Happy Scribe
[00:00:00]

Oh, honey, baby, honey, you guys also people hate when we do that, just fucking stop. OK, ok. So honey, guys, you know the drill. It's free, free, free, motherfucking free. And that's it. And that's the drill. I have this on my computer. I have saved hundreds of dollars. Yeah. Guys, it's a browser extension that you hook up to your computer. It's going to be in the left or right hand corner.

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Get honey for free. Join Honey Dotcom slash daddy again. That is join honey dot com daddy, the lion, the witch and the broom in the Wardrobe.

[00:00:57]

It's a tale of two worlds colliding. I was in Costco. There was a broom. The hair on the broom was like a little straggly. And I was like, no one's going to pick up this broom. Little did I know it was Alex. I threw my shopping cart. Good God. Thank God we got function of beauty because she used to walk around looking like she was goddamn electrocuted, brittle to the brim.

[00:01:23]

Guys, function of beauty we talk about all the time. It literally is the best shampoo and conditioner furiously. You guys function of beauty. We don't all have the same hair. Case in point, the broom across to me. So why would we all use the same shampoo and disguise with function of beauty? You are able to customize what you're putting into your shampoo and your conditioner. So if you got highlights like I do, if you don't get highlights like Sophia, like you guys can personally customize them to whatever you want to work on for your hair, you take like a five second quiz.

[00:01:53]

Yup. And then you get sent. It's the cutest little bottles. It has your name on it. You feel rich. The bottle are so fucking cute. So, guys, if you want, you're going to get twenty percent off your purchase because we hook you the fuck up. Plus function of beauty is vegan and cruelty free and they never use sulphates, parabens, all that harmful shit. It is a function of beauty. Dotcom slash daddy for twenty percent off again.

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That is a function of beauty. Dot com slash daddy.

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Do you call him daddy. Do I call her daddy. Call her daddy. Hello.

[00:02:35]

Hello, hello.

[00:02:37]

Hello Daddy Ganguli Tor. Guten Tag Dunkerque. It is the fathers back at it again for another episode of Call her Daddy Daddy it's Alex and Sofia. I got it again. So how are you guys doing today. Good, good. OK great. Let's move. You guys can definitely answer that. OK, so today we're feeling spicy, we're feeling hot, we're feeling sexual, we're feeling extremely hot because I thought this was just like a cute little like kind of jacket, but like also but it's actually a jacket and it's scorching in the studio.

[00:03:09]

But she doesn't have anything under the jacket. Right. So I see like the sweat coming down her chin and, like, dropping into her head up y'all. So, guys, where do we begin this week? Well, Alex, I think that we should give them an update. An update? Yes. Because we had a scary weekend. But first, yes, Alex has kind of been slutting around. Oh, in the best way possible.

[00:03:31]

Tell us. Well, recently, I was laying in my bed one night and I was on Instagram and I was thinking about how, you know, I'm on dating apps. Right. But for some reason, as of recent, like, I haven't really used Instagram to get totally and I realize that's so stupid. Right. Instagram is a second form of a dating app, and we've told the dating game that. So why am I not taking my own advice?

[00:03:56]

Yeah. So one night when I was high in the clouds, I started. I feel like a lot of things happen when you're alone in your room. They do like every morning. Alex is like, dude, I got so high last night and like, these are my ideas.

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I write them down and they're all like, OK, so what I started doing is I started doing a bunch of dudes, some with blue checkmark, some with not equal opportunity, employer equal opportunity. And what happened is they started to answer, oh, what an idea right now. And so they started to answer me. And I was I think I was just shocked because I was like, holy fuck, that was pretty easy. That was so easy.

[00:04:40]

Probably easier than the whole dating now. Yeah. And in for a little bit, I was like, oh my God, what am I going to say? What do I slide in with? But once I started getting on a roll, I was just copy and pasting my side in. What was the sliding. I'm not going to tell you. Yeah, I want to give it a second because anyone out there that I'm sitting in their damn right, I just like one right right now.

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Anyways, so I started to I mean, these guys and this is not to flex its more sort of give the damaging information like a decent amount of blue check marks we're answering.

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Oh shit. And I'll Hicks is not, you know, but it was one of those moments where I was sitting there. I remember Tex you being like, why the fuck haven't we been doing this. I can attest to that because I have never write it into a guy's design. I neither have I ever. So so I've slid it on dating I but I've never stood in the DMSO guys. So I started sliding in and now I am talking to two specifically new guys that I'm like pretty excited about and I'm very excited about because guess what NORDOFF.

[00:05:44]

Oh oh that is, that's the thing. Guy shocker. So I guess girls it's not just guys sliding into like hello it's 20-20 girls slide the fucking. Yeah, just a reminder. Everyone go right in there.

[00:05:57]

OK, that's not even what we want to talk about. No, that's like the beginning of it. Yes.

[00:06:01]

If anyone follows us on Instagram, you should. Sophia Franklin. So you know Franklin, by the way. Alex Cooper. Alex with a.. Nice Cooper with us, but more so. Yeah. Yeah. Go, go. But also follow Alexandra.

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So anyway, so if you guys saw us this weekend, it looked like we were in the middle of fucking nowhere, which we were. Yes. So one of the guys that I've been talking to is is an athlete known as my. No, no, no, no. He is an art dealer. Yes. Alex has been diversifying that portfolio.

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And so he's in successful art dealer. He, like, created this app and he like wrote a book and just like, whoa, I don't even know what to do.

[00:06:42]

So I you know, I'm like, I don't know. I have a sex podcast like, no, but it's cool. It's it's different. And so not to stereotype athletes, but I just like imagine like you can have conversations with them. They're just so hot. Yeah. Yeah. And now you can have a conversation with a guy. So he's extremely intelligent. So anyway, so we've been going on a few dates. The first date we actually went on, he gave me his book and I'm like, Jesus Christ, this is a different world.

