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I'ma let you in on a little secret, he told me, bring a bucket of macaroni and cafo for chump Daniloff love it.


Did you know that I was in a punk band in high school that covered the theme song to fishing with Orlando Wilson? Hashtag bets snagging hashtag private pond hashtag stockier hashtag. Anyone can hire a guide hashtag Lyford hashtag. Pep's hashtag skinny FUBU poisonings are almost exclusively the result of DIY mishaps, much like backyard moonshine blindness here in the States. Good morning to generate angler's welcome to Ben, where we invite fishermen from all walks of life, all skill levels and all factions to unite for an audio version of what Burning Man might be like if it was held at the Bass Pro shops.


I'm Joe Somali.


And I'm Miles Nulty, and it is now officially the full on dog days of summer.


Yeah, man.


And I mean, I guess it depends on where you live because it could be a couple of different things. If you're if you're up here in the bitter north country like me, we're enjoying our annual five minutes of shirtsleeve fishing with her.


Or, you know, in my case, that means just covering up with really light stuff because I have a skin cancer problem.


But if you're latitude skews southward, you might be you might be hanging out on the couch somewhere, mainlining AC and doing your meals until the water temps drop below the boiling point.


I remember learning that lesson the first time I ever fished in the West many years ago, like I was boiling midday. We got into town late and then I woke up the next morning and went outside and the same stuff I was wearing at noon and I was like, Oh no, that doesn't work. So suddenly it's 25 degrees.


Anyway, I think out here I am. It's like somewhere in between. It's it's too damn hot for trout fishing. At least during the day, though, this is mousing season. Nighttime is the right time. And I do hope to get to do some of that soon. But for me, offshore is the place to be cool.


Offshore breezes, mahi and yellow fins and bloody decks. Man, I just have to bring along a gym bag full of sweat towels.


Well, that's that gym bag that you're always here. That's that's that's full of sweaters. I always assumed I mean, I assumed it was full of bootleg tapes of like live GWA shows and fish themed Beanie Babies. But, you know, it's a different gym bag. It's a different gym bag. That's the other gym and something every day since we're on the subject learning things, we have official report.


And this one comes to us from a part of the country that I would personally like to learn a whole lot more about. I have only fish South Louisiana once, and I had an absolute blast.


Really, you've only been down to South Louisiana one time, one time and one time. Oh, man. It's like one of my favorite places on the planet. I've been down there a bunch. And what's funny is when most people think of anglers from Louisiana, they think Cajun, like like the Landry's on that alligator show that's been on.


We got to try sugar. Yeah. For thirty years. But the story line hasn't changed once.


Like not to get off, like, do people still buy the chewed shirts that hasn't that run its course? I hope so.


Anyway, my crew down there, they're the boys in the Delta, right? They're not the Cajun dudes. And it's weird. They're like Southern dudes with a northie swagger. It's like Louisiana meets like Staten Island people.


But I don't know how else to describe it.


They're all good people, though.


And I'm really happy that my buddy down the road to make time in his busy crabbing and hog shooting sketch to provide us with a solid report for this region.


Hey, all this is down the road there, and at least that's what my partners call me, I use my real name for the reports, but got a couple of warrants out in New Orleans for a little incident on Bourbon Street when I'm Mike Tyson, called a Cowboys fan after the Saints whipped their asses. I guess the daiquiris at the Superdome wasn't quite strong enough that night. So appealing to a six pack of four locals and shit got real weird after that, so far as you notice, is down a road there.


Anyway, this week, South Louisiana fish and reporters brought to you by my old lady Chantelle. I'm back in her good graces again. She finally let me go over to a place and pick up some rods and reels I left over there a while back. So I brought her a bushel of crabs and, you know, we back to getting along. So shout out to her for that. Unfortunately, she already pawned my generator, but like the good Lord says, I'll forgive and forget speckled trout was on fire last week.


If you can get away from the dirty ass river water shit. I had to run all the way to Gosha Island to find clean water, but we was catching trout every cast as fast as you could throw for a walk. Main thing is to have good live shrimp under a pop and cork or Carolina Reed. If you're going to take the right to Gaucher, make sure you bring plenty beer because you keskin eighteen deer in the time it takes to get all the way to go out there.


My little cousin Timmy said they wear the snapper out on the rigs outside of Southwest Pass Red snapper season open a couple of weeks ago and it's a limit every time they go. The mangroves are good too and I'll let you in on a little secret. He told me, bring a bucket of macaroni and cat food for chum, then little love it. It pulls them off the rig faster than a back seat bang on prom night. Now the red fish and hadn't quite picked up yet.


The damn grass and the pond is so thick this year, thanks to global warming or whatever it is. We never had a cold winter, so the grass never died back and the red hand got in there. Thickett Best bet for reds is probably to stick to the lakes with a dead shrimp under a cork holler at my boy Rodney. When you get down around Shell Beach, he's got fresh shrimp, is selling right off the boat. Look for a boat called the Cougar.


Honey, when you get down to the dock, it's freakin Africa hot right now. So get out real early or late in the afternoon. You still going to be sweating your ass off, but it's worth getting a few fish in a box if you don't get no fish in a box. That my boy, Joey Kampo, he shot fifteen wild pigs last night and he don't feel like cleaning them all. Just bring your ice chips. And that's pretty much it for this week's report.


As always, I'd like to thank my unofficial sponsors, Miller High Life Ugly Stick Rods in the tackle section at Wal-Mart. Now look, holler at me if you want to go fish. They took my captain's license away for little incident involving a fifth of vodka and too many Red Bulls. But I'm running trips under the table and I can put you on them. I can't actually give them a number out here, but just hang out at the McDonald's and mirro until you see my truck is the white GMC with the dog tint all around.


Hi later. Wait, the the the cat food and the macaroni snapper chum, that was bullshit, right? Oh, absolutely not, man, that's real. I've been down that road that works.


