point out, though. Oh, that's perfect, that's really perfect and simplistic. Yep. You know, it's so funny. That's a good that's a good wife one.

[01:08:01]

You know, when you're the wife that keeps talking, you're like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

[01:08:06]

You know what we need to do? We need to. I think this might be cancelable, but we need to do make this a show no better than this show.

[01:08:17]

The game show to TBS is not like well past. We're good. I wonder if they're I wonder if we would be fooled if a white guy did these accents. Oh, yeah.

[01:08:32]

Do you think a white guy could trick us and we would not know that he's white? Very few.

[01:08:36]

The answer is yes, but a very, very small percentage.

[01:08:40]

That is like white folks, white folks from Memphis could fool us, know. Yes, he could. White folks from the white folks from Memphis, white folks. Two seven five is that is Handal. Oh, he's a person. He's a person. Yeah.

[01:08:55]

He, he if you close your eyes actually you should close your eyes and close my eyes.

[01:09:01]

Play a clip. Do this. OK, play a clip. Just go have a black guy and then. And then. And then a white folks and I'll tell you which ones. White folks. OK, can you figure out how to do that? Um, yeah, I just it's like. You could open your eyes either because having him search for it is like, you know. It makes me wonder if I could kill somebody. See here, that is.

[01:09:31]

I hate to say it, I don't I can't tell which is better to have I have a white man. Yeah. OK, here we go. Close your eyes. Don't know what you mean. You don't know what it means, you know what you mean, and you just you just don't tell your wife.

[01:09:56]

That's a white guy. That's a white guy's a white guy. Wait, so it's white. OK, so it's it's white folks on Instagram h y t e.

[01:10:07]

What if Al casette three seven five? He's a hustler, man. What does he do, spit game, gets fucked up, makes music. OK, go to, like, close your eyes again, OK? Second, the last post there, can you put can you play that one? That's probably that music to tell on role in all of this, although I enjoy every dollar, he's fucked up, that he's fucked up in that one not to fuck me.

[01:10:48]

Oh, I see. You almost subsidize your fellow. So what's up? How do you get a voice like that, you could he I don't know. I think he's been you grew up in Memphis. He's he's he's been I don't know him these streets for a long time.

[01:11:09]

Mean, I see him drinking that way and I go, I don't have anything to worry about. What do you mean. Oh, how old is white folks. I have no idea.

[01:11:15]

It's got to be like fifty five or something. Right. Maybe.

[01:11:18]

So is he a rapper. I don't really know man. I mean I think he's a. Did you find him. I got tagged in a video that he posted. He hit me up though. Yeah, what's was cool about it, yeah, because, um, I don't think he'd seen a deep fake somebody put my face on it. I saw. Yeah, he was like he was like, that's me. And I was like, yeah, I know.

[01:11:39]

He's like, why do people think it's you? Because because they put my face on it. Wait, is there magic?

[01:11:45]

Yeah. I was like, no man.

[01:11:47]

It's just a just a trick. Yeah. That's I couldn't tell if that was a white dude or a black keys. That's what I'm saying though. But the percent like somebody that to do it like that, I mean it is kind of talking. Frank Caliendo could do a black dude's voice.

[01:11:57]

He could do I think respectfully. I think he could do probably what we would consider. Now, somebody said this.

[01:12:05]

I think he and Edwards said that Eddie Murphy needs to update his black guy voice because, like, the way that he did standup, he was like, well, you know, I mean, like and then also and you go like, oh, that that's like a 20 year old like, quote, black guy voice. So you'd have to kind of like, update it. I think that, like, Frank would probably be doing that kind of like like, yeah, brother, you know, where you go.

[01:12:33]

Like, well, no, no, that that doesn't actually sound brilliant.

[01:12:36]

Frank, I'll do a very authentic maybe he can and I shouldn't I shouldn't be crazy is because he's probably good at it.

[01:12:42]

But this episode of Two Bears, what came is brought to you by talk space. Listen, it is super important to be taking care of your mental health right now. Mental health is a necessity and it should not break the bank. Sometimes I will not go to therapy when I know that it's too expensive. I did that in my past and I don't do it now. Now, my wife won't tell me how expensive my therapy is, but I do it.

