Oh, snap, there's hot gear, mirch message dotcom slash cigarette. Head on over Merks by the dotcom slash Tom Sagara one on this episode of Two Bears.

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And start with two hundred and twenty five dollars off of your order. Let's start to show you this, this is going to very, very, very hot and looking good.

Looking good. He's burned, Krischer, I'm sorry, just put the pedal to the metal. Going is a perfect way to start on the show. 12 years in the making. It's going to be a fucking shit show. And everyone's going to is going to be a hundred percent.

You just finishing this chapter of mine.

Come on, give him a second. Look at these look at these likes. Yeah, it's an interesting perspective. Seems like a fucking lot, right? Yes.

How is that that high? I have no idea. That's likes Brunos views, views like. Whatever it is, it is not a million people. Why do you think it's so high? I have no idea. I have no idea. I don't know. I wish I would. I wish I had a marketing brain about me where I could go mention your Instagram. Wait a minute. You don't think you've a marketing brain, you're marketing. We started the show.

I didn't say anything racist.

You were reading a pretty racist, but Ozawa's started, OK. I was out of it. No idea. I said to someone, the end of the day, I'm 96, 97 percent artist, three percent a businessman, and they were like, I don't think so. I think you mean alcoholic, by the way. Partied hard as fuck on Friday.

Hard as fuck. How much did you drink that? A lot.

Like I had four big cocktails and then and I murdered one. I just pounded it and like, it flooded me.

It felt so good. I ended up listening to the Grateful Dead. I listen to post Malone's whole Nirvana tribute. It was awesome. The girls were inside. They were in the room on all my face time. Leon was gone. I was just wasted by myself. I got in the pool. I opened a bottle of wine. I watched the movie on Michael Hutchins from Texas.

It was like the best and then shut it down the next day. Shut it down. Didn't even fuck it. So you watch that movie drunk. Oh, yeah. Where where did you see it? On on Netflix.

On I think on Amazon maybe. I knew I'm a big fan of Michael Hutchence.

You know, he lost his sense of smell and it ended up driving him crazy. No. Yeah. That's why when people are saying they're losing their sense of self. When people say, let's take from the top, when people say they're losing their sense of smell or their sense of taste, it that's not Michael Hutchence. There we go, there we go. No, no, no, go back to the goalie. I want to know what movie you thought.

I watched Nadav on the Toronto Maple Leafs goalie. Now, I misspelled it and misspelled its Michael Hutchins', I get auto corrected my misspelling to Hutchinson. Yeah, I hear you. I hear you. That was a great conversation anyway, um, Michael Hutchens is lost, his sense of smell and a sense of taste. When did he lose it, though?

He got into a fight in like Bangkok or maybe not Bangkok, but he got in a fight. A cab driver pulled up on him and he was like, fuck you. And the cab driver knocked him out and he had a severe head injury. This was later in his life or later in his life. And he was dating Elena Kristiansen. Pull up Helena Christensen. Do you remember Helena Christensen, Moksha?

Oh, well, all of one of the most beautiful women ever in the world. Yeah.

My God, she was supermodel. I was thinking about what if what if you just went through and fucked all the supermodels that are now aging. Yeah. And would love love the attention because they're like, oh, I don't have it anymore. You're saying you do them that favour?

No, I was actually thinking of a movie like writing a script about a guy who goes around aging supermodels and he's like, I thought you like that like seventy like seventy years old.

And they're like, you know, they could use like forty five year old Dick. Yeah.

So you're saying a 70 year old supermodel. Yeah. Type in 70 year old supermodel.

These girls are like fifty right now, you know. Yeah. Helena Christiansen's at forty nine right there that she's only forty nine. That's what I said. I thought, oh wow.

That's way out of my league. You're saying like that, like, yeah, like meh musk, like, oh wow, that lady's eighty three Japanese selfie. Go to Daphne's selfie, just type in Daphne selfie. I'm sure itself Daphne's self, I wonder what she looked like in the 50s. Hmm, go back to yourself, young, right, young. Oh, it's like it's so old that you can't even tell if it's pretty, because it was just like that when you couldn't tell it was pretty back then.

I don't like it. You're like, oh, yeah, it's hard to wow, there's a certain time, age where you can't see if it's pretty anymore. You're like in the 40s, you're like, no, I get it.

Now, someone has to tell you that this was pretty then like, you don't stand out there. And it was beautiful. This was a lot. She was a nurse. She worked under Florence Nightingale. Yeah. I like what it took to be a fucking supermodel. It just it hair. I mean, what is she wearing?

We it's all this close, it's too much close, you know, we're going to get fucking murdered for trashing her.

Yeah, I don't give a shit Liz Jones type in fucking type and model a supermodel and I guess lot of supermodels, but model 19, 18, 19, 18 gone up there, just appear at a model 1980.

Do you like the models, 1930's, you know?

Yeah, swimsuit models do that, maybe like the swimsuit models, 1930. Yeah. God, can you imagine the racist shit that came out of there?

Go look at these dogs, not nobody here, so they go straight to my wife, could be a model back.

And your wife would blow all these out of the water. I mean, look at this. Hold on. We go go back to the fuck in the Poconos. We enlarge that.

That is not. I mean, do they look at their faces before that picture is not that is not attractive. I mean, it's like a fucking bus stop.

Like I don't know why they're. Oh, my God. So when did women get attractive?

This is like right before they went into the mine.

It almost almost feels like attractive happened at a moment way after this.

Let's see if we can pinpoint where women have attracted decade by decade. That's right. OK, zoom in on, zoom in on the bigger one, can you make it bigger? OK. Uh, not the best. Not the greatest. I'm not. No, I'm not blown away.

No, I mean, I wouldn't I wouldn't turn my head if I walk past it, you know.

I mean, the center one, I guess is if she had attitude but no women had attitude back then, they'd get beaten.

Superdog, I mean, anyone with any women come in who speaks her mind and there's no justice at all when we find it in a woman's personality. There's got to be. And she's a real firecracker.

I'll take care of that now and also you realize that when the police came to those situations, they'd yell at her.

Well, this is what you fucking get for having a big mouth. OK, this girl is kind of attractive and like, hey, I'm going to be working at the beach for the summer kind of way. 1940s swimwear.

Not my favorite look, man.

It wasn't happening in the 40s. OK. OK, let's go. Let's go, let's go. 50S, 50s. Maybe they figured it out. Swimsuit model 1950s.

Oh, wait. Can you zoom in on any. OK, OK. I mean, she's she's cute.

That girl's cute. Yeah, she's not bad. Go to the one before kicking in the air. You know, that's Jayne Mansfield right there.

It's just that the she's making a face. You can't.

Yeah, she looked like a hot executive, but not like a swimsuit model. Who's that? As Jane Mansfield. I think they're not. I don't know. I don't know.

But she looks hot like an island girl. Yeah, she look pretty cute. Scroll down. Go down. Shows a few more.

OK, OK. Now you know what this is. Television showed up around here. So this is where what is.

That's my whole. I think I got guys I think I'm sitting on something guys. I mean, I'm definitely sitting on a sea urchin.

This is see, this girl's parents told her she was way prettier than she is, you know, I mean, they kept they kept telling her, you're gorgeous and. Oh, that.

OK, let's let's argue this. We're going to probably need a woman's opinion on this.

Yeah, OK. OK, by the way, a little disclaimer here, yeah, these are brand new thoughts, so they haven't been thought out, so I can't get in trouble for them.

