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Do you call him daddy? Do I call her daddy, call her daddy. What's up, guys?

It's Alex and Sofia. We're back on the track this week, and we're just giving you a few tunes for your morning commute this morning and just raise that volume to get your metal panel to get that pedal to the metal folks cruising to that left lane and drive.

We're hitting you right now with what's called the call. We're here. We're here, guys. Hey, it's Åland. Row, row, row your boat. Gently down the stream. The trail stopping the trail is coming. Life is bad. Hello, folks. The trail is coming. Just sit back, relax and enjoy the motherfucking show. Stick with us. But it will be coming soon anyways.

Anyways, there's a little story that people have been wondering about we've never discussed.

And it's the fact that Alex and her ex-boyfriend dated for, I don't know, however many years. Right. And then you guys did not speak to each other for however many years between and then all of a sudden random. You guys are talking again and people want to know, how did you guys start talking? Yeah. How is that old flame rekindled? How was that past brought to the present? How is that seed grown into a tree?

How was that relationship killed and then nourished? How was it killed and then brought back to life? And I'm here to tell you. And how did it happen? So can I can you say that in English? Because I don't know what that was. We're just discussing how Alex and her ex-boyfriend started talking again, because let me remind you, the breakup wasn't pretty. No, quite the opposite.

Really bad. Your mental health is really horrifying.

So not a good breakup.

And then so how did you guys start talking again? So we matched on a dating app.

Dude, it's so fucking funny when I say it, it's really crazy. It's a funny story. I'm just going to quickly tell you guys.

So we had lost touch for a few years. And by lost touch, I mean, we blocked each other on every form of social media, every form of email, phone number, you name it. We did it. We changed our addresses like, bitch, we got it right.

It was good. It was real good. And so I'm on this dating app while we're single ready to flamingo and all of a sudden I see him and what do I do? Love to stir the pot.

I click a big fat heart like I think I'm fat bitch. And all of a sudden we connected a hook. There he is. There is Slim Shady women in the flesh, in the flesh who reach out to hoofers.

I actually sent the first message because I knew my girl. I knew he was he was not going to do it. And so on this dating app, you have to have like what your your profession is, OK? And being the very slick woman I am, I don't really want to give the men do you don't want to be like I talk about sex on a show on a high of that I of the podcast.

Yeah. And like hope they're like oh like what is this girl do. So naturally I say I'm a scientist because very believable. I know. Fuck yes. Or picture in a red bikini that's pushing up your test. So it's very believable. So he also has a a different work profession.

He's trying to hide his profession too. So we kind of have that in common. So I kind of play off of that. So he says like he's like an accountant or some shit and he's clearly not. You see his pictures. So I go and I play off that. I just read our conversation. Yeah, it was pretty interesting because what ended up happening is we kind of pretended we didn't know each other. That's cute. It was cute and kind of hot.

Kind of hot.

I said, hi, I'm Alex. I see you're an accountant. I'm a scientist.

Looks like we get along.

So you're playing it off like you guys are meeting for the first time for real. He goes, Hi, Alex, you look familiar. Have we met before? And then he goes, maybe. What kind of scientist are you?

Alex is this guy by my side? I look at my screen and I said some stupid shit about astronomy.

And I go, my specialty is astronomy. These are so I'm so embarrassed and I think this is kind of fun. I said and according to my findings, it appears you and I may have met in another life, but time and new memories will really only tell. This is so cheesy, but also I'm loving it. Then he called me and he goes, not going to lie. Astronomy sounds like a snooze, but I think I should go with the chemist.

He goes, L'il new memories, huh? You think so? And I said, Well, you won't be snoozing or sleeping, trust me. But I know. And I said, but I feel new memories are usually best way to star in a quiet private. Let no one know kind of way. You know, it's more fun that way he goes. What makes you so sure? I tend to get distracted, but I agree it'll be our little secret.

And I said distracted. Seems to me the people occupying your time just aren't getting the job done. Oh, I can assure you that won't be an issue with me. You're in very good hands. And then he said, you are right.

It's his already. You, me. So you are a slut. But that's the thing with your ex the best way. When I call a girl a slut, it's like you go, OK. And then he goes, well, let's see if you're up to the challenge. And I said, time and place your call and then you might as well have been like, my life is open for business, for your dick. Specifically, literally. OK, I so we ended up after that kind of going back like being like what are you up to.

And then we ended up meeting up two days later and fucking that is so crazy that you guys started talking because you found each other and I think it's.

Yes, yeah. Also I totally get why you decided to slide in with like that horror mentality.

Well, because you are a whore and then be because like, what are you supposed to go in there with, like all the heavy I have like like so glad like we were able to reconnect. Like I've been wanting to get this off my chest. No. So it was it was interesting.

But now I don't know, some shades back. Not back in in the game. Not in the game. He's a great father. We haven't decided what compartment we're putting. Yeah. I think at first I kind of came on here was like, oh my God. Like I could be falling back in love. But I think as time has gone on, any kind of like taking a back seat. Yeah. To the to the salmon cooker's, the Canadian the the art dealers.

Right. Yeah.

So I don't know. It's changing, it's ever flowing, and I think it's fun, we'll see. Do I need to give an update about my guy? Yeah, why not? What's going on with the ME? Fine. We're fine. It's fine. Like we're fine. Had therapy yesterday and I was like, listen, listen, listen, Linda, Linda. We're going to call her Linda. Linda. All right. I it was like my trust issues.

I joke about them on the podcast, but it is really becoming so clear to me that, like, I would like to discuss them in therapy because they're so out of control. And she was like, I could not agree more.