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[01:14:09]

See if there's a. I watched this video of this guy from Boston one time, yeah, just walk around the city for like 30 minutes and he was just they were just interviewing his accent and the way he said things, it's type in Boston.

[01:14:28]

Man accent. And and see if it comes up in YouTube. No, go to I got obsessed with this accent because it was so. No, keep score, scroll down, scroll. Yep, that's him, that's what I want, just real thick, three million views. Three years ago I watched this whole thing. Listen to the way this guy talks. OK, OK.

[01:14:53]

So bartended and the just just don't go and ask me to do it off. You know, I don't do that. Klym Right. He works and he goes to Salem State to kill the master like Qiam all the time at school. And I show what's up. I don't get Boo out of the kid. Let them know she's got some serious problems with the accent combo.

[01:15:17]

We don't just ask about Jimmy Chicken, but doesn't it doesn't that sound to me like parts of it sound more like New York? Like a don't does. It does.

[01:15:29]

Accents are really interesting because I think for me, because I didn't grow up with the Boston accent, it's a harder one to duplicate.

[01:15:35]

You know, I can't do I can't do it. Boston, I can. Do I, I think Boston.

[01:15:42]

That is hard. If you didn't like hear it a lot. What, what accent could you not have sex with. Could I not. Oh my God. Like that.

[01:15:49]

I think it's called the mid Atlantic accent. It's the Philly, the Philly, Philly, Baltimore, Baltimore.

[01:15:55]

Oh Pulla Baltimore.

[01:15:58]

Baltimore. Accents are fucking funky Raeford. I mean, my dick goes up inside of me and out of my asshole when I hear it.

[01:16:06]

I want hot Baltimore chick. Hot Baltimore chick I. We got to hire somebody else to do this. Oh, no, you know, you're going to get is that Kim Classic if you're heard of. She is. What do we do?

[01:16:24]

She's a Republican because she's going viral. Yeah, hang on. We're trying to listen to accents, we know anyone that has a Baltimore accent that is there anyone in comedy? Well, cycler can do it perfectly. Yeah. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. More Bowmore.

[01:16:42]

Yeah, he goes. He goes the national anthem. Oh say can you see by the dawn's are we.

[01:16:51]

Why it's so tiepin.

[01:16:54]

Just let me hear some Baltimorean.

[01:16:55]

My God. I am going to fucking run into the booth right now.

[01:17:02]

I say bottom exes say this phrase out loud, earner and I on her.

[01:17:13]

Why are you saying this? This is not this isn't even remotely to Baltimore.

[01:17:18]

No, dumdum, I want to hear Baltimore porn on here. Porn in Baltimore. OK, type in.

[01:17:29]

Girl from Baltimore accent. OK, Tuesday, she's going to say, OK, let's see, let's see what that one is, just click the button link here. I'm back here in Baltimore with the family on Christmas Day. And I want to teach everyone I'm sorry, Baltimore am I teach everyone how to speak Baltimoreans with the help of my family here. Here's the word. All right.

[01:17:53]

I pronounce that word water, water, water.

[01:18:00]

Because it once he hears the word, I pronounce that word.

[01:18:04]

Baltimore Barmore, Baltimore BHL.

[01:18:08]

Amitav No. OK, Gary, pronounce that word. Picture, picture P X, questionmark.

[01:18:18]

These are like authentic accents, but it'd be better if I a woman. Yeah. Just you know, like that's the search. Like find the girl talking who's got scroll down scroll. And no, let's see, this little tart was this one. I never thought I had an accent, but everyone else told me I did two different parts of the country. So the role until you. So that would be I've I've had Li I like Leeann's accent, but there's times when you're like.

[01:18:53]

I can't get it, yeah. Maryland, Maryland. Hmm. Couldn't find it, I would. OK, I'm looking for it, my favorite accent is British is insane. South African, it's probably South African chicks. That's Nebahat accent.

[01:19:15]

Let's rank top five accents to fuck.

[01:19:20]

Um, I'll tell you one that is South African Irish is not one you want to hear. Yeah, no, I think South Africans, superhot South Africa might be the hottest I think, like. Right. That's so hot.

[01:19:32]

Oh, my God. Oh, yeah.

[01:19:34]

And then, like, Argentine had to like the pancakes. What I don't know what accent is that is a do you know what I want. I want that big pancakes. Big chocolate chips in my pancake. Oh, you're doing OK. Pulp Fiction girl. You want to murder her.

