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Do you call him daddy? Do I call her daddy, call her daddy. Hello, people, it's me. Hello, Earthlings greeting.

It's the call her daddy bitches. Back at it again. I want to apologize. I didn't even do that on purpose. I really didn't. I want to apologize in advance for my voice because I kind of am losing my voice, but that's OK. We're going to power through. That's fine. So I lost my voice because of this bitch right here yourself. Yes, I understand. And that's fine. And I'm sorry, Sophia, you put yourself through something that required you to lose your voice.

Were you about to say boys will like boys will like it, everyone else will hate it? A little sultry. A little a little like cigarette smoke, but some Eluay ill. So Sofia's losing her voice because of it? No, it has nothing to do with me. Alex Hollick forced me to go out OK.

And I also forced the alcohol down your throat. Kinda I would say so a little bit. She wanted me to rage until 5:00. This is the thing when Alex and I go out, we go out.

Everything has to go out and about in the next day. There are no limits. The limit does not exist. And this is not even us being proud. No, we talk about it afterwards. We're like, why do we do that? I'm regretting it even now. It was about two days later. Yeah, days later. I think we should tell everybody step by step what happened because it made me lose trust in all men. Yeah, but we'll do that next week because we have way more important things to discuss.

Yes. So Valentine's Day is coming up. What are you doing for Valentine's Day?

I like how it's on a Friday night because I do selfishly think because I've been single and don't I am fucking single on Valentine's Day. But if you don't have someone that you're, like, hooking up with, I think it's nice that it's on a Friday. You like Ragi, your girlfriend. Yeah. Everyone that single out there don't feel fucking about it's a stupid ass holiday.

What I'm doing for Valentine's Day, I think I'm going to all star weekend because if there's something that you guys did know about me, it's I love basketball fucking hole in one fucking Poinar down the lane up and down the court hit and with a three pointer. And I'm with this guy DA. What's the one that's like from really far away. Three point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Three point. OK, I love that for you. I cannot I my he just, he really gets he's like baby I've got something planned.

You're like, you're like expecting like a romantic getaway to a spa. He's like all star weekend basketball you and me. Let's go. I'm kidding. Right. It's, it will be fun. Oh yeah. It'll be fun for you.

But I think what you were really asking me is like what what I'm going to get in. I already know and I don't you know, I don't know. I wish you guys could see Sophia's body, as she's saying, the whole Valentine's Day. No, you thought I see you naked like God. She has gained and she is love. You know, I you were because I thought we were both thinking, I'm in we're laundry, that I thought you right to be like her body does not look good and she's got to get it together by Friday.

No, I was saying your body language right now. Speak to her dude speaking. Sylvia, the way she's speaking about Valentine's Day, you're flapping your hands. You look so defeated, you look annoyed. You're like, oh, God damn it, I know. The other week I asked Sophia this question. Her mom was visiting. We were leaving a restaurant. And, you know, your mom was trying to figure out her Valentine's Day to we're all like, what are you guys doing for Valentine's Day?

And Sophia gets into this like manly walking, urgent position and walks past both of us. And what the fuck did you say?

I think I said that I am going to do what everyone does where laundry and sex in front of my mom. Your like is my favorite part because your mom just kind of like stopped in like everyone else. She's fine. She's fine. She's fine. No, but you were so aggravated. You're like, I guess just suck Dick and Andre and fuck me. Yes. Because no, I guess I will I will probably end up doing what every basic bitch does.

Yeah. Like, why do we have to make it so sexual? Like we don't. What if we were just sentimental? Why does that have to be so sexual. That's true. If you. Yeah. And that's actually such a good I've been trying to work on that. I with my therapist was talking about love languages. Do you. Oh actually they just mentioned that on The Bachelor the other night. This was funny because I know you don't watch it.

The girl goes up to the guy and goes and sits on his lap and she's like, Can I sit on you? And she's like, Physical touch is one of my love languages. And I haven't had, like, physical touch with you in a while. And she just sat her fat us down on day one.

Yeah. Yeah, OK. Hold on, because people might be confused. There was a book released. Yes, honest, I think it was released like in the 90s, but then I think it caught on and became really popular like a few years back. Right.

And it was it's called the Five Love Languages. And pretty much what it is, is it says that everyone expresses and receives love in one of five ways. Yes. And then this guy explains what the five ways are. And you're supposed to know how you give love and how you receive love. Yeah. And I didn't know that until this year. And I guess so. The five love languages are physical touch, words of affection, quality, time, gifts, and then acts of service, words of affirmation, me words about what did I say?

Maybe a dirty talk. I don't know. OK, sorry Alex. Gifts and physical touch I want you to get. And then she wants like a Cartier bracelet next to the van. Yeah, literally. That's what some shady thing. But no I, I actually recently was talking about that with my therapist and she was like the your two top ones that mean something to you like that you want your partner to show you they could have a complete different ones.

So it's important to be on the same page as them of like what your language is. I brought this up to suit me and I only knew how to receive and I didn't know how I give love.

And it was like, so that is kind of fucked up and you should probably know how you give what that is actually. So. So if you're in a relationship, I remember this is such a tangent, but I remember Sophia looked at me one day and is like, I could never date athletes like you do. And I was kind of like, oh, like you. And you were like, I could never be like a fan of someone supporting them.

I need to be the princess in the relationship. And all the attention is always on me. I stand by that 100 percent. I didn't do it. So that makes sense. You don't know how to go. You just like that. I'm I'm just saying, guys, if you try to find out what your love languages, then you know how you receive and also how you get his life really is. Well, I don't giving and receiving.

