You know, my dad told me a story once. I don't know if this is true or not. Yeah, because do you know what Japanese used to do to us? I go, no, because I'm a kid. Yeah. And you're like eight and eight and you're like the lollipop.

They used to hang coat on by the ankles with a rope, but below they take a big, big pot of boiling water. Then they dunk, they don't Corryong and we come right.

They don't go every time. Laskin gone. Oh right.

And he goes, goodnight 100 percent.

Roberto, it's great to have you here. Hello. Thank you for sitting in.

Thank you so much. I have to say thank you so much for the opportunity. Thank you. And I'm no, I'm being grateful. Thank you for the opportunity. I'm looking forward to it. I did some research. I'm a big fan of the show. Yeah. And I was a little panicky because I wrote an opening monologue and I going to say it now. Yeah. Yeah, it was I was a little panicky because I know that you and Burt are real men.

There's a thick, thick not not with the S.S., you know, I mean, the old school think, yes, OK, you're right. Right, right.

And you guys are into hunting. I don't know what you're hunting or whatever it might be. You know, maybe you guys drink like black coffee and you guys are into oak resin and knowing the difference between otters, beavers and porcupines, I think in France they're different. And Amelia and Amelia Kingdom, this is your assessment of just fat white guys? Well, no, I know.

I just because I the only thing I know about the show is this. And so you're like, oh, it's a wilderness. It's a wilderness.

Right. And I panicked. I'm like, I got to research. But then I'm like, fuck it, I'm not doing any.

But how could you think that knowing Burt and I that that is a show about something like that and not just to friends busting each other's balls? You know, I'll be honest with you.

I know you more than I know the other one. Yeah. Yeah. Well, there's the other one comes to my house twice. He drinks a lot. Right. How much? A lot.

Like it was uncomfortable not I mean, I wouldn't call like he's not barfly now.

Well, the thing is that like his tolerance is through the roof. Right. So he's not like Charles Bukowski. No, but but you know, but he's very close. But but you were you did take note like, oh, wow, that's a lot to take you. I go I don't think I would go on the road with him.

I don't think that I would like being on a island with him. You know, I think that things would happen. Sure. Like I would sleep in, I hear.

And when you when you when the booze runs out, a whole different guy would come out. Right. And then I did trauma therapy afterwards. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like he you know, he stuck it in there and he put me in this, you know. I mean and in the marshmallows. In the candy. Right. And the ping pong balls flying out of my butthole. Yeah.

And I have a paddle. I can just play regular ping pong.

You know what. Oh yeah. Yeah. You think that would happen.

I don't know you you don't know with him. So it's like I don't know. But when you asked me to do this, you know, there was a panic. You have to understand. And with you, I know you and Christy are been together for a long time.

Have met your kids. Yeah, barely. Hmm. I've seen them. Right. Yeah, I went.

Yeah, yeah. And so I don't know, you know, I think I know you, but we haven't really you know, we're not the best of friends, you know. Yeah.

I'd like to be. I do. I'd like to be. Let's make this episode about becoming a cop.

Yeah. Because that's a defense mechanism, right. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, those are pretty good anyway.

Did you go to the store for them or did you order them online. Are they a pandemic purchase. No, I go to Hawaii sometimes. And you walked around the. Yeah. What, in Maui. Right. Yeah, I go to the Four Seasons. Yeah. Big. Thank you. Big. I don't stay there. I stay at the grand. Oh OK.

Yeah you'll shop at the Four Seasons. Yeah. I got to get in there. Yeah. No it's too expensive. Yeah. Yeah. That's where I stayed to really stay at the Four Seasons. I mean I did when I went there. Yeah. I still get on. Yeah. With the waterslides. Slides are cool. Yeah. But it's pretty ghetto. It's so expensive though. Everything in Hawaii is expensive. Oh my God. I got one of those.

Are you a big Hawaii guy. Fuck yeah.

Dude you are like look at me. You look sad.

Oh this is my like this but let's keep it loose brah, you know.

Yeah I go because I know it's close and then also close. Our flight. Well, it's not here, it's not like, you know, Burbank. Right, right. Yeah, but it's like closer than New York. About the same. It's exact. The same. Yeah. Yeah. It's not close. It's not close. Let me say that again. Yeah. It's far.

It's pretty far. I go far. Yeah.

And it's exotic. It's awesome. It's awesome. And I go because I. Have you been to all the islands.

I've been to Maui. The one with the Honolulu on it. The one with the Oahu, Hawaii. Hawaii. And those aren't the only ones that ok. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I go because I'm going in October do Magnum P.I. because I'm a reoccurring on that show. And so what's production going to be like because we have to OK, we haven't seen each other in a while.

I got real lucky in that from the last time I saw you, you did answer a couple of texts. That was pretty exciting. So this goes back to wanting to be friends, like I've texted you before and like never gotten text back. And then I see you and you go, yeah, I'll text you back.

And then you then you did after I called you out on it. Yeah, well, I reverted back to my own behavior. Mm hmm. And I haven't been texting people back at all. I think I burned a couple of bridges. OK, and but I've texted you back. But I'll tell you this. You can feel comfortable with me knowing that if you don't text me back. I'm sorry, man. OK, really?

Yeah. Thank you. I mean, I like I'm literally not going to text you back now. I like you.

I want to I want to do it because I want to do because I honestly believe this is check it out. So check it out.

We're like, OK, so, you know, I have to say that podcasting right.

In general has reinvented my career, I believe. Yeah.

It's you really gave my life. I really I don't know about that. You're really good at it. I just talk. You're good at it.

There's no filter or whatever part of why you talk about weird things, you know? I mean, yeah, man, I was molested and all that goes, yeah, I love it. Yeah. Yeah. And I sucked, you know. I mean. Yeah. Was that the disabled guy. High school. Yeah. I don't want to because I've said it so many times.

I know. Is that who you believe. Yeah. Everyone knows that. And you want to bring that back up. But yeah that's who it was. The guy with downtown. OK.

Yeah. Yeah. But I don't know why I keep thinking of it but you can let it go. I'll let it go. I'll let it go.

But but how old were you. Nine. Ten, eleven. I don't know. And he was like teens.

No he was in his early twenties but I don't want to refer back to it and I know what you're trying to do and it's clever. I get why people do it. It's clever. What do white people do? White people are clever. They're crafty.

They oh. Oh no.

Put on the covid-19. Huh. I just broke a fucking chair and also Bert sits here, so it's very scary. This is the first day with this chair.

Oh thank God. Thank God. I'm like, if Bird didn't do that to the chair, I'm getting fat. You're OK.

But yeah. So I'm not. I'm going.

Let's go back to crafty white people or where are we going to know. I want to get past. I don't want to go I don't want him to go into crafty white people because it's going to go back to the Down Syndrome and then it's going to I want to talk about again, OK, I'm never going to talk about ever again. OK, OK, fair enough. So anyway, podcasting has reinvented, reinvented. I know. I know.

I was just trying to. I know. And the thing is is so you know the my podcasting family. Mm hmm. I want to keep close to and I really appreciate it because I think that without you. Without Tom. Not birth. Yeah.

Oh right. Guys look alike. All white guys look alike. It's fucking racist. That's fucking racist. I literally forgot.

So without Tom Sigrun you and Brooke Ricer. Yeah. And without a colored people. I can't mention Theo Van. Um, the red. Yep. Yeah. And then also Whitney in some of this circle guys we fuck you. Yeah. And the Andy Shields and the stuff Hanano from New York. I want to keep close contact with you and because I think that you guys help me get to a place where things are a little better for me and I appreciate it.

Yeah. That's why when I was asked to fill in for Bert, I didn't hesitate.

Thank you for that. You're welcome. I mean, I'll tell you this. I've always I've told you this before. I've always enjoyed being around you. I've always been a fan of you both on stage, on screen and doing these podcasts. And I wish I wish I got to hang out with you more.

I'm serious. I've told you that every time that I've hung out with you. But I wish I could hang out with you even more. So I thank you for that. But here's the good news. What I want to hear the good news.

Yeah. You're hanging out with me more than most people, right? Right now. Yeah. So it's like I don't you know, my girlfriend my girlfriend is so mad. No, no. She just like, you know, she thinks that if I get the Koven, I'll just die immediately. Oh no, no. I'll get it in the my eyes will pop out and I'll go.

Why did she think that. Because, you know, when I get sick, I get sick, like from the regular flu or the cold, you get really sick. Yeah, and I also am a smoker and I'm not in the best health. Is your overall health poor? I have high blood pressure, so I take blood pressure medication. OK, you really pop those blood pressure like that. Always you always do it like that. What was that like?

Well, I think that I got blood and I think blood pressure medication like is that a. That thing now, it's funny. No. OK, if you go calling it out, I will address it. OK, I'll address it. OK, OK.

I think that it's OK. When I was in my early 20s. Right, yeah. I met a girl and she goes. You were born in Korea and I go, no, I've never even been there, and she's like, you have an accent. I got what? I don't have an accent. Yeah, that's an accent. I'm having an accent.

