Everybody, Conan O'Brien here to remind you that we have an election coming up in a matter of weeks, it has never been more important to vote and make your voice heard. I know that people are probably starting to tune out when they hear these pleas, but there is so much riding on this election and your votes important. Get out and vote. Make a plan to vote, whether that means mailing in your ballot, voting early or going in person to vote.

I've been around a long time and it's never been more important than this election to vote. However you feel the vote go to when we all vote dog to check your voter registration status and to get all the relevant information to help you make a voting plan that works best for you. Please do this for yourself.

Hi, my name is Jim Parsons, and I feel OK about people saying that me and Conan O'Brien are friends.

Wait a minute. Did you talk to a lawyer first to clear this? No. No. Yes. But I mean, you know. Back to school, ring the bell and who's walking, walking on the. I can do anything I can to let me go. Hello there and welcome to Conan O'Brien, needs a friend I'd like to say welcome once again or welcome back. Assuming you've been here before, but maybe not. Maybe this is your first time listening to the show.

And if that's the case, where have you been? That's not the way to welcome you. Really? Probably not. Where have you been? No, I probably shouldn't say that. I'm joined as always by my assistant sort of session. Hi, Conan. OK, let's ramp up the enthusiasm next time. And of course, producer extraordinaire Matt Gallie. How are you? Hi, Conan. Yeah, that's better. You just get angry if we're we're not chipper and enthusiastic.

Wait, did you did anyone else hear that I lost the audio on you for a second. Sonand you at all slow like.

Oh no, I'm well, I'm in the dressing room. The Wi-Fi here is OK, we got to talk about this because you just introduced what I think is the topic, which is what used to make this podcast. And it was so simple. We'd all get in a room and then Cher would come in and she'd do the pod.

Oh, don't do that. Don't joke. That's not a joke. Serious. A serious note is I'm saying someone of Cher's caliber would come in the room. But Cher has not been on this podcast yet, which is she's getting a travesty. She's asked many times and I've said you should get her on for Sona. That would be nice. She is an Armenian hero and I would love to have Sharon. Cher is an icon. Cher has not been on the podcast or even know that she's out promoting anything.

I don't know what the deal is. The point is, let's not get lost on Cher. You took us down the wrong road. I just said Cher is an example. You could have used so many other examples of people who've actually been on the show.

OK, well, another famous Armenian, let's say we'd get we'd get together and Dr. Kevorkian would come and we sit and we would chat with Dr. Kevorkian and but anyway, he'd be in the same room with us.

And then Dr. Kevorkian would leave. He'd get in his van and he he'd go take people to the other side and then we'd move on and then we'd do the ads and that would be the show. But now, because of quarantine and Zoome and everybody being in different locations, it's gotten very complicated, has it not? Seona It has. Like right now we're at Largo, which is where you shoot your show, right? Largo Theater in West Hollywood.

Right. It's not the ideal setting because it's the opposite of soundproof. It is a building with paper thin walls on the Cienega Boulevard. I swear to God, you hear everything. You hear everything that we have to keep waiting while if a butterfly passes outside the studio, we have to start. We have to stop and then go again because the butterflies are always crashing into trash cans in the alley and knocking them over. It's just a very loud place.

And, you know, Jim Parsons is coming to us from I don't even know where he's coming to us from to New York. He's in New York. So Jim Parsons is in New York. We're in an abandoned theater on La Cienega Boulevard with paper thin walls, just massive holes in the walls, people leaning in bystanders. We're like a construction project. People can just lean in and look at what the crane is doing. And you're in a separate room, right, Sona?

So you're on stage right now, right? I am in one of the dressing rooms and I think I'm being quieter than usual because I'm worried. If I speak loudly, you will hear me from the dressing room. Right. That would be a problem for the engineers. And Matt Gawley, of course you are at home, right? Yeah. Yes. In Pasadena. Yeah.

So you're comfortable anyway, you didn't have to move. Oh, no. He's comfortable. He's that's true. Yeah. Trust me. It's always clear who puts this thing together. Matt says, well, I think I'll just be at home. And then Conan, why don't you go to the firetrap on La Cienega? I'm no dummy. And no, you're not. You're not at all. No one ever said you were a dummy, but it's been very it's very complicated.

I'm not complaining. We all have to like. No, wait a minute. You are complaining. I'm complaining. And I especially I should be not complaining because we're lucky. We're lucky. Everybody's doing a good job making this thing work. And it's been difficult because there's a pandemic and everybody's using the Internet, everybody zooming with everybody right now. So the traffic's heavy.

But those other Zoom's, I think, are Zoom's should take precedence over other people. But I wish there was a way that Zoome could tell, like, OK, these people are having a meeting, you know, to decide what the new font on their brochure should be. Oh, go away. We sense that Conan O'Brien needs a friend is using this line. Let's shut everything else down. You're talking about like a one percent or or like four seasons.

Yes, I want it. I want it. Exactly. I want the exact this is the first time, the worst time to introduce this idea. Yes. It's called the elitist zoom. I want to be in a special elitist zoom where even if medical professionals are trying to have a conference on how to save. Yeah, I'm doing a podcast. They all get the CD, seems like we may have a cure. Really, what is it?

Well, if you take and all of a sudden everything gets scrambled because I'm talking to another Armenian hero, Chloe Cardus. She'll come on. Those are the Armenian heroes, the Kardashians, Cher and Dr. Kevorkian. OK, I can't even argue with you because you're right. And now some of. Hey, that's nice. Yeah, you're the Kevorkian of comedy. Well, OK. No, but anyway, I'm not complaining and I'm kidding. Of course, when I say that we should have special preferential treatment on our Zoom's and on our Brodbeck.

