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Well, we get into my long odyssey with Florida five shows and just how drunk Mark Geragos got. And we go over it in painstaking detail.
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And now still shaking off his hangover from the Don Julio and West Palm. Adam Corolla, yeah, get it on. Got to get it on a choice between UN mandate. Get it on. And welcome to the last show before Thanksgiving, everybody. A mad girl. That's Jena grad over there. Hello. And all right.
I got some stories from the road. First, I'll tell you the Ottey the road. So here was my wacky Florida schedule. I had an eight 20 flight out of LAX and that would be Friday morning. So I left for the airport about six thirty on Friday morning. And we landed there.
Right, because your first show was at seven thirty. Are you new here? Is it. I'm really observant and really. Well, they don't they don't have too many to. I think we flew the first flight to West Palm Beach actually on JetBlue. So I think that's what they said. Anyway, we landed about four four thirty and got waited around, got the rental car and drove to the hotel, checked in and got out till about five, five thirty, something like that first show, 730 Late Show was 10 p.m. So it's a fairly busy day there.
Then Saturday, that's where the fun really began. Saturday was four p.m. reasonable doubt. We did a live show there from the Improv. Then, of course, acts live. You guys were there four and then nine thirty, stand up, show unprepared after that Sunday morning. Had to meet out in the lobby at about seven forty five to take Mike August, who got ahead a ten thirty flight out of Miami. Chris and I had to drive him in the rental car, drop him off in Miami and then I drove I, I think oh look at Chris.
It was about an hour.
Maybe it was somewhere around an our little under an hour or so I recall I could be wrong, but isn't it an hour in the wrong direction.
It's not on. No, no. We were heading to the Florida Keys and I don't even know where we ended up. But I then ended up at a hotel somewhere around the Florida Keys where Rob's wedding was. I ended up there from the shop, Rob from the shop. I ended up there about 4:00 p.m. Then Chris came and picked me up about 5:00, went to the wedding, hung at the wedding, Bluebird back to the hotel I was staying in.
And I was informed that because we had an eight thirty flight out of Miami that Chris was going to need to pick me up at five fifty. That's a rush and drive to Miami and drop off the rental car and then take all the check bags and all that junk and get them back to L.A. for five and a half hour. Coach flight. I was thinking about Brian because. Oh, please. I had I had said, all right, I'll I'll take the coach ticket, but give me the bulkhead or get plus or whatever.
Bingo. But what they don't really tell you is there's bulkhead and then there's bulkhead. There's a kind of a bulkhead where you have a ton of leg room and there's nothing in front of you at times.
There's nothing protruding into your knees. Your knees are right up again. They didn't tell you about this bulkhead is the flight attendant from first class had her jump seat directly in front of me facing me so I could sing facing you on Southwest. Also, it's like they're so crazy about the masks. And I'm trying to take my little traveler out and pour myself a cocktail and she's just staring at me literally. There's no seats in front of us. I have the I have the wide open leg room, but the wide open leg room leads to her jumpseat.
Her legs are she's tall.
I need a knee with a hall monitor. He's got to crossed in her crotch. So I'm like, what the fuck kind of coach? Plus, this is I'm staring up the crotch of this flight attendant and her legs are extending to the point where if I extend my legs past the row of chairs, which is to the side of me, not to the front of me, I'm on the bulkhead. I can't extend them past what I would have extended them if I was sitting in a seat, because I my feet will.
Her feet, so now she didn't sit in it the whole flight, but from the time you start taxiing to the time you get up to level off, it's forty five minutes of her just sitting there staring at you. So it wasn't exactly the bulkhead experience. I've never experienced a bulkhead with the jumper seat that faces me, but God bless. Now we got to get to Mark Geragos. Is Drinka.
Well, that next show that he's on is going to be an intervention. I to witness that I talked to him. I called him from the wedding. And I have never laughed so goddamn hard in my life because Mark and I started on reasonable doubt and we so during reasonable doubt, people sent up shots. That was four in the afternoon. We did. And I will be completely accurate with this tally. We did three shots of tequila during the hour long, reasonable doubt.
Then Mike, Mark and I, who had about an hour and a half to kill, walked back to the hotel. One went upstairs to the pool bar, the rooftop pool bar, and had ourselves some more cocktails. Now, Mark had two shots of tequila. He was looking for the Don Julio. They had something, our waitress with some sort of tequila.
Oh, yes, Leonardo. She's the sheriff of the tequila. Yes. She was a temptress. So she said, I got something better than Don Julio. We're out of Don Julio. So she came up with something better than Don Hooyah. And I ordered a martini. So in that time period, Mark did two more, I'd say, well, you know, not shots out of a shot glass, a heavy pour, two more heavy pour sort of tequilas sipping tequila, which he fired down.
I drank my martini, which is maybe a little less a little less than what he drank, but not really. So we both then drank. So now we're both at about five shots of tequila at this particular time. Plus, we then walk back to the venue. We then go out on stage and and I'll tell you a side bar, which is which is good, which is all you need to know about being drunk at the hotel bar.
Before we made our way back to the venue, Mark ordered a hamburger protein style and the waitress being twenty four said, what's that mean? And he said, everything but the bun just give me everything but the bun. And of course they always do this to which they never really do the math on, which is you go give me the burger protein style, they go OK, and then they give you the burger protein style with a big heaping side of fries always on the plate because they need your bath.
It just comes with fries. Like I've had conversations where I'm like, give me the burger protein style, just the patty and no fries, no fries. And they go, OK, and then you sit there and get drunk and then they drop it off. And as a big thing of fries and inevitably you eat the fries that's at work. But yeah, Mike and I ate the fries and Mark dutifully ate the burger protein style. So then we went out and we walked back to the club and then we got up on stage.