Right. What the fuck? You're talking, you know. Crazy, right? Yeah. Yeah.

So I started getting paranoid, like maybe I do have an accent, an Asian accent.

So now I see blood, you know, I pronounce it. Oh, it's and it's it's all tied to that incident to the person saying that. Well yeah. And then it's like. As opposed to how I mean. Well how would you lazily say blood pressure. Like like that, would you say in a way that some would think you would have an accent if you didn't enunciate like that, like, say, blood pressure or blood pressure? Yeah, I mean, I know, but but that lady, I would sound Asian.

Oh, regardless. Because of my eyes or whatever, I think I don't know.

Sometimes it is weird though, and I'm nothing about Asian. I'm saying any ever talk to somebody and you're in you're in a conversation and you're noting and you're you're sensing a notable accent. Right. Like they could be like, yeah. But the thing over the thing and you're like, oh, where are you from in there like Cleveland.

And you're like, no, no, no. But like where where were you born.

In there. Like Cleveland. Yeah. And you're like, wait a minute, so are your parents. And they're like, they're from Cleveland too. And you're like, what are you doing right now? Like, what is what? What's going on? And they're like, yeah, just why are you telling me I'm from somewhere? I'm like, OK, how do I sound like that?

Fuck no you don't sound like liberal figure liberal.

I sense something, something, something small. So I'll also tell you that I used to deconstructions. Yeah. Yeah. Now that would be like the unnecessary s is a tell. Someone can speak really clear English and say things mostly correct without a notable accent.

No constructions. Right. Right. But then when somebody throws an essence it's not just one construction. I'm doing a plural. I understand.

You now understand because it's like I said, a bunch of constructions. Now you're foreign to me, OK? Right, right, right, right. You got it.

OK, ok. So where are you from. Where were you born. So I was born in San Diego. Right. Seoul, South Korea.

I understand the capital. OK, so that's crazy. Where is it. Near the DMZ. Like tell me a little more.

Have you been to Seoul. No. No, I've been there. Yeah, I've been there. I did a. Along like eight years ago, I get a call from a Korean guy, yep, I got a and I go, what's up? How'd you get my number? Even though people I know people. That's what he says. And the people I know, people like. OK, so what's up? My name is Joe Whippy. You know what he is?

He's like the Puff Daddy of Korea.

Right, so he like all those, you know, BLM beats and a little BLM.

He loves BLM. Mm hmm. That's George AYP.

So we're talking about, like a producer you're talking to. You're talking about the huge pop groups, right?

The Korean pop. He calls me this guy.

Guy comes in and he goes a you do music videos and you go, what the fuck?

I go, why do the music videos? You want to do it? And I go, do what? Music video. Who are you looking at? Me Googling me says that Google I'm right and oh fuck.

This guy's legit. Mm hmm. So I call him back.

Yeah. So he flew me out there. Jesus. Yeah. So he flew my brother and I out there I go.

He goes apply what you got you I give you I give it to the grand I go and I just played high go.

What hotel. Hemostat. Whatever you want to. Right. Yeah.

So I picked it up, I went to the W Yeah. Insole because I liked it on the Internet. Mm hmm. And the next thing I know I was like in a silver costume with silver bell bottoms shooting this video. Yeah, I have silver makeup with Alien Antenna's is the video for BTE. No, it was for a girl group called Wonder Girls. Why?

Okay. Can I ask you this real quick? This is a sidebar. Why are the pop groups so significantly popular from Korea?

Is I mean, in your opinion, as opposed to, you know, like we're not hearing about about them from really other places?

It's like Korea is the spot you have an opinion on.

I do. But I'm afraid to say it. No, that's the best kind. Say it is.

No, it's. Well, you know, we're good. We're just good people. Yeah, we're good people. Come on, man.

What I know there's an interesting thought in here about from you. Just tell me. It's not a good thing what I'm about to say, but, you know, I think that there's a sense of perfectionism when it comes to Korean, like because I think that because we were oppressed as a people, you know, the Japanese are far right down here, at least favorite Asians.

I want you to give me a list. They're not my least favorite. What's your least favorite? I can't say it. I feel what I could tell you.

Why do the like. OK. OK, sorry. Could I tell you why? Yeah. Because what you're leading me down a path where people don't want to get in trouble because what happened was 15 years ago. Right. I said Vietnamese are jungle Asians. I don't mean it. Right. Right. And I didn't mean it then. Right. I just said it right. That's what we do. I know. But I said it. Yeah.

Next thing I know, I'm going to the Vietnamese news. Right. And newspapers and apologizing and crying, please. I'm sorry.

You know, OK, we get what I'm saying. I know we got past them. There's a bunch of other countries that we could talk about there, people. But I love them every Asian race.

No, you don't. I know. Let's start there. I mean, first of all, you have real reasons with the Japanese, let's get into them for a little bit. Yeah, well well, the Japanese, you know, they oppressed our people for like 50 years and they stole our rice.

Yeah. You don't steal. You don't steal the rice. That's fucked up when you steal the rice. That's fucked up. Yeah. And you know what?

Asians, we love it. We don't know what it is about it. Ah, barely. Now it's a story we actually. It's not your least favorite though. Yeah.

So what my dad you know, my dad told me a story once. I don't know if this is true or not. Yeah. But he told me one day right before I went to sleep I was maybe eight because I didn't know what Japanese used to do to us. I go, no, because I'm a kid. Yeah, and you're like eight and eight and you're like the lollipop. They used to hang quarter on by the ankles with a rope.

I go, oh, it's like a reverse, you can't die that way. Right, right. It's like a reverse hanging. Yeah, like we used to do, like for fun. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds fun. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. From a tree I go oh. But below they take a big, big pot of boiling water. Boiling water I got and I'm sleeping like this.

Yeah, you go, then they bunk in and we come on. Right. They don't get every time Laskin gone right.

And he goes, goodnight, you know. Good night, Father. He used to tell you story, and so I'm like, yeah, I didn't sleep. That's why I have a hard time sleeping.

Yeah, because, like, my dad was the opposite with a four year, you know, I did it on stage, but it was really true where I would be like, you know, when you're a kid boy, you know, use some fascination with, like, guns and things.

Right. And I would ask him these things and he'd be very like, not really.

And then I know my dad was in the Marine Corps and he fought in Vietnam. So then I was like seeing movies. And I I'd be like, what was that like? He was like, well, you know, I was lt really wasn't like blah blah blah.

Year after year I'd be like, did you kill people in war?

And he was like, it wasn't like that. When you're lieutenant, you're in charge of the platoon. And I was like, OK, yeah.

And then like the story, I was like, you know, like any stories from being in a fucking war. Yeah.

And then like like now he'll be like, you just don't understand how good it feels when you see the enemy just blown apart, you know.

And really. Oh yeah. Oh my God. He told me first of all, a few years ago we talked about throwing grenades into bunkers. And then just last week he was like, I go so throwing you know, he's like one of my guys threw a grenade and it was defective.

So it blew up and it killed him. I was like, fuck a good you ever thought?

It's like, yeah.

So what we do is we throw a grenade into like a bunker and it would shock people and then we would throw the TNT in there with like a I forget how he described it. He goes, there's no one left after that.

Like, cool.

You know, if I threw a grenade, you know, and he found, like, the shrapnel, the grenade, you know what you would find on it?

Parts of my hand. Really? Yeah, I there's no way I'd be able to throw it really explode in my hand.

I'm like, why? Why would you be able to throw it? I don't know.

I just feel like because I feel like, you know, there's a timing thing. Yeah. And because I imagine the pressure. Yeah.

Because when you do the thing right, I just feel like I'm going to be so nervous that I mean, my dad also does this thing is different than like when you were a kid, but like even now we'll meet up and then it'll be at a dinner, like a nice formal, nice restaurant or something, you know, who died. And I'll be like.

No, my cousin, like my IRA, is everything OK? Yeah, what you want to do, you want to spend Crabcake.

Really? I'm like, what the fuck are you doing?

Or he'll say, you know, that hospital near whatever highway. I'm like, yeah, it's like, yeah, there was a patient in there and they accidentally injected her with a toxic agent and she her insides melted and she died. So they're going to she's going to sue. Her family's going to sue.

Yeah. Let's get Diet Coke and crap like that. What the fuck. That's how he like, you know, just has a nice car.

But to tell a little kid about that is it's crazy.

Yeah. My my dad used to do the same thing, his uncle. Right. Cause Uncle one day just took a machete, you know, as you do mom went to his brother as you do and chopped him in half.

Really. Yes. Chopped him with his own brother.

His own brother for what was the. Because it had something to do with real estate. So I'm like, what right is he in prison.

Check it out. So check it out. So she tells me that story and then I go to the Philippines and so I'm out I'm hanging out with her family and her uncle has his arms around me. Some Uncle Sam and I go, I like this guy.

And she's like, that's the one to kill the machete guy. I go, he's out of prison. And she's like, Yeah, and I got.

You really did that. Yeah. Yeah.

And then he laugh or Yeah.

You laugh and then he would follow me around and smile like am I doing here.