Oh, I love the Louisiana meat fishing crews because they're loaded with all sorts of tricks like that to get it done.


Like they ain't coming back empty handed. It's just it's just not an option.


Even if that means switching from the ugly stick to like an AR 15 man. I've seen some shit down there. Yeah.


I mean, that does fit right. Like I said, I've only been there once, but the dude I fished down there was so dialed, so die hard and so deadly. Yeah. And and it kind of seemed like that whole catch and release fishing culture hadn't really caught on. I mean, you know, I was coming from Montana where most people treat trout like Faberge eggs. And and my man Shane just started ripping Redd's and toss them in the cooler.


Yeah, that's how you do.


That's definitely how they do it down there. And I've been out with guys that end up catching more than the clients, especially if the clients are rookies, because it's this.


It's this. This is the truth, man.


You don't want to be the guide at the lodge that evening. That didn't limit. Yeah, that's no bullshit. It's unacceptable. Like a man guide pools down there. But, you know, honestly, I'm all about catching and releasing fish to protect fisheries and being smart about harvest and all that good stuff.


But I will also house some redfish on the half shell hellyeah and on.


And on that note, let's move on to film clips, the part of the show where we tell you everything you never thought you wanted to know about a fish.


You may or may not have heard of it. And this week we're talking about a fish that you might want to think twice about eating. This week we're talking about fugu, a fish so delicious it might kill you or maybe just get you real high.


Fugu is the Japanese term for puffer fish, and it has long been a delicacy charged with a hint of danger and a lot of hype. Puffer fish contain a potent neurotoxin called tetrodotoxin that's lethal to humans. Ingestion causes loss of muscular control, so the victim slowly stops being able to breathe, but remains completely conscious. Worse, tetrodotoxin poisoning has no antidote or treatment. So why would anyone eat this fish? See the toxin? Is it found in the meat?


It's concentrated in the liver, ovaries, eyes and skin. The flesh, when prepared correctly by a trained chef, is perfectly safe and supposedly really delicious. A firm white meat that's usually eaten Robert, sometimes blanched or fried. FUBU has long been a delicacy in Japan, Korea and China. But the fish gained global notoriety in 1977 when a famous Japanese kabuki actor died from eating it.


Legend has it that if you consume just a tiny amount of the toxin, your mouth and tongue go numb and you catch a unique buzz. And like other drugs, the more you consume, the higher your tolerance. Back then, it was fashionable in certain circles to have. The chef makes a small amount of fugu liver with the soy sauce that you did your meeting. Chefs got to know their regular customers levels of tolerance and adjusted their dosage accordingly. Apparently, this actor, like so many others, OD'd on his favorite drug.


His just happened to be a poisonous puffer fish instead of heroin.


Today, the Japanese government strictly regulates FUBU sale and consumption. Chefs train for years to become licensed food cutters and playing Russian roulette with liver in the soy sauce is no longer kosher. These days, fugu poisonings are almost exclusively the result of DIY mishaps, much like backyard moonshine blindness here in the States. Fun side note turns out that humans might not be the only creatures dosing tetrodotoxin for fun. A BBC film crew making a TV series about dolphins in 2013 witnessed a pod passing a puffer, according to an article in the UK's Daily Mail.


Quote, They nudged the fish with their snouts and as the toxin is released into the water, they seem to lapse into a trance like state. The dolphins were filmed gently playing with the puffer, passing it between each other for 20 to 30 minutes at a time. Unlike the fish, they had caught his prey, which were swiftly torn apart, end quote. I myself have gotten numerous puffer fish. Usually when I was getting my ass kicked by Bonefish.


I need a little confidence booster like Bonefish. Puffers come up on to shallow sandy flats to feed on shrimp and crabs. Unlike bones, they're incredibly easy to see, pretty difficult to spook and eat. Just about anything you put in front of them.


They also fight like, well, they actually fight exactly what you would expect. A balloon full of water with tiny little fins. I like pretty underwhelming. So far, I haven't been adventurous or desperate enough to try any one. As an American, I prefer to have my food kill me slowly.


Question for you. Yeah, I'm a betting man, you're going to say yes, you ever seen the serpent in the Rainbow? Oh, yes, I have. It's been it's been at least 20 years. But yeah, I remember that was that was Kraven. Yes.


Great movie about voodoo in the islands and fugu powder.


It's like it's like the starring role plays the biggest role. Like that's how they turn people into zombies. That's voodoo pouted.


I forgot all about that kid serpent and the Rainbow rent that at Blockbuster anyway. Anyway, up here.


Right, we actually target pufferfish all the time. It's actually a big deal like this niche little ne thing.


But of course our puffers, which are northern puffers, they don't contain the toxin. They don't have the poison. Yeah. And dude, they are delicious. And when you clean them you leave the tail on and the finished product looks like a like a chicken drumstick. I'm saying because they're small. Yeah. And the meat just runs along the back. So the way when you clean them it just looks like a chicken drumstick and you target them with super tiny hooks and little pieces of shrimp and they tend to come in in the summer.


And it's a big deal like you'll see reports like bases loaded with puffers, you know, and so they are so good, I highly recommend them.


So eating northern pufferfish. Great idea. Eating fugu kind of bad idea. Yeah.


Pissing off pissing off your fishing guide or charter captain.


Also a bad idea, which leads up to this week's smooth moves. Nice Segway. Joe, Joe, Joe.


Why did you turn around and say, oh, my God, this is the part of the show where we call up one of our guide or charter kapner outfitter buddies and and have them tell us a story about one of the most ridiculous things they've had clients do on the boat. Every good or outfitter has amazing stories about clients doing stupid things on the water, and we love to bring those to you. This is smooth moves. And today we're talking with our good friend, Alvin Dedeaux.


Alvin, how's it going, man? Man, it is just going great today.


I don't think I've ever heard you say anything else. And all the times we've hung out, it's.


You don't have bad days, do you? If I'm alive, it's a great day. Love it. Except for maybe the occasional hangover day.