I hate that I'm exposing myself, but I don't know what my how I give. I just knew that's what I'm thinking. What are your love languages? I receive by quality time and words of affirmation. Oh my God. Those are my top two to real quality time is the first one words of affirmation and then physical touch and then gifts and then acts of service. Courage. Fuck you. I'm not as fucking surface level motherfucking gold gold digging digging out.

You thought I just want to meet someone because I've asked this question before. I want to meet the person that's like my number. I kind of thought yours was amazing. You know, if you can get a gift, like if Superman doesn't get me this gift for Valentine's Day, we will be breaking up. I'm like, oh my God, I am.

What are Schuman's the what are his you know, he did tell me. Oh, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. It was I. I already know slim shades were his was words of affirmation was number one, and then number two was acts of service.

So I are like, he was out touch. You didn't know for our friend. So I'm sitting there. I'm like, I'm supposed to do little things to show that, like, I'm partake. Right? You're like, you're the least sentimental girl. So I was you know, it's been hard to like. I remember when I left our trip, I ended up like writing him a few notes and I left like one on the bed. I left a couple, like, in his clothing line, and he was like, Are you OK?

I'm like, I'm really trying to put it this way, guys. When my birthday was coming up, Alex turned to me in the back of an Uber. I'll never forget it. And she said, Can we just not do the opposite? Carrie does not do the present thing because, like, I don't know what to get you in. Like, it's just like who knows how they were happy. I was so relieved and so happy. What's wrong with us?

I don't know. But I love that you said that. And I think we should continue that tradition because I think you should never, ever please Sophia and I get gifts for all of our friends. And we're literally talking about the other day we were like, we are so happy that the two of us have this amazing relationship where I'm like, it's your birthday now. Fuck off. Exactly. And happy birthday. Right? And we move on.

And so it lovely. Which this. Here we go. I think it's really interesting now that we just went through that. I didn't even realize we've never told the daddy gang our whole thing about how we don't give gifts to each other. And like, I love that about us. And I think it's interesting that, like, you and I are so different in our male relationships, but with our relationship together, it couldn't be more perfect because people are like, how the fuck do you guys live together?

And I have never in my life been more compatible with someone.

It's it's like she's the ying yang. No, but she's like, it's going to smell like weed. I'm like, no worries. Like, I have a panic attack. Noboa The way we live together, it's like we don't when Sophie and I go into our rooms, we like are so good about personal space. We never bother each other. Our messiness level. Yes, but we're not so fucking discussing that. We're discussing together and then we decide to clean it up together.

We're very respectful. Look at us. So I guess we're just putting all the rumors to bed. If you thought we hated each other. I do. But living wise, it actually really fucking works. Guys, Adam and Eve, you know the drill. You're going to select almost any one item and you're gonna get 50 percent off. And then with that 50 percent off item, you're also going to get ten free gifts, OK? You won't see it in your check out box, but when you get your actual package, there will be ten little free things in there, too, right.

You guys can pretend that you're going to get all creative about your Valentine's Day gift. But let's be honest, it's either going to be laundry or lube or a sex toy. So Adam and Eve is the way to go. I know that's what I'm going to be doing. Also, they're offering free shipping. So guys go to Adam and Eve Dotcom and use code her daddy, OK, that is Adam and Eve Dotcom and code her daddy because without the code, you're not going to get all of this free Valentine's stuff.

I want to talk about getting fucked every whore in the world on Friday, February 14th. You're going to be getting fucked, right? Going to be getting fucked, whether it's because you're single and you just want to go find a guy that is not also single or you're going to retire because he stood you up and you're alone and you're going to fuck a dildo or you're in a relationship, healthy health and wellness. Yeah. So there will be a lot of sex.

There'll be a lot of sex. And I want to talk about getting fucked from behind and I want to give all those romantic positions. All I can try to dig is in your ass. OK, so getting fucked from behind I was talking about with Sofia. We want to give you guys some tips because tips of getting fucked from behind are always what a girl needs, always the girl wants. And also we're helping out the men out there because all of this is just to make your ass.

You look better yet. So I was while I was having sex, I was thinking, I'll call her daddy. It was kind of cute, like you were thinking about me. That's kind of weird. But also like I thought about you. So I was getting fucked from behind and I was like kind of paying attention to what I was doing. I was in blackout for the first time and I realized that there was something I was doing with my feet and my arms that I want to share with the daddy game.

Everyone assumes that when you're doing doggie, you have your hands on the bed like your palm. Yeah.

And you're like kind of in a bridge position like like when you were a kid and you would walk around pretending you were like a dog or a cow, you know, is a perfect example. Then fast forward and now you're just getting fucked enough. Yes. And when you get older. So I was realizing that every time I've been getting fucked from behind lately, I haven't been on my hands. I've been levitating.

You know, I would love it. OK, so no, what have you put on your face? I just get real, you know? OK, so what I've been doing is I have been getting down on my forearms, kind of like I'm doing a plank, but like lower. So so basically my ass is up in the air and then the rest of my body is in a downward arch all the way down to that. I'm on my two forearms and my forearms are like right underneath my face.

And then my face is like pretty much down. Yeah, my face down. Hey, I like to fire and we go and I know it's like a very basic little tip, but I do think that there are a lot of girls that are doing this when they're getting fucked. Yeah. Your body looks so much better in that position. Yes, because a lot of times I feel like girls when they are just doing the regular doggy, you see the names where the girl looks like the Hunchback of Notre Dame, right.

