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Stand up comedian, writer director Steve Burns is going to be in here and we'll do the news as well. First, let's talk about LifeLock October. What is that? It's National Cybersecurity Awareness Month. Remember, if you connect it, protect it, take proactive steps to enhance your cybersecurity. It's important to understand how cyber crime and identity theft are affecting our lives. Every day we put our information at risk on the Internet. You could miss certain threats if you're just monitoring your credit alone.
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The 60 dollar value is yours for only twenty five dollars. Had to Karola drinks dotcom to get one month for the shipment's coming. All right. Steve Byrne is here.
Comedian, actor, writer. Director chocolatier. Chocolatier. The Opening Act is a great movie. We had Jimmy Owyang in here last week talking about it. And I'm tickled pink for you, Steve. Well, thank you. We spoke backstage maybe at the Comedy Store a couple of times. Yes, sir. We're talking documentaries and film maker documentaries. And I thought it's so nice. I, I love it when someone just has an idea that goes out there and executes it.
It's great when it comes out great like your movie. But even if it doesn't even just go out and do it like you have an idea, you write it, you get everyone together, you raise the money. Eighteen days shoot.
Well, exactly. Yeah, it was you know, my phone was never ringing off the hook. So it was one of those things. It's like I just got to put pen and paper. That's the way I get any work I guess, in this town. So it was it was great. But I loved I loved, like, you know, your docs are passion projects.
This film was a passion project. I almost think like this film. And Rodford could bookend someone's career.
Right. Because your mind was like going to Vegas for the first time when you're twenty and you're just like driving home from Vegas as that headliner.
And I always I always thought that I loved in Road Hard when you get offered the audience warm up because that's something I haven't really seen too often.
People haven't explored that facet in in feature films or or television. I think that's just such one of those roles that most people just don't think about. But I was glad to see you explore that in Rotbart.
Yeah. Audience warm up with sort of like publicists like people years ago, like they didn't even know someone. Now people kind of know what an audience warm up guy is and what a publicist. We're all getting pretty savvy and like Hollywood lingo. But audience warm up is either the best day of your life, like the drive to Vegas, like, you know, when you're twenty three and you can make to 2000 bucks a night warming up, you know, married with children or something, or it's how the mighty have fallen like, you know, washed up comedian.
It could be a bummer.
Yeah. There's, I mean that's, that's the Wild West of, of stand up comedy. You just never know where you're going to end up. And every comic has that story of, you know, last night I did The Tonight Show and tonight on X, Y, Z. And I remember eating a plate of of this at the at the Comedy Store, just The Tonight Show. I'm like feeling great. I'm going to go to the store.
I'm going to do a set. I'm going to go home and watch my set and you go to the store and just ruin your whole evening by bombing in front of twenty people. It was the same set.
It's like what just happened? What happened. Fred Willo WAAPA they have they have an audience warm up guy at The Tonight Show gets the audience all it's right. What year was that. And I guess obviously the Leno's hosting.
Yeah I did it. Yeah it was, that was crazy. I did The Tonight Show ten times with Leno and ever since I haven't done one talk show. So it's kind of weird.
Were you doing panel, as they say, or standup? Both. Yeah. Flown back and forth and doing like some, you know, interviews with Kathy Madigan and Jim Norton and stuff like after the monologue they do some fun piece with. Oh yeah.
That was during his 10:00 show. Right? I did his 10:00 show.
Yeah, I did it once and that didn't last too long, but I did it once and then bounced back The Tonight Show.
How so, Jimmy? Oh, we talk too. But you get a Bellbird Bill Burs and analyze it. Are these are all just people you put the the clamp on and backstage at the Comedy Store because it's floating around there.
No is literally like I got a I got a cast of skanky looking cop and it was just like, hey Sagara, are you available to me? It's like, yeah, perfect.
It's my wheelhouse baby. Right.
Well, that's my question then. How many roles? Because you wrote the movie, how many roles were written with people in mind? I'm specifically wondering about Jimmy. Oh yeah. But also all the supporting roles and then how many roles were like, you know, you wrote it. Just thinking is an interesting part and you offered it somebody. Yeah.
I thank you for the question, but there's really fantastic question. Let me get to that. Yeah, let me think. No, I never wrote it with anybody in mind.
I was just writing from my own experiences because I was Jimmy Owyang. I was the emcee, I was Alex Moffett's character for a few years before I got more serious, and then now I am I am I am Billy G. I go on the road, I'm a little haggard. I not necessarily want to talk to the emcee and tell him how I got started and all that horse shit conversation you have every time you meet a new emcee. And I get it.
I was that kid. So, you know, of course you want to be pleasant. But guard Billy G is named after Billy Gardell, whose own Mike and Molly and Bob Lutz have a show, because I did this Jamison Whiskey tour years ago with Burt Krischer Pecorella, a bunch of great comics, and Gardell was on it. So all these headliners and Gardell closed and he taught me how to be a headliner. And he said that one line that was like a great one hit wonder.
It always stuck in my head. It was, you know, when I was younger, I used to think I have to make them laugh. So I feel good. Now I know I make them laugh so they feel good. It's the best job in the world. And we said it. It always just kind of it just burnin the hard drive. Mike, that's great. And then was writing it, it was like that just came out.
