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[00:00:02]

Thanks for listening to the Adam Carolla Show on podcast one. Well, first half, we have to catch up on what we were doing on vacation, I was cleaning and I was racing. So we'll tell you about the trials and tribulations of all that being involved as well. And first thing about JB Weld, DIY projects, when I get through a few of those bad boys, might I suggest J. B Weld can avoid paying the repairman. You can avoid the guy showing up at your house with dirty boots on big or small repairs, home or garage, ordinary household glue.

[00:00:40]

Well, it's got the word ordinary in it. You don't want that. You want better than ordinary. You want JB Weld or proud sponsor of the show. They've been great. I know the owner and know the company met these guys at Seamount, which got cancelled this year. But JB Weld, still going strong, been around for over 50 years. And it's proudly the products are proudly made in the USA. That should mean more than ever these days, JB.

[00:01:07]

Well, that man, keep it in your tool box, your kitchen drawer, your craft room, and it's available. J.B., Welcome Home Depot, Lowe's, AutoZone, advance auto parts, O'Reilley, Wal-Mart, Amazon, Micheal's and more. JB Well. Hey, hey, hey, this is NFL Hall of Famer Ray Lewis. I'm excited to announce the launch of my new podcast Every Day Greatness, the Ray Lewis podcast. I'll be talking with friends, family members, old teammates, athletes, celebrities, moguls.

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And guess what? I'll be talking to you.

[00:01:44]

Listen, this is all in the search for everyday greatness. So I'm asking you to come along with me on this. Right. Download new episodes of Everyday Greatness, the Ray Lewis podcast every Friday on Spotify, Apple Pie, Cats and old podcast, one dot com.

[00:02:06]

It's not what you have. It's what's inside of you that actually inspires greatness. And from Caroler One Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla Show, Adam's guest today, Rob Schneider with Genographic on News& Ball Bryant on sound effects. And now back from his second favorite, CIGA, Laguna Seca. And if you know the first, you watch too much porn. Adam Farole, yeah, get it on. Got to get it on, no choice.

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Are going to mandate you get it on, man. Thanks for tuning in and thanks for sharing. We rely on you.

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Good day, Gina Grande. Good day to you. And Ball run by luck. Yeah.

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Rob Schneider is going to be zooming in soon. We'll get you guys caught up on vacation week.

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I had my my vacation weeks have a lot of range because the beginning part of them is me cleaning the shop. That's the beginning part is literally all the stuff I can't get to. So what might feel like a vacation week is like an extra crappy cleaning week for you all to yourself.

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I do accident relaxin. You know, the thing about cleaning I've found is as certainly as it pertains to the shop, but even even my bathroom, everyone always goes, let someone else do it, let someone else do it.

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And it's like, well, OK, except for it just doesn't work out that that well, there's a track record on that.

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There's still cobwebs everywhere by the front door. It doesn't you can't express to somebody. Here's what I really need you to do. Plus there's a whole organization part.

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There's ways to bother you, like, you know, like, I don't know, unloading the dishwasher, for example. I'll never be quite the way you want it to be.

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I it's a bad example cause I don't like to use the dishwasher, you know what I mean? There's like some something like I appreciate the effort very much, but it's not how I would do it.

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Yes. And or when somebody what I've found is people don't really clean and organized, they just move stuff aside and sort of pile it into a drawer. And then that's when you get the Chapstick with the double A batteries. And now you're apt because I found that almost everyone works off of shape's not off a function. So the Chapstick will end up with the double A batteries because they're the same size. Obviously, one has nothing to do with the other.

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But at some point during the organization process, that's what happens. Anyway, I came over here with the intern Ryan and we just cleaned. That's all we did was, you know, he was scrubbing and I was organizing. And that's that's what we did for the first three days. I was also prepping my car and the trailer and everything to get out to Laguna Seca, the goodness sake, they canceled the Monterey weekend, the big car weekend.

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They had this sort of drivers appreciation race that took place the week before. I'm not sure what they were doing, but it was basically no crowd, no vendors, no all the hoopla that normally attends this thing, maybe 100000 people with tons of vendors and, you know, Rolex sponsored drivers, tents and all kinds of food and all kinds of whatever pavilion. It's all gone. It's just dudes in the race cars and their semi trucks and their trailers.

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And it's the hardest core of all the hardcore dudes, because I'm going to say it's all the dudes who they went, we're not going to do this car weekend. There's not going to be any Pebble Beach concourse. It's not going to be any Quale at all. The auctions, all the fun stuff for the wives and stuff you can do at night and the Acura Party. And, you know, you could go hang out at the Rolls-Royce booth, you know, on Pebble Beach, all gone, only racing back to you guys.

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It was you guys in Sturgis. That's about it. Right. So all the guys that were there, I knew were the hardcore dudes.

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And they had about they got off about eight or groups and there's twenty, twenty five cars and almost each run group. So it was a pretty well populated event and everyone just did there. They just did their thing. Best dudes in the world completely unaffected by whatever's going on in in the world as it pertains to covid-19 and all this like crazy CANDU guys who are just like, well, we'll just fix the car overnight. We'll pull parts off of this car and put it on that car.

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I saw interesting. I saw Jim Farley. Jim Farley is Chris Farley's cousin. They look exactly the same. They're about the same age or would be about the same age. He just got made CEO of Ford.

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I mean, literally Özal. Yeah. And he's out there racing his Ford powered Cobra. He's got a Shelby Cobra and he's out there racing. He's walking the walk. He is walking the walk, man. So we hung out. Little if those guys and the race was so we went out, the race was Saturday and Sunday, two races Saturday, two races Sunday. Of course, we all made the deal to go out and eat and go to steak places and do all that.

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Everything was just shoved out into the parking lot, which is fine. It's all it's all kind of theater like, you know, walking down the bike path and Cannery Row. And there's all these signs that like a hundred dollar fine if you don't.

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And it's just the sun is shining and people are going for walks and jogs and bike rides and whatever. There's no I don't know, it seems like a lot of theater to me anyway. Everyone just moved out of the parking lot. And except for Clint Eastwood's restaurant, which has a big, beautiful patio that overlooks the bay and the ocean and all that kind of stuff. So we went out.