And that's where awesome dorsum came into play and people were bringing I think we brought a bottle of Dunn. I think Mark brought a bottle Don Julio up on stage. I can't remember if people were sending him over, but we studied the game film and Mark did at least five shots of Don Julio during assists. So that would get his total up to ten or ten plus because he was pouring those shots up on stage. I did hospital. Yeah, he held it well.
He was at ten shots plus of tequila. I was at ten shots plus of tequila too, because every time he poured himself a drink, he poured me a drink and handed me a drink. So now we're both ten shots in and we wrap the show. Well I actually dismiss him twenty minutes early and I say goodbye to you guys and I do. And. Carol is unprepared for the last 20 or 25 minutes, I guess. I think it went pretty well, actually.
Then I walk off of stage, I walk into the green room, and Mark is finishing a large case of deer, not protein style. Far from it. And has these novelty pretzel buns just seen just these logs of pretzel dough material that he's dipping into the cheese sauce. So the whole core of the broken bottle isn't coming. The whole protein style hamburger, that was six shots ago. It's all out the window. Yeah. So now he is now finished off a plate of Cassidys and and and in a nice drunken move, had peeled the glazed pretzel powder off of the pretzel bun in which just using his fingernails to peel the sort of gold colored part off, but leave the sort of white milky center.
I don't know if that was a flavor thing or as part of his low calorie intake. I know for a penny in for a pound mark.
So he did that and then he either yakked or went to the bathroom and came back and then passed out.
But he passed out on his hand like a prop. This had up with his palm, you know, and then slumped over onto the sofa. He then snored like a maniac back there. We all was yelling at him to keep it together.
Man me Mike in the opener, the opening act, we sat there with Chris and we watched college football silently while Mark just filled the room with sound, filled it. How hard was he snoring?
It was louder than any of us speaking. But we all none of us really addressed it. We just kept having the conversation underneath all of this snoring. Right. And then at some point it became 10:00 and it was time for me to answer the bell. So I got up and I went back out and did a, I don't know, 70 minute stand up show. When I came back, Marc was nowhere to be found and nobody knows where he went or what happened to him.
So Marc was while you're on stage, Marc was kind of coming to and he wakes up, he has he has pretzel bits all over the collar share in his neckline. There's just pretzel remnants all over the table. Mean I look like a murder scene. And then as he starts waking up, Mike Augustus's just asking about Harvey, the Harvey Weinstein case, which Marc doesn't want, starts answering. And then they just have a conversation about Harvey Weinstein and and then just stumbled off into the night.
Well, so, yes. So they're talking to each other. I leave to go check out some of the show and then come back in the green room and nobody's in there. And then Mike August walks in. I go, oh, did you help Marc at home? And he goes, I thought he was with you.
Oh, my God. So market marketing disappeared. Maybe he made it to Big Boy.
So he he literally just staggered out of the club and found his way back to the hotel, which was not a short walk.
It was a good twenty minutes at a at a brisk clip.
Do we have confirmation that he found his way back to the hotel? You. Yeah, yeah we do. Because he sent me a text the following day when I was at the wedding that said, how the fuck did you do that third show?
I went, I don't know, man, you know, duty calls. And he's like, holy shit, you drank the same amount as me. And I was so fucked up I couldn't even stand up. How the fuck did you go do that? And I was like, I'm a pro mark. And he's laughing maniacally just going, Jesus Christ. I didn't think I could get any more respect for you, man. But you he was smart because he knows the condition he was in when the second show ended.
And he knows I was in about I mean, I certainly consumed the same amount that he had consumed.
So I was going to say I didn't want to come off as ACSU, but as long as it's being thrown out there, I do not have an inkling that you were drunk, let alone had drank, let alone had drank as much as Marc during the show we are on because Marc was, what's the word, animated and the sugar.
Yeah, you are in the shadow of Marc, perhaps, or whatever it was. I just it never came off that way. Well, thank you.
I you know, I obviously had my buzz on a compliment, you pussy. I had I had my buzz going because I drank the same amount of tequila as Mark did, I was simply, I don't know, probably more used to just being up on stage in that condition. But the for him, the real feat was the third show he just couldn't imagine.
Let's give you 10 shots and get you in front of a jury and see how you do not. It's a good point.
At what point did you because I remember at the beginning of our of the show when we came out, you were kind of trying to like, you know, make a through line and do your thing that people come to expect. And at some point that was not an option. Mark, on stage, at what point did you say to yourself, you know what, let's just let this happen?
You know, it's like you can't really be a cat wrangler up there. You have to try doing what what you're doing. And when you realize Mark's mark, Mark's an alpha, Mark's in the shape Mark's in. And at that point, I was just like, fucking Mark's going to do what Mark's going to do.
We have some we have some audio of him, him snoring.
Perhaps we'll play a little clip of a push.
All right. You get the idea from. That sounds otherworldly, so a special effect, no better way to chill out between the second and third show than to have insane snoring going on. But, you know, I'm a I'm a cagey veteran and the show must go on. So I went I went out. Mark staggered home. And you can hear us. Well, during the next reasonable doubt, I will definitely be busting his chops. So you can you can definitely look forward to that.
I had. So after that weekend and after doing five shows and after getting lit up on tequila and after leaving to drop Mike off at the Miami airport on Sunday morning and then having Max a to pick me up in the dark parking lot of the hotel I was staying at at five forty five on Monday and take the hour forty five minute drive to Miami Airport and drop off the rental car and get all the merch bags in the equipment bag and all that stuff.
