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I'm pretty sure that the lump sucker of we've all got one of those which gave you a 97 percent chance of just snagging one in the asshole region, those stock bodies moved like they've been pumped full of Botox for him on his ass, ruins his phone, the girlfriend puke.
Good morning to generate angler's and welcome back to Bent, the fishing podcast equivalent of Fear and loathing in Las Vegas, minus the drugs and hip, cool, interesting people as the main characters.
I'm Joe Smellie, Miles Nulty, and thankfully I've never found myself in the depths of Neith or binge. My my own depravity usually just involves torturing water creatures for my own amusement.
Anyway, we're going to do what we do best and send all kinds of oddities related to fishing whizzing past your ear holes.
It's your job to snatch a nugget of knowledge or fun fact or weirdness before it gets away and is thereby consumed by the smarter, more aggressive predator downstream.
That image, you know, got me thinking about aggressive predators and that kind of fits because today's regional fishery comes to us from Captain Zach Hammer Miller down in South Florida.
And if you're familiar with the segment, you should be excited for a Florida edition. That's all I'm going to say.
The Hammer is an old buddy of mine, dear friend. And yeah, basically, Zach just recaps what's going on in his real life.
Right. His reports are based around his recent experiences as they pertain to chartering part time, paying the bills by working in the residential irrigation industry and generally hating South Florida and all the people that live there that aren't him.
So as Zach likes to say, buckle up. What's up, everybody? It's your boy, Captain Jack the Hammer Miller from throw down fishing charters here in St. Lucie, Florida, coming at you with this week's South Florida fishing report. Oh, and yesterday we had a hootenanny of a trip with a young 18 year old couple that was down here staying on vacation at the Club Med for their honeymoon from Oklahoma. And he called me up and he's like, man, he's like, I want to catch a Goliath grouper on my mother.
We're going to catch as many as you're in the Midwest ask you to handle. So we go out there, I hook them up with the rope, the gloves and and 20 odd circle hook of my. Here you go, buddy. Have had he's like, what do you mean, where's the rod? I'm like, this is the rod. I'm like, this is it. Surprise. I'm like, get ready. He's like, man, I don't know if I could take you to my dude.
I'm like, you got to be about your shit. You got to be in it to win it, brother. So we drop down a fucking 15 company to this dude catches in as soon as that thing hits the bottom thump. And he's like, how do I know when it gets eight I call. Let me tell you something. That thing's going to give Dumptruck mother get ready. You better eat your Wheaties because it's coming here hard and fast.
Boom thump. He is getting yolked. Dude, I come in for reinforcements on the back side of that rope. It almost pulls us. You know how hard it is to get spooled on one hundred feet of rope. So this group or at once it's done thrashing around, throws him on his ass, ruins his phone, the girlfriend's puke, and he's like, God damn, he's a nobody in Oklahoma is going to believe me. And I'm like, yeah, you know, probably not.
Anyway, another bite that I heard was really good this week was the seal fish off shore and about one hundred twenty foot. Unfortunately, I was not able to attend that bite because I was busy in 120 degree heat index crawling on my stomach under a ladies trailer in a retirement home and six inches of water trying to find a main sprinkler break. But, you know, as I sat down there reflecting on hearing how people were putting nine seals to the boat in the morning, I was just sitting under her trailer praying that it collapsed on me so I wouldn't have to live out this hellish nightmare anymore and keep missing.
Right now for this week's South Florida freshwater fishing report brought to you by the wonderful people at the Okeechobee Water Management District. After we got twenty seven inches of biblical Moses esque rain, they were kind enough to dump all that lovely fresh water out into our salt water. Indian River here, making it an absolute toxic waste land. The water is so fresh right now. We were out at the front of the mouth of the inlet the other day, an outgoing tide.
And we were sight fish in long nose guard coming out and live with some tilapia rolling around. Absolutely. Electric freshwater fish in twenty miles from the nearest body of fresh water. But hey, we can nit pick on where we're getting our reports from here. Let's just be real people. Fresh water. That's it. That's the end of the story. Unless you want to say fish gar with me. And what's supposed to be salt water. That is your freshwater fishing report for this week.
All right, so truthfully, I don't I don't actually know, Zach. I've I've never I've never met the dude, but I know I know you do. And I know you fished with him a lot. And I just I have to ask, is he is he actually fun to hang out with or is he just kind of a dick all the time?
That's a fair question. But he's a blast. He's he really is. And he's one of those people. His grumpiness is endearing, you know what I mean? Like, the hammer wouldn't be the hammer if he wasn't bitching about something. So I love fishing with him. And true story.
We met years ago while shooting a land based shark fishing deal because he used to be heavily involved in that scene. And I owe my biggest fish ever to Zach.
Ten foot hammerhead we estimated in the 500 pound range off the beach, like I reel that some bitch in with my feet on the sand, you know, so he knows his shit and you can find him and throw down fishing dotcom, you'll catch fish, you'll leave feeling more patriotic and better equipped to insult people.
I am sold. I'm sold on all counts that seriously that that's that's worth the price of admission. I will I will holler the next time I feel like getting the hell out of town and being a tourist in someone else's part of the world.
And you know where I live up here in Montana, we we depend on the tourists. Right. Like we depend on all those people. Sure. Come to our state and spend their hard earned or I mean more likely easily inherited money on restaurants and hotels and fishing gear and ski passes and, you know, of course, fishing guides.