I mean I'd be a pretty good and but I was so nice to him because I don't want to get shot. Yeah of course. I mean he killed his own brother like that.

Yeah. You only serve like a couple of weeks when you do that.

You know what's really wild watching some of these prison shows, Netflix has a forget one. That's pretty good. And there's a lot of people to go fuck. I forget. It's a it's a it's a it's a newer one, like inside the world's toughest prisons or something.

And there's a guy who actually will go. But a lot of people are talking about who murdered.

I guess we're just used to like murder here and like you murdered someone and, you know, some part of Russia or Turkey.

Yeah, this is it inside. And like the guy was like, yeah, they are murdered. Someone like, how long are you doing? He's like eight years.

And you're like eight years for killing someone crazy. Yeah, like really light sentences.

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Luminance watches go to fit vyn wine dotcom luminex dash giveaway to enter that's fit. Vyn wine dotcom. Luminex dash giveaway. Who enter, what about the Chinaman who ate the white guy, you hear about that? Well, we're talking about in Canada. Hmm, I'm not sure I shouldn't say Chinaman, right. Well, you can forget the Chinaman. I mean, like I said, I think it's OK for you.

Why? Why? I don't if it's OK for, you know, not OK for me, it's not OK for you.

Well, no, Chinaman is not generally accepted term these days. I know. But I think you would get a pass if you know what I'm saying.

Right. Right. So the China guy, OK, a man from a Chinese man. No, I want to say that. OK, I'm good. All right. Yeah, well, just think. OK, let's just change and then let it pass. So that guy see that guy. Yeah. He looks mentally disturbed. Yeah. Yeah. So he was on a Greyhound bus.

Mm hmm.

Oh I remember this. What happens. A guy who was just randomly walking up the aisle and decapitated somebody, they cut their head off.

No step.

There was a there was a skater kid on a bus where he was sitting next to a skater kid. The skater kid is like 20, 19, 20 years old.

And he's sleeping against a gray on the window, you know, and that's when you're sleeping on a Greyhound bus and you're leaning against the window and you're sleeping. The last thing you think is a Chinaman is going to eat.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, I mean, that's you know, you think of other things, a car accident, whatever.

Go back to that article. Yeah, right.

So I said this Chinese guy just decides, you know, it's a you know, it's a spontaneous thing on the planet. Right. No plan is killing a white kid. Yeah. Yeah.

So he just anum. Right.

And then so I guess people must have been freaking the fuck. Oh they bus pulled aside. People ran out when the cops tried to get on, you know, he had to spleen's.

How many siblings are there really to wait. Let's see, let's see some of these. This guy is a diagnosed schizophrenic. He killed McCleen, a young carnival worker who was a complete stranger. A year later, he was found not criminally responsible due to mental illness. Right. She's been outspoken, the mother, about this. But let's see, he was kept in a secure wing of a psychiatric hospital. His doctor told the board this week that he was competent.

Baker would remain on his medications and continue to work with his treatment team. You got to be fucking shitting.

She was at a mall, I heard, and she saw him. Shopping. No, yeah, yeah, if like, honestly, look at me, Tom, if anybody ate one of your kids, you'd know not be real, OK?

I want you to be real for a second. Look at me right now, man. I am looking at you. I ate your kid. Huh? Then you see me at North Tristram's. No.

Yes. Yeah. And that's the scenario. I'll kill you at Nordstrom. No, you wouldn't.

OK, you wouldn't kill me. What would I do? Why? You'd be like. I'd be like, that's the guy. I don't think you would do that.

But you would I. You would. I am right. You probably go underwear zippi or whatever it might be. Right. What is you buying. Yeah. Right.

And then you probably confront me but you wouldn't kill me. Why. In the middle of Nordström. Why. Because it's one of my kids.

I know, but if you go to prison you'd go to prison for that. Yeah. So what, what would you do. Bobby, when you if you never had a case, why don't you become a parent if somebody hurts one of your kids? Yeah, you don't really think like that. You're not you don't think like, oh, I know. I should I should think I was just testing you. I know. Yeah. No, I would kill I would like I would dismember you and I would if I could I would try to make your fucking friends and family eat the parts.

She didn't do that once. I don't know. I don't know. That's a horrible thing man.

Terrible. And it's all on the Chinese.

Yeah. I mean, they'll eat anything, huh? He did it, though, is that I don't know how we got in trouble for this. Yeah, I always get in trouble with you. I oh, you keep saying the China virus.

Are you really buying? That's what you call it.

No, no, I didn't I didn't say that. I just tried forget to say that I know no, dude, it's like, you know, did you respect any of those labels?

Kung Fu was funny when you first heard kung fu, you chuckled, you can't say that's not funny. You can't say no, that's not funny.

You can't I mean, if you're in a writers room and they're like, it's got to be like a virus that originates from Asia because pigeon is someone was like about kung fu.

Everyone would be like I'd be like, oh, no, that would be my response. Right. Yeah. So confused. Funny. But I think that when you and if you don't understand this, you're dumb. Yeah. But it's like, you know, when somebody you know who is in a position of authority.

Yeah. Yeah, is throwing words like that out, you have to understand that people like me who have nothing to do with Asia at all, I mean, I my parents are from there. Yeah. But I don't I'm an American citizen. I was born here. I don't know any I don't know any other reality. Right. That, you know, you have to understand that that kind of rhetoric will harm people that look like me that live in this country.

You have to understand that that's there's a connection there. Yeah.

And I agree. I think you're racist. You don't you're dumb. If you don't get it, that is going to fuel xenophobia.

It's going to make people, especially people who are in a lot of parts of the country that are very what a lot of white people are so segregated in this country, meaning that they don't interact a lot.

There's a lot of places where a white person will never really interact with people outside of their race or very seldom. And in in this case, if that's what they hear, they are going to see an Asian person and be like, if I can carrier right there, guy brought the virus in.

But that's crazy.

But it's going to fuel it more if you're using terms like that. Without a doubt. OK, bro.

Yeah, it's like. When I was a kid, my parents were like very like kind of racist and homophobic like that would say simple things like if you're gay, I kill you, everybody, your gay friend, everybody, whatever.

Yeah.

You mean like you would look at me. Everybody gave you every by everybody right away.

Was he worried about you being gay? Yeah. You know, so it's like and then you'd be like, why. Right.

And I would lay in bed and in everyone's life you have to self analyze and be a free thinker and you think and you go is is because, you know, back then there's no Internet.

So you're a kid and you have to think for yourselves and you kind of go, I came to the conclusion like, it doesn't matter who gives a shit if you're gay or not. It's a dumb thing. You're right. A group of people down. But like our parents generation. Yeah, but they don't need to be self analyzation and thinking things through.

Right. And having some sort of empathy. Right.

It's like when I see, you know, you know, at the end of the day, I, you know, I root for the underdog and I I've always rooted for, you know, people that are less fortunate and are, you know, and I don't like like when imperialists and people of authority fucking suppress people and bring people down. I don't like it at all. Yeah, right. So it's like and but even as a kid, I thought that no one taught me that.

Right. So why can't white people tell your other the other ones. Yeah, you have to learn how to empathize and you know, and why do people feel the way they do.

It's like the BLM thing, right? Yes.

It's like it's not a obviously all lives matter. Right. Obviously. Right.

But in in the moment. Right. A certain group of people are being killed by police officers for no reason. Mm hmm. Right. You can't put you know, but they don't. Well, and that's crazy.

I know. I mean, there's a reason like the reason you say Black Lives Matter is because it sure seems like they don't. Exactly. That's why you say riot.

But then people swung it like I know it's nothing to do with that. It's all charged up now where it's like you're looking at it and you're going like you don't. The worst one is when somebody doesn't, like, acknowledge, like at the very least, are you going to acknowledge that it's easier to be us than them? Right. Like, is it easier? And then I don't see any difference. Like, seriously, you're not going to acknowledge even that.

And there are some people some people are racist. Some people are willfully ignorant, some people really don't. I think there's a percentage of people that really don't get it. They just don't they're just well, they're just fucking stupid, you know.

But I have to say that without those moments of, like, running into those types of white people. Yeah, I don't think I would be where I'm at in my life.

So that's helped. Yeah. I remember when I, I used to work construction stunt since construction.

And so this guy, what my job was, I used to take up my pickup truck and pick up supplies for this company. Mm hmm. How old were you? I could have been twenty. Nineteen twenty. Was when your dad thought you were gay or. No, no. He always he still thinks again. Heaven he does. Yeah.

So it's just funny picture to be like everybody dead, you know, everybody.

And so when those two runners it was me and this other guy and this other guy, he called me and he goes, you know, I feel sick. Can you do my you know, I mean, so I go, OK, so I would go to his because we went to different places, like I went and got like like fixtures and like hammers and different kinds of nails or whatever. He was the lumber guy runner. And I went to a lumber mill.

And the representative the representative of the lumber mill comes out because he only he deals with the southern white kid and he looked at me and he goes, hey, where's the American runner? You know what, I didn't say anything like, oh, you said, you know, I didn't defend myself. Yeah, right. And once he said that, I got back in my car and I thought, oh, they think that I'm different. Yeah.