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Got a turn on or turn off.

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It was hot. It was hot, hot being really hot.

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So I was just I think I don't even know how it really came about, but I was talking about how Sofia and I, like, never get out of the city together. And the art dealer has a other house, like in upstate New York. And he was like, oh, well, no one's using the house. Would you and Sofia could go to my house. And I was like, that sounds so cool. Like, get out of the city, like venture forward.

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So I threw the idea out to Sofia. And Sofia was like, absolutely, let's do it. Yeah. So we started the weekend by going to rent a car. And if you guys know we live in New York City, so Sophie and I rarely ever drive. So we had to decide who was going to drive. And I regret it to this moment. I let Sofia drive. The thing is, I'm a good driver. No, you're not.

[00:07:48]

Yes, I am. I driven an hour. And how long? I don't know. But I was a little rusty. So, Sophia, get behind the wheel of three minutes in. We almost hit twelve buses. Sofia is swerving, gliding into lanes. And I see this she's drama. Don't listen to if you didn't even check your rearview mirrors. Anyways, we got pretty safely and so far fairly efficiently. So we get the OK. Yeah.

[00:08:12]

So we drive up there, we get to the house. The house was dope. It has all these windows and it's Yeah. Cool and yes. Living your it it was cool. So let's explain the how. OK, this is not a regular house. I think we need to establish to get to the house. We had to kind of like off road a little bit swerving winding road through my eyes.

[00:08:36]

It was just a little creepy looking. There was a abandoned house shed and like fucking water tower on the way there. Yeah. To get to the house. It was a journey. I didn't feel like we had passed civilization. It was a journey through the Blair Witch Project movie. It looks like that which he hadn't warned us about. So you're like, oh, look what's going on. We finally get there. We drive up to the house.

[00:09:02]

It looks beautiful. We're like, oh, my God, this is exciting for us and our retreat, our retreat. So we get in the house and it's set up very differently than a normal house, though.

[00:09:15]

For example, there are multiple levels. Yeah. But on the different levels, you can look down onto the level below. Yeah. There's like balconies attached to room. Yes, there are windows that look into other rooms.

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Yes, there was. I think this was maybe the most interesting. There was a Jacuzzi and I'm using quotation marks because they ended up being a bathtub that was located on top of the master bedroom that you could access through a spiral staircase. And with the Jacuzzi, it was on kind of like a balcony that you can look down into the bedroom. Yes, and then you can go down the spiral staircase and from the master bedroom, you can enter a library which enters down into the art gallery.

[00:10:06]

It reminded me of the Winchester mystery house. I have no idea what that is because, you know, if that is it scary, terrifying. Why would I ever know about it? Let me just talk about what it is quickly if I'm going to get scared.

[00:10:18]

I know it's this house. It's located in California. I think Northern California built so long ago by this crazy woman. Her husband invented the rifle and killed like an insane amount of Native Americans. And so she was so paranoid that they were going to be like spirits coming after her because her husband did that. She built this house, the Winchester mystery house. You can go visit it. I'm not going to think you feel like we're going to go.

[00:10:44]

Actually, never. Alex is biting her. I'm getting nervous.

[00:10:48]

There are stairways that just lead to a wall.

[00:10:52]

There are like there are stairways that will just lead to like a room that goes into a room. There are doors that open to a wall that's fucking terrified. And the construction workers building it had to carry a map with them so they wouldn't get lost in a hole like it's. So kind of like where we were staying. So, guys, Winchester mystery. So anyway, so basically we get to the house and in the daytime it was super cool.

[00:11:16]

I felt so confident and strong during the day. Yes, I was like, I've got this, I've got this is fun. Yes. Even me, I was like, this will then come nighttime, nightfall, nightfall. I go into my room, Alex is in her room, and then I yell out, I'm like, Alex, are you kind of scared? And Alex all of a sudden fucking shows up with her mattress in my room.

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I was sitting in my room, guys like I don't want her to know I'm scared. And if I verbalize I'm scared, then all of a sudden it's real. Right. I'm sitting in my room and it's time to go to bed and I'm freaking the fuck out. And I just knew there's no fucking way I'm going by myself. None. We have a sleepover. And I just want to point out that the door to the master bedroom that we were staying in had a bolt on it.

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Yes. On top of just a regular lock. Yes. And I don't want to like, you know, justify justifier paranoia. But why? But why is there a bolt. Yeah. To a bedroom door. So we left early. We left early and we booked it home. And I'm ashamed but also not ashamed because I saved our lives that day when I decided that we should go home because I know something was about. And then we barely made it home and Sophia decided to go up an exit ramp and we basically almost crashed and burned and died.

[00:12:35]

Worst driver in America. That's not fair. I'm a little rusty. Yeah, I don't drive. Yeah. It's also not fair to put the passenger in harm's way like you did to me. So I got us back to the rental place in one piece. We got back to the city, we went home and then Sophia ventured off to suit man's opinion. And the terror continues. The terror continues and not in the way that you guys think in a different way.

[00:13:03]

We didn't have service while we were up there. Right. I'm sure that added to why we were scared. Yeah, absolutely. So I'm a go ahead and say that was justifiable. Yeah, I agree. Anyways, we didn't have service, so I barely spoke to Soup Man while I was there. And before I left for the trip he was in L.A., which is already an issue, not in a scary way, but in a scary way, because the girls in L.A. are so hot and they are all trying to suck his dick.

[00:13:30]

I don't know if that's happening, but like, that's just what I come up with. Am I right? You're right. So I hadn't seen Superman in forever and we hadn't been talking as regularly.

[00:13:38]

Right. So I came home and I had anxiety and I was like, well, why are you having anxiety about that?