You kind of like a cat, scaredy cat. If you can't take dick. Well, also, that's fine. That's actually position can make it easier for you to look like you're taking it, even though it can still like maybe it hurts you. Yeah, but you can't really have hunchback in that position. I think if your forearm is forearm is great. The second part of this I ended up doing that. The guy went fucking crazy over this.

I took the top of my feet and I wrapped them around the back of his hamstrings while he was fucking from behind. I actually did that a couple weeks ago, too. And it is OK. How great. It's great. So great. What the feed. I thought it was great, but I didn't like it wasn't anything special to me. It was more the guys feed feedback of it. After we had sex, he turned to me and was like, when you put your feet wrapped around my hamstrings, I was able to kind of go even harder with my stroke because your legs kind of keep your bodies a little bit tight.

To bring closure and that way he is like kind of pounding you a little bit harder almost, and he has a better, like grip on your body. He has a better grip on your body.

Whoa, whoa. So if you come back, guys who. Holy shit, I'm OK. What the fuck was I saying? You were saying he has a better grip on your body and and you have a better grip on him. Yes. You don't feel like he's going to go flying. You don't you don't feel like you're just kind of an object that he is fucking you're kind of a part of the motion of. Yes, you're part of the girls.

Put your legs behind his hamstrings and latch the fuck on. Be a clingy bitch in this position. This is the only time we're going to say you can be clingy with the.

Oh, she she's doing she's doing just doing it. Thank you, dog. Also one of my favorite positions. I've been doing it. I've been laying down. But the guy put a pillow underneath my pelvic bone. OK. Yes. And because he did this, you I mean, you can imagine it, there's like a curve in my back, right? And then my ass is like a little bit more up in the air and then it's curving back down.

And so, like, the entire emphasis is on my ass. Also what I did and I didn't even mean to do it, which I only realized later in the sex tape, he took it as I was watching my body. And that's actually not even a joy. It's not a joke because she showed me. So I know exactly what you're talking about. I when we finished. Yeah, he was like that was so fucking hot. And I was like, yeah, I bet my ass that's good.

Yeah I know my ass. Yeah, totally. And he was like, no, like obviously the US looked amazing because it was propped up on the pillow. But your and this is going to sound weird and people are going me like you, you amateur. It's OK.

He said that my back and like my shoulder blades looked so high. OK, who.

And I was like, man, what are you talking about? And he was like, let me show you.

He's like, let me pull up the sex tape. Hold on. And I looked back on the sex tape and what I was doing is I had my arms. They were super close next to me and it looked as if I was about to do a push up, OK, but my arms were right next to me. I think when you were explaining to me at home, you were saying you also were like grabbing the sheets. I was like gripping the bed still like with every thrust and stuff, like you could see, like my shoulder blades, like engaged yet.

And like it just showed, like, you are fucking me. I am holding on to the bed like it hurts. Yes, they kind of did. Yeah. So I think that's really hot. And Alex, you saw OK. Yeah. So maybe explain it better. Well all I have to say is, my God, I need the ass on her in this position. No Sophia's body. I seen you and you're, you've got a great, nice body.

Thank you. This made it look something I've never seen. It really made it look like. What it's not what it's not. Yeah. And you it literally made you look like you have like a fake. Yeah. And then because your whole body when your arms are close up next to your upper torso like your shoulders. Yes. Your upper body looks so small and thin and narrow. Right. Keeping the weight to. Yes. And then your ass up on the pillow look genau.

Yes. Yeah. And I was like oh this is fucking great. So women around the world, everyone grab a pillow, get fucked or get down on your forearms. This lovely Valentine's Day, that's all it got me too. Too sick for this shit. Take a swig of your tea. Yeah. While we move on to something.

Not do you sound like you're like operating like a like a roller coaster, like a please take a swing of here to while I ramp up the next ride and the next ride is about to be quite the ride.

Sophia and I ride. So you and I have talked about the men we're talking to, which we ought to start. Yeah, I think they're going to be out soon. We fucking hate. I mean, one in particular. Yeah, but so if you and I have talked about our guys and we always read all of your dreams, we read all your questions as many as we fucking can. Yeah.

And a lot of people are like, oh, congrats. Like, that's so fucking great. How the fuck did you guys meet? Right. And I'm like, oh child, that's a really good question. We kind of tell you guys all about the sex. And again, in honor of 20-20 feelings and more in depth of, like, realistic shit, we want to tell you guys that all three men that we're talking to right now and I say we because we're talking all of them.

You write my text, I write you're absolutely all of them were met on a dating app. So all those people out there that, you know, try to talk shit on dating apps, because I feel like a lot of couples are embarrassed to say we met on a dating app. Shut up. Be quiet.

Just just be quiet.

I remember there's so many people I've met that, like, whisper when I'm like, how'd you guys meet in there? Like, oh, I'm like, why are you whispering? That's dope. There's something about dating apps that people are so embarrassed still to this day to admit that they found their husband or wife or their significant other on a dating app. And it's like why I was at a dinner and this really cute, successful girl was complaining about all the men out there and how she, like, can't find a guy.

Yeah. And I was like, are you on any dating apps? And she said, no, I, I just don't do that. I could do I don't fuck with dating apps. I think they're ridiculous. And you're like, oh well you're fucking single so. And I'm like, and then she really had no reason, you know, like she had like a. Real reason to give me there's just like a stigma around it, it's and it's so annoying.