She's like, lately I have been waiting. Yeah. So I'm not in therapy. Yeah, I think that will because the other night Sofia had like a moment where she was feeling insecure. Yeah. Sorry.

And blowing up your spot but I think it's guys guys, guys, guys are you there.

Let me just quickly break it down like that, OK?

I was in Chicago two or three weeks ago with soup man, soup man and tomato soup. Tomato soup. OK, and don't get it twisted and don't. OK, so we were in Chicago. I was posting about my story. I got to go to Connie's Sunday service. That was so fucking cool.

So although I was doing laps looking for Kim and I could not see her because it's very dark in there.

So a little upset about that.

The only reason I want to go, I know that's like really we thought so I that you guys are fucking embarrassing. It really was very moving.

I felt inspired. OK, ok.

OK, so you're in Chicago. So I was in Chicago, which is not the story I was about to tell, but like, oh, but you're going to make a point. Well, you know, there's really just a plethora of trust issues, stories that include me acting can create issues.

OK, no, I went to the Art Institute of Chicago.

Oh, my guys got the culture died izing you with because dear God, OK, we're looking at paintings. They got some big names in there. I'm not living. Going to lie. Picasso's Monet don't get it likes on both coasts do Jason Hockney. I don't even think that's his first name.

Anyways, I'm in the museum. I'm looking around pretending I know what the fuck man is like. Oh, how does this piece of art make you feel? And I'm like, honestly, I can't even put into words. You're like this just his friend. He's like, how does it hit? You're like, just different. I'm like, if I start talking now, I'm going to cry. Let's just look at the other paintings. You're like this compared to like all the other museums I've been to is like it's a lot like it reminds you of the Museum of Sex.

Have you been like, what is your like your painting?

We're looking at paintings and I go to see a man and he's looking at a piece of art. And I was completely genuine in this question, OK?

I was like, do we know for sure that these paintings are the original paintings and they're not fakes?

Oh, and that is a testament to my trust issues, because, God damn, all right, moving on to our no fog.

So I don't think that made any sense. You're like 50 are on the walls of the museum. Like I was questioning. Not so like trust me. Now, that's a huge issue in the art world. I wish you could have given away better. You're like the art on the walls. I just couldn't chalk it up to him being real. You know what man's a liar these paintings are like. Why? I'm sorry. These paintings are symbolic.

Would you like to get mad at him right there in the mirror? Ask the art dealer. Ask him, please, because I still don't know. I think that they're completely real. And I'm not going to ask him that question because literally and my relationship with him, he's like, you're a fucking moron. Anyways, can we move on? I don't know what we're saying.

Me either. OK, we're going to talk about social media, OK? And we're going to talk about Instagram. And I'm going to try really hard to not sound like I'm ranting and just like screaming and I'm upset, but insert rant. But like, I'm just so sick and tired of the fucking facade and fake ness of Instagram. I'm over it.

OK, and what I want to talk about is sugar bear hair. We got an ad with sugar bear hair, guys. No kidding. I don't think they would give us an ad. I don't think so. No, this is with our hat, though. They're like, OK, you girls will be required to show the top of your heads. We're like, don't think we're doing this right now.

OK, so the thing is, I love Kylie Jenner. Ha, amazing.

I love her relationship with Stormi. I think it's so cute. Yeah. She's kind of just like an icon. She's an icon. What I don't appreciate is when she does advertisements for sugar bear hair. And let me just say and clarify, it's not just sugar bear here. It's any of those like hair vitamins. Yeah. Yep. And the reason it bothers me is because she will be holding up a bottle of the sugar bear hair vitamins and be like, my hair is so luxurious.

Yeah, luxurious. Luxurious. Smooth sailing, the hair is slinky, smooth, cruising down the freeway, slick to the faces, you name it. That's another reason why they're never going to advertise like you guys are talking about, literally a car anyways.

Sugar bear. Yes. She will be holding up a bottle of sugar bear her vitamins and be like, thank God these vitamins saved my hair all while she's wearing a fucking wig.

Well, she was wearing her Willy Wonka short black bob or your a haircut. We can talk about the other day. You guys all know what we're talking about. The Wonca. Yeah. It's a black bob that curves in at the bottom towards the face that needs to go.

It needs to go. Only lasted like a few weeks anyway anyways. Yeah, I think it's pathetic. She'll be wearing her hot pink wig like guys, this hair is fuckin amazing because of this vitamin and it's like that's not your hair. I bet it's obviously not just Kylie Jenner. No, there's this other girl I follow. Hmm. And she did like a similar advertisement, and she had the most obvious hair extensions in her head. And I'm like, what the fuck are you doing?

She she literally wrote in the caption like, well, like, I could have never dreamed of having heard this, like, long like a thick and healthy, but because of sugar bear hair. And I'm like, I know for a fact you have extensions and you literally had a barb three days ago. Your hair did not grow ten inches. OK, but sugar bear hair swip the fuck out. No, I swear to God she had a pig second and then posted with the sugar bear hair three days later with the extension saying it was because of the vitamins.

I, I yeah. And it just needs to stop. I agree because also no shame to people that we're extensions, I wear extensions there, I put them in, I take them out, I wave them around, whips them around, she pops them in.

When she needs them she pops them out. But you don't see Alex being like guys, guys, sugar bear hair. I saved my life while she's wearing her extensions. Alex wouldn't do that and I wouldn't allow her to know. I just say, go get your ass. I like you. Bad for the brand, not get the fuck off.

Right.

OK, I'm going to bring up something else, something we've been talking about in our apartment, like, yo, yo, yo, this will be quick. Yeah. When is it ever been quick.