But that doesn't mean that we're like nice to them. It doesn't mean that when we see California plates in traffic, we don't cut them off and flip them, the bird like it.
And I realize that that's kind of a problem, like we should think a little bit bigger and recognize that we need them and maybe be nice to them, but we're not.
And it turns out that's not unique to specifically tourist destinations. As as Joe, as you will explain in this next installment of Weekly Word, Webster's Dictionary defines fish as.
This week's word is morphia, that's mepa r and I first heard this term while steelhead fishing on Elk Creek in northwest Pennsylvania about seven years ago, and I remember the water that fall was ridiculously low and it actually trapped all the steelhead that had already run up elk from Lake Erie into any pools that were like more than a foot deep.
So needless to say, it made the fishing really tough because there were so many fish jammed into each hole.
They were like black with steelhead that on any given drift there was, I don't know, maybe like a three percent chance that one would actually open its mouth and eat the fly, which gave you a ninety seven percent chance of just snagging one in the whole region.
But it was during our struggle we were fishing with local guide Chris Kazulin and he lamented that man, the Muppets are going to be snagging the shit out of him this weekend.
And my natural reaction to that was that was a Muppet man.
And Chris informed me that it was the local term for city folk from Pittsburgh that come up here to crash at their family cabins and trailers and fish for the weekend.
Now, according to the Urban Dictionary, which, by the way, I personally hold in higher regard than Merriam Webster's, it's also used by year-round residents of western Pennsylvania college towns to refer to out-of-state students to use it.
In a sense, I can't wait until the Muppets leave for spring break. Likewise, students from western P.A. that leave Pittsburgh and its suburbs to go to schools in more rural areas say things like a Muppet study in business.
So the term can also be used as a general contraction of I'm up here coming from Jersey. I was I was just like tickled by the term.
I thought it was just fantastic. And there's some version of Muppets almost everywhere you go, right.
As an example, a Muppet along the North Jersey coast is called a Beny, which is an acronym for anyone that shows up on the weekend from the cities of Bayonne, Elizabeth, Newark, or from the entire state of New York, which gives Benny the NY at the end there. Right. Inevitably, someone spray paints. Bye bye, Benny, on at least one Garden State Parkway overpass every Labor Day weekend.
And I still laugh every time I see it. Since we're on the topic of derogatory terms for outsiders, we'd love to have a few more for Future Weekly Word segment, so please email them to us at Bent at the meeting or dotcom, and I'll come up here and check them out.
Moving on to trivia, where we call up people we know and talk them into playing a stupid game where they can't actually win anything but stand a pretty good chance of losing their dignity.
Today, we're talking to fishing guide, movie star and terrible boat driver, my good friend Frank Smethurst.
You got to be highly skilled for these shows. You understand it? Yes, I do understand you. Well, first, there you. Very smart man. Yes, I am. All right.
Today's contestant is my very good friend, Frank Smethurst. Frank, how are you? I'm great. I'm just nervous. Are you excited to play the TrueView game? I am excited. I'm excited you. I have a mind like a steel trap for trivia. I won the trivia contest, the trivia open in Telluride one time.
Oh, not not to build yourself up too much. Well, we'll see now. I'm going to drop the ball. I shouldn't have said that. You know, I will say this.
I before we actually met Frank, I knew you as I think a lot of people in the fishing industry know you as a guy who went all over the world and got all kinds of exotic, cool species from Bahah to Kamchatka to Dubai. I mean, you've been all over the place and got all kinds of cool fish. But when we actually started hanging out and I got to know you on a personal level, I realized very quickly that your deep, deep, deep passion actually seems to be for native fish of your home state of Georgia, despite the fact that you've been all over the world, Native American fish, you know, not just Georgia.
Georgia is really interesting because it's got so many species of say it's three hundred and forty species. Well, hold on.
Before you go there, I'm going to stop you, Frank. Did I? Because you're putting your questions. Your first question, Frank, how many different species of freshwater fish are native to Georgia? Is it a six hundred and forty eight? B, one hundred and thirty three. C, two hundred and sixty five or D, seventy seven, just like the Satie's.
I'm going to have to go with C Alex. Oh, dig, dig, dig.
He nails it. And just so you know, that's debatable because there are so many really, really amazing socialises debatable on the upside, there's a lot of subspecies I can show you, stuff that isn't in the books. You know, you get down in the Blackwater swamps, there's some wonderful hybrid weirdo sunfish, and they're strands of bass down there that have yet to be discovered and named there. You heard it here first.
You're on a roll, buddy. You're on a roll. Question number two, which is kind of more tagging on to your love of strange fish from all over the world. Which of the following is not is not an actual fish. Is it a the long tooth snapping, it'll be the sarcastic fringe head, see the slippery dick or D the lump sucker, you won't hear those again? Oh you know, I think I'm getting a good idea about what to answer, but I definitely want to hear him again because they're so good.
So you got a the long tooth snapping. I'll be the sarcastic fringe head. See the slippery dick or d the lump sucker, which is not an actual fish.
What was what was B again the sarcastic sarcastic fringe had. That one, the others just seem like better fish names by a trifle, I don't know this for sure, except I know the slippery deck. We can eliminate that. I'm pretty sure that the lump sucker we've all got one of those a what was a again, the difference long the long tooth snapping eel.
Yeah. And I know it's either A or B or the right answer. That's what I that's. You got to pick one. Which is it. I'm getting close. There's a process in place and work here. I'm just going to say it's the ay ay ay that you are like a savant at this French.