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We had had some fine dining and went for one for big, long walks in the morning and then went to the track was kind of nice. The track is normally a cluster fuck like cars way down the hill. Check in. Security can't go here. Can't get in there. That's all it is. It is a cluster fuck normally because there's hundred thousand people and all these vendors and all these checkpoints, everything just wide open. They checked your forehead with the thermometer when you when you walked in every morning and that was it.

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And just able to pull the car right up to the race car and get out and park it there, like the kind of stuff you couldn't really do if it was raining.

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Yeah. So it was kind of cool.

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Everyone just kind of slowed down, got into the racing, got into sort of slowed it down, hung out more, did a little less rushing from one event to the next event and enjoyed ourselves and and the racing is the racing was good and it is completely liberating. You do not think of anything other than racing when you're racing, which is something I think we all need these days. I had issue with my air filter, which screwed up my entire session on Saturday and then my entire session on Saturday night as well.

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Then when we finally got everything fixed and the car ran, I won out on Sunday morning and a the transmission has a spot in it where your speedometer cable used to screw into. It's an old it's an old car. It's an old transmission. So the speedometer cables would run off of the transmission. And back in the old days, that's that's how they figured out how, you know, your speed. This has a hole in it where that where the speedometer cable used to go, but there's no speedometer, so it's plugged.

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That plug blew out somewhere around five.

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And one of the chances and you prepped this car like a mofo. How I mean, I guess you just can't know what you don't know at the time.

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You're supposed to shake these things out. And I didn't.

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And this thing just blew and this transmission fluid oil one all over the hot exhaust pipe and created a huge plume of smoke. So it's cinematic.

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Yes. It looked as if I blew something up. I didn't know what it was, but that was the Saturday morning run session. So everyone of my session sessions had been screwed up. And this was just left sad sorry, Sunday afternoon. That was Sunday morning. And all we had was the last run of the entire day.

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And. All right, over the weekend there were four there were two Saturday to Sunday. All of them had been marred and hampered. So I worst law firm ever. Marren Hamper will fight for you with you on harassment suits.

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Right? Expect much.

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Believe me, we know harassment. We both took a lot of shit in junior high. So now it comes to the very last race on Sunday.

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And I got everything straightened out. But I've not driven this car. It's a brand new car with this stupid transmission that's like second gear and third gear are like the same gear. I don't want to bore you guys, but I hate this transmission. So does everybody else. No one runs it. I don't know what's in the car, but it came down to the final race and I had not qualified for anything because I'd not run laid down a time.

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And then these guys, which I love, these guys, the guy who was on the pole, Troy, who's super fast and basically a professional driver, he said, why don't we take the top five guys and put them in the back, let's take the top five guys who grinded up, you know, qualified first, second, third through fifth. And we'll start at the back. And that's the way we're going to run this race. And it's like it's fun, fun for them.

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It's not that fun when you're driving. And five dudes or hard charging dudes are coming at they're all going for it because the reason they're all going for it is you could say, well, why not just let a couple laps go by and you'll work your way past the other 15 or 20 dudes?

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That's fine. But if one guy if one fast guy makes it out clean and gets out front, everybody and the other four fast guys are kind of hanging around, that guy is just going to take off and he's going to leave all these other guys.

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Conversely, if like the fourth or fifth fastest guy could somehow scoot through the traffic and hop to the front while the fast guy was caught behind a couple of guys, he could then make up a little a little space.

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So and that's got to look like Fury Road in your rearview. I don't like that.

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I'll I'll find I'll find some footage of it, but I'll I'll just let you guys hear the first 30 seconds of of the starts.

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I'm driving a five 10 Datsun that I've never driven before, but really little one. It's really little. Yeah.

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And you can hear that second, third gear sound the same plight for. You see one of the masked guys, probably very guys, right, rail all the way around and everyone is kind of in a big clump of cars together. He had a car work, good ones, we got it run and I just never drove. It was a it was a fun goddamn race at the end, and then everything was weird, too, is we were the last run group of the day.

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So when we pulled back off the track, everyone had piled all their cars up and taken off. There were all gone. It was just this sort of huge, empty, spooky infield.

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They don't do like middle school rules. Were they like parents? Please stay for the entire performance. Don't leave when your kids is done.

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No, we had guys there were guys that had their ramps and everything set up to their trailer so that when they got off the track, they just like drove it right up, backed it up.

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But I mean, I don't know. There's something about these dudes. There's like so low dudes. There's a few solo guys. They just drive their truck, they drive their trailer, they show up, they unpack everything. They have their tent and their stuff and their coolers and their clocks. And they're all their tools and all their replacement parts and all they work on their stuff. And then they go race and then they pack it all up and then they just leave again.

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And I don't know why they're the best guys ever. And I there's just something about those dudes, because I've really been realizing that so many people are just into the process. That thing we talked about, like we want to talk about it.

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We want to do a survey and we're going to take a vote and we're going to we're going to ruminate and we're going to figure it out. And we're going to put it through a panel and they're going to review it. We'll get a focus group. And these guys are the opposite. They're like, we're going racing. We're packing our shit up. We're getting out there. That's it. The thing runs like clockwork. There's like eight run groups.

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They run them. They don't get behind the run them well, they have all the all the safety personnel and everyone is there. So it was good. I had. I had a interesting I saw some some horrible parenting at Home Depot as I was preparing to leave the office to see it.

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You're in the merissa section. Oh, that would be super fun if there were mirrors section. But it's still good to have mirrors there, don't they? Do I? No, I don't think they call the mirror section, but I like it. I like. All right. Great headset. I like where heads that. I was I was kind of wanting to intervene, but I didn't. So, you know how people I've always said, like, they don't seem to have a proper fear of automobiles.

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Like you see people crossing the street just kind of looking down at their phone or how many times does it happen where you're like backing out of a parking lot? There's just someone standing there by the back of your car and you're just watching them and you're backing and they're like kind of hanging and you're like, what? You get the fuck out of the way or even moving forward. Like, people just kind of stopped and it's like, just move it over, go the sidewalk or get out of the front.

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I don't know. How do you know I'm not having the world's worst day or how do you know I'm not texting to or why are you why do you trust me so much? But my father is like a 40 year old guy. Head is like 17, 18 year old son. And he was just like standing in the Home Depot parking lot. And I just got out of my car and there's another guy in a truck and I'm like six year old white dude.