I remembered it. So that is great after Gardell.
But I never wanted to cast just actors because if I cast actors for that morning radio scene, I'd have to go, OK, this what's this is what it's like when you're comic. You've been drinking since four to four a.m. Now you're at six a.m. and you got to tell jokes is with Russell, Iliza and Brooke's wheel. And it was just like, look, you've done this, you've been there. Let's just try it out. So there was a second hand with all the comics on.
It was a lot of fun.
What is speaking of the Comedy Store, what is the status of the Comedy Store right now?
Well, the status is that they have the bars open and that's kind of it.
I think they have like shows. Bay Window. Yeah. Where are they? Podcasts. And people can sit in that front bar and watch it.
Open air. But no standup, no standup, no.
I think limited like they can broadcast it on a screen or like via Zoom or something like that.
But well I heard that they're trying to set something up in the parking lot and then the city put the kibosh on shut it down.
It's crazy. I'm in. I heard you talking before I came in.
I'm staying in SEAL Beach, literally on the border of Orange County and L.A. County and in SEAL Beach with my wife and kids walk down the street, down that main street.
It's beautiful. Walk in a restaurant, limited capacity. But we can sit down and have a meal and it's nice little.
You drive a mile if that.
Right. It's like you're in Germany. Complete shut down, locked down. People look at you weird if you don't wear a mask all that. It's just it's crazy.
Yeah. Orange County, which I don't know how many other places work this way and I don't even really know the the legality of it. But Orange County is a little slice of Republican conservative, whatever, even though they're not even really Republican anymore. But it's like it's just different areas take on their personalities. And Silverlake has one personality that Copaken right. Yeah. You know, Canoga Park has another personality not desirable. You know, Malibu and and and Orange County.
It kind of has its own personality. And that personality is a little more.
It's a little more red than it is blue. Yeah, and so they just threw this whole thing. We're kind of going we're going to do what we're going to do. Yeah. And I guess the governor is like, no walking on the beach in Orange County, like, yeah, well, we're not going to listen to that. People are going to go, yeah. As they're doing the backstroke, whatever it is. So people are just doing what they want.
And I know that to the two of the guys I speak to most frequently are Mike Auguste and Dr. Drew. Mike August moved to Orange County and Dr. Drew has a weekend place down there. And every time I talk to those guys, I go, you know, Saturday at 5:00 in the afternoon, I go with you guys doing and I and they're like, we're going out to dinner. But outdoor now you can go in and you can go to our back.
When we couldn't do any dining there, you go out and sit in the patio or whatever. And I was like, oh, because I'm going down in my basement with a salt lick and a pistol.
And they're like, oh no, we're going out with friends. And I'm like, oh, by the way, they are thirty one miles away from me and there doesn't seem to be any difference. It's just somehow they went to fuck it.
Yeah. That one mile to SEAL Beach, Orange County and L.A. County. It's crazy. You just walk out and it's like, oh you're you can live your life here and then you come to L.A. County and you got to you got to harm yourself from all the whole crazy.
And all I want to say is after four months of people not dropping dead in Orange County. Well, yeah, why not Disneyland? They're doing it in Florida. So you don't think so? No, they it thanks to Florida, they should open every fucking thing. We should have a book drop on Monday at noon. We just drop the book and everything opens as everyone goes. Fuck it. Like a prison break. Give them the purge. Give them the purge.
Yeah. All right. So this is frustrating. Where are you doing stand up or are you doing stand up?
I rarely do. It's funny. Just before the pandemic hit, my daughter is eight years old. She's at the point now where she realizes Daddy's leaving. She gets emotional. Why do you have to leave every weekend? And the last time I was pulling out of the driveway. So you're in the bay window. She's crying and just every fiber wants to throw the car park one and go, Dad, he's not leaving you.
But I got to keep the lights on. So I go. The next week I come home. Pandemic hits. We're all quarantine the next six months. Mike, this is the greatest. I'm with my wife. I'm with my kids. It's beautiful. And about the seventh month, I was just like, what water fountain did you chuck a quarter into and wish for your daddy to stay home because you crippled the global economy, ruined small businesses? Our freedoms are taken away.
It's all my daughter's fault. Wherever the camera is, it's my daughter's faults on a drain that fountain and burn it.
It's hard to burn a fountain a then I know, but it's just nothing but blocks of concrete and carved alabaster. You know, that's it's that flat tile. Yeah. Yeah. Or do barn.
But I'm going to, I think I'm going to. Cleveland is my first date since a while so I'll be there like Halloween weekend at Hillary's and I just got that offer today and then hopefully November. I can start working in December. But it's been it's just been it's been nuts. Even when when I was in the edit bay, I came home, I told my wife I got a Taylor to come over.
I got a nice tuxedo. I never owned a tux. So I was like, got a tux. I got her a beautiful dress. I said, we're going to wear this when the film premieres. She said, Great, right.
And I pulled it out on Friday and I pulled it out of the closet.