[01:19:52]

You're like he just wants to do get fucked in the ass. Yeah. Whose child buries blueberries? I want blueberries to be blue. Oh, no, no, no.

[01:20:02]

You did not crush your fucking skull. Yeah.

[01:20:06]

Which is what he wants to do. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's what. Eh, I could never fall in love with that Long Island accent like I hooked up with a girl from Liverpool once. Yeah, that's a fucked up accent. Yeah. Where did you hook up with her? In New York. One of my only one night stands. She I told you this. She drank Kvasir and smoked cool cigarettes.

[01:20:29]

And the whole time I was like, this is what it would smell like to fuck Tupac.

[01:20:33]

I could not get into it because it just had a very authentic. Yeah. Like Kvasir and like it was like such a weird mixture to drink and.

[01:20:42]

Yeah. And she called me one time. And I talk to her on the phone after when she got home, I called her and there was a car bombing right by her house. Yeah. And so I was like, I hooked up with the chick from Ireland one time. That was a horrible accent because I thought it would be sexy as fuck. But it's not. Yeah, she's like, I'm going to die.

[01:21:03]

An old maid who was like, well, it's because no one ever loves me. No, no, no. Oh, Danny boy, my dick's not that's not hard.

[01:21:12]

Italian accent Super sexy, right? Somebody with an Italian.

[01:21:15]

Oh, yeah, Italian.

[01:21:18]

Like, if you think of one accent that was meant to get pregnant, that's Italian.

[01:21:23]

Italian like that was they were it's such a scene, which is like a if they're speaking English, I can also never really distinguish who's Greek. Greek sounds very similar.

[01:21:32]

It's been type in, type in who's who's the fucking OK, top guns part do that girl's accent.

[01:21:41]

Yeah. That girl's accent which think might be French could be French sexy.

[01:21:50]

How about how sexy women like Salma Hayek speaks? I mean, she's Mexican, obviously. Is she? Yeah, I know that. Yeah, we think she was from South America. No, she's Mexican, but Mexican, Mexican, Mexican, Mexican. She's slowly speaking.

[01:22:05]

Some of you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Her. I love French cheese. Yeah. So, um, one of the subjects of this movie is, is it's pretty hard to. Yeah, let me hear her. Yeah. What's the. I do remember as a child of a very early age. Looking at an area in my little town where the houses were very, very tiny shacks, very, very tiny shacks, I don't to say I don't know how to say in English is the sexiest.

[01:22:43]

Yeah, yeah.

[01:22:44]

Because now I feel like I got that she married a French guy. He's a billionaire. OK, um, by the way, this she she really loves him so much. Can you ever really love a billionaire. It's hard, right? Yeah. And the question is, what she did to me was poor.

[01:22:58]

No, no, not at all. Not at all. That's what she called a picture of him. Oh, OK.

[01:23:05]

I have a better look, I'd better be in actual race car. Images. There you go. Here's the guy now I go back to the other one, no disrespect, Zelma, the Furneaux, she's a black that and I think that link click that link. Inside the lavish life of Salma Hayek and Notre Dame savior husband who got her and supermodel Linda Manuelita pregnant in the same year, OK, he is a footballer.

[01:23:41]

He is a fucking baller. I'm wrong. Whatever he's got, she wants.

[01:23:46]

He's the man who pledged 86 million euros to rebuild the Notre Dame in Paris when it kind of looks like James Craig.

[01:23:54]

A little bit. A little bit. Daniel Craig. Daniel Craig. Yeah, a little bit, yeah. Hey, I'm going to go ahead and toss you.

[01:24:00]

That's roughly 100 million dollars to fix that thing that you were bummed out about.

[01:24:04]

I bet he puts it down. I bet he does.

[01:24:07]

He got both pregnant the same year, two of the most famous women. And, you know, you know, I bet he didn't say sorry. No, he doesn't. He's click. Click is because, you know, Wicky as Wikipedia, you know, he just was like.

[01:24:24]

He was like, yeah, I'm also a billionaire, yeah, I will get people pregnant from time to time. That is what billionaires do. Yeah, I apologize. My name's François Penult, the seat businessman.

[01:24:40]

Yeah. CEO carrying president of the group are Tami's married to Salma Hayek since 2009. Look at that networth bro. Where where there. Oh no.