Those are all your thoughts. Women always shit like like progressive women. Shit on the male standard that we've applied for beauty standards. Males apply to beauty standards they shouldn't be held up to is.

Yeah. Is it possible that this is simply before that male beauty standard? This is before notes?

Well, this is should be the decade that it happened and this is this one the 50s is this one woman's beautiful.

Is that Monroe. I can't even tell. So Marilyn Monroe might be the first attractive woman?

Well, I don't know if she's like like like like what we like.

How about that, hands on the hips there, hands on the hips. Yeah, it's growing. She's pretty. She's pretty and little hippy, I like it if I can, accountant's daughter. All right, good. Is there another one? You know, she's got dark sideburns like hair grows down her cheek.

Oh, yeah. She's it looks like she's smelling her armpit like, I think face to man.

Go to the fucking track if you're going to look like that.

Let's real quick, let's get a palate cleanser. Let's get a palate cleanser and type in 1990 swimsuit model.

Oh, let's just get a palate cleanser. Oh, look at your fucking shitting me. And my dick just got hard. Like, immediately I go back to these pictures and they would buy my dad would get the swimsuit edition at his office and I show up at his office getting ready for baseball. And I'd see it. I'd be like, oh, I wonder if I could rub one out real quick before we got to baseball.

God damn it, these girls. So wait, so this is is this effectively what women are complaining about is this is the male standard. We're talking about the male standard right now.

Are they complaining about the swimsuit model? The swimsuit issue. Yeah, like this, like these are like unrealistic things is what I mean by these. These most of these ladies are genetic anomalies, you know, I mean, that was that was.

Who was that last one. Yeah. Was that Tyra Banks. Tyra Banks is I met her in person one time she came.

Yeah. They don't even look real. Right. When you meet them, you're like she look real.

Her and Heather Graham do not look like real human beings. Like they're so beautiful.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, so Rick Pearson, I would be a toilet, by the way, the average, just like I say this, because they're in our business, but the average fucking female comedian is hotter than any woman in the 50s.

Oh, yeah, I agree. And I'm saying that because they're just comedians 50. Halle Berry is perfect.

Who's this? Fifty five year old. Yeah, who is that? I don't know. By the way, grey hair is sexy as fuck. You know, I watch Goup last night, goup. You watch that?

Yeah, I watched it with what's her name? Gwyneth Paltrow. Yeah. Gwyneth Paltrow has got great roots. I find it hot. Really?

Yeah, I like great reviews. She's letting the grey go. No, I think she just was being a little sloppy. Really. Yeah. I think her stylist wasn't paying much attention to type in Gwyneth Paltrow grassroots. We had to grow roots to grow, to grow roots. Can you see them now? It was in goup, there was about dude, by the way, is that is that's on Netflix. Netflix, by the way, shout out to to Paultre if you're watching this Sharath again about Gwyneth Paltrow.

My mouth is sloppy this morning. This is I got laid because of Gwyneth Paltrow.

When. Last night. Why.

Because they did a whole episode on orgasms. Hold on. Don't let me forget to write men on their ok. The there was a whole interview on the whole segment on female orgasms, and it was talking about just about how like it was just fucking 30 minutes on orgasms and then LeAnn just hit the TV.

We don't watch. And she goes, What do you want to do? I was like, I don't know what you want to do. As you as I say, we go into the bedroom. And I was like, Dun's on and I brought the fucking thunder. Did you really? I sincerely did walk us through it. I kissed her first time, which I normally don't do. I just usually put in work. Yeah. Like because the kids are still asleep, we lock the door.

Lately it has been like coming in our room, just busting our room with fucking big ideas.

Hey, I got an idea tomorrow. This weekend. Let's go to Hawaii, you know, and she wants this week and we're going to Hawaii in our backyard.

We're going to turn our backyard in Hawaii and go to Hawaii. That's cool. But so I go down south, I put in work.

I go down south. I put in work. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like a carpetbagger. Yeah. I fucking go down south and I set up camp. I'm going to sell these. You always eat. Asked you know I never eat us.

OK, Leon's not.

It's not Liane's you know, the hand's gotten so fucking prudish, she has a statement, she says all the time. Wrong girl, wrong girl. And it wasn't that way originally.

So you suggest something or she's like, I don't know what we want.

I suggest the other day I just said something. I said something.

So not like, let's go have sex in the garage. She's like, wrong girl. And I was like, what it used to, you used to do that? Yeah, that's who I was. But I'm not that person. Things have changed. Wrong girl. She says wrong girl all the fucking time. You look good, by the way. We're good. Thank you. Thank you.

When I got drunk the other night, I'm sitting on the couch watching Michael Hutchins'. He's having crazy sex on the thing. They're talking about it. And I'm like, go have another pop little a little sip. Right to.

And then I just go, I'm tired of this Ron girl shit out of nowhere, like, I forgot how alcohol will start a conversation with you. Alcohol, you'll be sitting on your recliner and alcohol will be like.

If feel good, right, I'm like, yeah, and he goes fucked up the way she talks to you though, huh? And you're like, Huh? It's like do she says like wrong girl like you like you never fucked that chick before. You fucked that chick. That's who you married. I'm like, yeah. And he's like, wrong girl my ass. She does. It does. And I go, she doesn't. He's like, well you better tell her.

And I'm like, well and then out of nowhere I'm right here. What's up with this wrong. I did this wrong girl shit.

And what she say she went excuse me. And I was like, I'm done with it. Like Don't let's not do that anymore. I don't want to, I'm not old. I don't want to be old. Let's still fucking have fun. I want to have sex in the pool. Wrong girl. Wrong, wrong, wrong girl. I think we've done it before and she goes yeah and I like it. Wrong girl. She does. She says wrong girl.

So much to me just to shut it down.

Wrong girl. You either vasectomy. No. Are you going to get one or didn't we say we were going to get them together. Do you want to sell juror. Wrong guy. I don't want to start saying I want to get one, like when once you can do elective stuff again, you know, like this summer. Oh yeah. Are you going to. I haven't, but I haven't I haven't had a cardiologist appointment I missed and my tooth is starting hurt again or let it go for a while, but then maybe we do it all the same week.

Um, I'm not even worried about my cardiologist. I'm in such fucking better shape than I was when I scheduled that appointment.

Actually, I was going to say, you look good because you've thinned out.

Thinned out. Yeah. I don't know how much I've lost, but I'm not going to weigh myself like it because it just fucks with my head.

Yeah. I want to enjoy myself, so I'm running like crazy. Cheers. I'm running like crazy. My. Here's my new theory don't let me forget men. I am tired of people making me I'm tired of the bullshit they comes up with where you got to count your your sober days in a row, I think that's bullshit. I think that's that that's what their whole goal is. It's stupid, though, because it sets you up for failure.

You can't have a good time if you do if you have to do all your sober days consecutively. I mean, I'm being serious on your. I mean, they yeah, they mark like months and then years, 45 days right now, 45 days.

What? I have been sober for 45 days.

There is no but I want to change that. Like, I want to change it to you.

Drink three days ago. Yeah, I know, but I want to change it to. I want to change it to I want it to be different. It's like no one does a diet and goes, yeah, I just I'm strict on my diet. And you go, well, you're a fucking lunatic then. Well, some people do do that and they're fucking lunatics, right? Right. Like when you meet someone, it's like I've been vegan for 15 years.

You're like, OK, no party at all. Like, no bacon. Like, if you like, I might not like you like I don't think I'm gonna get along with you, you know.