So we're going to wear these in the living room film premieres the it's available now on digital and video on demand, by the way. And I noticed that Vince Vaughn and Peter Billingsley, our old neighborhood, our old neighbor, and those guys are partners. I think I went out to dinner with those two guys in my old neighborhood. Peter Billingsley is the kid from Christmas Christmas story. Yeah, he's all grown up now. How did you get them to produce this or what is your relationship with those guys?
Been best pals for a long time. I moved to L.A. They were doing the Wild West comedy documentary, which still holds up. It's a great doc about young comics starting and they were doing a show in Vegas.
And I went and did it to some people. I went up cold. Vince walked out for maybe thirty seconds and introduced me, got a standing ovation. It was one of those nights things clicked. And then I come off stage like, who the hell is this guy? And two weeks later I'm in Costa Rica with a bunch of guys and Vince.
And ever since we're looking, we're looking at a picture of it.
That was the night I met them. Actually, I can only Goldilocks shit. I just come off stage and in order. Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, but yeah. Events and Peter Mezze doing an after school special when they were both I think eighteen both moved to L.A. and Peter was a star athlete and Vince was on the track team and Peter started shooting up, he started taking steroids and it's you know, very dramatically you got to get off this junk back in the in the after school special, I was like he was a star athlete and Vince was shooting one. Yeah, yeah, that Emet, yeah, filming the after school, after school, so we've such an intricate tale you brought me, right.
I was there. It's really in intervening into Peter's life.
Yeah. They've been they've been great. I mean, they've been great. We did Sullivan son together. We did this film together. And I just wrote this film on a whim because, again, I wasn't working. I was on the road. I just thought, I'm going to write a film as an exercise to see if I can do it. And then I wrote I just gave it to Vincent, you know, am I way off base or is this even worth anything?
And then, you know, a year later we're making it.
Well, I you know, it's those kinds of endeavors that really they're they're trying to get to lost in thought. But what I'm saying is, is I think everyone thinks in terms of training or certificates or getting licensed or something or having a dad who's prominent or mom is prominent or going to a prominent school. If you could just graft one thing onto your kids, it would be a beginning, middle and end. It'd be, you know, where you were, where you when you had the idea for the opening act.
I guess, you know, I when when I came up with the idea for the Hammer, I know exactly where I was. I was driving on Coldwater Canyon. I was going right past the street that goes up to Bill Maher's house like Cherokee or something like whatever it was. And I was just driving and I had I know exactly where I was. And then I remember going to the premiere, which I could legally attend right back then. And and you have the beginning, all of this middle and then the end.
And then when the next thing comes around, when everyone else is overwhelmed, are explaining why it's not going to work or how difficult it is. You just have that in your head. Yeah.
I never once thought, you know, I was like, look, I just wanted to make a great film about standup.
That was my thought process. And it's funny you mention that because I was in San Jose, I came off stage. I was like, I, I got to do something, you know, the show cancelled. I'm back on the road. You know, you're not relevant anymore. Even when the show was on, it was there wasn't this dramatic shift in my career. And I was in San Jose and I went to original Joe's and I sat down and I picked up I had with me save the cat in my backpack that I had for like years was just sitting there.
I pulled it out. I started reading again, like, I'm going to write some I'm going to write some about standup comedy. And that's how it all started.
And I thought, show it for the first time, show some show some young kid going to a club for the first time because it's not just about the ten minute you're on stage, it's the light bachelorette parties, hecklers pleasing the manager, hoping you get asked back, warming up to the to the road weary veteran.
All the all the all the intricacies that you've got to deal with and the morning radio and the fact that it's your first time, you're going to suck, you're going to stink. And so you've got to each time you fail, you get a little bit better and you get a little more well versed and you develop an arsenal of weapons and eventually you'll become a better working comic. So I just wanted to take the audience through the inside baseball of it all and show them what it's really like at the beginning, because failure and stand up are synonymous.
It's a symbiotic relationship.
But that dopamine is that one drug, that one hit of like laughter you get from something you wrote in the car or on the train or on the plane and taking that out there to a room full of strangers. And they laugh, you think, fuck, that's it. That's why I'm back tomorrow. And you put up with it. And I just love those days of blind optimism, romanticism, sleeping in my Saturn and driving across the country, pulling into college campuses and taking showers at the rec center, pretending I went to school there so I could get a shower as I'm going to my next gig.
You fucking Asian's can get away with murder on a college campus.
Somebody tries to pass, you know, like my dad's gonna fucking throw you off this campus. Yeah. Currently eighty three percent with critics and ninety four percent with the audience for four comedies. That is that is off the goddamn charts. Yes.
Just as Steve says, you know, showing the the behind the scenes. I'd like to take it a step further. You pull the camera even farther back and show people who are just thinking about getting into this while they deal with a shit job they're in now. I don't know anyone who can't relate to that in some form. And the boss who played beautifully by Alvar, who just thinks I have it all figured out, this is what life's about.
Platitude, platitude. You're fine where you are. And who among us hasn't been caught in that purgatory? Yeah.
When I you know, when I was starting to write it, I was thinking, what was the last job I had? I was I was a waiter at a Greek restaurant called the Aegean on seventy seven third in Columbus.
