Life BurnoutAnything Goes with Emma Chamberlain
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- 21 Jan 2021
It’s been a rough year, and all of us to some extent are feeling a sense of burnout in our lives. Whether that be a lack of motivation to do anything, or feeling down and sad, or having no desire to be social with anyone. Emma is going through it too, and discusses why it happens and ways we can overcome it.
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Good morning everybody and welcome back to Anything Goes. I'm Emma Chamberlain, your host. And I have morning voice a little bit because I just woke up like an hour ago.
It's eight no, it's nine am. It's nine a.m. My voice is not warmed up yet. These are actually the first words that I've spoken yet today. So I'm glad to be sharing those moments with you. Listen, before we get into our topic today, we need to talk about. The latest Netflix documentary that I watched, OK, I did this in the last episode of the episode before that one where I talked about Don't fuck with cats. Which is a another murder documentary thing.
I watched the documentary about The Night Stalker. Last night and this morning. And it was so good, so see, now I have two Netflix recommendations for you guys, don't fuck with cats. And the Night Stalker documentary, both of those amazingly interesting murder cases, I've always loved crime stuff, I think most people do, I would say probably 95 percent of people are very fascinated by it. So I don't think I'm I'm special. Some people hated those, some people were like, I don't want to know anything about that, I get that, too.
But considering that most people are into this stuff and I'm really into this stuff.
I would really recommend these two, I think they're really good, but I do need to talk about a few things from the Night Stalker documentary, because even if you haven't watched it. Like, I don't think this would be a spoiler. I feel like it's just general. And analyzation. General, it's just general opinions about things like Holsey. OK, there's two things that blew my mind about this murder case, basically, this doesn't spoil it either, but there are a bunch of murders that happened in L.A., in San Francisco, and they were really brutal.
But they. We're kind of random and like not it wasn't like this serial killer had a pattern, like he just kind of would go do random shit and just like none of it made sense, like he would choose an old guy one day and like a child the next, which is very fucked. But still, you know what I'm saying? Actually, I don't think he killed any kids. I think he just did other bad things to them.
OK, well, then he chose like a young woman next, you know what I mean? It was like he had no pattern.
And he killed a lot of fucking people. Like, this is not a good guy we're talking about, he's sneaky, he's freaky, he's not good, but obviously they didn't know who he was for like. Many months, like they just couldn't figure out who he was. And so in the documentary, you don't see what he looks like until. The last two episodes. And I see this guy, his mug shot, and he literally. Looks like an IMG model, like I'm not fucking with you, this dude could easily be a male runway model.
Easily and listen, dungee wrong. This man is not my type, OK? I'm not like I like he is. He's a generally.
Good looking guy, like not what you would expect. At all. To be a serial killer, like he literally has the bone structure, the height, and like all of it, of like a literal. Runway model. Like, if he was walking in The Prada show, I wouldn't be surprised type of thing you see them saying. If he if I blinked and I looked around and I was at Aluva to unman show and I saw him, I'd be like.
This makes sense, what the fuck that was like, mind blowing to me and. I don't know why it's mind blowing to me, but I guess like to me. I always feel like serial killers are people that. Are just like. Maybe they, like, struggled with dating life, like maybe just because, you know, whatever they. Struggle to make friends because they were a little bit weird or eccentric or whatever, which is, you know, sad that sometimes but I don't know, I was like I always assume it to be that way.
Somebody who was rejected by society in a way and like had to go their own way.
Like, I feel like that tends to be the story. Like when I you know, in the past, when I had been researching, not researching, but like watching documentaries on serial killers and like Googling stuff or even like reading like articles like whatever, I've just always found that it's somebody who never had any, you know, friends never fit in stuff like that, like that's normally who it is.
But this dude. Literally had groupies of women that were like. Waiting outside of the courthouse when he was being convicted of his crimes, like fucking lifting up their tops and showing their boobies to him because they were like, oh my God, he's so good looking. He's so hot. Because he was even though he killed like 30 people, it didn't matter to them because he was good looking, which is like completely terrifying.
But anyway. Like he had no problem getting ladies even once he was convicted of crimes, he was getting ladies OK. Like what happened? He probably had a lot of friends, like I don't. He just seemed like a good guy that would have a lot of friends. It was crazy. It was crazy to me. Super interesting documentary. Check it out. But. I just don't understand how a serial killer could have groupies, I know it's like that with Ted Bundy, too, like Ted Bundy was a good looking guy and even though he was like a murderer.
It's so crazy how. If you're really physically attracted to somebody, you'll let them get away with virtually anything. It's like insane. Like, for example. If you're in a relationship with somebody and you are like, holy fuck, my significant other is a 10 out of 10, like, this is the hottest person I've ever seen in my life. They could literally cheat on you and you'll be like. It's OK. Like, I've been there, I've been there where I've been like, oh my God, this is like the most beautiful boy I've ever seen.
And then they fuck me over and I'm like, it's totally fine. But then they turn ugly to you. That's what's crazy, actually, over time, they become ugly to you. That's what's crazy about it. It's like initial attractiveness, you know, whatever. That's one thing, but the second that they fuck up enough, they become ugly to you. Usually it's like all the ladies that were outside of the courthouse for this Night Stalker murder that were like fan growing about him and wanted to kiss him.