I am. So what do you mean somebody there like I've been sober for, you know, ten years. Ten years. And I go, wow, you must be really out of control. That's what you hear in my head, I hear it, I go, you couldn't just have a drink and they can't and they go, No, no, no. And next, you know, I'm stuck in behind a dumpster and you're like just one drink and you start to find dumpsters and then can by the way, we're talking this through.

And I know I've I posted something about sobriety the other day on my Instagram and dude, so sober people got really upset, like really upset.

What did you post?

I said something about the fact that I, I had drank I had only drank in 41 days. I only drank once. So I said I drank 40. I haven't drank 40 over the last forty one days. And everyone's like, bro, you drank on Rogan. That's fucking bullshit. Just so you know, that upsets us. Sober people don't talk like that. And I was like, hey, go fuck yourself. Don't talk to me. Like I'll, I'll talk anyway I fucking want to.

Right, OK. Yeah. So like, like I understand that you have an issue with alcohol. I understand you also see that I do because everything that you see is going to come out with those glasses on. Everything's fucking or nothing I, I just go. I wish that you could just find a new way to go like yeah I don't party for like a month but I have a night off like like I wish there was a way to have that be an accomplishment.

So that makes sense.

Yeah. I mean it can be to like to yourself, you know, I guess I guess my point is I'm like most anyone in like the sober community.

Yeah. It's not going to see your approach or style to this as like, hey, credit given because they don't view it doesn't work for them like that. Yeah.

It's the same people that get really upset. I got a lot of people talk shit to me about sober Rocktober. Looking at your OK, OK, spent 40 of the last forty one day stone sober, right? So 41 days, I had my first drink and average. And by the way, this is also crazy. My deep sleep is when I drank was like an hour 37. And when you're sober, it's barely fucking three minutes.

So people wrote to you, uh, alcohol dependency, liver is fucked. Have you tried?

It's like first of all, there's no gray area. No one, by the way, is the dumbest thing in the world to ever. This is where you really isolate those people with IQ from 70 to 75. Yeah, like that. You really want to find those people are in this comment thread, OK? It's people that have never lived a life.

Your body is your body is used to alcohol. Give it more time to adjust.

OK, OK. Jason Robinson. Yeah. Jason Robert. It's been 41 days. Just so you know, you haven't read anything Jason Robinson and that you're after 21 days, your body is it's out of your system. That's that's all the research I've done.

It doesn't take 41 days to get alcohol out of your system. Right. Actually, after five days, it's out of your system, right.

Yeah. By the way, I didn't research that, I just said that out loud, but like you look at these and then it says your body is going through withdrawal. That's why I read Hick's once again to Imane Emon, Imane Nadaf, Nadav Tiepin.

How long it takes for alcohol to get out of your system?

Yeah, we'll check back with you in 30 minutes. OK, but my point is like it's amazing how low like when we do so Rocktober I get a lot of people really upset that you do so by October because like you guys, this isn't a game. This is, you know, like sobriety for a lot of people's very cherished. Like it's like a. Not one hour, Nadav. I'm typing, so apparently it takes one hour to get alcohol in your system.

I don't know. OK, look at the people also ask, does it say in there, maybe don't worry about it. I think this is a poll. All right. How long does alcohol stay in your system that the American addiction centers? Yeah, that one. Does it give us. It's not it's not up to six hours. Twenty four, I mean, hair, 90 days in your hair, in your hair. That's what it says.

Yeah, well, I know. I think that. I think is. Anyway, my point is. I've read some of those comments and I was like, this is fucking ridiculous, and then you go, I don't like I really enjoyed not drinking, like I've enjoyed it a lot. And I go, come, man.

I like and I love building up days like it's cool to look at you go, wow, I did the last 40. What I say 45. I haven't drank forty three days or whatever and it's cool to do that.

I get that, I get the accomplishment part but I also like fucking cutin getting off the reservation, having a fucking good time and then showing back up the next day like at manlike.

So we're going to start this up again huh.

Like I love how you want to go. You like to do off on. Off on. Yeah. I think it shows more strength to be able to start back up for one night and then bring it back like like is that in the guidebook.

I don't know. But I want to start my new I my own AA right for me and my fuckin people.

Where we, where it's like where, where we set up rules, where we go. It doesn't like drinking. Days don't count unless they're followed by another drinking day. If you go to day drinking days then you got to start all over. You can't get this is going to be really popular with the sober.

It's funny man. I think I'm like one of the older people that drinks too. Like you start looking at when people quit drinking, people quit drinking like in their thirties. That's when people go, oh, I'm done drinking.

No one does it to my age. Unless you are like a career drunk, like anyone that's made it like a tell. Quit when he was like thirty five. Yeah. Like no I'm starting looking around that like the canaries in the mine.

It's like me stand up and Ronnie White are the guys who are the only ones that really put back alcohol. And then you start going like wow, it's just three of us. Like there's not a lot left. Giraldo died like you are looking at everyone is dead.

You're like, holy shit. My point is I want to I want to set up my own AA.

You should you familiar here. Throw these on real quick. Are you familiar? Have you been following the norm stuff at all? I wish I could express to you the excitement I have in my heart. Yeah, I don't know what you're about to talk to talk about. I love Norm McDonald more than anything. And I think I'm about to be super excited. You're going to be very excited.

So check this out. It's not playing, I think, I think. Of course not playing. Hello, today, we're going to make French Canadian poutine fries with our fries. Well, basically your fries during summer cheese. And this is a great exact opposite of what I wanted.

Really. I thought you said Norm MacDonald. I just said, Norm, how you can imagine. Have you been to camp? You've been to Canada. Yeah. If you had poutine, of course.

However, there's going to be a bit of a change to the recipe. Everybody likes to change the recipe up these ones. You're going to have fries, cheese. Pink shirt and pink pants. Oh, it's going to be a treat. Uh, so let's get the Nobel Peace Prize first.

What is on his jacket?

It's like a little chastity thing, you know, like a punishment.

If it gets harder for no show, it just sit around and make sure all the fries are covered in.

You know, I love that he's Mr. Rogering this last time, too.

Why does this make you laugh? The main ingredient, Haisten.

Oh, wait. You see that? You see.

Yes, I saw it. I saw it. I thought I would, you know, I saw it.

I thought, hey, look, I know how you take the cheese and we skip ahead here. Why are you laughing at next watch?

Oh, you got to take a look at this a little bit right now. Oh, yes.

At least picture. Right. So I just think I was funny.

No, I'm not. No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I can't look at that. That's fucking disgusting like that.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I am. I was about to throw up.

No.

And I I can't do it. He's eating it. He's fucking eating it. What is wrong with him? What is wrong with him?

Like what happens to a guy like that?

He's just doing what is said to do his job. Yeah, but this is a woman, really, really hot woman. Yeah. It's got to be like the hottest woman in all of it. He's also he'll give you a blowjob if you're in Calgary.

Who's in Calgary. Yeah. Yeah. OK, awesome. Man. Do we have anything else that we can watch that is the most watched.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because I'm, I'm bothered that you're crying. Laughing that you have tears coming out of your face, that you're that happy that that isn't a.

He didn't even wipe, he just shits on it and then goes and sits back on a stool.

Oh, how are you going to defend this to your children one day when you're when you're long gone and they're in college and they're going, what kind of stuff made Dad loud and they're going to see this.

By the way, I just realized this is a catch rag I have in my pocket.

A catch rag. Yeah. What's the catch? Ragano here? Feel these little hard spots all over it.

This is fucking gross. All right. We got it. That's really cool. Let's change the channel.