And Chris and I schlepping through a crowded airport I should say. I got on the flight and sat down on my seat. I had the flight attendant popped the jumper and sit right in front of me. And then moments later, when I stay about a half hour later, when they started the bag, when they started the drink service, the drink services, do you want water or do you want Diet Coke? That's the new drink service. And as my middle five and a half hour flight as my middle age white male flight attendant was pushing the cart up and down the aisle.
He was doing this thing as he was backing it down the aisle and he was doing the watch your knees, watch your knees. I actually wrote it down. He wrote, watch your knees, watch your knees. Because, you know, as they get more people and the flight was fairly crowded from Miami to LAX, it was not some of the more Spartan flights I've taken during this whole covid thing. There's a lot of people. It was about three quarter full.
There was a lot of families where all three seats were filled and then there were some seats with the middle seat empty. But it was I'll tell you how full the flight was. I went to go put my bag above my seat and it was already full, like my bin was full. The bins haven't been full and a while the bins were full.
Had to find what airline with this American air American.
And they allowed they were allowing middle people sit in the middle seat.
Well, they're doing the family in the middle seat. I see.
OK, yeah. Sunday of Thanksgiving week and makes sense. So the flight was fairly full and the guys back in the cart out and the seats are getting smaller and people are getting bigger. I mean, people are getting fat, but they're also just big. I mean, these dudes are big, you know, and there was a big dude sitting sitting in the aisle behind me. And as the guy was rolling, the flight attendant was rolling the cart back, saying, watch your knees, watch your knees.
He was like he was doing it like a garbage truck backing up with a beeper. You know, he wasn't really telling specific people. He was just going, watch your knees, watch your knees, watch your knees. He's backing up. I heard a guy say, excuse me. And the flight attendant went, Yeah, my watch your knees. And he went, excuse me. And flightiness like, what? And he said, Say, excuse me.
Oh, wow. Who is the kind of Tolleson locked on a fucking plane?
A a a angry black man who was probably weaponized during all the political shit that's going on over the last several months in this country. And he's like, you don't tell me to move my knees. You respect me and you tell me now, of course, the guy had all the context in the world. He was telling everyone, move their knees. But this guy serve you.
Yeah, well, public service it is. But what if you were convinced that they had a target on your back and that we lived in an oppressive state where there were systemic racism and you needed to be respected and people were going after you because of the color of your skin? This is this super dangerous part about this never ending message. You will find this. You can find some form of oppression or racism in move your knees or watch your knees.
And then the guy, the poor flight attendant, had to make a decision. Now, if that were me, I would have been pepper sprayed and then thrown off the airplane while I was in the. Yes, this guy had to make a decision, do I tell this guy who's kind of out of line, sorry, and by the way, flight attendants, they aren't your friend anymore. They're just all business. Now, the 9/11 got them halfway to the finish line and covid got them home like they're no we're no longer here to smile or be your friend or accommodate you.
It's all about safety and making sure you have your mask up and blah, blah, blah, blah. It's a hall monitor.
Yes, that's right, people. We are not friends. We are not.
They are not. This guy had to make a decision. Do I tell him what I would tell Jenah grad or Brian Bishop or Adam Carolla or do I just apologize to him so I don't get fucking lit up on Twitter when we land or I don't know, least part of the fucking story doesn't end up being something it wasn't on The View, you know, some kind of racism or whatever is going on. So the flight attendant just apologized. And I realize, all right, you didn't do the black guy any favors because this guy's essentially unemployable with this attitude.
But also what I've always kind of said is for every white racist, there's ten white guys just wanting to wanting it to go away. Just whatever. I will bend over backwards. I will tell you anything you want to hear. I don't I don't want the trouble, not in this climate. And if you are the recipient of that behavior, then it's going to affect you. I mean, that guy, the big brother, he knew he could say that.
I mean, he was he he he was emboldened by our our current climate. He there was a reason he said it. There's a reason why I've never heard it on a flight before. But now I did like he knows that this guy is going to have to bow to him, shot down in the aisle. No, he's not, because someone's going to start filming it with their phone and then they're just going to put it out there and it's going to have a complete contact.
And all the media and all the dumb people are going to go race there. They're going to rush right to racism. Right. Look how racism is. Right. So he just had to fucking eat it. And then ten seconds later, he yelled at me because my mask was around my mouth, but not my taking it out to you.
That's right. Yeah. He had to let it out somewhere. So I was just like, oh, thank God. At the very beginning of this five and a half hour flight, I have to hear this fucking exchange nine inches behind me. This is awesome. And also, you're going to be on the flight with the fucking guy for another five hours and ten minutes. I mean, I'm talking about the brother to the flight attendant. Do you really want it?
Is this the relationship you want with this guy? Maybe you want another sack of corn nuts at some point. You know, he doesn't even deliver the Lunchables yet.
I know it's such a weird life. It's not a life strategy, but it is a weird way that people go through life. Yes.
Gina, two questions.
One follow up with that. Did you end up hearing the guy with the drink cart? Did he end up saying, excuse me, all the way down the aisle?
Let's go back to his now just to watch your knees. I mean, everyone is so big now that their knees are slopping out into the aisle and the cart gives you about an inch and a quarter leeway to the right and to the left. But there's not much there. If your knees are hanging, you're going to get a piece of sharp aluminum corner in the in the kneecap. And if you think about it, you have to also think about it like people.
People are done with intentions. You know, they're done with intentions. Like what is the flight attendant doing? He's trying to prevent you from him bashing his cart into your kneecap. That's what he's doing. What's his intent? Well, his intent is to not inflict any pain or harm on your left leg as it hangs out. Yeah, that's his intention. So why just coming from that? And he's trying to do his goddamn job, like he's trying to get, you know, one hundred and thirteen people there.