Yes. The low to snapping does not exist, but the sarcastic French head is a real fish fry so far. I think you are the the grand champion of our trivia show. Thank you so much for playing. What did I win. Absolutely nothing.
Yeah. That's the better story if that's OK.
The funny thing about this is that I was recently in the process of putting together a hosted trip for sarcastic fringe heads and I can only get two people to sign on.
Yet last year, my hosted Slippery Dick trip sold out in two days at ten thousand dollars.
Oh, no, I'm sorry, Joe, but I'm not touching that slippered. You're not taking the bait on that. But I'm not touching the slippery dick. Let's chug along to Fish News first and foremost to educate you on recent fishy happenings, but also to see who's better at finding good fish news stories, me or Joe. That escalated quickly, so this is Fish News, and as a reminder, this is also the fish news competition official because Miles and I have no idea what news stories the other is bringing to the table since episode three, we haven't overlapped yet.
So good for us, right?
It's it's inevitable. At some point, one of us is going to be really pissed. It's it's going to happen.
And every time we talk before we do this, it's like this is going to be the week and you're going to have this one.
So we'll see. That's why it's always beneficial to be the lead off man, which is me this week. And I got to tell you how I missed this one.
I do not know, but it's probably because I don't spend nearly as much time looking through my general Facebook feed as most people. It's either that or most of my friends are legit anglers. So maybe we all missed this one. OK, but it's fantastic. All right. This article comes from USA Today and is titled Ready Fact Check. No, bluegills aren't as Dangerous as Puranas.
Nope, I did not catch this one though. We're good again. OK, so here's what happened. Right.
Apparently, apparently there has been a meme circulating on Facebook and it's a picture of a bluegill replica mount and on top it reads, Did you know? And below the photo it reads, The bluegill fish is one of the most dangerous fish in North America.
The bluegill is related to the deadly piranha, which is responsible for 20000 deaths per year.
When, yeah, when the bluegill are feeding in a school, they can completely dismantle a human body. In less than 15 minutes, bluegills are responsible for over 500 deaths in the United States every summer.
This is some real shit that was circulating on Facebook.
And the funny thing is when I believe it was really circulating, I don't believe this is real. But anyway, go ahead. I don't want to jump in. No, no, no. It was really circulating.
So when I clicked on the link to to actually look at the post and Facebook, sure enough, like there's the official false information sticker on it from Facebook, like the false information firewall that I had to click and say, like, do you still want to see this even though we've proven it's false information?
OK, and I swear, I've never seen this pop up. And if people are listening, you're like, yeah, does everybody see that? Like, apologies? But this one was news to me. All right. And according to the story, Facebook user Crystal Bast shared the image to a fishing group recently, and it was re shared over 9000 times. And, you know, here's the weird thing, though. USA Today says the meme has actually been around for two years and this woman just reposted it.
And they say a PolitiFact check article from last year pointed out that Ohio Fish News, where the information supposedly came from, isn't a real publication.
And Crystal Barsad herself said she shared it because she thought it would be a fun joke that would lead to funny comments. And some of those comments, because I looked include, wow, somebody has been breathing in too much car exhaust.
And my favorite one almost pulled my nipple off yesterday.
But here's here's where it really hits home for me, OK? Because the dispelling of this fake news was left to poor journalist Katie Landecker at USA Today. And I got the biggest kick out of the fact check sources, the bottom of the article, which include SeaWorld and Cornell University.
So like poor Katie Landshark had to actually dig into a bunch of legit sources, which is that the poor woman, which is the professional way to do things right.
I'm not making that up, but I sympathize because it harkens me back to early days at the magazines, like when you're like young and all you want to do is write about the cool shit that you're catching and bad ass fish and somebody like, yeah, I'm going to need you to call the guy that just called the world record short nose Pigface grunt and get the scoop on that.
Oh, that is like, you know, she's the low person on the totem pole there. She might be. They came across that came across someone's desk and said, yeah, we need to refute this.
And she looked like you got to be kidding.
Clearly, this is I came here to see how the world and make a difference with journalism, not journalism.
Oh, I will I will admit, though, like, I have been bitten by many of bluegill before, but it really just kind of tickles. Yeah.
You know, like it kind of feels good. You can dangle your feet off the dock and the little blue you'll come up and it is kind of fun.
Used to be able to do that in spades. Right. That was like a whole thing. Maybe years ago they had the foot treatment.
They would eat the skin off your nastiest, beat the spines.
I've been hurt worse by this. Fines in the teeth, I don't even know if are teeth, but no teeth. Yeah, again, apologies if that's the thing, like everybody is aware of this meme, but I certainly wasn't. I this is the first I've ever heard of it.
News to me in news to me, either I'm going to stick with our theme of of of of fish attacks, shall we say.
Good. All right.
I first came across this story through a particularly I think we just called it a sensationalist headline. That's from the Daily Mail.
OK, so here's here's the headline. That's like Weekly World News, isn't it? Exactly. Exactly.
Did this one YouTube conduct's gruesome experiment by pumping human blood and fish blood into the ocean to see which meal sharks prefer to feast on? All right, now, there's so much to talk about just in that headline right there, I mean, first of all, like a headline probably shouldn't go on for two lines, but I'm not going to get all journalist on this because The Daily Mail.
But, you know, I don't know about you, Joe, but YouTube isn't my go to source for valid science. No. And and I'm going to tell everybody out there that it really shouldn't be yours. Either it's like or Facebook, for that matter.