You don't hear the river? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I can't believe you like that. I don't like it. How do you find that? I threw up when I saw. How did you find it? What? How did you find it? I didn't find it.

How did how did you first. Someone emailed it to us. Yeah, he saw his ups. Oh, yeah, so the same guy was like he's taking the whole time. I kept wondering if I could do that. You can do it. I thought I could. But give me a couple of rubber bands so that after we played his check ups, somebody sent that.

And it's pretty funny, though, right? Because it's poutine.

Poutine.

How much to let him spend the rest of the quarantine with you guys? He's a really nice guy. Do you know?

No. I mean, I've been dealing with him. Oh, really? Yeah. What is he saying at the. I'm I'm like, are you like my videos? Yeah, something like that. Want people to know that now is what he does now. Well he doesn't want to be like highly, he doesn't want to do interviews but he's like target you know, I don't mind you playing my videos and it's I got a good laugh out of it and everything.

Really. Yeah. There's not. He was really nice. So what what do you think happened to him?

He started BDM stuff at fifteen fifteen. Yeah he's fifty seventy three now and so wait a fifteen.

He started doing it and he just, it just works for him.

It's just been building and building and building. Yeah. He loves it. Wow. How can you, I mean I guess I go the same way people look at me probably drinking in an airport at six in the morning going how can you do that. I look at him and I go, how does that I guess it just fills something that's empty in him. There it is, could be. It's just so bizarre, like it's a reminder for Birte men.

I'm going to pivot on that one.

That's so fucking bizarre. You wouldn't do something like that. No, I said. Oh, this is an old tweet, oh, yeah, that was a real brilliant idea playing that game. It must be nice to be an Orthodox Jew, same clothes every day, same friends since childhood. And what does this say?

And all and all the chicks look the same when they hit 40.

When is that from? Well, that's from December 29th, 2009.

So New Year's NutraSweet go through my timeline.

Is that when you lived in, um. Yeah. Yeah. Well, moved around a lot of Hasidic Jewish people. Orthodox Jewish people. OK, I guess so. I guess I guess this is one sided. I guess times never said anything negative about anyone, but no, I definitely was another one.

This ended up being like a bit. Right. I did a bit like this was to go talk to black people like a black person, please tell me that carries over to Asians, Indians and the deaf.

But this is my tweet. I know I'm saying I did a bit about Sigel and how he would like pander to whoever he was.

Oh, it was for me. I just I don't remember that, but I remember. It was big, I would do it when I talk to black people on television. You did that? Yeah, yeah, I did it a little loud speak.

No. Is that what is called Dellucci? I think it's called code speak. A lot of hosts will do that when they like you talk to old black man. Leon did at one time in a in a fuckin I wish I could get the girls from. We were driving and we had this like this do that was just like real like like man we we're going to begin to the airport kind of kind of late. He was driving us and fans like me and the girls in the car.

And then he goes, when we be getting to the airport, the girls we had like was like, I don't know, I got caught off guard. I used to do it.

A lot of TV will do it. When they talk to, like, an old black woman in the kitchen, they'll be like, so you just bring in the love and you'll be like, by the way, I'm definitely guilty of it.

You can see it. It's funny because you see it all over television.

It's super common, but you don't do it to Asian people. Like for whatever reasons, you don't find yourself, you know, like and nodding. But and that was the joke is you only do it to black people. You don't do it to Mexicans. Right. You don't do it to anyone. But for some reason, as a host and I'm I'm only going to out myself, but I will say that it is very common. You see it a lot if you watch a lot of fuckin.

So if we pull up Travel Channel clips of you, you definitely.

Yeah, definitely. So what would you do if you had to like your theme park? You're talking to people and then a black person walks up, you'd be like, what's the best man? If I saw black people, I fucking light up because they give you a lot of energy on camera right away. You get off in a rollercoaster. A lot of white people, you'd be like, so it was ride like it. And then they see the camera and immediately they go into corporate mode.

They'd be like, was a lot of fun, you know? And they'll white people will rephrase things they've seen on television. If you ever, ever ask a white person about a bite of a sandwich, they're like, it's great.

I get all the different textures. I get the crispness of the bacon. I get the fluffiness to the bun. The cheese kind of just is all over the place. It's really great. All the flavors kind of come into what you like. Yeah. Because you're chewing it. That's how you get it all in the one you face. And so trust me, it's fucking frustrating.

And then if they're black, if a black person just is very real to this day, one of my favorite things to do is watch any food, travel, DIY, anything, any of those. Eila does it with Asians. No, with if you just watch a White House with black people every fucking time they go every time, you can't help it, man. And it's not you know, I watch someone. I watch someone.

I won't say who this is, but I think you can figure out who it is. OK, he was like always on an island in the Black Sea. That must have been like ninety. It sounded like the girl from Airplane Saga was no help, so you don't get no help Jive Turkey. It got so bad that I think I want to get going. Please. I've never been this bad.

And I've been worse. I've been worse. Yeah, it's a you think you're connecting, you know.

Yeah. Yeah. I just something you know, I did when I was, I was a kid I, I just because I so loved hip hop.

Yeah. I would just think that like if somebody was black and older, like 30s for an old I was like this is something that will relate. And I'm talking about as a kid 11 twelve. Yeah. And my my dad is like such a honky that I would just be like, let me talk to this person because like, you're a cracker you don't know anything about.

Yeah.

So one time they my parents hired I think these guys to paint like brooms in the house or something. And these two black guys come over and I was like. You know, trying to make them feel comfortable, I was like, sorry about my white parents, you know, like they were like, OK.

And then I go, sorry about the oppressors in the other room, you know, and took me.

I never thought about this for years. And it's been startling to them painting.

And I was like, do you guys want to listen to music? And they were like.

And I was like, this is it's good because it gives me a shower and I, I go, I got it. So I got my boom box and I set it up and I oh, I was like, I got stuff you like.

I'll go out here, OK? And I just put on. Imagine you're just painting by the way.

You're just you're at a wall and you're like well maybe doing this for hours.

And I was like, here's some public enemy. Welcome to the terror dome. So they're like, oh, really nice casual.

Oh, no, no, no, no. Get down.

Yeah. And it was like, you know what? Good. Are you guys hungry? Yeah, I did. I did. Like, we're good. We're good.

Well, the thing is, like, I insisted on like you got to listen to this album front to back and then loud.

So my parents were like, I hear what they're listening to. I was like, oh, that's my parents. Oh yeah. In their house so loud.

It's all like Malcolm X shit. And I'm like, OK. And then like, I they left and I was like, oh I did that for you guys.

Oh, oh, oh oh. It's so embarrassing, by the way.

I can do that, I want to do an entire sketch on that, like Tom comes in and he goes, I my parents are white. I'm sorry they made you use paint brushes. Here are some spray paint cans. Gentlemen, I know you guys enjoy painting like this.

Oh, my God. That's fucking great men.

Oh, I don't know. Hold on. I'm not done with this. That's fucking hilarious. I love when I because, you know, it's so funny. There's so many times where you misstep, where you're trying to connect. Yeah. And it and it's viewed as negative, but you're just trying to just trying and it's like one of these guys was like fifty something.

I mean he was like you could tell that he probably wanted to listen something a little more low key.

And I was like, this is your music. Oh I'm 12 and this is what I know.

Oh my God. That is. So what is it OK, in comedy like that is just pure comedy because it is you're stone faced like you're not. Yeah, you're not. I'm trying to be funny.