Now he's not. Now, these moments of perspective last for about 30 seconds. You can tell I don't really feel them when I know.

But but really, we are like everyone else. And I humbly submit, no, that's I think this podcast is saving lives. Oh, what I just heard, I probably didn't bleed over, but I just heard a it sounded like a motorcycle. Yeah, I heard that too. Made of garbage can lids go by outside on the street and I got distracted. That's what we're doing the show. We will get back to normal times. I know we will.

My prediction is the election will happen tomorrow and America will instantly return to normal. Oh, jeez. Hi. I'm an idiot. Welcome to Conan O'Brien. Says things that are not true. OK, well, we need to get to it today. We have a terrific guest. He is, of course, a four time Emmy Award winning actor. And I say, of course, because I look at this man and I think I bet you he's got four Emmy Awards.

And guess what? I'm always right. He does. He played Sheldon Cooper on the hit CBS series The Big Bang Theory. Now, you can see him in the Netflix movie, The Boys in the Band. I'm very excited to talk to him today. He's a scholar and a gentleman.

Jim Parsons, welcome, Jim. Sometimes they get to talk to a guest for a second before we get started, and I didn't get a chance to to thank you for doing this. You are a very talented gentleman. You're also just a lovely person. You really are. I've had firsthand encounters with you many times over the years, and you've always been incredibly nice. I want to get the word out. Well, that's very good to hear. But I mean, mostly that's just the way I was raised.

I was told that you were supposed to be nice to people when you went to work with them. And not is to me to say that I don't mean it sincerely, my being nice and kind, but erm all I've gotten from is, you know, mixed signals so far. I'm getting this is what I'm getting to be quite honest. And no, I'm kind. My kindness towards you was beaten into me as a child and does not in any way reflect how I may actually feel about you as a person.

Based on my own experience. I think more than anything, I can't explain everything else that's happened up until this point. But at this specific moment, I think this is obviously me obviously deflecting anything, hinting towards a compliment and having to give my mother credit. She deserves a lot of credit. I'm not saying she doesn't, but. But you're right. Goddamn it. I'm I'm a nice person on my own. Yes. This is the therapy breakthrough I've been looking for with Jim Parsons all this time.

You are a very nice person. I don't think fame ever has gone to your head in any way. I shared a lot with you on the Warner Brothers. Yes. For many, many years. What you guys are doing, Big Bang, I saw no change in your personality. Despite massive success. I will point out that your classmates lost their minds, all of them cocaine and new massarotti every day. It was just horrifying to watch their behaviour.

Exotic animals they bought, they all had tigers on a leash. But you you nothing. No change. And to be honest, you are all you are all lovely people know. It's an interesting it's interesting to think about our show because, like, the whole time we did our run, we were always ask people what kind of funny things happen on the set and whatever. And certainly wasn't that nothing amusing happened because we were people and funny things happened.

But the reason we were able to stay on the air for twelve years or one of the reasons was that everybody was very professional.

And for the most part, LEVEL-HEADED I mean, it's like, yeah, it actually wasn't that exciting in that way. And thank God or it wouldn't have gone to seasons. Right. You could have had either twelve seasons of all of you being professionals and not coming away with a lot of fantastic behind the scenes show business stories. Or you could have had three seasons. But fantastic story. That's right. For all of you, just behaving like Roman emperors, which we would have to then parlay into reality series in order to pay rent.

So. Exactly. Yeah. So it all worked out. Let me start with first of all, I know that you had covid. You got covid. How long ago did you get it?

We were very early. I think, like I want to say March thirteen fourteen was when Todd first started coughing and then within a couple of days I did. It took us a very long while to figure out that's what it was, partly because it was so early. And still symptoms are being described and testing wasn't widely available. And and who the hell wanted to go to any medical facility at that point, even if you wanted one of the tests.

But it was also that time of year in the getting into spring when we've both been known to have allergy problems and stuff. So it was kind of weird. But once we had some chest pressure, I had a fever. I really believe we had it. And Todd still was on the fence about it. And then we started feeling better about two weeks into it. And that was when we noticed we had completely lost our sense of smell and taste.

It was like that was it?

What's that like? I've never lost my there've been times when I wish I had no sense. Yes, but I don't actually I mean, that was literally this is kind of gross to say, but that was literally only benefit to it was that there was nothing from the bathroom like you couldn't do nothing. But the downside was ninety nine percent of it was you couldn't smell coffee, you couldn't you couldn't taste bread. I mean, you couldn't or that's that's not a good example of like, oh, we had this we had like these everything bagel chips, nothing.

It was like cardboard. You might as well been eating packing material. Yes. And you would think that I would have stopped eating, but I didn't I just I there was nothing else to do even though I couldn't taste it or smell it. It was like I wanted to do something. What basically is when people say, oh, you lose your sense of taste and smell, what they might as well say is the reason for living goes away because that's what.

Oh, it's kind of true, that's what I mean, it really is everything you're describing this, the smell of coffee and the taste of a great glass of wine and glass and then many more glasses and the taste of my own vomit. But it really does sound at first. It sounds benign, but it is terrible. It really is terrible. And did you you may not have seen this. There was a Michael Hutchins' from an access documentary done.