And it made me and it for me, it's like it's a motivator like some Asians got, I don't know.

But to you you're like, fuck.

And they go to a show and they mind their own business. And now I got to get, you know, and studied, you know, I mean, I'd be a scientist, you Bunsen burner and Mexico came together, right?

I make a million dollar or whatever. Yeah, but they stay in there.

I want to hang out with other, you know, Asia, you know. Yes, we could play mahjong or whatever they do.

But me, I'm like, no, I'm going to prove that I'm wrong, you know. I mean, I'm going to fuck his daughter. OK, I mean, you know, I mean, which would infuriate, I'm sure not no, not in a sexual predatory way, just like I'm going to like I'm not like I'm going to say the best thing is when you're with a white girl. Yeah. And, you know, especially because I had to get like a little bit of money and fame to get, you know.

I mean. Yeah, the quality. Sure. Right. Right. And I've been with the white chicks have turned to me and said I just in my wildest dreams, I just never thought I would ever hook up with an Asian guy.

Right. And had that feel. Like, I pissed in that one guy's face from the lumber mill. It felt good. Yeah, yeah. Like I won. Yeah, yeah. And I got right. Spiner Koochie. Yeah.

And I just walk away. Jesus giggling into the night. It feels good. I bet it feels real good. Yeah, feeling like sensing like with the with the construction guy. Did you I bet that never leaves you, you know, when the guy is like America. Yeah.

You see a lot of that growing up. Sure. You know, especially in my time, like these other Asian kids coming up in the business, right?

Mm hmm.

They they don't know nothing. Yeah. You know, I mean, like, what was it like for you auditioning? You don't they don't know. Like for me it's like I went to an audition once and everyone in the lobby was in a ninja outfit. Right. But not with their face. Their faces with the mask.

Oh right. It's like just hire any of them. Right. Why does it mean it doesn't matter.

And I walked in like this and they go into ninja like dude it's like there's no line. Right. Just put me in thing. Right. You like my. Yeah. And then brought here and they're like bye. And that was it.

Those are the opportunities. Did you ever have the did they ever ever audition. And they're like oh no, no, no. You say it like, you know, a little more Asian, like little little soy sauce on it, you know.

I mean. Do do do I auditioned for. King Kong, really? Yeah, if you watch King Kong. There's one Chinese guy, the Chinese guy in it. He has no line. He's just running from he's just running from the right, but people had to audition for that. So I showed up in an audition and they had a King Kong poster or a cut cutout of King Kong against a wall. And it was all the big that the Asian actors, you know, now as big stars, we were all there.

And the audition was, you have to run in a circle screaming. Right. So I go in there and I see the King Kong all scream, run to. I'm going to circle, right, yeah. And the lady goes, can you you don't seem Asian doing it right, and I go, Why? She's like, Yeah, like you don't seem Chinese doing it. So do it again. So this is what I went, I went.

I go, but it didn't get it, but you know, what's funny about that audition was when I left, you usually leave after an audition. I didn't I stayed there and listened. No, I watched. I'd like to sing the Asian actors walking out of the room. Yeah. Yeah. This is.

Why do you think, you know, I chopstick it up for us, man? Yeah, and we were seeing guys, I'm not kidding you guys that are big stars now.

Really?

Yeah, allegedly for that screamy. And the second you're watching it, you're going, wow, this is where we're at.

Yeah.

And to see, you know, it change, it's great, you know, but it's like that's what I live through. It's like a really notable shift, you know? I mean, right now we have this big social justice push in America. But I'm saying there's been a notable shift from when you started to now just in those years. Right. So notable. Right.

Because like for you, for a while, they'd be like, I don't know if you were going to work at a liquor store or you're the scared guy running in a circle.

Yeah. And now we have like Asian leads and it's OK.

It's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. I enjoy that a lot. That was a good moment and I had my head. Your hair's really long. So over the last 20 years. Mm hmm. Every once in a while, my agent will go, why don't you write a show it?

And I'll go. All right, I'll try. Yeah, so I remember one year I wrote a show about me and my me, my grandfather raised me old school Korean grandfather, and we run a hotel in space. Mm hmm. Right. So basically a way station where all these aliens understand this Korean hotel. Mm hmm. Right. And it's like it was a weird idea. Yeah. I like it. And I remember going into the, you know, networks and I go, it's a hotel in space.

And they go, thank you. And you would leave, yeah, like no interest, whatever. Yeah, and I would pitch nothing, no word, nothing, nothing at all. And this year. I just me and my friend Peter, let's just write a Korean show. We wrote one in the first place when we went to. It's about a Korean and we'll take it. She's like, whoa, whoa, you'll take a. And then we just pitched it to networks, we had all the network, most of the networks just go, we want to we want to see a bidding war.

Yeah, a couple. Yeah. And so it's like for me, it's like it's a total change. It's it's crazy. Are you going to do it the show. Yeah.

I mean we're going to do the pilot. Yeah. See figure it out. But you know, it's like you can totally tell it's totally different.

You know, it has to do I don't know, it's just. And you know. Do I feel bad for white people? A little bit. Yeah. I want my white friends to work and I want you to work rather. I mean, like, I'm happy for you, but, yeah, I'm a little bummed out that, ah, you know, rain is coming to an end.

Know it's going to shift back. It's just this is just a moment you think. Oh yeah. OK, I hope so.

And also and also don't ever forget, I refuse to change certain things, like when people go you have to call Hispanics, Latin X, la Tenex, whatever. Yeah. What is it, Latina. Latina enough. Yeah. Latina, Latina. I don't know. Even know what that is. Yeah. Well you're Latin, right? Uh huh. You want me to call you that. No thanks. You're welcome.

Yeah. Yeah. I won't know. It's dumb. It's kind of dumb. It's stupid.

It gets to a point like yeah I know I'm not going to say the N-word ever again. Right.

You know, I mean, I'm not going to say, you know, I mean, I've never no, I've never I've never said it.

I've never said. But I've never said it now I have never. But but, you know, there's certain things obviously, like saying, I'll just say it one time, OK, retard.

Right. It's terrible. What a terrible word. You know, I'm sorry. That was the last time I said it. Right now, it's not just now. Yeah.

And then you'll never say it again. And that.

No, no, that was the last time. So market anyone listening. That was the last time I say that word. What was the last two words on you here?

OK, you know, because people hear it when I want to say it.

What do you know, the Latin the thing that bothers me the most about that is it's totally an American thing. In other words, they don't say that in Latin American countries. You know, when Spanish speaking, they're not like someone's Latin.

They don't say that. They don't know it's a it's an American ry. Right.

You know, idea. Yeah.

To throw it into a language that would never write or say the word like that. Yeah, it's silly. It's silly.

Yeah. It's going to swing one way. Right. Yeah. There's always an overcorrection, the direction it's going to land in the middle. Yeah. And then we'll meet there. But you know that's why this format podcasting. Yeah. Is the last, our last stand. It's the best man you know. And you know I've people have tried to cancel me.

They have some of the things I've said in the past. Really. Yeah. And I have a message to everyone. Yeah. 99 percent of the things I say on podcast is either an extreme exaggeration or a bold faced lie.

Yeah. Yeah.

You know, it really is. It's a because for you to talk because I did one yesterday. I did one Tuesday. And these are hours long. Oh no. We talk all day long.

You can't just you know, you have to fucking make shit up baby. Right. So it's like, you know, absolutely.

It's like when somebody goes, oh, you said that on stage. So I know it's true. Like, you know, or you have a job.

You're like, that's not how that works. That's how we make shit up, make shit up to make well know everything is based on a truth. Well there might be a kernel of truth. Right, but you have to analyze the thing like just because there's a kernel of truth doesn't like that doesn't mean.

You mean the sentiment of the joke is true. Right. It's just like, you know, you observed something once and you're like, yeah, that's true that I observed that. But I took it in a direction for the joke. That is not my point of view. It's just a joke.

Right. You have to do that. Yeah. Go to work. And also, like when you watch a movie and they say, you know, this is based on.

Yeah, because if they were to do the movie the way it actually was, nobody would watch it. Yeah. You have to throw in elements, right. Make it exciting.

Oh, they're like I mean, I just watch the series that they said it said this has this this is based on a story. And then they tell you. But we have created storylines, characters, dialogue and scenarios that didn't happen in order for you to.

Yes, but they really laid it out like there's all kinds of shit made up in this. Yeah, yeah. This just has some truth to it.

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That's why I love the movie Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. Yeah, because it's like an alternate reality.

That's the Tarantino. Yeah, yeah, yeah I did.

I also feel like he's been doing, um, just alten. I didn't realize we're going to an alternate reality with that one too. Like the the Hitler. Remember the glorious bastards. And you're like, oh yeah.

If you had killed the. You don't like that. Well I mean I was like, OK, cool. I thought that was cool. And then Django Unchained is like that.