No, not at all. No, I was genuine and I'm unaware of.

I'm just like, I'm like, you're black, this is your national anthem, you know, want to hear it like oh yeah God that makes me fuckin laugh.

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This has been a Gigli episode and I'm going to get a lot of fucking backlash. Oh by the way, shout out to DAX Shepard. Yeah. Who sent me Doc Sheppards. It's I'm sure it's his podcast. People sent me a shirt on and so I got a did you see him pull the fucking pin out of his hand.

No bother me now I'm a huge DAX Shepard fan.

All of a sudden Zack Shepard that Zach sent me the shirt and I was like I was like I was like I was like, man, don't shit on him, dad. I was like, I can't I'm fucked his name up. I fucking everyone's name up. And so I and so I Googled him and I started like looking up.

Stuff is done, checking out his podcast and then now I get him and Kristen Bell are in my news feed on my Google News because I Googled them once. Now that's in my news feed. Oh. And so I get everything on what's going on in the news with them. I'll tell you, DAX gave a list of drugs that he hopes his daughter does and hopes his daughter doesn't do. Actually pull it up. Let's see what drugs Daddy thinks his daughter should do and his daughter shouldn't do.

Kristen Bell just got critiqued by her daughter on whether or not she was a good stay at home mom teacher. And then Kristen Bell fired back with a touché. Or maybe I was not here to talk about drugs. Go up, OK? I thought it was the first story. It is right there. Yeah. I don't know if I'd be comfortable, I want my daughters never to do any drugs. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, like I don't want them to do drugs, I don't want I wonder if it's mushrooms at some point he wants them.

I don't think mushrooms.

I mean, I. OK, if you could go back before you read what he says they should or shouldn't do, if you could go back and never have one drug experience and sit here today like Daniel Tosh or Dane Cook, never fucking with your brain's chemistry whatsoever. Yeah, I would argue that Daniel Tosh has never had coffee.

I would think. I think he's had coffee.

I don't think he has. I think I've had coffee with him. OK, then I'm wrong about that.

Dane has never had coffee. He hasn't no big hot chocolate guy, hot chocolate, no job jerking. I don't know.

But I'm sure that had coffee. But it's so crazy that dude, everyone just made my hot chocolate and that's how I start my day.

Would you go back and never do a drug and be where you are today, or are you comfortable with where your brain is now?

I mean, I'm I am actually a proponent. I like the psychedelic stuff you I'm saying like I'm a fan of, you know, going down that path.

But I think and all the other stuff, the stimulants and the you know, the OK, look, I don't feel that you need to do any of those, OK?

List of drugs, let's see the drugs that I'm Darkseid. Yeah, not cocaine or opiate stimulants and opiates, so those are the ones I'd be like, you got to try those ones really to cocaine is fucking amazing. You would tell your daughters that.

I mean, you're going to have to say, like, what are you fucking child like? Yeah. Step up your fucking game. You're going to have to try Coke once you get to tell them to step up their game. Hold on one second.

Let's be real. Like like obviously this is like a make believe world.

I wouldn't want my daughter to ever get addicted to cocaine, but you're like, it's I don't know. Right. You've done cocaine. Never. Are you serious? I've never done it. And I've wanted to try it. It is awesome.

It is like it does, you know, it's like what you ever see a movie and you're like, God damn it, Tom Cruise is worth every fucking cent they pay him. Yeah. He is a great action star. That's him holding on the side of the plane. Yeah, that's cocaine.

But for real, you put you do cocaine and you feel.

I remember being let's get some I'm I would love to know where to get some, uh, yeah, yeah. I actually could figure that out pretty easily.

Let's do a couple of bumps like we should do cocaine on. Do we talk about this one? Yeah. Do cocaine on the show just and just and just walk us through, by the way.

Yeah. I remember doing coke and feeling like we were in New Orleans at Mardi Gras and I remember having a feeling during the day that I could rip this tree out of the earth. And it was it was like a freshly planetree that I was like, I definitely could rip that out of the earth, but I'm smart enough to know not to call cause a stink.

Everyone to be like, who's a fucking ripping trees out of the ground? Yeah, it is amazing when the first time I did it, it went it literally went. I did my I just went, I'm sure, to my left nose first and it was frozen from this side over like I mean I'm talking like from this tooth over here just frozen.

And I remember going over to my body going, I think I need one more bump to eye. This side of my face is kind of fucking I'm feeling it too much. I did the other nostril and then this side went numb and I went, I feel pretty fucking amazing. I mean, I went like a powerhouse all night. I barely drank. But you could. How much coke did you do? Not that much.

Just I've never been like every time I've ever done it. It's just been a couple bumps. I did it on accident one time.

How are you? Coke on accident. So we were with my one of my buddies and he had like the the little bullet where you like, load it and then you flip the thing around and then you hit that someone who's done coke. I guarantee fucking to answer it. Answer it. All right. How long. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen from Honey do Ryan Sechler.

Hey, Sickle-Cell. Yes, sir. Hey, we're doing a podcast right now. Have you done coke before? Cocaine.

Yeah, well, technically, yes, but not really. What does that mean? Well, it's interesting. I used to date a black chick did with smoke parliaments and they have a recessed filter and she would scoop the coke and then hit the pump out of the filter, then smoke a cigarette. And one time I took half a pump out of that fucking cigarette, which, of course, it's not going to do anything. And that's my extent of cocaine use.

Oh, I like to go up.

OK, how about, like, you were done like morphine or heroin? Yeah.

Yeah. You know, I do heroin all the time.

I've done morphine in hospital. I've done more. Yeah. OK, you ever you ever do like dust or meth or anything like that. Yeah.

I'm beginning to Portugal. Ron Paul. Paul, I heard you can really find somebody.

You fight like ten people when you're on that shit. Man Seven cops. Yeah.

Paul All right. Shit.

Oh, we're just going through some hardcore drug stuff right now.

I've done ecstasy. I've done that's the hardest. I mean, it's not that hard. That's the hardest I've ever done is ecstasy, shrooms and weed. That's my exten. I've never done acid. I told you my coke. I've never touched heroin, meth, speed, none of that. How about marijuana? A little bit of marijuana. I tell you, I got a weed habit on my way. I did drugs. I wouldn't have these teeth.

I'm the Cal Ripken of good teeth. I've had two cavities in almost 50 years. It's pretty wild. Yeah, me too.

And I have the worst teeth in the world.

Yeah, no, but you do not have two cavities. Two cavities. I have them right now. I remember my first cavity is this one.

Yeah. You got twenty seven. What's out Krischer. My stepson and I go to Santa Monica College and we're kicking forty hours on the rig. Thirty seven to forty yard field goals on the rig. If you want to come work out with us, come on down.

Are you training him to be a kicker.

I trained them to be a kicker, told him, if you want a college scholarship and you want to get into football and not be concussed and retarded, when it's all said, you know, coach, we got we got the I bought the real NFL play. So, you know, the little thing to buy themselves a kick in the net and we go out and we bang 35 to 40. Is he getting good on college? Yeah, he can he can hit them for 40.

He can. I mean, look, we're not putting them at the top third of the fucking up. Right. But they're going straight through and over the bar.

That's good, man. You guys got to just keep keep at it. How old is he? 16, he's like six, two and eighty five pounds, and he still hit his big head talking. All right. All right. Let me holler at you as soon as we're done here, OK? Yeah, I was just thinking about lunch, OK. All right, man.