The second that he, like, tried to stab them, they would be like. Wait, never mind, fuck you. You suck, and he would probably become ugly to them, but it's crazy, the psychology of that, like how people will just let other people get away with things if they find them attractive. It's very interesting. It's like the rules are like, I don't know, it's just I don't I don't understand how that works, but anyway.
Actually, in the other murder case, the guy was actually like a model, he actually was a model, but like he was a failed model, like somebody who never really got. His is like career never really started as a model, but he like tried to be one also a good looking guy. That's why I like. Why are these people it's like it. It just doesn't make sense, but whatever. I don't know why it's so shocking for me to, like, see a serial killer be like a good looking guy that could like, you know what I'm saying?
Like, that's another thing that's interesting. Why is that so shocking? I don't know I don't know why that's so shocking to me, I can't explain it. I guess it's like when I see somebody that I feel like was probably good looking as a middle school or like I, for example, was not a very good looking middle schooler. OK, which is fine, but I had a really awkward phase for sure.
And it was not easy. But I think most people like have that at some point in their life, whether it's in high school, middle school or whatever, there's always going to be an awkward phase. I norgren phase in elementary and middle school, kind of like was in both. Like, I feel like. Both of these serial killers never had an awkward phase, so I'm like, why are you killing people? Like, when did you get hurt?
Although I think with the Night Stalker guy, he had he had other troubles in life that were like beyond, you know, something that being awkward in middle school or not can fix. But, you know, anyway, enough of that. Check out those documentaries, blah, blah, blah.
OK, so here's our topic for today, and I just thought of it last night because I was on the phone with my dad and I was trying to explain how I was feeling mentally to him.
And we realized that there's this, like, really interesting. Thing going on. In the world, and I think it's a collective thing, I think everybody's feeling it, but I I'd never been able to put a finger on like what? Everybody's feeling, but I think I just figured it out, I think I might have cracked the code. I'm going to talk about it with you guys today. So. I make YouTube videos. And podcasts and whatever, but let's talk about YouTube specifically.
I've been making YouTube videos for. Three years. Where has it been, three, holy shit. Almost four. Possibly I'm not doing my math correctly, three or four, whatever, and.
Sometimes I get burnt out, I lose my creativity, I lose my passion, excuse me, I think I just breathe in a piece of cat hair.
My fucking microphone is cat hair on it, and so I keep inhaling it on accident, but anyway, sometimes I just get burnt out with YouTube. I'm not creative with it anymore. I have no ideas. I am not excited about doing it and. It's not fun to me in that moment that happens inevitably, it's happened to me probably 25 times throughout the past four years that I've been doing YouTube and it always passes, of course, but it does happen where I just get burnt out.
And it's just weird how.
Everything about it. Is like. Exhausting to me, it's like. Filming a video would be exhausting to me, editing a video when I used to edit was like the most exhausting thing ever. You know, even like making a thumbnail for the video was so exhausting. It was like I couldn't get myself to.
Be excited about any part of it. And I've learned. That now when I get burnt out, I just stop, I take a break and I'm good and I wait until I'm excited about it again, I wait until I get some ideas that pump me up or I wait until I just, like, want to be in front of a camera and I just want to talk to you guys and whatever. Like, I wait until my body is like, OK, it's time you can do that again.
And so I take a break.
Now, I've learned to take a break when I get burnt out, and that tends to fix it, but. What's really interesting is that. I'm feeling this similar sensation of burnout that I do with, like YouTube and stuff like that in my entire life.
Like, I feel like I'm not burnt out on YouTube, not burnt out on any of my hobbies, I feel like I'm fully burnt out on all areas of my life.
Like, I have life burnout. And. It's crazy because usually I just feel burnt out in, like, one area. I'm like, oh, fuck, I'm burnt out in my love life, I don't even want to, like, try with this, you know what I mean? Like, I'm just like I'm single or even if maybe I'm in a relationship, but I'm like I like, can't I don't know, like maybe it's with my love life, although that hasn't happened to me a long time.
But still it does have it has happened. Or maybe I'm burnt out with YouTube or maybe I'm burnt out with my podcast or maybe I'm burnt out with like being social, like talking to people on the phone.
I just like don't want to talk to people on the phone. I don't want to like, go get coffee with anybody. I like whatever.
I am burnt out. Just in life in general. I feel the similar sensation of like everything is exhausting. Everything hurts to do, like everything literally physically hurts to do, it physically hurts to go to the grocery store. It physically hurts to get out of bed. It physically hurts. To get dressed, it physically hurts to shower, it physically hurts to do virtually anything for me right now. And I was talking about it with my friend Olivia and she was like, dude, I feel the same way.
And I can tell I can see it in her, too. We're both on the same page.
It's like. We're just burnt out with everything my mom even is feeling the same way I was talking to her about it. And I mean, I think we can all. Put a finger on where it's stemming from and stemming from the fact that. Like, things are super negative right now in general, and it has been that way for almost a year, but. It almost feels like it continues to get worse, like the. Overall, state of what's going on in the world seems to keep getting worse and worse, but I think it feels like that, but I don't think that.
