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[00:00:00]

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[00:01:13]

What is up, daddy gang? It is your single father, Alex Cooper. We call her Daddy. Daddy. Oh, what the fuck is up, Daddy?

[00:01:27]

It is your founding father got it all good for another motherfucking episode of Call Her Daddy.

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How the hell are you all doing? Great. Mm hmm. Perfect. OK. Me too. You were pretending, you guys said you're in great moods. I am, too. Why?

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Why are you in a good mood, Alex? You're usually hungover and tired. Not today. Mother fuckers, daddy going.

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By the time that I upload this lovely, lovely episode, your girl your father is officially on vacation.

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I'm extremely excited to go drink a fat fucking pina colada and have some sex. Now, don't worry, because all of you were like, that's nice, Alex. Great, but hold on so we don't get an episode next week. There isn't an episode of Call Her Daddy next week. However, I didn't forget about you. I'm not fully leaving my children. There is going to be an episode on Hannah's podcast, Burning in Hell, where she interviews me and we get super dark and deep.

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We recorded this the other week, so that will be fun that you guys can go listen to. So technically, you're going to get your Daily Dose of call her daddy.

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Now, let's get to the good stuff. Let's get to let's get to the motherfucking good stuff, Daddy. There has been so much drama in my life this past week that I truly feel like I haven't been able to like come up for air, there's been so much shit going on that I barely I was like, I need to get on the fucking podcast and tell the audience what the fuck is going on in my life. Are you guys ready for the breaking news?

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Yeah, come on, Alex, give us the goods, I'm coming. Daddy, again, listen the fuck up, you ready for this one? There is a man that lives a crime, you're all what? Here we go. There is a man that lives across the hall from me that is extremely mentally unhinged. I have to move out of my goddamn New York City apartment by October 31st. And I am, in fact, Alex fucking Cooper moving to motherfucking L.A. and daddy gang.

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I am not fucking doing it alone for the first time in five years. Lauren McMullen, my best friend since second grade, is fucking single, she broke up with her fucking boyfriend. She's fucking coming with me, baby, and we're moving to L.A. like we.

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Alex Soto y you just moved into your apartment. Lauren broke up with her boyfriend last time she was on your fucking show. It sounded like they were getting fucking married. It was like a seven year fucking relationship. And what do you mean you're moving to L.A.? You swore you would never go, Daddy. Welcome to the fucking show this week, baby. There's a lot going on and you're all like, let's let's get into the details. Don't worry.

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Of course I'm ready. Let's go. Let's bring it fucking down. Let's start with my apartment. If you guys have followed me on social media, you've seen I have this gorgeous apartment, which I have said, thank you, fucking daddy, because the only fucking reason I am living in that apartment is because of every single person listening to this podcast. You've given me the ability to live somewhere that I truly never dreamed of fucking living. So first of all, let's take a fucking minute to be like, thank you.

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So I'm in a smaller place and the last thing you guys fucking saw was a move in vlog. Well, now the next video you're going to see is a move outflowing because I'm leaving. There is a man that lives across the hall from me that is extremely unhinged. And I don't need to get into how he's been arrested. And he's a little he's a little erratic, psycho, whatever. And basically people had to get involved. And for safety reasons, I have to move out of this building.

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It's fucking sucks because if you guys have seen on social media, I have put my heart and soul into not furnishing for the first time in my goddamn fucking life, my apartment from the trash. So it's fucking shitty. I'm not going to lie. The fact that I'm telling you that someone super unhinged lives across from me. You also know how psycho I am. Let's just say I have ramped up the door buddy situation from a nice little one hooker under the fucking doorknob.

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I have 10 door buddies and I have my dresser slide up to my fucking door right before I go to sleep every night because God forbid the man shows up. Knock, knock, bitch, you're dead. This is. Can you guys tell him a little? I'm unhinged now. He's making me unhinged. So as I'm learning this, Lawrence shows up knock knock on my door and goes, Hey, Big Al, move in the fuck in. I just broke up with my boyfriend and she brings all of her shit to my apartment.

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I'm like, Lauren, I'm so happy and proud of you that you finally are single. However, I'm moving out. So let's try to move in and I'm fucking moving out. So now Lauren and I are sitting in this great apartment and we're like on October thirty first. We are we are homeless. OK, so Lauren and I have been like, wow, what wow, what a life man. You know, you go from moving into this great place in a stable relationship to two seconds later.

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And also all of you are probably thinking, Alex, what did you do? Alex, Alex, what do you do? Why did she break up with the boyfriend? I promise. This says, For the first time in my life, this has nothing to do with me. And Lauren told me that she'll come on and she'll explain whatever. But for right now, all you need to know is she broke up with her boyfriend of five years.

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Now, Lauren are homeless. Now the scene is set. Alex, Lauren, homeless. Where will they go next? Face to mother fuckers. We're going to L.A.. Alex, how the hell did that even come about? You took the scout's honor, OK? Never will I ever I said it. I will totally admit I said I would never fucking go to L.A. I'm moving to L.A., guys, this is how it happened.

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If you follow me on social media, you probably actually saw the infamous night that this all went down. It was the other night Lauren and I were posting away on social media, but the one through and through nothing could deny the fact that everyone could tell we were fucking lit. We were hammered a couple fucking dirty martinis in. And all of a sudden every single girl, even man, can relate to this. When you're with your best friend and you're getting fucking drunk and then you start to have deep conversations, you get emotional.

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It's kind of beautiful. You love those girl nights where you're like, let's fucking drink. Let's listen to fucking Lana del Rey. Let's pour fucking salt in the wound and let's go there. Lauren's like, I wanna just cry.

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So we start to get really fucked up and we start to just talk about life and to slow down for a minute. To be real with you guys for a minute, Laura and I start to have conversations about like what is New York City to us right now? Because there is no denying the fact that New York City is the greatest fucking city in the world. And that will never fucking change. In my opinion. It is the greatest fucking city.

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However, right now, New York City is not New York City. Everything closes at 10:00. The reason you live in New York is because it's the city that never fucking sleeps. And I find myself going to bed at nine o'clock every night because nothing is open to it. CBS is our clothes. They're not 24 hours anymore. I'm like, how do I go get Cheetos at midnight? OK, you're all right, Joe, dude, chill.

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But on top of, like, joking that it's not New York, there's also an underlying other issue where Lauren just broke up with her boyfriend and every single person listening to this podcast that has ever gone through a breakup, specifically, one that is like years and years and where you lived with this person, where every single day this person is a part of your life, they become your best friend. You know that that doesn't just go away in a second.

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So to end that, Lauren keeps coming back from work and she's like, I literally almost told the cab driver to, like, go to my old apartment like it's fucking with her. She's like, New York is so depressing to me right now. And then I'm over here and I've been saying it. I also, too, kind of went through a breakup in the city. And I feel as though I just need a fucking fresh start. And Lauren is looking at me saying the same fucking thing.