Um, do you think that, uh. That we could do a shoe show with Dr. Drew where he kind of like almost like getting drug with high, getting dog with high, but we do Meenu and Sickle-Cell do all the drugs. Right. He's not going to sign off on this. Drew No, no, no.

But Drew just administers them to us. So like he finds us a healthy amount of cocaine and then we do it and then we walk you through the experience. It's a great show for YouTube.

Yeah, no, it's a culture. I feel like Dr. Drew might be like I can't really be administering cocaine a healthy amount.

Would you do a line of cocaine like a very small yes. Yes. And just go and be like, this is what I feel like. Yeah. And talk through it. Yeah. Yeah. I've been wanting to do that. OK, let's do it if I get.

But I heard he told me because I was I was talking about this idea with Drew. I don't want to go to jail if I get cocaine for you know, now you're fine.

But I asked Drew about that and he was like, you probably find Coke.

He said you specifically might really lose yourself to meth if you if you even on one time already fucked around with speed. I'm fine. And let's call this my problem. No know, Drew's a fucking buzzkill, I want to talk to him anymore. Every last time I talk to you, like, well, I mean, cut abrasions on his liver, it's like, dude, then why am I quitting drinking? I fucked the last person I want to talk to 42 days sober.

You're not 40 today sober. At a forty five, forty three, come on. Tammet, one month, 14 days, 47 minutes, that's not so.

Yeah, I'm forty two days sober. Watch out of 45, 40 or whatever. Forty five. Forty five days sober. No, that's how long I've been working on sobriety. And 42 of them work, 43, 42, whatever. I don't like. There's some half days I don't count. I don't count certain things like what? I don't count, I don't count Nyquil, why? Because Nyquil doesn't count. Why? Because it's just helping your pets.

Look, there's a lot of things that don't count. I want to get into fucking specifics. How much how much Nyquil. These two pills, OK? Yeah. The two pills of every pound. The bottle like the liquid.

No, no. I would love to, though.

Let me tell you something. The reason I do two pills is, as I swear to God, if I get the cough and I go, I go to the top where it's spilling over. Yeah. Where I'm like holding it like this.

I go, I used it in high school, fossicked my mom would bring me the cup, make a little cup and the bottle and I would just take the bottle and just sit back and drink it if you like. And that is more than the cup.

That's what I figured. If this is the little cup I got like this.

The no what are we talking about before this, though, men mount?

Undoing trying to scare children. Here's Drew.

Hey, man, I'm I'm I'm doing a podcast with Bert, and he is he's sober to date.

Forty three days sober. He's 43 days.

Not in a row. Not a row out of 45 days sober. And I was like, yeah, I don't think they actually that's how they count. Sobriety is like ahead.

That's not how you count it. Why. But why not Drew.

He wants to know why he can't start a program where you just try to not drink two days in a row and you counted as sobriety because those dogs will start to get closer and closer together.

I guarantee it. I guarantee it. Many have tried. Many have tried such deals.

And he also said if his liver has problems, that one over WOWO Drew, every time I tried to do it makes me want to start drinking. Yeah, true. Maybe. Yeah. No, no. By the way, hold on. Give me a phone, OK. Can I tell you something, Drew.

OK, Tom wants to go down.

Tom and I were thinking we do a web series where we experiment with drugs so we would try cocaine together. Not a lot, just a little bit. Just enough to feel it and then kind of report back to the camera, the YouTube community. You would administer the drugs like you'd cut a line for us.

I can't I cannot do that. I told you, it's super easy to cut a line, Drew. You take a credit card, you crush it up. Are you saying you don't know how to cut a line or you won't cut a line?

No, I will not cut it. I will not administer illicit drugs. We want you to shotgun weed in our mouths.

No, not unless we can get like a human resource, human research clearance from a committee and IRP committee. Yep. And just doing the research on you guys. Nadav, light it up. A couple of things for you. There is a supplement called d.H M that might help your liver a little bit. Finally, there is something that's looking a little bit like it might be helpful. So get that right. Yeah, right. Is that number one.

Number two, Tom. Yeah, yeah. Q Josh Potter is a sex worker.

Yeah, I know that he's doing videos for people with his shoulder hair and I think he does put stuff too.

I almost threw up, but he's also he's also he's feathering it is a feather in the body here.

Yeah, he is. He's feather in it and he's he said, you know, he started he's starting to do masturbation videos on camera two.

Oh. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. You people have ruined me.

d.H oh. What's the liver supplement. Yeah. I'm for a friend and it's and it's, it says, hang on one second. It's a hangover pill. Right.

Yeah. But it's also good for a little bit for your liver.

OK, tell him, tell him I'm fucking doing great. He's doing, he's doing great.

You know he he drank Friday a lot. A lot. A lot. Like a lot. A lot like a bunch of vodka bottle.

I will break every fucking I'm going to tell you I'm going to start my own AA and it's going to be sober. Day is not consecutive and it's going to change the fucking world.

There is there is a group that used to be called Moderation Management that had a very similar sort of approach. And they all they all shut down because it ended up spiraling out of control, as it always does. You get better for just form your own religion. Why does just do that? There you go. He actually likes that idea a lot.

OK, I figured I figured he's heard it, but isn't he he really feels like there's something to, you know, little bouts of sobriety mixed in with nights off and having fun.

You know, I'd rather see him do that. Right? Yeah, better than not. And that's his that's been his management style all the way along. And here we are. So good times. Yeah. Drew.

Drew, I think it says more about my sobriety that I can get I can go off the reservation for a day, party hard as fuck. Go right back on the next day.

Right. And that's that's where I know I'm not saying this is you. We're going to speak in the abstract for a second. The binge alcoholic convinces themselves that they can control their use because that's how they approach it. But as time goes on, the binges get longer. Durations between the binges get shorter and that's where it goes.

I think he'd like to see a little data on that.

Well, he's about to collect. So if I run if I run into one of them, Drew, I'll tell them. Yeah. Hey, is there any is there any company that you support these pills with? No, they're all the same thing. It's all the same thing. So should I go with the Amazon choice of EZ ultrahigh?

Yes, yes, yes, you're good. Wait, now, Drew, one one last thing here.

He did make the point that he thinks it shows a bird quote here, weakness in those who I is like a long time in a row, like 10 years in a row.

He's like, I think it shows more strength to be able to take sobriety, drink and then be sober again. That that's actually the stronger sober person.

Yeah, that that's that's the person who's engaged in what we call white knuckling. And yes, if you're considering hanging on for dear life stronger than changing your life and getting involved in something that is sustainable, I guess that's stronger. Yes.

We'll see. All right. Thank you. Thank you for all this, Dr. Drew, to talk to you soon. All right. Bye bye. By the way, I might have Drew talk to my funeral and have him just come up to the podium and go, told you so and just walk off.

You're the opposite of Drewiske. Who's the opposite of true Joey Diaz. Yeah. Let's just check in with him. Let's check in with Joey.

Yes, he'll do the show with us, Rocco. What's up, Tarzan? What do you do when you catch chickens on the street? Can you believe that they are doing road construction? Hey, I'm doing a podcast with Burt and I wanted to get your thoughts on something real quick. Would you, um, would you be able would you want to do a video where we do little bits of drugs, like a little bit of cocaine, a little bit of dust, a little bit.

And we just report on what the feelings are. This is like an idea, Burt. Know why the dumbest thing in the world, when they comolli them, he almost had to go to rehab, his wife got involved, you know? You know, he went for he work and faggy malefactor was jump up and down and get fucked in the air. And he fucking had to be taken to the hospital for therapy group and had to go get him out of high school.

