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Thanks for listening to the Adam Carolla Show on podcast one. More Jim Belushi, news and good sports coming your way first, Tommy John oh, the secret to staying sweat free this summer. Tommy John Summer ready ultra breathable underwear and bras, cool cotton underwear for men and for women. Like having your own on body AC unit made from premium natural Pima Cotton for enhanced airflow evaporate sweat super fast. I'm telling you, I go out, I wear this stuff, I work up a sweat, I throw on my rowing machine, I get all frothy and I just walk around the house and I do it at like eight thirty nine thirty at night and that's what we're in for.
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With great news, with Genographic breaking Firewheel, all those crazy Trump tweets give me no trouble in the Middle East. Celebrity Trump Meltdown News with Gina Gina. The news with Genographic. Rose McGowan making headlines again, calling somebody else out for their behavior in the past. She's now accused director Alexander Payne of sexual misconduct. The actress who helped kick off the whole Metoo movement after accusing Harvey Weinstein tweeted on Monday about the alleged encounter, which she says took place when she was 15.
We're looking at a little gif of her saying no, and it says Alexander Payne, you sat me down and played a softcore porn movie you directed for Showtime under a different name. I still remember your apartment in Silverlake. You're very well-endowed. You left me on a street corner afterwards. I was 15.
I like that very well endowed. I like pain. It's like talking about publicists, like what's going on in the news and bad news.
You know, some good stuff in there.
Maybe that mad. She went on to say that she doesn't want to destroy him.
She just wants an acknowledgment and an apology.
By how much different would you process this information from 1999 to 2020? A Rose McGowan's trying to get a hold of you.
Oh, very, very different reaction in nineteen ninety nine to the one I'd have now. And then what is worse, Ronan Farrow is trying to get hold of you. A Rose McGowan is trying to get all the fame.
I will point out that 1999 was the year that Mr. Payne wrote and directed election starring a young girl. Which what?
Release me. I would have been ripe for the break. So, uh, the circumstantial evidence lines up.
So what is his body of work, Brian? I mean, elections in all time. Great.
He's made some great he's made a great movie Sideways. That election. The Descendants, which I really like about Nebraska, came out a couple of years ago. Downsizing was kind of a bomb. That was the one where Matt Damon becomes I like that movie. I said, I don't know.
I just think I saw it twice. But he's maybe he's made some sense. And Ruth's a really good movie, too. He's made some great movies.
So what's she she's accusing him of showing her the soft core porn and apparently showing his his cash and prizes because she said you were very well endowed.
You left me on a street corner afterwards.
She had sex. I did something sexual myself, and she said she was 15, so. Wow. Build a time machine, boys, because that's flying now. Oh, my God.
Yeah, well, I got I mean, you have to have a recollection if you crossed Rose McGowan, right? I mean, there has to be sitting there in your head somewhere, right. I mean, you know, it wouldn't show a normal person would.
Hopefully this isn't a pattern of behavior for Mr. PENITENTE that he hasn't done this a number of times that I would forget.
Well, do you guys I'm I'm sort of the school, which is it's kind of the Chris Dilli away, which is something drops and then a whole bunch of other stuff drops because this these things aren't isolated. If this is your thing, this is your thing. You know what I mean?
Mm hmm. Reese Witherspoon may have a similar story for I was going to about who knows.
Liv Tyler, however, was so, you know, a young ingenue of the time. Yes, my my feeling is. I sort of hear the first story and then I wait to hear the pattern probably most clearly illustrated with Bill Cosby, right? Once you start hearing that pattern, then I mean, if I don't hear anybody else talk about it, I don't think it didn't happen. I tend to think it's just he's not that guy. It's still could have happened.
Jim Belushi is trying to rejoin us, I do believe. All right. So we'll keep all that. Jim, at the risk of asking a horrible question, oh, wait, where. Did you if you if you've been taken out to the public square and spanked for anything you did 20 years ago, has is there. Did you have some wild days that you hope people forget about a sordid past?
