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[00:00:02]

Thanks for listening to the Adam Carolla Show on podcast one. Well, we had the return of Rob Schneider, who's always good on this show, and we'll have the news coming up as well. First, I'll tell you about LifeLock. Fraudsters are sending messages through social media and emails with a cash app scam. The message is offer free money via app to help during this difficult time. Don't fall for it. It's important to understand how cybercrime and identity theft are affecting our lives.

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Every day we put our info out on the Internet. And if you're just looking for threats and just checking your credit score, you could miss a lot of these hackers are trying to steal your identity. LifeLock detects a wide range of identity threats like your Social Security number for sale on the Dark Web. And if something goes wrong, you have access to a dedicated restoration specialist who will be put on your case if you become a victim. But you're not because you're going to have LifeLock, right, Dawson, knowing prevent identity theft or monitor all transactions that all this is LifeLock and see threats you might miss on your own.

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Join now and save a twenty 25 percent of your first year by using promo code. Adam, call one 800 live longer. Had to live like dotcom use promo code Adam for twenty five percent off.

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The Adam Carolla Show presents Rob Schneider's birthday cocktail party for October 30, first, let's see who made the list. Oh, hey, look, it's filmmaker Peter Jackson. With a name like this, how could she not be famous, Piper Perabo? John Candy is here. All right, stop. It's Vanilla Ice. Oh, fantastic. Someone invited Willow Smith, Mike O'Malley and songwriter and composer Adam Schlesinger. Not fun, Rob. Now back to The Adam Carolla Show.

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Not a bad mix at that Rob's birthday cocktail party. Good to talk to you, Rob Schneider. Nice.

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There was that picture from Baltimore who was also born the same day as me. There was a picture from Baltimore. My I thought it was O'Malley or someone of the guy. Yeah.

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But anyway, I just like the Orioles well, thoroughly researched and figured out that it's nice to see it's been too long and I am sorry it took the end of the world for us to finally get back together.

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The standup special, which is available now as you hear this on Netflix, is Asian Mama, Mexican Kids, Robbs new stand up special. Robbs also going to be in Nashville, Tennessee, at Zanies.

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I was out there and then maybe not out of maybe not.

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Yeah, well, that's supposed to be August 20th through the twenty third you go to Rob Schneider dot com and find out where he is and what's going on. Where are you right now?

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I'm a California refugee currently on the run. I'm currently a tax refugee from California. No, we're out in Arizona.

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So let's come out here until everything calms down. It's hot out here, by the way.

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I know. But, you know, they're talking about having to raise the taxes in California to pay for all this shutdown and everything.

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But the good news is we haven't worked for months. So, you know, that money we saved up during that now is the governor Newsom, just to make it up to us, is making it retroactive to when we were making money in January and February.

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Thank you, Governor Mike August. Keep saying this is what's going on. I mean, he wants to raise it to like six and a half percent or something, eighteen point eight.

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Not that I care. All right. So what it does is if you're paying, you know, thirty six percent in taxes federally, then you tack on California state taxes and now you're over 50 percent. You're well over 50 percent at this point. And I guess my question is, is who isn't going to move? I can't imagine people not moving now. I don't know how Rob's moving. Yes. I don't know how. I don't know how it works.

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When do these. By the way, the retroactive. Yes, they're going to go back.

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It's going to go back to January. February. Why stop there? Go back to like nineteen seventy eight. Just keep going. I mean, it just doesn't matter. They make up the rules as they go. It doesn't matter anymore.

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I and I, the one thing that I keep obsessing on as I drive up and down the street, I was driving one party system in California. I'm picturing everyone. I was past the salon and they were just had all the chairs out on the sidewalk, everyone just sitting, getting their hair cut out on the sidewalk. And I thought I I've been flying all over the place. I don't understand how you can fly on an airplane and you can't get your haircut, especially when they dist.

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everybody. But it's indoors, like in airports indoors. Yes.

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It's very selective virus. This virus, if you are if you're socially conscious, it avoids you. If you're not if you just want to go to church, if you're an asshole, just wants to go to church, you are. They know you. They'll find you if you're on a plane and the plane you the airline industry is not doing very good right now. The virus is like we're going to give you a free pass. However, if you're trying to do if you're trying to die, somebody here would like a little bit of a blond tint to it because they have a party that they're going to only do on Zun, but they still want to get their hair done.

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You can't do it. So it's at some point, aren't people going to throw their arms up and go like a this doesn't make sense anymore. I can't teach my kids I hate this.

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I can quit. I am. I keep saying shouldn't we have? When I was in junior high, we would we would organize a book drop. You guys ever organize a book drop?

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You know, the note would go around and, you know, they had twelve point five. Everyone's going to drop their books, you know?

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And I thought if I owned a salon or barbershop or what have you, shouldn't we just organize a book drop like, hey, Monday, this coming Monday, 9:00 a.m., just open. Just all of them just open. There's nothing they could do about it. I couldn't enforce anything. I don't I'm you know what's scary? The scary part is the compliance of house, how fucking malleable everyone is. Like, everyone should just open their shop.

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Don't you? Long for the old, don't you? Long for the old days, this warm, cuddly days of, you know, lower, you know, bend the curve, lower the curve. You know, what happened to that was like fifteen days.

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Don't worry. And then it's, you know, pretty soon it just going to be stuff us, stuff us. By the way, the lower the chance of the virus. We're going to have to put you everyone in a trunk on a car driving to Mexico. Just it's the best thing for you.

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Yes. I don't I don't I look the part where you don't want to overwhelm the system. I'm yeah. That completely makes sense to me. But I don't feel like some of these businesses opening would overwhelm the system. I'm not even really heard, at least in Los Angeles, of systems being overwhelmed.

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I've heard of and I like how they just dislike the Vietnamese people by saying, oh, you know, it's not like a nail salon. The guy in New Jersey was saying, like, what?

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Are you kidding me? These people I mean, very few people actually want to work down there in the area anyway. Let's be grateful to these people. And they want to do that and then all that stuff. And but it's important. This is a life. People need this. You know, my mom, it looks forward to doing that. She's 90. That's a month thing she likes to do. So it just kind of dismissed that these people are unimportant.

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It's insane.

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And to your point, didn't they at the beginning blam nail salons for this, but we never got any proof that this started with nail salon.

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We always suspected but never knew for sure we did the wrong.

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They did they took the wrong angle on this, which is like, oh, you want to get your cuticles pushed or you want to get your roots dyed. Well, you're being rude and it's not about the people that are wanting to get the roots died. It's about the businesses that are dying, who die roots, you know what I mean? It's the other it's the wrong angle.

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It's not the consumer.

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You you want your government to protect you. At what point do you say, you know what, I am going to get my nails done. I love you and thank you for your concern. I appreciate it. But I'm just going to take the shot of continuing to, you know, to pay these Vietnamese families so they can take care of their children. You know, it's like to me, I get it.

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It lower the curve, bend the curve, break the curve, sit on the curve, squat to shit on the curve. But let's just like when you're arresting a surfer who's surfing by himself out in the middle of the ocean, then it's becomes like, OK, what does this really, really about now? Well, I don't know.

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You're sending a message, but the message scares me. Sarah actually on the subject, Sarah. Are you there, Sarah, from a Nevada county, California? Yeah, yeah, you have thoughts on us getting rid of Gavin Newsom in 2000?

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Yeah, I'd love to get rid of Gavin Newsom. And I've been following Major Williams, and he gives me a little bit of hope.

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Hmm. I like the name. Yeah.

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Him. Yes, but yeah, I'm concerned. I mean, like what I hear you guys saying is like small businesses. We're a small county here in Nevada County. We had one death and an 80 year old cancer patient. And a lot of our restaurants had to go back to not having indoor dining. Well, these places can't survive on 20 percent capacity. Right.

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And sitting outside, you know, on a restaurant can't survive on 80 percent of your grandmother. No, no, no.