But so far that lunatic doesn't want to give up. No drugs, no drugs, no drugs. OK, Carcamo drugs out of over that whole you know, who was going to be all right now he wants drugs. Why is it that people got a lot of cocaine as a joke? No, no. If you want to put it up for me, I got him. You got my dick. That's the part of that. Yeah. I want to be all right.

I want to try something like that. I want to try that. You put a little coconut quick and you put a finger up at the start of the cliff.

I don't know what you're going to say you do when you're 30, right?

We say that's always like there history on the other side of twist. Like I thought, the more the more the lifeboat you do no drugs, no drugs and see how it feels. It feels like shit, really.

Bert's been sober for a while now. He's been sober for 42 of 45 days.

I know. So why do you want to fuck around? I don't know.

I think he just wants to he's looking for a little of my strength. Yeah. He wants to prove me wrong. What does your wife. Why are you it? There you go to the water pump, 200 milligrams of I pull it can't even get that number. How are you going to set up Water Park and then let the old guy ask me why house sit. What do you mean when you think about the black guy with a firecracker? Was that what do you think of the black guy?

I know Mr.. Oh, my God. What did you think? When did you send that? I said that right now to the black guy puts a firecracker at. I might. Please send that video right now. Send it right now. All right, man. I love you.

His what do you think it's like, you know. You know, when you go to have his brain know, you know, when you go to bed and you're laying in bed and you're like you're like like you close your eyes, you're like, OK, I got a busy day tomorrow. I got to do a podcast. I got a zoom. I got a conference call. Oh, shut the fuck. Why would you do this? Why would he do this.

My God. Way, way.

Make it big, make it big weight. Make it through this. This is not all I put you put your headphones. How could he do this? All right.

For those listening, this guy squinting hard with one eye, why would he do. He's got a really thin firecracker.

It's like a blackjack. Right, right.

Some some try to explain to a listener, though, like it's wedged into the squint. You know, he's using either side of his eyelids to clasp this very thin firecracker. OK, volume's up. What is he doing, what is he doing? Why would he do that? Oh, my God, this is. You can hear Joey, it's Joey about Joey, Joey laughing. He's like, Yeah, that's Joey. This is horrible, man.

Oh, my God, this guy's like I hurt my eye, telling the doctor, Jesus, that is not a cure for coronavirus, everybody. Wow. All right, that what that. Oh, we'll see if there's the one that he sent have. Does it have the sound I like my new open chested look, I think this is my new look. I think I'm going to what if I started doing standup like this? Well, by the way, Joey's laugh.

Yeah, it's good, I think it looks good.

That looks really good.

So is this going to be like you'll have to if you ever wear clothes again on stage, they'll have to be a slow, you know, process. Yeah. So first it would have to be like open shirts like this. Yeah. That's how you can you can't just go to puttin clothes for, you know.

That's why I started getting healthier. I don't want to have open heart surgery and then not be able to do my shows about everyone going.

That's the motivation, was one of them, I have a few motivations like that. I've been running like crazy. I know, it's just I just I don't know if I like there's an emptiness to working out. Hmm.

You know, like like because I think to myself, like, what is the point? I'm never going to look like them.

Right? Yeah. Like, I'm trying to work out pretty hard, but like makes you feel good. It makes you healthier. Stronger. I guess it's good for you. It's probably good stress relief at times. I feel better after I work out so good. But like, I don't know, it's just odd.

It's an odd thing that you'd have to do that to feel better. And so a lot of people don't man at all. What percentage of this country thing doesn't work out at all? Oh my. The reason I'm working out, honestly, is not drinking is because the coronavirus there I'm not smoking cigars, not smoking weed and not drinking honestly 100 percent. Because the coronavirus really. Yeah, because I heard Joe's podcast. I mean, like all jokes aside right now, her just podcast and I heard him say lowered immune system, people who drink, people who smoke, people who don't sleep enough.

And I was like and don't work out. I was like, I'm all of those.

What they're finding actually is what's killing people a lot of times. Is your immune system going into overdrive. So like an overactive immune system is actually what ends up killing some people. Your immune system reacts in such a big way to this virus that it ends up killing yourself.

So how do you lower your immune? Like, how do you that's like something we don't really have figured out, you know?

So that's what I say. Everything starts attacking your body organs, your immune system, your immune system goes crazy.

How crazy is it that, like, this country is really going the majority of the countries like Jordan? Well, I I do feel like right now, like this week, you know, seems to be a better week, you know, newer cases are down like that.

I don't all I get is bad news. I've never gotten one good bit of good news.

No, if you start looking at the data, it looks like like new cases are I mean, it's all going everything's going to change when the testing goes up. But like, hospitalizations have been trending down. Really? Yeah.

L.A. had a really good at least a couple of. A couple of days a week this past week, been good, so then here's a question, would you go into a comedy club, say, in a month? But here's the thing, you have the what's the what does it look like in a month, so say say zero cases in and in Omaha and Coleen's like, I'm going to do half capacity.

Where are you in? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Security, that's the part of Mike, I'm not sure of where I go, I don't know like I want to get back on stage, but I think I, I think. I don't know, like a really neat I really hope that within a month they do some type of if if it's safe to do some type of shows at the store. That'll be a fun show to go to. There's no way they're going to be able to keep it at half capacity.

We'll see. Yeah, haven't we been having isn't it still on a downward slope here? In California, yeah, that's what it looks it is it is on a downward slope. Yeah, so so tell me, because I think I'm confused on the rules of stay at home. For me, it is work.

It's like this. Mm hmm. And then that's it.

But this is by permission, though. The city we're following guidelines.

So like so like I'm I feel like I'm at a loss for the guidelines because I see people doing stuff online and then well, like, I don't know, like it was really big. Everyone went and saw the dandelions write the poppy, the poppy fields.

Everyone a lot of people drove up to the poppy fields and we got a text from a friend saying, hey, do you want to go see the poppy fields? I said, that's not stay at home.

And I think you're right. And he was like, no, you can do that. And I was like, I wouldn't let me and my girls in the and go. But then I saw other people going. I was like, are we should we just fucking gone? Because you're only in your car like and and then that becomes like that becomes kind of like public. The public gets to decide. It's almost like your behaviors and actions then get put out if you decide to put it on social media and whatnot, for the public to decide if you're doing something wrong.

Right?

Yeah, I mean, publicizing it, it's a different. OK, what about like so I think I texted you about this because my friends were having wanted to have people over, they wanted to be sober, would be eight of us total and they're like, why don't you guys come for dinner? And I was like, because I think that's not stay at home.

I don't need you to have friends come over right now, OK? And the girls were pissed Liam was Liam wasn't pissed. She if she sees that, she'll be very angry. She was Liam was like, whatever you think is right. Will do. But the girls were like, come on, let's get out of the house. Let's go to someone she didn't like. They're like they've been quarantined. We've been quarantined. We're all safe. And then, by the way, my friend texts back, they're like, oh, we have not been technically quarantined.

Like, we've definitely gone to other people's houses. And I was like, oh, yeah. I was like, oh my God, I would have just gone to your house and gotten the fucking covid.

I think I think you're probably best to keep doing what you've been doing until they lift more restraint.

They're going to this is my brain, right restriction. This is my brain. And this is how I my I operate. Is this right here, I believe feed some sort of public service in that it's under the CDC guidelines. People are looking for entertainment. We are kind of doing like this is a job. And we all kind of made a pact like do not go out. This is our one. Get out of jail. Free is like come and do this podcast.