Yeah. You know, you get out there, you get on the water usually usually clears you up pretty good.




I could be having a bad day and hear Alvin say I'm having a great day and I'm like, now, you know, I am now too. Just the way I said that.


Just positive vibes, man. That's right, man. You put it out there, you make it happen as a as a long time guide. I know sometimes you have clients that do their best to make your great day. Not so great. And we brought you here to tell us one of those stories all man. What do you got? What's your smooth move? All right.


So this this was a pretty awesome, smooth move. It was in the boat adjacent to my boat, one of my guys buddies. So I got to witness this. This was this was so smooth. I couldn't believe it. I wish I had it on film. So my buddy's got his client in the back of the boat throwing a spinning rod. We're fishing for bass. He's using a a fluke plastic artificial and it's super Wheelus. But in order to hook the fish, you have to really set the hook, you know, so that that hook pokes through the plastic and actually hooks the fish up in the sky in the back of the boat.


He would see the the bait disappear. Bright pink bait. So, you know, the guy, it's like, all right, dude, when you see that bait disappear, set the hook bait would disappear and he just start reeling with the rod just pointed right at the fish. You know, fish never got hooked, spits it out over and over again. So finally I see my buddies getting a little frustrated with the guy. So he goes, hey, dude, look, here's the deal.


When you see that pink thing disappear, you got the rare back. Set the hook and get that fish. Hooked and get him in the boat, you know, so do Zakharia. I think I got it. I think I got it. So about five minutes later, massive bass smashes his bait. He rares back, sets the hook so hard that he falls over out of the boat.


I look over, I hear a splash, and the dude's feet are sticking straight up in the air.


Yeah, luckily. Luckily, it was in fairly shallow water. So he stands up. And of course, he hooked the fish that time. Yeah, real fish in gets back in the boat, sits down. My buddy turns around, looks at him and goes, All right, dude, next time I want you to set the hook almost that hard.


But he landed the fish.


Yeah, he made in the fish, man. He said he finally set the hook, you know, now what? You get that hook said.


I mean, you know, it's all over that that is that is a true smooth move. Yes, sir. I am impressed. They're like falling out of the boat. Managed to get the fishing. That's that's quality.


Yeah. You stood up soaking wet pieces of weeds and stuff dripping off his face and everything, but he learned the fish.


Is he a good sport about it or was he embarrassed and it wrecked his day on it? He was he was a good sport. He's like, all right. I think I think I think I get what you're telling me.


Take it off of 11:00. Dial it back to eight ish.


Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah, he had a great rest of the day. Well, you know, we're in Texas. It was it was warm. It was nice. A little dunk.


Just set him straight of you have your falling out of the Bojo. You know, it's strange man.


You'd think there'd be a rite of passage for hardcore anglers, but I never have I done. I've gotten stuck with a lot of hooks.


That's also a rite of passage, obviously.


And I've come close to to fallen out of the boat many times, though it's never actually happened. But I have been knocked off a few jetties during my younger, stupider surf casting days.


Man, are you ever going fall man overboard?


I, I was thinking about that while he was telling that story and I can't remember I can't personally remember ever falling out of the boat.


But yeah, I remember I my buddy will never let me live this down because when I was first learning to road drift boat, I did smash a rock so hard that I launched this friend of mine completely clear over the gunnel and right into the Madison. And it was so his wife was hooked into the biggest brownshirt of her life at the time. And I was so focused on trying to get that fish landed that I just completely missed this boulder. And I teed that thing like full on t boned it on the chin.


And he was already leaning over with the net and just ejected. And, you know, I kind of saved it because I was like, well, now you're out of the boat, you got the net, you might as well get the fish. And and it all worked out. But no, he hasn't let me he hasn't let me forget about it.


Well, first of all, remind me never to let you throw my boat quick up better. I know. I know you have. But what safety lesson. They're all the same because I've run into similar issues, like no matter where you are, when you hook a fish, just just put the damn anchor down there because I've done the same thing.


You're so wrapped up in the fight that it's it's like all that matters. And, yeah, I've I've rammed some stuff in all of my boats.


All right. Enough about falling out of boats.


Let's stay in this metaphorical craft that we're calling the podcast because it's time for Fish News, Bishnu.


That escalated quickly. All right, for this segment, Joe and I have compiled what we think are the most interesting fish related news stories that we could find this week.


The catch is that neither of us know what the others are about to say. So this is really just a little a little friendly competition between the two of us to see who can who can bring the most interesting and and entertaining topics. And we're just hoping that we don't steal each other's thunder, really. But how are you feeling this week, Joe? You think you think you got the goods?


I, I think I do. I also add that on a weekly basis, it's not always easy to find, like, super awesome fishing news. There's a lot of. So some of these it's fun because it's like how can I stretch this to be entertaining? Because there are there are a lot of slow news weeks in fishing as we're learning. But I'm feeling confident I led this off last time.


I'm going you're going to you're going to kick ass. I am. I am.


And to be clear, it's fish news, not fishing news, because I think, you know, some of mine might be a stretch to call them fishing news.


I'll just be honest about that right now. And most of us are interested in fish. All right. So, Joe, I'm going to start this with a little a little word association game. All right? OK. All right. What comes to your mind when I say carp?


Trash. Not that I think they are, but it's just that's just simple, just just trash. Yeah, I think that's fair. But I got I noticed that there are three things you didn't say. You didn't say nanotechnology, mechanical engineering or futuristic super armor.


The last one. The last one would have been the next thing I said when I went truly with the first thing that popped into my head.


So that's that's probably because you didn't find the study that I did out of the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory. That explains how this group of researchers used advanced X-ray imaging techniques. This is like super science fiction stuff to they use advanced imaging techniques to figure out the secrets of Karpe scales.