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And we're like, we wish all the people in our past well. We wish them the best of luck. And we hope they fucking thrive and succeed and all the things. But we're both kind of like to take care of ourselves right now. What do we need? And that night is really when the idea was born, we hadn't been thinking about it prior. And Lauren looks at me in a like kind of an interesting look. The eyes were a bit glazed over at this point.

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I wasn't really sure if she even was going to remember that the morning pretty fucking black. How honestly glazed over looks at me, eyes kind of drooling, so slurring at me and goes, Alex.

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Why don't we go to L.A., you said it yourself and one of your blogs, let's be bi coastal bitches, let's just fucking do it. We can do whatever the fuck we want. October 31st, as far as we know, we don't need to be in New York City. Will we come back fucking. Yes, of course. We love the city. But for right now, why don't we take control of our fucking lives, get on a plane and just move like there's no reason for us to not do something that we really feel is the best for us.

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And so daddy gain in that moment, we realized.

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BI coastal bitches, here we fucking come. Now, listen, I think my reservations towards L.A. in the past, I'll be honest, have been like I see the tick talkers and the influencers, and I've never wanted to be like bang energy swipe up. But that's also not who Warren and I are.

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And it doesn't mean that we can't go to L.A. and find our own crowd and fucking find people that aren't constantly having being energy up there buttholes. Like it's fine like and I think that's what we realized. L.A. is like New York, there's neighborhoods. We're going to enjoy it. And so it was funny, though, because LA is the one proposing this idea. And I looked around like Lauren, you've never even been to L.A. Lauren's looking at me.

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She's like, Alex, it's going to be great. We can hike up to see the L.A. I like. We're in freefall. You're talking about the Hollywood sign. There's no L.A. sign. She's like, right, you're right. The Hollywood sign, we're going to drink green juices. We're going to work out. We're going to do yoga.

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I'm like, technically, I'm probably doing the same fucking thing I'm doing in New York and like, sitting on my fucking couch, but the sun will be shining, OK?

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And I feel like there's anything I've taken from Corona and quarantine. It's like you got to just do what makes you fucking happy. Guys, honestly, everybody listening to this, everyone has different financial situations. And I understand me being like I'm uprooting my life and going to L.A. Not everyone can technically do it the way I'm going to do it. But let me also tell you, you can do whatever you want to do. My best friend Lauren right here, she does have a job when we go to L.A., she has no job.

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She's on a job hunt. She's going to continue to be in classes at Columbia with no job. She's quitting her New York job. She's fucking moving across the country and being like, and when I get there, I'm going to get online and trying to find a fucking job.

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It's like, just do whatever the fuck we want to do. But the fun part of this, too, is pretty young.

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I can't help myself. I can't I can't help myself. You're all like, oh, God, here she goes. Content. OK, people. But we fucking live here. Here on call her daddy. And I promise you, you're all like, no, you definitely came up with this. I promise I didn't. Lauren looked at me and goes, Here's the thing, Alex. You and I are very different humans. Are you learn you want to rub it in.

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Lauren is getting her Ph.D. at Columbia. She's successful. She's going to be a fucking psychologist. She's doing all the things. But Lauren looks at me and she goes, we're very different in the sense of I have never been on a proper date with a guy. I started dating my boyfriend in fucking college. I got out of college. I'm in New York City. I've never been on a date with a man I've never been. And I quote and it is shocking.

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Lauren goes, I've never been on a dating app. I need to start taking pictures.

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What are my pictures supposed to look like? What's my bio? Do I unfollow you so no one knows I'm friends with you? Psycho. These are the things that Lauren's like about to jump into the fucking dating pool. And I'm sitting here like, oh, my God, oh my God, this is so fun. Because Lauren has said it to me. She's like, I feel like the dating game. Like I'm in this, too. I'm doing I'm new to dating.

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Here we go. Like, we can enjoy it, too. And Lauren has offered her services.

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And Lauren was like, I would love to actually share with the dating game my journey of like going on my first day. What the fuck do I say? Do I need a fucking earpiece from you, Alex, to be talking in my ear telling me what to do? Now, all of you were like, your God, don't do this to Lauren.

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Guys, have you been listening to the past few fucking weeks? Health and wellness is spewing out of my fucking asshole, OK? I'm not going to do my friend dirty learned. Like, I don't want to be blocking him nine times a day and then leaving him. I'm red. I'm like, totally fair. You'll just leave one red. What's she's like?

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Alex, I can't allow myself. No, but the truth is daddy going. It really feels like I'm turning the page and starting a new goddamn chapter in my life. And I have my childhood best friend right beside me to do it. And it's a little fucking beautiful that we are both fucking single. I don't know when we're going to come back to New York. All I fucking know is we don't have an end date. We both bought one way fucking tickets to L.A. and you better fucking get ready, daddy gang, because you're coming along with us.

[00:15:10]

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[00:16:15]

Again, that is get Roman dotcom slash daddy. All right, that's a gang. Hello, I am about to continue to play the interview that Hannah and I did, like I said last week, we literally blacked out. We couldn't stop speaking. So I'm going to press play on a continuation of what you didn't hear last week. To give you a little idea. We're talking about meeting the parents. We're talking about threesomes, foursomes and that.

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It's funny, guys, because on this week's episode, you'll hear back in the day I was saying to Hannah how I was kind of liking L.A. So you'll hear it's kind of a weird moment where, like, I didn't know it was a foreshadowing. I didn't even know that this bitch was moving. So enjoy the episode, Daddy going. I'm going to pick up where we left off again. To remind you, Hannah is in a full time relationship with a 44 year old fox.

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And I am currently, although I'm juggling a few men, I'm enjoying all the men that I am talking to and we're engaging in health and wellness. All right, let's get into it.

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Are you freaked out by his age? Has anyone asked you that? I feel like it's funny that he so he has a full head of gray hair. If he didn't have gray hair like he does, like a silver fox, he's like a silver fox. Ha.

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He looks like a straight Anderson Cooper. No children, no exes. He speaks three languages. Wait, what's wrong with him. He doesn't have an ex-wife. He made a joke.

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He was like, I'm like a sweater. Like it looks good on the rug and you put it on. It's a little scratchy. And I was like, OK, you need to get more specific, you know, backscratching.

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What? It was scratchy. But I really think what it is, is that his he's a big, big and like Ireland.

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Oh, as a comic, he's so like in Ireland, he's kind of like a celebrity like you did Dancing with the Stars. They're like being in Ireland because he lived there since he was 14. So his his life was traveling back and forth and like from his he was in a relationship from like all of his twenties and then he was just fucking grinding with his career. So he met me at this time where his career is kind of calm down because of quarantine.

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And now it's like and also because we're not the same age, we're not competitive with each other.

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He's literally like, oh, that's good.

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We're a whole different type of comedy. And also he's like, accomplished, accomplished so much. He's like, I don't care about fame. I don't care about money. Like, I just want happiness right now.

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And you're like and I represent happiness. Let's go.

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I'm like, how much money do you have in like what's your net worth then. Like can you show me your W-2? I just want to double check. No, I literally I don't care about it either. But if like if why don't you care. Because you have a lot. No dude I the guy that I'm dating, I'm like I know he's rich but I want to know how much and I'm waiting because like I don't want to be psycho.