Well, it depends on the science. Like it is my go to for putting together IKEA furniture, you know what I mean?
But that's not really science. Not science. Not science directions. Sure. How to videos. Yes. Science.
No, don't don't confuse those people like YouTube are known for a lot of reasons. Right. But they're scientific. The rigor in scientific methodology just is not one of them.
Also, let's just keep going with this. Let's let's assume this headline has even a kernel of truth to it. Where did the human blood come from? Yes, I mean, fresh human blood is not something you can just go buy at the store unless you're Keith Richards. Like you don't get human blood. No one can go get that or Walter Baffsky.
So I dug into it a little. The YouTube video itself is titled Shark Attack Test Human Blood versus Fish Blood and Shocker. It was part of this year's Shark Week on Discovery Channel.
Yeah, that's right. Oi, oi. Hang on, hang on, hang on. It was a it was made by a guy named Mark Rober. He seems like he actually does understand science because he he used to be an engineer at NASA. And I'm going to say that qualifies him as far more of a scientist than I am or than you are, Joe. Like he's a NASA engineer who turned YouTube or I want to know some of the backstory on that, but I don't I don't have it anyway.
I watched the video, which was predictably YouTube cheesy, but interesting and well put together. And for the experiment itself, they put three surfboards out in shakey waters in the Bahamas. One had a jug of fish blood, one had a jug of, quote, human blood, and one had a jug of seawater as a control. Each had a little pump that squirted out, shot a liquid at regular intervals. They monitored the area with a drone and counted the sharks that came to each board.
And here's where it kind of fell apart for me. The human blood was actually Cowes blood, all right, because they couldn't get human blood. And yeah, I get Cowes blood. Yeah, cold blood and human blood are similar to a shark. Like I get all that. But don't call the video human blood versus shark blood. That's just misleading, right? Like, oh, that's terrible. I know.
I'm in all the titles, all the coverage like human blood. No, there's no human blood involved. No humans gave up any blood. It's just cows blood. But the take away, which I do think is valid, is that sharks are much more interested in fish blood than in mammal blood and humans are mammals. So I think there's some validity to the experiment. It's just the way it's covered that kind of pisses me off. And so, like, the full on the numbers are that eight sharks went after the cow blood and a hundred and thirty four went after the fish blood.
So that that does say a lot.
And all those people are out there like, I'm scared of sharks. I don't want to go swimming. I'm scared. Sure. There's so much science out there. The sharks just don't want to eat you. They might bite you by accident, but they don't want to eat you. So let's just stop with the everyone being afraid of sharks thing. And can we cancel Shark Week while we're at it, please?
Yeah, man, you're going to make me divulge stuff. You're going to make me go to a dark place here. But I can relate to this study too much because don't call it a study.
It's a YouTube show is not a study. There's no peer review here.
I can relate to the YouTube video on a personal level level because in my much younger will say, late teens, early twenty days, I may or may not have experimented with goat's blood in the shark fishing arena.
And that's from growing up watching Jaws and just assuming that if you put mammal blood out, it's like shark magnet, right?
Yeah, and I got this and I don't want to get off here, but like, I got this from a halal meat market and processor in Trenton, New Jersey.
And I called the guy and I was like, hey, you know, I'm I'm looking for a five gallon bucket of goat's blood. And he was like, unblurred, come in and blood. You bring your own bucket.
And I was like, all right. So I.
I roll into this place and it's like there's like legit goats and shit out back that they're slaughtering at this halal meat market. And the guy, he didn't even charge me.
He took my bucket and brought out five gallons of warm hair filled with fresh blood like the goat was screaming as he was filling my bucket.
And then I took it home and froze it and put an eye hook in it so I could tie it off. Yeah.
And we took it out on my buddy's boat and we were like, get ready, boys, because this is just going to be like it's like you don't even know what's going to happen. They're going to come and jump in. Here they come. You know what really loves Mamool? Blood, bluefish, not one shark in that slick. And I was like, that's just it must have been a south wind and upwelling and the temperatures wrong. So I went back like two weeks later and bought another bucket of goat's blood and still no.
So the long and short of that is I've spent a fair amount of time sharking and just the regular old bunker or mackerel chum that catches some sharks. Man, the goat's blood is just not worth the effort yet.
They don't want to eat mammals that only eat you. So you didn't have to watch them video. You could have just come to me and been like, does warm mammal blood catch more sharks?
I would have said, no, it just it just stinks up your 93 GMC, Jimmy, you should you should have read that headline to the Daily Mail. Just I know I should have. I should have. But yeah, it is true, though, you know, the movies and everything that made it so like, oh man, if you're out there swimming around and bleeding like it's a magnet, I don't I don't think so. And I think it's because obviously, like, like office sharks, they're used to what they know and they know fish blood.
So, I mean, how often are they smelling beef blood?
It's probably not as attractive as we'd all like it to be, but we'll move on from my ninety three GMC Jimmy to a much more expensive things here. And I'm going to tell you what, I'm hesitant to actually call this news persay, but this is the way I look at this game we play here. If the article in question legitimately pops up in a Google News search, not just a general search, then it qualifies as news. So. All right.
All right. I mean, that's what we're setting is our baseline. That's good to know. Yeah.
If it pops up in the search, then then then OK. And I did in fact, find this in a news search granted on page 87 of the search. But this comes from upscale living mag dotcom, which, as the name suggests, is for people that have more money than they know what to do with, just like us.