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And he's like back and trying to back his truck up. And the guy and his son were just like kind of standing behind the truck. Now, they weren't standing right behind it. They were just sort of in the guy's path as he was trying to pull back in. A big truck is trying to, like, back it out and get out of the parking lot. They were just kind of standing there and they're both just kind of watching him.

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And like at some point, the guy rolled down his window and he's like, hey, fellas, come on, give me a break here. Something said, something like that. Like what? What are we doing? Like, I'm backing I'm trying to back to back up here and the dad goes. You got a camera in that car, like he's like, yeah, that's how I know you're now. That's exactly I know it's like, look at him and he's like, go on, get out of here, man.

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And then he, like, turns his son is like, can you believe this ass? And they're like both walking into Home Depot, like shaking their head, like, screw that guy. And he was like, oh, great, you're poisoning your fucking son. Now we have another asshole out there. He's junior asshole now, but he'll be sheriff asshole one day when he's 40 and then he can pollute his son's brain. Like there's there's really only one response, which is my bad hand up in and out of the way.

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And I really realize. I was saying when we were walking all through, we're running down Cannery Row and Monterey and the whole walk there, the pier and or the wharf and everything, whenever Sunny and I would cross the street and there'd be like a car waiting at the stop sign where we'd always jog and jog.

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And I did a courtesy job. Yeah. And I'd say, look, here's the thing. There's like three messages you can send when you're crossing a street in front of a car, you can jog, which is. I see. And I'm looking out for you. That's you saying I'm I'm a good citizen and your time is worth something. And thank you for stopping now. I shall jog. There is the I'm going to walk slower than I normally walk the VANDAR.

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There's a message being sent. So once this message, the others, that message, you're on my time and then there's the I don't acknowledge your existence like I'm not even sure where I am, which is its own. It's its own message in a way probably scarier than even the slow guy walking.

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But this guy was basically I was kind of watching him kind of pollute his son and his son, who probably could have went that we were standing behind the guy's truck. And I was like, God damn. He was just like, what an asshole. Like, yeah, he was just like nodding with him. And he was like getting the guy was a little aggressive with the guy who was like going, hey, fellas, come on here. Like, he was being aggressive and douchy with that guy.

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Maybe it's the whole covid thing. I don't know. I think he's a guy who has no humility, like he he had to save face in front of his son. There's no reasonable explanation. Well, I. I agree. I've seen I've seen a lot of it. I will say this, speaking of the highways and byways as is, you know, I just use these weird little measuring tools, these little snapshots to measure everyone. Like, I know I hate this guy who was pissed off at the guy who was backing off at first things first.

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It's like you're standing in a parking lot of a busy Home Depot. Expect people to be backing out or coming in or doing whatever it is, number one.

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Number two, he's saying this because he doesn't want to hit you. You know what I mean? There's a context, right?

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There's a context. So I hate this guy and I don't need to know anything more about this guy. The other thing I was noticing, when we're driving through Texas. Our freeway signs here used to say click it or ticket, and now they just say safe distance. It's just a matter of saying wash your hands for four months. They don't. There is this thing where they could be used to pass along so much information and the click it or ticket thing is like no duh and no shit and then wash your hands.

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It's like, look, people I think people have gotten the message about washing your hands, but that's it. We are our free way. We have a we have this, this, this.

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I'm trying to think of this word, of my thinking of a network. We have a network of these giant digital signs that can reach millions of eyeballs a day in Los Angeles. And we don't say anything on it. And I was driving. We drove from Texas.

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We drove from San Antonio to Austin to Austin.

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And every sign, every Texas freeway sign was like a new update on what's going on on the next off ramp and what's going on over here. Like, it was just I saw eight different messages, maybe 10 on just on that that drive. And they're all just helpful bursting with information like stuff you could use. And I thought, oh, yeah, I guess Texas gives a shit because what we have is, well, we have this network of signs.

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We should be using it for something, but we don't give a fuck. So what should we put on there? And it's like, well, just put something about safety that no one gives a fuck about a particular ticket on there, OK? And then we'll just leave it up there and then we'll just move on to our next thing.

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But it's like or congratulate yourself and get cute like Luke Skywalker uses the force. You should use the force to make sure your hands are clean, like what we have.

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We don't even do that out here without even my, my, my. You know what I my I suspect, like, you see all the cute ones around and we do the cute ones, but not that much. And I suspect that half the people on the L.A. Freeway can't speak English. That's that's my. So you can't get too cute with that stuff.

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Not too wordy, but we basically said we have this opportunity to share all this information. We have no interest in it. It's a you know, I'm sure a multi million dollar project. These collect collected signs everywhere. And it's of no use to anybody in power, even though just simply saying use your signal that that would be enough that I could live with. Use your signal. Just use your signal. Use your turn signal. I'd be fine with that, but we won't use it.

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But Texas is nothing but information. And it kind of made me think, hmm, I think I think they're I think they're into it a little bit like I think somebody cares or someone is thinking about something. But when we were driving to Austin, Mike August was very much obsessed on getting gas. We had to get gas. We couldn't return the rental car, stockpile it. Right.

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We got ticket. We got to fill up. We got to fill up the rental car because we don't want to we don't want to get gouged when we return it. And we're like, but this is awesome because all the gas is a buck seventy nine. A buck ninety nine. So it's like we got to fill up before we get to the airport and we are, you know, it's like eight, eight in the morning. It's kind of early.

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We're having a drive for 90 minutes, drop the rental car off, blah blah blah. And we pull our you know, it was just a shitty little rental car, nothing, nothing exciting, and we pull off the freeway and it's like block ninety nine, like just the novelty of filling up with something that starts with the one. So. All right, Mike, let's fill it up before we hit the airports. A buck ninety nine. Buck ninety nine.

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So Mike's filling it up. I mean, Chris are sitting in the car and he goes, huh, buck ninety nine to twenty five a gallon. I said, what do you mean, two twenty five and the sign says a buck ninety nine. And he's like, Yeah well this is two twenty five. And we go Why is it two twenty five if it says a buck 99, a buck ninety nine is for eighty seven octane. My kid chose to fill up the rental car with the eighty nine mid Gracetown.

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You want to treat it well. What's he trying to prove. I don't know. I don't know. It's man's obsessed about money and gas and he chose the intermediate grade to fill up the rental car, which was we didn't rent the Corvette. It was a shit box that runs off eighty seven octane and then drive it for miles and drop it off. As if I don't know, the chick at Alamo was going to put her finger down the field five like lick it like that.