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Endless said I'm not superficial but I'm superficial. Like I'm sorry if I'm about to be making a lot of money. Like, I just want to know I want to know what level of success you are. I want to know if you invest. Well, I'm just curious. So I'm wondering, like, at what point do I say, like, how much do you make? I think it's going to happen naturally once he feels like really trusting of you.

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Yeah. Like stealing stuff from his apartment. That would help.

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Oh. What you're stealing is for. It's just weird. Right. I am compulsively stealing from that painting. Just disappear and I'm like, oh but can you afford a new one. Like on all of a sudden I like take the most expensive watch and I'm like, but you can afford a new watch. How many airports do you need?

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I'm going to tell you what I said that made he told all his friends, made him like, really fall for me. OK, and this is a very specific moment. But when you want to finally pay for a guy like, you know, it's like maybe third, fourth date or like you're at a coffee shop. I love whenever it's a cheap thing. I love you. I like you. I love you. Like, I literally we went to a pizza place and I got Coke and he got a slice, I got to say, because I want to stay thick.

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Right. And I go, Babe, I got it.

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I got it. He goes, I sure like I got it. And it's like fifteen dollars and seventy five cents. So you're both of the cash register. No cash register humor is a huge part of relationships. It's just like waiter humor. Like you banter with like the it's like a third.

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Right. A little third bergamot. So you look at the cash register and you give the card right.

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And then you go, he makes me pay for everything. Stone Then you just see their reaction, his reaction. You let it play out, you're fucking with him, you're a devil.

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So that moment he then I heard him on because he goes on podcast. He's a comic, right. Being like when I saw her fuck with me like that, I just knew she was the one to and like obviously this is my sense of humor, but this is so the right guy for you because there are men that would have been like, no, I swear I pay for trying to convince the fucking waiter or whoever that the cashier that like, no, I swear, like, she just I've done it in a well, I kind of chuckle.

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This guy was like, that's a funny thing. Like, I am so in love with her fucking cashier banter that this is the one also kind of joke. I'm like trying to do well in my career. Like, I've really been making money for, like the last year and a half, like actual money as you to fuck. Yes. And so I joke and I'm like, I'm going to be a sugar. Mama and I would joke about it all the time, and then finally he was like, hey, look, I know this is a joke, but like, you know, I have more money than you.

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And you're like, well, again, you want to show me how much you to wear, give me access to the bank account where the taxes, because, I don't know, it could be 750 dollars. I want you to know that's true. It is kind of weird when when it comes to, like, paying for shit in a relationship, like, I think eventually people like always ask, like, how do you like it should be balanced out at some times.

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But like, I don't think that, like, when he pays, I want him to like really want to pay. Yeah. And think about what paying is. It's ultimately like an act of like it's a gift, it's like an emotional things. Like today we went into the city and I was going to go back to my place in Queens. He's like, why don't we just get an apartment?

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I mean, an apartment. We just buy an apartment tonight. Now he's like, why don't we just get a hotel room? And I was like, because I have to do something in the morning. And I was like, cool. And then I go to Hotels.com. So but wait, you bought the hotel and I just got a 125 dollar room because everything's so cheap in New York right now.

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But it was like nice that I just got out and did it because I think I could do that. Right. So, like, the little things you can you do in and then the big boy. Like wild. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. So do those little things. So when he gets a trip he just remembers all those little things. She always gets it. That's a good point. Dating an older guy has its perks and negatives.

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But like don't you feel like.

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No, but I kind of love it until my mom's like oh he's like a man and we and my dad's like, wait so he can deal with your shit and we don't have to like, actually trust him to like I feel I agree. I hate to tell Daddy you listening, but if I could give you any advice and it's just from my personal experience and like I know there are some girls that I know that date guys their age and like, somehow it works.

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I personally always date older man. Yeah. I just feel like I know as crazy and like psycho as I am on this show, obviously.

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And like, I sound like a fucking lunatic also as someone who has a career that they're very driven in. Yeah. Sometimes when you date guys your age, you might not be successful in their career. They won't get hard.

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No, like, I love fucking poor guys because they fuck to have a place to stay that night like they put in another level of effort, like please. But I'm not trying to like date you because like something went wrong, like you couldn't pass chemistry to like and it's great the long term. Yeah. No, no, no.

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But, but older guys are like not intimidated by. Yeah. So that's why it's like kind of worked out for me.

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The progress. No I guess for both of us. Yeah. Like yeah. I'm not where you're are, you are yet but like how do you feel. Well no relationships are the same though honestly. Like I feel kind of happy and it's weird because it's not like a high of like when you had like a good podcast show or like when you got to and you signed the contract and yeah.

[00:24:03]

It's like consistent where I feel like I've been depressed and anxious like a lot in my life. And that was just my thing. Like I just napped all the time. It was just me like nap. And then I'd like complain about it. People would laugh and I'd eat. And like lately I just have this excitement of like being with this person and learning about this person. But I also don't you never know what the future holds, but that's the exciting thing.

[00:24:27]

Like you see yourself through their eyes. Yeah. So if they're making you feel like shit, get the fuck out. But if they're like and if they're just like a yes person to you, you get the fuck out. But he literally like is so honest with me, like tries to make me better. Also I'm sensitive and will tell him when like something hurt my feelings which is good.

[00:24:45]

And we're just we're on a journey. But also I don't really journey. I don't feel like I need a boyfriend in any way.

[00:24:53]

It's more like you want. He's a special person that I don't want to lose and like that's beautiful together. I feel I just feel lucky to have him in my life. I'm disgusting right now, I don't even know who I am. No, this episode is singlehandedly going to put me yet again in the health and wellness section for, like fucking podcasting or I swear to God, I occasionally throw in some help.

[00:25:18]

And they're like, it's for the how I got nominated for the Health and Wellness Section. I'm like, in what world? But I guess, honestly, this is the new world. So we. Have you met his parents?

[00:25:27]

Oh, my God. Fun fact. They're dead, you know. Oh, you.

[00:25:38]

Fun fact, not just a fun fact. I'm like, oh, like they're in there in Ireland or like fun fact like I did or fun fact, they're fucking dead. In fact, I don't have to sit there looking at other listen to them audience right now, looking down on us. She's actually I our first date I got in a fight with my parents and I rarely fight with my parents, but I like it was the first date I'd gone on in like six months.

[00:26:06]

Yeah. And they didn't give a fuck like my dad was like over tea time. And we have to leave half an hour early. And I was like, you've known all week that I won 30 day. They dropped me off at because my driver's license has expired. And that is my fault. I know, however, I need you right now. And he's like the guys are playing it. One day at the date, I was like, Dad, you complain that I'm single and like, I can't find anyone and I'm unable to find someone, help your you.

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And you don't give a fuck about your daughter finding love. Is there anything more important in your life? Like, yeah, I think I need two time, so and there's like rushing me out of the house. I like I pick jeans when I should not have picked jeans. It was a hot day. I was like groyne sweating. So I'm all fucking I literally before I leave the car, I go, fuck you both. I walk out like I never fight with them like that.