Right. So, yeah, you subscribe, don't you?
Of course I do. And the story is called Why You Should Invest on the Best Fishing High End Rods by author Denner Alli's, whose grammar and ability to write headlines isn't as upscale as it probably should be.
Anyway, the art for this story features an ugly stick. Rod, so just bear.
Yes, it does. Oh, it does. It's a tight shot, but that's irony. Joey knows an ugly stick.
OK, so just keep that in mind as we press on it. I'm not going to read this whole thing because it's long, but it's a great example of an article pretending to say a lot without really saying anything at all. If you actually know the subject matter.
And it just like talks in broad strokes about how quality rods are made of better components and are more sensitive than cheap rods. And like, that's not wrong. It's just it's saying it's so quickly that it's not really giving you anything.
But then you have lines like this. OK, so ask yourself a few questions. What types of laws do you want to use with the rod? How likely is it that you'll know if fish has struck with the technique you're using? If you are not sure what to look for and find yourself in the sea of information, click here for a useful guide. It's also worth mentioning that the probability is high that you just wouldn't be able to go this deep into specifics if you are using a cheaper rod.
Right. But then I click on the link and it goes to a story on us Angler titled Best Dropshot Rods for the Money Our Favorites reviewed.
It's real, just just drop. So it's like, I hope. I hope that's what you were looking for. You know, some poor rich dude bought 50 dropshots dicks to outfit his new contender because it is misleading information. But my favorite section, which is also the shortest in the entire piece, is titled or slugged, rather.
What else do you gain from buying a high end rod? And it reads, Great rods are going to allow you to get beyond the mechanics and into the fishing.
False, the totally wrong. Nothing, nothing true about that.
No, and they last a lifetime as every quality rod is trimmed out with the very best guides thread, high grade cork as well as and I don't know what these are, trouble free, real seats also false.
I break a high end Rodden every third time I go in the garage to throw something in.
The recycle can just break shit almost just as easy to cheat. In fact, sometimes they break easier than the cheap. One can't hardly break an ugly stick. Yeah, just some of the other ones that I won't mention.
You can take the lawnmower adds another Lumis shit, you know, and that closes that with also, while not the most essential thing in the world, they feel better in your hands and add a whole new sense of luxury when displayed or showcased. Now, wait a second, because sense of luxury is also a hyperlink that takes you to a story on Psychology Today called The Emotions of Luxury.
You went deep and you like all the way down the rabbit hole. I applaud your your journalistic diligence here.
You know who this is for, man? And I wish I wish I was one of these people. I think we all do.
It's like this week I just decided because I read something or bought a guy Harvey shirt or whatever it may be like I'm into fishing, so I'm going to dump ten grand on every single thing I could possibly need for this hobby.
And then next week I'll read something about mountain biking and then we'll dump ten grand on mountain biking things. That's who this is for.
Yeah. No, I mean I've guided this guy and I think a lot of people have the look, I'm going to get into the fishing this summer and walks into the shop, drops just thousands of dollars on the same day. He gets his first guided trip to learn how to do it.
And the shop owners love, of course, this particular person. This is guy. Yes. This is how they survive. So I'm not going to dog on on these people because they keep the industry going. But I mean, I think this is an opportunity for us to talk about how wrong and misleading this information is for people who can't afford to spend ten grand to go fishing and how this might be the kind of thing to keep people from getting into something because they think they got to spend a ton of money to do it.
And that's just not true.
You're exactly right. And, you know, it's like I can't imagine you won't agree.
It's like for me, you know, when you start out fishing junk and I still fish a lot of junk, but you can't go right into the thousand dollar rod because that's a treat for later if you can afford it. That you'll appreciate more later after you've put in your time with the junk.
Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, I don't think I ever. I don't think I ever fished a thousand dollar rod until I was working in the industry and someone handed me one like, hey, this is a thousand dollar run, like, oh, no, I'm going to break it.
But I, I one thing I have learned in getting the opportunity to fish lots of different gear and try out all the different levels of gear is that you don't come to actually need those those kind of fine-tuned elements until you're a pretty good angler, until you're a pretty high level angler. So the person who doesn't have background, doesn't have an experience, isn't going to appreciate what they get for that money.
Sure. And then on the flip side of that coin, right.
If you are really good at what you do and you do really value high end gear, you've also probably got to the guy who like would refuse to now use anything but that stuff.
And it's like, dude, if you can if you can, you know, use a Winston and send a line 70 feet if you know what you're doing. And like this lodge only has ugly stick fly rods for the tapin like, shut up. You should be able to do it with that too, you know what I mean.
And and dirty little secret. Sorry to the company in the gear. Companies expensive gear won't make you a better angler. Yeah. Straight up like it's not going to do it.
It's not going to make you cash better. It's not going to make you catch more fish. It might be a little more fun to fish with. You might enjoy it a little bit more, but it's not going to be the difference between whether you're good or you suck.
If you still suck, as the article says, it will not get you past the mechanics any faster. If you don't know any of the mechanics.
It does not. That does not. I'm going to I'm going to transition chairman to stick with the theme of junk. But but but but change it up and. I'm also going to stick with something that I as a seed I planted last week in fish news. All right. You remember last week I reported on scientists mapping carp scales to make super battle armor? Oh, yeah.
I've been making one of the Silence of the Lambs in the garage ever since. It's on the form out there.