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Yeah, like that. It's pure, like in Goodfellas. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. This tastes a lot like eighty seven octane to me. I, I don't know, I don't know. What was his explanation for it. I don't know what his explanation. Why was he angry at the gas pump. He was like what. Twenty five. This is bullshit.

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Comes back into the car while it's filling complaining. Oh I can't believe it's two twenty five here. Like what are you doing. And then I just want you. Ah this is the sign of an insane person.

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Yes. He's also one of these guys and I want to tell all you guys please don't do this. People do the well the manufacturer says I can put eighty seven in but I'm going with the eighty nine because I love my car or I want it to last or I want to be better to it. It's a complete falsehood. Just put in what it requires. If it doesn't say it needs the good stuff or the expensive stuff, then just put in the cheap stuff.

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That's it. I think it's funny. People look at the car like their body, you know what I mean? Where they go, I'll pay a little extra for the organic or the free range chicken or whatever it is, that's fine.

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But that math doesn't apply to your to your car. And I think people think it does.

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Yeah, you would think it does until somebody tells you otherwise. Right? Well, he's been told by although he's not going to do in his car, they're going to put the good stuff still though in a rental ever.

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Why did he stop and have it washed? You know, I wanted to read you guys. I want to hear about what you guys did during the the break. I wanted I was watching the Love Boat as as I'm apt to do during the break.

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And I saw Dick Martin of Rowan and Martin's laugh. It was a huge comedy show, spawned lots of stars and spin off things like that. Yeah, a lot. A lot. All a lot of those people were all there. And I started to look at it and I was like, Rowan and Martin, Dan Rowan. I was like, it was Rowan and Martin's laughing. And I always kind of remember Dan Rowan was the guy was like smoking a pipe, kind of like a Hugh Hefner type character.

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And there was this kind of setting up comedy acts and being kind of the straight man. I don't remember him doing standup or bits. I don't remember seeing him before or after this. But Rowan and Martin were were partners. And this was a massive show in the late 60s, early 70s and real cultural kind of phenomenon.

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That's the one Nixon appeared on, right? Yeah. Not getting to me. Yeah. They'd get all this to kind of do like here come the judge and sock it to me and all this kind of stuff that coined all these phrases. And then they'd get a lot of Henry Kissinger types and Nixon's and all different types of people wouldn't normally pop up in those places. And I thought to myself, what are with Dan Rowan?

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Well, who was that guy? Where did he come from? I don't remember him as a stand up and I don't remember him as a comedy actor. I'm trying to figure out where he came from, of Rowan and Martin's laugh. And so I looked up Dan Rowan and his story is what?

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Dossett he was born in nineteen twenty two on a carnival train in Oklahoma. His original name was Daniel Hale. David toured with his parents who performed a singing and dancing act with the carnival at age eleven. His parents died. He spent four years at a at a home in Colorado. After high school, he hitchhiked to Los Angeles, found a job in the mailroom of Paramount, integrated himself quickly with the studio head and a year later became Paramount's youngest staff writer.

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Then World War Two happened, served as a fighter pilot in the 8th Fighter Squadron. For the United States Army Air Forces, he flew a P 40 n warhawk. In which he shot down two Japanese aircraft before he was downed by another in another 40 and was seriously wounded over New Guinea. His military decorations include the Distinguished Flying Cross, the Oak Leaf Cluster, the Air Medal and the Purple Heart, guys born on a carnival train ends up and ends up in Pueblo, Colorado.

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Made me think that Pueblo, Colorado, is where when I was a kid. And they want you to send away for a brochure from the government. Everything the government sent to Pueblo, Colorado, for more information makes you wonder if there wasn't a big orphanage or something in Pueblo, Colorado, where he then was raised. Then he hitchhiked, by the way, in the 30s, in the 30s, the 40s. I mean, you know, cars, the average car couldn't make it 11 miles without overheating back then.

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But anyway, then then he goes flying these huge warplanes in World War Two. Then what?

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Then he's discharged from the Army teams up with Dick Martin, starts a comedy nightclub act. They appeared on television. But it wasn't until the critical success of criminals, the success of a summer special in 1967 that they found fame on laughin. Rowan and Martin's laughing.

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And then it says here very important that he also appeared as an actor in a two part 1987 episode of the TV series The Love Boat, playing the part of Alan Tanvir, husband of Barbara Denver, played by Juliet Mills, who also split his time at the end.

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I think there's a little thing where it's like he split his time between here and where Dawson. It's it's on there toward the bottom.

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I think between his residence in Florida and his barge in the canals of France.

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He spends his time between Florida on a barge in France. Jesus Christ. I mean, what a fucking resume. Yeah. And you think about it, you just couldn't do that today.

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First thing's first like flying fighter planes in World War Two. Those scenes were if you ever get up on a fighter plane like a World War Two fighter plane, they're big, they're big and they're scary. And there was no computer anything. Everything was mechanical, just wires and pulleys. You know, you wanted to fly that plane you were pulling. There was a wire that went to the yolk and the yolk went around to pulling it, move those ailerons around.

[00:34:27]

Those things are big mechanical behemoths and you're getting shot down over New Guinea and you're shooting down Japanese zeros and you're hitchhiking, you know, halfway across the country. And you got your then you start a nightclub, a club after that and you're orphaned. Both parents die when you're eleven. They're in a carnival.

[00:34:49]

Just got right. I just I just don't think you'll be able to you know, there's going to be plenty of this guy was born poor and now he's rich. Like, there's going to be plenty of that. This takes a detour, but not this kind of crazy range right now.

[00:35:07]

And now you smash cut to people rioting and freaking out because they don't want to put a kerchief over their face. And they already watched everything on Netflix.

[00:35:15]

Oh, God, I know. I mean, these guys had real lives that were just filled with danger of it.

[00:35:21]

Also like intrigue and just just this whole it just seems such a full. Now, the problem is when you want to live this kind of life, you can go to, you know, fight in the Pacific theater and just never come home. That's that's kind of the problem. And then you'll never have you'd never do it. Yeah, that's the risk. But what a what a goddamn life that guy had.

[00:35:45]

You had me at Born on a Carnival train.