[00:26:51]

I'm fuming. I get on this ferry to go see my man, my friends and I get in the car and I immediately feel really comfortable with him. I'm just like my dad almost fuck this up because of a tee time. And I'm like, I'm so annoyed with him, but I'm going to be in a good mood for this date. Hi, I'm Hannah. Nice to meet you.

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And he looks at me and he goes, At least your parents are alive. And I know this dude just made a dead parents joke within like five minutes of meeting, I love you. I think I'm in where you kind of like we are they actually dead? Are you fucking with me? And he's like, they're dead. They're dead. And like his dead dark sense of humor turned me on so much.

[00:27:27]

I like now my jeans are soaking wet from sweat and pussy juice. Yeah. And then while we have a joke, we're like, we'll meet new people.

[00:27:37]

I'm like, please don't talk about your dad, mom, like in the first five minutes, just like don't lay it on and be so morbid when you just had fun. Fact, I actually lost my job like whoa, that is like darn my buddy. Amazing comedian Nikki Glaser had this whole bit where she was like, I'm trying to find a man with a dead mom. And I was like, why? And she's like, because I want to be the number one woman in his life and not have any competition.

[00:28:01]

I'm like, you are a sick fuck, you're sick.

[00:28:02]

Fuck her. I've never met you. You're sick. Fuck it. I love it.

[00:28:07]

I mean, I would love to meet his mom to be like, oh, his mom likes my however, he's met my parents, they like him. And then like that was that does he have siblings.

[00:28:17]

He does. I've met his brother. Oh. How did that go. It was good. His brother taught you.

[00:28:23]

You made like a weird face. Me. I'm like, why are you smirking like his brother? That's, you know, like three his two brothers. And they're all like, gorgeous.

[00:28:31]

And yeah. So I met this guy's parents, but it was it wasn't supposed to happen. How did he introduced you? OK, well, I had been in his house and they were coming by to, like, drop off some fucking baked goods. Like, were you just listening to this story?

[00:28:49]

Did you have a thought? Right next to you? Right up. OK, so we are getting ready to go to Malibu. We were going to go to the beach. You're so old and I am so L.A. guys like, hello, and I am wearing whore vibes because I'm like I wouldn't worry about like hanging out together like little bikini. I'm like wearing this like slutty ass out there. He's like, yo. So you're about to meet my parents because they're driving by to drop off some stuff.

[00:29:11]

And I'm like, excuse me. I'm like blinking like huh. I'm like looking down at my tits out. I'm like, sorry, what I go I did like ninety seven degrees in L.A. I run into the bedroom, I put a sweater on, I put a sweater, I put a fucking sweater that's like up my neck like not a turtleneck but like up the neck, like you don't even know my fucking body looks like OK. And then I did baggy shorts but I walk outside and it's like covid.

[00:29:37]

So they're like kind of staying in the car. Your dad gets out and I'm standing there and I'm like staring at them. And so like my voice is like a little like I like being so sweet. Like I'm like I am the definition of like like a girl. You're just dainty flower. So it is cool. I know they know about my show and I'm like, oh, I like him. He's really sweet. He plays like a really good cat, like I really like him and like thank you so much for the big good cycle later.

[00:30:02]

Well I'm like praying in my Bible and they're like staring at me inside my sweater on. I am sweating. All of my voice was amazing. Bitch. Alex, I'm like, I'm losing my shit. So I'm staring at them and the mom and I are talking and she's in the car and the dad is out there staring at me and I'm standing there, my fucking sweater, and I'm sweating my balls up. And he's kind of like not even paying attention.

[00:30:21]

And I'm like trying to be in, like, Bible study, you know, about the podcast. And they've listened a little bit to some of them that he was in. And I just you know, it's a bit it's a bit like I'm a virgin. I'm like you guys, it's literally scripted. And like, I, I don't even write it. I don't even write it. I just still, like, has forced me to stay here and say these words that I don't even know what it means.

[00:30:45]

Never given a blowjob like I my mouth is too small. Like I don't know you by the way. I'm rich. I'm also I'm rich. I'm not using your fucking phone, which by the way, the mom end up saying, like, I like that she has her own shit going on.

[00:30:56]

Like, I like that she doesn't need your finances.

[00:30:59]

Oh, you have a health and wellness podcast that one must love, that you are changing the lives of people's wellness. Thank you. I'm in the category with Oprah. I mean, bitch, come at me. So it ended up going well and I like really killed it. And I was just thinking like a hometown sweet, cute girl. And then afterwards they ended up telling him they were like, she is so fucking sweet. And then I got back into the fucking house, ripped my fucking shirt off, put my tits back out.

[00:31:24]

I headed up to Malibu, a commercial commercial break. There were rumors there were really, really dark, twisted rumors that I once resembled something of a broom, I was broom adjacent straw like brittle to the bone function of beauty came into my life and bitches, it was never the motherfucking same guys.

[00:31:52]

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Go to a function of beauty dotcom daddy to take your four part hair quiz and save twenty percent off your first order. Again, that is a function of beauty dotcom slash daddy for twenty percent off. Have you had to talk about any of the exes conversation?

[00:32:58]

Like have you had X conversations with him. What a great question because I am in the thick of it. What a great question. So I came in. He already knew my ex who was in the comedy community with him. Right. And then I was also at a house with one of my exes.

[00:33:15]

So he already was like, I don't want to hear a thing about it. Yeah, but it's like I know who they are. We don't. But my thing is I'm like such an open book where I'm like, I had these relationships and this guy fucked me up and that upset me. And this is everything that happened to me. And now you know everything. And he's like he literally is like, I don't want to hear it. That's so mean.

[00:33:34]

They don't want to hear don't want to hear it. It's like no he's told me about is like one really serious relationship, like one in depth about it. But he has this thing which is actually quite smart but quite annoying. Well, you know, when you ask questions like have you ever had a threesome or like, would you lose your virginity, like that kind of thing? Right. I actually might.

[00:33:51]

He won't he won't play the game with me. But I did. I told him, I said, how do you lose your virginity? And the way he told this story about this girl, him, Emily had a little too much emotion for me and your life.

[00:34:04]

And I literally go love her.

[00:34:05]

Then why don't you go fuck Emily? Then he goes, she's forty five with children. I lost my oldest twenty years ago. Like I like jokingly every now and then I'd be like, oh, you didn't answer, were you talking to Emily? And it's an inside joke, but he's like, if you can't handle right, you lose my virginity when I was 11 or 12 or whatever you goes, how am I supposed to tell you about anything?

[00:34:26]

So he just doesn't tell me shit anymore. He's smart. But I actually realized like that not knowing is hard, but I think it's actually so healthy for us because I just see him as this clean slate who in my head he said sucks the girl Emily once and this relationship that is like so over, but it makes him like easier to be around. He's smart. He's a smart fucking man for doing that. And also you are so me like the Emily comment, the amount of times I'm like, oh, were you talking to fucking Emily?