And so we just wanted to say stop the stigma because I get it, it's more romantic to meet in person. There's something about people wanting the serendipity of it, of meeting in person. Yes. Like they want to be strolling into the grocery store with their shopping cart and they take a swift turn into aisle two and they accidentally bump into someone else's grocery cart. And it's like bumper cars up in this bitch. And there's a tall, dark and handsome man on the other end of the other shopping cart.

And he says, wow, you get those organic eggs, too. And she says, yes, cook them for you sometime. I would love to cook you some eggs. And he says, Oh, my God, how about now? And then they check out together and then they go back up to the apartment and they end up getting married. Yeah, that's what everybody. And you do well, and then they're married and it's so cool.

But that's what everyone wants. Like they want that movie or that shit happens. I don't know if it is. I there is a movie like that. But the thing is, is just stop. I order grocery. I don't go to the grocery store. I don't leave my apartment other than to come feel right. So the dating app is the way to go. Yeah. So we both so. So if you met Superman on a dating app and I think that you should really take us through the journey.

Well, how you met him because it's pretty fucking great. OK, like detail by detail and don't leave one out. And if you try, don't worry, I'll come right in Ohio at all. Let's start from the beginning. I'm in Salt Lake City, Utah. I'm sitting on the couch next to my mom. I'm severely depressed for men, for reasons I can talk about at a later date, because that is not what we're talking about now.

She grabs my phone. And she's like, I am so done with the douche bags you're dating, give me the phone. I am so done with the Depression.

You're getting fucked. Yeah, she takes my phone and she starts showing me guys. And she's like, oh, what about this one? And of course, the guys my mom is wanting to ha. I'm like, get him out of my face. Disgusting. And she keeps like going through people and she comes across this guy and it says just here for friends. And as we've previously discussed, that means that he thinks he's slick, slick. And he thinks that by saying just here for friends, he can manipulate the situation and make the girl think that he just wants a friendship.

Yeah, he's Christian. He wants a friendship.

And that's what he really wants to do, is make you think that and then fuck your brains out and then leave you on the side of the road, dive into the pussy and then throw you into the dumpster, all under the impression that he just wants a friendship. Get out of here. Every man with that on our dating profiles of you and I have literally said, well, no match with people. Well, here she is. Well, I said no.

Yeah, I said mom. He said he's just there for friends.

And of course, my mom's like, oh, my God, it's amazing. Easy. Let's like get with the program. She's like, he looks so nice. Oh, God.

His profile, things like I practice yoga, meditation discussed. I don't drink alcohol. I'm allergic to club pictures of his dogs, pictures of his dog. Disgusting. I told my mom that's a that's going to be a no for me dog.

So then he you're like holding up the name of Reggie Jackson and you just. Deridder know for me, dog. Thank you, Mom. Oh, she doesn't give a shit.

She's a big fat hard. She's just going through. I'm laying there. I'm sad cause she's like, can I message him. And I said no. And she said I already did. I was like, OK, can I see what the fuck? You know, she's like sixteen. My mom my mom, first of all, sent the first message, OK, which I promise you, after being on dating apps for years, I never once was the bitch that reached out for no.

Well, no, dude, you don't even check your dating when Sofia was, like, really trying to be active on the dating app she would have, when I tell you, like a hundred and two notifications that I'm like Sofia. And the only way Sofia would ever interact with these people is if she, like, needed a night out. So I'm like, OK, no, Alex, I know this is a tangent. Alex, I would you I say Sofia, because Alex is doing the same shit.

Alex, I would use dating apps essentially to party party connection. Like you would message a guy. It would be Friday night. We'd be like, oh, like we don't really have too many plans. Sofia would be like, hold on, let me reach out to at least ten randoms on the dating app and let's see. And we just say, what are you doing tonight? Yup. And the second a guy responded with, oh, you know, I'm not doing a lot like, would you like to go out to dinner?

No, we're not answering. And so next guy. And if one was like, oh, I'm going to dinner with friends. Amazing. We're coming. Yeah. So that's kind of how we were networking in the dating app. We weren't really there for love. We were abusing it for partying. Yeah. Yeah. We like to party favors like can we go to gospel. We like Casablanca and they're like, I thought this was a date and like your next year I'm next to you fucking wasted.

Okay, so back to Stutman, back to see your mom messages, mail messages him and she says, oh. Too bad you're here just for friends, because I think you're hot and I'm looking for marriage. Guys like that is verbatim what my mother wrote suit me, and that was the first message he got from my mom, a.k.a. thinking it was me. So the journey begins. That is so. Oh, oh, my.

My mom is out of control. I'm like, Mom, I'm here. What is wrong. Marriage road ever since was so.

And I'm sure you guys are wondering. I asked him later on and I was like, how were you not freaked the fuck out. Why did you even respond to that? And he was like, normally when a girl reaches out first, I think there's something wrong with her, which I found interesting.

And when I saw something wrong with her, yeah, he's like, she wants something for me.

Oh, my girls usually are like getting it seems like a little bit of a personal, deep seated issue. Childhood. Yes.

So then he said the only reason he engaged with it is because he did find the message a little bit funny, although creepy and because of the way I looked at him. I mean, that makes sense. He was like I looked and I thought you were attractive. So I was willing to take the crazy first guess I wanted to say always fucking.

Ah, yeah. So there's like a little conversation and then I don't respond to him for over a month. Beautiful.

You go you, you leave. I wasn't party. No, no. I didn't need to be. Yeah. You weren't partying one and you weren't with your mom anymore. You're like I don't go on that up anymore. My mom goes on it when I'm in Salt Lake. I'm on it when I'm back in New York. No. And it was my mom talking to you. So anyways, I'm back in New York. He reaches out again.