No. The only thing that bothers me is. Been divorced a couple of times, you know, and with kids, it's something I wish I was more mature enough to have gotten through, those kinds of things really haunt me. Did I mean their hand? First off, it's such a knot in this particular case we're just talking about, but I just mean. The general, so I guess there's two there's two categories, so you have the sort of criminal behavior category and then you just have the of the Times category, like we look back and we go, this guy said the word Negro.
And it's like, well, if that's what everyone said, then it's hard to bust you on the of the times. And there's a kind of me two of the times there's a kind of getting drunk, getting rowdy, slapping the waitress on the ass version of me too. Oh, no, not you know. Oh, no, no. I was.
Oh, no. Not at all. I've been in like the Midwest, kid, and I don't know, I will. Our next guest claims I was so focused. I mean, I'm so hyper focused on the work. I mean, my sister in law, Judy, on business. And she said, you know, if there was ever a past life that you would have had, she said John would have been a Japanese warrior and you would have been a Chinese warrior.
And I just attacked my work with such just so focused on it.
And I didn't I wasn't as social I wasn't like a party guy.
I mean, in college. Yeah. But even in college I was doing two plays at once or was running the technical direction of a theater and I couldn't even meet my buddies for beer.
All right. Sorry, Gina, what else you got? Well well, Mr. Bellucci came back just in time because there's been a new announcement for a remake of a movie that I know you all like very much and for good reason. Will Smith and Kevin Hart are teaming up for a remake of Planes, Trains and Automobiles, while written and directed by John Hughes starred Steve Martin John Candy as a sort of odd couple for us to become traveling partners for Thanksgiving.
It's oh, it's being attempted. The remake will be written by I Use a Car Who Credit whose credits include Brooklyn nine nine and the upcoming Hulu series WOAK.
John Hughes, who is like iconic movies for a reason, you know, Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles, so so, so many planes, trains and Automobiles is my favorite John Hughes movie. It's so heartfelt and it's a really good movie.
Yes, John. John, you made that movie. I mean. Absolutely. And Steve. Yeah, I don't see I don't know, but we'll see.
You're an actor, so I don't know.
Might be hard to do.
It's it was easier for me to do Saturday Night Live after John died. That would be to make like trains and automobiles.
My feeling is I feel kind of the same way about covering songs or sampling songs.
Just go make your own song and make a new song that you're not allowed to get famous off a cover.
And also, it's kind of weird that we're doing like a black version of everything, like we're just going to do the black version of this, but just still just covering and creatively, like a little bit of a copout.
Yes. You know, I'll give anything, anything gets a chance. But you know what? They're going to have an uphill battle dealing with this movie.
John Candy physically was such a teddy bear and you felt bad because he was he was so earnest in that movie and then like but he was also so vulnerable, like to Kevin Hart or Will Smith, who was a good actor, to even have that vulnerability where you feel almost like puppy dogs. Sad for them now.
And Johnny was Mr. Vulnerable. I mean, that was him. I mean, he was he he walked with a big heart and worse wrestling name ever.
Mr. Vulnerable is entering the ring. He's holding his mop and the tears back.
Everybody hurts. So and so.
Couple thoughts. One is, I hate you know, Candy could have been nominated for best actor for that role. And I hate the idea that we always look at comedy. It's like, oh, it's got to be serious, you know what I mean? Like, it's got to be you know, he was funny and serious.
Quine broke that with a fish called Wanda. Right.
That was a really that was really the first time, like a comic performance got nominated and actually won.
But you're right, man. I think it's harder to do it both to make people laugh and make people cry. Moment should have been nominated. John should have been nominated. The Animal House was one of the greatest performances ever.
But, you know, the. Yeah, Will Smith and Kevin Hart are going to have Jim set up on the set and their personal trainers are going to be four percent body fat. And it's not going to have the same thing as the big lump of love. That was John Candy. He won't be able to smoke. They won't be able to smoke like he was smoking like that scene. And one of the great Ray Charles songs, Jim will probably appreciate this, the mess around that scene where he's driving the car at night and you know where we're going and Steve's asleep.
And they put the Ray Charles song on and he's playing the air sax and then he's playing the piano. You've got to find that scene a smoking the whole time.