You happened there. Yeah. That's the slavery. There have been slave revolts but it's like yeah. You know, this fantasy revenge. And then with this one I actually thought it was we were going to see like a biopic on the Manson murders. And I didn't know because I didn't research. I just knew that had that topic so much in the movie. I was like, oh, we're doing another, like, spin on.

Yeah. You know, a lot of people didn't like the movie.

Some people I thought it was a really entertaining movie. I just didn't understand why it was a masterpiece, why we did the the alternate ending. Yeah, I like the ending. That didn't happen. Yeah.

It was an homage to Hollywood back in the day. Yeah. 60S and 70s. And I love the alternate reality because it was such a shock and surprise to me.

I thought, you know, that they were going to all die. Yes. I thought yeah. Yeah. For them, you know. I mean you do that to the Manson family. Yeah.

Was I laughed so hard and it's satisfying. It's so satisfying.

And this is what we all wish would have happened. Yeah, right. Because they're fucking bastards. Yeah. Just like the Nazis that died in the fires. That one of my favorite serial killers, by the way. Who? Manson. Yeah. Not one of your favorites. No, dude, it's like Dahmer or better yet in terms of creativity. Yeah, right. Ed Jean. Mm hmm. Right. He made lampshades of the skin. Yeah.

Had heads on a post. Right. What's the artist. The clown. What's his name. John Wayne Gacy. Love it.

Love it. Love it.

I hate the behavior. It's evil. Right. But in terms of serial killers. Right. Yeah.

Top top level and top level. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Killed a lot of people hate it. It's disgusting young boys.

But in terms of if I was like, you know, a dark fella inside and outside, you know. Yeah.

That I would like he would they would be one of my favorites. The clown thing is very clever. Yeah. Clever cloudbursts. Christ it is perverse.

And BTK, you know it KBB, he had the he was an alarmed and like technician. I know. So he's setting up alarm systems to careers.

She had two careers. Yeah, he did. Yeah. Yeah. Back to Algazi though, right. Yeah. How dumb is the mom. The mom, you know, Casey lived with his mom. He did, yeah, I thought you when Casey had a what?

Lived in the house right where his mother lived in his house.

Dude, check it out. Dude, he's buried four notes in the house and the mom still living there like, you know, what is that?

You know, rats, you know, Jesus Christ, what happened? What do I mean? It took a doctor. Well, let's see. No, I just he's he's such that that would be it right there. Yeah. Um. What a great headshot I went to the same photographer on my hejazi and all those murders were committed inside his house, typically he was lured by the handcuffs. I'm just trying to see 33 people fucking around. So he did have a spouse.

He two spouses. Yeah, I don't argue against that. I know.

I'm just trying to say, like. So his mother also lived there. He could get chicks, man, that's OK. His mother was a homemaker.

OK, but let's talk about. Um, maybe have it wrong? No, I'm just trying to I'm just trying to gather whether you have it right. No, I haven't been studying.

Oh yeah. Most Hosokawa just let it go and just move on to the next.

All right. You know, I mean, like your fact checking me and it's making me sweaty. I'm just curious. Right. And you're like, no, you're wrong, Bobby. And then it's like, oh, how are you? I know.

But like we were already saying that we lie and we exaggerate things that didn't seem like the type of thing we just let it go, you know? Okay.

So let's get you did that. You did that with the Chinese guy in Canada, too. What did I do? You try to fact check me and it wasn't fair that you were.

Let's see if Bobby has this right and you're reading the facts of it and I'm like sweating you. Can I just let it go, man? What are you, investigative journalist?

I'm sorry. This is the fun podcast. I'm sorry. I know. You're welcome. I'll I'll take it easy. It's fucking crazy. OK, I didn't mean to be a don't fact check me.

OK, let's go back to a Korean perfectionism. OK, go ahead. So when I asked you why these pop groups are so, so popular in Korea, they're coming out of Korea and you said this is not a popular thing to say, but I think it's oppression.

So we went to a right and we were we were going to just just just drill the Japanese for a minute.

We got a great story from your father coming. Right, right. Right. But can I just go back to the perfection part? Yeah. Yeah.

So it's like notice when a group of people and this is the theory, you don't have to Google it, you don't Google it. OK, OK. But when a people write, I feel like a group of people that have been oppressed. Right. What comes out of it is they become stronger like anything else in life. Right. You know. Right. It becomes stronger if you don't kill it. Right. And I think the body does that too.

Yeah. Resilient. You become resilient. And but what also comes with it is humor.

Because like the Jews, they were also oppressed. Yes, I hear. Mm hmm. And and the Koreans and like I've always equated to comedy in L.A., right? Yeah. The initial comics, you know, and now you have a variety of different comics. But in the beginning of this new generation of I mean, the generation of Asian comics you had, Johnny Jung was, you know, Korean Margaret Cho.

I mean, me there was a bunch of Koreans doing I think a lot of Koreans are in comedy because we're a people from an oppressed group. That makes sense.

Yeah, yeah. And and so that's number one. So I think that they're the reason why we have so many pop groups and stuff like that is because maybe it has something to do with that. We were oppressed and we want to prove to the world that we're like, great, OK, you know, yeah, we do that.

We do that with films as well.

By the way, films, you know, the Korean filmmaking is out of control. I do like well, I just watched the gangster, the cop and the devil. Oh, that's a good one.

That's a good one to go on. Yeah. You see, I saw the devil. I saw the devil. I don't know if I saw the devil. It says I saw the devil type in. I saw the devil. Let's see. Is this recent? I know it's like one of the, um, gives the old boy, yeah, so it's actually the same guy that was an old boy is in this, but he plays a serial killer.

Oh, wow. And it's good. It's a masterpiece. Oh, I'll see. What is it? This is a masterpiece.

You see it on iTunes or can you read it or is it your money ok.

Yeah. You have money. I only do honestly. It's like that. Is that the Hispanic in you? I was asking like which place you can look at.

I come in here. No, listen, dude, I come in here. You got 15 people. Kids in here.

Go whatever you want, Mr. Thompson, or whatever they do. We suck your dick. We suck your dick or whatever.

Yeah. Yeah. You could just go, hey, get me the movie.

Hey, guys, give me that movie, OK? Yep, you got it. See, that's what I'm saying though.

Yes. Don't be like, oh, you know, I'm struggling a little bit. I mean, the pandemic somewhere. Can I, can I watch it on YouTube and fuck you.

All right. OK, that felt good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's truth. All right. Yeah, yeah.

So I saw the devil is a good one. OK, give me another. Yeah. Write this down.

So and anyone listening right now you should watch. Obviously the greatest movie I think the Koreans have ever made is old boy. Oh boy. Yeah, yeah.

And then, you know, I saw a horror movie just recently called Metamorphosis. That was kind of fun. Mm hmm. I saw what I saw the harvest, that one.

Oh, that was really good. Um, I just saw another one of the burnt orange heresy. That was that was way better than I thought it was. I saw that that was. Yes. And the it's one of those movies where when you see the poster you like, I don't see that like the poster is not like it's just a little like Korean, like.

No, it's not. I know we're talking about different movie.

Oh. So this morning we know, we're talking about we were but then we talked about great movies. Right. Did you list only Korean movies?

Well, we were on the screen, but we got away from. No. Yeah, we want to curl Korean one then you're like burnt orange Heriot-Watt. All right. Parasite's cool.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, OK. And then now let's talk about other movies.

Say that. OK, now you say it. You're the host. Let's talk about other movies. Go in there. Burnt orange hair. Yeah. Well what is it. Koreans. What is what is it.

OK, so I it's the best part of this movie is that I feel like. Most movies suck because they just follow blueprint's like they just you know, if you if you give a script that you write to a producer or whatever, they'll go, oh, yeah.

But now we need this to happen in this to happen because that's how these that's how a story is told. Like, they'll just follow.

And then if you watch a trailer you can be like, oh, that's and it's it's like 30 other movies you've seen.

There's clichs is what you're saying.

There are cliches, but they're also just following a format, a format. And the story is like this is where he'll have conflict. And then here's the resolution and it should go A.B.C. like this.

What I liked about the burnt orange heresy was that it didn't follow the like the of course there's conflict and an ending, but it's so unexpected. It's like why movies that really stand out that I like when you see Parasite the first time, if you know nothing about it and you see what you're constantly being like, holy shit.

Right. Because you've never seen a story like that.

There's the the the concept, the execution, like the thing that we're all looking for, I think in cinema. And when you watch, we is surprised.

You want to be surprised or like the reason everyone's got kicked in the fucking balls when you saw a get out wasn't just the social commentary, was a big part of it.

But you're like, this is such a crazy concept. It's a you know. Yeah, yeah. So there's there's such a lack of, like, original story ideas.

Like when I watch a movie and I think to myself, I can't believe they got funding for this. Yeah. Is a good thing. Exactly right. Well, I can't believe they made this. How did he get this man. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I love that as well. Yeah.

Tom So metamorphosis was is a horror one though you said. Yeah, it's cliche. Oh it is. OK, yes. Let's let it go. All right. Well now let's look it up so. Yeah. Yeah.

OK, let's look it up. Look it up. Yeah.