It's like a month later and he says, I hope you're not responding to my messages because you're just a really slow reader.

Oh. Oh, my. Is oh, I am not that's not what's so buddy boy. So I kind of thought that was rude. But then I also thought it was funny and I think I said to him one thing like ha ha ha ha, are you going out tonight? You're partying. He's like, I don't drink. I can never mind. Absolutely. I'm not sure I remember who you are. You've got another month goes by. So this is like two months, OK, since that fateful day that my mom and him tell them now is where the story gets good.

I'm going to ramp it up. Here we go. There is a guy that I grew up watching on TV.

Yeah. He's not that much older than me, but I had the I remember having the biggest crush on him when I was like in high school and we matched on the APK. And we started talking and I was so goddamn excited, you were so excited, I was so excited, he we kind of we're going back and forth like we kept, like, not being able to, like, meet each other. And finally we set the date. Yes.

And I mean, ask Alex, I got a spray tan. I got the hair done. I was like, she went shopping for an outfit. Yes. Scheduled a spray tan. Nails done. Hair done. Yes. And when I tell you this woman walked into our apartment or disgusting apartment, she looked amazing. Yeah. You looked and you hadn't been eating for a week. I was eating. I was like I was like, no, I think this guy like could be.

And she was you were so excited. Yeah. I was so fucking basically like didn't work that entire day. So you get ready for the day. Yes. Yes. And I was so excited for. Yes. And Alex is like, oh my God. And I'm like, oh my God, I've got a crush on him for like ten years. Yes. Well, he's going to listen to this and be like, yeah, he doesn't even know what he did to you.

He has no fucking clue is. Well, actually, there's another story about that I'll tell later. But this had been the first guy that I was actually really excited about. I was still getting over my ex. And you guys know how that is when you're you're still sad. Yeah. Until you meet a new person. Yeah. That really is how it works.

So I, I just had a lot I had a lot on this day. Yeah. Two hours before I'm supposed to walk out the door and meet him for dinner, I get a text message.

Rita, I'm going to pull it up. OK? Hey, I need to be a flake. Sorry I can't tonight. Sophia walks out of her bedroom. I am her phone. She sits down next to me, has a panic attack.

I read it. I start having a panic attack. We're sitting there. You were so upset. I want to fall in level one through 10. I was a 10. Oh, yeah. So upset because I think because, like you just said, the the hexing you were this was the first guy you were excited about post-tax and also kind of like one of the first real date. Yeah. It's like a man and everyone knows how that is when you're getting over your act.

Anything that goes wrong with a new guy, it's fucking earth shattering also. Not to mention on top of that, you had just gone above and beyond to make yourself look so fucking hot. Yeah. The fact that now it's like I feel I felt humiliated, you know. Did you respond? I well, Alex, after hours of deliberation, we decided that I was going to respond and I just said, no worries. OK, so that to which he proceeded, you know, down the road to reach out several times.

I never answered him again. That's right. Done, bitch. Fuck you. Fuck me one time you will never, ever, ever, ever get a second chance. Absolutely. So I felt really, really bad. Yeah. And I was like, I guess I'm just going to sit in my room and go into like an actual scary deep, dark hole of depression that I don't know if I'll be able to crawl out of. And I call my mom and she says, you need to fucking go out.

Yeah. You need to do something. Go to the club, go. Wrage Your mom knows.

She knows.

I get all my trusty handy dandy dating app and I. You know, just machine gun send out 10 of the same message to 10 different guys. Michelle, what are you doing tonight? What are you doing tonight? What are you doing tonight? What are you doing tonight?

And I had some guys that were like, oh, like, you know, I don't really have plans. Like, what are you thinking of doing? I had some guys who said that they couldn't hang out. I had some guys that were like, I wouldn't be able to see you until way later. I had one guy say, I'm sending you an Uber. It will be picking you up at 8:00 p.m. and we will have dinner.

And you know who that guy was saying, man, what a fucking baller. That just gave me chills. I don't know. I've heard the story like 19 died. But it's so good. It's so good because every fucking guy, like, I don't know, like, would you want to it's like, shut the fuck up. Like, tell me what to do. Tell me what to do. Beryl's want to be told what to do, some feminist fuck off.

But he took control. The fact that he's like, you've got an Uber coming at 8:00, we're going to dinner, be ready like yeah. So fucking hot, so high. But even then I actually like called my mom and I was like, Mom, that guy that you matched with wants me to go. It doesn't rank with his dog. Yeah. Like, I don't think I want to go. And she just said, Sofia, you need to go.

I got ready. I went. And the rest is history.

God, he must have been like this bitch look so beautiful for some reason tonight. Like I've been prepping for eight. I know this is just the way I just got out of that. OK, that is such a baller example for men all around the fucking world. They listen to this podcast like when a girl wants to do something, but like, you know, all the means of how indecisive we are. The fact that he just gave you a date, he got you a car, and he's like, this is where he already had reservations.

I guess that's just so fucking great. Right? And how wild.

Because we I mean, we started talking in quotation marks two months prior. So, like for him, I came out of the fucking woodwork. I had not heard from me for two months. Right. Pretty much just sitting in each other's like dating app messages, just like and it wasn't even like, oh, like, hey, how have you been? It was like to night. What are you doing? That was so weird. I know.

Which I guess he that night ended up canceling a super important meeting he had. Oh, for the day for the show. He had like a feeling he he said he had a feeling he was like I just like knew that there is something there. I don't I don't even know how to describe it. So I just did it.