But and just a perfect cutaway or a Steve Martin looks and he's the devil. He's literally Satan. Well, that's yeah. The after the after he spins out of control, but the. The part where he's enjoying himself playing and it's a great Ray Charles song that it's a kind of a deep cut Ray Charles song as well. We'll we'll play the clip. Sorry, I love this. So you got to be fat and you got to be smokin barbecue to save one sleeping in the passenger side.
About the message. How's everybody doing the message? Now, when I say stop saying your leg and do the mess around you, Johnny is going to score early. You've got to be fat and smoking during this scene. It's not going to work with a chiseled Will Smith who's chewing Nicorette.
They started with the Kevin the Kevin Hart, Paul Ryan, but you're right now this man, while everybody. And the message was, oh, yeah, that was. I love that scene. You know what movie I haven't thought about in decades, and if we didn't watch that just now, I may not have definitely, you know, watch it when you're a kid.
I wouldn't know what it looks like now at age, remember? Armed and dangerous. John Candy and Eugene Levy.
Oh, yeah, I loved that movie. I like Eugene because he had huge eyebrows and he still does. And I feel like we're part of an elite fraternity. I don't know if Jim dropped off again. Let me hit a bet online. No shortage of action with our exclusive partner BET online dot agea. MLB is in full swing in the NBA playoffs have started, right? Yeah, they're up this week. Plus the UFC, boxing, NASCAR and soccer as well.
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I don't know where Jim is, but they make that connection problem, so.
Kamala Harris has picked her codename for the White House, and I have a list of the code names that many of the many of the leaders have picked you guys to pick.
Yeah, yeah. This is not like the old days, but here's the thing. It's a code name. So why is it being announced? Why is it in the headline? It's like to the point.
So it has pictures she's allowed to pick from a list of from, you know, security agents have given her and she chose Pioneer. She selected from this pre-approved list that she's given by the White House communications agency.
Biden is sticking with his former code name, which is Celtic or Celtic.
And let's see, Jill Biden.
She's Kapre. Do you remember Donald Trump?
I'd be fine. I'm picturing this. I'm picturing a scene where they're like, all right, Mr. Trump, here's what we got. You can choose one of these. You can go with Chunky Lard Ass. We got Lyor still available, Brillo head and Monkey Nipple.
So just go ahead and circle one of those and still think about you are just, you know, pops to mind.
Yeah, well, I think I think it was Viking or Viking warrior. What was it, Tim. Was it too was it like the Golden Viking warrior Oswestry.
All right. So that's that's not available. But we still got chunky lard ass lodin pants and loves to golf. So just go ahead and circle one of those.
Yeah, I think they used to assign the nicknames wasn't the fucking Cheney. He was angular and like Bush was like some cowboys don't play well.
I can prove to be a nickname like you'd get in high school. You don't get to do your own. You people give you a moniker based on your behavior, your outstanding physical characteristics.
Well, I can prove that you get to pick your own now because Trump's is Mogel and Melania's is mieux.
Donald Trump Jr is reportedly called Mountaineer. Ivonka is Marvel.
Malakas is rescue me. It's just as I was.
Eric Trump is marksmen. Mike Pence is Hoosier and his wife is Hummingbird. Oh, sweet.
Again, I'm not sure why we're announcing this, but those are their code names, their movie. Wasn't there a movie about the first lady that had her name in there I'm trying to think was guarding test?
Oh, test was test the that was Nick Cage and Shirley MacLaine.
He was like, all right, Nick Bellucci, her husband died, the president, and she was still alive. She gets lifetime Secret Service protection.
Yeah. Oh, good. Paul Ryan and Olivia. Chris verify it sounds feel familiar. I wonder.
There used to be about every three years a presidential movie would come out. I wonder if Trump has set the genre back a decade. Like, I wonder if it's going to be too distracting now, like Mr. President, it's Morgan Freeman or something. I wonder if it's going to screw up the genre.
Yeah. What was the one with Annette Bayti when she starts dating the president?
That was. Oh, that wasn't Dave. That was another one. No, no.