And he had he had been in some sort of accident a few years before he he died. It had like a brain thing that had taken away his sense of smell. If not taste is I mean, if you just lost sense of smell, you would affect your sense of taste. So even if you still had it and they if I remember correctly, they made a pretty big deal about it in this movie, saying that he was such a snob is such a sensual person that to lose those that those senses like that.

Yes. Really put him into a major depression. And I mean, I could totally see that. What's fascinating to me is I have a very good friend I who I've known since college named Amy, and she is someone who does not have a sense and she's a regular listener to this podcast. So I'm talking to her right now just to freak her out. But she does not have a sense of taste or smell yet. She is an incredible cook and she makes the most amazing food.

And she's always making these these incredible dinners and dropping off like, oh, I just made you this incredible multi fruit torte. Wow. And I'm tasting it and I'm thinking, how did she do this without the sense of smell or taste? Is it bottomed out and zero for her? Like nothing?

She's probably told me. But when other people talk about their problems, I don't listen. Yeah, so, yeah, because I'm whatever I'm on television. Listen, the reason I was going to say is because I think it is. I think it's there. Yeah, I think it is zero. Well, I just I had thought when I had heard that that was a symptom that you would kind of in general lose. But this was so at zero that it was and I don't mean this in a painful way as much as it was a sense.

I it was like the all those areas have been chemically burned, like there was if there was a taste or a smell, it was it was a slight senge almost. It was so weird, I should say, that overall it was so we were so lucky that it was mild. I mean. Right. I would say 50 percent of our pain, quote unquote, because we had the symptoms, but 50 percent of our real pain was that it was so early and we were so scared, like because you kept hearing in the news about people that were having mild cases and then bam, they took a turn.

And every night was like, I don't know, we were just scared every night, going to bed, going, please don't let us one of us wake up and have to get to the hospital. But, you know, but that was scary. It was.

But it wasn't because we were like so hurting. It was just that we knew we had it and we could sense it and and just didn't know how it was going to travel through us.

Are you and Todd fully recovered now? Do you feel any residual? I don't feel anything. The only thing I feel, and this is because I'm a head case, is that any time like the recent stuff that's come out about, well, I don't know if he'll be recent is listening to this, but whatever that Trump had it.

And so we start going down the contact tracing and this person gets in this person and gets it. And any time they start doing that, my brain gets really anxious and like, I'll be reading something and need to go wash my hands because I just feel like, oh, God, what was the last thing I touch, which is insane. I'm seeing so few people in general are doing anything, but it's just hard for me to keep up, to stay abreast of the news and not let it really make me feel almost like a semantically ill.

You know what I mean?

Well, I think that is everybody right now. Yeah, I think all of us feel this constant bucket splash over the head of insane news every single day has, I think, had an effect on all of us. It just occurred to me, wouldn't it be strange if one of the side effects they found out later on was you lose your sense of taste in your mouth, but you also just lose your creative taste? Oh, God, what if that went away?

And what if that's the reason you agreed to do this podcast? What if what if normally you'd be like, I'm not going to talk to Conan. I mean, if I talk to him, I guess I'll go on his stupid show, but I won't do a podcast. But now suddenly you're like, yeah, I'll host that game show. And I really I won't read any of the articles about the people and God bless them.

I feel for them that it's been lingering or that it's had longer. They can already spot longer lasting because as soon as I do it, I'll have everything they talk about. I'll be like, oh yes. Yep, yep. I got yeah.

I just can't even go down that road. I have to keep walking along and pretending like none of this happened.

In a weird way, I feel kinship about you in certain areas. I feel it strongly and you can tell me if it resonates with you or if it doesn't, and this is why I think we could be friends. We're both late bloomers. You have often described yourself as a late bloomer. And I don't think I've yet to bloom. And I'm and I'm I'm much older than you and I'm still waiting. I don't think I've I mean, I'm still waiting on puberty.

But you you and I share something. And I actually think it's something that comes in handy because I've heard you talk a little bit about how things came to you later. I mean, first of all, you lived for a long time, was in Houston. Where did you grew up? In Houston and Houston. And you stayed there for a long time?

Yeah, I got I left Houston to go to grad school when I was 20. I guess I was twenty twenty six, but I didn't know.

It took me a long time to figure out how the next step was going to happen. Like three and a half, four years from graduating there to going to grad school.

I don't know. I just felt very slow looking back on it. But I couldn't have done it any other way. I would have been I would have been ill prepared. Just taking like the TV show Big Bang is an example. I feel like any time, much sooner than when it happened for me, which was thirty three, I don't think I would have been able to do it as well. And I don't know. I don't know. It's not that I think I would have gotten free.

Well maybe I would have gotten freaked out. I don't know. It's really hard to explain. But you know that if you're a late bloomer, it's like you can't explain all you're going down the road. You're going down at the rate you're going down. It's yeah.

What I can relate to is always constantly thinking, why is everybody so far ahead of me that that's how it always felt to me anyway. I always felt I mean, I got tall very late. I mean, it really was almost like like I was exposed to radiation. Bruce Banner and he and I suddenly grew. I didn't really think I grew into my body. I mean, someone argued, I'm still waiting on that. I had to be in my early 20s to really feel start to feel like, yeah, OK, I'm six four.

And now I know how to move as a six foot four inch person. I mean, I could be an extrovert, but I could also be very shy. It's it's the flip side and I know that you had that too. You're very shy growing up. Yeah, well, it's funny. As soon as you said this about getting tall late, I was like, well, I was always tall because I kind of hated it because all my friends were shorter than me and I would stoop down to talk to them.