[00:34:54]

And he's like Alex. Like, I literally just told you that the girl I lost my virginity to twenty years ago and I'm like, why are you here two years ago, really? I think she's she's like married with a family, like when he's on work called and he's like, yeah, I was talking to like Cassidy. And I'm like, wow, does Cassidy suck your dick the way I do? He's like, I look, I like to jokingly be jealous, but but it also kind of like, oh, my God, everyone can relate when you ask for the story.

[00:35:21]

And like you said with men, if there's a little too much emotion, all of a sudden you're like, hold on. I asked for the story, but I didn't ask for the emotion. Do you still love her? Do you still like her? Now, let's talk. We have there's so many more questions, but it also slightly turns me on when I hear about girls wanting to fuck him. So I'll try to do that sometimes. And he's like, this is a trap.

[00:35:39]

And I go, No, no. I'd be like, so what years did you like on the road? Have the most sex? And he'll be like, not telling you I to shut the fuck up. Yeah. He's so mature. It's so annoying. But I but and then he'll like occasionally make little comments like yeah. I heard too much fun that, that trip and you're like please elaborate. Yeah. Shut up and go shut up.

[00:35:56]

I, I want to know all the things and like I told the daddy on my podcast when I was in L.A., I literally sat there with him and I was like, show me everything.

[00:36:04]

You're like, I want a Venn diagram. No, I want a PowerPoint of every girl with their Instagram. Like, how many? I'll find them or you can give them to me. It's either one you prefer. This is your choice. Look, do you want to do it the hard way or the easy way? And I sat with him at a dinner and I had him show me every single girl.

[00:36:20]

How diverse do you prefer them to? How do you prefer them to look? The exes like what's the best scenario? Well, the unfortunate thing is they look all like me. No, I think that's a great thing.

[00:36:30]

It means you're his fuck. And type makes sense, he's like, if a guy's only dated bonds and he dates me, you're like him. You're like, am I? Are we? So do you want a guy?

[00:36:42]

If we end and he doesn't dated guy, a girl that looks just like me after, I'm like, wow, he fucked with me.

[00:36:48]

But if he dates a girl just like me, I go, he was obsessed with me.

[00:36:52]

And I'm so it's you know, I literally look exactly like his last two girlfriends, like, yo, we look like. So it makes sense.

[00:36:58]

So it makes sense. He only likes blondes but. I think that I've been there like I am, I am self sabotaging, I want to know everything you're you're trying to hurt your own feelings. I want it to be so hurtful that I'm, like, crying on the phone with him and he gives me because he's, like, honest. Yeah. Because one of them is still trying to contact him. So he's been honest about it. And I'm over here like.

[00:37:24]

I don't know, I think I'm just being a little self sabotaging, that's like the not healthy part of me right now, like I love I love to see my man, maybe because he's a little older and maybe as experienced today is like, no, I'm not going to indulge you.

[00:37:37]

Well, the issue is that I think with my podcast, it sucks. But I do have a lot of girls like eventually reach out and stupid shit like that. And like, she was shitting on my show to him.

[00:37:45]

And so it's just like I just want to be in the know that's my thing. Like I tell this to all my boyfriends. I'm like, I want to know if it can't be all you need to know. Yeah. Or like a recent thing it's important to know. Yeah. However, like you don't you don't need to know every single girl he's ever dated. Like how far they also like my date 44. Right. Like that's a yeah.

[00:38:05]

Yeah. Like holy shit. Do you have a few days. Like, like whoa. OK, no that's true. That's true. I like, I want a guy that girls want to be with me too. But I don't want to know emotions and stuff of any kind but I do like that. He told me that I'm the first girl he ever fucked with his soul.

[00:38:22]

So fighting it honestly this is the thing. And I've always said it. And I think no matter what, even if I get to do a healthy relationship, this is going to happen. Conflict is good at times to bring resolution to bring you closer to then you're like, I'm more in love with you. Yes. And I've had multiple, multiple fights with this man that then at the end he's like, I am. I'm just like, I love you.

[00:38:47]

Like I said, I've never fought with it's missing something because you don't fucking care.

[00:38:52]

I had whole relationships where I never fought just because I didn't care enough. I and but if you're always fighting then it's like so huge. No, you have to become good at fighting, like you have to become a couple that when they fight you know how to fight and fight healthy and fight well and move the fuck on. Tell me about your fucking fighting situation.

[00:39:10]

OK, so we for the first time, like little things, we will just say quiet like unnerved us or something.

[00:39:16]

I like that you but you like are very verbal when something's bothering you.

[00:39:20]

You guys feel like he will after a phone call, like once he's texting me be like by the way, like I just wanted to let you know that when you talked about like this, it kind of bothered me. Right. Which is so and but I'm good. But like I like in the future, just don't. And then I responded and was just like, I am so sorry. I was such like an unnecessary story, but like I thought was funny and I realized I was so not funny.

[00:39:41]

And then afterwards he's like, I didn't even need a text you that. But like, I'm happy I did.

[00:39:45]

OK, that is number one. I think that's also I was just growing up because in the past I would usually if they said something, I would save it and like backlog it and be like, OK, that bothered me. And then you, like, use it against it, against them. Meanwhile, I've been doing the same thing. Just bring it up immediately when it's bothering.

[00:40:01]

I have some unhealthy fighting tactics that I wrote down in the car. Bring them. Do you know what they say? I think this is an old Dane Cook joke, but like when you immediately just start agreeing with everything they're saying in a sarcastic way. Right. And you're just like, oh, my God, you're so right. Why haven't I, however, not seen that I've been so wrong this whole time? Yeah. You're so smart. Yes.

[00:40:20]

And then, like, when it's done, you, like, under your breath, say, the most passive aggressive mean thing, like you're stupid, like your father or something, you know, actually agreeing.

[00:40:30]

I could see a man being like, so please. Oh totally. Yeah, I was. How how could I have gotten so mad when you fucked that girl? That was so crazy. That was insane. Then if you're dating an older guy, the thing to piss them off the most during a fight is literally just check your phone.

[00:40:48]

Oh, fuck. Literally check your phone and just be like on the phone. And he's like, can you get off your phone for five? And like, oh my God, Sarah, my friend is so funny. Show me the funniest meme. You wouldn't get it because you're old. It's really funny. So you're like literally ain't you never know. That's how it's like highbrow meme humor that you what it's like referencing another me. It's like a meta meme thing.

[00:41:07]

You know what I mean is we got that one you then you can just like drag his ass to his face like just like let it all fucking out.

[00:41:14]

I, I've done that and like well this is the thing when you're dating an older guy. It was so interesting because I tried to do my old tactics were like if we were getting in a fight, sometimes I will just literally hang up on them and then just put my phone down and, like, walk into a different room and, like, not answer them for so long. So I did that to him and then but I started to face him.

[00:41:30]

Door number three, right after I hung up on him, I was so fucked up, I was literally hammered and I was like, oh my feels. And I went door number three because he can't make me feel to remember three does. And then he kept calling me and text music. I will not put up with this fucking immature shit. You do not hang up on me in the middle of a conversation. So then I'm like, door number three, I'll call you right back.