[00:35:48]

Oh, I am always so delighted when I'm taking my drunken wicky walk, when I'm like, I'm going to look into this chick who played Isaac's girlfriend on Love Boat and you start digging into these people first thing, it's like, are they alive? Are they dead? Some of these people didn't make it five years after they taped that episode of Loveline and then other people. It's like age ninety one. He lives in Wisconsin. Yeah.

[00:36:15]

Is he? Oh, he passed pretty, pretty young, but he died of lymphoma in eighty seven.

[00:36:22]

But Dick, another good reason why you should live your life people or why he should live his life. Yes.

[00:36:30]

Or know walking after love those walking. We got to get the gun. All right.

[00:36:36]

Let's see. Rowan died at age sixty five. But is is Dick Martin.

[00:36:42]

Dick Martin was alive until 2008. Yeah. Eighty six also makes you realize, like, you know, his partner died and he saw another, you know. Twenty five years of of life after after Rowand died.

[00:36:58]

All right. Max, I don't have any spots here, so I'm going to announce we're going to take a break and then we're going to come back and then. Yeah. All right. All right.

[00:37:12]

I got a spot brush. That's what I wanted to say. Most electric toothbrushes, just glorified manual brushes with huge price tags and clunky charging stations. I must tell you, I've been using the bejesus out of my brush. That's b r u u s h. I was here doing all my unpacking and organizing and cleaning and I stumbled upon brush and I didn't even know their sponsor. I just saw this thing. I pulled it out and I was like, Oh, this thing looks good.

[00:37:43]

It's much better than the electric toothbrushes you guys are used to and brought home and brought it with me to Monterey, which is it made the Trav'lin Squad. They have refill plans. I'll send you a replacement heads every six months. And this thing works. I mean, it is it is not. Your dad's electric toothbrush is state of the art technology, six cleaning modes and they have a smart timer, lets you know when to switch sides stops, goes on and off, lets you know I have four week battery life, USB powered charging stations, sleek carrying case for traveling free returns within 90 days, plus free shipping and a two year warranty.

[00:38:25]

This is the real deal, right?

[00:38:26]

Doesn't get 15 percent off your brush kit when you use promo code out at Bruce Dotcom. That's B U dotcom promo code, Adam. All right.

[00:38:34]

Take a quick break. Come back here. What these guys did over the break right after this. It's time to check Adam's voice mail. Adam, this is Aaron from the Bay Area. I was just remembering your cheerleader song from Loveline back in the day. Here we come. A truck in in. I'm a go ahead and let you finish. Take it easy.

[00:39:07]

You can leave us a message at eight eight eight six three four one seven four four.

[00:39:12]

Bet you wonder where we've been. Here we come. A truck an inch.

[00:39:19]

You bet. You wonder where we've been. We're the team that can't be beat each because we're funky on our feet. Crunch. Yeah, that's what I learned. That was powderpuff cheerleader.

[00:39:36]

We took it very seriously. Why is being funky on your feet? I mean, you can't be beat up. Plenty of people in teams are funky on their feet.

[00:39:44]

Could be regular like most these, you know, cheers that I remember all through Pop Warner and stuff. You know, just hearing the cheers, like go bananas and then spell bananas and stuff like that. Didn't have a lot to do with strategy or winning.

[00:39:58]

No, there was a there was a cheer from middle school that we did. That was just t t r u tr uk keep on truckin all the way. Yeah.

[00:40:07]

Yeah. They're not there's not a rhyme or reason. I do like the we got the spirit. Yes we do. We got spirit. How about you one where you point at the other side there because everyone gets to participate in that. All right.

[00:40:21]

So Jena, what do you do during the break?

[00:40:24]

Well, you know, I was here. I still had my my nightly shift over at Cafi, so I didn't go anywhere per say. But it was it came at the perfect time. It was Basharat, as far as my people say, because I haven't seen my dad in almost five months because of the lockdowns at the hospitals and nursing homes and all this stuff. As you know, he's he got very sick. So it just so happened that last week he had a neurology appointment and an EMT appointment.

[00:40:50]

And I got to go to both of them. Oh, phone.

[00:40:53]

I saw him two days in a row for the first time in almost five months, which was like I kept telling him. I was like, I feel like I won the lottery. I won the lottery.

[00:41:01]

I get to see you two days in a row. So that was phenomenal. That was worth every penny, but really chilled and and just went to work, did a little stuff with the family. We took the child to Home Depot, which for some reason he calls the battery store. That must be the just the mere storage, you know. Yeah.

[00:41:22]

See, like a stand of batteries, right. When you walked in. And that's that's what's in his head. I made nosiness a Chapstick store.

[00:41:28]

But you see, that makes sense. And we got him. We got some bamboo for the front because as you know, I live in a rough and tumble neighborhood. And so we got something for the fence. They can't see it quite as easily and got him some flowers. So we planted some sunflower seeds and did a little gardening with him, which was a lot of fun.

[00:41:48]

Sorry, but you reminded me of something that's in my phone that Dawson's going to go nuts for, which is more my dad playing the trumpet talking about your dad. He's now telling me his four thousand trumpets, no good. There's something wrong with it. And I kept trying to listen. I kept trying to listen to it as that. A sad whatever he said, like, what do you up there? And I said, I'm going to Pebble Beach.

[00:42:12]

I'm going I'm going to say I'm going to do a race. And he's like. Are the top racers from the circuit going to be there and I was like, Chad, I'm not Lingoa, I'm not a professional racecar driver. I'm I'm a stand up comedian. I'm not a professional racecar driver.

[00:42:30]

I know I can't stop now. I said, it's so sad. He's eighty nine. I just went he went, well what you know, what is it or whatever. And I just said, Dad, it's just not worth it. Like I you don't know, you don't have a base that I could explain. He doesn't know what. He barely knows what a car is like. I couldn't say to him, I'm driving my five, ten dots.

[00:42:55]

He wouldn't picture a notebook.

[00:42:57]

You know, you can drive a car, you can drive fast. You're really I we get together, you drive fast together.

[00:43:02]

I literally it's like you were trying to teach people math, but they didn't know the difference between a two and a five. And it's like at a certain point you go you need a base so we can discuss this. But if you don't have a base of knowledge or understanding or you don't you don't know anything, then just fuck it. And I remember just tell Dad you don't you don't have a base, so we can't discuss what I'm doing. And he was like, OK, good luck.