And just because I didn't want to be sticking out and the only thing I can think of offhand is like you're getting tall late in life and therefore having to adjust to it later in life is sort of similar to if you were grew up when I did and or just being me adjusting to being gay later on. You know, I was in my twenties before I owned a very central part of myself. And and I think that does that. I think that's all ties in with with late blooming and, you know, taking a little bit longer ownership of who you are.

Right. When you say it took a while to have ownership over it, you felt like you knew, but you weren't really able to admit it to yourself or really come to a full understanding yourself of of being gay.

I was in I feel like it was in layers in the first layer would have been the self acceptance. And for me, that was later than it seems to be for most kids these days. But I was nineteen twenty ish when I really started to realize it to myself. And once, once it was clear to me that wasn't too, too hard because I knew there was no I liked it. I was like if I, if I let myself indulge in this I will enjoy it.

I can see relationships in color now. I can see romance in color.

If that felt free, I feel like the hard part was deciding how I could be a successful actor and be gay. How could I portray all sorts of different parts and not portray all of them as gay or something like that? And I think everybody has something they're struggling with no matter what. But I don't think most straight actors, straight male actors. Well, they don't. They don't. They're not thinking about that. Obviously, I'm worried about coming off as straight on that.

Most of them maybe who knows? But and so that took a while. And I've told this story before, but I really I was I was lucky enough to have somebody cast me in a role that I had to do in drag for these Charles Bush plays. And it was it was one of the most important experiences as an actor that I had ever had because I didn't have to appear straight. I only had to play this part. And with that pressure taken off, it was the kind of experience that sort of like self realizing that you're gay, you're like, oh, I can't go back now that I know what it is to.

On stage and again, the word comes up. Now I know what it is to own everything about this and not I'm not hiding anything. I'm just doing it. There's really I can't go back to the old way, which is not to say it was a straight shot to me being a good actor. But but but it was it was a big step on the road.

Well, it feels to me like it's not easy to grow up feeling. I don't want to say inadequate, but unsure of where or how you fit in. But you're gifted with something when you grow up that way, which is, I think, compassion and sensitivity. So I think I understand. I think there is something that has probably served you well. You say it's your mom and insisting on manners, but it's also growing up slowly and maybe not feeling completely secure as you grow up about where you belong.

I guess you with this perspective and ability to handle fame hits. And that was not just any kind of fame. I mean, Big Bang was a phenomenon and just a massive hit. And suddenly you have to deal with being famous. How did you handle that?

I guess I'm still handling it. I don't know. It always still feels like just a byproduct of the real point or aside, part of the real point, which is I enjoy acting, I enjoy playing characters, telling stories, and I don't remember wanting to be famous.

I remember saying when I was very young that I wanted to be a movie star, but I don't think that was like a red carpet, which I feel like that was literally what I was seeing reflected to me from the screen or from my television. I wanted to be part of that. But there is that component to it. I don't know. I can't imagine having zero interest in it and finding yourself well known suddenly, although I'm sure it happens.

I don't know.

I, I, I don't feel I'm fine with it. It's it's a beautiful thing in many ways. And then there is a part of me that is uncomfortable with it still that still doesn't fully get it, except I don't know, I don't know what word to put on it.

It's just and maybe you feel this way too, because it was later in life, like there was so much formative time spent not being known that I still think I should be able to go to a mall. And now that we have to wear masks everywhere, I can. No, you know what I mean.

Like, see, there is a bright side to this, but there is that part of me that that really expects that.

I mean, for me, how old were you when people knew who you were?

I was thirty. And overnight, you know, it was fun. Was what I missed then was I could make people laugh and they would have no idea who I was. And I used to really love that because I was just this guy who they didn't know. And if I really got them laughing, whoever they were, if was the waiter or whatever, it it it felt really special. And, you know, now I still try and make them laugh.

But if they do laugh, I think, well, how much am I getting extra credit? Because and I always make it clear beforehand that the tip really depends on how much you laugh. And so that's. Well, I understand that, though, because I used to I used to enjoy auditioning as a relative unknown, like I loved I mean, I guess it was playing the underdog basically, you know, like going in the room and like, OK, who are they?

And then knowing that you did a good job and seeing their faces and it's just triple the surprise they like, who the hell is that? You know, and that's not to say that I couldn't surprise good or bad in an audition these days, even when you know me. But it's not the same. There was a story that always I always remember that Lorne Michaels told me it's turn out live, which is he said he knew Chevy Chase before he was famous because they they picked him to be on the show, but he hadn't been on the show yet.

And he said Chevy used to do these outrageous things when he was just a civil, not famous Australian. And one of them was when they would go to a restaurant where they gave you a hot towel, they would give him the hot towel and Chevy would put it on his face and then scream and flip over backwards and writhe on the floor as if he'd been horribly scalded. And people in the restaurant used to laugh. And then Lawrence saw Chevy Chase get famous overnight, literally October, November, December of nineteen seventy five.

And he would go to a restaurant and he would do the same thing and people would go in and said like, well like oh look who needs more attention and. And, you know, I just I always thought that was very interesting, but it's so interesting that you said the red carpet stuff that always makes me incredibly self-conscious and like, I feel like a phony. And I I never really enjoyed award shows, which is why I've gone out of my way not to be nominated for anything.

It's really a concerted effort. I put a lot of work into not being nominated for things because, you know, and that's my choice. That's my choice. I think that's great. Yeah. Thank you for reminding me that there is this poster on my English teachers while in high school says aim at nothing.