Frasca So what do we need to stop him at this point and correct him? And do you think he feels corrected or do you think he's now angry at you for not saying anything? Yeah, that's weird.
That's the weird thing, because the insistence on that's what's weird about the insistence on excuse me, watch your knees is not particularly rude. It's Curt, but he's got a he's got a job to do.
He's in a hurry and he has to say it 80 times throughout the course of his travels. What was your other question, Gina?
Because I've I've almost come to tears a few times in frustration, trying to figure out how in the hell I'm supposed to have even a tiny little simple little wedding get together ceremony on any level at this point. And just and not just say fuck it and go to the tuxedo rental marriage license accounting firm on the corner in the valley, because that's how they roll. What was this wedding like? Because I'm that's not happening for the foreseeable future in this county.
Well, it was in Florida. It was out in the backyard of a beach house that just sort of led right out into the water. So that was really nice. I don't think I saw mask. Did you see a man?
Well, just some of the people working in where we met, I think. Now, if you wear a mask, at least in Florida, you look like you work there. Because I remember I went and ordered a drink with a mask on and somebody asked me like, oh, where's the bathroom? Do you work here?
Because, yeah, if you wear a mask, cross your other kids look like an employee. So all the employees were wearing masks. And was it how many people you think.
Yeah, 50 50 people could have been 55. There were zero masks amongst the attendees. Yeah, of of the wedding and mass, I guess, with the staff. I didn't even notice that. But yeah, well, it's very relaxed anyway, because it was beach casual. Beach casual. That's the other day. I didn't read the memo. I packed a fucking black suit boots. I just carried with me the entire fucking trip.
You were supposed to go full Crockett and Tubbs for my wedding. I know. I personally I spaced out so, you know, so go to Florida. You do whatever you want. I guess that it didn't seem to be anybody telling anyone otherwise. It's a different world over.
There must be lot to you. When I when I picked up Adam to go to the wedding, he was just wearing a T-shirt, a hat and shorts. And I'm thinking, all right, he's taking this beach casual thing, maybe a little too far. And he got locked outside of his room. And then he and then he proceeds to throw me his key card. And Carl has a picture of it. And he's like, this is what I this is what I took out when I went on my walk.
And it looked like the key card. But if you turn it around, which killed it, it just says, good for one beach pool towel. So it's just a coupon. Yeah. And it was in the same thing as his key card trick that you can't do that they. Yes, the key cards are plastic. They're all the same shape as every key card is and included in the key card. Little cardboard pouch is the good for redemption of one towel thing.
So and it's got a picture of like a pelican and a resort in a house in an island on it. So when I'm leaving, I just grab the key card that looks like a key card, but it's not the key card I'm sorry for throwing right now.
I don't because everyone who ran this hotel muslum or am I reading that card wrong? I don't know if they like Islam arama as long as know that's that's where it was.
It's Eila Mandorah that's just like you know. Yeah. Aala Morada. What. I don't know, but that's just what the places like on these pressure. Yeah. Doesn't look like Islamorada. That looks like something else. Yeah. Islamorada is. That's that eighties all girl Muslim band gets to sing.
It's a it's a Shiite summer I think. What's their.
I can't remember what their hit was, what was the Shiites, so she she had some. And you can't you can't we're not going to let you drive or read it. She she some don't steal my love or we'll cut off your hands. She she. It's all right. Enough of our tomfoolery. I got much more to talk about, but we'll we'll leave it at that for now.
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We take ourselves quick break and come back and we'll do the news with Jean and Balde right after this.
You could crack the news with Genographic, break Firewheel, all those crazy Trump tweets get me out of trouble in the Middle East. Celebrity that she with you. The news with Genographic. So a couple interesting things going on, the first one in on White House watch Monday, the administrator of the General Services Administration seems very, very vague, but that's what they're called officially designated Joe Biden as the apparent victor of the presidential election. And though President Trump has allowed this certain transition teams to move forward and get access to things, he's still indicating that he believes the election was rigged, but he's doubling down in such an odd and yet entertaining way for us because he spent Tuesday morning retweeting Randy Quaid tweets.
Really? Yes. And I have some for you somewhere. Tweeted out a I know some. Some. Here's one. And they're not recent either. At least the video, but one. This is from November 20th. Randy Quaid said, Never underestimate the greatest president this country has ever had. Trump is an astonishing man of the people fighting for all of us, not big pharma. America first cagy keep America great. I think Trump Pants 2020.
Stop the steal. Twenty twenty, Trump replied. So thank you, Randy. Working hard to clean up the stench of the 2020 election. How hoax. And then Twitter writes, This claim about election fraud is disputed. There was a lot of back and forth with Randy and Donald and there were some videos that I don't think are new. I think they're from at least a year ago. Here's one that President Trump retweeted now. It's a tight shot of Rand, his face with a blinking red and green light.
So this video, some Kubrick at Fox News daytime ratings have completely collapsed week in day time. Even worse, I'm very sad to watch this happen.
The best part, but I got the one.
They forgot what made them successful, what got him there. As he tried to relax, he forgot the golden goose, the only difference between the 2016 election and 2020.
Fox News. So that was one of them can do that, doesn't.
I know he's in exile in Canada somewhere, but he could still do veto work. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
I think he well, yeah, he should probably stay a little out of sight because I think the government would very much like him back.
But what does this would bring back? Well, the government would because they I think they have some unfinished business of like a break in.
Wasn't there like a break in? I don't know. It's hard to keep up.
So there's another I didn't pull it, but there's another one where he's on stage sitting backwards in a chair and does this like three minute poem about Trump and about Lilliputians. And you know what? My one takeaway was? He's a really good actor. He was incredible poem about the burning of the world. And I was intrigued and enthralled.