I know I'm going to try to keep it OK. Smooth, quick and efficient. There is one girl in particular that Alex and I both follow on Instagram and she is our favorite person to follow.

And I wish so badly Daddy gang, that we could tell you her name. But it's like we've we've hung out with her in real life.

We've hung out with her like friend group. Yeah. And like her friend group is like loosely our friend group. And it just it could really it would just be really fucked up. And usually we don't care. But I, I guess maybe we don't care as much. It would just be a little bit uncomfortable if we ever run into them in New York and they're like, so you let millions of people know. And we're like, all right.

Her name. But we actually gave her a fake name like 10, 20 episodes of Christina Georgian's and what are we going out for, for that? Because every single thing she puts on her story, she will put a hashtag ad. Yup. Every post, every story, and she will tag the place. And at this point, it's just so obvious that those people are not right.

Paying her to do an advertising.

Her entire Instagram is an ad. Yeah. So she did in unboxing the other day. If you guys don't know what unboxing is, it's when influencers will open up a package they've either purchased or received. Yeah. So she had a box from Chanel and she has the audacity to say. Thank you, Chanel, thank you so much for sending me this, this is the best present I've ever received. Thank you. Thank you. You're fucking it up.

I think you go to meet the guys every time she says she's in Soho. It's not so Hood said she. Then she's in. I'm sorry. What's wrong with us? I'm going to Chanel. And then she called her boyfriend Beb. OK, ok. Sorry. You know, we're just like in a shit talking.

You don't give a fuck anyway cos. So let me just break this down one word. She is trying to pretend that she did not go into Chanel and and this and her boyfriend boyfriend's rich, her boyfriend's rich.

She's trying to pretend that her boyfriend didn't buy the Chanel bag for her. She pretends like Chanel was like putting their PR list together, which I don't even think Chanel sends. I don't even think they sent it to Kylie. I don't think so either.

And she's pretending like Chanel was like, we need to get Cristina on the case.

And that's not her name, but that's not her name. But we're going to call her Cristina.

She's trying to pretend that Chanel was like, if there is one fucking gift that we give out today, it's got to go to Cristina Jorgensen, because I know we have access to women that have tens of millions of followers. But there's something about Christina's, you know, humble and modest 100k of purchased followers. So I know I'm pretty sure that she bought that Gemito. There's just something about that crew.

We really need to make sure this gets in the hands of Christine Jorgensen and we want to get on that page because the last nine posts have been ads, cuota world ads for places like Walgreens and Pizza Hut, Toys R, 7-Eleven, things that really, really just mix well with your Chanel brand. So we need that. And if you guys can't hear the sarcasm, joking, we're joking. So this has got to stop. She's not the only girl that's doing this.

If you guys are out there, influencers are trying to be an investor and you are buying things and thanking the brand, thinking the brand and trying to pretend that the brand sent it to you for free. It's really, really embarrassing.

And we can see right through it. Yeah, it's it's like, why are you thanking them for for four by for you.

Why to me about it. So you go, OK, what I'm saying is why the fuck is she thinking Chanel for the 10k she just spent. They should be thanking you. They should be like thank you so much for your boyfriend shopping them out of money.

Honestly, how much cooler. How much cooler. If she's like yes, she come off if she unbox is Chanel and she was like, good God, I'm a sucker for real great. My boyfriend to buy this for me. Exactly. And that's such a good point. Maybe we're alone in that. But like, what if.

Yeah, I would rather her pretend that she bought it. Yeah, I actually agree with that because we know about it. But I agree with you. You're literally making it up.

No one's paying and everyone can see right through it. It's so transparent. There are certain brands that you can like fucking pretend. Right. She did it with sugar bear hair. I'd be like, OK, fine, but they're. Yeah, yeah. There's certain brands like Chanel and Burkean Birken. Birken is never, ever, ever, ever, ever going to sell someone a free bag in exchange for them to throw it up on Instagram. Those bags can be like forty K, right.

Oh more. More. Yeah. So, so I don't, I just you know and that's good.

So moving on, that's the manscape. I gave Slim Shady the entire manscape package and he loved it. I gave it to suit man and he equally loved. OK, there's the ball toner. Yes. And it's like there's a ball deodorant and he fucking loved it. And then I kept his dick after and it was amazing because it was like a nice little like Listerine thing in my mouth. Totally.

So I remember Alexander, we're talking about Manscape this advertiser and we were talking about the product and we asked the dudes that we are dating and we were like, do you use a different Shavar for your balls than you do when you do for your face?

And they both kind of looked at us and they were like blinking and they were like, no, but now that you're bringing it up. Yeah, I kind of wish I did, because that's kind of gross to use the same one. Yeah.

So you guys, Mansky Manscape guys, it's the only brand dedicated to men's below the belt grooming and it's pretty fucking bomb. They have a ball trimmer. Ladies, this is actually the perfect gift for your man. Yeah. It has ball deodorant as toning spray. It has all of this stuff and it was stuff that I would never like. I know men would never think to buy it. We don't even know it exists. And then when I gave it to the guy, he was actually kind of like, holy fuck, thank you so much for giving us the best gift.

So Daddy gang, right now you can get twenty percent off plus free shipping with the code daddy landscaped dotcom.

That's twenty percent off, plus free shipping with code daddy dating apps.

We want to fucking talk about dating apps in in a very open way to let everybody know why do people shit on people that met on dating apps. Why do people shit on couples. It's like, oh, we met on Tinder, why is it like a taboo? Yes, there's like Shame's around. We're fucking done with it. We are. We want to talk about dating apps. Every fucking person out there listening to this. If you have matched with your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your wife, your husband, your lover, whatever the fuck is, and you're ashamed or you're nervous to, like, tell people when you're in public like, oh, how did you guys meet on a dating app?