[00:13:44]

Right. A, he couldn't get a hold of you. So you're the one that went on the trip. Right. But I think it's because in the past, when my boyfriends have gone, MIA, it's because they've been balls deep in another girl's pussy cheating on me.

[00:13:58]

So sad. So or because they like their being dead a little too much GMT and maybe tried heroin and the like would go into a coma for a few days. Right. And like all while probably cheating too. Yeah. In that coma. Yes. Right. So, so naturally. Well you're the one that goes amea you still feel uncomfortable that because I mean what are they doing. While I might guess because my trust issues I tell him have not been resolved right yet and it's not fair.

[00:14:29]

No, no. So I got to suit Manz and I was already just having a little bit of anxiety. Nothing to do with him, only to my trust issues. I walk into the bedroom and I'm like, something's different. Something's different in this room. I couldn't pinpoint it.

[00:14:49]

I text Alex and I'm like, I just got to Superman's, I think his bedroom just looks a little off in hindsight, guys, his bedroom was exactly the same bedroom.

[00:15:02]

Everything was perfect. Maybe, you know, he moved a sock from one drawer to another. But I'm just trying to point out that, like, that was just me in my head and my crazy neuroses because I am an erotic person with trust issues like his room was the same, the same. But I just had a moment where I freaked out, you know? Absolutely.

[00:15:24]

So I brought it up to him that I mean, that's just another story for another day. He's probably going to leave me any moment. He's like, you're constantly thinking, I'm cheating. Even when I'm sitting here, you're like, take that blanket off of your lap. Is there a girl under there sucking your dick like you are out of control? Right. Right. So I texted Alex, though, and I say, Alex, I just got to Superman's and I went into his room.

[00:15:50]

I just think it looks different and tell me I'm being crazy. And Alex responds and I'm thinking, you know, she's going to like, tell me, Sofia, you're crazy. Stop. And she goes, Yeah, I'm sorry, but I think it is kind of weird.

[00:16:06]

Like, if you feel that vibe in that room is a little shifted that I bet it's fucking shifted.

[00:16:10]

People don't get what we're saying. Oh, I'm laughing because the only reason Alex answered that way is because she's fucking crazy, too, because while Sofia was in the heat of the moment, feeling paranoid trust issue levels, being like, hey, Al, hey, big guy, I'm feeling a little insecure. I was dealing with it on my own end. So when Sofia texted me, I'm like, absolutely disgusting because listen to this. I said, you absolutely have every right to think that something shipped in that room.

[00:16:42]

Also, look at this picture of the same guy, say, oh, no, that's not a joke.

[00:16:48]

No, no, I it Alex does respond, saying, actually, I think it is weird. And then she sends me a picture of salmons and I'm like, hey girl, you cook tonight. He Kolob like, is she going to tell me the coronavirus with fucking spread by salmon and not that I'm like, what? Opening the Canadian is back in full force and the Canadian and I were very on and off some weeks. We don't speak the next week.

[00:17:14]

It's like marriage. The Canadians are back on and the Canadian is being all like, oh my God, I'm coming to the East Coast soon. Like, this is amazing. Like joking that he wants to come meet my family. Like lots is happening. He sends me a picture of salmon. Yeah. And I look at the plate of salmon and there was too much fucking salmon on the plate for it to be for one person. And he said he was cooking.

[00:17:36]

Yeah. For who. For who. For he said he was alone and he said he was cooking for who else. So I sent it to Sofia and I said and I just kept it vague. Just this silly of salmon look like it would be for one person. Yes. To which you said no. I said he's meal prepping. I said because I was really first going to be like be the voice of reason when Alex Kinnon. Right.

[00:18:00]

I said, is he meal prep? I said, Canadian does not meal prep. At that point.

[00:18:06]

I looked at the salmon.

[00:18:08]

I did a full look around and I was like, even if you were starving, there are two pieces there that are just fucking extra. They're just I don't think you have the munchies. I don't care what the queen was doing. Too much salmon, salmon, overflow, overflow. And I'm sorry there had to have been a girl with him. And the thing is, is you guys are like you bitches are so crazy. And yes. Yes, we are justifiably.

[00:18:40]

Yeah. Why? No, no, no, no, no. Guys, it wasn't a salmon. It wasn't suit me and own being different. It was our trust issues that are carrying over from past relationships into these. And we were just annoyed. Yeah. For no fucking reason. I literally was like soup man. Go ahead, rearrange your entire fucking apartment because I'm out.

[00:19:05]

I didn't we had an argument. He was like, I feel bad for you, that you literally your issues are this bad, God damn. And I was like, all right, I feel bad anyway. Me too. I'm gonna start going to therapy. Will you already go. I already go and you. But I'm really just bring up double it up. Yes. I'll believe all sessions stitch fix guys. We want you guys to look amazing when you go on your dates.

[00:19:29]

Men and women, you don't want to be showing up in fucking khakis. We don't want you showing up at the pirate boots women. No, it's just not a good look. OK, no. And it's not like Alex and I are, you know, fashionistas by any means. That's why Stitch Fix helps so much. If you don't have a stylist and you can't afford one like most of us, stitch fix is the answer. Yeah. Guys, basically, you're getting a personal styling service that delivers your favorite clothing, shoes and accessories directly to you.

[00:19:54]

There's a bunch of well-known brands on this website. Guys, after you complete your style profile online, your expert personal stylist will send you a handpicks box of items based on your style and preference so you can look hot as shit. There is no subscription required. Shipping exchanges and returns are always free. FRSC and the twenty dollars filing fee is automatically applied towards anything you keep from the box. Guys, this is available in the U.S. and now the UK.

[00:20:22]

OK, so you guys are going to. To stitch, fix dot com slash daddy for 25 percent off again, that is stitch fix, dot com slash daddy.

[00:20:32]

So we have not done it.

[00:20:35]

Questions episode in a very long time.

