This is an all English podcast, episode one thousand four hundred ninety one, the sassy side of thank you.

Welcome to the All Ears English podcast downloaded more than 150 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection, with your American hosts. Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York Radio Girl coming to you from Colorado and New York City U. S a and to get your transcripts delivered by email every week, go to all ears. English dot com forward slash subscribe.

Today we answer a question from our listener, Yogesh from India.

He heard the term thanks, but no thanks. What exactly are we saying when we use this term? Find out today.

Hey, Lindsay, how are you? Awesome, Michelle, I'm doing great. It's it's yeah, it's a busy week and now things are good. Things are good. What's your world? Oh yeah.

Everything's good over here. And not too much interesting. Just the end of the year coming up. But I am really excited about today's episode because there is a lot of sass in today's episode.

Sighs What do you mean SACE.

Well, like a lot of like attitude I guess. So tud we're going to be talking about this expression. Lindsay, do you know the expression or do you use the expression.

Thanks but no thanks. Oh yeah it is sassy. You're right. And it's on us. It is fun. It is fun.

And today we have a question from our listener, Yogesh, about this expression and so I'm excited to talk about it. So Lindsay, read the question for us.

All right. So Yogesh says this is Yogesh Chevon from India. I hope you're doing well during covid-19 the pandemic of loneliness. Oh, yeah. You are all doing incredible work today.

I want to ask you one English expression that natives have used in American movies. The expression is thanks, but no thanks, but I don't know how to use it in different situations. I need your thoughts on this particular expression. Thanks, Yogesh. Oh, shit.

Yeah, this is this is fun. Yeah. And it's a good pickup, right. It's a good pick up on his part because just yanking that out and understanding that that is a chunk right there in itself is really good listening skills, right. Oh yeah. For sure.

That's awesome. So yeah. Yogesh, we're going to get into that in just a second. But guys, we want to remind you to get our I.

S o iOS and iOS app because we have a ton of stuff going on over there.

And one great thing is your vocabulary can improve, right, Lindsey?

Yes, exactly, guys. And we are hoping, hoping, hoping to build the Android version this year. I hope this is going to be the year for the Android app. But until then, if you're an ice user, you can get it right now. You can do a seven day free trial. You'll get transcripts right there inside the app and you get to create your own personal vocabulary list, which really is pretty cool because this is going to be one of the phrases I'm sure that will be highlighted, right, Michelle?

Oh, for sure.

There's a lot to say about this photo. So we're going to expand on that today. So definitely go to all is English dotcoms bonuses.

OK, so good question, Yogesh. Right. It is a great question and it's a good expression. Love it. Yeah. So but I have a question. Is this kind of a nice and genuine expression, Lindsay?

I know it's a little sarcastic. It's like you said, it's sassy. Sassy means that you are pushing against someone. You're talking back to them in a little and a little bit. Right. Talking back.

Yeah. I mean, I think it's a pretty sassy kind of rude expression. Yeah, I agree. I don't think it's set in a genuine like thank you. Like you want. And I don't even think like if you were saying you don't want something, you could just say no thank you, but I don't think you would say like thanks but no thanks. That's not used in a genuine way.

Like exactly.

It's like you're trying to say you like it's your turn to say you're really turned off from something. Right. Right, right. And offered something but you're really turned off for whatever reason. So you're rejecting it.

Right. Right, right. It's kind of like saying like, oh, I would never do that or no way. No way.

So let's do a little example.

Lindsey, also, Lindsey, do you want to study with me tomorrow for four hours? Thanks, but no thanks. Oh, and yeah, yeah, so you're you're saying no way, basically, like, you know, for a long time.

I mean, Lindsey, one of the things that I really liked was how you said this. I think this expression has a very specific intonation, right, Lindsey? Exactly.

So I said thanks but no thanks, guys. It's a rhythm. And and what you should do is go back, play that again, mirror how I'm saying it.

What am I adding to that in terms of rhythm? What am I doing, Michel? Well, you're kind of.

Well, first of all, with thanks. It's always like thanks and a little pause.

It's like it's like you're going up and down like thanks but no thanks with the.