And when I gave the script out, Cedric said he was actually working for State Farm in. Insurance, that was his last job, and that's when he got intrigued to say, yeah, I'll do this. So I do think it's funny. And the tough thing with Bill Burr being the boss is we left so much on the floor. He was so goddamn funny.
What we learn in test screenings is that we did temper his performance down because there has to be some sense of stake's like if he leaves this job and goes does stand up and he fails all, you can just go back to that fun job with that really cool boss. So we had to truncate a lot of this stuff. But, man, if this film ever got to be popular enough where I could show everybody all the things we left out, the comics were improving, it'd be, oh, God, it's a totally, totally different film.
We will see what kind a fund set just by the nature of just who is in the movie Total Blast.
You know, every day was great. Alex was great. I, I had met Alex before cholangitis from SNL, recommended him to me.
Alex Moppet. Yeah.
And I'd seen an independent film he did called like Uncle Henry or something was really good. And he's so grounded. And he just took this role. And in many ways there's a lot of people that say you stole the film because he's just such a crazy character.
But I do want to. Did you say. Yeah, yeah. Everything in the film has happened to me in real life. So once he hits the road, I did end up under that trailer after Sean Raleigh, North Carolina. Charlie Goodnights fearing for my life. And this is back when I didn't have a cell phone so scared out of my goddamn mind, I bombed on radio and CAYLUS here in Los Angeles. Mark and Brian know Frank Haidian Frosti at the time.
I'm friends with them now. But they they I bombed so bad on radio was the second time I ever did radio. The first time was stern. I was like, I wish somebody would have pulled me aside, said, don't do this. You're not ready yet. I wasn't ready. Why were you on Stern?
I don't mean to sound insulting, but I mean what was going on?
I realized great gas, great comic impersonator was doing it a bunch and he had all these stories. What year was this?
This has got to be ninety nine. Ninety eight somewhere there. Yeah. Sounds about right.
So Craig's on there a lot. He's telling these guys some stories about me and then I have a ton of bad stories about Craig. So they said yeah. And that's how it all happened then. Come on, talk about it.
That sounds Stani was brutal. Let me hit Redcap and then we'll do some news. That's Redcap with a K, by the way, not a C. Red Caps, one of the oldest makers of workwear and the country outfitting our essential workforce for nearly a century. They have something for seemingly every industry, from coveralls to high visibility work shirts, the oil blocking chef coats and shop shirts as well. They sent us a bunch of these coveralls and the work gear is just second to none.
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Adam. All right, let's take a quick break.
The burn will hang in and we'll do the news right after this. With great news, with Genographic break by will all those crazy Trump tweets give me no trouble in the Middle East? Celebrity meltdowns with Gina. Gina. The news with Genographic, sorry. Can you talk about what you're talking about off the air?
Yeah, I was just I was asking you how you feel about staying in California, et cetera, et cetera. And after the fifth month, my wife and I, we always liked Los Angeles but never loved it. Yeah, she's a Minnesota girl. I'm rustbelt. I'm Pittsburgh. And I'm like I always liked it.
But even like now SEAL Beach, I really don't go to the beach all that often.
I'm not a beach guy.
What about the SEALs you left behind? Are they good enough for you to bring that bowl down? And I'm waiting for them to balance it. It never happens. No, I will say this. All right. Here's my you guys can tell me I've not really thought about this. It's a combination. When you've lived in Los Angeles your whole life and you think about these other places, these other places didn't have a fill in the blank. My new thing is if it's got a fucking P.F. Chang's, I'll move there.
You've reached a certain level of civilization, but when you start traveling, as we all do, and you really start traveling, getting into the kind of the nooks in the cracks of places, you play a comedy club, play the comedy club, you hang out for two and a half days Saturday. You got nothing to do all day. Find yourself walking around town and now find yourself walking around. Go.
Not too shabby. Yeah, it's not bad.
So when I was a kid in Southern California, if you would have said Salt Lake City, I would have got to come on in Nashville. So I'm not a shitkicker like whatever it is. So what's going on and why so many people are flirting with this is California is going down, but these other places are going up. There's plenty of, you know, the Carolinas and stuff like that. There's plenty of good places around. And Southwest is getting cheaper.
So transportation's getting cheap. Yep. California going down many places. The rest of the country heading up. So wouldn't that be a recipe for people leaving? So, Cal?
Yeah, I tell you, the the time just before everything hit, I took the one, two, one. I went off Gowa and my buddy had a juice shop. So I went to go support and I pull off the GameWorks off the one on one. I see all these tents. Right. What's going on here. So I go into the shop, I go, is there like a music festival? Here they go. What are you talking?
I go to all these tents and they're like, they started laughing at me. They go, That's the homeless. And I was like, Are you fucking kidding?
That's a big encampment right there. Oh, my God.
Watch station look green like. Come on in. Make yourself at home to me. When they got into my old neighborhood in sort of Studio City, Valley Village because was the the valley and that part of the valley was always impervious to the homeless. Homeless was like Skid Row and downtown. Or maybe it spilled into Silver Lake when I saw the other day the latrine and the wash station and everything off of enterable off the Ventura Freeway on Laurel Canyon, I was like, we have jumped the fucking shark, man.