I think good times are really over our horizon. I genuinely do. I think that things are going to get a lot better very soon with everything. Especially in the United States, I can't speak for everywhere else, but I know the United States just kind of feels like a little bit of a of a nightmare and it has for like a year. But I think right now it's still bad and it's almost like, how is this not better yet?
How are things not, like, good already? Like, how have we been, like, in this limbo for almost a year now? How is it not over yet? And I mean, I get how it's not over yet. We're dealing with shit that's like not easy to handle and, you know, as human beings.
Not we're not all going to handle everything perfectly, so it makes sense that we're still in this like it, it's easier said than done to to, you know, get a pandemic under control. Thank you to Upstart for sponsoring this episode of Anything Goes. Last year showed us that you never know what life is going to throw at you. And if you use credit cards to pay for unexpected expenses, it can be overwhelming to manage that debt. Take control with upstart.
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Go to upstart dot com slash Emma. Thank you. I'll start this whole feeling of burnout within my whole life. Is crazy because. Not to be sad or weird, like I'm not even sad about this or like depressed about it, I mean, a little bit definitely like I'm not depressed about it. I just feel a little bit depressed in general.
But and maybe that's what it is. Maybe I just feel depressed. But it feels different because I don't feel like when I'm depressed, I tend to like. It's a little bit more. Extreme. Whereas this just feels like burnout, it doesn't feel like depression to me, I just feel burnt out because I'm not necessarily super sad.
I'm just, like, literally empty. But I feel like when I'm depressed, I'm like empty and sad. But right now, I'm usually just empty and then occasionally sad, but then also occasionally happy, too. It's not like so I don't know I don't know what this necessarily is, but I really struggle to find joy in anything right now.
Like, I don't feel extremely passionate about anything. For example, I recently started playing drums, I recently started cooking, and I've been doing those things still.
But for some reason, like, I get no joy from it anymore. It's like within the past week, like, I just I'm so burnt out with life that nothing literally makes me feel excited. Like I feel like I've. Used every hobby that I have. As a distraction, so much to a point where I'm now numb to the excitement about it. It's like really weird, it used to be like, oh, I learn a new drum beat and I like would literally feel like a rush of serotonin throughout my body, but now I just, like, don't feel anything.
I don't care about anything right now. And the reason why I'm talking about this is not to be like guys. I feel like shit. Listen to me. It's because I know that other people are probably feeling this way. It's it's a really terrifying feeling when no matter what you do, you feel kind of just indifferent about everything. Super, super, just like. Kind of empty in a way, I know I'm not the only one feeling like this, I know so many of you are probably feeling the same way.
It's like this feeling of like. We've just been doing the same thing over and over again, and I thought that I hit. A point where I couldn't do it any more, probably 15 times, but. Right now, I've never felt it like this before, where I'm just like. I don't know what to do. Like, nothing sounds appealing to me. Cooking, not appealing to me. Playing drums, not appealing to me, if somebody told me I could go to Hawaii right now.
I wouldn't even want to go. Like, I'm at a point where I'm like, I don't even like I don't want to do anything at all, I don't want to move. I just want to lay in bed. And that's it, I want to lay on the couch. With the lights off. And watch murder documentaries and that's it, that's all I want to do right now, and I don't want to shower. And fuck you if you want to make fun of me for that, OK?
Whatever. I don't want a shower, I don't want to do my chores, my house is turning into a mess because I literally can't clean up after myself.
It's just. Here we are. I don't know. I think a huge issue with it is that. I'm frustrated because I feel like I'm doing everything right. But yet. Nothing is making me feel fulfilled or satisfied like I have the hobbies, OK? I finally fucking have hobbies. But now even that's not helping. I have really good people in my life, I love them all so much, still not helping. Like, that's why I'm I'm stumped here, and I think that's.
The scary part, I don't have advice right now because I've taken every piece of advice that I have for moments like this and I've done it. Yet I still feel nothing, and this could literally be a chemical imbalance in my brain, I could fully be having a little depressive episode and not even really be knowing it, because I haven't had, like, some sort of outbreak, like I feel like whenever I'm having a depressive episode. I tend to have like an outburst, if you will, like where I just explode and I haven't had that and I haven't.
Actually, I did have that we I did have that a few days ago, so maybe I'm just feeling depressed right now. That could be it. But I would say that probably a lot of us are feeling depressed right now because for me, when I get depressed, it's not all the time, it is all the time. But it's like. I have really good moments with it where I'm like, fine, like I feel great, I can feel great.
For months even. But then it always comes back, but like I it mine is very much on and off, it's not a constant, constant thing. I feel like I can get out of it. I can train myself to get out of it. And I've done it hundreds of times, but. Is that what this is? Or is this just literally in effect of everything that we're going through as a planet right now? And it's like beyond depression, it's like something that everybody's feeling right now, I don't know, but regardless, I think that a lot of us are going to be experiencing this one way or another.
And I just want to let you know that you're not alone. I am so frustrated feeling like I'm doing everything right. And it's just not working. It's just not helping. Another interesting thing is I feel like I've felt every emotion and done every action. That I am capable of, does that make sense? I feel like I've talked about everything, I feel like I've thought about everything. I feel like I've done everything. I feel like. What is there left to do?