I loved no, there was nothing. And Michael Douglas. Yes, yes. Yes, yes. American president. Yeah.
Don't forget, the president has been in movies. He was in Homeloans alone. Lost in New York.
OK, got to center.
Is the movie star Tiger Woods not the best golfer in his house right now? He also caddies for the best junior golfer. That's Charlie Woods, his eleven year old son. So with his dad carrying his clubs and whispering tips into his ears, Charlie won a U.S. kids golf event at Hamet Creek Golf Course in Panama City, Florida, shooting a three under par and taking the nine hole tournament by five strokes. Tigers as Charley still learning how to play.
And he says he's asking me the right questions. I've kept it competitive with his par. So it's just been an absolute blast to go out there and just be with them.
Tiger Woods, your caddie, probably do pretty well. Hammock Creek sounds like a club with the slowest service in the clubhouse ever.
Like I ordered an Arnold Palmer like two days ago. Chill there.
We'll get there. We'll get there. Stir it up.
If I ever have some sort of a compound, it'll be called Hammock.
Hammock Creek. Well, that sounds like a place you could fucking forget about the world for a while. Right?
Just I just have a little bit. Jim Belushi, Keusch, little Captain Jack, and then just stretch out on that, that what is less practical in terms of thing. All right, I'm going to give you three. I'll give you three potential ways to recline, sleep or convalesce, and you tell me what what is the least practical, but which had the most promise? A the water bed. When I was a kid, people had water beds.
It seemed like a good idea. It's the worst thing ever to sleep on. And it had two people. It also had this big wooden frame around it that when you jumped on it, you always hit your shin on the frame and you'd sink down into it. You couldn't get off it and you couldn't get up without waking up. You mad? I get up in the middle of the night and I take a leak. I would wake my kids up who weren't even on the bed if you're in a water.
But it's like moving or rolling. All right, that's bad. Second choice futon. Everyone thought it was so cool, but there's really was a fucking shit show to sleep on. A futon, third choice hammock. Difficult to get on hard. You know, you have to sort of balance it a little. It's hard to get off.
It's short term recreation. You don't want to spend the night in a hammock.
OK, so worst to best a power rankings on sleeping. I have the answer, so I'll go last. All right, Gina.
Well, we used to specifically go to our friend Shira's house to sleep over because she had a waterbed. So there is some sort of a lure for the 11 and under crowd.
But I'm going to say as an adult worst, even though I love them more than anything in the world, has to be the hammock.
It's cumbersome. It's never as fun as you think it's going to be. And I say that owning two portable hammocks, they're awesome. But you don't want to sleep in them then.
I would say the waterbeds sucks second and the futon, just because it's flat and suspended in midair or over water, I guess has to win. Brian on completely opposite.
While you slept in all three of the futons, the worst futons, the stone worst, not least, is, you know, not the at least the waterbed has a novelty factor because I, too, was like Typhon.
My uncle had one of those things awesome. And I will at least draw a line between the net hammock, which is shitty. That's hard to sleep in the hammock.
That's like canvas. It has like the wooden rods that hold it flat. You know, I'm saying the one.
Oh yeah. I wasn't picturing the flat. You can sleep on that and sleep well. I disagree. I was going the exact opposite way because I own two of those literally. I leave them in my car for fun. Maybe that's why I said, like the blanket swaddle that you just sink into and it just rocks. That's the best.
My feeling with the hammock is when they start building the metal frame and stretching it and stuff. I feel a lot like the guy who's riding the motorcycle, but it's got the full fairing and the stereo unit and the weird training wheels that come down at the stop. Like a certain point, it's not a motorcycle anymore. It gets worse mileage than a Prius at that point, you know, and I feel the hammock I picture like Gilligan's Island, you know, stretched between two straight trees.
Yeah. When they start really coming with a lot of galvanized steel and you're putting it together and stuff like at certain point it becomes a non hammock when it gets stretched taut. Yes.
But in the desert near Joshua Tree, there's a place called Hammock Village and it's the most amazing thing you'll ever experience.