Knock it off.

No, I don't get why there's all of this, like, shame about a dating app. My friend actually got married not that long ago. She had met her now husband on Tinder. And do you think that that was ever announced at the wedding or do you think their parents even know? Oh, my God, no. They like they like made up this entire story about how they met. And I'm like, why?

See, that's the thing. It's like I feel like we're getting a little bit closer to people accepting it because it's really a thing now. But I feel like at least like a couple of years ago, it was like you guys met on Tinder. Everyone that ever says to you, everyone look back them like, yeah, yeah, I did.

I will say I do understand why dating apps get a bad rap, even though I think they're amazing. The reason they do is because sometimes they can come off creepy as fuck and creepy as fuck because there are guys on there that are gross. They're in their first D.M. is like, would you like a dick pic? And it's like they're either sending unsolicited dick pics or height the catfish like, yeah. Is this low key, a repost, try to come for me.

Right. Or I think a third reason is like certain dating apps are kind of cheesy, like they come on.

Oh OK. I sofija on the same page.

I was helping my brother. He's recently single. OK, shout out to all the daddies. No. And so over Christmas break he was like, Alex, help me with my dating profile. And I was like, I got you to set the whole thing up. And I'm looking at these dating apps and I forget which one it was specifically. But one of these dating apps absolutely fucks you. Oh, you have to fill out a questionnaire. You have to pick I think it's like five or six questions out of like they give you so fucking many and it's horrible.

And what's even more horrible is the questions that they ask you to answer are so fucking corny that it's like I'm going to read you guys a few just to, like, give you guys an idea of what I'm talking about.

OK, should I try to answer them? Let me first, because they give you what, like a a generic response could be. So I want to like. Oh, OK. So they provide an example of how you can answer like a No. One is. I'll brag about you to my friends if and then their answer example would be you can speak a second language and never skip a leg day. Never skip like day, what do even this is, so you actually know both of them.

Can you imagine if you were like so feel like tell me about like this guy you're doing? And I was like, let me just say let me just put it this way. Two languages fluent also has never missed like day. So also, Alex, this one seven is Flag Day. So let's just put a motherfucking check next to his name. Ali, I will have any more questions. Let me know. Drop the mike. Drop the motherfucking mike, please.

You would be like, why? Why, why do you know? He never said, OK, so I get what you're saying. It's so dumb. And you and you're forced to answer that we need to literally started dating app like this is pathetic. Like, I'm pissed off that people are getting subjected to this. Yes. OK, now let's have you answer a few. Oh fuck. OK, well are you going to. OK, try to know.

I'll try to do it. OK, I'll introduce you to my family if. You have 12 zeros in your bank account. Naturally, I would want to be like if I got a job and then I would put L'Étoile. But, you know, guys would not find that funny. I would be like, you're you're a gold digger, OK? But like I said, the only issue this is a thing. Let me try to pretend like I am Martha Margaret.

Oh, Madison, Beatrice, Beatrice. The holier than thou. Holier than thou. OK, I'll introduce you to my family. If what if you just put like you, you know, something like a good like, you know, I was out to really embarrass myself.

What about that? People like a good personality and sense of humor or something, but I wouldn't want to put pressure on the guy to feel like he needs a good person. Yeah. What if he's dry as fuck, but he's great in the sack, you know what I mean? Right. It's just like, I don't know, I'd be like, get ready. We say it again. No injuries, guys. We're strong. I'll introduce you to my family if you're ready to crush a beer with my dad.

Greg, I feel like I would want to hear this. It's not that bad. And I think a guy would be like, oh, wait, that's actually a pretty good one. OK, I like that. I like that. So, like, shoot the shit with my great grandma. Yeah. Earl, Earl, Earl.

OK, how about this one I'm weirdly attracted to. What would you say.

Very significant features, like a big nose, sometimes frame like Javier Bardem, what the fuck would you say maybe like am weirdly attracted to?

I don't know, these are all fine, was good. OK, distinct features. OK, true. No, but do you see how these are horrible, horrible escape I've ever received? Worst idea I've ever had, unusual skills. Do you see how this could be problematic?

I would never answer answer. I would never answer truthfully. Yeah. How can we like. OK, so number one, I think that girls can answer some of these in like a dumb way and men really don't give a fuck. They're looking at your pictures. OK, ok. They're actually I was you know, I was sitting here over sweating bullets. I was stressed. I was like, I don't know what my answer is. You know, you got a pussy.

A man does not know even read these questions. If I said cheeseburgers and fries, the most generic basic ass bitch answer, I think if he doesn't care, my titties are out and I'm looking good. Or on the flip side of your dude, I would want him to answer at least like one or two. Funny. Oh, no, I totally agree. Answering like, what the fuck are these? You know, literally, if you can think of one funny thing and then the last thing I think you made a great point of, yeah, these dating apps are kind of setting you up for failure in the sense that they're they can be corny and creepy.

So my biggest advice is use the corniness to your advantage. And I know that sounds really fucking weird, but hear me out.

I think that I think this is whinge. Whinge is fucking all of you. So what you need to do is you need to make a joke out of it. This is a perfect opportunity to use these questions as a conversation starter. Yeah. Basically pick one of his questions and comment on it or vice versa. Men look at her question and comment on it, message her and be like, please, for the love of God, do not judge me off of those questions like they're the worst because it's so you can essentially.