[00:43:30]

Oh, my God, bro. Sorry.

[00:43:34]

Go ahead, though. You know, that was pretty much the week a lot of dad's stuff. And then by Saturday, my head was about to explode. I said I got to get the fuck out of here and I don't care where we go. So I woke up just kind of feeling sorry for myself and was very vocal about that. Look, I just feel sorry for me so stupid. And to my fiance's credit, he was like, fuck that, because I want to hear about this for another week.

[00:43:57]

We are going. We are getting up. We're doing whatever you want. So so let's just go. Let's just drive. OK, where.

[00:44:03]

So we got in the car, the kids at home look at the no kids. OK, and I said I want to drive to like the West Valley see me. Things that I don't normally see. So we took this gorgeous drive like one eighteen and the twenty three. And I literally we have pictures.

[00:44:19]

I literally like a dog, sat with both arms and my head out the tongue watching literally for like forty five minutes I was in heaven just driving this warm breeze. We drove through Malibu, stopped and ran while he ran up the sand. You know that giant sandhill that people do. There was a lot of kids doing sand sledding, which was kind of cute.

[00:44:42]

He ran at the bottom of the sand sledding. That's all that was. That was cool.

[00:44:47]

I wish we would have known I would've brought something. And I said, let's keep going. So, you know, resume point do we ended up in Ventura and we're like, let's just walk around, see what's going on up there.

[00:44:58]

Well, it reminded me of our time in Temecula, which is everyone's kind of in Phuket mode. But it was interesting. I love a street party, a street festival, anything that looks like that. And now everything looks like that because everything's a walk street.

[00:45:13]

So we got up there and it was crowded on Main Street or whatever the main street is in Ventura Lines. And just just just, you know, social distancing of any kind. But we found a restaurant that didn't have a lot of people, which I guess we should have known the food wasn't going to be awesome.

[00:45:30]

But we said let's just kind of let's not, like, rub elbows, but I want to go walk around. This is exciting. This first time I've been outside in four months essentially to do anything.

[00:45:39]

So we we walked around up there and had a lovely drive back, which which was great, came home, started our sixth run of Breaking Bad. I think we're on season three now. Yesterday or I guess Sunday, we did something that I don't know if you're going to love us or hate us for this. Probably both. We decided it would be really fun to run errands together because that would make it more so.

[00:46:05]

Dad, my my I don't like running other people's errands, but he was willing to run mine, so he bought my dad the MLB baseball package.

[00:46:16]

So we ran up to where my dad is recovering and set that up for him. Although we can't see him. They just passed us the iPad and then we went right.

[00:46:24]

And be careful that if that thing automatically renews every season, it's one of those things. Thank you. And when Danny to see Tristan at my party house in Sherman Oaks, he signed himself up for the MLB package and then never unsigned himself. And not only the only thing I hate more than baseball is paying for baseball and unlimited baseball.

[00:46:48]

We got four days into the next season and I was like, hey, I want to go ahead and cancel this. And they're like, well, you have to pay for the whole season because. Right. It's just science or is it just they want your money and fuck you.

[00:47:02]

So, yeah, just be careful to keep an eye on that. It'll just keep going forever.

[00:47:07]

Well, speaking of that, you know how everything feels a little bit like the beginning of like they're setting the scene for some sort of sci fi apocalyptic movie.

[00:47:15]

Well, I should have recorded it, I did, and I'll just tell you really fast, I found the perfect opening for the sci fi movie that we're all in. So he turns on the MLB here and he's excited cause he can watch the twins and they're just doing a little, you know, filibuster chatter, the, you know, the announcers. And they say the thing that would start any sci fi movie just to set the scene where we're at.

[00:47:36]

Oh, you know, I'm picking a team because I remember who it was, but. Well, you know, off to a great start this season. Of course, you know, eight players from the Cardinals came down with the virus, so they won't be playing. But so far, looking like it's going to be a great season. I think that's just like saying it's so casually, oh, they caught the virus, so they're out. So that kind of freaked me out.

[00:47:57]

But then we went to Phillies best got ourselves a couple of Philly bulls that had a picnic.

[00:48:03]

I love Philly cheesesteak. So we had we did the bulls and dropped off a few more boxes for the children's hospital, came home. I was pretty tired and I like to unwind by cooking. So I think we have a picture.

[00:48:15]

Last night I decided just for my own therapy to make a nice seared salmon with a side of shrimp scampi and a little salad.

[00:48:24]

We're looking at the lemon garlic butter sauce. Good man. Looking good, though.

[00:48:28]

And I. I've got a surf and surf. Yes, on the side. I called it our night at sea and I only know how to steer salmon. This is very sad. I only know because of when I was doing home chef. They taught me on the cards how to sear salmon perfectly. So now I'm so excited about it. I always have to post a picture so casual.

[00:48:48]

Thank you. It's a real casual week. I got to see my dad and kind of catch up on some things and that was it.

[00:48:53]

Dawson, sorry, I was thinking of you when I was recording my I really he was explaining to me that his trumpet is no good again.

[00:49:03]

Yeah. And he keeps telling me when he's like playing the high note that I can hear that it sounds bad, but I couldn't hear that it was bad. But then I had no then I was kind of left in this position where I have to explain that maybe it was him not being able to play. It could be his or not the trumpet operator error.

[00:49:23]

I'm really hoping that he offered us a different song this time.

[00:49:27]

He was just a different set of you. He was just hitting notes. But I think I think it'll work. It'll work for you, see. I'm not sure what. I try to love my brother. I can't hear the sounds of Star Trek. Yes, that's right. Bogner par. Osama bin. To go somewhere.

[00:50:35]

He wants me to get his trumpet sounds higher, but I don't know what it's broken on it. It's just. So I don't know if there's something psychological going on here, but it's like three years of him wanting a trumpet than me getting him a two thousand dollar trumpet and it's not good enough. Then he takes that back. Actually, I take that back and then he gets himself a thirty five hundred dollar trumpet. And now there's something wrong with this trumpet and I need to get it fixed for him somehow.

[00:51:11]

But no place is open and I don't know how to fix it. Yes, he's a good guy.

[00:51:16]

You can explain it to you. But you have no base. No base of knowledge.

[00:51:20]

No. That's right. He throw it right back in my face. And no, you're right. He's a process guy. He wants to talk about this trumpet forever.