It's just those big giant like shade tarp things over you with various hammocks swinging around. And that's what success looks like to me.
I had to speak in a sleep. I had just tons of weird dreams last night. I was like tossing and turning. But one of the main dreams was I became I'm so obsessed with Dr. Drew and his travel that Dr. Drew was traveling. And Dr. Drew, his wife, is you know, she's nutty. And I say horrible things about her all the time. But she's a former travel agent and she's always taken care of, Drew, when it comes to travel.
And he was explaining to me, I called him the other day, it's like, oh, I'm just just sitting in the plane getting ready to take off. By the way, you know, the pandemic is bad when you're hearing about people flying and you're getting jealous because like, oh, you get drinks and food, you get to be left alone for six hours. And I said, when you got on the plane, did you turn right or you turn left and should I turn to the left?
And I said, oh, seven seven seven, isn't it? Yeah, it's a wide body. Like the last five times I've flown. First class is not first class. It's you know, it's an Airbus or a 737 with a rare move to seat. But it's not its turn right. It's turn left. You're in the cockpit. So I'm like, oh, you turn left. It separates first class. Right. There's a division there. And I was just sort of fantasizing about his wife making these travel plans.
And he's up there in the 777. He's ordering cocktails and everything else. And I literally just had a whole dream of being in an empty seven seven seven last night. That's how weirdly nuts and bolts I am, is a is a thinker. I literally just was talking to Drew about flying on a 777. I like that's what I'm going to dream about. Of course, we got in a plane wreck and everything else, but there you go.
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All right, let's do a couple more. Jenah Grant.
All right, well let's go into the wilderness shall we. So there's this video that has gone viral the last few days.
I don't know. You've seen it yet, it involves a bison and some people, I think maybe do in the Sturgis thing on their motorcycles. So I'll show you in a second.
But the week this weekend, this viral video that went crazy over the weekend shows a bison dragging a thrashing woman in a South Dakota state park after she reportedly got too close to a calf. And the footage of the attack last week shows the bison taking hold of the woman dragging her across the street into the grass. The animal continues to shake her and spin her around as these bikers look on in horror.
The animal ripped off her pants before running off as onlookers describe the woman unconscious.
An estimated 500 bison were blocking the roadway within the Custer State Park when the motorcyclist got too close to kind of get a good picture and get up close. The bison ends up running around with just her jeans, like hanging off of off of his.
Horn Tuscarora, really? Ah, there's there's all kinds of different video, this was the the most not to be graphic but but the one that showed the most, the sexiest.
I did not see this. Oh my God.
It got her pregnant whole and. Oh my God. Coming over there she is just doing so it's like hooked her hands and it's just swinging her around. She has no pants on anymore.
I like this partner. It's the play by play is really.
A lot on there. One of the very first man show videos like this we ever showed was the ball tearing the guy's hands off in the in the ring after they ran balls, which is crazy.
It's also once they hook something like if you hook your jeans and you hook your jeans just right, you could lift a Winnebago up off of those jeans like you're done, you're hooked. It's kind of it's interesting. I was watching a story or hearing about a story about a goat that, like, stole this guy's computer in Germany, was like nude sunbathing or whatever. And it's like, how does a goat steal a computer? The goat hooked its horn around the back for I think, oh, the poor sorry.
The poor hooked its horn around the bag. The computer was in and took it off. Thank God the guy was naked and chased the board computer back. But he got it.
Yeah, man, watch out with Mother Nature, you know, speaking or now speaking of that, one more nature story, a heroic nature story which you've probably heard the last few days, Shark Week, very real for a man in Australia who punched a shark in the face to save his wife. Mark Rapley and his wife Chantelle were surfing when a shark knocked her off her surfboard and grabbed a hold of a right calf raptly, reacted, paddled over to the wife, started punching the shark in the eye until it let go and swam away.
The couple mate made it to shore where they were met by paramedics and she was airlifted to a hospital for surgery but did not think about it. The guy just defended the honour and the calf of his lady.