I feel like I've done everything. Does that make sense? I feel like. I'm just a broken record at this point. I've already talked about every conversation point that I literally have in my head. I've already like. Done everything and talked about everything, I don't feel like I have anything new to offer. Like, if I'm in a conversation with somebody, I don't have anything new to say, I've never been one to be quiet and like not engage in conversation, but I feel like more than ever I'm doing that because I just haven't experienced anything new.
I haven't thought about anything new. I've already thought about and done everything. Bazillions of times at this point, there's no new experiences for me to talk about, so I'm almost starting to lose.
My social skills, in a way, and I wrote this down in my notes, they said A lack of experience is making my brain atrophy literally like I feel like my brain. It's like I'll I'll use a metaphor here to help explain that. Let's say you get a cast. On your hand, because you broke you broke your wrist, OK, and. The muscle in your hand starts to get super weak. And it starts to atrophy. Because it's not being used, it's in a cast, that's how I feel with my brain.
I'm constantly on autopilot. Because I'm by myself quite a lot, which means immediate autopilot when I'm by myself, but also I'm not having really any social stimulation at all. I mean. And when I do. I literally don't know how to act, and I've never had this problem, but I get. Severe anxiety in a setting above. For people. Now, and that has never happened to me before, like, for example, I literally went to the grocery store the other day and I have not gone to the grocery store in a long time because I order my groceries online.
That's a really good hack, Amazon Prime. If you have Amazon Prime, you can order Whole Foods to your house and usually you can find a free delivery option, which is what I do. So it's almost like I fucking didn't even it's like I might as well have gone to the grocery store because it's free delivery. So what the fuck? It's the same thing.
Anyway, I went to the grocery store the other day in person because I was like, you know what? Like I should get out. And I was so beyond anxious. It was so weird. I, like, felt like everybody in the grocery store was looking at me, which is just like, stupid. I also was pushing around a cart and I kept. Feeling like my cart was getting in everybody's way and I like, you know, when you park your car somewhere so that you can go walk around that area of the grocery store and then you bring stuff back to your cart.
I kept getting anxious about where I was leaving my cart and I was like, is this going to get in somebody's way and is somebody going to get mad at me? Like, whatever I was overthinking the fucking grocery store.
What the fuck? You know? Also, when I was like checking out, I felt like. Literally talking to this stranger was like making me uncomfortable, like I was uncomfortable talking to the cashier, like I felt a slight discomfort in my body and I've never had that problem for.
Another thing that I've noticed about. Being social is that anytime I have any kind of social interaction, it can be big or small. I'm anxious afterwards to like. I feel like I fucked up or I did something weird, and I'm and I'm replaying in my head 50 times more than I ever have before, because I've always been somebody that struggles with this, where I will be social.
And then like afterwards, I just I'm overthinking everything I did or said.
But I feel like I actually had gotten a lot better at that and just a lot more confident in myself and my social skills and all of that. But recently. Back to square one, I like it back to square one, but like also. Worse, sorry, my ears are itchy because I have allergies and I don't know how to itch that deep inside of my ear, so I'm just uncomfortable. But anyway.
I cannot have a social interaction without it, like haunting me for at least the next 20, 30 minutes, sometimes even 24 hours.
I just feel uncomfortable around other people. Like being around other people, so exhausting to me, I would just so much rather not do it. I like. But it's like inevitable sometimes you are going to have to be around people. There are moments where I need to be around people, you know. Safely, of course, but like sometimes there are moments when, you know, you have to be around people, it's part of life. Sometimes you have to.
And even during covid, like even during covid, there are some moments where, you know, if I go to the grocery store. Or like, you know, there's something work related that, you know, I like, whatever, whatever it may be, there's sometimes I have to be around people in person and it just sucks. But do you even on the phone is bad, too, though, like I've been so many people have been FaceTime me recently because I feel like everybody's just bored again.
And it's like, oh, let's just talk on the phone. No, I decline every single call that I receive and I feel bad, but I just can't do it.
Because I'm going to overthink the conversation I had with that person, I'm going to. But I'm also just going to be physically uncomfortable during the conversation. So what's the point if I'm uncomfortable by that right now and I just don't have the energy to do it, then I'm just not going to fucking do it. And I know I'm hurt. I'm I know I'm burning bridges right now by doing this, but I just can't help it. Listen, I'm talking about this strictly for the purpose of someone relating, I really, really hope that if any of you are feeling like this, just no, I.
I have a feeling that this is something that. Is just. A product of what we're all going through and. It's going to pass, we're all going to get our social skills back, life is going to become a lot more fun at some point.
It has to. And. That's just that. Thank you to a dormi for sponsoring this episode of Anything Goes. Valentine's Day is coming up, and this year I might actually have a Valentine. I think I'm gonna have a Valentine this year. For the first time ever, I've never had one. Actually, I did in fifth grade, but I don't even think we spoke the whole day because we were all too nervous. If you need something special to spice up your Valentine's Day, a dormi is the place to go.
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Check them out now at a dormi dotcom. Thank you Adamah. You guys are the best. But another interesting thing that I was thinking about, this is kind of off topic. We're kind of moving on a little bit. But I saw something on Twitter that was like this time right now is like the roaring 20s. In the roaring 20s, what were the roaring 20s, roaring 20s, it was in the 1920s. It was a decade of economic growth and widespread prosperity driven by recovering from wartime devastation in deferred spending, a booming construction, rapid growth of consumer goods such as automobiles and electricity in North America and Europe.