[00:20:37]

There's a lot of people reaching out. There's a lot of chaos going on in the world. Coronavirus shitstorm, eye popping off. Everyone just watch this case in New York just happened recently and I care if I were never gonna leave our apartment.

[00:20:49]

But the thing is, is everyone is asking those questions recently more than usual. And we're like, we got to give to the daddy, give back, give back, give back that advice that people are like, I will never take that advice we want.

[00:21:01]

Advice is usually so know this week, I swear, like, I feel like there's shit that's going to come out. I mean, that's like healthy. I agree. So with that motherfucking being sad Chalke Jihad Sorina Travolta. It's motherfucking question to the Darod mother. Fuck you. OK, questions. Oh so we'll survive. Guys, I'm actually going to leave right now. Guys, these guys are actually getting I seriously fucking love it. OK, questions of the week, bitches.

[00:21:37]

Let's get it over.

[00:21:38]

Oh, maybe me. OK, because I just feel like I have a lot to offer. You're just ready. I'm ready. Warmed up, without question. I'm ready. OK, this is a really fucking good one. OK. Father's.

[00:21:53]

Would you ever consider fucking a guy that you're not attracted to? He's a good friend of mine and I'm in a dry spell. So judgment is out the window to paint a picture. He is five five and I'm five seven. He's balding and just overall, not good looking, but there's nothing like breaking a no sex curse, like easing into it with someone familiar and that you don't really have to be insecure about. Am I crazy?

[00:22:19]

I have the best answer.

[00:22:22]

I love when you say that I can lean back, relax and let you make it.

[00:22:26]

So one of my friends has been hooking up with a guy that she has zero attracted to, OK? She was kind of in a dry spell and she decided to do the same thing. Got it. She's shown me pictures and he's not, you know, Brad Pitt, right? He's actually maybe a four or below. OK, thank you.

[00:22:47]

Anyways, they've been fucking and she told me it is the best sex of her life.

[00:22:52]

Shut the fuck up. Best sex of her life. Oh, my God. And I was like, oh, like he's got some moves. Like it's not that big. They're amazing. And she said, no, I think it's because I go into having sex with him, feeling zero pressure whatsoever. I don't need to worry if I look hot. I feel so fucking comfortable with him like all my inhibitions are out the window. And she said, I have an orgasm every single time I have sex with him, when usually she's like, that's not the case.

[00:23:22]

And usually we would call girls out there like I have an orgasm every time your friends are fucking lying to you. No, no, no. She tells me she's like, oh, I definitely don't come every time. But with this fucking ugly ass, big ugly ass, big nasty guy, Steve, she's coming all the time, that is. And it makes sense. We I think Daddy Inglis in the fuck up because I think this is actually kind of a brilliant breakthrough right now.

[00:23:45]

We have talked about in episodes how guys like sometimes to fuck a five or a six because they can go in there and they can smash her head through a wall and they can he can control the fucking cum rag on to her belly and be like, I'm going to turn around and like, abracadabra, you better be gon climb out the fucking window. And yes, we're on the fourth floor, but figure it out. So we have talked about men wanting to fuck, kind of less attractive in their mind, girls, because they can be just like so filthy and, like, disgusting and just go for it and just get there not and not worry about the girls now.

[00:24:28]

And we've never talked about the opposite of girls going to fuck less attractive guys to them to get their nut. And I think it's because women are different and a little bit and obviously not all women, but most women need to be a little bit mentally stimulated by a man and physically attracted to the man in order to get off no longer no longer hold, no longer daddy gang.

[00:24:51]

If you're a girl and you want to come fucking pick the ugliest of the litter, the little runt and fuck, maybe not like like you're disgusting, OK? Like I like I call me like you could call me Downsview but just give them a chance. Are you not that attractive.

[00:25:07]

I agree. OK. Wow. OK s.o.s help daddies. The guys. I'm the guys. I think she wants that guy. I'm currently fucking loves buttholes.

[00:25:20]

I hope I oh I can't take, I can take a hot nude French ass shot bent over rubbing my clit shot anything. But he wants close ups of my asshole which I just find so unsexy. Any new tips on butthole shorts and how to make them hot. Fuck. Whoa. This is a first. This is the first. I have not heard this before. I did. I see it man.

[00:25:49]

He said personally he wouldn't find it hot so I don't know how common it is, but part of me could kind of see how it's hot. Right.

[00:25:56]

Like especially the guys that really like anal.

[00:26:00]

I agree. Actually something just came to me. I agree. We're going to sit here and be like, oh, like that's scary. Is it hot? Is it not? This man, like, is telling you he like. Yeah. So almost pretend it's your fucking pussy. Like you would be sending normal nudes of your pussy. Yeah. Into the asshole. So you being timid. Don't be. He's literally saying that this thing so fucking take pictures of your asshole and we get is holding back.

[00:26:27]

Stop holding the asshole. Munching, Don't clench release, let that shit go and wow, what a metaphor for life. No, I think like embrace it because I know guys are gross and when we think we're being dirty, they are even thinking dirtier. I'm going to assume he wants her bent over or like ass cheeks spread, right? Yeah. Do that. You could put a toy in your eyeball. You really love that. And if you really, like, want to hit him with something different, if you so obsessed with assholes, maybe get your asshole.

[00:27:00]

I thought about I have to we should talk about that. But also don't if you don't want rain, I'm your girlfriend. Yeah, I agree. Don't do it here being like go get it every girl. Go get your asshole. No, I think that's a good point. I think giving a little bit of that will give them that hope. Not a. OK, OK. Onto the next.

[00:27:20]

This was written by a man. Hmm. What's up, Daddy? I'm going to get right into it. This girl and I have been on seven dates or so. How do I figure out if she's just using me for a meal ticket? We haven't had sex. She's offered to pay once. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem paying. But not to even offer I think is odd. Maybe also, I don't think we've had sex yet because she says I'd be her second and she broke up with her ex a year ago.