You know why was a broken nose especially? I've always talk about how surfing is a way of life. It's not really a sport or a hobby. It's like, oh, it transcends everything. And I've always said, like, I kind of worry. I've never want my kids to get into surfing because the guys I worked with surfing when there was a swell coming in, they didn't show up for work. They were gonna come second. Right. And and to back up that thesis, think about this seems like almost every story I've ever heard about a surfer being attacked by a great white shark.
They go back to surfing. And I got to tell you, some continue. I worked at a Costco and I was attacked by a great white shark.
I would never go back to that Costco, maybe to, for example, if I worked at a toll booth and was attacked by a great white shark, whatever my job is, whatever shark went for, UNICEF, whatever it is I was doing, if that hobby if I went out to one of my vintage car races and was attacked by a shark, I'd probably quit. I wouldn't go back to doing that. These people all go back to doing it.
Pure soul surfer. I mean, that's how ingrained it is in them. That's how big a part of it. It is a life. Every time they talk, they interview one of these guys who got the two hundred staple's. And aside from the from the bull shark, they always go, Yeah, I'm doing it again.
I'm back there. This commercial was an arm. Yes. There I was compelled to surf as the shark is to bite them. That's right.
So it's a way life was Dan Aykroyd. The Landshark was Chevy Chevy Chase. Yeah, I was probably Chevy Chase. And it was probably one of those bits that. Was so stupid, it was funny, like you kind of do what a candygram collecting for Jerry's kids or somebody was definitely high when they came up with Landshark.
Definitely, definitely high talk. All right. Let's bring it home. Genographic. You got it.
I'm Genographic. And that's the news.
Gene, the gene that was the news with Gene agreed, last but not least, Geico right now that Geico is offering a 15 percent credit on car, motorcycle and RV insurance at 15 percent on top of the money, Geico could already be saving you if you were with Geico. So what are you waiting for? Go with Geico. There's never been a better time to switch and save an extra 15 percent. If you switch by October seven, you can get those savings.
Visit Geico DexCom to learn more and go to Geico Dotcom. Ed Calderone around the man who knows everything about what's going on in Mexico and the cartels is going to be on tomorrow. Good sports is coming up next. I'm your emotional support animal leave review on Amazon. I will read it live shows coming up. Tempe, Arizona, improvs, September 18th and 19th. Salt Lake City Wiseguys, October 2nd and 3rd. And you can check out our YouTube page and see all the stand up there.
And until next time, the same call for Jim Belushi. And who are we talking to? Oh, Brad Williams and Tina Groundball. Brian Sam Mahola. Stick around. Dave Damasak is back with Adam Carolla for Good Sports right after this. Broadcast on Sports Network presents good sports. I love sports fans. Welcome to the Humpday edition of Good Sports. Dave Damasak here, Adam Caroll over there lot. We're talking about football a lot this week. And no wonder it's because football, pro football at least appears on track and college football a little less.
So another edition of Hard Knocks in the books, by the way, how do you. It's funny that the Chargers and Rams are in the same city and they both wear blue and gold or blue and yellow, however you wish to call it. And yet the difference in uniforms is pretty striking to me now that we see them, at least in the practice versions of them with the actual helmets. How say you now that we have more time to react to this?
I like both their uniforms. I've always kind of like the powder blue and I know they've kind of gotten away from that. The bolts, you know, having the Thunderbolts on the side of the helmet with the Chargers are pretty good. Strong representation of the actual. You know, I'm trying to think of that. I'm trying to think of the team that has the best representation on the side of your head. So you have you have the Rams and you got Rams horns, which is good, but it's on the nose.
You know, it's like Ram and Ram. You know, a Chargers is good because it's Charger isn't a thunderbolt, but you still associate the two. You know, the Steelers have the sign for the Steelworkers Union, I guess, which is close to on the nose, but it's also good kind of combo. I'm I'm trying to think, obviously, the Browns are just brown on the side of their helmet. HOOSICK No, they're not.
Oh, they're the words. They're orange helmets and their name the Browns. Right. The the worst, I think the worst of all time. Would you agree with me, Shaq? The 60s and 70s bangles that just had block lettering that just simply said Bengals on the side of the helmet, like almost dear.