Yeah. And that's why I after the fifth month, my wife and I, we just said, you know, let's get the hell out of here. And I had romanticized Nashville as one of those cities, not too shabby. And the more I explored it, I talked to a good friend. Napat gets you a great comic. And he gave me the leyline. I went out, I looked at it and our home gone. And we're going up to Nashville, I think, sometime in December.
So, yeah, you walk around Nashville and it is and many of these cities, not only are they fairly metropolitan, but because they're all sort of on the rise. Things are newer, like the downtown is newer, things are fresher, like things aren't old than sort of sort of coming undone. So, yeah, a lot of a lot of choices these days.
And in all of our many travels when we were traveling, God, it was, you know, at least once or twice a month, at least when I started.
And I'm from the Midwest and I had no plans of ever going back to places that still stick out to me from all of our live show. Plethora of tours is Royal Oak, Michigan and Louisville, Kentucky.
Yeah, well, Louisville's great. Yeah. Loved. Yeah. And even even places. I don't recommend Houston, let's be honest, but Indianapolis is a really nice town and walk around him. All right, Gina, what are you guys.
Well, we got some sad news to start with. Jeff Bridges tweeted something that is quite the bomb out. He's been diagnosed with lymphoma. He said it on Monday, said, as the dude would say, new shit has come to light. He added, I've been diagnosed with them foma. Although it's a serious disease, I feel fortunate to have a great team of doctors and the prognosis is good. I'm starting treatment and we'll keep you posted on my recovery.
He then said and he said. By the way, he thanked his friends and family for encouraging him and not sure when he got the diagnosis, but he did just go public with that.
Well, I don't I don't want a world. I want a world where he's in it. I don't there's certain guys. I need certain people, certain people I don't need. We should be able to trade, you know what I mean?
Like, I give you, like, two Kardashians for one bridges or one bridge for info. Yeah, we'd like I'd like Paul. I'd like to. Yeah. But he's always on the table, right. Yeah. Because we got to we got to make the cap. So maybe Delinda's. It's great. Well it's a funny concept till I get to fucking tap on the shoulder one day.
What if you've been traded for that.
Our friend was in trouble. Yeah. Yeah. It will give you the cast of Veep.
Right. We get to keep. Yeah. Huh.
Oh we're keeping the cast to be. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah.
It's been a couple of years since anyone's seen hide or hair of Bill Cosby, but TMZ has obtained his updated mug shot and it is rough. He's 83. He was sentenced in twenty eighteen to three to ten years in Pennsylvania for sexually assaulting Andrea Constand, Pennsylvania prison, that is. And do you have the original mug shot, Kaitlyn? It's the really just go back and forth between two years. What a difference. Two years makes one at least.
You know, he's he's he looks like Bill Cosby, the newer one. He's very disheveled. And I mean, I don't know if he's still doing his Sunday service in the prison that he had been doing for so long. But that is the newest mug shot. And we can put that up so people can see it. Oh, that's like the black McNulty.
Yeah, he is. Yeah. He's going down that that road. He he's just, you know, your nose never stops growing or getting wider. And there's that the hair. He's got a little Krusty the Clown going on a little. And not only Krusty the Clown but the clown from in living color home. Homey, you've got a little homie with me.
I mean, Sir Presti, it's got to be it's got to be weird to be like a new inmate and run across this version of Bill Cosby where you go like, who's that guy? Someone goes, I don't know. Some other guy goes, That's Quiles Chuck. He's the juror. No, no, that's Bill Cosby, America's dad. I watch it. I used to watch reruns of The Cosby Show when I was on the outside. Like, that is him.
We should, you know, we need to do. We need to we need to remember back in the sitcom's that there was a trope in a sitcom where they would find the Japanese soldier who still thought World War Two was going on and it was on an island and evidently this existed. But I think they took it a little a little too far. We need to isolate. We need to pull people out of the population and end them like you'll end at nineteen eighty nine, you'll end at 2002, and then we'll we'll bring them out and we'll go.
You know Bill Cosby. Yeah. This is Bill Cosby. Whatever this is, this is what happened. Vaporise. Yeah. As I have my beloved Bruce Jenner, nothing can go wrong. Yeah. I'll tell you about Donald Trump.
How does this new mugshot help anyone like man. Is this the man who assaulted you? Oh yeah.
Why did they take why do they. He's in prison. Do you maybe update him every few. Yeah. Like you're like at the DMV, right.
I guess make sure you're still an organ donor. So speaking of disgrace, writer and CNN senior analyst Jeffrey Toobin has been suspended by the New York magazine, New Yorker magazine and is on leave from CNN after he reportedly exposed himself on a corporate Zoome call who among US staff writers at The New Yorker and employees from WNYC ran a video call preparing for election night coverage. And The New York Times reports that during a pause in the call for a breakout session.
Those are when you kind of go to different rooms to deal with, you know, various people. Mr. Toobin switched to a second call. That was the video call equivalent of like a phone sex call, according to two people who were familiar with it.
And they spoke under anonymity as Monday afternoon about reporters that he had exposed himself to. He said, Mr. Toobin said, I am made an embarrassingly stupid mistake believing I was off camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends, coworkers, but he's decided to take a little time off. They're saying it was his decision.