Guys, that is just kind of like the beginning because. Because then you thought he was a serial killer. And we'll get to that one day. The first few months of dating him is like just as bizarre and wild. I just wanted to tell that story because, I mean, we met on a dating site. Well, I also think that and that was serendipitous in itself. Yeah. You know, that story is fucking awesome. I also think that like anyone that is, I've been there and I've told, like some of my friends that are recently single, like there is just something sometimes about you look at your phone and you see someone in your dating app and they're asking you to go on a date and you're sitting and you're watching Netflix and eating food.

And you're like, what? I rather do this than go on that date. Yes. Yeah. And sometimes it just takes you getting the fuck out of bed. Yeah. And going. Because had you not been ready for that first day, you wouldn't be going, you wouldn't have gone on a date with Superman, you probably would have met him. So it's like if you are some nights when you're just like I don't want to go force yourself to go, because I promise you there are some nights that like I've gone and had the worst idea, but then I also have gone and had the fucking best days.

You're never you won't have the best day unless you get out of your house. And I literally met the Canadian on a dating app, too, and I didn't want to go out that night when he was in town. And I was like, I don't feel like fucking going. But I was like, fuck it, I'm just going to go up. And I was in a bad mood. And then the minute I got there and then there it was.

I mean, and guys, that's not to say Alex and I did not have our fair share of going and meeting up with guys and being like, I would like to die. I actually think we should talk. We could talk about that next week. Yeah. My series of dating and it was horrible. Yes. I remember that, like, Sofia and I have both had horrible, horrible dates. If you guys want us to talk about that, we can.

We went through some fucking shitty ass time.

Oh, yeah. I want to talk to them about how we both on separate occasions had guys follow us to our apartment and like try to get in. Oh, just casually.

I know, cause I'm like, oh, we yes. That shit was fucking horrifying. And for me specifically. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. Let's talk about that next week, OK. Oh man. Do as the Romanoff's do fuck them and fuck them good. And fuck them long Roman swipes bitches who many of you are splurging all up in that pussy and getting bitches pregnant and. Not OK. And it's like you do that, but at least last longer, right?

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Again, that is get Román dot com slash daddy. I can see it in your eyes. So I think we ought to go to question. OK, do you want me to handle it? You're taking off, please, for the love. Take your tea. As I enter into Cool Juice of the week, I look at looking oh.

So I don't know why I like that. I don't think so. OK, all right.

Let me grab my Luban.

We're ready to go fathers. I want to fuck my Dr. Elmo. How does one go about doing this? I'm sure that would seem pretty risky for him. But can you think of any scenario in which this could happen? He's so young for a doctor and hot as fuck.

Oh, no. So this is the thing is, if you're really going to try to go for it, I hope you have like a backup doctor because. Yeah, because that could be awkward as fuck. It could be really awkward. And if he's not feeling it, you need to be prepared for that. And he may try to have you as a patient. See, the thing is, is again, I don't know if you have like a medical condition, but it's hard because you don't go to the doctor that often.

So you kind of have like a one shot and then like, see you in a few months or even like, yeah, you're kind of I.B., but I get how it's inappropriate. So, like, what could she do to make it, like, the least? OK, so my first thing would be if she's in the room with him, try and make small talk. Yeah, course. Be like, oh look, are you from here you start small conversations.

I don't know how close you are with your doctor already. Then slowly you're like, oh like ah do you have a girlfriend. Just be fucking kind of blunt like that. Yeah. Oh do you have a girlfriend. And he says no. Then I think like towards the end of your appointment you just got to kind of do a Hail Mary and I think you can just maybe invite him to something you're doing. Yeah. So that it's not like a date.

And even if you say something, trying to keep it a little bit professional where you're like, I do not mean to be super forward, but I would love to like, grab drinks with you at some point. If you'd be down for that, I would leave my number and feel free to, like, reach out. Yes. I've been watching a lot of Sex in the City lately because I am a basic home and I've noticed that a lot of times when one of the characters is going to, like, meet a guy for the first time, they do it so casually where the guy is like, oh, come stop by this event, I'm going to be that's like I feel so New York to like live in Ohio.

It may not be like, hey, come stop by the guy. The true but like for New York big. Oh, hey. Like my friend's having like an art exhibit like yeah. I stopped by, see, because if you can do something like that that's like the most like how do you like unassuming way to do it or music something. Yeah. Good luck girl. I had a daughter I wanted to fuck before and you did fuck. I was like, are you sure you don't do gynecology.

You promise. You promise. Here, just take a quick look. Let's see if you'd be good at it.

Since Valentine's Day is coming up, can you guys talk about how to do the whole laundry thing? It can get so awkward if you're shy.

Like when do you put it on? How do you walk out? What do you say?

So this happened to me the other weekend. I fucking kill myself because I literally am such a fucking idiot and I got so high out of my mind before I did it. And I thought it would be a good idea because I'm like, hi, sex is great sex. But I didn't have the lingerie on, so I looked at him, which is, I think a good like little I think I said like, I have a surprise for you, babe, like, hold on.

And then I started.

Well, no, we started even our heads up before we started making out really heavily and we were like getting hot and heavy. And then I just like stopped him and I was like, I'll be right back. I have a surprise for you. I like what fuck it is. Then I got into the bathroom, which this is where it wasn't fucking hot. I get into the bathroom, I imagine so while looking in the mirror like my face more.