[00:41:48]

Look, sorry, my mom's calling me. Hang up on him, call him, then call the other one back. And I'm like high. And he's like he literally it was kind of the hardest thing he's ever done. He looks at me on FaceTime and he was like, I just want to be very fucking clear. I understand you're upset, but I will not put up with this fucking immature bullshit of you fucking hanging up and then deleting and ignoring my calls.

[00:42:08]

Not but you know what this is? You're in the power struggle phase where you're trying to see how much you could fuck with him. And he's telling you, you can't know. And then if you decide that you're going to listen to him, that means that you guys can move forward. Right. But if you don't, then you fucking break up. It's honestly like one of those where I'm like, OK, no. We did, and then I'm just going to roll it back a little bit.

[00:42:25]

Yeah, there are times where now I'll ignore him a little bit, but I'm not going to lie. So he knows about door number three. He knows because I'm like, you are open about it on this part. I know. And his mom knows. No. Yeah.

[00:42:36]

And he's he's asked me about him and he's and door number three knows about this guy. Yeah. You yeah.

[00:42:44]

You haven't evolved as much as you thought, but but I think it's good that I'm being honest. Yes. That I'm fighting them. They both know about each other and they both know that I'm just kind of like you're just doing it's the bachelor but called Color Daddy and it's the Who. But I'm just too. Yeah, both real relationships and they're both honestly genuine. You literally have two boyfriends.

[00:43:06]

I do love that. That hop to the fuck. Who do you like fucking better. I think that the history with door number three will always be there, but I think long term, I'm starting to freak myself out because I think that, like day to day life moving forward, I could actually see with this other guy. So just go fuck me. Right.

[00:43:25]

So fighting tactics. So we're just growing up. Well, the final fighting tactic to always win. Always, always win. All right. Just cry, just cry, just cry, do it. It's so funny. It's true. And if you don't do it often. Yeah, don't cry all the time, don't you? Do you lose power? I cried crying when I cried to this guy.

[00:43:46]

He literally was like, Alex, like, I will get on a plane. I'm so sorry. Like I want to come see you. And I'm like, all right, I'm not actually fucking crying.

[00:43:53]

How you started is you start being like, if it's on the phone, then he goes, are you crying? You go, No, no. And he goes, and you keep talking.

[00:44:00]

And you're just like, and then you, like, spit up your words. Like, I just like you. And he's like, you're crying, not crying. I never fucking. Yeah, you always say, I never believe this shit. And then he's like, I'm sorry to cry. Like, you know, you have to say you could just say, like, I just like do have words. And then immediately and then immediately, I don't even know everybody.

[00:44:24]

I don't know. I'm just going to go like we'll talk tomorrow. And he's like, no, no, no girls. It is true. Just cry. But if you overdo it then he's like the fucking girl that cried wolf.

[00:44:32]

Yes. So those are the fighting tactics and there's healthier ones and others. So use your own. Yeah. Learn how to balance them. When you want to be fucking psycho, you just agree with everything you him like. You're fucking just gone behind the eyes.

[00:44:45]

Yeah. Oh yes. And then if you make up, you have the make up sex and that cycle of abuse is sometimes pleasurable.

[00:44:54]

You know, honestly, it's one of my favorite things, my favorite cycle ever. No, it's true.

[00:45:01]

No commercial break for an opportunity to look down at your fucking pants and let me know. Let me fucking know who's wearing khakis. Who the fuck is wearing khakis today? Take them off, Alex. I'm in public. Don't care. Take them the fuck off, guys. We don't wear khakis. You don't call her daddy if you have to for your work, fine. But out of the fucking workplace, there is no exception. Guys, stitch, fix.

[00:45:24]

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[00:45:25]

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[00:46:17]

Again that is stitch fix dotcom. Daddy, I have a really random.

[00:46:23]

Thought for you about three sons. Oh, yeah, and foursomes. Yeah, this is so strange. OK. I have been in relationships before where I'm like, I will never have a threesome with you, I will never have a foursome with you, get the fuck out of my face because I was just too much in the relationship, too far down. I'm at a weird place right now, and I have never in my life really thought about this.

[00:46:45]

I've had a threesome before. I've never had a foursome. I enjoyed myself. It was with another girl and then a guy. But it was he was kind of he's just like a pig. So like I just was like it was like fun, but it wasn't anything like, I need to do this again. Yeah. Then with this new guy, he's so sexual. And we've had conversations about like it's the first real relationship that I've been so like sexually pushing the limits.

[00:47:16]

Like he pushes me to the limits and he's like, would I want to do everything with you? Because it makes me even if we do shit that's wild, like you like, whatever it is, it makes us closer.

[00:47:29]

So we've been talking about possibly like while we're traveling because we're like, you can't do it in your bed at home. No traveling or like in your neighborhood.

[00:47:39]

No, you're like walking the dog. Like she looks kind of cute, like, hey, come on over here and you go to like no. So he travels a lot for work and we maybe going to like a different country together. And he was like, it could be hot. Like if we're like out one night and we you go pick someone up and then like we bring them back. And I've been thinking about it. It's early enough in the relationship that if it's ever going to happen, it would have to be now.

[00:48:03]

So that, like, I would have to see like, did I like or will it be a thing that if you do like it, do you think it would be part of your relationship like or like a holiday?

[00:48:13]

He said, is like if you hated it, he was like, I'm down to do it with another guy or another girl. It's down to you. Like you pick the person he was like, and I want you to pick them because it's more so I want you to have sex with industry. Some that like I want you to be attracted to the guy. And he was like I or the girl I want you to pick. It's not even for me because I will be more turned on.

[00:48:33]

If you are having sex with this girl and having such like it's so hot, like I don't even have to fuck her, like whatever whatever you want.

[00:48:39]

It's all perspective. And he's making you see things in a new light because he's like and if we hate it, we never have to do it again. But it will be an experience that we talk about.

[00:48:46]

We're like, oh, that's so free and open, Hannah. And you're like a type of bitch you like. So I'm like, oh, they're not logistically, how does this work? Like, does she sign an NDA? Like what? Has he done that a lot. So I asked him, you know, he said I've I had a threesome with one of my exes, but then my most recent ex wasn't down for it because, like, she had some, like, family shit that she wasn't down to have threesomes, like, traumatized her.

[00:49:10]

Some, I don't know. Yeah. So he was like but he was like, I don't know what it is but about to go in my family, like my family.

[00:49:17]

It's like you're like my. I have three brothers and sisters. My number three, I. It's like a fucking my brother, like why it's going on. This is the question I am going to admit I have never done cocaine before. Oh, where are we going?

[00:49:37]

I think that going to bring back good because I never had a threesome like I doing a comedy shows.

[00:49:46]

People are just like give me cocaine because I just seem like a cocaine girl. Everyone thinks I played you cause whatever. I just feel like if I did cocaine, I'd bash my head into a wall and ruin the party. Precisely. Not that there's not a lot. And people are like, kind of why haven't you done cocaine? And I'm like, I'm 29 if I do it and I don't like it, I have a terrible night. If I do it and I do like it now, I love cocaine.