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You need to be packed whenever and whenever you're open to just have a chance of break. Even the idea of like we're going to do 50 percent, 50 percent means the restaurants, ninety point eight percent of what a business anyway. So it's like you got to give them an actual chance, you know, and everybody I love that they're at least trying to get people outside. And the people in Manhattan Beach today were saying, like the restaurants, can you at least give us an extra hour?

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Because they say you've got to all eat outside now, you know, and you can't get as many tables outside. You're eat on the sidewalk in the street. So can you give us at least another hour so we can, like, you know, try to keep, you know, living in doors and sleeping in doors? You know, I.

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I think it well, we yeah, we did have push back in our county and we had businesses that tried to defy the orders. But then now our local county is trying to implement an emergency ordinance tomorrow morning to criminalise these businesses that try to stay open, like what you guys are saying. They tried to push back. They tried to stay open inside for indoor dining and now the county trying to pass an ordinance that would find them up to ten thousand dollars a day.

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Well, here's that.

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Here's the thing. And thanks for calling Saras I was thinking about because my colleague sent me an article, an email to air an article where I think of as New York once assistant, hair washers at Salon all have 500 hours of training. Now, before you can be certified and hear some saying so is the bottom line. Forget about right and left and Democrat and Republican. Forget about any of that. How much power do you want your government to have?

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How much of a say in your day to day life? Like my feeling is, is I can go to a hair salon and I will trust them and their assistant hair washer. I don't need that person license. I don't I need I need a competent person. I don't need everyone to get licensed for everything. And all it's doing is creating a bigger network. A it's a way to get money from those people, obviously, number one. But number two, you have something to lord over them now.

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Now you defy the government will pull your license. So now we have a license that. So now the government essentially gets to say, I will take this away from you and not let your business operate if in fact you defy us and mean the thing about the government is if you just leave it alone, it's going to grow. It's there to grow it. They have meetings every day on what new ordinances and what we can do. We can all agree we want our meat inspected and we can all agree that we like or we used to agree that we like cops and firemen.

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Now we're just like firemen, but we cannot agree. But we can all agree that we like sanitation and clean water and things of that nature. But how much when do we cap it? Do we just let it go?

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Mayor Guy said Garcetti said this the other day, which is like he had a you you have to have a press conference. These guys are so happy to get out in front of the press every day with whatever. And he said the other day that he would if you're having a party, we will shut your we will turn off your power and your water. So if you're going to go over to grandma's, don't stay for the extra slice of pie because we're going to cut off your power.

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I mean, at a certain point when people say, who is this guy?

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I mean, anybody had any inkling that that Garcetti was like Joseph Goebbels or something, which is a certain point. You go like, that's nuts and enough with that.

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But also it's completely ineffective because I think with the fine print with that is if you're a multiple offender, they'll do it within two days. So the party and gripping party, that's all party.

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That's right. There's a ripper. So not only on one side, is it like, excuse me, what do you think you're going to do? But on the other side, it's like, oh, it's not going to ever happen.

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And that's a Mexican wedding. That's a tourist thing. They're going to get to it by the time they hand out the pajamas and the slippers. You know, they you know that part of the Mexican wedding now, I don't, but I like it.

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I did it last.

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You know, the Mexican weddings, they're just better. They last a lot longer and it gives a chance for the government to shut it down because it's that long. But Disneyland. I love Disneyland. God bless them. They're trying you know, Disney World is going to shut them more hours. You know, they're really trying. They're at Disneyland going. We're going. And back to normal, every ride we spray, Clorox mist in your eyes and Goofy has an innocent order, just come on in.

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You know, how long is that Jiminy Cricket or is that Mickey?

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Somebody said to me, we're not supposed to do. That's the way Robert with Jiminy Cricket.

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Did he sound no Mickey at all?

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Or definitely know what they sound like when Pinocchio several times in the last couple of weeks now he's a cricket, but he talks like he's like he talked about it all the time. He was like an old timey pug, you know, streetwise country wise.

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He was Jiminy. Yeah, Jimmy.

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Worked out at the end to too much matches.

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Brave people were looting last night in Chicago, Chicago, and they weren't social distancing like they got to tell me, listen, we got to keep at least one flat screen TV apart.

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Yeah. Give people one sliver of Christian Louboutin shoes apart. Yeah, but he plays your looters, please.

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That's back sixty, sixty five incher and would be about seventy two in the box with just six foot.

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You know, you can just lay it out way then you're being respectful to your fellow looters.

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I was, I was shocked. I'm not shocked but they literally just lifted all the bridges. I was just out there. We were just out there. I just walked the whole place about two weeks ago, just walked all the way along the canal or whatever it is, the river, and saw all the beautiful old bridges and the.

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Yeah, all the all the while they call them toll, not toll bridges. What are they they are the toll bridges, the ones that last hole, I know what you mean. Yeah, they toll bridges that were going to lift up.

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Yeah, well, what's a bridge? It lifts up toll. Toll bridge. Listen.

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Yes, yeah, yeah, the Blues Brothers, yeah, yeah, they just slipped up, they lifted them all up to kind of cut the city off to kind of turn it into a moat excuse me, drawbridge, a drawbridge or bascule bridge.

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Yeah. Thank you. I may have had a brain fart there, but I feel like I could have got some help from those group brain fart.

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Yeah. It doesn't come up a lot in the drug room. Have any. We don't have a lot of drawbridges in 2020.

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This a Game of Thrones. It's true. Right. Thank you, Jane.

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Drawbridges. Right. Yeah. All right.

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Yeah. Let me ask Matt has been on hold for a while here.

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Matt, you're our submariner, so you're. Yeah. You called and we talked to you about submarines the other week.

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Right. On the Navy, I was the submarine sailor. Right, right, I did that movie, so, yeah, you were right.

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We talked about that. It was but I decided it was the most true to life submarine movie that I had ever seen.

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And here you go. And you play you go play the actual right. Yes, sir.

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How close to Chicago are you over there in Illinois right now? I am right up in the suburbs. And yeah, you're right, the drawbridges are up. So things things are going on. Over the weekend, I was in Minnesota fishing, so I took a week off like you guys. What's it based on?

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Like, you know, the problem the fucking news is the news is like another black man shot by the cops. It's like, yeah, another black man who was shooting at the cops was shot by the cops, not another black man shot by the cops who were shooting at the cops. And it's like the cops shot him. And that's what happens when you shoot a cop. But if you're just going to report everything, it's another black man gunned down by the cops.

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It's it's it's not like they broke into James Earl Jones, his house and shot him while he was sleeping. This guy is a fucking criminal, was shooting at the cops. So they'll just go because the news goes. Another black man shot by the cops and then the black folks go, fuck it, we're pissed. And then they fucking bust out. They start losing and tearing shit down. And it's it's in a way, if the news outlets would fucking reel it in.

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Yes.

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Yes. If I could just interrupt you. I just wanted to know that we can edit out the part where I'm laughing at your jokes just in case of the so-called. I'm very sensitive.

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I'm saying I agree with you completely. We're to we're we're at a point where people are very volatile, they're very upset, and there's a lot of frayed nerves.

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They don't go to the original tweet at them. They just go to the tweets. That's down the list to the original. If you would like a shooting at cops, if you would like to report things accurately, would probably help not agitate folks to a point where they're going out and things could be destroyed or hurt.

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So I was a little yes, I can paraphrase from Fox News if you want, just to your point, that most most hadn't hadn't given this the scope on it. Chicago police blame the rioting on misinformation spreading regarding the shooting. They say police responded to reports of a man with a gun and were met with gunfire as they approached him.

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Well, yes, so on Fox, but that's why that this is from misinformation is a pretty key part of that.

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That's why African-Americans need to go to Fox to get their news.

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That's right. Now, you know. Sorry. So, Matt Submariner.

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Yes. Yes. But you went fishing. Oh, yeah.

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I went fishing up at a lake up in Minnesota. That was my vacation. So now I can't I'm coming back from work right now. I feel like I have to find out. The looting happened in Chicago. Great.

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You should be better at fishing than most because you understand what goes on underwater.

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You know, I mean, like, you have a you're like the fish whisperer, like you've been under you've spent half your adult life underwater, below the fish, below the fish.