It turns out the karpe scales and and a lot of other fish scales are incredibly tough and yet very flexible. Much like me, they're puncture resistance to pliability ratio is better than any armor the humans have been able to invent so far. Right. So this is this is all in the realm of biomimicry or I.


I got to say that's wrong, man, because I've seen arrows bounce off a lot of shit, but they go right the heart. Dude, hold on. Just let me get there. Right. All right, all right. All right, all right.


This is all coming out of out of the area of study called biomimicry, which is the emulation of model systems and elements found in nature to solve complex human problems. Right. The thinking here being that the process of evolution has had a pretty long period of trial and error to figure out what works and what doesn't as far as life on our planet is concerned. So, you know, maybe we should look to natural systems for design principles. In this particular case, these researchers are looking at how common carp skills can help us design better armor.


Right. And the idea of using fish scales as a blueprint for armor is actually really old scale armor was popular with the ancient Romans, Persians and Byzantines, and it's been around for more than 3000 years. But this new research is like it's taking it to the next level.


And yeah, some other people like Joe out there are probably going to be the good thing to deal with bows and arrows all the time.


And yeah, yes, yes, you're right. Common carp skills can't, like, force a compound bow arrow to bounce off as they occur in nature. But we're we're not talking about covering your body in carp skills and sending you on to field fire.


That's not what is it?


I guess the idea is to borrow design of KAB scales to make armor from different materials that could withstand the force of an arrow shot from a compound bow or maybe even like, you know, around from a high powered rifle without the weight and rigidity of current armor.


Well, go ahead.


I was exactly as of right now that super the super duper kirp armor doesn't exist. Don't go out looking for it. You can't buycott the super armor yet. But the researchers have finished mapping the fiber structure of the scales and they're now working on how to reproduce them with tougher, tougher materials. So we might actually have like Karpe armor in our future fighting forces. Well, OK.


And that's cool. I think that's neat. But what it's got me thinking about is if you're going to do a study like that, wouldn't you agree, like several other fish come to mind right away.


And if I was going to study their scale structure and how it relates to making armor, it wouldn't have been Karpe like, dude, alligator gar.


Yeah, black drum you could play. I mean, like I did. I've cleaned big black drum in South Jersey.


They're tough, man. This this study actually did say, like, I didn't have time to get into all the details. They started with er Optimus OK, as those things are like crazy armored, but I guess they were just too complicated, like they couldn't figure it out so they had to step it down to something a little simpler that they didn't have the budget to go where Arab hymel live and do this study.


They're like you guys got thirty bucks to figure it out. There's a ditch out back there.


We'll study them instead. Now, it's fascinating. I just it just strikes me as odd that Karpe of all things. Yeah. I mean, I think like I said, I think that that is striking the balance. From what I could understand from what I read, it's striking the balance of not so complicated that they can't study it, but also has a lot of the the the characteristics that they wanted. Right. They went into all kinds of crazy detail that I didn't bother.


But it's it's really interesting how the different layers of the scales fused together, going from, like, really rigid to really pliable. And that allows those fish to be able to move. But still, you know, like have predators teeth bounce off of them against those predators. Right. Right.


Well, OK. So with that said, I know somebody who probably wishes they had some carp scales wrapped around their leg not too long. Go and this story has been all over, but we can't I can't not bring it back up again, you got to break it up. It has to because it's just so unique and I've got so much to say.


That was a really good Segway, by the way. I'd like nicely done to you like that. And yeah, that was well done. I was straight off the cuff, dude. Man nailed it. Thank you.


This is coming from The New York Post. Not even the lakes are safe this summer. Now, there's been some shark attacks, right? Pretty bad one up in Maine. But Kim Driver was standing chest deep on the beach at North Star Village along the Winnipeg River near Moonachie, Ontario, when she was attacked by a Moscow lung fish commonly known as a musky, which must have had musk along tak by musk lung, which had heads resembling alligators and can grow up to six feet long and weigh more than fifty pounds.


Now the quote here, all of a sudden she just said someone, not something. Someone's got my leg and I don't know why, but that just brings to my mind, like the the dingo took the baby, someone's got my leg, dingo took the baby and then she started screaming and her arms went up and she went underwater. And we all kind of stood there in complete disbelief and didn't know what was going on, Kim's husband, Terry, told Vyse.


Now, you've probably seen the pictures. A lot of us. I mean, the damage is no joke, right? Yeah. Says Kim suffered extensive damage to her right leg and was taken to the hospital. And then Terry Tair, as I like to call him, goes on to say, A completely engulfed her calf from pretty much Neeta ankle. And nobody's ever seen a musky T bone, someone's calf. Now, the way I'm reading and interpreting this is that this Muskie actually pulled Kim under Allah, the little Kintner boy in Jaws, which I find a little hard to believe.


I don't. Yeah, maybe. Right. Like, she she she was not like a super petite lady. And I could understand if this was a little kid. Anyway, my favorite part of the story is this. Meanwhile, Terry is out for revenge. The couple plan on visiting the lake this weekend. And while Kim said she will stay out of the water, Terry said, I might throw a couple of musky lures in that particular area and see if I can get a little bit of payback.


You won't, Terry. That's my prediction, because muskies just suck and I'm convinced they'll be quicker to eat the curly tail grub you throw in for croppies on six points or your wife's leg faster than a proper muscular fly.


I mean, you know, if he was going to be really serious about this, he might have to say, like, hey, honey, I'm sorry, but I'm going to need to check your leg. Do we need to bait? We know what it's after. Blood's in the water. He's already had a taste of you. He'll come back for more.


This is totally some shit that would happen to me and it would happen on day five of another musky, less musky fly fishing bender like zero action. But my, my my foot would get severed or like I'd toss the shiatsu in for a cool dip and down would go scribbles. No, shaken. No.


I like the irony of the whole thing, you know what I mean. And oh yeah, I'm sorry dude. Like I've said this before so I don't mind saying it again. I think muskies are overrated and I'll put that on record. Like I personally would much rather spend serious coin to fly up to Saskatchewan, you know, and spend three or four days reefing on forty plus Inch Pike, then spend three or four days trying to get one musky to chew.