Exactly. Yeah. Sorry Michel. I cut you off there actually. Yeah. And I also think the other part sounded a little questioning. I was a little bit confused.

Like there's a question at the end of that. Right. Right, right.

So you don't need the there. But it's definitely an added on something here. It's like I'm thinking about it. No. Exactly. Exactly. So good.

So it's all in the intonation, guys. It's all in how you deliver it.

Yeah. Yeah. Or you could even just use it when you're telling somebody about something you have to do that you don't want to do. Right. So I could say something like, oh man, Lindsey, I should do my laundry. It's like thanks but no thanks.

It's like an interesting that you put. It's like, what are you trying to say by putting its like in there.

It's, it's like I just want to say it's like it's, it's showing my, my feeling it's, it's almost saying oh this is what I'm saying or this is what I'm thinking or I feel.

Exactly. It's like you're saying how you're experiencing that thing, you're reporting on your experience and a very native and natural way.

Right. Right, right. Because if I just said thanks but no thanks, it almost sounds like, well, who are you talking to? So adding the it's like in this particular example, it's kind of connecting it and saying, OK, I'm taking myself, I'm kind of removing myself and now I'm having this conversation with the laundry.

I don't know you're reporting on your thoughts, although I do think it would be OK if you just said thanks, but no thanks. Yeah. Oh, man, I should do my laundry. Thanks, but no thanks. That would be OK. Yeah, sure. Talking to yourself. Yeah. Or you could also be talking to someone else. Right.

But so you don't have to have it's like but we could do other episodes on the ways we use like and always a filler guys.

It's not always a filler. That's one thing you should know.

OK, yeah that's a good point Lindsey.

So I mean this expression can be used in a humorous way, but it's sarcastic. So be careful who you say it to.

Guys, this is different when you want to be careful with because it will make you sound a little bit spunky, a little bit maybe like you have a little negative attitude about something, even if you're being funny.

Right. It's definitely sarcastic. Yeah. You know, it reminds me of that expression. Sorry, not sorry.

Yeah. We did another episode on that one didn't we.

Yeah, well way back I was looking I don't think it's been since like episode 148. That's what I have unless I missed a one and it was eleven forty eight.

But I think it was one point but yeah.

But briefly I mean what is sorry. Not sorry. So you're apologizing but you're not really. It's like saying I know I should apologize but actually I'm not, I don't apologize because I'm glad I did whatever I did. It's like a thing where you felt justified in doing what you did kind of.

Right, right. Right. It's like, you know, you did something wrong or something that someone would like, but you don't really feel remorse. So you're expressing that feeling.

Good word, by the way, for our listeners. Hey, Michel. Remorse, what does that mean? It's like it's like a regret for something that you did.

Yeah, probably something that maybe you did to somebody nice. I like that. Sorry, not sorry.

So, guys, definitely go back if you're in the Iowa House that by the way, all you have to do is go to the top of the search bar type in one four eight. If you don't find it, type in eleven. Forty eight thirty Portland. What are you.

Yeah I wrote it's been a while so it must have been fair enough. Fair enough.

Guys, you can make this episode your own by creating a personal power list of vocabulary words and by viewing the real time transcripts right inside the iOS app. So to listen there, go to all of your English dot com slash bonuses on your iOS device and get your seven day free trial. All ears, English dot com slash bonuses.

What else to show? So, I mean, like with sorry, not sorry, just let's do a couple of other examples so I could say something like, there's no way I'm helping you with that. Sorry, not sorry. And there you will say thanks, but no thanks to.

Yeah, exactly. So these in some cases, these can be interchanged. Right. You know, they're basically saying a very similar thing. Right.

Right. Right, right. Exactly. Or what's another what's another expression?

I mean, OK, for example, maybe you were in a terrible relationship and this person was very bad to you. Right. And you would say, I broke up with him and he cried, sorry, not sorry. Right. So you were saying I felt justified in doing that because it made me feel bad. Right? Right. Right. Exactly.

So you guys need to look at the whole context of the conversation to really understand how these phrases are being used. Right. Right, right.