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You would think so. But most of the time, Minneapolis people, they have 10000 choices because they get 10000 lakes. This is half the days. Learn them. All right.

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Which like Matt, do you do ice fishing, have never done ice fishing supposed to. But going north for the summer has been like a tradition of mine. Just go up catching fish and, you know, that's how they get away. That's my vacation time.

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And it's really just it's raining, but it's really just a test that Dr. Drew taught me to ask to find out if you're an alcoholic or not, because any guy goes I go ice fishing every fucking winter. Like, you're really just saying you're an alcoholic. That's always only one reason to fish on a block of ice, and that's to get wasted at noon.

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That's saying, you see, Makana has a calling.

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We take a Yeti, we take a Yeti cooler along with us because, you know, we got to keep an ice down. We take the ice with the G20. Plenty of cans being thrown back for sure.

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So you had pictures to share with us. Yeah, I talk to whoever's on the other side of the phone, and I sent them some pictures and they said, yeah, they're great and I didn't know if you had seen them either withdraw from our trip to the North Pole and a few. Yeah, if you want to. I don't know if they haven't brought up or anything yet.

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So, you know, we're looking at a submarine that's surrounded by ice that has come up through. Did you come up through the ice?

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Yeah, we we came up through the ice that we you know, when we were up there, we were up there with another British submarine. We were playing some more games and stuff. And when we went up, we were trying to find a place where we could, like, bust through the ice walls of water. We were like, yeah, let's let's let's punch through something. And, you know, you're the devil, by the way.

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We'll post the pictures up it and crawl that. You know, I've always had this thought about the military. And you think about it, the military sort of pays the least out of, you know, conventional jobs. You probably, you know, starting out. You're probably in the in and out burger might pay you more than the military. And it's also like what the guys in your high school did when there was nothing to do. Like parents didn't have businesses and they weren't college material.

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They'd end up just going in. The Marines are going in the Navy or whatever it is. But simultaneously, you get to be around the state of the art equipment that costs millions and millions of dollars. Like if you were involved in any way, shape or form with an F 22 Raptor or one of those Joint Strike Force, like you're flying a piece of Matear, a machine that costs two hundred million dollars to build and you get to fly.

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You're a you are you may be getting twenty two bucks an hour, but you're in a machine that costs two billion dollars and goes under the polar caps, you know what I mean? It's just like you're living this poor life with this crazy technology that isn't even available. You know, Elon Musk couldn't get his hands on the shit that you guys get your hands on. And so kind of an interesting life because back in the day, you were just poor.

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You're in the army. You had a musket and a hat, right. That was your technology. Now you're fucking around with this insane technology. We don't even probably know. Half of it aren't privy to half of it. And yet you're getting paid minimum wage.

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Matt thought less. Well, you are correct. I mean, we get government benefits, you know, health. But but you're right. That thought does occur to us all the time. I'm just sitting there. I'm like, hey, I'm on a nuclear submarine underneath the ocean right now. I'm crazy about so those kind of things. But then most of the time I was bored because you're just doing a job. And the way it's weird, the way life works on a submarine is you're working on an 18 hour day.

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So you get up, you do your job like I was in the SonoSite for six hours and then you clean or do whatever for six hours and then you'd sleep for six hours and then you get up and do the same thing over again. So every morning you every day you were getting up about six hours before before you had gotten up the previous day.

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Is the food better with the sub core than with the regular Navy? Yes, because you're only cooking for so many people and all of these guys come out of, you know, maybe cooking school, they're not specialists, they call them. And so all these guys are trained chefs. And so they only have to cook for so many people. And if you're working in an aircraft carrier, you're just cranking out crap food for everybody. But the guys that really cared, they they could give us a meal.

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It was pretty great.

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Now, the question for you, is it true the rumors that you hear like it's the air is so clean and filtered down there when you come up as everybody catch a cold, when they get off the sub after a couple of months at sea? No, they don't catch they don't catch a cold or because I think that because you're dealing with a bunch of guys that you're living with each other's germs just under water the whole the whole time, when you pop that hatch open, you come on.

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It's like it's like a a breath of fresh air doesn't even begin to describe it. Like the sun is on your face and you just breathe in air, not farts.

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And it's great to be here in the the submarine corps for the United States in World War Two was really tough because they weren't calibrated correctly, the torpedoes. So there was like a very high death rate or the highest, I think, for the armed services for the United States, I think. And so they were shooting blind for like the first year that they were out there against the Japanese. They literally.

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So, you know, I think was a Rita Hayworth that came up with a better design for that or something that happened. So but really.

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No, see, I didn't know that. I just knew that they were kind of behind as far as you know, especially Germany. They were there. You boats were just messing around with us. Luckily. Now, I think that we've got the best submarines on the planet. But, yeah, World War Two, it was it was a rough time.

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I've learned from watching movies that you boat commanders, German U. Boat commanders, are amongst the best, most rugged looking individuals on the planet.

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No one's ever cast the guy with a double chin to be you boat commander in Iraq now.

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Yeah, that was great.

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The greatest beards, steel gray eyes, like they're just the most majestic creatures. You've got to respect them, but they're good looking.

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Das Boot, by the way, we're was looking in the periscope. It was so square and he got to that they made it into a two hour movie, which was still amazing. But originally, Das Boot was a nine hour television series or movie, and it was like the most incredible stuff.

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They literally had a guy running right behind the sailors in these small you know, that's when they had hot bunks. By the way, Adam, you love this. In other words, you don't get your own bunk and you leave it to come back and you get out of the bunk. Somebody else goes to sleep in that bunk. So you when you go to sleep, it's a hot bunk. Somebody just got up. Right. So they so that's boot.

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They had the cameraman literally wearing helmets, you know, like, you know, helmets to guide themselves in, like pads because they're running with the cameras right behind these guys. And it's just that the whole nine hours is ridiculous. I mean, it's that tosspot is spectacular.

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Young Wolfgang Peterson wrote and directed that you want to direct many Hollywood movies. Oh, yeah. And yeah, I was supposed to do like like epic miniseries. And even the movie trivia down to is pretty spectacular. Spectacular.

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You just do just a quick correction because it's such a great piece of trivia. You're so on course with Rita Hayworth. And that was the name that popped in my head when you said that.

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Hedy Lamarr I'm sorry, Lamar. Yeah. She developed a radio guidance system for allied torpedoes intended to use frequency hopping spread spectrum technology to defeat the threat of jamming by the axis powers. Hedy Lamarr.

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Well, that's right. OK, I'm sorry, but yeah, it's easy to confuse the two, one of those beautiful women who ever lived.

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That's why I was like, oh, I got to look that up. I have to make sure that's right, because it's such a great piece of trivia. Well, I read it in part because she was probably painted on more airplanes.

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She was the bomber. Yeah. Was Betty Grable. Do you want another sad the sad reality of male sexual wiring is that if we went to a party and one chick was painted on the side of an airplane and the other chick figured out a way for the guidance system, for the torpedoes, we'd be like, let me I'll talk to you when I'm done talking up. This is painted on the side of the bomber.

[00:28:50]

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[00:29:17]

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[00:29:44]

That's m e r c a r i. Mercouri America's no meetup marketplace. Thanks, Matt, for those pictures and your service as well. Rob the standup special.

[00:30:00]

I just saw the trailer, which was very funny. I've not seen the special yet, but I shall watch it as we. As you hear this, because it's up and running now on Netflix, you shot it in Utah, Salt Lake City.

[00:30:13]

Yeah, that's where all the Filipinos and Mexicans are about as wide a crowd as you can get Mormons there. They're great, though. But, you know, it's like I wanted to do a place where I know I could sell out two shows. And they're really great audiences out there, really responsive. If you've been out there, you know, great audiences. They are. And so it's just shoot it and I'll just I'll just get on the road for a few months and really get this stuff down.

[00:30:37]

And then I did. And then we shot it February twenty ninth and then the world shut down about a week later. Talk about timing. Right.

[00:30:43]

You know, and did you have a deal with Netflix beforehand or you just get it.