You'll hit it. Yes. Yes. If anyone takes any wisdom away from today, it's that that's what you should do. That's the philosophy that's worked for Jim Parsons and for Conan O'Brien. You know, what's so funny is that you're and I think about this a lot as Sheldon, you were so funny at that character, so funny in a unique way. Everybody uses sarcasm these days. Everybody use used his attitude and his complete inability to pick up on that made for just great comedy.

I thought he had a certain way of never knowing exactly the impact he was actually having on any situation, good or bad. You know, if if he did something really heartfelt for somebody nine times out of ten, it was accidental, you know. Right. Right. Very early on, they had an episode where Cayley's character, Penny, needed money and nobody had any to give her. She didn't know what to do. And without prompting, Sheldon offers her this money he's been keeping.

And it's very sweet.

But he goes out of his way to to make her understand that, like, this is money I'm saving and I'm not using. And if you need it, it's just a transfer of of digits. Really? Yes, exactly. I'm not I don't I don't feel like I'm doing anyone a favor or there's just. No, and I think that you're right. I think that is unique to see. And it definitely was one of the main ways in which that character was so enjoyable to play as long as he was, you know.

But I also like when you think about it, it's a philosophy I have to actually agree with, which is most people do a kind to act, to feel the the feeling you're getting something from it. Know there's no such there's no such thing as altruism. So there's something really pure about someone saying you have to understand, this is money I have that I have no use for. So I'm transferring it to you who does have a use. Right.

And that makes sense because there's a use vacuum and it's going to, you know, and in a way that's purer than, hey, look at me, I'm a good guy lately, completely, you know, look to my in my own way. It's not something I'm able to fully share with him. I even the things that I give to or whatever privately with no pictures or any postings about it, even those, I'm doing it because it's something I care about that does give me a feeling of satisfaction, of knowing I'm part of the part of the group that's helping keep this thing going, whether it's a a radio station or whatever it is.

But it is not. There's still a transaction going on. I don't I don't, you know.

No, it's why I get uncomfortable if they say Koenen hold this Kohala because we want it to be in an airport that we need to save the koala's. And first of all, I hate koala's. I'm very anti, very anti coal and I spent a lot of my money trying to track them down, make them pay for what they've done. Oh my gosh. Well come on. You know, that's I know you're often making those calls to find out where the koalas already were against koalas.

I've got beef with koalas. I don't know. That's why you won't see me holding a koala in an airport. And I think that's if people get anything out of this, it should be that I hate the koalas. They're up to something and you know it. They're stoned, right? Yes. Yes. I actually was in Australia. I did a tape to show in Australia and I hung out with a koala. I hung out with koala.

And we got so stoned. I visited this nature park and there was a koala there. And yes, they're stoned all the time. Yeah, all the time. And it really is. You think? I think they have borderline depression because they're they're stoned way too much and their productivity is way down. Like whenever you ask a koala to do something, he's like, yeah, I'll do it. They build couches in the wild. They just hang out on couches and they watch Netflix for hours at a time.

You really don't like them. You know what? I'm going to take a lot of heat for this, but. I think they're dicks, I think, and I think they've been asking for it for a long time, so I would anyway, one, I wouldn't be afraid to it. There's something I don't know what they do. You don't even know if they bite. I don't think they would bite you.

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Hey, everybody, Conan O'Brien here to let you know about Team Koko's virtual comedy show hosted by my good friend, the very funny comedian Moses Storm. Moses Storeman friend streams every other Thursday on Team Koko's YouTube twitch and Facebook pages. Past guests have been Chris Read, Joakim Booster, Rachel Bloom, bestselling Kal Penn, Ron Funchess, Angela Johnston and so many more. It's really a fantastic comedy show, Jampacked, featuring some of my favorite people, and I'd like you to check it out.

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I worked with a monkey on Big Bang. Go, go, go! Well, it's not that interesting, isn't to me. It was just frightening. It was a very cute monkey and she was very good at her job. But it was like very calmly, it would be said everyone smile like don't just don't look her in the eye, don't look her in the eye or don't don't smile or show your teeth. That was really all I needed to hear to go.

I can't do this. What was the monkey's job, by the way? Was it was it catering? Was it accounting? What was the monkey doing? She was oh, she was part of my MP Alex character was doing a study with the monkeys and she brought this home and she oh, she was doing a smoking thing. So there was this what was written in was that I the monkey blew smoke in my face. I don't remember how we did it, but I wouldn't get close enough after I'd heard all that for her to blow smoke in my face.

So I was like, we're going to have to figure out how to put us together. Like Patty Duke is twins or something. I am not risking getting near Moneymaker for this ape with a monkey with a cigarette and she wasn't an ape. So that's kind of my koala thinking. It's like they do look cute, like that little bitty monkey did. And I just wonder if give them a sideways glance and they take your face off. Well, OK, I was kind of kidding about the koala.

I really don't have a problem with koalas, but I do have a problem with the chimpanzee. And I've had to work with chimpanzees many times on late night over the years. They can get real nasty, real fast. And and also the trainers are always saying the same thing to me. OK, we're going to do this bit with the monkey jumps on you Koenen and oh, and by the way, don't look at it. Yeah. Try not to inhale, only exhale.

If you've used any soap in the last ten years, it might try and pull your skull out of your flesh and and they're strong, they're really strong. And then they are fine though and maybe you don't. But that in general is that you find yourself doing things or capable or willing to do things for the sake of the show. They would never in real life, if someone can convince me that people might find it amusing, I will do anything.