So basically the roaring 20s. Was. A time when everything got really fun after a time of devastation, y'all, I'm so down for this. It's only twenty, twenty one, we still got time to have roaring 20s. And listen, history always repeats itself. So I think we have something if history truly repeats itself, I think we're going to be in for a treat very soon.
I also just remember that I used the word atrophy earlier, and I really want to make sure I use that right definition of atrophy.
As a verb, it means a body tissue or an organ waste away, typically due to the degeneration of cells. OK, that wasn't bad. That maybe wasn't the perfect word for it, but definitely not the worst word for it.
Anyway. Manifesting the roaring 20s, that's what I'm manifesting for all of us, this is going to pass.
We're all going to be OK. The thing is. There's nothing to worry about. And what I know that, like what I'm saying about myself, if somebody like maybe is in. If somebody maybe isn't feeling this way right now. And they're listening to this might be like, wait, this is like fucking depressing, am I like, what the hell? Yes, but also I know it's going to pass for me and for everybody else that's feeling this way.
And it's just going to be OK. It is, it just sucks right now and it sucks feeling so like empty about shit. It sucks, but we're going to get through it.
And we're going to get our social skills back. And we're going to enjoy being around other people. Well, actually, I don't know, I might be permanently. An introvert now. But. Actually, I don't think I'm an introvert. I don't even know anymore I'm I'm confused because I guess it's like there's no way to test it out and really find out. Whether or not I'm like fully an introvert or an extrovert, because it's like I don't really have a choice but to be an introvert right now.
But I think that once things start getting back to normal, you know, our brains are going to relearn in rean joy, social shit and. We'll get back to where we were before it will happen, I believe it might not be the same as it was before.
It never will be, but it's going to be close enough.
One more thing I want to say before we get into questions today is that although I just talked about this for 20, 30 minutes and I don't have a solution, that doesn't mean that it's not going to pass. I think that this is not something that has a solution. I think the best thing that you can do is. Pushed through. Just push through it. Because. Even though normally my advice would be, you know, get out of the house, like go for a walk, go for a run, you know, pick up a hobby, I would normally say that.
But right now I'm even struggling with doing those things and feeling satisfied after like that's not even helping me right now.
So I don't know. But I think that what you have to try to do is just keep going like. Going for jogs really helps me most of the time recently it hasn't been helping as much, but I'm still doing it. Because there's a chance that one day it's going to help and sometimes it does help a little bit, sometimes playing drums does help a little bit, but I feel very numb towards all of it. But it doesn't matter. I'm going to keep going.
I'm going to keep trying. And I know that it's going to pass.
It's like riding it out, it's like if you're swimming in the ocean and a big wave crashes on top of you and it kind of tumbles you a little bit and you're kind of stuck under the wave for a second, like being pinned down.
I don't know if that's ever happened to anybody else, but it has happened to me. When, like, literally a wave just like fucking engulfs you and you're like stuck under the wave for a second and it's kind of terrifying.
But the best thing that you can do is just stay calm. And wait for the wave to go over your head and then you just pop up and you're fine, I've been fucked up by some waves, though I've been fucked up to her. I got like back flipped under the water, like pants in top, both fall off type of thing. It happens. But guess what? You get up once the wave passes over your head and you're good.
And then the next wave that comes. You might write it all the way into the shore, God only knows, you know what I'm saying. Might be the best wave that you've ever experienced in it, and it was so fun and you got to ride it and have fun. I'm saying. Question Time, let's see what you guys are thinking about, somebody said, I know you've never had a one year anniversary with somebody, but what are your general opinions on anniversaries?
I think anniversaries are really cool because I think, you know, I mean, obviously, time is kind of a manmade is it a manmade concept?
I guess it is a manmade concept, but. I think it's just cool to acknowledge. A full year, a full journey around the sun with somebody, because it forces you to reflect on like, wow, OK, look at everything we've been through. You know, we've, like, grown so much as a couple. We've been through so much shit together. And it's like a fun time to, like, appreciate what you've been together. I don't think that it's corny.
I don't think it's stupid. I think it's a. Reminder of all the shit that you've been through together and all the good times, hard times, all of that, and it's just like a time to appreciate what you and that other person have built. And I think that's a really beautiful thing, not that I really know much about it because I never had one, but. Well, I mean, I guess like an anniversary could also be like a month.
But I feel like anniversaries are more like years.
Like six months, I think, actually six months, you can I don't even think no, I actually I have had a six month anniversary, definitely, but I have not had a year. But it's like, what do you do? On a six month anniversary, it's like, OK, you're not going to get the other person a gift, like I feel like it's too. Soon, it's like not that you haven't been together long enough to be like, OK, fuck, like this is like a big anniversary.
Well. I feel like a six month anniversary year, like let's go to dinner, I love you so much. Oh, my God, I can't believe we did that. And we managed said I can't believe we're still here. Wow. Awesome. And then, like, a year, you're like, OK, I'm gonna get you a gift.
And we're really going to celebrate because we really we had the whole motherfucking journey around the sun together, this is so special.