[00:30:49]

Netflix was lucky because I'm lucky enough to Netflix to work with me on this and give me a Give Me a shot is special and it's exciting. I mean, you know, it really is like as a comedian, you try to get to a place where you can show your your act in front of one hundred and ten different countries all over the world. It's a dream. It's nuts. And most people the thing is, what I really wanted to do this was most people don't even know that I ever started out as a standup.

[00:31:15]

You know, it's like Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, David Spade. I mean, Chris Farley wasn't a standup. He was an improv guy from Second City. But we all started out as stand ups. And honestly, by the time we had like twenty, twenty five decent minutes, we were on TV or on Saturday Night Live. So that's a great problem. But for me, I always looked at like those guys that you really admire, the great comics of Jay Leno for me and Dana the great Dana Carvey and Dennis Miller and these guys and Chris Rock.

[00:31:41]

What an amazing hour. And I wanted that. So the only way to do that, you've got to hit the road and headed and hit it and hit it in six years, you know. So this is something to put together for the last few years. And, you know, I wanted to do something. I think people are really good mood right now to want to laugh, take all the politics and crap out of it and just give them something to laugh at for an hour.

[00:32:00]

I was spending time yesterday, over the weekend with the Chris Farley cousin. Jim Farley is now the CEO of Ford. They look exactly the same.

[00:32:12]

Chris is there's some some families have these like strong genes like his his brother looks exactly like him. And his hair is Kevin, Kevin and his cousin, his cousin Jim.

[00:32:25]

If you can find a picture of Jim, they just have that look. I don't know what I don't know what it is.

[00:32:30]

It's kind of they looked like they just had ten beers. They looked like and it's getting a little crazy. This is the first time I ever met Chris Farley when I told the. I don't I told you before, but, you know, before social media is just twenty eight years ago, almost thirty years ago. And I'm checking into the hotel because I don't have an apartment yet. My first real season is Saturday Night Live and I'm checking into this place in the middle of Midtown, a little hotel.

[00:32:59]

And I hear this. There's a hole next to me going, I need a smoker's room because I like the smoke. I'm a bit of a smoker and I can't have a problem. I want to. That's where I want the smoking room because I've had to pay the fine before. But just look on who's this asshole? And the guys look up the name. The name's Farley. Look upon your role in Virginia or Virginia. And so I said, Hi, Chris, I'm Rob and I'll be talking with you this year at SNL.

[00:33:21]

We go out and have dinner if you want to after this. So we went out to dinner to this place called Joe's was a Mexican restaurant in Midtown. About eleven tequila shots later, he's on the table naked, taking your shirt off, doing the whole thing, you know, with the shirt between the legs, you know, and then and he wasn't a famous Chris Farley. He was just a fat, naked guy on the table. And I just want to like, wow.

[00:33:43]

And I never went back to that restaurant again. They never allowed me back.

[00:33:47]

Were you guys? So you both had your first season. It was together. Your first season was far away.

[00:33:55]

Yeah, I was there at the end of the eighty nine ninety season and Farley came in nineteen ninety one. Who were you who was on who was the cast on your first votes, where the cast was the time Saturday Night Live were like the first half of the show is just showing how many people are in the cast. And it was literally like Senator Al Franken, there was you know, it was Dana Carvey, Dennis Miller, Adam Sandler, David Spade, Chris Farley, Chris Rock, Mike Myers.

[00:34:27]

Rob, I'm a huge SNL fan from your era especially. And that was a great transitional period.

[00:34:32]

Where was the Dana Carvey, Kevin Nealon, John Sweeney of that great era, and then it kind of gave way to this new era.

[00:34:40]

At the same time, they integrated you and Sandler and David Spade and all the all the guys that we know from the 90s.

[00:34:46]

It was just a great time. We had no idea at the time. All I remember from that era is people saying in the media how much we suck. And we weren't as funny as like, you know, Bill there. Right. And yeah, I said, well, I said, I know it's not as good as the first cast. I saw the first guy. So that's why I wanted to be on the show. But the first guys, you know, they're not here anymore.

[00:35:04]

So but it was a great place and we had a good run. And, you know, if you're a kid and you're watching, you're when you're a kid and you're watching that cast, the current cast, that's your cast, that's your job and you love it.

[00:35:15]

It was a great it was a real dream, you know, dream place to be. And literally, if you had an idea that Adam Sandler and I went out to dinner one time with our girlfriends and just we had money to take them out. And I just remember, you know, the waiters were being at the Italian restaurant Il Cortile in Little Italy. And they were the waiters were kissing our girlfriends a little bit like at least three times.

[00:35:40]

It's a bit much. So anyway, we said down the next day or then a couple of days later, Tuesday night, Adam Sandler comes in the room with Rob Smiggle and they're giggling and they're falling on the floor laughing. And I go, What is it? And they just hand me the script and I start reading it about like and about these Italian waiters being overly aggressive and humping your girlfriend. And I start laughing, falling on the floor. And it's like, what a great way.

[00:36:03]

And the next thing you know, four days later we're performing in front of all of America or whoever wants to watch it that late. And they're laughing so hard. The audience is Adam Sandler's basically in a diaper and Dana Carvey is humping Victoria Jackson on the table.

[00:36:16]

That's Kirstie Alley, right? It was a Kirstie Alley.

[00:36:18]

And I'm licking her face and I and my ass is hanging out and and Adam and I doing our lines. We can't even hear each other with three feet apart. And they're just laughing. We just had to look like, oh, this is good.

[00:36:28]

You know, it's a really cool part of comedy and the creative process because I didn't do SNL, but when I did The Man Show, we did a bunch of sketches, you know, and we do commercial parodies and stuff like you just go into work. And I'd go, you know, when I lived in La Crescenta with my two roommates, I had one roommate who on his nightstand in his nightstand was like handcuffs, jugs magazine and a pistol.

[00:36:59]

And his parents lived in Philadelphia and they worshipped him. They adored him. And I always used to tell them, hey, man, if something ever happens to you, I'll get to that night stand before your mom does your cover, you know what I mean?

[00:37:15]

And I then turned it into a bit like we made up a whole bit about, you know, you guys know the bet, Rob probably doesn't. But it's called rest. Sure. It's like a service that gets to your apartment before your parents do.

[00:37:27]

And we made a funny bit out, but it was just it was a bit you know, it was based on like you'd have all these ideas of like, oh, I used to kid about this and I said that now. And then you just go in and you do exactly what you guys did with the Italian food place, which turned it into a bet.

[00:37:44]

There was this one thing that happened to me that I thought like sometimes especially like to me, sleep deprivation, sleep deprivation before you're you're the structural side of your brain, the left side wakes up. You know, there's a little crazy part here. Before you had your coffee in the creative side kind of sneaking out, you wouldn't get away with, you know, which is also the drug addict part of your brain, by the way. But so am I mixing.

[00:38:06]

And I haven't slept in and flying out to New York and from California. And I thought, well, you know what? If I'm naked right now, what would that be like? And then next thing I know, I did a character called the Sensitive Naked Man who everyone was freaked out by this guy because he was naked. But like he thought it was it was them, not him, you know, and it was just a dumb little thing.

[00:38:23]

The next, you know, it's on TV. But like another thing was I walk into the store in upstate New York and everything in there look like with my older brother would use the hide as we, you know, but we didn't.

[00:38:35]

And so I just I took it up to the counter like an idiot, you know, like the where is the we go in here. It's like a little African drama or something. And she looked at me like I was an idiot. Now, the next thing you know, you go back and SNL, it was like we had an African antiquities store where everything is, where, you know, you can hide your weed. This is a Senegalese lute.

[00:38:50]

It's called from Deerwood. You make one every seven years use. What do you use it for? Jews were fertility rituals. What do I do with it? You put your weed in there.

[00:38:58]

So, I mean, it's that. The silly stuff, the silly is king, whatever is silly is the best always, and in it it has to be based in something like there has to be a truth, a kind of a grounding, a kind of is as absurd as it may sound. You have to kind of go, yeah, I got that older brother who does that as well.

[00:39:20]

We have a picture of Farley and his cousins with picture, Jim Farley, who's going to start looking at it.