He definitely emotes. Yeah, much we got well, I get it. He's not. And I have to do say something nice about Trump and Hillary tweeted. That's the way that's that's the key. That's that's how you get Trump to do the right way to say he's a great president or is robbed and he will definitely recreate that shit. You know what we got?
It's a social experiment. So another social experiment that is really interesting.
Dave Chappelle has released a new standup segment on social media, just watched it this morning called Unforgivable. It covers all the ways people and networks have stolen from him and cheated him throughout the years of his career. He said he started when he was fourteen. He tells the story about how a guy stole one of his jokes and said, you know, I could just take it from you and intimidated him. Then how he got sort of taken for a ride and three card monte in Manhattan and all of these ways he was on him.
Yeah, well, it just examples of him, you know, like learning these life lessons.
And in that one, the guy grabbed him when he figured out the trick and said, you never come between a man and his next meal. And he said that really stuck with them. And then toward the end, like I said, it's almost twenty minutes. He talks about how companies like Netflix and Comedy Central and HBO have sort of given him raw deals and bad contracts throughout the years. And one example he gave was how Chappelle's Show started streaming on Netflix, which I was thrilled about, and watched a bunch of them.
Apparently that was not cool. So he called Netflix and told, like, ask them. This makes me feel bad. He said to them, it makes me feel bad that you put this up because I don't get paid for this content being on Netflix. And they took it down and he thought that was so wonderful and such a great courtesy. So now he's going forward and he says, I'm asking you, the person who watches me, my boss, you, my boss, the listeners and the watchers and the appreciators that I don't watch the Chappelle's Show because I'm not getting paid for it.
I'm asking you to boycott me. So this is the last minute and a half of this long monologue performance where he calls out Comedy Central and a few other networks. And this is the end.
No one is in the hot dogs you eat. Now, there's probably a bunch of people at Comedy Central and Viacom and all these places that have no idea what I'm talking about. They've all either quit or been fired or got me to do something next, it's going. And there's a whole bunch of new young people there, and they're probably looking like, what is he talking about? They may not actually know what the fuck happened to me. So I'll tell you what I'm talking about.
Go downstairs to your accounting department, open the books, see what that show made and look at what you paid me. That's exactly what I'm talking about. You're going to pay me. I am inviting you to come with me and work with me. And let's fight against that terrible, terrible feeling that you made me feel. Together we can fight together and work this thing with Chappelle show out or. Or I can just take it. Thank you.
I got to tell you, I think I referred to it real quick, I think I referred to it as unforgivable. It's Unforgiven and that Clint Eastwood movie, what he he got a hundred million dollar Netflix deal. I'm trying to think of what his 50 million bucks. Oh, he loves Netflix. He got an absurd amount of money. He got absurd amount of money from Comedy Central. So there's a couple thoughts. One is, is unfortunately, this shit comes with the territory like me and Jimmy invented the man show.
We don't own the Manukau. That's just that's the shit that goes on in this business now. And he talks about that kind of thing. You can go, well, that's not right, but you can also go, well, we ended up making millions of dollars and we're on their platform. You know, like I don't think it's a fine line, which is you go Comedy Central screwed me. Well, Comedy Central gave you millions of dollars and also made your star.
So it's not all bad. There's this this this is kind of baked into the cake. You know, whoever works for Dow Corning, who comes up with the new that the new contact lens solution that makes Dow Corning ten billion dollars. They were being paid by Dow Corning seventy one thousand dollars a year when they came up with that. And they don't own it, you know, and you could kind of go, well, that's not right. And you go, OK, well, maybe it isn't right, but then you need to build your own platform, like you need to build your own Comedy Central and own everything.
And there's a it's a lot of gray area because there's there's flat out case. Is it just being ripped off? And then there cases of, you know, it's like. It's like our manager was a producer on the man show when they did Season five of The Man Show, Jimmy and I didn't get paid. Our manager got paid because he was a producer. And it's a bunch of shit where you're like, that's not fair. But it's like that is unfortunately, it's really baked into the capitalism cake.
That's that's where we're at. And you try to arm yourself, get good people on your side, get lawyers, read contracts and all that kind of shit. The more juice you have, the less you're going to get ripped off at the beginning. You know, ask any blues singer. I ask any, you know, any I don't know. Ask Taylor Swift and Scooter Braun. I'd learned that from TMZ. So, yes.
Well, good comparison is, at least in this case, and I imagine it applies to a lot of cases, is like in the NFL, right. You play under a rookie unless you're a first round pick, top 10 tech, you plan that rookie contract, you know, for three years, let's say you kick ass. You're not being paid what you're worth, but you're being paid what you have the contract you signed. And then at the end of the three years when you're a stud in the league and you're underpaid, you either get that money from your team or you're a free agent.
You get that money somewhere else. But, you know, the market will eventually, you know, meet where your skill level is. But if you sign that rookie contract, you have to you're that's that's what you're going to get paid no matter if you outperform or not. Right. And sometimes they'll renegotiate. You know what I'm saying? And the team pays the rookie minimum to a guy who may lead the league in rushing his second year. But also think about all the guys who signed a then multimillion dollar contract and got injured or were boss, that the team completely takes a bath on that one.
So the Jamarcus Russell phenomenon. Yes, there's a lot of yin and yang. I do. I will say this about Chappelle. He's starting to border on Lenny Bruce territory, which is like he is so transend comedy now that he's now just sitting up there pulling up a chair and talking and at all airing grievances. He's a multi million dollar, multi million dollar. Oh, he is. His deal was reportedly twenty million per special and his release five specials.
All right. So that gets us to a hundred million bucks.