[00:27:48]

She's 22 and I'm 29. So I tend to be older women, so I'm in unchartered territory. Please feel free to have this on the podcast. Whatever. Help a brother out. I like this girl too, but I need to know if I'm getting played while gillnet. Yeah, that's really interesting.

[00:28:05]

So the whole thing about paying for meals on. Yeah. I think whatever you think is right. I think you should do if you think it should be as the woman. Yeah. Because I know some women are like it's twenty twenty. Like we are going yeah. You and I are so fucking lewdly. Not, that's not how I feel. You pay and you pay and they'll give you the pussy. Kind of mooches, we are mooches, but like tell me you wouldn't be turned off if a guy on a first date wanted to split the bill with oh my God, on a first date.

[00:28:38]

But they've been on seven even that even. Yeah, I would honestly. Yeah, but OK. He's saying that they haven't even had sex. Yeah. So it's not so much about who's going to pay for the meal. It's like they've been on seven dates and she hasn't fucked him. Yeah.

[00:28:52]

I can prove this by actually this my piss girls off but I kind of think seven is a lot. Yeah. And I think that that is strange.

[00:29:04]

And is it fucked up that I think he should be like are we fucking or not urinal or not like that on the weekend. Yeah. Or Na or na. Right.

[00:29:16]

Yeah. I actually totally agree. Here's one thing. If she's blowing his dick and she's like showing signs that sex is coming. Yeah. Because I've gone past seven dates with a guy and not fucked him. Yeah. I think this is different, but I think I've put a dick in my mouth like I think I, I am sure you have. So I think that I don't think it's weird that she hasn't offered to pay. However, if she's younger and you're like worried that she's using you, what I would say is stop taking that bitch to fucking dinner.

[00:29:49]

Oh, that's great. All of a sudden now you're done with the day to wine and dine this bitch. You're not getting laid. You're literally not getting laid. Why do you keep going on dates? So what you should say to her is next time she's trying to hang out with you. Perfect. Yeah. Come over Netflix and chill. I was about to say obviously don't ask her. Are we fucking or not? No, but I think that you should set up a date that's at home and you guys are watching a movie.

[00:30:14]

I think you should try to make the moves on her. Yeah. And if she tries to stop you, I think you should have a conversation. I do too. And maybe if you're like, yeah, you can come over and like, we'll order in and watch a movie. You literally pull up your Uber eats and like you're like, oh, I'm going to get like Italian tonight. Where are you going to get kind of being like, oh, what are you ordering?

[00:30:34]

You're up over there because I'm not fucking paying for your shit, bitch. You thought that would be so amazing? Obviously don't do that. But how good. Yes. Yeah, but make a move on her. And if she's like, no, no, I think you should ask her. Yeah, I. Are we ever going to have sex. Yeah. Are we. Actually don't ask her. She'll say yes. I think we've hit a moment in time where we you need to fucking take your pants off.

[00:31:02]

But kind of I kind of, I mean as a girl I was on seven dates and the guy wouldn't fuck me. I'd be like, what are we doing, what are we doing? That would never happen in the history of America, probably because guys just can't sit and nothing.

[00:31:14]

OK, some girl wrote in and was like, all right, I have an issue.

[00:31:19]

My gynecologist told me to avoid having sex with people who have big dicks. What? Apparently I have small reproductive organs and it'll cause damage. Although I love a little gut rearranging, I don't want to fuck up my organs. How should I go about telling guys this? I want them to be a little careful when pounding me.

[00:31:43]

Oh, is this real? A guy's dick can't fuck your organs. Hold on. But maybe I don't even want to give advice because she's like receiving medical advice from a doctor. Oh, true. But that sounds strange. First of all, I would love to ask the gynecologist what is big weight. Yeah. Oh yeah. If you're going to go ahead and tell me that. Give me inches. Yeah. The guy knows, like every time that guy whips his fucking dick out, you got to fucking measure it and make sure he hits that requirement because baby girl girlfriend, if it's eight and above, tell him you can't.

[00:32:14]

You can't medically, medically. All right. Your doctor.

[00:32:17]

So she's like actually she goes with the doctors.

[00:32:22]

No, they can't can't like the night. No, I think that is really, really interesting.

[00:32:27]

Anyone in the medical field, please write in and tell us if that's the sort of thing or just be like, yeah, fuck me. Like, kind of it's just like the tip that I go happy because no how we always talk about small dicks for the win sometimes because they can hit your spot in a different way. Maybe just make sure they're not going fully in. Right. Except when he gets super excited and all of sudden he rolls in there and it's like, oh yeah, I don't know.

[00:32:51]

No, I think that's a great point. Have him do just the tip. I think that can be hot. And then, you know, it's not like he's going to fuck up your throat.

[00:32:59]

Oh, Savage for sure. It comes savage in the meet. Take that shit to the back of your throat, sweetheart. Wow.

[00:33:08]

Wow, that's really interesting. We're going to do a little swerve, OK, swerve on them hoes. And I think this can help a lot of people, including me. OK, I like social media and I like my friends on social media, but it also terrifies me.

[00:33:25]

I never take a pic that is good enough for the gram and I find myself. Getting so insecure when I go to post, I'm a seven on a scale from one to 10, I have a couple decent looking posts. I just don't get a lot of good pictures. What's the bare minimum I should keep on my insta if I'm not a regular poster? Wow.

[00:33:47]

Coming from obviously someone that does not regularly post, I actually should not be giving advice on it because I suck at it too. I totally know what she's talking about. I do get anxiety when I, I'm about to post.

[00:34:00]

I think that is really interesting because my entire life I have not thought twice when I'm posting like you see me, I post all the time and I don't know if well I think you've noticed, but maybe other people don't notice. But like as of recent months, I feel like on my actual page posting pictures, I haven't posted as much. Yeah. And I guess I just. Is it because you started to get excited. Yeah. Oh, wow.