Say, I heard this story at first and like he'd expose himself and I was like going, all right. So his pants were down on a zoom call just came out of the shower or something, whatever bathroom sash in the back. But I think he was beating off.
Well, that's what they're saying, that he was on me. So that's a video phone sex call. And he thought he had taken the other call.
But you don't have to beat off immediately.
There's a there's a sort of cooling down period. I know you. Yeah. What's your favorite pizza topping? So she beating off on this? OK, well, we should say beating off because it was unclear. Or was he beating?
Well, he he was he inappropriately exposed himself.
Now, you can't keep saying that because everyone's inappropriately exposed. I think any time the laptop comes up, a guy is three pages away from ending up jerking off.
Oh, yeah. Especially you get me on. Bring a trailer on a Sunday morning. Clear out 69 Camaro Z28. Yeah, I fucking don't get going.
Now I see this headline on Fox says they're going to kill you will probably return to CNN after masterbation scandal dies down.
The problem with exposing yourself is that could be any one of us at any time with the bathrobe coming open, beating off is a little bit of a different animal.
I still respect the man. I'm just trying to there's a difference. There's a difference between exposure and beating off exposure is showing somebody a knife and beating off a stabbing them.
I mean, there's a nuance, but in the eyes of the law, it makes a difference to Judge Adam.
Right. Did you brandish or did you penetrate? Did you, Shiv?
Right. Yeah. The more you read about. He was definitely Gerkin though. Yeah.
That what appears to be it because of it anyway.
If it was I don't maximize I mean that's what I'm hearing to now keep in mind, here's a CNN reporter. So they could be protecting him by just saying, exposing.
But everywhere else that I've read, it's reportedly his screen went down a little bit on camera, went down and it showed the goods and they saw they saw him work and work in the goods.
Yeah, because it just goes down. It's like I made a mistake or well done, a zoom in our fucking underpants or whatever. It's I think it's the beating off part that caused this rub people the wrong way.
Yeah. I mean I'm told they come up here, you can keep doing it, you know, and just.
Well we do have more answers for the next presidential debate, which is, you know. Hours away at this point, well, hold on, was Toobin doing a Zoome call like a business call?
Yes, but from the story, he took another zoo.
Right. But what was his original? What was his original was election night coverage.
There were discussion for the workers work stuff.
Jesus, this first off, I was really excited when Trump loses. I don't know. This guy's a multitasker like monkey. Oh, I'm so uncoordinated. I can't beat off and chew gum at the same time. I can't beat off and shoot them at the same. I mean, it's only 24 hours in a day. Right, guys? What's up, yanno?
Mm hmm. All right. So it was an election simulator. That's right. All right. Sorry.
So speaking of election stimulators, the thing that we were all prepared for and probably shouting at our television screens during the first debate is what's going to happen. Apparently at this next debate, we likely won't see a lot of interruptions, or at least you won't hear them super well, because on Monday, the sponsors of the second and final debate between Trump and Biden said that there will be muted when their time is up. So, you know, you'll hear some shouting in the distance, but you won't hear it very clearly.
I imagine the commission said that while on well, one of the candidates is given their two minutes to answer each question, the other, Mike, will be muted. The final debate will be moderated by Kristen Welker of NBC. It's scheduled for Thursday at 9:00 Eastern in Nashville.
She's a nasty woman and I like her. She's nasty, you know.
Oh, she's not she's not an impartial third party.
I don't like her nasty woman. I thought this this Mike thing is probably going to help Trump, so he probably shouldn't protest. I watched the last debate. I muted it and I still heard Trump.
Yeah, but it happened. And I got I had it muted and I got spittle on me from Trump, so I got shocked by it. I remember going for Kaiman, but the only thing I could tell from the from the whole thing and I know everyone thinks I'm a fucking dick all the time, but I was looking at the topics and it's like no one covid. And I was like, OK, it's it's been talked about quite a bit, but fine.
No to race in America. It's like, can we give it a fucking break? Can we just give it a fucking break. It's people don't like racism. We live in a non racist country. The reason everyone from around the world tries to get here is because of that, which is fucking give it a break. I get it. Biden not he doesn't like racism. Trump he's going to have trouble saying he doesn't like racism. Move the fuck on.
Then they're both going to tell some sort of story about what they did for a black person or about how we have to, you know, reimagine policing or whatever the fuck it is. Can we stop talking about race so much? It's fucking insane. At two thousand and twenty one, it's two months away. It doesn't need to be. The second thing they talk about on the debate. It's all we talk about. It's understood. And there's nothing they can say about it on that debate stage.
It's going to clear anything up or fix anything that has to do with race. Can we pick a fucking subject economy or something? Schooling, whatever. Something foreign affair. Some of us got a little more fucking meat on the bone and some of this esoteric race fucking thing. We all make ourselves heroes every five minutes of dialogue. You need a seat at the table and then you pull up the to the table. Now we have an honest dialogue about fucking race.
Jesus Christ, you can keep fucking talking about it. You'll never fucking fix it by talking about it. And no candidate explaining what he's going to do about it ever fucking touches it because you can't get to it from where they are.
I am so incensed after this show. I'm pushing over three statues. I'm just letting everybody out there knows I'm burning a ballot box.