Do you like somebody who agrees with you 100 percent of the time or someone who tells you the unvarnished truth?
I want the unvarnished. Then you're wrong. Those are great hacks. Sometimes less is more. Alabamas helmets are awesome because they just happen. They're just they're just Alabama maroon or whatever with a number on the side. I like the number on the side. Those are great. And now we're looking at Greg Cook, the former Cincinnati Bengals QB, and those are divin. Sometimes less is more. Just the Viking horn looks good in the Eagles wings. Look, I mean, the Bengals need that dumb stright.
The striping is the stripe in the strivings. A disaster. It looks like a middle aged woman's clutch.
That's a disaster, you know, but check out Gary. I'm going to ask what is what is least what is less great of the 70s Bengals helmet or the sign for Waffle House? Because I feel like the same graphic designer did both those pieces.
I would say the Bengals is worse personally because I could at least argue that a waffle has many square shapes in it. Mu I never noticed that before.
Gary, that is the shit. The Waffle House sign is a piece of waffle itself. I never saw that before.
I never saw that either. I'm sure that's that's an argument I would make when posed with this Sophie's Choice.
Also, I would argue that the Bengals are more creative endeavor. Where's the Waffle House is meant for stoned people to be seen from the highway. You know what I mean? Like to. I am like that.
Well, you mentioned the freeway. It sounded like you were kind of describing the existence of the Cincinnati Bengals. Like this is there if you're drunk enough, maybe you could sit through three and a half hours of watching them play. And I'll also give you some hope that if that if those guys can play pro football, then then I guess I have a shot to I guess the best helmet for me is the Vikings, because the horns on the helmet like that.
Yeah, but you are also on the Vikings growing up so that also probably there's a nostalgia.
Oh, well, not only that, but I well, I was an East Valley Trojan for five years, but I was a Sun Valley Viking I guess. But my Sun Valley helmet. Sun Valley Viking, yeah, Mussulman, Gary, you can find a picture of me in black and white talking to my coach paddling coach Burr from like nineteen seventy six.
We talked about these these Southern California teams that you played for. My boy and flag football last season was on the Texans. Oh, wait. The Burbank side. I was a Phalcon sorry. Burbank Vikings were the Burbank Vikings. I was a Sun Valley Phalcon, but my heart held just said Falcons on it, just like the Bengals. Just say Bengals on there. So I got bit by my own snake because that just said Falcons on the helmet like Bengals are, I think a sweet looking.
I love how that looks. The exact same thing is what the Bengals looked like. What's up? What's the beef with that? They're better than that than the what you don't want. It's the same thing. I feel like it's those old I forget.
Was it sure. Or whatever antiperspirant ads like don't let them see you sweat. Right. If you if it's obvious you're trying really hard to be funny, then it will definitely not be funny. Same thing with uniforms. If you're trying that hard to stand out, then everybody's going to look at you and laugh. You know, there's something to be a little. All right.
Well, we don't like the new bangles are the new bangles. Still have the Tiger Stripes on there? Yes, they do.
They're ridiculous. They look ridiculous.
They look like goofs out there.
I don't care for any of it. But, you know, there's a famous it's kind of interesting because, you know, I like cars and I like an aesthetic and I like race cars. And I feel like the aesthetic for football helmets is a lot like the aesthetic for race cars, like the the this color scheme needs to move. It needs to go like front to back, like, of course, the Wolverines or something like that, like Michigan.
You know, they have to have a movement to the problem with the Bengals as it's just sort of all over the place. It doesn't have a direction. And there's a famous Porsche that is just drawn up like cuts of beef. And it's the same thing. It's literally a butcher's cut of beef on the side of the car. Or maybe may be it may be butcher's cut of pork. I can't remember. I think it's pork, but either way, it's called like the flying pig or something.
There was one from the 70s and there's one that one llama now. But it's disconcerting. It doesn't have a direction. I wonder if we could do an NFL. Wait a minute. The Washington Redskins should just be calling themselves the the the DC sausages. And we should just have the cuts of pork on the helmet, like the bacon cut, like, oh, he laid the bacon.