I think anniversaries are really good to celebrate, especially like year long ones.
But I saw this thing on tape talk about how like.
This couple celebrates every month. I'm like, guys, you can only go to dinner and, like, watch a movie so many times. Once a month. That seems like a little much to me, but I mean, it's their own and I do not judge. Somebody said, what do you think is the best way to meet a significant other, for example, through dating at mutual friends, etc., I would say my favorite way is mutual friends because.
Like they've already been vetted. Do you know what I mean? Is that the right word? And I have to fucking ask Siri again. Definition of vetted as a noun, it means a veterinary surgeon. We want to hear the remaining one.
No, wait, she took away the definition. Definition of vetted verb as a noun, it means a veterinary surgeon. Do you want to hear the remaining one? Yes, as a verb, it means make a careful and critical examination of something.
OK, AMA with the new vocab words. Whoo!
Yeah. Like when you meet somebody through a mutual friend, they've already been vetted. You know them. Like you don't maybe know them closely, but it's like they're in your circle. Like you. If you trust your friend and they trust this person, then they're probably not too fucking bad. Whereas if you just meet somebody blindly. On the Internet or some shit, you're really like anything could happen, they could be a serial killer, they could be a fucking narcissist, like you don't know their anything about their personality.
And so that's why I prefer.
Meeting through mutual friends, but also sometimes, like you meet somebody online and it just works. You could also meet somebody online that is a mutual friend, that's another option, but the more vetted they are, the better. It's just like playing it safe, you know, that they're not going to kill you if you ever meet somebody online. Make sure to be in a public place for the first time, because that shit is scary. Somebody said last episode he had trouble adjusting to your new hair, and I just wanted to say that I love it, thank you so much.
I would like to report that I do like my new hair now.
I hated it for the first week, but it has grown on me and now I like it.
And that should be a reminder that if you ever get a haircut and you hate it, you'll probably like it a week later. And if you don't like it a week later, it'll grow out. So just remember that. But I do like it now. I'm having fun with it. Somebody said. How do you manage to lower your screen time? I've been wanting to do it, but it's really hard. I love you so much. I would say set well, there's a few ways I think no one would be to get a hobby.
I mean, that's kind of like what helps me is like if I get all sucked into cooking, if I feel like I've been on my phone for too long, I will put that shit down and I'll cook something big, something that helps a lot because it's like knowing, OK, I've been doing this for too long, I need to stop. But then having something to go do that really helps. Watching documentaries has helped me get off my phone because even though, you know, I'm still staring at a screen.
It's different because I'm not engaging in the matrix of social media, which I think is the main. Bad thing for my brain, like watching an interesting documentary is not harmful to me, I don't think it's educational and it makes me feel good after because I'm like, damn, like I know more about this or that, like whatever. That really helps, obviously, like playing drums or something really helps, but also like setting a timer if you like.
OK, I know.
I've been on my phone for too long, I'm going to give myself another 15 minutes and then I'm done and then I have to go do something else, literally going on your phone and setting a 15 minute timer. That really helps. And I've done that before.
And it does actually help because then the sound goes off and you're like, fuck, I know I need to go do something else.
And I do. Next, somebody said, what do you think are fun things to do when hanging out with a significant other.
Well. I think that when you're dating somebody, it's so important to do fun things together. I do, because I think that it's really easy when you're in a relationship to just get really comfortable and just want to lay on each other's couches all the time. And watch TV, but. It's really nice to go out and go do something together. I love going getting food with significant other. I think that's like the best thing you could possibly do.
Another thing is you could go. Sitt. Somewhere. In the car or in nature and talk about something, talk about anything Roc's. Drama, whatever, going in, like sitting in nature somewhere is so nice, like at the beach, even like I just like hanging out at the beach or like hanging out. Unlike a mountain somewhere that, like, has a nice view, you know, and just like talking about random shit, that's fun.
Easygoing, you could also. Go do some sort of gimmicky activity, and I don't I'm not using gimmick in a negative way, like you could go to fucking Disneyland.
Not right now, though, but you could go to Disneyland. You could go to a fuckin escape room.
I don't personally like escape rooms because I'm not intelligent enough for them. Either that or I just don't have enough patience. But like, you could go to stuff like that, emphasis on doing things together instead of just laying at home all day together. Because here's the thing. I'll lay in bed all day if I don't have something to get me out of bed. Use your significant other as a reason to get out of bed and go do something fun.
Next, somebody said, what are your thoughts on people who date for publicity or in a fake relationship? Do you think that you would ever do that?
I personally would never do that now, but at the same time, as much as I would never do it. And I just think that's such like a. Odd thing to do. I also understand that. You know, do what you got to do to get your bag in a way, you know, who am I to judge? You know, someone else doing that. Who am I to judge? You know what I mean, it's like it's kind of an.
It's not harming me, you know, so it's like.
If somebody wants to fake their relationship for money, I mean, do what you got to do, I guess, but I just feel like for me, my whole kind of feelings about being on the Internet is that I just want to be as real as possible.