And remember, he's not traveling for this talk about building our platform. He's doing this on his own property on a stage in is what backyard?
And I'm just saying there is a little. We're getting into a little danger zone where I feel Chapell should get back and get into more jokes and a little less our stories, but I know, again, we're we're getting into some dangerous water. That's the way that's the way I feel about it. All right. Let me hit meter here. Holidays are now here. People are hanging out now. You got to cook at home because there's no more eating outside at a restaurant if you're out here in Los Angeles for sure.
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I talked to Dr. Drew today. Speaking of outdoor eating, I went to the Chinese food place that was near my house last night and all their big tents. This is a really nice restaurant with big banquette booths and live music and a really good place to go to go eat great atmosphere. And it was it was meticulously maintained. Never, never spot of moo shu sauce on the on the floor. They had then constructed this in this giant tent in their parking lots, and then they moved everyone out into these tents and this outdoor patio area.
And when I went there last night, the whole place was torn apart and there was just like tape everywhere and inside inside the restaurant, it just looked like somebody lit off a bomb. It was like furniture stacked this way, used that way. It's like a blockade. The whole place was just turned over. The tent was gone. The parking lot, all the patio stuff was all taken apart. There was like tape on the ground with arrows, you know, in and out.
And all anyone could do was stand in line and pick up their Chinese food to eat at home indoors. And then I was talking to Dr. Drew about this earlier today, and I said, what is going on with the outdoor dining? I thought this was the solution. There are some big transmission from outdoor dining. And he's like, now there's not three percent. There's just about a hundred percent. I just decided to do it. Like, why?
Why would they do that? And it's like, I don't know the I don't know what they're based. They're not basing it on anything. They're just doing it. So these fucking beleaguered restaurants that already were spending tons of money that they didn't have, putting up tents in Lucite barriers and spreading shit around or putting up their heads on the sidewalk and then putting the canopy and doing all the thousands of dollars they all spent. They now have to all tear it down.
It's insane based on an insane woman who wasn't voted in, Barbara Ferrer, who's not a doctor, certainly not a physician, not a physician, not infectious disease, just a handful of nut jobs are just calling policy for for the entire state. Yes, right.
I actually read the article and it's even more infuriating that I hesitate to even tell you. But it's something I'm going to give the number exactly wrong. But it's something like out of the twenty five hundred cases that I can trace back to restaurants, to diet, to restaurant, to people are actually dining there. Something like twenty four.
Eighty eight. I'd like to know all the 12 are traced back to the staff because they're inside, they're inside the kitchen, they're in the right place where they're exchanging the air. They're not outside. I know what is going on. Why are we putting up with it. And Dr. Drew is saying that now. Doesn't that sound nice? I, I think I'll paraphrase, but he's saying a group of people from Amitay sorry, not Emet, from Jet from JPL.
Maybe it's. Oh, no, maybe it was Caltech or JPL. I can't remember both or something whether they're going to put together like a blue ribbon panel to study things and then figure out whether we should do them or not. I think the council, L.A. and Garcetti and Gavin Newsom are saying, no thanks, but we have one smartest people in the state. Yes, we have one nutty, which is just like setting policy for every one of these poor restaurants.
I don't know why they do it. I would just defy the government and and say, fuck it. But you know what? I also realized I came up with this theory, which Dr. Drew approved of. So I keep saying why, you know, the government tells you to move out to the parking lot through great effort and expense. You construct all these tents and do all the stuff and you comply with everything and you move out to the parking lot and then they change their mind and tell you to tear it all down on the eve of Thanksgiving and all the all the meals you could be selling and as if things weren't hard enough, not being able to go inside.
Fine. So why why are they complying? Like, why? Why is there just a big mass uprising where people own restaurants? Just go, fuck you, Garcetti, fuck you, mayor or governor, we're just going to do whatever we want. You know what I'm saying to Drew? If you are a business and you're a small business and your food, your business involves food, your restaurant in Los Angeles, you have to go through so much red tape, you have to get so many certificates.
There's all the health inspectors and building and safety and all the employee shit, all the stuff. Your relationship is so tenuous, you've had to do so much compliance. You just comply, comply, comply, comply. That the bridge from all the crazy overregulation that we've always talked about in in Los Angeles County, the bridge to get from there to we will just shut your ass down is a small bridge. Now, there's not much of a bridge if you think about it.
Right. Look at let's just pretend this is Texas. Nineteen fifty seven and you tell every restaurant, sorry, shut it down. They're going to go fuck you. That would be fuck you, because they didn't get the bridge built, if you went to Los Angeles in nineteen fifty seven, they would say, fuck you because they didn't build the bridge there. So there's so much overreach. There's so much bureaucracy, there's so much regulation, there's so many hoops to jump through and there's so many certificates to earn and so many people not to get on the wrong side of that.
By the time you get there, you're like a fucking battered wife. You just you just don't want to deal with it because it upset them because there's no way they would get from this crazy fucking which Barbara Pfarrer telling everyone to shut it down. If you tried that in the 50s, everyone just go fuck you and I'll be on the roof with my gun. That's where we would be in the 50s. But they fucking worked people so hard to the body for so many years with so much regulation that they're just in compliance mode.
They're now in broken populist mode. They're they're broken. They're like, fuck it, we've got to do what they tell us to do. If they told them to drop and give them twenty five push ups, they would just do it, just do it.
And guess how many people this is going to affect because I have the number. All right. Let's hear on the air about approximately how many people are screwed because of these restaurants shutting down in L.A. County. I have no idea.
There's got to be a million restaurants. Seven hundred and fifty thousand people.