[00:39:26]

Oh, there you go. So that's a handsome Farley van down by the river, but he's got the eyes or the mouth or nose. It's just that's not even his brother. That's his cousin. Like, that's all I know.

[00:39:41]

That's a serious gene. All right.

[00:39:43]

We're we're going to do a very, very powerful drinking gene.

[00:39:47]

We're going to do well.

[00:39:50]

It's funny, because I was I was literally just doing I was interviewing him for going racing with that of Carl, put some cameras up, interview some guys at the track, blah, blah, blah. But he said to me, I like to go racing. He said, you know, some people, you know, they have girlfriends, some people, you know, drink some I iRace. And I was like, yeah, you can drink and race.

[00:40:15]

Like I'm here to tell you, I do a fair bit of both on a weekend and you can have a girlfriend or two to get in the car racing. That's right.

[00:40:23]

So we'll take a quick break. We'll come back with Rob. Will do the news right after this. Give me the crack news with Genographic break by all those crazy Trump tweets, give me of trouble in the Middle East celebrity meltdown with Gina.

[00:40:49]

The news with Jena grad, so these Chappelle shows continue in Ohio and he usually brings up a guest or two, and that's where Louis C.K. resurfaced recently at one of the Stand-Up events in Ohio today has been hosting the series. We talked about this a little bit called Dave Chappelle and Friends and Intimate, Socially Distanced Affair. And he's been bringing up Jon Stewart. David Letterman. Our buddy Adam Ray was up, I think, like two days ago. At least that's when the picture was posted.

[00:41:20]

And in a photo dated August 4th, it was revealed that C.K. was a special guest for two recent shows. And we have a picture here, Louie, in the middle of everybody.

[00:41:30]

It's the first time Louie's been he's shared the stage with another prominent comedian. Which ones?

[00:41:35]

Louie, you got to look like you might want to blow it up, blow it up so you can see it.

[00:41:40]

Oh, I don't. Yeah, yeah, I did.

[00:41:44]

Just did two shows recently. Sarah Silverman. Looks like she's in there too. Yeah. At the bottom.

[00:41:49]

Oh she is. Oh yeah. Yeah. I don't know what to stand under. Do you want to squat underneath Louie of America with your back turned on.

[00:41:57]

Didn't she have a story like that. I just yeah.

[00:42:00]

That she kind of you know she, she joked Yeah. Michelle Wolf is in like every one of these pictures. I think she's a main fixture down there.

[00:42:09]

The other picture with I think it was the one with Adam Ray, also Tiffany Haddish, who might be in that picture as well. She shaved her head. Yeah, that's that's her.

[00:42:17]

Yeah. And Jaleel White Urkel.

[00:42:20]

Urkel. Yeah. Anatomies. Wow. It's cool down there. Yeah, I, I don't know. I mean is, is Louie out doing standup or was he out doing standup when he did a tour.

[00:42:37]

He did a tour. Yeah. He was in Europe. He sold out in Europe. Oh Europe for sure. But he needed here too. Yeah.

[00:42:43]

He would do like clubs and just you know, kind of like, he's like I'm going to be here, I'm going to be performing for five minutes, whoever shows up and it would sell out instantly and pop up. Yeah. And then also he wouldn't give enough time for people to like start threatening the establishment to burn it down or whatever, you know, that they wanted to do to picket or whatever. And it did very well. And, you know, I haven't seen it in special.

[00:43:06]

I saw some of the older stuff of it and listen to it, at least some somebody. That's why you got to take people's phones away these days, because the next thing you know, we're still working out your bits. It's going to be on YouTube.

[00:43:17]

But yeah, he was funny.

[00:43:19]

Yeah, I don't I don't I mean, has it been how many has it been three or four years. You got kind of outed.

[00:43:26]

Yeah. And almost three.

[00:43:28]

And it was kind of weird about a Louis C.K., as I'm sort of thinking about this bizarre time we're living in. In a way he doesn't really have an expiration date on whatever it is he did. It's just kind of a slow burn or something, whereas other people have their day in court or they're let out or they're thrown in jail. There's a kind of a thing, you know, like the.

[00:43:52]

She's better. Yeah, she didn't fight it. There's a dividing line. We either get fired or you get divorced or you get in jail or you have a trial or you're exonerated or whatever it is like Louis just kind of went, you know, and and so it's it's weird.

[00:44:08]

So it's sort of like there's not an end point, but it's it's starting to sort of fade off.

[00:44:14]

But there's no clear division of like now it was there was like because I remember like, you know, reading about like Elvis and, you know, seeing the documentaries about Elvis, there was it's, you know, where Elvis was getting crap after the first time he was on Ed Sullivan Show. And then, you know, he's like he's too it's risque. And he's using his hips. He has a penis.

[00:44:33]

The problem. And then Ed Sullivan had him come back again. He said, I just want to see a show tonight that there has never been a nicer man. He's a gentleman, a nice guy. And you saw the relief from Elvis is like, thank you.

[00:44:46]

Yeah. Thank you. And then, of course, he went on to do pretty much everything that he was accused of later.

[00:44:51]

But but I feel in that same way, it had run its course, you know, I mean, finally, like, it took an actor, you know, to finally get rid of the the blacklisting in Hollywood. You just passed away. You know, the great Kirk Douglas, the Academy Awards said, you know, Trumbo wrote Spartacus.

[00:45:09]

I thought that was Rita Hayworth who got rid of that. Yeah, that was Hedy Lamarr was got rid of that robs on. Right.

[00:45:16]

It was Rita Hayworth who give you an answer. But now do we have the luxury of hindsight where after Louie's disappearance, for lack of a better word, we had Weinstein, we had Epstein, we have all this stuff in like, well, Louis, you don't compare to compare him.

[00:45:31]

Yeah. Those two, you really can't, you know, but but I you know, if I say that I'll get more shit than if Gina says that. Well, right.

[00:45:36]

But I'm just saying is that societally what we're thinking now, like, OK, you know, he's no FCD. No Weinstein, let him come back.

[00:45:43]

Well, I'll I'll tell you what. When. Is a very scary and a little bit of a jump, the shark as a nation was and I always think about Matt Damon because Matt Damon dared to put his opinion out there, which is, of course, Al Franken. The aforementioned Al Franken was not Weinstein. And we shouldn't think of them the same, you know, and then he got washed out in the cornfield. And that was a moment where he probably should have taken a stand and our country should have taken a stand, which is yes, he is correct.

[00:46:16]

And as I've told you, I have nonsensical discussions with my wife's friend once who was just kept yelling, I'd go, he's 100 percent right. What are you upset with him about? And she just kept going, just shut up, Matt Damon, you shouldn't be talking. And it's like that's when we jumped the shark were people that, first off, weren't involved with any criminal behavior, commented on somebody else's behavior, suggesting merely that there's a difference and a chasm between what this guy was doing and what that guy may or may not have done.

[00:46:49]

And that guy has to be silenced.

[00:46:51]

You're using logic and being rational, and that's against this. But here's the problem.

[00:46:56]

Here's the problem. The problem is you have Matt Damon saying something that's patently true and then five million people that don't want to weigh in because they don't want to get washed out in the cornfield. But my argument is, if those five million people did weigh in, then we could eliminate the stuff that can be both.

[00:47:16]

You can say, yeah, no, you're right. I get it's not the same thing, but also fuck that guy. I mean, you know, you can say that whatever you want to say that.

[00:47:23]

And also it's like, you know, the guy, Franco, whatever, whatever. I mean, like I didn't talk about any of this in my standup special. Not that I need to bring it back to my special. James, we talk about James Franco, James Franco, and he got accused by creepy behavior.

[00:47:35]

Right. I'm not I'm not saying justifying the behavior, but he got accused of this thing, like, you know, of like promising things to women. In exchange for sex and then after didn't follow through with anything he promised. I'm sorry, that just reminds me of sex. I just in general, I'm just you promised things and then, like, I'm sorry, we're not going to go to dinner. I'm tired.