But that's just me. But that's what they do. They bite your leg, they kill the dog. I remember that story. That was a good story. You could throw them ducktails all day long and they don't give a shit. Yeah they don't know. Well they've seen a zillion bottles.


They haven't had very many dog snacks, like I can understand them wanting diversity and variety, like screw those things. I've eaten those before and nothing good happens out of that. I cannot agree with you though because but it's partially because of my history. Like I got bit by the musky bug when I was probably seven years old. Yeah. I have not been able to shake it and I just got done filming the episode that you all of you out there will get to see.


And I know what a pain in the ass they are.


And that's still I can't quit them. Yeah, I just. I can't quit you.


No, no, no. And I get it right. I like to joke around and mouth off about my my disdain for muskies. But again, that's also just geographical. Like if I grew up in the Midwest, in Minnesota, Wisconsin, I would be that guy. And we have plenty of them here on the East Coast. But there's just so many other things, like people always used to even go Maskew on the fly, have you? And I'm like, no, I haven't.


But I could have if every time I had free time to go fish, I was like, I'm doing nothing but that till it gets done. But see, I can't bring myself to do that. But now, like, a little musky here, a little musky there. But I also recognize that's not the way but the way to get things done. If you really have a musky goal.


I mean, I don't I don't know if I agree with that. I'd say that that a healthy balance is good in anyone's life, no matter what you're doing. And that includes fishing. And you should fish for most you when it's fun and then when you get annoyed. Go grab some worms and fill a cooler with pan fish and giggle like a four year old kid, that's what I think you should do. You got to get that balance in there.


That's just my opinion. I hope we will continue to cover Muskie and Pike attack stories because they are endlessly interesting to me. And this one's different than anyone I've ever seen, like you hear a lot about. Oh, it was attacking the someone who was, you know, had their fingers in the water and sold some jewelry that bit the finger and cut the finger. This is a different level of musky aggression.


You think about it, even if the report is three quarters true, that had to be one big ass mosque that wasn't the 30 to insure.


That will be my first fly Muskie after all that time and. No, no, no, definitely not.


That was a real small one. One thing I will say is that that now is the time to go. Muskie fishing Muskie populations in North America are in better shape than they've been in generations.


They're doing really well. We are living in the golden age of Muskie fishing, but we're we're not living in the golden age of of reefs. Reefs are not doing that great right now. And I'm going to throw another question out as I get into this story for you personally. Do it. Are you would you can strike because maybe maybe you're kind of a probiotics guy. Spent a lot of time thinking about your gut biome. Oh, I spent a lot of time thinking about my gut, but just more so how awful it is.


My gut biome lives on cheese curds and lining Google's. I wish it wants cheese curds. I don't have those here. I just feel free to Fritos. Nacho cheese dip.


Those are delicious. All right. I'm not I'm not really into probiotics either, but this story has got me thinking about probiotics and maybe being more of a fan of them in general, because, you know, I like, you know, 90 percent of the planet's coral reefs are dying as we speak. Yeah. And you know how like coral reefs are home to twenty five percent of all the marine life on the planet, including some bad ass fish that we both like to catch.


Indeed. Well, so this research team that includes members from Brazil, the US, the UK and Australia recently found that feeding corals probiotics improves their health and helps them survive stresses, including heat stress, which is one of the main things killing off all the reefs. So far, no kidding. All right, yes, yes, so far this is only worked in a lab setting, but the researchers are hoping they can find a way to scale this up and use it to help combat the massive reef die offs that are happening everywhere.


So I read a couple articles on this, and I'm going to admit something I didn't actually dig up like the peer reviewed journal study.


I just I just read the articles about it. But there's a lot of that going around now, you know what I mean? Just in general, only the peer reviewed stuff, just whatever's on Facebook, that's really hard.


It has a lot of big words in it.


And I don't I'm I'm scared of them, but I'm I'm pretty sure that they're not actually going out, like spreading yogurt on the reefs. That's just an analogy. So that stupid nonscientists like me can better understand what they're doing. Like no one's going out in the Great Barrier Reef with ocean tankers full of that that that Orsi yogurt, you know, the one with the kangaroo on the label and just now using the reef down with the eye covering it.


But that that is the image that I cannot get out of my head. And I wish that's actually what it was.


So that's my question. Do they talk about how they would on a grander scale administer something like that?


The at this point, what I understand is that they're bacteria, right? There are these these beneficial bacteria that when they add them into these closed systems, like the tanks that they're growing, this reefs in that the coral that had these these beneficial bacteria added into those tanks were better able to survive stress. So there was no talk about the actual mechanism for deploying this. At this point, I think they're still trying to figure out the details that I think all they've got so far is like, hey, man, we got this bacteria that makes the coral stronger.


What are we going to do about it? Because this might help. And I hope they figure it out. And again, I'm sure it's not like a yogurt blaster, but I kind of wish it was.


Yeah, like that's what I buy for myself as those squeeze yogurts.


Yeah. Danning there's no probiotics in that, but it's just like one like squeeze and your grief.


Gielgud talking about. Yeah. Goggled. Yeah. Yoghourt. I forgot about Ghoga. They tried to make it interesting for the kids by putting somebody with a skateboard helmet on it.


You don't need those Fritos. Here's some goggles. It's cool to go.


Yeah. Oh man. Well I mean they that that's good news. Good news. And we certainly need that. I just hope that someday I actually end up in one of the places like I've never fished the Great Barrier or any. So I hope they figure it out and I get there. But that costs a lot of money.


Yeah, that's what I like to go back to your other story. That's why I carp fish and do Arab hikma, you know what I mean. Same here. But I like knowing that they're there. It makes me feel good. Well OK, if that makes you feel good. So not only are we going to save the reefs with Gogobot, OK, we're also going to lessen the strain on the fish on those reefs because in in what could be the most revolutionary thing to ever happen to fishing.