Obviously, I'm not going to share everything about my life. But. I still want to be as real as possible, like I would never fake something for the Internet because I just don't believe in that. I don't feel like that's the message I want to spread or like the that doesn't like I think that the thing about being on the Internet is I only want to put stuff out there that, like, is going to make somebody feel good or whether it's just because they feel like they have a friend in the room when they're listening to the podcast.
That's why I personally listen to podcasts. It feels like I have a friend in the room or it's like a distraction for a little bit. Or maybe, you know, something I said could make somebody feel understood, whatever it may be. That's my goal. So I'm never going to do some added shit like fake a relationship because that doesn't benefit anybody. It doesn't help anybody. Who does that help? No one. You see what I'm saying?
There's no positive impact from faking a relationship. So then what's the point that's that's how I look at it, but also like no hate or judgment to anybody who does not do what you got to do.
OK. Somebody said if you were to keep one pair of shoes only, what would it be? Right now it would be my platform ankle. Doc Martens, the ones that like are more of a loafer, not the high top Doc Martins, but the low top dog Martins that are platform. They are unbelievable. They are such a staple. They work with any pants and I wear them all the time and abuse them. I literally wear them way too much, but they're the perfect shoe.
I mean, a close second would probably have to be literally my fuzzy Birkenstocks, but those are like not cute. So they're not ugly, but they're not. They're not they don't work with everything. Somebody said, do you ever feel like you're missing out on foods that have meat? If you guys don't know I'm a vegetarian, I don't because I just don't. I never ate meat.
I was born a vegetarian. I was raised a vegetarian. I've never consistently ate meat at any point in my life. I did have a phase there when I was an athlete. Where I would begin before I had competitions, because they would literally keep me full all day. I don't know if I've ever talked about that before, but like, yeah, right before competitions, I would eat bacon and I would literally.
Never get tired like it was, because it has so much fat in it and like shit like that and it's like a high calorie but like low volume food.
So, like, you can eat like four pieces of it and get like a lot of energy to burn. And so that's and I probably could have done something else. Like I probably didn't need to eat meat. I probably could have, you know. Eaten something else, but for some reason, that just was like my weird. Tradition, but it was like, but. But primarily, I've been vegetarian my whole life and I don't feel like I'm missing out because it's like there's literally so many yummy vegetarian and vegan foods like you can literally go to.
Any restaurant in L.A. and find a yummy vegan option, so it's like I don't feel like I'm missing anything or vegetarian, I'm not vegan, but I am vegetarian, so I am. This is like the time to be. A vegan or vegetarian, because there's so many yummy meat alternatives right now, like literally this is Burger Place in L.A. called Manti's and they make vegan burgers. They taste like probably better than a real burger. I tried a burger one time and I thought it was so gross.
This like vegan burger. So good. You see, I'm saying. It's like the perfect time because there's so many alternative options. So I don't feel like I miss out now, and if you want to become a vegetarian, send it or vegan, whatever. Somebody said, top fears, I feel like you're scared of nothing that's crazy. I am scared of a lot of things. Well, I do have a little phobia of caterpillars. So, like, I just like have a phobia of them and I don't understand why, but they really freak me out and I like that's the only thing that will make me scream and run away.
I'm not like that with anything else. I mean, if there's, like a spider crawling on me, I'm going to freak out. But like, if I see a spider from across the room, I'm not going to freak out. I can't even look at a caterpillar without just feeling immense fear. And I don't know why it's so weird, but I genuinely have a phobia of it. And so that's not good.
But I'm also afraid of people manipulating me and like tricking me into thinking that they care about me when they don't. That's a huge fear of mine. I also constantly have a fear of being watched. I constantly feel like I'm being watched or filmed or listened to.
I feel like I'm constantly being wiretapped or something, or somebody has a hidden camera in my home or they're watching me through a window like I constantly am freaked out about that.
That's a huge fear of mine. I'm also I mean, I'm very scared of being, like, followed.
Or spied on. That's a big one. Uh. And I'm also scared of people that I I care about dying. I just knocked on what somebody said before you moved to L.A. Did you have high or low expectations for L.A.? When I moved to L.A., I didn't really have any expectations. I mean, I feel like I just didn't know what to expect, really. And it also all happened so fast. So I didn't really have expectations.
But I will tell you that I didn't expect L.A. to be this disgusting. I'll explain.
The literal city of L.A. is so dirty, like it is so dirty.
The other day I was driving home from a flea market. And. It was kind of far away, and I normally don't. Go out of town this far, but I was like, you know what, I need to get out of the house. This flea market is open. I'm gonna go check it out, whatever. And.
I was driving home and in an area that I normally don't drive home through, and there was trash everywhere, there were mattresses, couches, whatever.
Everywhere and I was like, this is just insane, and the thing is. It's like that everywhere. This area was a lot worse. It was like by a freeway exit and there was just like a lot of. Free space, so there's like a lot of room for trash to build up, but it was just crazy. And then but even like in the area that I live, it's like. There's just trash like mounds of trash, like I'm not just talking about like some litter on the ground, I'm talking about piles of trash and like furniture and clothes and like, weird like it's insane.
And it's so sad because, you know, L.A. has such a cool energy to it if you want to look at it. I mean, sometimes it does suck, but like L.A. can be a really cool vibe, you know what I mean? But it's just getting dirtier and dirtier every day and it's just crazy. And that's been kind of a bummer.