[00:47:59]

I don't want to see you. You know, it's weird. My friend goes off the Franco thing for me is interesting because he got outed because he was wearing a button or boutonniere or something that said he was down with the cause.

[00:48:13]

It's like the time's up button or something. Right.

[00:48:16]

And it's weird. I process him differently because I'm like, that guy was trying to kiss some ass and not and and be loved by this group. And then he ends up getting bit by his own snake, essentially.

[00:48:31]

But for some reason, the guys that are trying that I have less sympathy for the people that are trying to sort of be down with this cause who then end up getting crucified by the cause. I shouldn't maybe it's inconsistent, but somehow his.

[00:48:46]

No, but it does seem like, you know, if you screw up, if you're a liberal, real liberal, like I'm from San Francisco, I think I'm a traditional liberal, which means you're an arch conservative now, you know, but if if you if you if you dare step out of line, I mean, nobody got I mean, no comedian was ever loved more than I think and adored more than Louis C.K. the media, I mean, in his pseudo apology or whatever that he sent out, you know, he admits that, like, you know, these you know, they loved him.

[00:49:16]

But if you screw up, you're done forever. They just that you're out. You are out, out. And, you know, I don't think it's fair.

[00:49:22]

Louis C.K. said an interesting arc because first off, at the beginning, it was kind of ignored.

[00:49:31]

Like no one cared one way or the other. And then at some point, he just became the voice of comedy like, yes, that guy is going to be the arbiter of all that is funny. For like three years it became this guy. I mean, we used to we used to book him on the morning show and stuff like that. No one cared who Louis C.K. was. He was another struggling comedian.

[00:49:51]

And at some point he became super relevant, like he just became sort of annoying it, like because he was the HBO special, one of the ones he did, because you can see him for three, four or five minutes and you can laugh about it. But if you see him for an hour, he really has great logical progression to those absurdity in these bits. And they have some universal truth to it. I agree.

[00:50:12]

I think he's great. But what I'm what I'm saying is, is there something that transcends just being good? Like at a certain point your band becomes Radiohead and then just everyone looks to measure youth or everyone else. Yes, right.

[00:50:25]

The last time I saw Louie was like he was doing his last comedy special that was on Netflix. And I went down and saw him on like a Sunday night. And it literally, you know, Sunday or Monday night. And literally it was like the greatest comedy show I've ever seen. It was. And he and I went backstage after I said, man, that was ridiculous. He said, yeah, that was so I just felt that was the electric, you know.

[00:50:50]

And then he did the next night and the next night it was like great from backstage and that was great, you know. And he said, yeah, but it wasn't good last night. And I said, yes, exactly. Because, you know, the super hyper fans are really excited to go see him. They rush out because I heard that first night and then they add a show and then the people will hear about it but aren't as excited and they're going to check their phone a little bit more, you know, not the Uber fans.

[00:51:15]

And so but you need to get those people to get in there to have that. You need to have somebody tell somebody so over and over and over again to get those people outside of your core group of Uber fans. But that's what finally happened with him. It hit like, you know, to sell out Madison Square Garden. You're going to have a I have to get a lot of idiots to who maybe don't really get it, but just pretend that they do.

[00:51:35]

You know what I mean?

[00:51:35]

I so on the C.K. arc, which is nobody cares than everyone cares, then he becomes the yardstick to measure other comedians against and then we're done with him and he needs to be shamed out out in the cornfield.

[00:51:52]

So cats a weird his his whole sort of life career wise is weird.

[00:51:58]

And also let's not forget my buddy Ray came up behind him and Jordan Rubins midnight roller skating rink thing when his shirt was off and he's all covered with sweat, just grabbed both of us man boobs and just start rattling them off.

[00:52:12]

And he just turned around and went, what the fuck are you doing? Like who are you and my brains. I thought you were Jeff Ross.

[00:52:19]

The thing that was so funny about Ray is Ray would be peeing on somebody explaining, oh, I thought you were a good friend.

[00:52:26]

Like, I didn't know like I don't know how Jeff Ross would have felt about that one either, but he just literally came up behind him and just grabbed his man, you know, not not defending him.

[00:52:37]

But obviously there was some not nice things he did, but the cold.

[00:52:42]

Here was basically not a sniper at that time, because usually sometimes it will be a sniper this time was pure double barrel buckshot trying to get as many victims as as many people as they can, as many as anybody, no matter what they did or the degree of what they did, or maybe they were just trying to get everybody. And if you that's why everybody was like this lay low, let this go. You know, let this this storm will pass.

[00:53:02]

It has not passed. It's gotten worse. But I don't know where to go from here, but it's definitely affected everybody. And how you think about what you're going to perform, what you can say when you couldn't say like it's nuts. I mean, honestly, like, you know, I was talking to I saw Chris Rock recently and I said, so what would you what are you going to be talking about? A stage? I have no idea.

[00:53:22]

It is crazy out there.

[00:53:25]

And that's something that we we touch on from time to time. And I mean, I'm just saying this from a female perspective. I don't know if this is going to ring true for you guys or not, but when I when you hear about, you know, even the transgressions like Louis are like what?

[00:53:38]

You like the chicken. You're you you know, you made her feel like she had to stay and watch you jurga fuck you. Like, what are you doing? You know, like all that kind of stuff. It's like, yeah, bad behavior, you know, now we all know about it. You can't, you know, secretly keep putting women in this position or, you know, Weinstein or whatever. It's not going to work anymore. Your secret's out.

[00:53:59]

Nobody's keeping your secret anymore. Bullies love when people keep their secrets. And I and I and I personally love that, you know, I love that exposure. It's like, hey, man, this is who you this is who you are. If you didn't want people to talk about it, you shouldn't have acted so badly.

[00:54:12]

But the other part is, is OK, when I am sitting here, you know, like, let's say me personally, work my ass off, you know, for their career. I have love sitting in this chair on this show, love my other job. I've worked really, really hard for all this. I think I'm a good hearted person, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. When people if I say something that someone doesn't agree with, they come after me.

[00:54:36]

Now, I feel like we have a problem, you know? I mean, it's like, why is the wave taking all of its allies with them?

[00:54:43]

Well, I think Matt Damon's his real screw up was when he said, hey, I got four daughters. I know. As if you need to have four daughters. Understand, like basic decent human behavior. Right. You know, no, no, no. I now that I have four daughters, I understand.

[00:54:55]

Like, now I read the preface, which is in my book with everyone going, like, you know, I have black friends or, you know, I'm a family man or I have a wife and a daughter.

[00:55:06]

Like, we get it. You're not bad. No one's bad. You know, you can have opinions on things and still love your wife or your daughter, whatever it is that it saddens me.

[00:55:17]

I really mean it that everyone who has to weigh in with something like police brutality, you know, got I listen what they did to George Floyd was wrong. And I'm here to tell you that's wrong.

[00:55:31]

There's no policeman should put their knee on a man's neck until he died. That being said, the defunding the police, it's like we get it. It was wrong. Everyone knows it's wrong. That's not no one thinks this is an endorsement of that. Or you having a wife or you having a daughter or you having black friends or whatever that thing is. It's so sad to have these things are so insanely obvious. You have to preface everything with here's who I am.

[00:55:57]

Just give your goddamn opinion. This is still the way.

[00:56:01]

And this is like this social media thing. It's it hasn't. And people don't know what to do with it. I explain. I think it's sad to see one thing I'm like is like when, you know, when they when they started flying airplanes in nineteen eighty three, took 15 years later for it to start killing people. Right. So this is what's happening. Fifteen years after social media, they're killing people with it will take a while before it's transportation again.

[00:56:21]

It is kind of the in a way it is sort of the new drunk social media because drunk used to be, hey, know what you said, you shouldn't have said it.

[00:56:32]

You said you said this. You shouldn't have said that. And like, when you're drunk, you're like, I fucking care. I'll say whatever I want. I'll fight everyone in this bar, like. Right. It's like kind of the new empowered drunk. It's in Twitter.

[00:56:44]

Veritas it is. Oh, like in vino veritas.

[00:56:48]

Now you drink drinking the real truth. The truth comes out. Yes.