Yeah. Oh, I agree with you that.
Did you think they should ask about what do you think of 50 Cent? Do you see that? He said he tweeted something like, you know, I'm Trump all the way now. I don't care if he likes black people or not. You know, Joe Biden's new tax policy is going to put like a sixty two percent tax on anyone that makes more than four hundred thousand dollars. I'm Trump all the way. So maybe talk about fifty cent.
You want to talk about civil liberties. Them taking in California, I think, of. Sixty three percent of your income. We're not even we're fucking sailed right past 50 percent and we're now past 60 percent. We get thirty seven percent. We get to take home thirty seven percent of what we make. If you make more than 400. Okay, that is a fucking that is civil liberty crushing. That's the fucking government taking more than half your money.
Like we never stop talking about, you know, abortions and the right to this. And that guy burned a flag. And what about free speech zones? How about them taking 60 something percent of the money you earn? That's it doesn't seem like that doesn't seem like a civil liberty impingement. I know a good realtor. Jesus Christ and New Jersey. New York. I mean, they're all, by the way, don't 60 plus.
It's not just that they're going to rake the citizens over the coals of California the next five, ten years to make up for all that lost revenue that they've been missing out on these last seven months.
OK, they're not they're just going to follow the people who leave for ten years. Right? Right. That's that's true, too. Yeah. They're going to and tag them like a karabo. Newsom's is going to be up in the tree with binoculars and a fucking walkie talkie that that. Good luck, everyone. Anyone who lives in one of those cities, anybody who lives in one of those cities and makes more than 400 K a year is going to move.
That's how it works. OK, I don't know. This doesn't you know, where we're talking about government overreach or we're talking about big government or we're talking about the citizens. Doesn't taking more than 60 percent of the money you earn doesn't feel like the ultimate overreach? God damn.
It's like we just fucking sit around and talk about talk about abortion. We talk about religious freedom at all. It's great. How about they're taking how about my cut is in the thirties. My cut is in the thirties now. That's fucking insane. Yeah, is there something attractive about that or you just get to go fuck all those rich people? And by the way, you live in California, you live in L.A. and you make four hundred and seven thousand dollars a year.
You ain't rich, that's for goddamn sure. But your your privilege. Your privilege. This is why. That's right. It's a privilege tax. That's what's happening. All right.
Well, let's move on to something a little lighter now that you guys have thoughts about this. Do we have that? Yeah, I gave my I mean, yeah, I think it's insane.
It is insane. Is it a progressive tax where where like you make a certain amount and that not just taxes, 62 percent. I'm assuming it is, but I don't know. I didn't know the story. A certain amount is over 400 can think 62 percent.
Sixty three percent. And that's the thing, because for for those of us who don't make four hundred thousand dollars, what is the incentive for me to I have two jobs now as it is.
What's the incentive for me to find a third job if I know the more I make, the more is going to be taken away from me and the sweet spots like just just underneath that, you want to do like carpet like right there, though, if you can.
All right. So it's insane. It's fucking insane. It's 400 grand. So. Well, you're certainly going to move if you get to over 400. All right. Right.
There's no reason to stay now that Borat has a new movie out. He's starting to do some press. He was last seen on Jimmy Kimmel Live Monday night promoting Borat, subsequent movie film delivery of prodigious bribe to American regime for make benefit once glorious nation of Kazakhstan. And the first thing he did when he came out was let Jimmy Kimmel know that there is a new virus called the coronavirus. It's out of Wuhan, Israel, started by the Jews. And he then went into a questionnaire with Jimmy to make sure he wasn't infected.
Here's a clip.
Health class, you know, a normal cosmic question. Now, in the last week, how have you been in the presence for more than fifteen minutes of any Jews?
Yes, all of our writers and none of our camera guys are Jewish. Is that bad? This is very bad. Oh, no. This one under your diet as a member of Hollywood's elite. Yeah. Have you recently drunk any unpasteurised children's blood, unpasteurised? No, I hit no, I am not really. No, not the pizza parlors recently. No, no. I have a surprise delivered to the house for the contact tracing. I need the names and addresses of the last 12 prostitutes who have been with.
I'm going to have to get back to you with that. There are more. Yeah. And were any of them women? Yeah. No, I did not think so. Yes. Yeah. And what is your favorite position to make sexy time. What does that have to do with the virus. Nothing. I just want to know fast, OK. I'm like imagine you. Swing, swing with this catchphrase. The answer is laying on my back like a seal.
Yeah, you make it with a sail, nothing like varnish.
Then he tried to penetrate him with a thermometer and a 10 foot pole, and it got crazier from there. But great, great promotional junket by Borat. I think the movie's going to be a success.
Yeah, I'm looking forward to when is it out?
Is it it's going to be on Amazon Prime on Friday. Amazon Prime. All right. Let me get your box here. Hard to find 100 percent grass fed. Finished beef. Yeah, free range organic chicken, heritage breed pork or wild caught salmon in the grocery store today. Sponsor, put your box. Thanks. You should make one less trip to the store and for better, more affordable selection, we put your box on a nightly basis. Olga cooks up something great each and every night.
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Well, you know, we were talking about anchovies earlier and, you know, picky people, picky kids.