It's kind of a bummer to be in that type of environment where, you know, it's just like really dirty. But I don't know how to fix that. Like, I don't know what the solution is to that problem. I have no idea. I am only a child. But like, it's really sad how much like dirtier it's gotten. I don't know. Everybody just recycle, I guess, I don't know, like I don't know what the solution is to this, I should do research on this because I genuinely don't know, like why this is happening in L.A. And I might do some research on this today because I'm really curious about, like, you know, what is the root of the problem?
And like, what can we do to help? I guess.
I don't know. Somebody said, do you consider yourself a jealous person? Yes and no, I. I tend to be pretty good. Throughout my life, like I've always been pretty good, actually.
I've gotten jealous as a kid in middle school and high school for sure, but now in the current present moment, I don't really consider myself to be too jealous or even competitive like.
I'm usually on everybody's team, I'm kind of just like faking it, like whatever. Definitely not really jealous with friends. I just don't like being competitive with other girls, like I just like to be on the same team. It makes life a lot more fun. But when I'm in a relationship.
Actually, in the past, I was never jealous in relationships, but sometimes when you find the right guy, it makes you get weird.
You're like, wait, why am I like, why would I get mad if literally anybody looked at him?
Or at least I'm not speaking for myself, like I almost feel like if you like, the only area that I've been jealous in in the past two years probably is. Within a relationship, it's not even like jealous, but it's like almost more like territorial, maybe so maybe that's not jealousy. Literally, it's like this weird thing where I just feel I feel territorial, I'm like if any girl looks at him, I will be so mad, you know what I mean?
I don't know why that is, but I never used to be like that. But I think it's like. Maybe that's a product of like I don't know what that's a product of, because it might be that that really means that you actually care.
Who knows, because I've never felt like that that's not something that I felt like in all relationships. In fact, usually I don't care. I'm like, OK, but randomly now I like I feel like over time I've grown into my territorial ness within relationships.
I don't know what that means, but not in a toxic way. It's not in a toxic way. It's always been like a. OK, love this person so much, and I want them to be only for me, so. That's just what my brain feels, but it's also not like I'm like you can never be. If you are in the grocery store and you see a woman, you must go out of the store like it's not like that.
Like I am not territorial or jealous or weird in any way. Like actively. It's more just like deep down in the back of my head, I'm like, yeah, nobody's allowed to get near them. But I think that's also normal. But I also I've never felt like that before. So but overall, on a scale of one to 10, jealousy was 10. Being very jealous, I would say I'm probably like a three in general.
Somebody said if you could go into the future, would you go? No, I don't like that. I don't like anything like that. I would never travel back to the past. I would never travel to the future. I would never want to read anybody's mind. I don't want any kind of like superpower. I've never craved that. I you I just know I don't ever want to fuck up with anything.
I fuck up on it like I don't want anything to get fucked up.
Like I like just going with the flow and letting it exist in letting things happen as they do. I would never want to know what happens next because then it might affect how I do something now. So no, somebody said, what is your love language and how does your love language mesh with other people's love languages? I think my love language. What is my love language?
OK, there's five, so there's acts of service, quality time receiving gifts, physical touch and words of affirmation. Weirdly, I used to be words of affirmation and quality time. Weirdly, I feel like my love language has actually. OK, well, I have two different kinds of love languages with. Relationships like romantic relationships. I think mine are words of affirmation and physical touch. But within like friendships and other relationships like that. I think it would probably be words of affirmation in quality time.
It's actually a really interesting test. If you haven't taken it, you should. It tells you how.
Like what you need to feel loved by others, like, for example, in a relationship I like. Need to be like. Hugged all lot. I need that for some reason. Or in a relationship, I need somebody to like. Encourage me and like, remind me that they love me, like I need that a lot as well, whereas in a friendship. I need like. Conversations and one on one time. And also words of affirmation, which would be like reminding me that they care about me, but like, see, I don't give a fuck about physical touch in a friendship.
I actually prefer it to not happen. I prefer to not be touched by a majority of people. I also don't care about receiving gifts. Like I don't care about that. That doesn't make me feel loved at all or acts of service. Somebody helping me out with something that's nice. And I love that and I appreciate that beyond belief. But that doesn't make me feel loved, though. So it's super interesting. Take the test. It's very, very fun.
But anyway, that's it for today's episode. Thank you guys for hanging out with me. I love you all so much. Appreciate you all so much. And. I really hope that. You're doing OK and I'm here for you. We're going to get through all of this together. I know we're also sick of this burnout feeling, but it's going to pass. And everything's going to be OK. And if you're listening to this and I haven't responded to your texts or calls in two months, it's not personal.
But also don't expect to call anytime soon because I really just can't do it anyway.
Don't forget to review us on Apple podcast.
If you like the podcast, give us a five stars and it helps me stay in the loop about if you guys are liking it or hating it, whatever. Hopefully you're liking it. I don't know. Also subscribe on Spotify anywhere else.
You listen to your podcasts. Also follow us on Twitter at a podcast. I ask for questions on there. So if you guys want to ask your questions and stuff like that, there is that. And I love you all so much again. I'm saying it again and have an amazing rest of your day, or at least as amazing as we can make it more human.
I love you guys. And good night.