Are you constantly watching Korean movies. What I'm asking, do look at me right now, bro. Yeah, this is what it's like, hey, man, where's the American one?

That's what that's like. Hey, man, where's the America look? Yeah, that's exactly what I know it wasn't, bro, let me say something. OK, yeah, that's the movie. Yeah, it's called Metamorphosis and it's a if you like, Exorcist, it's kind of like that.

Do you have any other Korean like must see movies? Because I really do love the movies that I'm seeing from Korea because I want to put that on my list.

Um. I mean, you've I mean, I think all the ones that I've said, like in terms of monster movies, the host is great. The host. Yeah, it's a monster movie. Yeah.

OK, I think another you remember a scene out of the host. It's a great monster movie. OK, I think the same guy that did parricide.

What about is there any other. And then there's one called Train to Pusan. You see that put both of these unless we never saw a train to Pusan. No, I want to see the whole. You never saw a train to pull the train because. What about bulgogi? No, no.

Forget no, there's no such thing. Those are things. Bulgogi. Yeah.

I mean, it's just I know Korean. I know I'm trying to keep it in the fucking family, you know.

But there's a movie called that. OK, dude, Trampas Giberson is one of the best zombie movies ever made. Right. It got like 98 percent. Oron Tomato's it's a masterpiece.

You have to watch this tonight.

I'll watch it tonight. Can you give it to me? You give me your copy in the car.

Yeah, I know you have a copy on you.

And anyway, I'm going to let it go. I'm not going it up, but they made a sequel that's coming out in about three or four months. I'm struggling right now. So please, if you're not happy, you're not. I know.

I know what you're worth. OK, OK. So exactly. Let's move on. We want to move on from that. OK. All right. Because I've been to your house. You want to move on from that. All right. Don't play that. OK. OK. And you know what?

I want to own up to my shit. You know, when people go, you know. You know, what do you know? I struggled for a very long time. Yeah.

And I'm almost say happy, but happy birthday because I like to keep birthdays coming up. Well, actually, by the time it comes out, you just had a birthday. Your birthday was four days ago. Yep. Happy for you. Thank you. Birthday. Thank you.

So I'm 49. Wow. And I struggled for a very long time in my career. I went in and out. But, you know, let's own up to, you know, the podcasting and things are fruitful and it's been good for us. Yeah. You know, I'm very humble and, you know, and I'm I'm grateful for everything that I have. But let's do that. Let's not go. Hey, can I can afford this movie?

Can you help me out? All right. All right. I, uh. It's foolish. I know.

I feel very fortunate and I feel very grateful and thankful to be in the position I'm in. But I feel like if you have an extra copy in your car, you should hook it up. Yeah.

If you have, like, one of those key zip folders, you know, that has DVDs of all your favorite Korean films, you could just lend it to me for a fucking week or I'll do it. All right.

If sometimes I don't know. I mean, there's part of me that regret. Yeah.

Yeah, I know. I want to ask you this question.

Go ahead. Am I getting you know, because I go on the Internet and they go I don't listen to Tiger Belly or bad friends because Bobby Lee is a bully. People say that about you.

I didn't know that. Yeah, but do you think I'm a bully? No, I do not. I do not think you're a bully. Like, how the fuck am I? A little like also there's so much noise on the Internet that you could find.

You can literally find just hear me out on this of the podcasters of the circle of comedy podcasters. You could probably find a comment saying that every single person is everything a bully, uh, you know, whatever a lazy person, an asshole like you would probably find that about everyone. So you can't you can't just be I mean, is there a big movement about you being a bully?

Like people are saying it a lot? Yeah, I've read it before.

Like, I've read it maybe twenty times from different variety of sources.

People are accused of bullying.

People think that bully garstin. They think I bully Andrew Santino. They think I bully what? Yeah, they do. They think that I like the people that work for me because I don't think that people like the fact that I'm the boss. Well, people like that, you're the boss. Yeah, Tiger Belly. Yeah, because, you know. I'm fine. OK. No, because because, you know, when I'm there, I know that, you know, the you know, when you're doing a podcast, when like if you're doing a podcast, you know that I'm essential to this podcast.

Right. I'm not expendable. Right. Right. So you can flex some sort of like way.

Right. But I do everything in a joking matter. Right. So I say call people names and this and that. But people have to realize that, you know that.

And this is going to be I'm going to say it everything derives from trauma. Mm hmm. OK, my dad used to beat the shit out of me, all that stuff.

I was very traumatic. It was very traumatic experience.

So everything, you know, the way I behave is a defense mechanism. Right. Right. And it's all because of the way I was raised. Sure. So, you know, when I was a struggling comic and I was coming up, I kept quiet and I let people bully me around and tell me what to do because, you know, I open for Mencia and Pauly Shore.

And back then, you know, they were hard, you know, mean like, did you know that I did, you know? I mean, and like Carlos Abreau, you know, you go to fuck, you know, not doing it right. And people like, what would he tell you doing wrong? You just put me in a closet. Well, yeah, you know, we know we go on the road and I used to sleep in Albert's closet.

Come on. Yeah, yeah. Like he wouldn't he didn't get me a hotel room once. He put me in a closet. So I had, you know, hotel closet, I slept in there, you guys realize how good you have it with me. I know. Yeah, you know, or like I did that Kerry has golf clubs. To the airport, you know, and stuff like this, like hazing shit, though, I mean, I feel like I do it's like in you know, you can say what you want about anybody.

And I still say to them that without Carlos Mencia and Pauly Shore, yeah, I would not be where I am today. I understand they fucking help me out so much and I'm so grateful for their help.

Yeah, I really am. And I tell them that all the time when I see them. I am grateful whether you how you feel about them or not. You know, they there are things that they did for me that are priceless. Yeah.

I believe that like for instance, you know, the agent that I have now is through Mancia back in 95. I understand the agent or your everything. Every agent. Yeah. What's their name. Your name is Matt Blank. I know Matt. seeI I know he was my first agent. Yeah.

So he you know in ninety five Mancia you know introduced me to Matt Blake was my agent at Gurche. Yeah I was that. Yeah. We were actors together. Yeah. And then he left. He left. Yeah. And I didn't even get a call really.

They're just like your agent. Let me. Yeah. Yeah he took me Gabriel DeVito. Now he wishes he took me believe.

Oh now he does. Yeah. Yeah, yeah he does. Yeah.

No yeah yeah. We, we still, we're still buddies though ok. He's you know he's good. Yeah. Yeah. But so you know I have to say that out loud because I know it's not funny but you know Paulie, I love him and I love Carlos. I want to say that. Throw that out there. That's a good one.

Yeah. I want to know if you would tell me more bedtime stories from your dad, because that was really great.

Well, you know, my dad used to make up wives tales. Mm hmm. No old wives tales or I mean, I've heard the expression before. Yeah.

So what is the wives tale, you know, like what white people say to their kids when they look at the TV Tupelo's, like you're going to go blind if you.

Right. Right. So my dad would go if you watch TV, the clothes grandpa going to die, I swear to God he would do that.

Right. And I'd be like, yeah, but he's dead already because you did it.

You killed him, you know, like you would make you laugh like, holy shit.

Yeah. And like, you know, they should have, you know, when immigrants come to this country. Yeah. They should have like a book, you know, to you know, this is how you sing the Christmas songs, right.

Because he didn't grow up with them. Right.

Right. So then, you know, you have American kid that he grew up rough and my dad was a street kid.

Oh, wow. He was a gang kid. He was a boxer. He balked, amateur used to fight in the streets, he was like Bauza when he fucked up, he fuck you up? Oh yeah, he was like the Kimbo slice of Korea. Really? Yeah, like he would, you know, and and I've talked to, like, friends of his that grew up, you know, your dad was a fucking asshole.

He beat everybody, women.

You don't give a fuck, you know, to my dad. Dude, I saw my dad. You know what my dad did? My cousin.

What? Dude, bro, how are you excited?

Because I have to kind of get some space. OK, dude, so what I was what I used to have my own with a knife.

But anyway, that's later. We can't let that one go. Yeah. So. All right, I'll go to the end.

OK, so we you know, we had these every Sunday. We would go to run as a kid.

We my parents would play tennis and we would go to round table pizza. OK, and it was Sunday on a Sunday. Right. And Round Table Pizza had a little kid. So we would love to go because my parents, my dad, my uncle would give me quarters. We play video games, but one time we went round table pizza and my aunt was there and, you know, they would get drunk. And my aunt just goes, I don't know why she said that.

She she goes, she looks at my mom. She goes, I don't know, why are you in Korean? I don't know why you marry her. She ugly.

Your answers said that to my mom about my mom in front of my dad and my dad goes high and stabbed her in the neck with a knife at round table.

It was a butter knife, so it kind of nicked her liver.

Yeah. What else do you know, how did that play out, Klymenko screaming out and he was like, shut the fuck up. That was a hole. That was my dad in a nutshell. OK, tell me this, though.

But he would always laugh when he would go do so, when he laughed like that violence was happening.

Really? Yeah. So, oh, my cousin is a crazier one. OK, I want to I want to say I want to hear the cousin. OK, don't let that go. OK, but let's park at round table pizza for a moment ok.