But the conversation starter your bond over the corniness. And then I think that using the corniness all the way to the end, when you guys are trying to transition off the dating apps, my go to is always like, I hate this app. Like I'm so bad at checking it. Text me and then you give them your number and you're on your fucking way to downtown. So don't be afraid of dating apps. Embrace them, fuck on them.

And just to close this off about dating apps every single day, I still receive the same D.M. And it's from girls being like, can you please tell men to stop acting so horny and scary and predatory on dating apps because it's still like a huge thing? Well, that's why also they get a bad rep. The dating apps are full of creepy people with their dick pics, right? This second, a guy's profile has anything that makes him come off like he wants to fuck.

I'm out. You pretend you don't want to fuck until you're hard and you have a condom on and you're inside of her all of a sudden. Yes, boom.

God, that's so wrong. All right.

Sex, sex. Sit back, relax. And because you've got this.

Because we got the blowjobs coming forward, OK, I'm going to let you take the reins.

What mouth do you know? We've referenced the lollipop in previous episodes, but we've never talked about it. And Sophia and I thought today we would give the daddy gang a little bit of an explanation of what the lollipop pop is.

Sometimes a penis can look like a popsicle in front of you if you envision it, if you have the creative imagination, if you let your mind get to that place where it looks. Yeah, if you're doing daddy daughter.

Yeah. Especially give me my popsicle. Daddy, I want to lick your lollipop. It's a fun game we play. It's a fun fucking game.

OK, we just upset some people but ok. It's just role play, it's fantasy.

So so anyways, so the lollipop pop is something that has been boom, boom, boom, lollipop love of all of a Broadway dude, we have such ADHD.

OK, all right. The Lollipop is an amazing blowjob tip that we want to bring to you guys, because it's used frequently in my everyday life and it's used in Sophia's everyday life. And we just haven't even fucking told you guys what kind of friends, what kind of older sisters, what kind of pals, what kind of father are we to not are we to not share?

So what you do is you put the dick in your mouth. Step one, put the dick in your mouth. All right. All you horror's out there. Put it in. So what is the lollipop? The lollipop is I'm going to try to describe this as best as I can when you have his dick in your mouth and it's hard. Yeah.

And you're going up and down, what you're going to do is you are going to grab his dick and kind of forcefully. Pull it out of your mouth, but you're going to have it do a little side swipe pop, and when it's coming out of your mouth, you're going to make that sound. You're going to do that. Yeah, sound. You're essentially I think it's also good sometimes hold the dick almost with your entire hand.

Yeah. The bass and you're coming off of it and your mouth is slowly coming up and kind of almost like. It's an it's an 80 degree day on the beach, you got your popsicle in hand and it starts to melt, right. And you do one swoop down on it and then you come up and you're suctioning all of it off. You're basically coming off of his tip and you're making like a pop sound and it's as if you're licking your lollipop and out of your mouth.

Imagine you're in New Jersey on the beach, you're in New Jersey, you're in the eighth grade. You've got a bright red popsicle in your bikini. And Jeremy from math class that you've been wanting to mug is sitting right next to you. And you're like, holy shit, I could do shit to this popsicle right now. That is going to make Jeremy hard. Yes. And want to fuck you're going to pop that shit out your mouth and your imagine how you would play liquor and eat a popsicle if Jeremy from eighth grade was right there.

I bet. Like a slut. Like a slut. And that's what we're trying to say. Right. OK, so when you're pulling the dick out of your mouth. Yes. I think I was such a good point. You're going to be gripping it almost with your entire hand, Dick, like you're driving stick shift, stick shift up in this bit, OK? And you're going to when your mouth is about to release instead of just like slowly coming off of it, coming off of it, you're going to do it a little bit more abrupt.

I make that set. The sound is so important. You sound it's like. Yes, that's perfect. Like that. Yeah.

I also think girls to get a little nastier with it, what you can do too is like so say you do one of them. Then when with his hand, with his hand, no, with your hand, what do you mean you do one of them will like you come off of it and you do a little pop. OK, so then so you've done the lollipop. You've done the lollipop pop. What usually I will do, as I think a lot of times it can startle a man.

He's like, whoa, what the fuck was out that was hot.

So after you do the initial lollipop pop off, you're going to keep your hand on his dick and you're going to kind of be giving him a handjob. Again, this thing should be so fucking wet. You're giving him a handjob around the base. You're going up and down. And what I've done sometimes is I put my tongue completely out of my mouth.

So, like, if the doctors, like, say, oh, hey, when he puts, like, that little wooden stick on your tongue. Right.

OK, so you put your tongue completely out and then you put his dick on your tongue. I like, OK, and you are going to start making you're going to make this is where you make eye contact with the man.

When you're giving him the blowjob, you're going to put the tip of his dick on your tongue and you're going to be making kind of like like oh ways and kind of rubbing it on there for a second. Looking at him as you're giving handjob. I like. And then you're going to go again. You don't have to go all the way down on the dick, just go kind of to the tip and suction pop off again.

I pray to God that makes and you know, the tongue sticking out and making the sound and kind of rubbing the dick on your tongue like you're almost thinking of going back, but you're not going all the way down. You're just focusing on the ten. It's like you're trying to get that jolly rancher to leave your tongue red, like you're rubbing it on there. You're rubbing the tip of his wiener on your fucking tongue. And I swear to God, if it's super wet, like we've said before, sometimes like slap his dick on the side of your cheek or that's what I wanted to also point out was like, that's another really hot thing, is take his dick while it's in your mouth and really, really press it up against the side of your cheek.

Be so careful not to hit your child. You have to be very careful.