Yeah, anything. And I've countless times done incredibly stupid things that I would never do again. And this is a true story. A couple of years ago, we had a wildlife segment on the show where they brought different animals on and then at the end they said, and we could bring this animal out and it's a water buffalo. Now, I don't know if you've ever seen a water buffalo, but a water buffalo is the size of the longest dining room table you've ever seen.

They're massive. And they brought this water buffalo out. And I was just going to stand next to the water buffalo and it's rehearsal. And I'm sure it's the same thing when you're blocking a scene for television, for a sitcom. But at rehearsal, things get very slow, very relaxed. People aren't really paying attention. The trainer at one point said Conan could get on the water buffalo and no one had given it any thought. And to be fair, the people around me who should know better were all on their iPhones, checking out sports scores and texting people.

And people were just sort of muttering and not paying attention. And I'm just standing there and I'm like, huh? Do people get on it? And whoever handled the water, Buffalo said, could be real funny. And that's, of course, all I had to hear. So there was a box there and I started to get on the water buffalo. And to his credit, Andy Richter, I heard just before I got on the water buffalo, Andy was over in the corner and he looked up and he said, don't get on a fucking water buffalo.

But just as he said it, my bony settled onto the water buffalo. The water buffalo, which I want to stress again, was is the size of an SUV, took off because he didn't want me on it. And it it threw me in the air. I went up in the air and I landed. And you know what, the floor of a when they have to roll cameras and I'm on the same set as you, I'm literally this happened.

You were probably working on Big Bang, maybe one hundred yards away from me. It's a dense, dense, concrete floor. And I landed on my left hip. Oh. And bounced off of it off the floor. And I'm a big guy. I bounced off of it. The water buffalo took off and smashed. All the cameramen scattered it, knocked over cameras. People were screaming. The water buffalo got up. I could see the whites of its eyes and it turned to look at me.

I took off. No, and then they get the water buffalo under control. And I had this hematoma on my left hip that was so big I couldn't get my pants off. It was literally like I had a I had like a a. Do you remember this Seona? Oh, yeah, of course I remember. And it was it was huge. It was horrifying. And I was thinking. Just mad at myself, I mean, I should have as an adult.

I had no sense of it was my fault. I'm going to I'm going to say it was ninety nine percent my fault. I'm going to give one percent to the water buffalo just because he should have recognized me.

Well, the water buffalo isn't a late bloomer, but you are the somebody famous, really young. You'll know you'll know how to deal with animals the size of dining room tables. I want to know what that thing was on your hip. What is that? Oh, a hematoma.

Yeah, it's a C basically an incredible, like bone bruise that filled up with blood. I don't know if you ever had reason to use the Warner Brothers nurse, but the Warner Brothers nurse came by and they finally figured out a way to get my pants down low enough for her to see that. And she was like, yeah, that's the biggest hematoma I think I've seen. Oh, my God, did you have to walk gingerly? I always walk gingerly.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm very I'm very. Yeah, exactly. There was no pain. No, I just always am very careful in my ankles and my feet. I'm a very sensitive person. But picture of your hematomas in the chat that was telling me. Oh, that's a picture of my hematoma in the chest. Yeah. Yeah. I think we took a picture of it at the time. Yes. It's we're just going to make you look at this.

Oh my God. That's with no makeup or anything. That's nothing. I'm fine. Can you believe that it looks like somebody had to paint that on you, that is. No, it's not. I, I swear on my life. No makeup, nothing that was wet that water buffalo did to me. Oh. And he was probably did it at the behest of a fucking. You're lucky you did. You're lucky you didn't break the hip.

Honestly, I'm made of tough stuff. I just had to say, and I'm very, very much away that no way matches who I am. I'm Boston Strong. Boston strong. I'm blessed. He's strong. I wanted to talk for a second about the boys in the band because I had an observation. I thought your performance was great. I think the whole cast was great. Thank you. It was a piece of that time. Yeah. And when you look at it in that context and you and you understand that this was written a year before Stonewall, right.

I think and this was a completely, completely verboten topic, and it is depicting the lives of all these gay men who are friends. Yeah, it's stunning. It's absolutely stunning that that could have been created in nineteen sixty eight or sixty nine. It's just it's madness now. It's true. It was very marcarelli who wrote it. It was very brave is the right word I look at as brave. I wonder if he would say that he passed away in March.

But it's so brutally honest. Brutal is the word that comes up again and again. I think he was inspired by a couple of things to write this that I read about. But one of them was a piece, I think, in The Times written by a theater critic that was criticizing or saying basically enough of these gay writers by which I believe he was talking about Tennessee Williams and Edward. All right. Enough of you writing your gay characterizations and stories through the prism of heterosexual couples because, frankly, you're getting it wrong.

It was it was a borderline homophobic piece, is what it really was. It's like gay people need to stop writing about straight relationships because you don't get it. But Maat really took it as you don't want to hear about gay stuff through straight couples. Well, then I guess it's time that you hear about gay stuff and watch the gay people do it. And that was what was so monumental about this when it came out, was that there had been nothing like it.

There have been nothing gay characters were certainly not central characters in anything, much less the whole of any pieces. And and it caused quite a stir. But the next stir was then, like you say, Stonewall came about and the tidal waves of change that began to happen in gay liberation and people, gay people being proud of who they are and we're not going to take it anymore kind of thing. It started to give this piece a really bad name, because this piece is this piece is of a piece of a time where society was, you know, well, cruel to gay people.