Yeah. Your aunt makes this joke.

Your father grabs like a butter knife, jabs her in the neck. Chaos ensues. And then like do you remember getting in the car and leaving, like, dismember? You know, I don't think my dad went.

I think my mom. I was in the car.

How did your mother react to it? My dad was like, because my dad, you know, stayed behind to do apologies and stuff.

So I think I recall just being in the car ride by and driving away.

What would your mother say about the incident?

She would just be. She wouldn't say anything, she would just be angry that he did. My mom and I are not real, OK? You know, she she's she's she was up there, so she she she was in it, she was like she was in it. This dude does shit like this basically. Yeah.

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So my cousin back to my cousin. So we had a cousin named Tongyeong Dong-Young. Yeah. And you know, what can I say. Right. Yeah. Tongyeong don't kill. Yeah. You know what that translates to. No shit brother. Shit brother. Yeah. Yeah. I never even knew his real name. He was just home ok. He was a mopey guy.

OK, and this is your is it your fathers siblings child or your mother's siblings.

Just my father. A sibling child. OK, a boy or girl. Yet there's no woman by Tongyeong brother or your brother or sister. OK, all right. Sorry, man. Oh, it's fucking an eight year old girl. What the fuck? Oh, sorry. So Dong-Young was in high school and we had we had moved to Minnesota. Right. And then we moved back to San Diego.

So my dad hadn't seen Tongyeong since he was a kid. So we walked into my uncle's house and dong-young was in high school. You know how high schools are. Yeah. And my dad hadn't seen him. So we walked into the lobby of this house and Tongon was walking up the stairs and my dad goes, was happy to see him, you know, man, and don't wanna go see what's up because are rebellious.

Yeah. And just walked into his room. My dad that that was that, that was a dis like a major diss.

Yeah.

So my dad a come down here you know. Yeah. It looks out of room down here.

Dong-Young comes down, mother goes, you know, that's dangerous, who grabbed this, had more tie kicks.

Fifteen times is blood, it blood everywhere, right, and just because it's not me, you know what's happening to me, right?

Are you serious? What is that happened to me? So I'm going. He's kneeing them in the face.

More time motorcades. Dude, that was like what it would be we grew up with. OK, hold on. Yeah.

So as with the other story, I'm most interested now in the aftermath of that. Like somebody does that in the home.

How does everybody I remember my mom was being fand. Right, being fanned by a what at the pool to your swimming pool chair. Yeah, what do you call them? Yeah, like a lounge, a lounge chair and aunts crying, fanning my, you know, mean because she's like my husband.

My dad is with my uncles in a room and they're just arguing and he's like, why should be be defending myself. And then Tongyeong is. Covered in blood? I don't know, just just out, yeah, and then going, what do we do? Call the ambulance?

That kind of thing. Holy shit, he healed up is fine.

So your dad's temper was fucking serious. Dude, my brother. And my poor brother. My poor brother, one time my brother had a friend, a black friend, Kid Anthony. Mm hmm. And, um, my brother was like, I got this Casio keyboard.

Anthony is a gamma yet spend the night so and then spends the night and is playing this cat two to to to tell her that my brother might be 11 to like to toot, toot, toot, toot all your push the door open.

My dad completely naked. Completely naked. Right, Anthony? Right, what the fuck, right? My dad takes the Chebaa, slams it on my brother's fucking back keys are flying all over the place. But here's a thing what we discovered. He turns around. There's toilet paper sticking out of his asshole Jesus. Right, right. And that's when we knew about his anal leakage.

He had serious anal leakage and I have it not to. Hmm. Yeah, because is it genetic? I think so, but I don't do the toilet paper. What do you do to let us let it go? Just oozes out. Yeah, I like she hates cleaning.

Clela hates cleaning my underwear. Oh, my God. Yeah. Because there's all these stains and stuff.

A lot of bad stains. Do you ever put like a tampon or pad and there something. No, I don't like it feels uncomfortable when I'm walking around, I know it's there. I think you should put a pad. No, I don't. I don't think so.

I think you should. I think that I should do what my heart says and my heart says I want to be free.

And it's not like the mask and have, like, this thing under way.

Yeah, but it's like you're going to get a stain fucking tampon when you're down there.

Yeah, but this way you're I'm trying to argue this point. Yeah. Yeah. It's a losing argument. Yeah. Yeah you're right. I'm not going to do it. I can do it. And is it a lot of leakage. Like on the car white, I almost didn't make it today. Let's just say that. Really? Yeah. I'm still like and if you see my underwear right now, if you see me on right now, you would be like, I cannot believe you showed up to this.

Is that brown bear?

I mean, when I when I came in here I go. I need to go to the bathroom immediately. You have one, please. And so that that's that'll give you you made a big brown in there. I wouldn't say big is not the right word I would use. What would you say? Uh, yeah.

Do you a bad stomach? Well, I've been trying to eat better because in this pandemic, I gained like 15 pounds. You did? Yeah. And so on this last week, because, you know, what I did was, you know, because Khalilah won't let me go to the grocery store or why? Because she doesn't trust me. So we get everything delivered. Oh, right. Right. So, you know, I get I got an old belly, know, Cordelia's it's an app and you can get foods from all over the country and they deliver to your house.

I've heard about this. Yeah. So I get like deep dish pizza from Chicago or I'll get like potpies from North Carolina. But yes, I get like things delivered to my house. So you've been eating like you've been in real good stuff. You know, I get like pork, you know, loins from Indiana, like tenderloin sandwiches and it's great. How much does it cost? Pretty expensive. But you know what it's like my. Because since I can't go to restaurants.

Yes. It's like my little thing.

And then you can you can get your Dunlap can you can you send me a sample. You have more money than I do know.

And I'll just say that out loud right now when Tom is saying, can you get me the stuff, I'll just let you know it's coming from a guy that has more finances.

You know, so it makes you look shitty, keep the semi a sample, I won't because you can do it. Can you send me? Maybe I'll do it.

Maybe I'll do a nice return gift, you know, after you give me my first wicked what you're doing.

I don't like it. I don't know you like it. I love you.

You know, dude, I mean, you know, I'm telling you, I told Christie this that that you know what you did for me.

And I keep bringing it up every time we talk with each other. But I have to reiterate it. You don't have to do that.

You want me to know? You know, to do that is that we use. Is that what that is? No, no.

I'm saying I've said it before. I think I think I just think I honestly like I can't because I had no idea who you were.

Yeah. Before that really. I didn't know who I was or any of you.

Yeah. No, it's weird. Sometimes you don't like sometimes like Tim Dylan. I had no I just discovered him six months ago.

Well I mean I don't know anybody. Yeah. I mean all of a sudden you have to know these people. Yeah.

It's a period of discovery for people coming up through and then you've got to go, oh, you Google it and you go, oh, they're doing good. Yeah. You know, but I knew Michael Rapaport was because of the movies. Sure. But like, there's some people that you don't know, but, you know, you meet like it's so funny because when I had never knew who Andrew Schultz was. Yeah. At all. Never even heard of them.

But then I was hosting. Montreal, I'm one of the dirty show, you know, so and Jimmy Carter and Andrew, but Undershot was there leaning against this metal pole in the backstage because, hey, man, I'm Andrew. And I didn't know who he was. But then as soon as I saw him perform, yeah, I go. Holy fuck, this guy is legit, he's killing it, I mean, he's killing it with the jet with so like his youth, like his monologue, you know, he does like those commentaries and absolutely kills it.

Man And then how I met Krista Stephano was I did Opie and Anthony once. And Chris was just good looking white guy sitting next to me. I know where he was. And then we had omelets afterwards. Yeah. And then I saw him perform and I went, oh, he's legit, dude.

And ironically enough, today's 9/11 his 9/11 stories, one of my fuck.

Have you ever seen that? Now I'll Google it when you leave here. Look it up. Yeah. He tells from it's I think it's a seller set what happened to him on 9/11. And it's it is such a great story.

Yeah. For me, it's like, you know, once I see, you know what you can do. Mm hmm. I'm in. Yeah. I don't get threatened.

I don't see when I see dudes that are really funny, like I'll be honest dude, you guys are way better standup than I am.

Yeah, I'm not that prolific, you know, I'd like to write more, but I do the same jokes over and over when I watch you and even your wife and other guys like Andrew or Santino or Shults or DeStefano and any of you guys, I literally go, wow, they're better standards and I don't get threatened by it. See, my thing is, is I believe that if I just hang out with the best in the business. Yeah.

And also nice guys. I know guys that are really good, but they're assholes and you can hang out with them. But I hang out with guys that are like our have good hearts but are the best. I don't get threatened, I don't give a fuck. I think I want to get better. Yeah, I'm with you on that. I think it's a really healthy disposition. Yeah.

I think it's, I think it shows like your security in yourself, you know, I mean like your you not feeling threatened to me is just like that is a that's an evolved mature as immature as you are, that's a that's a mature, evolved little point of view, you know, like you're your child, you're like a you're you're like a fucking toddler with, you know, bigger clothes.