But he should be able to see that his dick's making your cheek stick out like a chipmunk, extend your Patronus like a squirrel with it's not fucking carrying it and it's easier to do that. You're a little bit chubby ass bitch. Yeah. And again, this is something that makes him feel like his dick is very big. Yes. Barely fit in your widow.

Widow Bill has to go into the cheap lollipop. OK, guys, I hope this makes sense, but I and if you're new to this podcast, you need to go learn about all the basics of a blowjob.

So, yeah, this comes when you are a fucking profession, because when you're giving a blowjob, we want it to be obviously sloppy, disgusting. We've said it before and we'll say it again. You guys already know the basics. You're going up. You're going down all around the world. Really tongue. So Sukie Sukie Bowis blowy a little down a little apple did throw a little one to a little doublecross wheel. Oh it out a little bit connected to your little tongue and then you go out and the baby all come in.

Maybe a ball goes, goes out the door popped the finger up ass in and out of the house one to one to a little oh a little sideswipe a little tongue on the side of his dick. A little a little dazed anyway it's. Anyways, you got it, you guys got it anyways, anyways, blowjob one, a one on one classic here, all of you hoes and tricks out there. You guys want sex toys, you want lube, you want whatever the fuck you want to spice up your bedroom game.

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And then six free movies and free shipping. Free shipping. Free shipping. Good God. So you guys, free stuff is obviously amazing. All you got to do is go to Adam and Eve Dotcom and use code her daddy. That's H.E.R. Daddy, why automotive.com get a bunch of free shit. Yeah. Guys, go spice up your sex life. Oh my gosh. Guys, questions. Is it do you have a question? Cause I have a question for you.

I have a very important question for you because it is a question we go we we all love Laken Christian Christian questions. Do we drop truck chalk questions, OK? I don't know. All right. Hi, Sophia. I accidentally let it slip to my boyfriend that I am a psycho and check up on his new Instagram followers, people he follows. I'm an idiot. He got weirded out and said it was super intense and extreme.

We are long distance because military. So I can't fuck or blow him to make up for it. Is there any way to bounce back from this?

So what happened was she accidentally let it slide.

She's a crazy bitch and looks at his followers, et cetera, et cetera. Trust me, sweetie. Sweetie, there have been times where I've been sitting next to soup man up and I've been on my fake account and I've opened my Instagram and it's been on the fake account. And I literally have like chucked my cell phone across the room and been like, oh, my God, a spider on my phone because I'm so scared for him to know, like, oh, yeah, Superman has a good idea of how crazy I am.

But like, there are even now some things that I keep to myself totally because it's so extreme, because it is so extreme. So, Alex, what advice do we have for this girl? I think that you can't fully recover.

I think I think the only thing you can do is protect yourself moving forward. Yes. As two crazy women sitting with one of the craziest podcasts on the Internet currently. Yes, it is. It is a craft. It is a skill. It is a hobby. It is a passion. And we're not going to tell you to not be crazy anymore and to not you should absolutely be stalking who he follows.

And when he follows, you have every right and it's not even a right. You have every obligation to yourself and say bitches around the world. And you know what? If I were you, you lie and you you apologize a little bit. I realize, like, I had a moment to think about it and like, yeah, that was so weird and crazy. And I am so sorry and I promise I'm never going to do that again. And when you hang up, you go right back and you do it again.

Listen, in the words of my idol, Paris Hilton. Yes. OK, tell people what they want to hear and then do whatever the fuck you want, OK?

It was some version of that. Yeah. And that is stuck with me to this day. So this is what you do. You guys are long distance. That doesn't mean you can't be a complete and total nasty hooker slut. You sent him a nude, you send him a fucking video with something in your pussy and it is an and you moaning and fucking getting well over the toy. OK, you can't give him a blowjob. You do the next best thing.

You send him a video of you sucking on a toy and sticking it in your pussy. Dun dun. Second thing is you're going to pull out a little manipulation tactic. And this is kind of scaring me that we are like this without even having to really sit down and think about the question. You go to him and this is what you do, baby.

I thought about this, and I think what happened is I just had a moment of serious insecurity because of our long distance relationship and I just had a moment of feeling really, really insecure and scared. And I and I miss you. And I let the stalking get the best of me. And I realize in hindsight that that's not healthy, so I'm never going to do it again. That's not fair to do to you and it's not fair to do to you.

And just so you know, that is very, very out of character for me.

And that's not who I am. You get off the phone and you fucking go and quickly see who just started following. And then you go back to basics and you go back to who you are. But he doesn't need to know and you need to really relate and and never let that slip again. Yeah, that was a personal error. That was that. When you are crazy, you need to really decide can you handle it? Could be strong enough within yourself to embrace the crazy, live the crazy and in just the crazy and not let your significant other fully see that other dark side of you.

Yeah. And you know, Alex, I have to say, this guy is this guy is calling her out for being intense and extreme. White is a part of me. Think that he was also aroused. I agree. Right.

The crazy does something to him. Like there's no way that he didn't kind of think of you in a sexual way and start to kind of think about jacking off later to your little indiscretion.

And that's all we've got. Alex, your turn. No, not one laugh that ha ha ha.

But kind of so fucking honest and true, OK.

Hey, Sophia, I recently got diagnosed with herpes. OK. Obviously one of the worst STIs you can get as it is not curable. But what can I do if you guys could please use your platform to end the stigma around more serious STIs? I would very much love it. All right. This was written in BIDU. OK, I'm going to say about the hurt. The hurt is. It's way more common than you think. Yeah. I don't know, like the specifics around it, but I know that there is a medication that people can now take where it makes if you're taking it on a daily basis, it makes the chances of your sexual partner getting the herpes like three percent to me or something.