Yeah. You keep the carp in a tub in your basement and making them hose themselves off to maybe. All right. I'm going to stop.
That's not the only way we're using fish scales to create a dystopian future. Have you ever heard of temporary, flexible electronic displays?
Is that just like the technical term for the button panel on the toaster oven? Your toaster oven has button panels. You know, you do subscribe to that magazine, don't you? I do. You are. I do.
I read the high end toaster oven article.
I just have a lever that I know that's that's that's not what they are.
But I hadn't heard of these either. But apparently we all will very, very soon. The idea is that sometime in the near future, we'll all be sticking clear plastic patches on ourselves. But instead of delivering a slow dose of sweet, sweet nicotine, those patches will be like little computer screens that you wear on your skin. So think of it like temporary tattoos. Meet apple watches.
All right. OK, all right.
So some way the screen doesn't there's no, like, microchip in the screen. It's just like whatever your device is will project on your skin. Like it'll get like you watch it on your arm.
Yeah. I don't I don't have an engineering degree, so I don't know, I don't know how it works. But from what I could tell from reading the article, yes. These are these are little screens that are disposable, they're temporary, that somehow communicate with your device and and project or receive information from your device that you can see on your skin. OK, that's my under my my very limited understanding of it. And and some smart researchers in China are thinking ahead to the environmental implications of this technology.
Right. So these are going to be single use items theoretically made of plastic that people wear and display stuff and then pull them off and throw them away so they'll they'll end up being like the disposable straws of the future. OK, I'm already feeling sorry for the turtles and I don't know where they're going to get stuck on them.
But according to a study published by the American Chemical Society, nanotechnology rats are working on ways to use actual fish scales to make these temporary electronic displays. They're deriving gelatin from the collagen and fish skills and molding it into a thin film that's flexible, transparent and biodegradable. And then they're using that film to build an alternating current electro luminescent device that continues the globe, even after being bent and relaxed over a thousand times. And so I will admit, even though I'm terrified at the prospect of everyone around me covering their bodies and screens, I mean, at least they'll just be destroying the fabric of society, not the not the planet itself.
Well, this is what pops into my head right away.
The people who make glowsticks for the rave scene must be scared shitless about this.
Yeah, I mean, they're they're done, dude. I mean, take the rave scene, do a whole new level, really. I mean, you can just like instead of needing those big screens up over it, people can be the screens like you can. Exactly. You can project whatever's going on inside out right under your chest.
And because no one's wearing any shirts and a rave from what I've seen and it's going to get ugly, every casino in Vegas has already preordered, but hopefully they're getting the fish skills ones and not the plastic ones.
And then the other thing that comes to mind is I would have to assume that that the tilapia processors in Gorton's fisherman of the world are going to benefit here because that's probably with a full scale supply, right?
That's right. That's right. Those skills are going to be put to good use. They're not just to be ground up in the meal anymore.
All right. That brings us to the end of Fish News. But before we move on, we have an update for you. That's a it's kind of a bummer.
Yeah, we're we're rolling into that's my bar here, which we know you guys love. You've been sending a lot of great feedback. And this little closing note on news sort of ties back to our very first installment of That's My Bar.
You might remember that I shouted out the sip and dip in Great Falls, which is one of my favorite bars of all time. And I mentioned Piano Pat, the woman who's been playing music there for half a century now. And listener Matt Bradley wrote to tell us recently, piano Pat had kind of a nasty fall, broke hip, got a little bit of a brain bleed, kind of a scary situation. Sounds like she's making a recovery and she's doing well.
But she could use a little help with her medical bills. So they set up a Go Fund Me account. And both Jill and I have. Contributed to that. Yes, I had to help because I've never actually been to this bar or met piano and that that can't be that way. Like I have to eventually get out there with you and listen to piano pat play. So speedy recovery.
Pat, when are you going to get back to doing what you love? And on that note, let's go drink somewhere else this week.
Best God damn bartender from Timbuctoo to Portland, Maine, to Portland, Oregon. And for that matter. I've only been to Key West once, and that was for my cousin's wedding. At first I was kind of pissed at him for getting hitched all the way down in Florida until I realized that the wedding was going down in May and lined up perfectly with the front end of tapin season. At that point, all was forgiven once we got through the nuptials, the reception and the after after party at a drag show on Duvall Street, the family all drifted back to their respective corners of the country.
I stuck around for a few days to fish, sleeping in a hotel room that cost more than a half days good wages and still smelled like Neptune's jockstrap. But I did catch a couple of tapin and landed my first permit, so it was definitely worth it. According to my good friend Todd Brown. However, I missed out on one of Key West's absolute best features. Tosches nomination for That's My Bar Goes Like This the green parrot in Key West, just as many bikers and trashy hoes as any other bar on Duvall, but it's not on Duvall, so there's a cool factor that applies.
Better yet, not many cruise ship passengers go there because it's a long, hot walk from the dock and that tends to melt gelatinous orbs wearing black socks and high Becka's tunics. Plus, they claim it's the oldest bar in the Keys.
So that's where something after hearing this glowing recommendation and doing a little research, I feel like I kind of blew it, not hitting this bar up.
The Green Bairds Modu is a sunny place for shady people, which I love. And it kind of seems like that could apply to all of GW. So maybe the bar is emblematic of that whole place. It's been around since 1850 when it was a little speakeasy in the backroom of a Cuban grocery. Since then, it's catered to sailors, hippies, commercial shrimpers, drug smugglers and now, of course, tourists. Thanks, Tasch, for contributing to what is sure to become one of the most valuable informational resources in the modern world.