Sophia, you have no idea. I was trying to latch on the garter thing to the fucking thigh highs and I had acrylic nails on and I was high. And I'm trying to stick this thing into the fuckin hole and time goes by so slowly. You're like 45 minutes, dude, dude, I was like, we're now kicking into the hour Mark, he's literally not hard anymore and he's asleep and I am in that bathroom. And when I tell you guys I couldn't get the bra on and then I couldn't get the fucking thigh highs attached to the garter, the garters, the worst.

And I was so mad, too, because it was some of the hottest laundry I've ever worn.

So I was so excited and it took me so fucking long. And I was having a panic attack and I wanted to. I ended up just going out naked, like half of it on it. No, I went out there. I didn't even latch on the back of the garter thing. I was like fucking. But I at one point was going to give me just like day off. He's like, no, I. I really at one point was going to say, I quit.

Throw in the towel. No, I'm not kidding. I sat down on the toilet at one point and was like had a heart attack and then got back up on my back. And Alex is on YouTube. How much harder. No, I'm not kidding. Like it got so sad. And and then you're in there overthinking it. So if you are an idiot like me and you think that you may be intoxicated or high or you just fucking can't get it on right and you're just going to be nervous.

My advice would be find a time like right. When you know that you guys are going to be getting back to or like you guys would be hooking up and put on the laundry. If you're going out in an outfit to dinner that you're like fully covered up and you have like a frickin turtleneck on and stuff wear underneath. But if the outfit obviously would show, I would just find a time even just like, hold on, babe. Like my mom called me, I need to take this phone call, go into the bathroom, fake the phone call like I always fucking do, put the whole thing on, put your hoodie back on and go back and hang out with him and on.

And then when he tries to take my clothes, it's on.

Because if not, you're going to be in the restroom freaking the fuck freaking out. Well, also part of her question is, what do you say?

That is such a great question, because when you walk out, I've been there when you put your laundry on, some girls are going to freak out and get nervous and be like, oh, my God, I just want to get on top of him and like, get light like.

Yeah.

And what I think if you got to find the confidence, you walk into that room. If he's sitting down, you literally if he's laying on the bed, like, pull him up, get him on the edge of the bed. And I think you literally look at him in a really sexual way and be like, do you like it?

And you you start rubbing yourself, turn around and check your eyes, do the turn right.

I'm like, just like, baby, do you like this? And then you lean down, you start making out with him and then yeah, I'm like literally take his hand and like put it on you. Right.

We have a man writing in. Yes. I need your help ASAP. He deemed and emailed us. OK, what. So during the past week that I've been going to the gym, I have noticed this lady. She is a MILF coming to the gym. This is where it gets a little confusing. He says there hasn't been really any convo between us except just saying hi. So it's interesting that they're already like they say hi, I guess.

But there has been a lot of eye contact and smiles. I don't know, maybe I'm biased, but my sixth sense kind of tells me that she's down. So I want to know what would be the next move? How should I approach her without being awkward or how can I make sure that she's down to fuck? Also to mention I'm twenty one and I think she's about forty. Love you Daddy game. I like stalked his picture and he like looks like a man like he's a twenty one year old but he's a man, he's like a man bun.

OK, so we've talked about the gym before, we've talked about how the water fountain is like a watering hole for people. Yeah. That is the one appropriate time. If you see her at the water fountain, you could go over and pretend you're about to get water to you and then try to strike up a convo there.

I was going to say, if she is a really avid gym goer. Yeah. Like, a lot of those milfs are the ones I'm imagining from like Draper, Utah, where I'm from. It's like MILF City. Yeah. If you go up to her and this is going to sound like the opposite of what we've said in the past, but if you go up to her and ask her about her workout and what she's doing, I think for some reason older women, especially the ones that work out a lot, they I think that even if you if you're leaving or something and you bring up like, hey, like I'm not to come forward.

Yeah. But I do notice you like doing some like serious workouts, like I like something like that milfs fucking love that shit. And then you just got to be fast and to the point and be like I would love, I would love to get a drink with you because again these women are older, they don't have time for like the stupid bullshit. And so and a lot of times Milfs want to fuck. Yeah. That's their heads and they can't like be going out and going at Chili's and dillydally.

They're like come sneaking through the back and right. Me boom. Alex this one I really need you for. OK, so you're a little bit. Better at this than me. Oh, Father's, I'm wondering if you have any tricks for reading your man's texts or snaps without the notifications going away.

My man left his phone in the room with me, and I know his password.

My man left his phone in the room with me and I know his password, multiple girls were Snapchat ing him and texting, but I was hesitant to go through his phone because I didn't want the notifications to disappear from his lock screen and have him question. If I went on his phone for that, please help. OK, if you don't want the notifications to be gone and everything, if you're in desperate need, I would say go look at everything and then turn his phone off and he'll come back.

What the fuck happened to my phone? And then like, he's like, oh, maybe it just turned off and like, oh, so you do your shit and then quickly turn it off. That's actually like not the worst idea because I really was like, unsure then. The other thing is on Snapchat there is like a little hack that you can view someone's snap without it fully showing you opened it. Yeah. And I, I can't remember what it is like, but it's you, you press on it and I know you like it to this side.

Yeah. But you don't go all the way. Yeah. But that's for that person to not know. I thought. No, no, no.

It still shows that you have an opening because it's still waiting there for you. Oh OK. So, so maybe slide it a little bit. But again, Snapchat take a little riskier. I would, may not. OK, I mean honestly though if you want to open like one and see if like if there's a bunch so you can kind of see the nature of what you think is going on. Right, exactly. So I was going to say, like try to see the stuff on the iPad or on something else or honestly, sweetie, if you have it really sneaking suspicion, like, who cares?