[00:50:08]

That's why I like it. So now I bring it back to life. And I think, like, if you do it and you don't like it, it's like possibly traumatizing. And if you do it and do like it now, you want to see threesomes all the time. No know. Like, does this complicate your life? No. OK, in a weird way, you know, weird fucking way.

[00:50:29]

This is a great conversation.

[00:50:30]

Hannah, I. Never thought about it going if I was going to go into a relationship with a man, I really didn't think like this can't be that healthy for some reason. We are so sexually open with each other, but also even like sexual, she you want to experience life with you in all different ways. Oh, that's right. And it's a very sexual person.

[00:50:54]

It's interesting because my guy has done the same thing where he's just like, I want to try everything with you and make you come in so many different ways. And the fact that he said, bring a dude in, I kind of love that.

[00:51:05]

Right, because deep down, like, I would love to have a threesome with two guys. OK, would you I, I kind of think I would be down. I like and he literally texted me after it was like I like after we were talking about like having a threesome with two dudes, like I now can't stop masturbating to like watching like DPE porn because I'm thinking about like me and a guy fucking you and like there's just something about it that's turning me on too much.

[00:51:27]

And literally I'm over here like, well, I wasn't thinking about doing that this fucking upcoming December for Christmas, but now I'm like, OK, now I have to stretch out my ass literally. Like I'm straight up being like, am I about to have, like, a fucking threesome with two dudes and this guy? And then he's also like, it's so cute, because then he's like, I love I think he's like, but I could be the one like, say, if we like if you wanted to get like tied down and there's to the two of us, like if I'm going to like, like skull fuck you, like if one of us is going to have our you're like, where are you going.

[00:51:58]

Like I'll be the one to do it so that like you can tell me if it's like hurting or whatever, like Skold know like when you're laying down and a guy is like on top of you straddling you, shoving his dick into you and like you can't like it's like a lot. Yeah. Well how do you spell at school. Go ask you. Oh skull. Skull like your skull. Skull. Fuck. I thought you said school. School, school.

[00:52:19]

Did we go to school Daddy. I think it's just for the first time in my life I'm like, oh my God, I want to try all these. And it's different with him.

[00:52:28]

And he's older. When you think of like having sex in college with two guys, there's that stereotype of like, oh, you're a ho. Yeah. You just had two guys run run radio. We're now it's like your boyfriend is like, let's find the hottest guy and like let's like be obsessed with your body and see how many ways we can turn you on for your pleasure. Like literally why wouldn't we. I know.

[00:52:51]

And I feel like I'm coming to this weird. I think it's because he is older. He is so confident in his sexuality. So it's turning me the fuck on. And now I'm trying to figure out what am I about to go. I think a foursome with another couple could be so fucking hot. Well, I was thinking swinging is a very popular thing. I know, but I'm not a swinger. But now here I am. Swing, swing, beat.

[00:53:12]

I don't know. I don't know what's going on. He's making me want to do all the things. And I'm like, oh, my God. Well, it's also there's so much turning on that happens when someone else if someone was like that fucking pebble turns me on, suddenly I'm into that. But I'm yeah. You're like and you're like grinding. I like bubbles, right. I'm like a rock girl now. I just I bring a rock in like we have a boulder now, like it's I don't give a fuck.

[00:53:37]

Right. I'm using a lot of metaphor. It's good.

[00:53:39]

However, like I was talking to does, I mentioned it because you were texting me about it and he was like, I mean, it's not really my thing. Right.

[00:53:45]

So like if he had said in that moment, like, oh, I would I was like, I want to hear some emotion. Like, wanna hear that? Oh, like, you know, it sounded like. Oh yeah. Then then it turns me on but like I'm not buying into I'm like, no, we're not doing it, why fuck around.

[00:53:59]

But you know what, in my past two, I think having a threesome with a guy for me in my mind it's always been like it's for him. But for the first time in my life, this guy is like, no, this would be for us and for you. Like, I don't even need to fuck her. Like, I would love to watch a bitch, like, eat you out and like, you get your pussy in by her and then, like, I'll fuck you and like, you guys can be like and I'm like, but what if you have another couple?

[00:54:20]

And during it you're like, oh my God, is there chemistry better than mine? You're like, oh my God, is she better at sucking his dick? Like is his dick bigger than his. Yeah, that's that's why I'm I'm like, why am I overseeing things? I think things I think that I can be a jealous person if I really like you, that I can be. And I'm like, oh fuck. Honestly, Daddy, I'll keep you updated.

[00:54:39]

But like we're going on vacation together.

[00:54:43]

That's like millennials love going on early vacation. Yeah. Like, my parents are always like, that's the total honeymoon and why are you doing so early? But it's another thing where you go on vacation and see how he acts when he's waiting in lines, see how he acts when like some reservation gets cancer. Right. See how he acts when you guys have nothing to do for three hours before the next dinner. I'm like, what are we doing?

[00:55:05]

Exact. So I kind of love that for you.

[00:55:07]

I kind of do, too. And I feel like I'm going to get a dick in my asshole this trip and I'm not prepared for it. He keeps saying he wants to do anal with me and I'm like, I'm so scarred and for the first time my life because I haven't done it since the one time that I passed out in college. And I feel like I'm about to have anal in this resort.

[00:55:23]

So are you are you trying to be his girlfriend at some point or is just naturally happening? Like, what's our plan, I think?

[00:55:32]

Or do we not have a plan? No one else wants to play anymore. I don't what do I do? I think my plan is that I like where this is going. Treating me like a princess. But I've let him know with the show and my life right now, like, I can't put a label on anything, but I want to keep acting like we're acting. And I don't know if that's healthy.

[00:55:49]

You're saying you cannot have a boyfriend while hosting her daddy? No, I think I could. I'm just saying right now in my career and like, I've got a lot of shit going on. I just don't know if I can. I think I could have a boyfriend, but I don't know if I'm there yet because I think I have a lot of shit to work on with myself. And then I fucking door number three, like, I would have to close that door and like, that's a there's a lot that I have to like.

[00:56:11]

Do you know what happens when you close doors?

[00:56:13]

Another one opens, you're like, open your legs open and you get a ring on your finger, you stupid bitch. Like, I don't know. I think I honestly think it's the first relationship that I could actually see long term.

[00:56:23]

So I'm like, don't put pressure on it. Because my question is, with all I know, we're not supposed to play games.

[00:56:27]

But with all these, like, sexual escapades, do you wait for, like a little more of a commitment before you're like giving him your butthole, like putting in other couples, giving him I love you say giving him the butthole. Like, do we wait?

[00:56:41]

For the first time in my life, I feel like I used to be so calculated. Yeah. How when I'm going to have sex with them, when I'm going to do this one, I'm going to do that. I used to never fuck them until like three months in and it was insanity. I Jesus, I know I was a nightmare. Trust me, now I'm sitting here and I'm like, fuck the rules.