And remember, we need your help to compile our list of the best fishing bars on the planet. Email us at Bent at the media or dot com and tell us why your favorite drinking establishment deserves honorable mention.
I love how you describe the hotel you stayed in and smelling like Neptune's jockstrap. You like that because I understand exactly what you mean. I've stayed in so many shitty motels.
It's unreal. But there are a few in the keys easily in my top five or so bad.
And the worst rate, the worst was so infested with biting insects that every night I would literally build a barricade of off insect repellent wipes around the mattress, which subsequently I believe was filled with straw.
But the barracuda fishing out back was real good.
So you go for the fishing in the drinking, you don't go for the competition.
So was the item that we're just about to cover and get to in this week's sale been hanging on on the wall of that place by chance?
No, but it could have been it would not have been out of place. It sounds like it, you know, hey, folks, call your bank hot item on the auction block today. You're not going to want to miss this one. Price recently reduced. This is the sale.
Ben, why did you put the head to pay? You don't know what I'm getting at. What? You you didn't have to be so hurtful with me. So angry.
So this comes from a seller in Pasadena, Maryland. And it's possible, based on the item that he actually might have thought he lived in Pasadena, California, where such an item might have been more appropriate. I don't know. But we have for the low price of four hundred and ninety five dollars a white marlin fish mount.
But wait, because there's so much goddamn more a white marlin fishmeal done in sunset colors.
I don't know if I'd call that sunset. I mean, but it is certainly not natural color, I can tell you that.
Yeah, I looked at it and I was like sunset colors otherwise otherwise known as wrong, just completely inaccurate.
So the fins and the stripes, like the accent, blues and ackwards are accurate.
But if you can picture this, anything that would have been white or silver or lightly colored is painted like screaming neon pink and and neon orange.
It I mean, it blends, right. You got to go from south to north on this thing, from from the bottom, from the belly up toward the dorsal. It blends not at all seamlessly from hot orange to bright pink into sort of an indigo purple.
Well, this is really something else. This is what happened here, right? How the decision was made at the time, so we assume that someone in the time space continuum caught the white marlin, was proud of the white marlin, decided they needed a mount of the white marlin and then got to sunset colors, which I'm sure at the time just sounded brilliant.
But it's one of those pieces that for the years following you look at and question every single dog, every time somebody comes over you, like, did you see that son since I got the sunset colors.
It's pretty dope, right?
And people are just like, yeah, yeah. I mean, I get it. I get it. I was I was 15 once and I bought myself a sunburst Stratocaster.
Think that was really, really cool because I was maybe doing a fair amount of acid at the time and I thought that would be a great idea. My only hope is that whoever was on this charter boat was also doing a fair amount of acid.
And this is how the fish looked in their memory of the trail as it leapt with backing out backlit.
And they're like, oh, I got to capture the trippy as I want to remember that forever thing I've ever seen in my life.
I mean, painted just like that. And he followed through so good on him.
I mean, he followed through it. It takes me back. Do you remember this has got to be going back 15 years ago, but it was sort of on trend for certain replica houses in Florida to do like those tattoo flame schemes on fish.
Do you remember that? Oh, thankfully, I don't remember.
Oh, yeah. I must have missed that particular trend that I'm not sorry.
Like the back half of the fish will be one solid color in the whole head was just like racing slash tattooed flames. That was a thing that they offered. So I will say this, if nothing else, at least this is not a mass produced color scheme like the flames, like it is an original.
Right? I mean, it probably probably is one of a kind. So if you have four hundred and ninety five dollars kicking around, I would I would look this one up on Facebook marketplace because I'm sure I'm sure it won't last long, even though it is already lasted over two weeks.
But hey, post just what it's reduced from eight hundred. So you really get the screaming deal. The time is now.
You could get this guy down to 310 like Garino Doubt. Anyway, we love the junk, we love the weird sales.
So if you find some online in your area, some some weird odd fishing things for purchase, do please send us the links at Bent at the Meat Eater Dotcom so that we can make fun of people where you live here on our show.
Hey, we're coming to the end here. And that means it's time for End of the Line, probably the most critical segment in this entire podcast, because without it, how the hell would you know what to tie on this weekend?
Miles, taking the lead on this one. And I concur with his choice.
It deserves to be here. You're damn right it deserves to be here.
Although I wouldn't take our in the line segment is the only thing you should fish over the weekend.
But there are certain lures that just seem like they get lost in the couch cushions of a fishing history. Right. And then exactly.
Just because we get distracted by the shiny new bait drop doesn't mean that those classic lures stop working. They're still damn good.
They're not loud enough, but. It's better it's a great lose for kids tested our religion it in there's a pretty good chance something will take a whack at it. Plus they usually just have the one hook so they don't hang up too easily. And chances of an easily distracted or maybe uncoordinated child bearing the points somewhere painful is lower than, say, an inland spinner like the MEPs. I sunk in my father's face when I was seven. Sorry about that, Dad.
But while spinnerets remains staples and any serious freshwater Engler's arsenal, another type of safety pin style lures seems relegated to the kids table. I'm talking about the Beatles spin. You remember those Beatles beans used to take a prime real estate in my boxes before I got all sophisticated somewhere in my late teens. Legend has it that the Beatles bean was invented by a guy named Chuck Woods. Woods was part of a crew of progressive bass anglers who hung around Finks tackle shop on the Kansas side of Kansas City in the 50s, 60s and 70s.