[00:34:27]

And I think that there is something about today's culture with social media that everyone is expected to have this like Instagram face, like we literally see girls getting surgery to, like, literally change their face to look like filters. I posted an article. It's called The Instagram Phase. I think it was published in The New York Times or something. You guys should check it out. Yeah.

[00:34:49]

So girls specifically have this, like, overwhelming pressure to look exactly like the girls they see on social media. And it can be crippling and it's anxiety driven. And you don't want to look to think, but you want to look natural. You can't look too natural because then you're not hot enough. First of all, Photoshop, half of the reason girls are constantly posting pictures where they look beautiful is because they are really good with Photoshop.

[00:35:14]

They're so good at Photoshop. Girls can take a picture where they look ugly and because they're using Photoshop, they will upload it looking like it's literally a ten. So it's almost like, wow, maybe if I was super good at Photoshop, which I'm not right, I would post more.

[00:35:28]

It's literally like what we're seeing on the Internet is just fake. And so it's hard to like want to post a selfie where I'm like, oh, I do have a blemish. They're like, do I post it or what? So I think with that said, yes, the thing is, is I think because Instagram has become so fucking fake.

[00:35:46]

Yeah, I have noticed this thing where girls are now posting pictures with a blemish. Yeah. With cellulite with stretchmarks because that is almost more attractive now because guys and girls can tell when they go to a girl's page and every single picture they look perfect. Yeah. And I am totally one of those people that I've never posted a picture with, like a blemish.

[00:36:10]

Right. Right.

[00:36:11]

So and so I think for what she's asking is how many I don't think you need to be posting regularly.

[00:36:19]

I need to have, though, a certain amount of pictures that when someone goes to your page, they're not like, why are there five photos?

[00:36:25]

And also and the last one she posted was like in 2015. What the fuck does she look like now? I think try once a month.

[00:36:32]

I think once a month or even you could do like once every two months and then just make sure your page has enough pictures that you don't sound like a catfish. I agree. OK, this girl wrote in and she said, how do I stop being a complete crazy bitch to my boyfriend when I'm drunk?

[00:36:50]

Hella Well, he has cheated on me before and I think I resent him for that. And it just comes out when I get drunk. I have major trust issues and I got to tone it down on the drinking so I don't blackout.

[00:37:02]

But I but I just don't know how to fix this. These questions are hitting home and I don't like it. I don't like it at all. All right. So there is a couple of things happening here. But let's first address the fact that her boyfriend has cheated in the past. She decided to stay with him and she's trying to have a healthy relationship. But every time she's getting drunk, every day is coming out to the bottle. She's like, remember when you cheated on me?

[00:37:26]

And he's like, you promised you'd let that go. And she's like, But I just want you to like, remember, like, letters, like, I'm not even fighting. I just want him fighting. I just think, like, why did you do it? I'm just saying I just remember, like, memory lane, babe, like we're just reminiscing on the times that you parked my best fucking pour me a shot. Fuck you. So from a basic level of drinking and getting mad at a guy, I can so fucking relate.

[00:37:55]

Oh my God. I lived, I would say five years of my life, just every time. Yes. It was like, fine if I had two glasses of wine and once I hit the third it was like, oh wow.

[00:38:12]

We are about to talk about every single fucking thing you've ever done. Let's go.

[00:38:17]

Let's go. Get ready. Yeah, it is. And this is the reason, I think, why drinking you really have to mature in your drinking because like I remember in college in the very beginning of. College, like I was so trigger finger fucking happy with sending text to the guys I was talking to and I would drink and it was like, Alex, when I would wake up, I'm like, you just fucking ruined it all. You're a piece of shit.

[00:38:41]

Why do you do that?

[00:38:43]

It is hard when you drink to not get in your feels and to not get emotional fucks with your emotions, obviously. So what I was going to say for this girl is and really for anybody that gets cheated on. Yeah. If you decide that you want to forgive the person, you got to give yourself a lot of time and maybe therapy or whatever you want to do and really forgive that person before you get back into the relationship.

[00:39:11]

Totally. You have to let it go if you decide you're going to date them. Yeah, as fucked up as cheating is, but also like for the win, but also for not the win. Like if you get cheated on. The shitty thing is if you stay with that person, it is not really fair to then keep bringing it up throughout your relationship. You're deciding to stay with that person. You're deciding that, OK, even though you completely broke our trust and even though you completely won and you were shady behind my back and you broke my heart, if you're going to stay with them, then it's on you to decide that you're going to leave it in the past and move forward.

[00:39:47]

So the fact that you're going out and you're getting drunk and you're bringing this up to me is a bad sign of like maybe you can't. Yeah, maybe forward. Right. Maybe you can't get over it or you really need to give yourself time. Yeah. You know, and start looking at it like the month before. Yeah. No, that's true. The drinking and the blacking out, we like make jokes about it all the time. If this girl every single time she drinks is blacking out or turning into like an angry drunk.

[00:40:17]

Yeah. That could be a sign of a problem. Who am I to fucking talk it. Yeah. Yeah. But maybe go to therapy about it too.

[00:40:24]

I was going to say if you're constantly blacking out, that's not a great sign. Right and high. Yeah. It was me and I started going to therapy. I got shit under control. Yes. And it's like there's no shame behind that. But if you're constantly blacking out, you're fighting with your boyfriend. There's a lot more issues, I think, that you need to, like, get solved now, maybe take a break from drink drinking.

[00:40:45]

Yeah, guys, I think that, like and everyone in college and everything, like, obviously drinking is a part of the culture. But if you're constantly waking up in the morning and you're fucking up your life with your relationship, yes. You need to fucking settle down. Yeah, I think there are a lot of people out there that have a really hard time with knowing their limit and not taking it too far. There are some people that go out and rage and party and literally it's like you didn't have to go that far.