[01:24:51]

Thirty three billion.

[01:24:53]

What did you do. Yeah. Yeah I bet he does shit like he's like oh of course I've had a fetus. I've eaten a fetus.

[01:25:01]

Oh shit shit. You can't.

[01:25:03]

You'd be like huh. Let's see here. Oh, my God, I wouldn't mind one billion when you hang on, hang on, just out of curiosity. He's worth thirty three point two billion. Yeah.

[01:25:16]

How much is that point to two hundred million dollars Delaplane to point to more than more than I have. It is more than you. How do I. OK, let's let's workshop this. Let's reverse engineer this.

[01:25:31]

OK. How do I get there, good. This is good. Let's put this out there. How do I because I need help.

[01:25:40]

I need I'm going to raise a billion dollars, whatever you do, a Kickstarter. And what's the billion for? I haven't figured out yet, but it's for good. I wonder how much I could raise from a Kickstarter of let's make Purt a billionaire. Yeah, and here's the goal. If I don't get a billion, it all goes back to everyone. I think that's what that I get to 300 million dollars.

[01:26:06]

Oh, no, I don't think I don't think that would be an issue.

[01:26:11]

Would throw money at it going let's get him to just under a billion dollars and then take it away.

[01:26:19]

Imagine if this was like if it was like at nine hundred million people were like, oh my God, he's going to make it. You're going to get your I get to ninety eight million. I'm like all I got to do is get past a billion and I keep it and there's just there's a team of scientists watching the internet going oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm going away.

[01:26:34]

OK, ok, here we go. OK, we're billionaires. What are our four. We are brilliant here. OK, here's my pitch. Er out here.

[01:26:42]

Come out, give me, give me a Lyonel and then give me one of Tom's guys. Give me something. I got an idea.

[01:26:47]

Come on. Can burts talking, thank you, Lyle. Tom and I would like to be billionaires. Yes, we are starting a Kickstarter campaign to be billionaire, to be billionaires now. Right now, we're going to tell you what we're going to do with this money, OK? And we want you to know that your your your throwing in your your your little ten dollars, 20 dollars here and there is going to a not necessarily a good cause yet.

[01:27:15]

A fun cause. Fun. What do we buy.

[01:27:17]

No, no, no, no, no. Hear him out. Hear him out. Thank you, Tom. Yes.

[01:27:23]

What are we spending a billion dollars on. Type in panel and type in ship and not owns peanuts.

[01:27:31]

That guy's name, right? I don't remember Pernot. Remember Salma Hayek. OK, yeah. Yup. And then type in stuff he owns. We definitely need to buy a sports team. Oh yeah. Yeah. OK.

[01:27:45]

His luxury fashion conglomerate owns brands like Gucci, Yves Saint Laurent, but like McQueen.

[01:27:51]

OK, so he's got to own more so just pull up more, ok. Like he actually, I'm sure, oh, he's got family money, he didn't even make it, he got it from his dad. Jesus Christ. OK, OK, so we need to first of all, we need to be chairman of of something. OK, we got about. How about OK, this is what we're going to buy. We're going to buy Planned Parenthood.

[01:28:15]

We're going to buy Planned Parenthood. Where are we going do with them.

[01:28:17]

We're just going to make sure everyone can get abortions. Yeah.

[01:28:20]

He has will be chairman on the board of Planned Parenthood, the auction house, Christie's and a three thousand piece art collection with works by. We're not going to do an art collection, OK? No, we're not doing it. Or no fun. No fun. We are going to get we're going to. He's 84.

[01:28:38]

He's 84. He looks great for that, he's a dropout, he's a high school dropout. OK, all right. He, um, Tom Otik, he owns a French soccer club. Yeah. So we're going to be talking about go to Zwicky and find out what else he owns.

[01:28:53]

Scroll down.

[01:28:54]

We're going to own a sports team, number one, right? Yeah. OK, we need to stand up. We need to be on the board of something, OK? We need to start a charity. These are the things that are going to do with this money. And then we can play with it. We can get yachts and stuff like that. OK, but we need to set up why people want to give us a maybe we don't even need a billion dollars.

[01:29:12]

Wow. That's a good concession to start with. OK, how much do we need if we need to buy how tiepin how much the Tampa Bay Bucs cost. I think it's going to be pretty expensive.