[00:51:30]

The process guy. Your whole life has been you.

[00:51:34]

It's it's true. It's a way to avoid participating in and in life. And then all the fucking life has hassles and life has good times.

[00:51:46]

And oftentimes the more hassles you deal with, the more good times you get to have, you know, at some point in life. But if you don't really want to deal with the hassles and especially if everything falls under the heading of hassle, there's a lot of people that are like going out and riding horses falls under the heading of hassle for like a lot of people are going to the ocean and riding waves on a boogie board falls like, oh, you got to find a place to park.

[00:52:14]

And then you get all the sand in your crotch and there's traffic. And it's so if you if you are one of these people who can turn almost any opportunity into a hassle, then you don't really leave the house. But you cannot nobody ever says, what do you do?

[00:52:31]

I just sit on my ass and I really do nothing. They go like I'm involved with X, Y and Z. But the idea is they have to sort of keep this illusion of participation in a process going because otherwise they're going to have to just sort of realize the reality of them not really living or participating or doing anything. These are the people who are always telling you, like, oh, I had to get up and then I had to go to the post office.

[00:53:00]

And of course, there was a line. So I had to wait in line like everybody else. It's called life. It's it's like you stop turning this into rock soup, as I say often.

[00:53:10]

Yes, right.

[00:53:11]

We talk about that vis a vis Christmas a lot. Right. With the real Christmas tree versus the fake Christmas tree or putting up the lights or rapping.

[00:53:17]

Yes, it's a huge effort. It's a pain in the ass, but it's all building toward something. It's worth it on Christmas Day or whatever it is.

[00:53:24]

The the every guy at the track this last weekend, nobody gets paid, nobody gets a trophy, nobody gets anything. And they have to pay seven hundred bucks to enter this race and then come down there with all their fuel, which is, you know, their fuel is thirty, thirty bucks a gallon.

[00:53:47]

Mike says you can get it for thirty five but I said I'll keep mine at thirty. Says he knows a guy in Texas. So everything's expensive, the tires are expensive, everything expensive. One big huge effort in order to do something that would be considered living your your life. So I think my dad is interested in the process and I guess he's just trying to turn this trumpet into something. So now part two is I have to go figure out who to take this trumpet to, which I ask you to explain what the problem is when you don't hear it.

[00:54:21]

I had a funny conversation with him, too. All my conversations with my family are super condescending.

[00:54:26]

But he said I said I said I'll I'll handle it. Just give me the trumpet off. I'll handle it. And he said. Do you have a guy for this, and I go, everyone's my guy, dad, because I get shit done, like when you get stuff done, you don't have a trumpet guy, you just take care of business.

[00:54:47]

You have relationships, you know people and know people. You go, who's the guy who? Well, Dawson and Chris, they're musicians. They're going to know. So when I would go to them, if something broke on the trumpet, I would go to Sean and the other shop like I don't have a guy, have a whole bunch, I have a brain. And in relationships, I have a network. Right. I could figure I can I can figure this shit out.

[00:55:09]

Chris, some sound like the trumpet was broken or I couldn't tell my head was swimming.

[00:55:15]

I can tell either, to be honest. All right. So I.

[00:55:18]

I didn't hear anything wrong with the drive in hearing that maybe the parallel attached to it possibility is if I didn't come with lips so now and I don't know, stage 28 or round 14 of the trumpet or whatever, it's an ongoing it's an ongoing well, like you say, and I'm your emotional support animal.

[00:55:36]

It's kind of why your mother stayed in junior college for so many years. She never had to commit to actually doing something.

[00:55:43]

The process. Oh, the reason I hate junior college is because of my mom. She she hid under the under the shroud, under the awning of junior college for 18 years because we were go, what are you up to?

[00:55:56]

I'm going to school. Oh, you're back at school. And everyone would applaud and then she'd get left alone.

[00:56:02]

Your dad says, well, I'm trying to fix this trumpet. I'm troubleshooting. Absolutely. Trumpet wrestling with the damn trumpet. Real quick, can I tell you one thing that I forgot?

[00:56:10]

I got good shamed last night, and it really, really helped a lot.

[00:56:15]

We got home from all this mischievous and I was in the shower and we have separate bathrooms because I knew my own bathroom. And and Andy comes in to ask me something and I put my head out and he looks like, Jesus Christ, this is just stuff everywhere. And hair's just a wreck. Chords and hair dryers.

[00:56:34]

And I was like, what? He's like the kind of point and everything and walked out.

[00:56:38]

I was like, oh fuck. Right. Because you don't really see it. You do become blind to it until somebody else sees it, then you're kind of embarrassed. So he got on the phone with a friend for about an hour and he hears noises and chainsaws and barnyard animals and stuff. All this stuff coming from the bathroom. By the time he gets off the phone, can I take a look goes, was this because of me? Oh, God, I feel like such an asshole.

[00:57:01]

I was like, No, thank you. I needed to hear it. I needed to hear from someone. Otherwise I literally was blind to it until somebody else said, Jesus Christ, I got a nice bathroom clean.

[00:57:11]

And you you, my dear, are winner. And I'll tell you why, because I was really just thinking about this the other day. There's really there's just two camps in the world. There's two people in one camp or the other. I was thinking about this the other day. Like, you can come in and say to someone, hey, this looks bad, or, hey, you got to do this or that. And there's one group that gets angry.

[00:57:37]

There's just one group that's like, oh, your bathroom is you know, they just get angry. And then there's another group that has to internalize. They're just like, oh, does it look that bad? I'm embarrassed. I hope we never have this conversation again. You must look at me in a slightly more negative way. Now, I would like to repair that and you just go do it.

[00:57:56]

But there's a large group of people just immediately gets angry with any of that kind of input. It drives me insane. I don't know why they're so fucking many of those people where you just go, your car's a mess, you should clean it or something or go. Your fucking car's like, why not just do it? It's a weird I get it. It's an adolescent thing. But are we just taking that right to the grave after so many of these people?

[00:58:24]

That's a good question. But I want to be very intellectually honest here. Don't don't think I sent him a muffin basket as a thank you. At first I was like, well, like how you feel about it.

[00:58:33]

And I was like, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. He's right. So I my my instinct was like, do with your own bathroom.

[00:58:40]

Then I was like I looked around, but I saw it with fresh eyes and I was like, oh, this is horrible. So it was a little bit of both. I'm not perfect, but they got done.