Right. Exactly. You have to really think about that. But I mean, in general, I think these are kind of immature sounding. I think you would only use them with, you know, probably a close friend. And I don't know, I, I, I don't even I don't say these things seriously. I think maybe it's a little bit of a younger crowd.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because teenagers are kind of spunky again, you know what I mean? They like to speak their minds and talk back and rebel against their parents. These may be things that teenagers would say or as an adult, we could say them to our friends if we're just joking around, trying to tell our our true feelings about something. Right.

Right, right. Yeah. It's kind of humorous, though. Yeah. I agree with you, Lindsay, on that. So you want to think about that. And as our listener heard, I mean, this comes up right.

That's how our listener got this question because it was actually in something. So you will hear it. So but let's just talk about I mean, just really fast, some more genuine ways to say, you know, thanks, but not interested. So you could just say, oh, thanks, but I'm OK for now. Right? Oh, thanks, but I'm OK. So you're declining whatever it is. Right, right, right. You don't need to be sassy about it.

In that case, that's a more humble and straightforward way to say it. Right, right.

Right. Or for the sorry not sorry. Lindsay, what could you say?

I'm really sorry about that.

Oh well, that's for a genuine sorry now that I'm thinking I guess sorry. Not sorry. It would be more like well there's no nice way to say there is no nice.

Right. Because if you're saying you did something but you don't regret it, you could still just say I'm sorry and yet mind your thinking. You don't regret it.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

So but when you're listening, you know, for these kinds of things, you want to listen for that sarcastic tone of voice or maybe like watch somebody's face, maybe they have a little smirk, like a kind of creepy smile, creepy smile.

Another great word, bonus for our listeners. Again, the bonuses are really coming out today, Michelle. Oh, yeah. A smirk. A small smile. Yeah, like a ha. Yeah. Tricky kind of meaning. A nefarious smile.

Yeah. But guys, the bottom line is try not to use these unless you're being very careful. What do you think, Lindsay? Yeah. Be careful who you're around. Is this a person that you can pretty much say anything to and they're not going to judge you that a family member or best friend?

That's OK. Yeah, but are you around a coworker? You're talking about your boss. Maybe don't do that. Right, that kind of thing. Just be tasteful, guys.

Tasteful. Yeah, exactly. Because these aren't really expressions that are going to help you form new connections unless I guess I mean, I guess they could with a more sarcastic, funny crowd. So if you're commiserating with somebody about something, it might actually help. So you really have to as Lindsay was saying, you know, you have to think about the whole context.

Is this appropriate? Who are you talking to? Why is this being used instead of something more genuine?

Yeah, and I think we've maybe done an episode on commiserating with concept. Yeah. It's kind of like complaining or writing together or there's some not so good situation and you're you're sharing in your experience with someone. So guys, come back to the blog and find that episode two two. I've been commiserating and see what comes up. I'm not sure exactly what will come up, but you never know.

OK, so guys, remember today we talked about a ton of bonus words. So these are going to be on the key word lists. Definitely. If you want to have all of those words in one place, you have got to get the I. O. S app at all. Which dotcom slash bonuses? Yeah, I mean, that's the key.

You would if you had the app, you had a membership, guys, you'd be able to say, yes, I want to remember this, I want to put this in my personalized list and therefore it'll be in that list for you for the future to review every day.

So really good. Michelle, what's the takeaway for our listeners today?

All right, guys. Well, these are popular expressions, but we don't always recommend them unless, well, like this situation do. We were speaking about in this episode.

They're good to know and they can help you even really more on the listener. And, you know, because. And you can kind of say, wait, hold on, is this person made genuine with me or are they having an attitude? Right. So it's good to know as a listener. So watch out for this.

That's a good point, Michelle. It's not always just about using the vocab words, guys. It's about gauging where that other person is at in their head space. Right. Where are they? What's their attitude?

What's their attitude towards you or the situation? And then you know how to respond so you can connect with them.

Exactly. Maybe we should do a follow up episode on how to respond. If somebody says something like this to me, that would be interesting confrontation.

Yeah. All right. Let us know, guys, if you want that and make sure you go and grab the iOS app.

All right. Awesome. All right. This is fun. Have a good one. Bye. Take care. Bye bye.

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