[01:29:23]

OK, let's start. How about this? I got a better idea. What else is he owned? Does it say what else he owns? Did you find anything else? Minerals. Minerals, OK. Soft computing football, OK? Awards for awards. All right, what if we start our. Ah, this is our road to billions. OK. We start a holding company where people pay when they get a portion of our earnings. I mean, you are going to be in charge of this money.

[01:29:57]

The number one thing we're doing with it is buying a sports team. And then these people who donate money will then be members. They'll be part owners of the sports team as well. We'll give them shares to our company. I mean, you get 50. We're going to be major owners right now, 50 percent of our stakes in our share. OK, so then we buy a sports team for one. I think that's the quickest way to make money.

[01:30:18]

OK, is I bet we can find one for cheap right after coronaviruses 08. Should we buy the cheapest NFL team, your cheapest NFL team?

[01:30:25]

What's the what is the least valuable NFL team?

[01:30:30]

It's got to be like the fucking Panthers or something.

[01:30:33]

I don't know, man. It's got to be in the market and they can't. The Bangles and there were two billion dollars in. It's a lot of money, we need our billion back for two billion, that's right, billion dollars in perspective. And this is a this is a really recent article. I mean, look at the hit, the actual link there. Let's see what the. How the fuck we buy a sports team, does it give you the list?

[01:31:02]

Do you realize Joe couldn't buy a sports team? I'm sure there's a list there. Four point four billion dollars. Yes, it looks like the least valuable teams are are the Tennessee Titans, the bills, the line, Tampa Bay, two point two a week by Tampa Bay.

[01:31:22]

Yeah, we still need to point to a billion dollars. So how much do you think, honestly, we could raise from a Kickstarter? Not close to that. Nobut mean like in like a fund like Afghanistan, knowing like, fuck, I'll give them a dollar. How many how many people are in the United States?

[01:31:35]

Three hundred and twenty eight million. About how many people are in Asia. We're going to have to learn to speak Mandarin.

[01:31:40]

Yeah, a couple billion. Yeah, this is how the fuck do you make two hundred. There you go. All right. All right.

[01:31:50]

Now we just need to focus on Asia, OK? OK, we put all our focus on Asia. This is why. How you can get money from people in Asia, in Asia, in Asia? Well, I mean, this is a fun board meeting. Yeah, this is by the way, they'll be getting a lot of these.

[01:32:08]

We'll hold our board meetings live at on our show. And and and as of wotcher viewer, you then can know that you can hear I like this. This is a brilliant idea.

[01:32:21]

Look, let this marinate. OK, I got it.

[01:32:27]

Starting today, Tom and I are starting. Two bears, one cave holding Corp., OK. Your investment makes you a part owner of two bears, one Cave Holding Corp. Now we're going to start small, right?

[01:32:42]

But we will end up owning the bucks probably. And if you buy in, you will then be a part owner of the Bucks.

[01:32:52]

There's a lawsuit against. And Mr Krishna is making a fine point. Do you see how that just worked out? That was one of my ideas. Yeah, but no one thought was going to work. And also this fucking working theory, and that's where you should invest in two birds, one cape, holding court, holding court.

[01:33:10]

Excellent point. Look, we're going to wrap this up. We have another thing to do. But I just want to make this point real clear that we're very excited about the Holding Corp. to Bears Live is October 15th.

[01:33:20]

Get two bears, one, two bears, one cable, live bears, one cable holding Corp. dotcom. Get it before it goes. Oh, yeah.

[01:33:27]

Make sure you get because this is our company and its first we're getting pictures in suits. OK, getting back to back with a luxury yacht and we are going to do this, we're going to do this and we're going to make fucking millions and we will. Oh, the publisher. And this is the new dumbest thing. Oh.

[01:33:47]

Go to IMH virtual dot com for tickets, also check out the new thick boys hoodie at Mirch by the dotcom slash Tom Sagrera. And we will see you soon.

[01:33:58]

Bert. Tom. Tom. And where one goes topless while the other wears a shirt. Tom tells stories in bird snowmachine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep it clean. Here's what we call there's. Okay. No scrapes, a bit of booze, amateur photography, dirty jokes, raunchy humor, no apologies. Here's what I recall. So there's one case.