I mean, we were in our in hiding. Exactly. That's what it is. I think one of the things that's remarkable about it, that I'm realizing this more and more as it's been released and I'm getting reactions to it. But as I'm I'm realizing that, again, the the brutal honesty with which Mark took on his life and the people he knew in society at the time. Certainly, like you say, seeing because there's there's more of it going on now, seeing a gay movie with gay people depicted and played by gay actors is not the remarkable thing.

It was 50 something years ago. The good side of that. Well, there's several good. But one of them is that I think it allows for the peace to be so resonant with so many other types and kinds of people that are being shamed or other or whatever it is now, you know, in a way that I don't think you would have made those connections in nineteen sixty eight or nineteen seventy nine, original movie came out. But but we know more now and I don't know, progress doesn't seem to and I guess this is ultimately good, doesn't ever seem to stop.

You know, when you when you progress you simply you do good. But you also uncover things that you weren't able to see before because of the other coverings. And yes.

You know, well, that's why it's that line I always go back to that Obama uses progressives never in a straight line. Yeah, I don't know. I was I was very glad that you're in this place now in your career where you can. I don't know, I, I do feel like the sky's the limit for what you can sign up for and what you can tackle. No, thank you. Yeah. I mean, look, I loved getting to do it.

I tell you, it's a combination. The director this is Joe Mantello and the producer Ryan Murphy. I mean, it is amazing. And I'm sure anybody in our business can speak to this. The things that you either know you're capable of or you suspect that you're capable of. There's so much you can do about it to a certain degree. And then you need those people in your life that say, I agree or I see it even before you do.

And they give you these opportunities. And I, I don't know. I think more than anything, this experience. Well, one of the many things about this experience has been the renewed new level of appreciation I have for all the helping hands along the way of any career. I just you know, I've always said in my head, I feel like thanking everyone who ever cast me in anything, because not only to give me experience, but more importantly in some ways gave me a vote of confidence, like, well, somebody thinks I can do this.

And with these two men in particular, Joe and Ryan, they came along to my life and career at a very important time where I have been very well known for particular character. And instead of that making them frightened about using me, it excited them and they wanted to expand upon that and see where we would go with that. And and so I'm yeah, I'm really grateful for that. I think it's I think it goes in line with our late blooming thing.

And this is where the late blooming has a major personal benefit, whether the rest of the world cares or not. Is that you? I imagine you sort of feel this way. I do. Which is that it does feel like there's no telling what's going to happen because weird things seem to happen all the time. And, you know, just when I thought such and such was probably count it out of my particular life, I go, oh, well, I was just waiting to graduate into it.

I, I didn't realize I've had maybe nine distinct periods in my life where I thought it's over. Yeah, that's it. And I'm always proven wrong and it's just a change. And I've actually come to you know, we're a culture that just idolizes youth, but I've come to enjoy I like being an older person who's had all these experiences because I think I get it a little more now stand. And I. I understand that. Oh, there's just more.

I'll try this. I'll try that. I'll experiment. What have I got to lose. Yeah. And so I'm very happy to see you in this place. And and trust me, you know, my approval should mean everything as I'm. Well, Jim, I hope that you've revised now your your we're at the end of this podcast. And I know now they probably revised how you feel. Oh, my friend. I'm sure it's graduated to some sort of queasiness and.

No, I mean, it's five o'clock here or it's about to be, which means that I get to slip into cocktail hour and very nice. I can really absorb and reflect upon what's happened and very good.

I'll text my agent and tell him how I feel about this experience. No, no, no. Good. I'm kidding. Listen, absolute thrilled to get to talk to you. And I will say it again. You're someone who I'd been running into at your place of business for, you know, I think over a decade. And you were always on. Unfailingly nice and sensitive and real, and I think a lot I think late blooming is the answer, but I also I think it's a combo platter.

It's late blooming. It's good parenting, and it's you just being a fundamentally decent person. So we'll put all of that in there and maybe some sort of medication you're on. You're not yourself. No, no, no, not exactly. Hey, Jim, thank you. Thank you so much. And I'll get to that cocktail and be well. And thank you for doing this. Really. You're welcome. Thank you.

Hey, everybody.

Conan O'Brien here to talk to you about something that's of crucial importance right now in America. That's right. Merchandise of all the things happening right now, nothing's more important than what we call Mirch. Team Coco dotcom slash shop is our hub for everything merch related.

I can feel my soul leaving my body. We have new Team Coco masks. Oh, my God. Well, sure. Yeah. We're taking taking every advantage of the covid crisis by making some Team Coco masks. No idea if they're medically sound as well as a variety of t shirts, foam cases, coffee mugs and tumblers from our podcasts, including our summer sports series. I'm sorry, this is not the time in America. On top of all that, we did a special capsule collection with Jordan Slansky and most recently added a new limited edition world's worst assistant collection made for our very own Seona Mozartian.

Hey, stop bitching about quarantine and covid and get out there and go to Team Coco Dotcom shop to check out our merch. Get your priorities straight.

Hey, everybody, it's your pal Conan O'Brien that's seems like I'm supposing they're my pal, they might not be. You don't think you're there, pal. They could be randomly trying this podcast out. Oh, I think they're all your friends. OK, hey, everybody, it's your acquaintance Conan here to tell you about a new Team Coco Originals Web series featuring some of our favorite stand up comedians from Conan on TBS. Each week, Conan supervising producer J.P. Buck is going to sit down with a different comedian to watch and rehash that they performed on the show.