Right. But accordant includes I mean, people don't people don't realize the reach of a restaurant, you know, the produce people and all that food that's just going to go bad and go to waste. It's insane.
Well, it's not nuts, evidently, for Dr. Drew told me Pasadena just went fuck off. We're just standing in Long Beach. All right. Everybody should just stay open. Why are you listening? These fucking people how many times I have to say this, there's something wrong with them. It's established. Don't do it. Just don't do it. Just stay open. What are you going to do? What if everyone said we're never going to pay another parking ticket?
Do you think they could enforce that? Do you think it's possible they can't enforce any of this stuff? See what they do in Pasadena? They're not going to do anything. They can't do anything when they tell the fucking sheriffs, hey, once you enforce these family gatherings for Thanksgiving, the sheriffs go now and that's it. There's nothing they can do. Right? I don't know.
All the Riverside, L.A. County, Orange County, San Bernardino, all the sheriffs said no and and made an extra good an extra bonus point saying you don't think that the population hates us enough right now after all the riots and the looting and now you want to take them down on the street for not wearing a mask, you're insane.
Well, the good people need to rise up and a little civil disobedience. Hey, remember remember the bumper stickers? I think the bumper stickers I used to read, I, I think during the Bush administration, which is dissent, is patriotic. Oh, yes. It's to see a lot of those. They all went away when Obama got in office. But when Bush was in trouble. Yes, dissent is patriotic. OK, well, there you go.
Let's be patriot, shall we? Just sad, sad to see everyone at this local restaurant having to hustle around and knock everything over and take everything down and blow. All right, Gina, sir.
Well, let's talk about something a little uplifting because I think we need it. Spike Lee has signed on to helm a musical movie about the origin of Viagra. Wow. And that is not a joke. I really had to check a couple of sources on this. He made this emailed statement to deadline. He wax poetic about this upcoming musical project project. It was really long email, so I just grabbed a couple of sentences from it. This is the email he wrote.
He said, I think my late mother, Freshie, she would say, taking my narrow rusty behind drag and kicking and screaming to the movies when I was a nappy headed kid growing up in the streets of the People's Republic of Brooklyn, I did not want to see corny people singing and dancing. Thank you, lady. She didn't listen to my ongoing complaints about musicals. So finally, going into my fourth decade as a filmmaker, I will be directing and dancing, all singing musicals.
Spike Lee joint and I can't wait. And that's the Rodgers and Hammerstein truth. Ruth.
Well, you can no longer say anything's a bad idea anymore because we've heard every idea and the ones you think are the worst oftentimes end up being the best. And the good ideas don't seem to pan out. So you can never. Well, to just wait now. Wait and see. Yeah.
If, like Lin Manuel Miranda is involved, I'll fucking check it out like. Well, I doubt Spike's writing the music.
That's a great point, Brian, because I was just going to say. And I think I've said this before, when my friend who's on the inside knows all the Broadway people works in the industry, told me there was a musical in rehearsal at the time about like a rap musical about Hamilton. I texted him and said, that sounds like the stupidest thing I've ever heard. And he said, no, it's getting really good reviews. It's like, OK, that sounds stupid.
And I was clearly wrong. So is this the next one? Maybe I read that R. Kelly was going to do all the music.
Oh, my. Oh, yeah.
That is controversial. Controversial. Is he in jail? Or in prison, think he's in custody? All right. Gary says, yes, Gary must be on black Twitter or something. Gary got his fucking ear to the urban ground. He probably knows that guy on my American flight who yelled at the flight attendant.
All right, sorry, young money, cash, money, no. That's right. Apparently, music is being done by Stu Stewart and Heidi River Road. Walt. I'm doing really my ignorance.
I don't know anything about these people that run. I hope so. All right.
OK, so speaking of prison, Harvey Weinstein is spending all of his time in front of cameras. Again, according to be the.
Yeah, the convicted rapist has cameras recording his every move so he doesn't go the way of Jeffrey Epstein, who still say allegedly killed himself behind bars.
Sources say that beside the regular surveillance cameras, a correctional officer is assigned to follow Weinstein wherever he goes in this correctional facility.
This is cruel and unusual, and I'll tell you why. It's definitely unusual. Yes.
When you're Weinstein and you're in prison, all you got is your spank bank and your jaw.
I guess that's all you got. That's all you got. That's all you got in prison is beating off. What else is this referring to be brought in? Yes.
I mean, that's all you can find an audience from what we know.
Yeah. I feel like, you know, boss, the big boss man is probably not as inspirational as one of the starlets is a young starlet. I mean, the actual wrestler. The big boss man. Yes, I did. Put it out, put him out of picture up and you'll know why this man, meaning Adam Carolla, deserves an award, because, as Brian knows, I've sort of rudimentary understanding of 80s, 90s pro wrestling. I don't know I don't know all the characters, but I did a deep hole to try to think of a guy in a prison guards or sheriff's outfit that could that would be your worst inspiration for beating off going to flat tire to go see his if he's a perfect example.
Yeah, there is.
Imagine that guy staring at you. He's pointing at big boss man on his lapel, on his pocket of his prison outfit. He's holding that fucking nightstick and he's just staring at you with those crazed eyes all the time.
It's a motorcycle jacket. Yeah. He's a big boss man. I haven't I know a lot about 80s wrestling, I don't remember him. He maybe came out around like 1998 three.
I don't even know he's the big boss man, but he's got a leather motorcycle jacket. So what is his motorcycle cost? His private security that.
No, he goes under deep cover. Yeah, I'm saying that is a boner killer, big boss man staring at you when you try to peel one off. No, thank you.
All right, Chris. Now on to the side by side because I want to put it to these guys, big boss man or Bambam Beaglehole.