[00:56:58]

I kind of want to do it. So why don't I do it? Why don't I get my fucking asshole penetrated in a fucking different country in a couple of weeks? That sounds exciting to me. And, you know, but I can't give any asshole. Yeah. And it's like, well, if you want to, then why not? Well, it goes back to, like, what I'm doing with my boyfriend. And as in, if it's not going to work out, like if I'm going to be having diarrhea the whole fucking day, just dripping because you want to hide.

[00:57:23]

Let's just figure out now. Let's just do it. Why why all the anticipation and waitering and anxiety. Let's do it now and figure it out. If it fucking works right, will you be able to handle me in my diarrhea state or not? Are you loving L.A.? I think. I think I am, but you know what I think it is, when I first started going to L.A., I have to admit that I thought and I'm just being honest, the girls that I see on Instagram, I just was like, I'm not interested in being a part of that.

[00:57:55]

I know I may look that way on Instagram, but I don't think I know my Instagram is the same as theirs.

[00:58:00]

However, I know I look exactly like them and I know I look so fake on Instagram. However, let me just get to my point.

[00:58:07]

I think that L.A. scared me to ever move there because I was like, I just don't want to be like going to those fucking like Popi or Craig's or whatever the fuck they are, like going out with, like, all the insta hoes. Then I think when I met this guy and I've been introduced to his life and he's a little bit older, it's like in the industry, but not in a flashy way. He's the most private person. And then I'm meeting his friends and like they're going to stay there for the weekend and they're going to I think there's so many different scenes, just like New York City.

[00:58:32]

And I thought there was only one.

[00:58:33]

And I was like I was the same. I'm New York girl from Brooklyn and I just shot on L.A. all the time. And then I went to L.A. and I kind of I saw, like, there's so many positives also. There's a challenge to it. Like, I went in an elevator with a bunch of people and were standing there and for like three minutes it didn't move. No one remembered to press the floor because, like, everyone's fucking high.

[00:58:55]

And I was like, this would never happen in New York and New York. People would be like, I'll kill your family, bro. Make a move that doesn't move. I will blow this place. They're so chill. But I was making fun of, like, the aesthetic. We're like, there is this Instagram filter where it really fucks up your face to look like a actual reptile.

[00:59:13]

Oh, there's every time I go on Instagram and look at the filters, I'm like, this is so fucked that this is even legal. Like this is fucking kids up. So I put one on and I go, this is how girls left in L.A. and I didn't move my face and I just go and I thought it was so funny.

[00:59:27]

And then some girl goes, Do you this is not like representative of girls in L.A. This is fucked up. This isn't true. Also, you need to get Invisalign and pluck your eyebrows. And I said, if that's not the most L.A. comedy I've ever fucking heard, your like, you literally are like she's like, stop making L.A. look bad. Also get Invisalign. You're like, oh, my fucking phone. Are you commenting on my looks while also saying L.A. isn't all about looks, bitch.

[00:59:55]

Fuck you. Wait, that's wrong.

[00:59:57]

Yeah. And then so like L.A. hasn't he hasn't come. Yeah. There's definitely pros and cons and I think that like it's just a part of me thinks maybe relocating and just living somewhere else, like being near a beach and just like being around a different group of people may be helpful because I do have like really weird memories being in New York City still.

[01:00:17]

How do you like not dating an athlete? I kind of love it. Isn't it so nice.

[01:00:20]

And I have to deal with the ups and downs of like, oh, did you strike out, you know, like it is take it out on everyone around the game. Oh, shut the fuck up. I don't care.

[01:00:30]

And honestly, I know it's fucked, but it is so attractive to me that, like, this guy, like, understands what I'm doing.

[01:00:37]

And like, we can talk about work together and it's like fun because it's also our lives. And like, I couldn't do that a lot of times with athletes. And I also think that I'm not going to lie. I have been having and I listen, I love a lot of the guys that I dated that were athletes, but I'm getting to a point my career, we're like it's just the beginning for me and a lot of them, it's coming to the end for them and it ends at thirty.

[01:00:55]

And then it's like, so where do I'm going to go through an identity crisis where they feel like losers are like at least the rest of their life?

[01:01:02]

A lot, no, but literally a lot of them that have wives during their careers, then they always have a second wife because they get divorced once when the games and then they're sitting there and they're they're like, what do I do now? And then they want, like a new thing and they go get a new woman and they always have second wives. Oh, I mean, this is dark.

[01:01:18]

This is dark. But you're being very honest. Yeah. And I think dating a guy who understands what you do is integral because you're always going to do what you're going to do. Yeah. And you can't be like editing around and changing things for.

[01:01:29]

Well, No one. I think like it's obviously I don't talk about a lot in the podcast, but at the end of the day, like what? Where this there's no light. This is a huge podcast. It's one of the biggest podcasts. And so dating me right now, I'm not going to like it. I don't think it's easy for men. So I need to have a guy that is super competent and also, though, respects what I'm doing and doesn't look at it like it's just a sex podcast.

[01:01:48]

So much more than that. Oh, preach much.

[01:01:51]

Are we growing up?

[01:01:52]

We are adults. I know. I do pronounce it. Adults are the adults. OK, whatever you say. So so I guess this is this is the new journey I, I pray to fucking God next time I have you on you are not like. So we broke up. I wonder I mean an epic episode, I mean it would be like, like I said it was the best sex I've had.

[01:02:13]

I faked it. I that I think I do it, it's honestly it's like yeah you're right. Like I. Who knew. We didn't know that it would, we would both find cool guys and like we would be in a situation. But I think like it just shows like anything can happen. So who knows. You could be broken up or you could be fucking married. Who knows.

[01:02:30]

All right, Daddy King. That is it for this week's episodic, huh? I'm feeling a little excited to put on a motherfucking bikini. Make sure you guys go. Follow me on Instagram, because I'm going to make the man knows he I was like, listen to me, you will be taking so many pictures of my asshole on the beach. And in exchange, you can take a few behind the scenes in the bedroom. He's like, I don't want to know.

[01:02:59]

He was like, OK, I got it. I got it. People, listen, if you date me, you got to know your fucking place. You're going to take a couple of fucking bikini pictures of me if we're on a nice fucking resort. So go follow me on Instagram if you want to go see my asshole. Very exclusive content, guys. Also, go follow Hannah. Her Instagram is being Bern's, but you spell it being and then Burns is B-R and Z also.

[01:03:23]

Guys, go make sure you follow and you subscribe to Burning in Hell. The episode next week with Hannah is going to be fucking bomb. I'm pretty sure it's going to be also another two part series. And there's a couple there's a couple announcements I want to let you all aware of, although there's not an episode next week on the caller Daudi channel the next episode. That is coming out for call her daddy. Is the one 100th episode. And the guests that I'm having on.

[01:03:58]

I truly never thought would come on this podcast. I truly, truly, in my heart of hearts, never thought that this guest would come on and they are coming on. So get fucking ready, Daddy, because that that is going to be a good fucking time, Daddy, getting, you know, the fucking drill. I love you so fucking much and I will see you motherfuckers next month just.