But the fact that you don't feel threatened by other people I think is a huge endorsement to you and your character, even though most people would be like, yeah, I can kill me with this moron. Uh oh, shit.

I think you're very funny, though, I really like you. He didn't like that at all. And even a little bit. I honestly pissed me off and I'm fucking pissed.

Which part, because you're making it into a joke. I'm not making a joke. Yeah, you are. You're you know, you're trying to give me a compliment.

I was handed bullshit. It wasn't backhanded. And it's something that you maybe probably believe. No. Yeah. And it's a bitch to be direct. I am being direct. No, you're not. You're being fucking white. You're right. By the way. I'm white. Yeah. Right now you are. You're acting like. What did I do. Acting like you. What did I do.

I'm saying you. So basically you're trying to give me a compliment saying, oh, dude, like, you know, you're in a healthy spot. You're not threatened. You know, that's grown up thing. Right? But then you're throwing in like, you know, normally you're a child and dumb and nobody thinks that you're like an adult, but everybody thinks so.

You you really so OK. All right. All right.

Because I thought we're at the tail end of it. We are not. We're not. We're not. We're absolutely not now. OK, we're absolutely not OK.

I'm like, oh, we're going into the good place. This is the. No, it's not. It's fucking bullshit.

Right. So what you're saying is, you know, it's so funny, Tom, it's your rhetoric. And when you throw things out there like that, you know the way it sticks because you have a big audience, you have big influence. Yeah. And it sticks with people. Right.

And then all of a sudden they have a skewed vision of me and they think that I'm irresponsible and child like child like, OK, because I have a dowi baby like body or whatever.

Is it because I'm Asian? Is that how you treat others? You fuck, right? First of all, you know, believe it or not, you're right. Yeah, I play a lot of video games. Gary, what do I do? Well, it's how you normally go to bed like 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning. What do you usually wake up 2:00 or 3:00 p.m.? Right. Do we need to say you love hot dogs?

OK. Yeah, but I was giving you a huge compliment. I'm serious. The best comedians that I've ever been around are ones with your perspective. I think it's the healthiest, but it's also the best. Comedians are the ones who don't feel threatened by strong openers I've seen.

I mean, I'm saying this is this is the healthiest perspective one can have is the one that you have about feeling like when you're around other good comedians, it's good for you. I feel the same way, men. I feel the same way. I want to be around great comics.

And I was I was trying to give you a cab and I was trying to take a, you know, a little playful jab at the fact that you are the child.

The other I'm going to say the most truthful thing I've ever seen in my life. I don't know what I'm doing. In anything. I literally wake up and I go, here we go, let's try, you know, but I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know what I'm saying right now. I don't know why I'm at the place that I'm at, but it is my reality. But at the end of the day, like, honest, I just wake up and I go, let's do the best you can with this great alloted, you know?

So, you know, if you think that that's child like, oh, boy. And if you know honestly, if you think the child like and I need to like, you know, grow up. Yeah. Or to read a book or whatever. Yeah. Or to learn stuff, you know, so be it. But my message to people like you. Yeah. Yeah. You know the oppressors of the world really are.

The oppressors of the world, one day I'll have my day. OK? And one day I will have my victory dance, and you people like you are the ones that will be suffering, OK? You're literally, literally verbatim. And now it's at 120. I know. And that's the last thing I want to say. Well, that's what the guy on the bus said before he ate that cut. That poor. That's it. The China, the guy from the bus, the Chinese man on the bus.

We said exactly that. One 20. Could you could you at least do a little art, could you do a little wrap up here with me one? I just taken off when leave. Thanks for coming by. Do you want me to wrap? I mean, be nice. Thanks for the opportunity. You want me to do extra? Extra, do like a little, you know.

OK, thank you for having me. I mean, come on.

But we're glad you did. Yeah. And I do it back. I know. And that's the magic of podcast. That's fun, right? Fun. You attack me, right. I reverse you reverse it on me. I reverse that on you. I, I was hurt by you calling me in a presser. Yeah.

I was hurt that you call me. I'm a child. I don't think that that hurt you because it did hurt me. I think you know you are and I think I know, I think you know that you have power and you're an oppressor and you like doing it. Look at all the people. I have two people working for me. You have 15 people working for me. What do you think that is? Oppression. Why is that oppression and employing you?

Did you just like telling people what to do?

That's not true. That's fine. Ask these people you're a good guy.

I already told you the story about what we did when we did.

Oh, I know, but do you really not think of yourself as kind of a manchild? Yeah, I do. OK, it's I love it. OK, I enjoy it and I love it.

But you admit there's some oppression that you do. It's the best feeling.

I love. I love. I love that we're getting.

Now, this is actually our first day on this new set. Do you like it. Do you like the table you like. I love the table of the chair. I honestly like. It's so funny because there's probably four people in my life that I would do a podcast with. You're one of them. Really. Now I'm too busy.

But if I'm in a world, you know, I mean, I think that you and I would have worked well together.

We could have. Yeah. I think something happened one day. Fantino Yeah.

Yeah, no, because then something would happen to have happened to him because I don't want to because. Yeah, something can happen. I want to say that I could have done one.

There's only you I could do with. I could do it with the mom and the red. I'm doing it one on one. Yeah. I mean but those are the only ones in life. Are you having fun doing bad friends with Santino. Is anything fun with him. I know. I know. Ask yourself that. Is there anything, is anything fun with that guy. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think like would you if somebody said OK, yeah.

But you think he's a bad guy though. I think that he needs some reminders. You know, and that's why I think I am in his life, to remind them, like, check yourself. You have rage. Yeah, check it. Where's his rage stem from? Because he's read. Yeah. You know, redheads, they have that deep rage. Yeah, they do. You can't even manufacture that. Yeah. And I don't like touching them.

Yep. I remember when my first kid was born, it came out with red hair and like it wasn't like full, but it was like you saw hints of it. And I remember the the doctor turned to me and she goes, oh my God. And like, I go, oh, I don't I don't want them.

Yeah. It's like, yeah, what is that, red hair. And she's like, just a little bit. And I was like, cut it off.

She goes, you don't get to a newborn. I don't want it like that. Oh really. Yeah. Yeah. We did a haircut right there. Really. Yeah. Yeah. I said I'm not taking that. Oh wow. Yeah.

Yeah. You can't do that with Andy. Andy. Oh he loves it when you call him Andy by the way.

Andy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well now everybody knows. Yeah. So everyone knows. Yeah. Column in column. Andy he loves it. Yeah. And do something about that rage. Yeah. You're seeing them fight or hit somebody or something. Oh he's been, he's throwing things at me.

He has screamed at me and to you that feels but I think I deserved it. Oh you do. Yeah. What were you doing. Give me one of your fights or antagonism. What do you do. Why Komansky? Yeah, just that he needs it and he'll throw some others a couple of things I can't say on this podcast. Yeah, I there's a couple of things I'll tell you off screen. OK, I know a couple of things.

If I say it, he will literally stab me for it, for sharing it. No, if I say it, rhino's face, there's a couple of things like a stare right in his face and say it right and do something and he will fucking snap.

Let me just see if they give me the glasses real quick. Yeah, I just want to see let the audience vote on whether I should get something like this. I think he looked up. I mean these feel right. Yeah. You looked up. You got these in Maui. Yeah. You can get anywhere. I know. Not that expensive. They're not know to you know.

I mean that's a big flag right there. Guy's got good should he's like, I'll get to 125 now. But like, I got to get the fact it's not that, it's just that, you know, when you say I'm a man of my word, OK? And if you're a man of your word, you said 120. You ready? Rap. Yeah, OK. Thank you for having me. OK, ok. I really appreciate it.

Can can we do it again sometime or any.

Time and anytime. Once a month. Once every month. You everyone invite me on your podcast. No pressure. Nope. No pressure. No. We've done it in my glasses. Is this a gift, a gift? No. Appreciate the gift.

Give me o8. Send me a meal. Send me a meal, OK? And I'll give you a glasses. OK, so that was really fast and what was it right? What was the price? I can't tell you in my glasses. Peter Luger's sent me just like a porterhouse to get out. Need to go in. All right, just so you know, Bobbie Lee. Oh, yeah. So check me out. Bobby Lee, live, hyperbole, hyperbole and bad friends on the podcast.

Bobby Love is the website. Bobby Lee Live is my Twitter or my website.

And I also make note that this show, the last time you'd ever hear him say the R word or the N word, he's never doing it again. He's I never said the N-word word. You said it earlier today.

I said N-word. I know you said it. No, I didn't. And I said the other one. I said, that was the last time I'm going to say it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you won't hear it again.

But you can loop these and make videos of him saying them and just enjoy it more in the future.

Thank you, Bobby, I love you. Thanks for coming, buddy. Burt, Tom, Tom and Ward one goes topless while the other wears the shirt. Tom tells stories in the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep clean. Here's what I. Because there's a. No scrapes, a bit of booze, amateur pathology, dirty jokes, raunchy humour, no apologies. Here's what the call was on, Katie.