You'll find out how comedians workshop their jokes, how their friends and family reacted, how g.P helped shape their sets, and what their experience was backstage on Conan. I'm a big believer in showing people the process. And if you're interested in comedy or just a fan, this would be a really good exercise to check this out. This season is going to be joined by comedians Daniel Sloss, bestselling Solomon Georgio, Genov Friedman and more. You can find full episodes of the setup weekly on the Team Coco live Instagram page and on Team Koko's YouTube.

Check this out. It's a good idea. It's has been eating away at me for a while now. We do these ad raids and there was one I don't know when this was maybe it was two months ago, three months ago. And it was an ad for an online test prep. And I read it once and I was delighted. And I came to life and I was the happiest that I've been in years. I mean, literally happier than I was seeing my children born.

I was so happy because it was for this online test prep company. And none of that obviously sounds interesting, but their name is Magoo's. I've never heard you say it like that. Well, I just wanted to say it normally that one time. And that takes a great act of will and self-control to say it that way, because immediately in the ad I started going, oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh.

And I was delighted and I couldn't stop because it created this worm hole in my brain. I was going, oh, my gosh, they get it done. And I couldn't stop. And I was so happy because I thought, this is great. The my people are going to love this and they're going to find more cats. And guess what? They didn't. That's because you keep talking about it and they're getting free advertisement. I can't help it.

I want and I think I yes. I think you hit it on the head, Matt, which is that these people, first of all, they have not bought an ad today and they know about an ad.

And our podcast is I don't want to flex, as the kids say today or buy our podcast is very successful.

People pay a lot of money to get an ad on this podcast. And I'm so frustrated that they're not advertising that I'm talking about them again and again and again and mentioning their name. And so they're not buying advertising because they don't have to. And I keep saying, oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh. You know, so this is the problem. I can't stop saying it. But then they're not going to buy an ad because I keep saying their name anyway.

Right.

We could try bleeping you every time you say it from here on out, because I'll be no, I'll be so mad if you guys do that, because I want people to hear, oh my gosh, bet if I find out. Yeah, hey, there's people in the background that again, could you get more people to walk around and ask questions.

They probably heard a lunatic yelling Mangoush and thought there cannot be a recording session happening, have recording session here at the at the Largo Theater. And I said, sure, Flanagan, who runs the place, told a bunch of guys, hey, can you wander around and ask each other questions? So literally, I heard in the background people going, where do you think God comes from?

And then dropping wrenches, you Freudian slip with this podcast really is a recording recession. Well, and or depression. It's a depression. I want to know why the mortgage people aren't buying more ads. And you know what? I've been a good friend to? My gosh. And I think they should be a good friend to me. And guess what they have this is not a paid advertisement. I'm not getting any money now. Maybe it's because they aren't doing online tests right now because of covid.

It just occurred to me maybe they're not advertising because a lot of those tests have been shut down. But I just want to get the word out there that even if they have been shut down, you still have to study kids because at some point they're going to come back. And when they do, you're going to need oh, my gosh. I think that the trick to advertising on this podcast is just to have a silly name because you'll just keep doing it over and over again.

Yes. And then they won't have to pay. I actually was surprised you even knew what Mangoush was. And I remembered Adam had to Google it before we even started recording, because even though you've done like six ads. Oh, I had no idea what they did. No. You know, I could be it could be some sort of feminine product. It could be a douche.

The McGoo, are you OK? Are you all right? Well, I think I'm not that OK. I need to go use. Oh, my gosh. Gosh. Oh, I had no idea what they did. And I think it's a new idea. I think it's a foolish name for a test prep company. So anyway, that's something that's been bothering me. None of that was an ad. No money came in just right now. But I mentioned a company like fifteen times and they better come across and buy an ad.

You know, what's going to happen is that people are going to start naming their products silly things just and then telling me what they are. Just so I'll start talking about their product on the air. Yeah.

Even though they're not paying for it, because I want to say snap redo and it's going to be something heinous, know, like a firearm that fires thirty five rounds a second.

I'd be like, God, make sure you get your Snabe. Even though I'm very into gun safety, I mean, like SNAP. That gun that fires rapidly, it's awful. Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Sunim Obsession and Conan O'Brien as himself produced by me, Matt Cawley, executive produced by Adam Sachs, Joanna Solotaroff and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Chris Bannon at Airwolf. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental Music by Jimmy Iovine.

Our supervising producer is Aaron Belayer and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. The show is engineered by Will Beckton. You can rate and review the show on Apple podcast and you might find your review featured on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at three, two, three, four, five, one, two, eight, two, one and leave a message at two. Could be featured on a future episode.

And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a friend on Apple podcasts, stitcher or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. This has been 18 cocoa production in association with DeWolfe. Scam, con robbery and fraud. Squad car robbery and from God is what's poppin listeners, I'm Lacey Mosley, host of the podcast Scam Goddess.

Each week I talk with very special guests about the scam. You scammers of all time want to know about fake heiresses. We've got them. What about career con men? We got them two guys that were wined and dined you and then steal all your coins. Oh, yes. They're also represented and I'm very excited to share that scam. Goddess has joined the Team Coco network. So check out the show. I've got guests like Nicole Byer, Jameela Jamil, IRA Madison, the third.

And I've even got a brand new episode where Conan O'Brien and I dig into the wolf of Wall Street. So join the congregation, listen to scam. God is wherever you get your back is.