Mm hmm. Mm. Kevin Kevin Harrington, a former shark tank shark and the man behind the as seen on TV brand, has just put his super angler trusted stamp of approval on the bait to Nater hook the bait Nader is that just makes me think of Baconator like Wendy's has got to be common for this guy.


It's a possibility.


He's he's got more money than Davy Crockett, but he'll take Dave Thomas down like ain't nothing.


And this comes from the news center at PR Web. And quote Harington, Unfortunately, ordinary Jayhawks result in gut cooking fish, which critically injures them and oftentimes leads to their deaths. He explains. That's why I'm excited to tell you about bait. Nader fish hooks, perfect for catch and release fishing bait. Nader is the only J hook on the market that greatly reduces got hooking fish now.


So we're clear it's still a fully barbed big ass J hook. But here's the magic. All right. So follow with me. Picture this in your head. Picture a small plastic bell, OK? And your line is attached to the top to the narrow end of the bell.


There's an islet up there. And inside the bell is a metal rod that goes down the center. It's got a spring around it and the J hook connects to the bottom of the metal rod at the wide end of the bell.


So what you do is you keep threading corn kernels on the hook and up the rod, thereby compressing the spring within the bell. So each time a wily bullhead rips the kernel off the tip of the hook, another kernel just slides right into place, just slides right down the wrong place.


So the reason, at least I'd say the Baconator greatly reduces gut hooking is because between the spring mechanism, constantly feeding corn down the hook and covering the tip, plus the fact that only the very tip of the hook protrudes past the bottom lip of the bell. Side effects may include the Baconator never actually. Having the ability to get in a fish is never hooking a fish, if you all you'll do is feed bait to fish, so.


Exactly. So that's that's why it's genius. If you just if you literally just want to feed them and the quote says, spend less time baiting and more time fishing, Harington summarizes. But most importantly, help save and protect our fish for future anglers.


But per the pressure, the video, it only seems to work with corn and focuses on catfish being caught at what Tamai is a pay lake where nobody ever went ever to catch and release anything ever.


So according according to the story, the full Baconator infomercial will air very soon across cable networks and social media platforms, which we know means just one thing. OK, two to three weeks from right now, one of our headlines is destined to read Man Combine's Power of Tack to bite fish called Rattle Cincher Mighty by one shot bait bullets and the bait natur hook to catch every fish in Lake Winnipesaukee twice.


Oh my gosh. So I bullhead catfish.


I can see it may be working, but can you imagine trying to sell that to one of the finest fishing guys. Look like a highly pressured Bass Lake or a walleye lake or a permit. Fishery like those fish are not going to eat a bell shaped plastic cone.


Yeah, that's bass you're talking about like a mini parking cone with like a couple kernels of corn sticking out of the bottom and they got to come eat. They have to not be wigged out or scared of the whole mechanism.


Yeah, I'm I'm calling B.S. on this whole thing. I don't buy it at all. I mean, prove me wrong. Here's what I'll say. Prove us wrong. Send us what we're missing is clearly either we're missing something or this is like the worst fishing lure idea since the Benjamina. Prove us wrong.


See see, we're going to get off here. But that actually was a loan.


I know, because that was a precursor to some serious swim ideology. We've talked about this before. The other things I've talked for years about buying all this crap and doing videos. And then I realized four billion people have already done that. I'm just going to be a follower taking them down the bait. Nader doesn't actually interest me as much as the tactic. Bait fish call. Have you seen that? Which is a speaker that you throw out? Yes.


Midsouth, yeah. You know, I mean, just real fishermen don't don't buy this stuff, but I don't know, man, like, I don't know, spend less time baiting and more time fishing. It's got a nice ring to it depends on the baiting.


It's a great tagline. I'll give you that. It's a great tagline. I fully endorse their tagline. Well, these were good.


We didn't overlap. And this was yeah. This is another successful great segue ways, which is killing the Segway, just killing it.


But anyway, now I got to bring the temperature of the room down because from breaking the Internet with fishing gimmickry to breaking the Internet with skills for days, I'm unfortunately the one that has to tap our new segment, Trolling with Lance. Don't you laugh. Don't laugh.


And I'm sure all of you are already familiar with Internet fishing phenomenon Lance V. And if I'm being honest, this is why I'm pissed. I was totally against this segment. I, I really wanted absolutely nothing to do with this because our budget here at Ben is kind of dog shit. And the only way to get a celebrity, quote, celebrity to lose celebrity bullshit like Lance is to just fully pay up. Right. And this is like we pissed away months of negotiations with the deal with his lawyer, who is subsequently his mom.


But Myles thought it was worth it because in the modern age, being a successful Internet fisherman is probably more important than most of you than being real fisherman. And yeah, and Lance is obviously the Tony Robbins of Internet fishing wisdom. The land to the boats, to the lake, to the sea, filling up the Internet with your Borlase. Sup wannabe's. Welcome back to Trolling with Lance, I'm glad to be better known as Extreme Hog Robers. Sixty nine, because when I'm not winning an Internet fashion, I mean the Ropen, Hogg's or Sixty-nine in probably with your mom hashtag MILF squad today, I'm going to teach you how to comment on YouTube videos.


Most of you put no thought or effort into this valuable and important craft. You just vomit whatever bullshit comes the top of your head through your little keyboards. Harmless, right? Wrong. You're ruining the Internet and wasting my time making me scroll through your useless words.


Typing Nice fish, bro, or great video shows everyone who knows anything about Internet fishing that your opposer YouTube comments were invented for one reason and one reason only to prove you're better than other anglers by pointing out everything they do wrong and insulting that little bitch egos. Your job is to tear down all who threaten you, which should be everybody with a YouTube fishing channel. If you're a genius like me and the goon squad hashtag Google for life, you'll find endless ways to attack and harass other people's vids.