We've even done segments on this show. You've done it on your old radio show. Will Angie eat it? Will Andrew eat it? Well, this is refreshing.
This is the kid we should all strive to be. This little four year old went viral on social media recently when he might be literally the least picky eater of all time. His mom did several taste test challenges with him and edited them all together. His thumbs up are for foods he likes, thumbs down for foods he doesn't like, but he liked. Everything he liked pickled beets, he like kickboard herring, the only food he didn't seem to like was horseradish, balsamic vinegar and wasabi.
Here are some of the other things he said yes to. Let's all be this kiss. My dog is illegitimate.
Kid right now is black Julian's I first we have pickled beets. Thumbs up or thumbs down. Thumbs up, spicy pickle.
Thumbs up or thumbs down. Thumbs it the thumbs up or thumbs down. Black coffee. Thumbs. And it goes I mean, it's like five minutes long, there's nothing this kid won't eat except basically wasabi. Yeah, I feel like there's enough on TV I can watch. I don't know.
I don't know if this kid's I don't know if this is kind of the local level.
So I don't watch them so that they're going to that had an element of when the squirrel is is snowboarding, except for you just see the squirrel duct taped to the snowboard and they push it down the hill.
Have you ever given a toddler a spicy pickle and seen what happens to them? Many times are very upset. You didn't let me finish what we said. Give them the spicy quite frequently several times earlier today. No doubt about this kid in the last few days and thought if he can try that, I can definitely try whatever I'm about to.
I think that kid figured out that it was cool to give the thumbs up after whatever it is they tried, but they will with the reformation dopamine.
It could have that could have been cooked. They're coached, is what I'm saying. I'm I hate that motherfucker. I hate to be that guy. But, you know, I believe that we, the US government, took down the Twin Towers and I believe that kid was coached.
I miss the good old days of watching Effexor. I fall off a motorcycle. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. That's what I want to watch. Yeah. Yeah, I miss. I miss that. I miss that. We're seeing it.
Since you guys are so anti your thumbs down the the little kid, I'm going to just do this for Brian because I don't care anymore and I've been sitting on it because I hate it. But Brian, let's make you happy. How about that? The first ninety song has logged one billion and streams on Spotify. It's stupid. It's all underwater.
It's only go to the greatest song ever made.
Nineteen 1995 song. It has now surpassed Queen, which was, of course, Bohemian Rhapsody and Oasis. Congratulations on your brilliant stream on Spotify.
Wipe all the other pretenders away. Best band in the world. It Pat. Oh, you're young Brian. Oh yeah. I got my pretty green jacket on.
There's Liam Gallagher's clothing company. I love Oasis.
Wow, Gina, you always seen this coming. I'm gonna throw my computer out the wall. Right. I'm coming over.
How many ways to shows you? Oh, God. Seven. I got a guitar signed by Noel met Liminal in Vegas. Yeah. Love him more than a couple of the same shows over the years. Probably about seven. Yeah, probably about that. I went to the one at the joint at the Hard Rock where Brandon Flowers said he walked in at the end and saw them performance. So that's what I want to do. So yes, I take to the sort of in 2002 ish, we got a prick thumbs in front of a fireplace tonight and can swap lunch.
And Gina, I'm sad to report this. I got to wrap up this wasis love affair because I got to see a wasis tribute band and they Burgher Burbank, Costco parking lot calls.
Yes. No Oasis, no Komarov. Yeah, they're called a mirage.
It's a desert thing they're doing at the Costco Oasis. Yeah. So we're all pretty heavily into. Right.
We're fighting pretty hard for them to have a good day. All right. So wait a minute.
That is the most streamed song and it's that now it's rivaling Bohemian Rhapsody that also passed that had already passed a billion. Now Wonderwall has passed.
It was the first ninety song to farcically this first night. All right. All right. The opening act available now on digital and video on demand as well. A very good movie and a very good guy. Steve Byrne, everyone. And you can go to Steve Bernadotte oh, sorry. Steve Byrne live Dotcom. And it's available as we speak. Yes. As you're speaking.
Thank you guys so much for the progression. Well, I know the merchandise Segway. We're looking at Cosby and we're to look at it homey the clown, and we're looking at Krusty the Clown. And there are all about the same line. All right. I'm doing a live standup. West Palm Beach, Florida, Improv, November 20th and 21st. We're doing live podcast and The Early Show and The Late Show doing standup. And I'm also doing a matinee show on Saturday.
Reasonable doubt. Mark Geragos over there. I'm emotional support animals available as we speak. That's my new book. And until next time, is that Jim Crow Virgina and Steve Steve Bernsten Mahola. Follow The Adam Carolla Show on Twitter. Adam Carolla Show. Follow us on Twitter. Adam Carolla, please leave us a voicemail at eight eight eight six three four one seven four four. I grabbed the Azmath book premiere Emotional support animal navigating our OK, no joke culture.
It's everywhere. It's awesome. And you can get at it. Adam Corolla. Dotcom. Why is the new sleep number 360 smart that your answer to better health and wellness, its proven quality sleep? Any more questions? Yes, I'm always freezing and he overheats its temperature balance so you can sleep better together.
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