[00:56:52]

The the, the Twitter is sort of is to drunk minus the hangover or the drunk tank or the cops are getting punched or having a bartender hit you with a baseball bat like it's sort of a it's like being drunk, saying what you want and never having to deal with the biker whose girlfriend you offended at the bar.

[00:57:13]

But but here's the thing, though. Now the people are interpreting like it, like they're hung over or like they're drunk. The interpretation from companies when I found out, like the guy in the galaxy from the L.A. Galaxy Soccer Football Club got fired for something his wife texted, his wife tweeted is like what? Or his wife's Facebook page, whatever. It's like I. I get fired for the wife, which he said that that to me is insanely out of control.

[00:57:38]

We got to come back and come back from the edge of the cliff there. Also, you kick a ball for a living, I don't want to sound like my mom, but I just mean you play fucking soccer. How much you know, how much wisdom should we gather from you?

[00:57:54]

Rob, I know you got a heart out. That was about five minutes ago. So I'll give your standup special a plug and we'll bid adieu until next time you come join us in Tempe. If you're in town, I'm going to be yes, I'm going to be doing improv September 19, 18th and 19th. They will be there live standup and podcast as well. So if you want to come down to the Tempe Improv. Oh, yes. And say hi, September 18th and or 19th, we'll work it out.

[00:58:23]

I have my Kittu off the air. Standup special, Asian mama, Mexican kids. It's available now on Netflix. Thanks, Rob.

[00:58:31]

We'll talk to you very soon. Thanks, Brian.

[00:58:34]

Let me hit simply say for them, we'll do a little more news. Most home security companies trap you with the high prices, tricky contracts, lousy customer support. There's only one that is a no brainer and that is simply safe to eyes in there. People, everything to protect your home and arsenal sensors and cameras for every room, window, door tailored specifically for your home. Professional monitoring day and night, ready to send police, fire or medical professionals, whatever you need.

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Dawson had to simply save dot com slash at home and get a free HD camera for our listeners that simply save dot com slash at home. Make sure they know that our show sent you.

[00:59:32]

All right. Let's do a couple more, Gina. OK, well, hey, this is crazy. This is happening right now as we speak. So of course we will. I'm sure there'll be plenty more information rolling in and what's happening just now. But I'm getting a notification saying President Trump has just abruptly ended his news conference and the White House briefing room has been placed on lockdown, trying to get a little more information. I'm now seeing a tweet from Emily Finn, who looks like an anchor for 008 and which I'm not sure what that is and what America.

[01:00:05]

Come on. Oh, there you go. USA developing initial reports of shots fired at the White House. Secret Service escorted him out of the briefing room. Our correspondent is currently in lockdown inside the briefing room. No. Sure. And that's all we know. Jesus Christ.

[01:00:19]

Let's see a Secret Service currently. Yeah. That says shots fired at five forty seven. So that was just about, you know, fifteen minutes ago from where we are. And we'll see. We'll see what's going on. You know, again, I'm laughing because I'm just picturing watching CNN and the president was shot. Now, look, no one deserves to be shot, but, you know, if you're going to sit up there and lie all day, I mean, a lot and look at the coronavirus, how many people needlessly died?

[01:00:46]

Jesus wish it upon anyone. Yes.

[01:00:52]

Well, Max, Patty, you can scour the things I'm going through video, please, because it's literally breaking right now.

[01:00:58]

So I'm not you will see more. Meanwhile, just on a side note, I watch Richard Jewell for the first time yesterday and. Well, that poor guy got a bum deal. You saw that, right, Brian?

[01:01:07]

I did. OK, good movie. I love the performance. But Poulter Howser, he was great.

[01:01:12]

He's incredible. He's and I said he has to be such a smart actor to pull off. This character is fantastic.

[01:01:18]

And I want to watch that, too. Now, I'm telling you what, if Richard Jewell looked like George Clooney, would he have been accused of this?

[01:01:29]

Well, it's funny because the guy kind of after him in the movie is Jon Hamm. Right.

[01:01:34]

If those roles were reversed, I'm just saying, like, I we don't realize what animals we are. And I don't mean that even in a negative way, but it's like we just go look at that guy. Look at that guy. You know, he did look at it. Look at him.

[01:01:49]

Right. Richard Jewell himself was not telegenic. You know, he didn't come across the screen is like, oh, that's a hero.

[01:01:54]

No, nothing charming or know nothing about it. But a good guy, I guess. Well, whatever. All right. I'm I'm trying to think of. Oh, I'll think of a name. Keep going. OK, OK.

[01:02:08]

So as I mentioned earlier, Sturgis is popping off right now. Thousands of bikers rode into the small town in South Dakota over the weekend for the 80th annual Sturgis motorcycle rally. Authorities have so far reported 84 arrests for offenses like now.

[01:02:25]

Hold on. Hold on to your hat. Drunk driving, drug use. More than 200 citations were also issued and police responded to 18 crashes.

[01:02:35]

Well, let me ask this. All right. What if Richard Jewell looked like George Stephanopoulos? Oh, if I'm saying I'm right at the time, will boyish good looks.

[01:02:45]

What do we would we go? That guy I know he put a bomb somewhere. Like if you pictured there, probably both about the same age.

[01:02:56]

I mean, I've been gone for a little while, but if you showed a 30 year old there like a picture of them at thirty one in five years.

[01:03:03]

Yeah.

[01:03:04]

You just George, you would not convict, right? Oh, no doubt. That kid now there's never diminutive boy next door. That's how Ted Bundy got away with what he did for as long as he is.

[01:03:16]

He did it. And who played Ted Bundy, Bryan? Like Zac Efron or something? Yeah. Oh, you find the prettiest guy in Hollywood to play, I think.

[01:03:25]

I think Jeremy Renner playing to you have to. Yeah, well, there was a couple Zac Efron did play him.

[01:03:31]

I think this one as far as the the White House, there was an armed suspect outside the White House. That suspect has been shot and has been taken to the hospital. And there is no word on why he was there or if he had anything even to do with Trump.

[01:03:45]

According to Trump, shot by the police or Secret Service that I'm now at the podium. Please have it be a guy looked like Louis C.K. and not like Chris Rock.

[01:03:55]

Please, please. I know nothing about the story. Obviously, I've been on the show for the last hour and a half. There's a chance he's like a Second Amendment supporter, you know?

[01:04:02]

I mean, there's no there's no rhyme or reason it could be one or the other. I think it's I would imagine.

[01:04:07]

OK, so. So the Sturgis event is ten days long, very little social distancing and mass squaring the virus.

[01:04:16]

Experts call this a super spreader event.

[01:04:19]

And, you know, there's not really been much of this in Meade County where, you know, there's been one covid-19 death, but those guys are all in really, really good shape.

[01:04:28]

So they'll be fine if they get the fucking cup.

[01:04:31]

The perfect. Yeah, but the concern is that numbers will spike after thousands of people come together, then they're going home. And so we'll just we'll watch out for the biker to see what happens. So I don't know if you saw this story about this girl, this this very sort of nice looking, studious girl from a high school in Georgia, not guilty and not guilty, didn't play the bomb.

[01:04:55]

She posted a picture of what her high school hallway looked like at North Paulding. I saw that.

[01:05:02]

And it's just a traffic jam of just a regular old day at school. I mean, it's stopped. People can't walk anywhere. They're they're asked elbows there, no masks. And she posted the picture saying this is what our school looks like right now. So instead of, you know, maybe fixing the school, they suspended her for posting.

[01:05:20]

Good. She's a fucking snitch. No fucking post pictures go back.

[01:05:25]

It's funny that that's funny to you. And I have different opinions on this. Please bring this up. Reasonable doubt, because did she violate some written, agreed upon rule? OK, so I can sort of speak to that. OK, that is kind of crazy.

[01:05:39]

So, OK, so the district initially suspended the student earlier this week after an announcement to punish all students who shared disparaging content on the school, on social media. TMZ reports that the school suspended her posting because she was posting pictures of minors without their consent.

[01:05:57]

That's what high school kids do on social media. And pictures of each other at school and especially school rules are rules.