I'm all for but for watching it. No, true. No, no. But Bambam would be a disaster to beat off to. There's no doubt. And so would the undertaker and all of them, the junkyard dog. They'd all be just going to say, don't forget the junkyard dog, fabulous moolah.
They're one of the all the only female make the list. Even she would be a tough squeeze. But the reason I talk me represent Nashville.
He he well, all these guys would be a disaster to beat off in front of. I just picked the big boss man because he's wearing half a prison guard outfit. I gave him some contacts that he actually was a corrections officer. He was a Karasinski. That's who the character's based off of. Get out of here. Yeah, you're too good. I've never felt more vindicated. Wait till I go home and tell everybody, guess what happened. Guess what?
You know the big boss man. Oh, yeah. OK, well, he was a 90s. Are we going to look him up? All right.
But, you know, Weinstein was I knew that this would be the perfect story of no one giving two fucking shits about me. Understand? I'm clairvoyant over here because I picked the big boss man and he used to be a correctional officer. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, that's exactly how it's going to come across. All right, let me hit.
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All right. You know what else we got. Well let's stay on the prison tip for a second because this would be a very good time for Weinstein to reach out to Kim Kardashian because she is back at it again. She's finding her life's work in trying to get the wrongly imprisoned out. And remember, she did that with persuading President Trump to release Alice Marie Johnson from a life sentence. Now she's throwing her weight behind this case. In Oklahoma, a man named Julius Jones who's on death row for a murder he insists he didn't commit.
Kim met with Jones on Monday and promised to aid his fight for clemency in any way she can. He's convicted of first degree murder in 2002, but claims he got a shoddy defense and that the prosecution's case was thin. So she he is the new case that Kim K. is taking up.
Can you ignore a question? Does Kim Kardashian require any other evidence of innocence? Besides, I swear I didn't do it and I have a bad defense.
Well, I will answer that for you in the best way I can. So she's not just randomly doing this. She is going and I'm sure Geragos can explain more about this, but she is a loss on Saturday, not Saturday.
He kind of, you know, today disbarred for twenty hours.
But she is it's not like this isn't just like something she took up on Pinterest. She is a law student and she's part of one of the clemency project. So she's not doing this completely alone. So I would imagine, you know, the rest of the students on the staff, they got us for a reason. They got to vet these people because, yes, I was set up. I'm an innocent man. I had a horrible lawyer. Well, by the way, everybody who gets life in prison or that has set death penalty had a horrible lawyer de facto in their mind.
I don't care if you have F. Lee Bailey on your schedule. Yes. Yeah. If you end up on death row, then you go. Guess you had a horrible lawyer, Scott Peterson, right? Scott Peterson, we get it, although he's he's going to get out. What was he?
Who was he? Not on death row, almost completely making that up. There there there was controversy about death at death row and the jury. And part of the thing that's I'm trying to comb through my memory here is part of the jury selection involved people. They have to ask people, would you sentence someone to death or not? Because if it's a death penalty case, you won't. You won't. You won't. Then in your against the death penalty, then we can't have you in the jury pool.
Something about that selection that ended up sort of tainting the trial. And that's where Mark sort of resting US hopes. But, yeah, I think he I think he got a death sentence. But getting a death sentence in California, I mean, you know, I mean, look look no further than Charles Manson got overturned. Right. But he did get the death sentence according to young money, cash money over here.
Well, there is. Yeah.
And then Newsham put a stay on all the death and all the executions. It's you're not going to get its kind of academic. I guess, if you get the death sentence in California, though, Mark could probably tell me why I was wrong. Not Saturday. Definitely not Saturday.
Well, speaking of Scott Peterson, it's great that you brought him up because I forgot to tell you, this broke right as we were starting. So I don't have all the information in front of me.
But Mark could sue on Scott's behalf for another completely unrelated reason.
So a California prosecutor this is from ABC seven says someone has filed unemployment claims in the name of convicted murderer Scott Peterson and a few others, and they've done this among thousands of inmates. So, Secretary, I'm sorry, Sacramento County District Attorney Anne Marie Shubert's says at least 35000 unemployment claims are made on behalf of prison inmates between March and August.
And guess how many of those were paid out? One hundred forty million dollars worth. If we're talking about the organizational ability of this state, one hundred and forty million of those have been paid out. At least one hundred and fifty eight claims have been filed for one hundred thirty three inmates on death row. Scott Peterson being one of them. And remember, we talked about that dude, that guy who goes by NuQ Bizzle, who not only defrauded the government, but then rapped about it.
So right now, people sell cocaine. I just file a claim. Right.
So the California thing. Right. So this is a we're putting our trust in when it comes to open the restaurants. Close the restaurants.
Well, Jesus Christ. I know. Like, first off, what do they touch that they don't fuck up these these settlements? Bullet trains? Like what what's why should we be so exquisitely confident in the leadership here in California, in Los Angeles?
I think Mark would pick up this case, but he's right now knee deep in a class action lawsuit against the Don Julio estate so far served over served.
He said the bottle was too tall and appeared too easily. He's suing the pink elephants who said. That's right.
All right, let's bring it home. Gina, you got it. I'm Gina grad.
And that's the news that, you know, that was the news with Gina grad. Last but not least, simply safe break ins on the rise during the holiday. And that's why you need simply say forget 40 percent off any system and a free security camera as well. Again, get the 40 percent off, plus free security camera and to simply safe dotcom slash Adam. All right. We're going to do a stereo app, right? We're going to do some live question.
Yeah. You, um, you're going to get instead, we're going to take some live questions to those listening in, and you're going to just answer anything they ask you. All right. So we will bid adieu to Balde and Gina. And we'll be right back after this.