Woods and his buddies are often credited with inventing finessed bass fishing. I mean, I suspect that plenty of other anglers in other parts of the country independently figured out the fishing slower and more delicately pays off. But it's also fair to say that Woods was an innovator in the sport. His invention of the Beatles Bean alone, Bustos Hall of Fame status. In my eyes, you'd have a hard time finding a simpler lure than the Beatles. It can be fish to virtually any speed with any retrieve it still produces.
Crawl it, bump it. Krolick at Drolet. Gigot Fish bite it. That's sheer versatility.
May be the reason it's often associated with top of Buckstone by people under 16.
But there's also this inherent goofiness of the Beatles spin. It doesn't have the molded, skirted elegance of a grown up spinner bait or the sleek simplicity of inline spinner.
It certainly isn't near as highbrow as a box of complex cranks, and it doesn't offer a fraction of the rigging options you'll find in a sack of Sancho's. One might argue that the Beatles spin isn't even really its own bait.
It's a spinner arm attached to a jagged tip with a split tail grip. It's a Frankenstein of spare parts, easily assembled for less than a dollar. So why would any idiot buy a Beatle spin? All right. First off, name brand Beatles Bean still sell for under two bucks, so you're not breaking the bank either way. Second, I have experimented with just about every permutation of soft plastic trailer, and I'm convinced that the original narrow bodied split tail outperforms all the others in just about every situation.
I cannot explain why those stock bodies moved like they've been pumped full of Botox.
They pretty much starfish their way back to the boat no matter what you do to them, a curly or paddle tail would impart a heck of a lot more action.
But in my personal experience, they catch fewer fish. So I keep buying the real beetle spends just to get my hands on those lifeless bodies. My one and only complaint about beetles is that Johnson quit making the Magnum size sometime in the late 80s, early 90s. I'm not sure. Believe it or not, I got my first Muskie on a Magnum beetle spit orange with black stripes, of course, and that beat pin more pike than any other throughout my childhood.
So, Johnson, if you're listening, bring back the Magnum, please. For those of you out there who, like me, stopped reaching for Beetle spins right around the time he started getting interested in the Spice Channel, I suggest you revisit your roots from bluegill to Croppy to Bastar, cetra to redfish to Pike.
The things just work.
Before we go, a toast to some good news finally in reference to what's generally known as the Pebble Mine, on Monday, the Army Corps of Engineers did not issue the permit northern Dynasty Minerals requested to mine the headwaters of Bristol Bay, Alaska. Now, if you don't know I'm talking about, then you have not been paying attention for the past decade or so. But that's all right. You can read all the details about this in Sam Lundgren's excellent series of articles covering the situation at the Meat Eater Dotcom.
Bristol Bay is the reason that I'm here making this sometimes silly and sometimes serious podcast about fishing, an activity that is itself sometimes silly and sometimes serious. I got my first guiding job at a large up a river that feeds Bristol Bay 14 years ago, the year after Northern Dynasty discovered the pebble deposit. I got to spend four months out of the year living in waders, drinking tent, warm beer, trying to keep my clients from pissing off brown bears and standing beside those clients as they caught what were often the biggest fish of their lives.
Massive rainbows, Dolly Varden, Arctic Grayling Pike and of course, wild native Pacific salmon in addition to the fish and the bears. So very many bears. I saw wolves, moose, cariboo lynx, even a wolverine for a young man whose grey matter folds were sculpted on stories of wild fishing in Alaska. Developing an intimate relationship with that place was one of the most significant opportunities of my life. I knew the exact gravel bars the sockeye would funnel across which slews the chum's like to spawn in the big flats where the fire engine red kings' dug their reds.
The pounded down spots on a bank where one bears territory ended and another began. I knew the seams were early season trout stacked up to feed on juvenile lampreys migrating smolt, the water temperature at which the catus would hatch and the rainbows would start eating mice.
I was lucky enough to get to know the circulatory rhythms of one of the most incredible places in North America. Those years inspired me so much that I wrote a book about one of them, and that book jumpstarted my career as an outdoor writer. Today I get to feel inspired again because a coalition of people, some of whom can barely agree on the color of the sky, were able to agree that this place is too valuable to risk and stood up for it.
I would like to thank everyone who dug in on this, who made noise, who worked to stop it, so many quote unquote wins in our current culture go to one side or another. But I genuinely believe that this is a win for all of us, at least all of us who care about fish and wilderness. So thank you and salute. That's it for this week, to put it in Cliff's Notes, form four, for those of you who just barely got through school like we did, you just learned how to piss off people in Erie, Pennsylvania, where to drink in Key West.
If you don't give a shit about key lime pie, which I don't, or Mardi Gras beads, which I do a little, and the Joe is all about slippery dicks, I yeah.
All true things just got said there. And you know, we are an educational program really. It's Reading Rainbow for Angler's, but you don't have to take my word for it.
Just read our reviews, which we could use more of, please.
So what I'm saying and what I'm saying is please leave us a review if you like what you're hearing or if you hate it, for that matter, let us know by sending an email to Bente at the Meat Eater dot com. We are civil servants of the fishing community and love feedback from you guys.
Tell us what you like, what you don't, what you'd like to hear. And we'll do our best to deliver the goods.
We hope you guys are hitting the water this weekend and if so, put us up.
Let us know how it went. Yeah, I'm sure all those sunset shots will be breathtaking.