That's amazing information. And that's if you're not obviously using a condom. Right. Right. Estie Eyes is OK.

Yeah. OK. The correct term now because when did it change your mind? Well, because it's not a disease infection. So sties the thing is, is like I know that. So I remember in college I girls would get chlamydia. I remember one of my friends got HPV and I literally thought it was HIV. And she was like, it's like I'm going to miss you guys. I just feel like so sad. Right.

I'm pretty sure I remember reading that. Over almost one in every two people gets HPV, men will never know if they have HPV because there's no symptoms, but girls can get tested for it. And almost every like every other woman is going to get HPV at some point in their life. Chlamydia is super common. I'm not trying to normalize STIs, but I do think that it's important because I want to make sure that everyone else did get one. Yes.

When I had chlamydia that one time and I blamed it on the guy and it totally wasn't. But Alex, I did talk about this. So, Alex, I it's no secret that we were both we happily proclaimed it to The New York Post that we do, in fact, have had chlamydia. But down Alexian, we're talking about when we were younger and we both found out the diagnosis that we were positive for chlamydia. We both thought our lives were fucking dude.

I remember calling my friend Andy and Taylor and because one of my one of them thought they were pregnant and I had chlamydia and I was like, you got yeah.

I was bawling my eyes out, freaking out. And they were like, oh, my God. And she thinks she's pregnant. And, you know, you're about to die. Like, this is crazy. And it is kind of scary that there is such a scary stigma around them, which they are scary and it's a serious issue to get. But like I literally when I found that out.

Yeah. That I had chlamydia, it wasn't you that I was scared for my health.

I really felt like less than. Yeah, like I felt really disgusting. And I just felt like as a woman, like I was never going to be as lame or some shameful or as little or as like wholesome, you know.

No, don't worry. You're always home. You'll be fine. You're all but I get what you're saying.

I mean, Alex, night, let's just put it this way.

We, you know, had made jokes in the past, like, oh, ha ha. Like, should we say on the podcast, we had chlamydia and we would both be like, obviously no. Right. And we're like, how would you? And then finally, we had this moment where we were like, why? Why so many people get it. And also it's like, I think that one, you're giving more power to it, if you like, hide it.

And also how many fucking people are fucking without condoms and then you just like barely don't get it back, like the reason why you're not better than the person that did. So, first and foremost, anyone that does get something like I just want you to hear from call her daddy like you're it's going to be OK. Yeah. You are not diagnosed with terminal cancer and like you're about to die in a month. And even for this guy, because he's like he's like, can you talk about the heavy?

I he'd like a her. Yeah, yeah. You cannot live your entire life like around this infection. You can't let it consume you. And so and with the timing, as we just talked about, like you don't need to say on the first date, maybe even the second or third, I think it's when you are starting to realize that this might be a long term thing, then I think you bring it up.

Boom, OK, OK. Roman swipes your fucking your man, your fucking. And he just blew us all up in that pussy within ten seconds. And you're like, what the fuck man. I thought we were in it for the long haul. I thought I was going to get my oh. And he just wasn't able to do it. That is where Roman swipes coming. Roman swipes, guys, you swipe it on your dick, it's going to help you last longer and then you can pound her all fucking night or pound that asshole all night.

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That's got Roman dotcom slash daddy. I had a couple girls write in the same type of question this week.

It is. When using a condom during sex, am I supposed to suck dick with condom on two?

Hmm, that's a great question. I remember my mother tried to convince you you were supposed to she would always be like, and you're Alex. If you're giving a blowjob, there's a condom on it. Right? And I'm like, yeah.

And why did she tell you that? I have no idea. I think can you get you can get oral STDs maybe. I don't know. Yes, I have never in my life and I don't know if I'm I'm not proud of it, but I've never in my life given a blowjob with a guy with a condom.

I mean, the I would understand it. Let's say you decide to give him a little blowy Middlesex and like you. Are you fucking kidding that latex in your mouth I who care about you have had way worse things. And it's just disgusting the fact that you were just trying to bring up later. I know you've had a dirty, sweaty penis and there, dude, I would rather that than latex. I don't have an issue with latex, but I'm just trying to understand a scenario in which you would maybe want to do that.

But like, if you're going to start off with oral put raw Dogpatch raw dog, that hot dog. Yeah, I just think unless, like, you know, you can visibly see that there's like a herb or something, then you won't. Have you ever given a blowjob with a condom on?

You know, maybe when I was younger, actually, when I was younger, I think I did some weird shit. Like looking back, I'm like, what the fuck were you doing? You were like, you're blocking it out now. Yeah.

I think, though, you know, if this guy if you just met him on Tinder and his bio was like, then don't put the dick in trying to get my two hundredth kill, who wants to fuck?

And I would maybe want to give him a blowjob with a condom. I would yeah. I would just say just fuck with a condom and don't even give him a head. Yeah, OK.

Hey, Alex and Sofia, I love this show. You guys are hilarious. They tell me more, tell us.

I'm writing to tell you girls about this really cool couples sex questionnaire that helps couples discover things about their partners from we.

This is in quotation marks. We should try it. Dotcom, the way this questionnaire works is it presents each person with a ton of sex activities and scenarios. And for each activity, each person answers with whether or not they're into it or if they'd like to try it out. Oh my gosh, each person takes the test individually. Once each person has answered what they like and don't like, the website will look through each partner's answers and show only what both people are into.