[00:58:48]

Let me hit the liquid ivy. By the way, dehydration occurs daily, by the way, and many people. So three out of four people, I, I've got to tell you, it was hot down on that racetrack and I brought my liquid ivy and I shook it up in my water bottle and I was chugging it before it got in the car because sweat right through my fire suit over there. So I brought this I brought the liquid ivy for getting in the car.

[00:59:17]

And then I also bought it for before I went to bed, I was getting in a car and getting into bed because getting in the car during the day of sweat my ass off and at night a couple of cocktails out at the steakhouse. And when I get a little liquid I.V. in me before I put my head down on the pillow. The stuff is good, it comes as a little, I don't know, a little too pouches, it's easy to travel with.

[00:59:39]

I just throw a few into my toiletry bag, five essential vitamins, more vitamin C than an orange, as much potassium as a banana. That's the good stuff for the hangover. It is liquid IV right dose and look good.

[00:59:53]

Ivy is available nationwide at Costco and Target. Or you can twenty five percent off and you get a liquid I.V. noncom and you go to Adam and check out that's twenty five percent off. Anything you order when you use promo code out of it. Liquid I.V. dotcom get better hydration today. Liquid I.V. dotcom promo code.

[01:00:05]

Adam, let's see. So Rob's on hold. Sorry, Brian. We'll get a recap with you on your vacation first thing tomorrow.

[01:00:14]

All nobody knows where Brian was. I did a spiritual I've spoken to the I saw some intriguing pictures and we'll tease it for tomorrow, but I was going to dig it. I'm curious what you did. Also, I've been meaning to play a clip from Dawson's new audio book Up on Game, which is out Windows.

[01:00:34]

And it's out now up on game When I Ruled the World and give us a little synopsis.

[01:00:40]

It's the second book. The first book was about Richard robbing banks and then going to jail. This next book takes place four years into his eight year sentence when he gets asked to be the shot caller on the yard and the guy has to walk a major tightrope in prison. And it's gnarly. It's like, you know, those prison documentaries like lock up and stuff. That's nothing that's told from the guards perspective. This is some serious prison stuff.

[01:01:09]

And I chose a clip to play for you. That's a little callback to something we spoke of earlier on The Adam Carolla Show. I think you'll dig this.

[01:01:17]

This is right at the beginning of the book when Richard gets thrown into solitary. I was transferred to the main solitary building, building seven, after about a week, that's where I needed to do all that explaining once Gino and I hit the cell and upper B.S. and we're uncuffed through the slot in our door, a homie hollered out on the tier through a crack of a cell from a few cells down.

[01:01:43]

Depends on the terror cell two to five, which translates from broken English into full on English as excuse me, on the terror cell two to five. Are an enquiry was coming. I responded with Dispenza on the tuna sea and awaited a response. Are you active? He asked, he was making sure me and my were not in protective custody or to be more specific, ensure we hadn't placed ourselves in Ad Seg for having run to the guards after we got ourselves into some shit.

[01:02:16]

Simon, homey. We're both active. I said I was basically informing him, whoever that was, that we were involuntarily detained in Ad Seg and we would be a part of the homies program versus doing our own thing. I'm going to shoot you my line in a minute. Pull it in when you see it in front of your pad. He was telling me that he was about to slide a weight made from the sole of a fake ass you known as the Jap flap.

[01:02:42]

You're going to have to read my first book to get a better rundown on what the Jap flap is, the reason being I'm writing this in twenty 20 and I don't know how many times I can get away with saying the politically insensitive name of Jap flap, but that's what they call them. I've literally never heard them called anything else. The wait would have a piece of twine tied to it through a small hole at the lighter end of the soul, the twine was made from the elastic fibers of boxer shorts.

[01:03:11]

You could have up to as much line as you can conceal in a cell search, basically. I began to make some line out of thin strips of sheets since I'd just gotten there and then made a makeshift way out of the envelope, my solitary paperwork was being contained in on my locker. I removed my solitary lock up order and left the filler papers in the envelope and then poked a hole through the envelope with a small pencil and then threaded the sheet strip through tying it.

[01:03:39]

The home he shot is lying down the tier with his weight bouncing off the curb of the top tier and ricocheting into my cell. This motherfucker's been back here a minute with aim like that. I remember thinking. It gets pretty hairy as we go on. Mark Geragos says that he's often asked why he does still does criminal defense. My response is that the stories are the best. Richard Stanley has proved that adage true 10 times over. It's a fascinating story told in a masterful fashion that is riveting and entertaining, Adam Carolla says.

[01:04:13]

Whatever Matt wrote, Jack flops, it takes a lot of balls and or stupidity to rob a bank, but it takes real grit to make it through prison and come out the other side with a better outlook on life and without a face tattoo. Richard Stanley is by far one of the most fascinating people I've interviewed. You'll love this book. Pick it up up on game when I ruled the world available wherever you get audio books. And tonight, tonight at 10:00 p.m. on Vice TV, they did a series called How to Rob a Bank.

[01:04:43]

And they're debuting Richards episode tonight on Vice TV 10:00 p.m.. So check it out.

[01:04:50]

Well, thank you, Dorson. Rob Schneider. Jack. Slaps on hold.

[01:04:56]

That's what they call them. They also call them zombies, which is something we're trying to figure out. Flipflops were zombies and or perhaps when I was a kid. I don't know where the origins of Zora's never heard that.

[01:05:10]

We call them thongs. Yeah. That because it go between the.

[01:05:14]

Yeah, these are more like the ninja shoes. Oh these are the ninja shoes. Yeah. Oh right.

[01:05:18]

Just with the flap over the top shower shoes I'm seeing is a jailhouse thing.

[01:05:24]

Zora's is an East Coast thing. Yeah. My, my relatives from Philadelphia, Pat and Vince Brudno would be pat me like I'm wearing my Jory's. That's an East Coast thing. Like I don't know, like they have horseshoe crabs over there and we don't.

[01:05:40]

JBI Well, quick 15 seconds at J.B.. Well, they're proud sponsor of the Adam Carolla Show EPOXI. He's a brand used by both designers and pros as well and trusted for over 50 years available. JB Weld Dotcom. Rob Schneider's on hold. We'll take a break. We'll come back with Rob and a couple of phone calls right after this.