[00:41:11]

And did you even have fucking fun? Right. Right. And like, please, for the love of God, I do not want people to think we're preaching because literally up until a year ago, I was out of control. Yeah. So I feel you guys with that. But yes. Look at. Yeah. Contained.

[00:41:27]

Yeah. Boom. Great guys. Neum it's that time again. Time to reflect on the year that you've had and focus on your goals for the new motherfucking year. New Neum is a habit changing program that uses psychology to teach you how your mind works. You can understand why you make the decisions you make. You little degenerates neum can be used for any goal that you have established for yourself. OK, if you want to eat better, if you want to feel better and have more energy, self care, feeling confident, literally, whatever your goal is, Neum helps you have healthier habits and put them in place.

[00:42:01]

Neum is based in psychology. OK, Neum teaches you why you do the things you do and empowers you with the right tools to break the bad habits and replace them with better ones. Over 80 percent of Newman finished the program and over 60 percent have stuck with their goals for at least one year. If you guys are interested, you are going to go to Neum dot com slash daddy and is in Nancy. It was an orgasm is an orgasm.

[00:42:29]

Amazon moning neum neum dot com Baghdadi. OK, a boy wrote in a boy. Oh boy, oh baby boy.

[00:42:39]

He said, hey, hard to write this, but I have a question. Hmm. When I was a kid, I used to ride Steer's. I don't really know what that means and got stepped on and ended up losing a testicle. OK, I've always been self-conscious and try to always leave a girl satisfied, studied Kamasutra. But I want your opinion. Do I need to get over my self-consciousness or am I justified? So he's missing a ball, but he can still come and everything.

[00:43:09]

Yeah, well, I think that's great. I think we I really think no, I don't mean girls give us shit at all because half the girls don't even like, look at the balls or touch the balls or lick the balls or do anything with balls. Yes.

[00:43:19]

And have you ever hooked up with a guy that only had one? No, I haven't. But I really don't think girls give a shit today. But I really want to know about. I don't think girls give a shit at all, if I were you, I think that could almost be like one of your lines that you use on your date or something. No, I'm not kidding. Like, that is it's a classic knot defense mechanism, but that people are insecure about things.

[00:43:45]

If you're the first one to throw the joke, then you own it and it's yours. And no one can feel uncomfortable when she goes down on you. And it's not this like unsaid thing like IRA. You look, we always say fake it till you make it like that's not something to be embarrassed about.

[00:43:58]

Alex, I totally think you're you have a point, because first of all, if a guy has something going on, I would rather he tell me in the beginning than when I'm about to, like, put his dick in. Right. And then like that it's scary. And also, if you're like, why is there is there am I missing a ball? Where is what's going on? Yeah. And also, if you bring it up and you are a funny about it and be confident about it, that's great because it's not OK.

[00:44:24]

It's one thing if you're like my dick doesn't work, right. So you're just have to go without sex or oh I never ejaculate. Like it's like OK, there's one less ball. Great girls don't care. That's perfect. Now she can put the whole thing in her mouth and it will be easy. OK, great. Here we go.

[00:44:39]

OK, this is going to be really quick. I just need to address it. OK, we have talked about high waisted bikinis.

[00:44:48]

Men don't like them disgusting and girls have gotten really upset. So they've sent me death threats in their little fucking ugly high waisted bikini. And I'm like, I can see why you want to give me a death threat. Oh, good God. Look at what you're wearing.

[00:45:04]

Right. This question. So the high waisted bikinis and pants thing, does it apply to underwear?

[00:45:13]

I was hooking up with this guy for a while who thought high waisted underwear was absolutely the hottest thing. That might have just been a him thing, though, because he also liked looking out of windows during sex.

[00:45:26]

OK, is that a thing? I'd love your input. Also love the show hashtag game.

[00:45:32]

I think we can get rid of the window thing I've never heard of. I don't think. Can we just ignore the window throwing me all of them, like I've never had a guy that's like, no, I can't fucking remember why he's like the windows not accessible. I got to shift. I know claustrophobia does he stuck his head out or just look to see like there needs to just be a window in case he needs an exit. Like I don't.

[00:45:54]

Let's just forget that.

[00:45:55]

OK, the highways. The thing though, OK, I was sitting next to Superman when I was reading this. I was like, I have a guy right next to me. I'm going to fucking send this question his way. Right. I asked about the high waisted bikini because I just needed confirmation. He said they're disgusting. Gusting. I brought up the high waisted pants, which I wear regularly. He said disgusting.

[00:46:22]

Oh, sure. You're like I like, look down and I'm wearing fucking pants up to my tits. I was like, so why didn't you ever bring that one? Oh, by I think so touchy like and it's so sad because those are the moments where you're like, oh wow. Like it's she's so happy I'm bringing this up because he's been trying to tell me not to wear these pants. And he's like, thank God she's fucking asking those are you guys.

[00:46:46]

Magin if he started his answer with I am so glad you brought up through like I'm going to take them off right now. OK, so he thinks, OK, I'm starting to but like, our love can prevail. Right. You know, like throughout every pair. Right. Right, right. He said high waisted pants.

[00:47:03]

Gross again girls, I am just relaying the info. If you want to keep dressing like that, do it. I probably went right where we're right.

[00:47:11]

Not with a bikini though. No.

[00:47:12]

Whenever I asked him about the underwear he said, is it a thong in the back? I said, I'm going to go ahead and guess no. He said, well then fuck no. And I was like, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. He's saying high waisted to a guy. They don't even know what high waisted. Right, right. You got to show like evidential pictures. Yes. I pull up pictures. OK, he said I guess if they are completely see through or lace and like kind of the butt cheek is hanging out below, it's fine.