This quiz turned out to be a lot more fun than I thought it would be, and I learned a lot of interesting things about my girlfriend.

Oh my God. I want a guy wrote in. We I want to do that right with that sounds so fine. So and I think this is so smart because the people are scared in their relationships to answer honestly because they don't want to be like, I want a threesome so bad in their girlfriends, like, oh, you just want to fuck another girl in mind, why don't you just go cheat on me? And it's like, no, I just want, you know, threesomes turn me on.

So this quiz makes it so that the only things that you guys will both be able to read are the things you both agreed on, the fantasy. I think that that is so fucking smart. Even if you have mind blowing, say, your partner, there is always room for growth. Sometimes it's hard to communicate it.

So I think that this is a perfect fucking oh my God, I want to go do that to everyone.

Try it with their significant other. That's like fucking dope. Yes. Thanks, Sophia. You're welcome. OK, the website is. We should try it. Dotcom. OK, ok. This is really interesting to me. And I don't know how I feel about it, so tell me. OK, Highfather, so I have a blowjob tip. Sophia mentioned on a previous episode that her guy used a vibrator on his tongue while eating her out and gave her an amazing orgasm, so I decided to use the same trick while giving a blowjob.

I put my vibrator on the tip of his dick while I also licked and sucked it. I then would take the vibrator and put it close to my lips or tongue and as close as possible and slide it up and down while I was giving him the clock so that he feels the vibrations as I suck his dick. This had him coming faster than anything I've ever seen. He says it's magical and insists that I do it more often. Hope this helps spice up the clock.

Love you, Daddy's. The student has become the master. Oh, yeah, wow, so wow. Are young praying mantis has now become a large global sex icon, sex icon and wow, I am kind of fascinated by this.

OK, so let me just get my two cents because I was having sex and the man I was having sex with was wearing a cock ring. Yeah, we talked about this before. It's not just hush, hush, hush hush.

My favorite part time jobs. It's sometimes, you know, OK, it's not necessarily my go to sex toy, but we were using it and I realized that the vibration that it was giving. Yeah, obviously he's feeling it as well. It's wrapped around his day. Right. So I ended up asking him after sex if he liked that sensation of the vibrating and he said 100 percent. Absolutely. Wow. So he enjoyed the vibration. So I can only assume if I were to incorporate that into a blowjob, he would be blasted off into ecstasy.

Right. And all we can say, girlfriend, is Alexander are going to try this. Alex, let's make an oath right now to the day digging into each other. I will be doing this with me to this weekend and I will report back. I don't know if I can do it this weekend because I don't have to talk this weekend, but when I do. OK, so you start first and then I'll fall through and I am sure we could find you some day.

Oh yeah. But yeah, I will let you guys know. Thank you so much for writing that. Amazing. Really amazing. Hey sweetheart, I need some help. This is a different type of question, Alex. OK.

I'm a 25 year old gay guy that lives in central Illinois, I know stabbed me and I'm looking for ways to meet guys going out to bars around here does not work at all. So I've been stuck with apps that pretty much suck as well. I want to meet guys in other areas since the options here are extremely limited. And I just want to know the way to go about this. I'm down to travel and clearly don't want to spend the rest of my life here.

I'm just stuck on what to do next. Love you, ladies.

OK, at first I wasn't going to read this because I was like, I don't really know the answer.

It I think you're shit out of luck. And then I really started to think about this. I know this is a serious problem from my really close gay friends that live in Utah, OK? And they'll be like, can you get me on rye?

Because at least with Ryan, there's like it's not in a it's not a mile race. It's not like the circumference that's around you. Right. You will match with people that are country or even in different different countries, which can be annoying.

But I can also see why it's great. Yes. Yeah. What I would say the only advice that I can think to give this guy is set the location on your dating up to somewhere you're wanting to travel. I don't think you can do it unless you have it as a I think you have to you can choose to pay for premium.

OK, well, then pay for premium. I agree. Set the location to like some city near you that you've been, like, wanting to try for. I agree. I think that's something you could do and then be.

I'm sure well, I'm not sure.

But if you have friends that live out of state, it's a great point. Go visit them. I agree. And then I also think Instagram gets Instagram is such a go on your following or go on your explore page and start looking up, find a friend and then go through his followers and people and like slidin D.M. Why is in different location. Oh right. Because like use Instagram is the dating app sliding into the. Absolutely. Totally. You got to just get creative.

And I think like a lot of people are, yes. People can get stuck in their hometowns, people can feel like you're in the middle of nowhere and feel like you're in a rut. And we're very fortunate that we live in New York City. We are very but we're also very fortunate with social media that you can essentially be talking to someone in a few states away. Right. Or countries, countries. So I think what you have to do is get more active.

But also I think that's a good point. If you go visit friends.

Yeah, I mean, he's in Illinois, like, fucking go to like Chicago. I'm sure there's people travel for work constantly. Constantly. Yes.

This is really quick. Is it normal or humane in any way, shape or form to suck a guy's dick after his dick has been in your own ass for anal. Oh my God.

Why should I say no? I'm going to go ahead and say no.

I'm just going to say no, I've had times where it's been like a little close call, right? Like a little confusing little I'm going to say no, but no, I think wash it or put a condom on it. I agree.

And that's that's a T and that's if I can show for this week. All right. We love you guys so much. We'll see you guys. We will see you guys soon. And just I, I like when the trail ends. It's just beginning. Yeah. Go follow us on our personal Instagram with Alexandra Cooper, Alex with Danny Cooper with the sea mine. Sofia Franklyn's, if you enough Franklyn with a Y. All right.

We love you guys back on Wednesday. Daddy Joe.