Stay socially distant. Follow CDC guidelines. But then I go, I've got to be in the house like literally every day after I haven't even gone to fucking grocery stores. Yeah, you should just keep doing what you're doing. They're going to they're going to California has a plan to lift a bunch restrictions in mid-May. So just wait till then. What percentage of the city do you think has been following CDC guidelines?

Hmmm, 20, maybe 20 percent, 20 or 30. I mean, you look at the bus stops, they're fucking packed and the freeways.

Yeah, I have more than you would think. It's an interesting time in history to have lived through this, to see I would never have thought this could have happened course in a million fucking. That's the most surprising thing about this whole experience is that, you know, we didn't ever imagine this would happen ever, ever again.

No. I mean, you thought that a pandemic, you know, you like everyone references a Spanish flu in 1918. You're like, yeah, dude, that was before they fucking had microwaves. Like, they don't know anything. They're fucking dumb dumbs walking like, you know, didn't have medicine. Like, you just go. If anything comes, we're so advanced, someone will just, you know, press a button and and then you look at where we're at.

So I can really makes you realize that we're not we're not as strong.

It's like it's like, you know, what this is all reminded me of is I remember being in a big grope in the ocean in Florida, but I remember getting in the ocean in California and being like, oh, yeah, it's the fucking ocean. It's not a big deal. And my body's like, oh, the waves are a little stronger out here. I was like, I got it, bro. I've surfed. I've know what I'm doing.

And I went out and I got and the waves were a lot bigger and I went underwater fucking holy shit.

And I got pushed under and I felt like I got a bruise from a wave and I went, Oh, this is I don't know the strength.

And it started to pull me out. I was I got scared. That's what this whole experience is like, being pulled out in an undertow where you're like, oh, this I had a similar experience coming out here.

What I mean, the first time I was just like, oh, the ocean around the ocean for years. And then you go and you say you're like, holy shit. Like it's like you jumped into an ice bath. And then it's yeah. The undertow, the waves, it's way strong. It's a it's a totally different thing. I mean, a lot of Florida beaches are like going into a bathtub.

It's like it's like eighty-three water and it's just like moving like a lake. It's like one of these. Yeah. It's totally different than what's the first thing. OK, right now they're like, OK, let's just say let's do this, do fantasy.

Right now they're like, hey, just so you know, we were wrong about the coronavirus. All you got to do is turn your cell phones off and we're going to be fine. We're going to come up with a new it's 5G or whatever they're saying.

And they're like, so you're good. Turn your cell phone off and you can do whatever you want.

What's the first thing you do? What's the first thing you do if people pull the stay at home?

First thing I do, that's a good question. Yeah. I mean, I actually realized that I kind of just want to be amongst as much as I always avoid crowds and everything, I want to just be like around people.

I'd want to just go to like, you know, like a shopping area and walk into a restaurant or walk into a coffee shop, walk into a bookstore, just like be like we walk around people that I would I wouldn't. I want to go out to dinner tonight. Yeah, I was go to a restaurant thing. I want to go out to dinner like I really the my days are fine. I was telling this earlier but my nature is a little depressing.

I don't know because I'm not boozing. So I like have nothing to look forward to. Like I just feel like you're like, oh great. Turn on. OK, yeah. And then what time. Bed soon. Let's go to bed. Yeah. No, a restaurant. As I'm saying social environment is what I would want to be around, you know.

Yeah. And then stop seeing people other dumb fucking masks on to maybe just go hit somebody wearing a mask. Just go rip my ass off people's faces. Yeah.

Just spit in their face. Yeah I agree with that.

Be how do you have any extra tampons in your car. No, because Nadolny is one. His pussy has been bleeding. Really. Yeah. Real hey, real quick, though, just to be fair about this, yeah, let's real quick. Google, real quick, if you can it off, when men became attractive, just so we can go full circle. So like go to 1940s Mad Men 1940s man. Oh, I got it. This is what you were getting at.

Yeah. Look at how sharp this guy look at this guy. No, no, no, go back to a zoot suit fucking riot guy. Go to the fucking guy, go to the first look at these guys. They look at this guy on the right. Vintage man. Oh, yeah, I mean, he's got to go on. So that's the power dynamic. Must have been amazing back then, right? Because like, they had all the jobs, all the money, then you had those fucking basset hounds walking around in bathing suits.

And then these guys had this guy.

Yeah, we'll get fucking even mediocre men were good looking because you didn't have the there were, I bet, the average over the average weight of a man. I bet everyone, every man was like perfect body weight.

I bet a lot more were there. Definitely.

Give me 19. Give me 19, 19 hundreds, man. OK, these I feel hands on there. Jesus Christ. OK, I guess we can find the date when men got attractive. Oh, Jesus, they all look like fuckin Dandy's. I guess they'd be attracting Brooklyn real animals back then. Oh. OK, OK, give me 1920s, man. This is right around World War One is when they started getting attractive, I think is when you.

Yeah. Oh no.

Oh, God. Oh, no harm. The Black Sox are playing today. Um, OK, you already have hats like that, I do have a hat like that. Yeah. OK, these outfits are fucking ridiculous, they are so people roughly became attractive in the 40s and 50s, I think so it's a safe, safe bet. Good analysis. No one was ever attractive before that.

All right.

We got to wrap up before 1950.

Do you wanna watch the poutine one more time before we go? Let's do it. We've agreed to do OK.

Thank you guys for a while because. What do you mean? Why the fuck do you need one? Shut up. So, um. What was I going to tell you? Oh, thanks for listening. Oh, we have the update. Is this a couple of things? First of all, Wheeler Walker Jr., we're both big fans of the new album, New Greatest Hits album called Fuck You Bitch is is out should be out right now. Um, a lot of people scooped up the we have new tubas to vises shirts where we're bears and one has 10 mgs and one has booze.

That's the new tubas. I don't think I've seen that one. Is that the one that I sent out. Yeah. Oh that's a great one. Yeah. Go to him though. Oh yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh I like that tie dye one is limited edition or I like to try that one.

And then the update on the hats. I get asked about the hats every day. A lot. I get a lot with that fucking shirt. Yeah. Those are pretty cool. Those are supposed to come in May which is this month if you're watching this as it comes out. So as soon as they're come out, you know what we should do, because I've seriously never been asked about something like that hat. And it is limited edition. We should do an IG live together where we like.

We put them up because they'll go right away. We should do OK. I did one of those. I did that Zoome for with 500 people. Yeah. How'd that go. I called you in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was, it was fucking awesome. You know what, not to say that there's any public service but you know who. It was really fun for lot. There were a lot of people that are single that are just stuck in an apartment and it's of like this one guy was like I was talk to anyone like a for a week.

He was like, thank you so much. Oh, what the fuck? And he was like, oh, this is like. And so that's really cool is when you see, like, who organized it. I did know but like who organized like who put it together like made it work. Oh me. You totally did. I presume you just get a an upgraded zoom account. Yeah. And then I said to my people I was like I think we can do like you can do that.

Three thousand people. I want to do it for a fundraiser. We've done. All right. I'll talk to you about it. All right. Right.

Thank you guys for listening and watching. I love you. I love you too. Bye, guys. But Tom, Tom one goes topless while the other wears the shirt. Tom tells stories in bird snowmachine. There's not a chance in hell they'll keep it clean. Here's what we call sandbaggers. Okay. No scrapes, a bit of booze, amateur pathology, dirty jokes, raunchy humour, no apologies. Here's what we call so there's one case.