[00:47:44]

But that was still him pretty much being like, no. OK, so I am going to guess most men do not like the high waisted treadmill's hunter is literally said, get the fuck out of my face with those fucking shit. And we're like, oh, those shit. Those shit's disgusting. So high waisted. Yes. If it's a full blown thong in the back. Right. But aside from that, most guys don't like it. OK, I just want to say that on call her daddy.

[00:48:14]

We are not sitting here telling women because I know we're going to get DMZ people being like, I don't dress for men. I feel confident on the beach with my high waisted bikini. So fuck you guys, that is fine if you are going to the beach and. You want to have fun with your girlfriend and you know, you're fine with every man on the beach looking at you like, hey, there's a girl with a diaper on, then fine.

[00:48:39]

But what we are saying is men do not think they are attractive. No. If you don't care about that, then wear them till you die and rock them and post them. But anyway, celibacy for the rest of your life because you fucked up. But no, we are just here to let you know what is fucking bull and what is not. And I'm telling you girls from the bottom of my heart, I have had days where you think, I mean to get in a fucking low wasted little thong bikini, get the fuck out of my face.

[00:49:12]

No high a one piece and one piece of fucking high one. You can have side boob one pieces. You can have a thong. One piece like you can look so hot in a fucking one. So don't fucking come at me and tell me that high waisted is hotter than one pieces because every man in my life that I have asked has said one piece over high waisted diaper.

[00:49:31]

Yes, I just went off. But no, that's great. And this is the last thing I'm going to add. OK, I talk to my really good friend who's a guy, and I asked him why not only do you guys think it's unflattering on the ass, he said, I assume those girls are trying to hold in their fucking bellies. Oh, can I just assume that all of that is them using it to, like, keep it cinched and sucked in?

[00:49:59]

It's almost like high waisted commas to men as a catfish even. Yes. Even though it's not like, you know, you could be wearing high waisted. You can be like totally fine and confident with your body man for some reason. See high waisted. And they think, oh, she's what is she high. What is she hiding. I have been bloated before and been like I gots to wear some high waisted J.

[00:50:21]

It's fine. We're just relaying the message. Yes, we're playing really really day and good night. Good night.

[00:50:26]

OK, so if you guys remember the most, one of the I think it was one of the most iconic stories you just told last week was of the NBA player telling the girl to shut the fuck up after they just had sex and calling his baby mama and pretending like there was no one in the room. Less of a story. More of a nightmare.

[00:50:45]

Nightmare. Yeah. Horror story.

[00:50:47]

We have another kind of like updated version of fucking great, great girls and men.

[00:50:53]

Listen up, because now I want to fucking try this. This girl wrote in and she said I was dating a guy who did that dreaded FaceTime thing once, too.

[00:51:05]

Oh, it was three a.m. and he faced timed me to tell me that he was going to bed, but I knew something was up. So instead of hanging up, I covered the screen so the FaceTime would appear all black on his end. From there, he thought I had hung up and just threw his phone down. But I was still very much watching and listening. He started talking to his friends in the room about how he was meeting up with some girl to fuck her, literally right after I had quote unquote, hung up.

[00:51:41]

Horrifying.

[00:51:43]

OK, that is so terrifying, said dude. It's kind of like when we've talked about, like, leaving your air pods in the room and then walking out and listening through them. Like, I think a lot of people's biggest fears is like hearing what's being said about you when you're not supposed to write a fucking voicemail. I heard from those people like shit is fucking scary. The fact that she was brilliant enough to just cover the screen.

[00:52:07]

I am really at a loss for words. Right, because I could see that working right. Especially if you're the one that like you usually do the hanging up or if they do the hanging right, you don't really pay that much attention sometimes unless he was literally going to go use his phone right away. And then he's like, I see, I'm still on FaceTime, but if he just puts his phone down, is like, yo, I'm going to fuck this girl, right?

[00:52:32]

Oh, my God. The thing is, there's no harm in trying no harm. No, just see if he hangs up or not, if you're fucking in it to win it. And if he comes back to his phone, he's like, you weirdo, you're going to be like, be polite, you.

[00:52:45]

Hello. And then you grab your phone. You're like, oh my God, I know I do this thing. Oh, no clue. I mean, I'm going to try this even though I know Stutman isn't doing anything. Absolutely.

[00:52:58]

It's not our fault we are sluts.

[00:53:01]

A girl wrote in Speak for yourself. There is apparently a slut gene called the DRDO for Gene. It determines how our bodies respond to dopamine, which makes the person more likely to have more sex and more likely to cheat. Oh, I must. I knew. Must have that fucking gene down for generations. We can't help it, but we hause Exalogic.

[00:53:27]

So love y'all. So, guys, if you ever get caught cheating, there you go. The fact that there's one thing for her to say, that this is what makes you like slutty, horny. It's another thing she's like and that's why we that's it. We cheat. That's the exact reason we cheat, because we are. So we're we're horny as fuck. We have this gene. Is this a thing? Oh, well, let's all get tested.

[00:53:49]

Let's all get tested again. And we hopefully get all tested positive so that we have an explanation as to why we cheat and why we are whores. Yeah. And also, if you do test for negative, just say you're fucking Duchesse. And that's probably the only time will ever tell you to get tested and lie and say you're positive if you come back fucking negative. That's the show for this week. Ladies and gentlemen, call her daddy. Another episode, another time and another trail.

[00:54:13]

Another trail. And the trail is, you know, just chugging along and it's getting close.

[00:54:19]

Guys, yeah, we can't really say much, but the trail is the trail and the trail is the trail and you'll see what it is soon.

[00:54:26]

So we love you guys. Follow us on our personal Instagram, the trail. That's where it will be. Alexandra Cooper. So feel enough, Frank, frankly, we love you guys.

[00:54:36]

Will see you around town. Goodbye.