But here are my top five starting points. For those of you who don't have a natural gift of shitting on other people that I do numero one fish size, duh.


This is obvious. Everyone else's fish are small no matter what. Even if they look big. You claim wide angle lenses, fully extended arms or my favorite small hands I always have. Hold it closer to the camera in a word document ready to cut and paste into the comment section of any given video hash tag tiny hands nimura devs technique.


In any fishing video you can find something that could have been done better casting, fish, fighting, liping, flipping or netting. It doesn't really matter. Think of this like a treasure hunt. Somewhere in that half hour video is a mistake and might be in the corner of the frame for half a second. But I promise it's there. You just have to find it. When you do, you can prove to all of YouTube that everything that person does or says is bullshit because seriously, who needs to look down to find their trolling motor pedal?


Only a loser who doesn't know anything about phishing hashtags under your foot numero trece gear.


If everything but the Rodden real isn't a Google Squad product, it's useless, period. Tell everyone numero four hot spotting.


Look really hard at the background of every vid.


If you find any landmark, a rock formation, a building, a dam, a sewage treatment plant, a tree, really anything at all. It can be identified by the human. I call it a spot burned for giving away intel and a super secret spot.


If you legit know the spot, totally name it in the comments and ad that you've been fishing there for years. If you have no idea, put them on notice by just commenting. I know where you're at when they follow your comment looking for verification. Do not respond. They'll lose sleep over that shit.


Hashtag burned hashtag. Keep them guessing. Numero five Adreno. Hashtag it.


If you can't find anything at all to talk shit about a video which is super rare, I pulled from a stack of hashtag Bern's whether they fit the vid or not. Examples include hashtag bed sagen, hashtag private Parn, hashtag, stockier hashtag. Anyone can hire a guide, hashtag, live hashtag, Pep's hashtag skinny sprinkle them.


She is a real man like Benjamins in a trap video. Remember, no one reads YouTube comments or any Internet comments to feel better about themselves or humanity. The whole purpose is to remind us why we all hate each other. Comments offer a safe space where we can attack other people without having to back any of it up with facts. Please use the comments section as God intended. Hashtag Jesus, take the wheel. That's it for this week's edition of Trolling with Lance.


As always, Joe and Miles. You're welcome. I'm the only thing given this lame ass podcast, any Internet cred. I keep doing this and sell a part of the goon squad, which is totally happenin. I manage a flair to Wendy's. About a year ago, he was totally into my shit.


So hashtag Google take over.


Well, I mean, let's definitely said some words, and I mean, I guess I think I think most of those were were words.


What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard.


At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought.


Joe, I know you've you've posted a few fishing videos to YouTube, a couple in your past. Did Lance ever thrown a shade your way?


You know, I'd have to go back and look through the comments, but I mean, the dude. So all over the place, he's so ubiquitous.


He probably did, though, omnipresent.


I don't know if it's if his lance, but I may or may not have been the victim of a few hashtag pet bass and hashtag pet trout in my day, you know, and now that I understand that that's a strategy of Internet fishing pros, I feel less hurt by them.


I'm like, oh, that guy wasn't really he was just doing his thing, you know, he was actually smart strategy.


It's a strategy.


It really is. So every tackle, shop and fly shop you've ever been to has a sale been right? Well, yeah, all the good ones. I like to go to.


Yeah, except most most of the time they're just filled with junk that nobody else wants or needs. So welcome to our version of that, the digital Selborne, if you will.


Why don't you put the head of hair? You know what I'm getting that you didn't have to be so hurtful with me, so angry.


Miles and I are both devout garage sale shoppers. We love a good flea market. My my vintage tackle collection is vast, but covid sadly has largely robbed us of the pleasure of digging through someone else's trash barehanded, looking for that special something, which means I've spent a ton of time on Facebook Marketplace Let Go and Craigslist during this pandemic just to try and get some kind of fix. But it's just not the same man, you know what I mean?


No, I mean, I used to buy the vast majority of my flighting materials at garage sales because it's so cheap and those materials are so expensive if you buy them from a store. And not to mention like every once in a while, in doing that digging, I'd come across stashes of federally banned stuff like polar bear fur that you can't get.


But so far, anyway, I have not been able to get into the online shopping thing. It's not the same. It doesn't bring the same satisfaction. I spend enough time staring at screens all week and I just I don't want to do that on my days off. It's it's not fun for me. No, I get it.


And what I do is I find things that I get excited about and I'm like, oh man, that's a thing I hope to find in person someday, not in this like man, I would love to find that at the flea market, but most of the time I don't buy anything. But as I've been digging through these online selling platforms, you know, while you do find a gem on occasion, right. Most of what you find is total trash, just the most ridiculous fishing related shit out there.


And some of it is so bad that I can't help but make fun of it.


And that's essentially what we're doing here. And this is great, because whenever we think of it, whenever we think it'll add to the comedic value, Miles and I will reach out posing as interested buyers to engage the seller and coax out more information. It's basically giving us license to Jack with people. And we started doing that with a lady in Gainesville, Florida, who threw up a post on Facebook marketplace. And the title reads Antique pre nineteen twenty eight, Shanelle Leonard Rhod Company Fishing Vest, excellent condition and saying, oh that sounds cool.


That's a cool vintage item to have super vintage pro. But I sent this post to Miles with no further explanation to see how long it took him to figure out why this is so ridiculous.


I should, I should give some context that the Joe, ever since he came up with this idea, has been sending me a number of these ridiculous posters to sell me on why this would be a great segment.


And most of them are completely obvious. Like I look at it, I go, oh, that's ridiculous. We can definitely make fun of that. But this one I really had to think about. So picture this. The main photo, the primary photo that was put up online to sell. This is just a close up of the tag, the tag that's sewn inside of the vest. And it says H.