That was bacon to helmet contact right there. That was if nothing else, it would probably if you pump in some throw and the vendors should all just have the smoked meats go in, they encase meats, go in on the grills, make the other team hungry for it. Oh, yeah, there you go. There's your car that you're talking about.
Could an invasion with German Porsche nine seventeen with the probably German named cuts of is it is it porkers it beef. Still trying to figure that out because I think they call the car like the flying pig or something like that.
I don't look like I'm going to, I'm going to predict. But Schwandt I know from the Mel Brooks, what's the Star Wars movie that he did.
Yeah. Swansons a week. Spaceballs is a wiener isn't it. Is not a weener advance is a winner. Right.
So and it actually labels that on where was probably saying I saw sausage on the on the rear tail of the car or weener. Interesting.
I it is intriguing but yes I like your idea. And by the way, I think we don't talk enough about this guy. I think he actually played for Washington at some point. He also played for the Bengals. There was a guy named Coy Bacon. Yeah, I think I think that that may be the most leapt upon name in pro football history.
The back of his jersey just said bacon, coy Bacon.
If only he played in the Chris Hanburger era for the Ashington Redskins, then they could have had bacon and bacon burger going up there that Chris Hamburger was probably out of the league before Coy Bacon. It'd be kind of close, though.
Yeah, Chris Hanburger was in there in the late 70s. Still, I think it would be interesting to see if there's a crossover there. And yeah. Why they didn't cash in on that is why they're in the dire straits that they're in now.
Absolutely. It could be treated them differently. Yes. Gary. Yeah. I don't know why I didn't this didn't occur to me earlier, but it's the flying the pink pig or Operation Flying Pig, which obviously would mean pork, huh? Yeah, I, I interviewed you know, it's an interesting thing. Old race cars. They would just. Go out and win Lamar, and then the next year they paint them a different color and run a different livery, as they call it, different sponsorship, different whatever, and then next year they just run another one, then they don't have any thoughts about it.
Then the cars became multimillion dollar cars and somebody figured it out. And when I saw that car over at the Goodwood Castle in England, it was fresh off of winning its it's classic Lamar. They now take those cars, complete with all the bugs and the dirt and everything that's on the grill of a car that would run for 24 hours, you know, through the night, sometimes in rain and whatever all the bullying, I've driven enough. Those race cars, there's stuff all over the side of the cars, pieces of rubber that come off of other cars that just kind of scuff your car and literally just bugs stuck to the hood and they just put a clear wrap around the whole car and they just preserve it that way.
I'm not talking about cellophane. I'm talking about invisible, clear like shrinkwrap over the entire thing. And they just bring it right to the Porsche Museum from there like they don't. It's cool.
I like that idea. I would want the help if I got if I got, mean, Joe Green's helmet, I would want the the the battle scar marks and the hat.
Right. Yeah, I would want that. It marks. I'll tell you a story about that. Our next show.
First, I'll tell you this to very quickly. You were about to do it, Coy Bacon, Chris Hanburger and also right around that time, I already mentioned Greg Cook.
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Just to button it up real fast. Bacon and hamburger. Ten years overlapping. Whoa, from 68 to 78, they were both in the league, 68 to 78, there were both in the league, correct? Wow.
Copaken that's that's another conversation. But Chris Hamburger's in the Hall of Fame. Did you I mean, you were a kid, too, but I don't remember him standing out to the degree that I was like, oh, that guy. Look, I'm looking at a future Hall of Famer there. And then like 30 years after his career that, like, I just put him in such a weird standard that, like, nobody who watched them back then thought he belonged in the Hall of Fame.
But then, yeah, you know, I got enough water. Just put him in.
Well, Shaq, I shouldn't be the one bringing this up. But Jack Hamm with Cook and Hamburger all in bacon, we got to get them all in a smorgasbord of players, right. Oh, and you know who was along with Jack Hamm? Fats Holmes, who? He was consuming all them. The Bangles. All right. It's enough.
We'll talk more good sports tomorrow. Until then, for Adam Corolla damage, check out.
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