[01:06:05]

So so the school authorities allegedly told her that anything that goes on social media that's negative or a like without permission will be there will be consequences. On Friday, the student announced via social media that they reverse the decision. But hold on. This is a perfect example of anti shaming my bathroom and me cleaning it up.

[01:06:24]

Yeah, Gurgis would be drooling over this. Right. How can you possibly prove negative in? You posted a picture. Just a picture.

[01:06:31]

They say my high school sucks or whatever. Well, if if if the picture if that's the whole thing, like the negative the negative behaviors on the high school, that's on them. So it's like it's like somebody, you know, it's like against, I don't know, be like a.. Taken a picture of your messy bathroom and posting it up there. But it's kind of the bad. The bathroom wasn't messy when you moved into the house. I mean, the school to just not doing their job.

[01:07:00]

Right. On the other hand, that's going to happen times 10 million all over the place constantly. And the kids are just going to they're just going to deal with it. They're just going to live with it. I'm I haven't heard any bad stuff coming out of the kids stuff with the covid-19. So I'm I'm assuming Lovenheim Sunny fucking loved it. He he doesn't have to learn anything anymore. He anymore. Anymore. Well he's learning is whatever he's learned at the racetrack basically.

[01:07:29]

But that's good.

[01:07:30]

Smart school of hard knocks. Yeah. Well you're lucky you don't live in New York because USA Today reports that all New York schools will be able to open in the fall. That's according to Cuomo. And that's leaving the ultimate decision basically to local authorities. But he's given the OK. He said last month that schools will be reopened on a regional basis if the region was reporting a 14 day daily infection rate of five percent or lower. That's currently the case for all regions, apparently in New York, which was one of the epicenter when this all started.

[01:08:02]

Friday's decision is meant to be a preliminary one as the first day of school is like September 10th. So it's still a month away. Each district has to submit their own plans to reopen. They're being reviewed by the health department and they're looking at probably a hybrid situation of three days of in-person.

[01:08:19]

Yeah, I don't I don't know what the hell my kids are doing, but I don't think they're going back until after the first the first of the year. I don't think. And it's also it's it's pretty apparent that the teachers aren't nutty about teaching either. So it's like the the teachers like getting paid to stay home and their clients like them to get paid to stay home as well. And that's kind of a that's a perfect storm there, but not a lot of not a lot of incentive to get back to it.

[01:08:51]

So I don't think they're coming back. I don't know what they know anymore. I can, but yeah.

[01:08:56]

You know, I was talking about like. I was we're having this sort of global discussion with Peter, who showed up to the track with us and is going to Berkeley right now, but he went home and that was doing like remote learning. And all these colleges were doing this thing where it's like, well, you still pay us, but you just stay home. Right?

[01:09:19]

I think there's going to be a change here. I think we're getting to the point for the colleges. You know, be careful what you ask for, because on one hand, you get paid without having to open up a building. On the other hand, you've just taught everyone they can stay home and get what you're providing from home, which means why do they need to pay for your tower, you know? And and so I think there's going to be a real change here in learning and especially like in college.

[01:09:50]

And, you know, ah, my son is not going to college anyway, but he's 14. Would he ship off and go to college in four years? It seems sort of realistic now. It's going to it's going to feel a lot like, you know, renting a DVD or something, like you could do it. Maybe some people want to do it or they like it or they like their Blu ray collection or whatever it is. But aren't most people just going to use their phone and download?

[01:10:20]

Like, isn't that kind of isn't college going to be that soon?

[01:10:24]

Well, this is your in 50 years we'll all be chicks. You already said this about college, but it happened sooner.

[01:10:30]

Yeah. This thing fast tracked everything. And I just I just wonder with what's going on on campuses and like all the crazy politics and everything, and there's also probably a large group of parents that like like I don't want my kid to go there and come back a lesbian. And I'm talking about Sunny.

[01:10:51]

So I'm I think I think this is going to end up again, like, I don't know, like we're talking about with going into the office, like Christie going in the office and how much more work you can get done at home and how you don't need big buildings and commutes and traffic and parking passes and underground parking and everything.

[01:11:11]

And all this a huge infrastructure world that really has nothing to do. The work is the person's brain and the computer screen they're looking at, which could be at a Starbucks or could be in your living room. All right. Let me hit Geico right here quick, 30 second Geico. Right now, Geico is offering an extra fifteen percent credit on car, motorcycle and RV policies. That's fifteen percent off on top of what Geico could already be saving you for your up with Geico.

[01:11:41]

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[01:11:54]

OK, well I'm going to shove in one and a half real quick because the destruction is for one.

[01:12:02]

I love that. I love that schools have the charade of putting the hammer down because I think it's in Illinois. They're banning kids showing up to their Zoome classes in their pajamas. So you showed them. But when it comes to working remotely, if you are working remotely and you're tired from working from home, Vegas has another option for you. MGM Resorts is hoping to lure the remote working community to their Viva Las office package.

[01:12:31]

Now, listen up the God bless him for trying to be good for a lot of people.

[01:12:35]

Insider Dotcom reports that guests can book three, four or five nights days at the Bellagio or RCA, use all the resort of many amenities during their workday, whatever they want to do, including taking conference calls from the poolside cabana, booking massages during lunch breaks, and you get an executive assistant that will take care of booking all your activities and excursions, and the price starts at one hundred bucks a night. So what the hell are we doing here?

[01:13:02]

I was talking about this with somebody and it's like, how does the executive assistant work?

[01:13:09]

Like when you have no background or no familiarity, you know, like seven eighths of what Matt and I do is based on he's got the numbers in the emails. Like I it seemed like a weird I mean, I guess they could help.

[01:13:24]

But your activities. I was going to say Christie has an executive assistant, she loves her. And I can tell you from the interaction, like the most valuable quality, at least for Christie, is just staying on top of things, you know, scheduling states, being on top of things and having the information at the ready. The technical knowledge is neither here nor there.

[01:13:42]

But what would that? What I'm saying is, yeah, I'm saying it's like what would if it was like Groundhog's Day and every day was like a new first day with your assistant, how useful could they be?

[01:13:54]

Like, sure, this chick probably worked up the street at super spreaders before they were closed down.

[01:14:00]

And now she's your boss.

[01:14:04]

Yeah, you're right. Is the one that comes with the room in Vegas. How how hopeful are that?

[01:14:08]

I'm seeing that the executive assistant who is a dedicated concierge is a real person, a well-trained person who is taking care of thousands of guests and requests before. So they're hyper experienced and ready to bring you some hospitality. So more personal concierge service.

[01:14:23]

And where would you use it? Would you travel there to do it or like.

[01:14:28]

I'm trying to I was trying to get it right. Yeah. Just for your stay. Just a attentive concierge. All right. Why not?

[01:14:36]

Why not? All right. Wait, you got a half one to go?

[01:14:39]

No, it was just that you can't go to zoom school in your pajamas because you lay down the law. Yeah, makes sense. All right. We're let's bring it home. You got it.

[01:14:48]

I'm Gina grad. And that's the news. Gina. Gina. That was the news with Genographic. Well, you can watch my stand up on our YouTube channel, YouTube dot com slash and Karola that will be there. I'm your emotional support animals available as we speak.

[01:15:07]

Nik Wallenda is coming up this week of the Flying Wallendas and Bryan Cranston of the grounded Cranston's we're going to be on later this week as well. Rob Schneider available sorry, his his stand up specials available now on Netflix. Asian mama. Mexican kids will hopefully see him up on stage in Tempe coming up as well. And until next time, this item for Rob and Gina and Balsan San Mahallah for The Adam Carolla Show on Twitter at Adam Carolla Show, follow us on Twitter at Adam Carolla.

[01:15:40]

You can leave us a voicemail at eight eight eight six three four one seven four four and take about at his new book. I'm Your Emotional Support Animal. It's available everywhere. I get the links that Adam Corolla dot com. And before we get out of here, one more thanks to Geico, do you own? Do you rent? What do you do? Do you want to bundle? Well, your own or your rent or you got to have insurance.

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