L Leonard Rothko, Midland Park, New Jersey, size extra large. I didn't get it. I'm thinking I mean, we make fun of fishing vessels on the show. We do that with some consistency. And I was thinking Joe was trying to build off of that joke, but I didn't I didn't see how it was funny. And then I kept reading further down. And there's another little tag below the main tag and it says, Machine washable in mild soap at medium temperature.


Do not spin dry tumble dry at low setting garment may be pressed with a warm iron. And then I kept breathing down and reread the the title of the post, which again is antique pre 1919 20, at which point all the stars aligned.


And I realized how ridiculous this is because because there is no way in hell that a pre 1920 vest comes with machine washing instructions, nor tide pods in the longer description read antique high quality fishing vest made in the early nineteen hundreds parentheses no later than 1920 or so. Close parentheses. One hundred years old and it's an absolutely excellent condition. Yeah. You know why. Because obviously whoever bought it followed those instructions used.


They didn't machine wash because machine washing machines didn't exist. Exactly.


So that is why it's museum quality. But I was like oh man this is so perfect. Honey, you're victim. No one got to be. So I sent a little note and I said, hi, I collect vintage tackle and I'm just wondering how, you know, this is pre 1920. Can you verify that in any way?


And she fired right back and she says, I spent a lot of time trying to find that answer, but it's been a while and I can't remember at the moment.


Give me a few and let me get back to you with that. And I was like and in conversation, she's not getting back to me with that. She knows she's just been busted. And end of the line for me. And dude, wouldn't you know it? Six hours.


Later, it was like midnight here, my phone pings and it's her and I have to read her her follow up response in the inflection in which I feel like it would have been delivered and said, Sir, you already knew I was wrong about this, didn't you?


Didn't you?


And then she quickly tacked on a longer explanation to make herself not seem dumb, and it was like last time I misunderstood, I thought that because he he I guess meaning Leonard closed his business around that time, that no more products were made afterward in his brand, which to me is like saying every Ford must be pre 1947 because that's the year Henry Ford passed away.


Yeah. So his business, he just died. The business kept going.


It's just it's just a classic like Czinger Zhongshan zonked you.


I love a good Zhongkang and now I'm allowed to do it because I need to tell you people about my zonk. It won't just be for naught anyway. We need your help with the Selborne. OK, so if you find some bizarre, funny, downright idiotic or for that matter like super cool must see items for sale online locally. Please, please, please send the link to Bente at the meat or dotcom so we can not only highlight them here, but then also mess with people in your hometown via messenger.


But as usual, we're going to close out the episode with the end of the line.


It's not loud enough, but did you know that I was in a punk band in high school that covered the theme song to fishing with Orlando Wilson?


Now you do. But not only were many pits opened up at firehouses in Legion halls across New Jersey because of Orlando, old Orlando also taught me the power of the Zoome super fluke. Now there are many versions of this tapered, soft plastic darting, gliding baitfish imitator on the market today. And what's interesting is they're all lumped together as Fluke's, right? Much like any brand of cotton swab is called a Q tip, but only Zoome makes the original super fluke.


And while I've tried countless similar baits, the Oggi reigns supreme. For me, there's something about the density of the plastic that makes it sink quicker and wabble different than others. And I also swear it darts and cuts at sharper angles then similar quote Fluke's. Now Orlando Wilson was fishing them on a jig had for southern sea trout, which I adopted back in the day for week fish and stripers. I guess we're talking late nineties here, but since those early days I've come to believe in the versatility of the fluke rigged weightless on a wide gap hook.


It'll walk like a spook on the surface and get crushed as it flutters on the drop right pin through the nose on a small finesse hook. It'll twitch like Linda Blair with a splash of holy water man from snakeheads to stripers.


Smalley's typical. I can't think of many fish that I can't get to chew a fluke.


Honestly, I never really go anywhere without at least one bag of Fluke's in white. If you're salty bubblegum Mythili, that's a good color too. But you shouldn't go anywhere without a pack of white fluke's. And I know some of you are going to say, well, what about the best? And man, what about the live target ghost tale Mineau that cost eleven dollars per pack. Yeah, those are all good. I fish.


Those are good too. They're just not as good as the original Zoome super fluke.


Did you seriously do a punk cover of the theme song to Fishing with our Wilson? Oh, my God, that's amazing.


Damn right we did. And here's how it went down.


I remember very clearly we did this thing where every band member got to write down a song he wanted to cover and we threw them in a hat and that was mine and it picked eyes were rolled.


But fair is fair. And the band cited creative differences a few months later and split up.


No, no, no connection, I'm sure. Listen, I went to I don't know how many punk and hardcore shows I went to as a teenager in the 90s, usually a decommissioned naval peers for.


Oh, that's that's cool. Heavenly jazz, great acoustics, man.


But and I was head like my secret fishing addiction from my cool punk friends. So I think that's badass.


And I would have gone absolutely apeshit had one of those bands I would see and covered the fishing with Orlanda Wilson theme. So well done on your part.


I wish you'd grown up where I did.


And you were at those shows, like maybe you're voicing the awesomeness of that with a band together and one guy in the world like I would I wouldn't be here doing this shit right now.


I'd be the next Blink 182. Thanks. No thanks for nothing. I mean, I just want the money. I don't care about their music anyway.


Those were the days and I think about them often and I actually miss them dearly.


But life moves on and so does this podcast that wraps up another episode.


We hope you got something out of it, even if only a few minutes of fury screaming at no one about what we got wrong or anything along those lines.


And if that was you, if you were the one screaming into the void, tell us you don't have to be in void. Tell us personally. We will listen. Let us know what you liked, what you hated, what we messed up. And you know, generally how you're doing. Send us an email bent at the meat eater dotcom right on.


Also, give us some stars. Leave us a review. And best of all, if you like this show, tell two friends about it. Then they'll tell two friends and so on.


I really want to make a coronavirus joke here, but it's just not that it's not that funny anymore, so I'll let it lie.


Yeah. Thank you for listening.


And, you know, go fishing.