I think I was going to say if you're at the point where you literally think that all these girls are like sliding in and you see these text messages, then I think you just fucking open it also. But if you go to your text, like you can see a big first, like few words you could see, like, yeah, you can see like the first two sentences. So I think just open it and see if you see something like, I want to suck out of your fucking big fat.

I want to become dot, dot, dot, dot. I would say open it or you don't even need to. But yeah, I mean, if you want to just really be ridiculous, you could be like, oh my God, I swear. I thought this was my phone from Texas. I was so cool you then I read The DrippiN come out of your cock and I realize you're alive. I mean, who cares? Like, who cares?

Just open it. It's fine. Trust me, guys, all the guys I've dated think I'm nuts or literally just. Oh, what about this. Go through and read all of them and then select delete all of his text messages and then it will. I've had that before when I open my phone and all of a sudden my none of my texts are there for a second. So he may think something happened and malfunctioned. Not your fault. You read your good.

He's not ok. OK, we have this one is just too funny. OK, so entertaining. OK, ok do dear Daddy's please help me. So my boyfriend of almost three years who we have had a really rocky relationship with him, is coming out of his bachelor lifestyle and is trying to get into the commitment stages. Just told me that when he is older, such as 60 or 70, he will live out his fantasy of having sex with a younger girl and having sex with a midget.

I don't judge fantasies, but of course, as any girl would freak out, I did. He says that he wants to commit to me for life and he wants me as his life partner and only wants to be with me. But he will live out those fantasies when he is older and near the end of his life. It's hard for me to feel like I should stay with him if he's just going to end up basically cheating on me because I'm not OK with it.

Or am I overreacting because at that age I probably won't care at that point or will I? He told me that he's telling me this now so I can make the decision on it if I wanted to stay with him or not. Please help.

I'm going to need some serious clarification. When he hits, so he's going to be in a committed relationship, when he hits 60 or 70, he needs to fuck a midget and he needs to fuck a younger girl and he wants to let her know ahead of time. But can it be a younger girl, Maja? Oh, put it like a little two in one combo. No, it's got to be a young woman and a midget and it is on his head is on his list, and there's no exceptions.

He will lose the love of his life if she's not down because he needs to fuck the midget and the girl, like, what the fuck?

If I were you guys ever giving me an ultimatum, I want to say, fuck, I'm going to say fuck off.

But I'm a sweetie. I'm sure he'll forget about that. I know. I'm like, oh, I doubt when he is 70, he's like, Oh, midget, I can't stop thinking about the young girl and the midget also.

I guess I like. Okay, I never want to offend people. What am I who am I kidding. Why offend people. But I think they are supposed to be referred to as little people. Yes. That's not our fault though, because she wrote Midget in the fashion. So I don't know. I would fucking leave him. He leaves us. That just sounds like an annoying, complicated situation. I don't like it. Get rid of them.

OK, I'm going to ask a question that is extremely, extremely different than any question, OK? Because I'm like, you know, spice it up.

Yeah. Let's let's hit him with a little different feel.

Oh. This person wrote. And he is wondering if we like country music, if we want kids, and if we only speak and understand English, I did like the last question can be like, and do you want to come to Dubai?

You want to sit on it? I am 99 percent sure he wants to hire us for a night. Yes, but. But we first. OK, do we like country music. I, I like kind of like the pop country music. Like I will fucking throw down to some Shania Twain. Taylor Swift. Yeah. Taylor Swift isn't country anymore.

I hate answering. That's my least favorite question in the world. If anyone knows one thing about me I hate when people ask me what kind of music I like. This is a very random thing. But like I have this, like, overwhelming anxiety when people ask me what you don't know anything, you know, you like genuinely like, don't know anything at all.

You know. I do. I do. So you were you were playing Motion City soundtrack like a banger from 11 years ago this morning. I like the oldies but goodies. Hey, no, but listen, follow point up always your boy didn't. I hope no one listen to answer your question. Sure. I like country music. Yeah, I sure can be fun. What was the other question? Do we want kids. Yes. Yes. If you asked me two years ago, I would've been like, fuck off.

But I just thought for a minute. But I found a heart. I think it's because of therapy. Yeah, I do want kids. Not for a minute, though. Do you only speak and understand English? I can do sign language. Oh, that's cool. I know a lot about you. I don't ask.

I don't ask. You never ask. You don't even you know, sign language isn't just like a pointy end like OK you see my hands. Yeah. I can understand Spanish so I can't really speak. No, no, no. We've gone at all places and you've wiped it out. It's like a little bit like, it's like a Spanglish that comes out in the dark and I think it's cool. I'm always like, hey, go say it.

Like when we went to Mexico and you made me go talk to customers. Yes. So yes, Alex and I will come to Dubai. You can find our just we will do that for you. OK, guys, that is it for call her daddy. This week, the trail continues. Oh. As we venture through the woods. And it's a journey and it's and the personal accounts are really going to lead you to the trail. But the trail is like starting.

And it started last week and now the trail continues and there will be surprises that it's kind of like Lent or what is it? No, no. You know, a labyrinth. No one knows. No. Oh. Twenty five days of Christmas. No. What's that? Hollander's where you poke it out. You get it. We need to get off of the microphone now. I think we're overtired. OK, I follow us on Instagram. My name's Alexandra Cooper.

I'm so fewer than in Franklin otherwise. OK, we need to go. We love you guys. We love you guys.

Talk to you guys next week. Bye, guys.