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In preschool, they say, if you want to make a friend be your friend in therapy, they say if you want to have a good life, do good things. And in the Middle Ages, they said, if you want to solve a crime, commit a crime. In those days, it was the crime of torture. Today, we're counting down the top 10 medieval torture methods, from the creative to the sadistic to the downright brutal. And we know many of you listening can handle disturbing content, but we still advise a little discretion with this episode.

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So let's get into history's worst detectives.

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Hey, all you weirdo is welcome to Crime Countdown, a Spotify original from podcast, I'm Ash and Emelina. Every week will highlight 10 fascinating stories of history's most engaging and unsettling crimes, all picked by the podcast research got this episode.

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We're counting down the top ten medieval torture methods.

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All right. So I'm going to take full blame for this episode. Yeah, you are going to do it. We covered this topic on morbid at my behest. I got my suggestion and it was fascinating and truly stomach churning, which is my favorite combo cue.

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And I just knew the podcast research gods would have a field day with it, just like I did.

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And it's really sweet of you. It is. This was definitely your suggestion, not mine, because I remember doing this on morbid and wanting to take a Pepto Bismullah to that because I was so nauseous and I'm so excited to do this all over again now. Thank you. You're so welcome. I'm so glad to be of service. So funny.

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I'm actually kind of excited to see if they got some that I didn't catch the first time around. I think they did in the first one that we did for more it I did take some out because I was like, oh, we'll do one later, maybe.

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No, but maybe they did it well. And here we are doing it again. And honestly, there are so many it could be a series unto itself. Yeah. And the craziest things about it is obviously the torture. That's pretty gnarly.

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But there's also the fact that it was done usually when someone was just accused or suspected of something, it wasn't like, oh, we caught you doing this.

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It was like someone over there told me that you might have done this. And then it was like maybe you looked at the king with the side.

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I don't know. But that's exactly what it was. And that's the sad part, because some of these people, I feel like they probably didn't even do anything.

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Oh, probably like 90 percent. Right.

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And they died like the worst possible deaths, the worst so far. This is going to get real gory. So if that's not your thing, we'll see you next Monday and I will be a significantly different person.

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Well, without further ado, let's get into it. Elena has five methods and unfortunately, so do I. But neither of us knows who's going to throw up first, even though I have my money on myself.

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Mine, too. Let's start the countdown. I'll start us off with number 10 contributing, contributing is when they would publicly hang a body in a metal human shaped cage in chains, the body would hang in whatever town was chosen as a constant reminder, don't break the law or you'll become a chandelier or you will be a gibbet. So jibbering peaked in popularity in the 17 40s, which I would expect it to be in like the thirteen hundred. I'm going to be honest.

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Me too, Yasim. And then it became officially mandated with the 1752 Murder Act. The Murder Act, you say? Yes. The Murder Act required convicted murderers to be debated publicly to deter other people from killing other people. Damn, that would deter me.

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It would absolutely deter me. And I don't think I would want to kill anybody anyway. Know, some people could be tributed alive, which meant that you starved to death while hanging in this contraption. Or if they put a gibbet up in your town and it got everyone's attention. Did it did I wonder why? I'm shocked? But it wasn't exactly a welcomed event because you would start. SANKIN Exactly. The gibbet with the body stayed in place until it fell apart from wear and tear.

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Oh, so you would have to live with the stench inside of that body for potentially years. So basically you all got punished. Yeah. Added to the purpose of it all. Yeah. Only men were gibbet it though. Oh good. Women's bodies were generally given to surgeons for dissection. CocaCola Cucu jibbering was formally abolished luckily in 1834. Lucky for all you fellows out there, you fellows out there, you can be gibbet it.

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Nine at number nine is the rack o the rack is basically a wooden body stretcher, the person's ankles and risks are tied up with ropes.

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The ropes are then used to pull the body in opposite directions until their limbs are dislocated or torn off. No, essentially real intense Pallot. I've never done polarities like that. Sure, you can barely done real palletize.

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Well, what's fun is any kind of criminal could be subject to the rack men woman all anybody check yourself before you wrap yourself.

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More than anything, it was used to get confessions out of people. I feel like I probably did a pretty good job of I would do a real good job for me. I would confess to anything. I would confess to something if somebody just made me do palletize. Yeah, never mind. The rest came here in sixty five CE Emperor Nero use the rack to get the names of conspirators who had plans to assassinate him. I mean I can't blame him for that.

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All right. I'd like to know who was going to get it. So way to do it. In the late Middle Ages there were some upgrades. Oh good. And this included one with spikes that penetrated the victim's back. So there's spinal cord was ripped apart.

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Oh, my God. No big deal.

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What an upgrade you do like now with spinal cord tearing spike. Oh, my God. Out my back. Like, I felt that it's like the wreck titanium, you know, it's like a car up for insurance.

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But worse, there was an infamous torture rack in the good old Tower of London for those identified as having committed the most serious of crimes against the state in the mid seventeenth century, the Tower of London stopped using it because you know what? It was suddenly deemed cruel and ineffective. You know why? Why? Because people would just confess to anything to get off of it. Oh, that's why.

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Eight. Number eight on our countdown of top ten medieval torture methods is the pair of anguish so that all the medals of medal, the stories about the actual use of this device are buried, but the pear shaped metal contraption would be inserted into an orifice with the goal of causing searing agony. And I am already in agony. I am to the sharp end of the instrument would open like a flower o causing massive internal damage, i.e. the grossest, most horrible tampon ever.

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The guy I know from hell, you know. So the pair of anguish was brutal and many women who were tortured in the medieval dungeons died from their injuries. Look at my shocked face, obviously. So one story said that it was mostly used to punish women accused of inducing a miscarriage, lying or being gay.

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So I'm your language for you. Another story said it was mostly used against women who were accused of witchcraft. Strike two for me. The pair was allegedly not used before the 17th century. And some stories say that it was referred to as the choke pair who it would be used on victims, usually robbery victims, to keep them from calling for help. That's horrific, right? So the criminals would put the pair of anguish in the victim's mouth. Oh.

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And the victim would have to then bribe the criminals to get the key. It's medieval saw it is.

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I wonder if that's where want. L got the idea for that. We are. You're doing history research my dear.

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I love like guy. We lovely. Seven at number seven this week is the ancient Chinese torture method known as Linky, Lingshui loosely translates to death by a thousand cuts. Oh, and it's exactly what it sounds like. The execution method was used from the 7th century until 1985 when it was officially outlawed.

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19 or five. Yeah. Nineteen oh five. Wow. It took that long. I know criminals were given small cuts to the skin and it was intended to see how many cuts they got before dying or simply losing consciousness.

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So it was a slow punishment one.

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But you know what I'm thinking the first cut was not the deepest. Certainly was not. Oh, certainly was not. Well, you had to commit a capital crime in order to receive the punishment, one that seriously flouted the social orders of that period.

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Like showing your ankles. Yeah, just Yashoda. Think, how dare you. One issue with it was that the Chinese law was unclear and not specific about how to apply the punishment. You ought to be real clear with these torture methods. Yeah, you can't just be like a thousand cuts if you got to give them some kind of regulations. There needs to be a cutting off period. Yeah, no pun intended.

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A manual of some sorts, I don't know.

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Well, some criminals died within 15 minutes, while others received about three thousand cuts before dying. It would also depend on the severity of the crime. You and if you're a bleeder, I imagine. Yeah, you'd be dead pretty quick. I'd be good. You give me three cuts and I'd be like, well, I'm no more for this world. I'm not really a bleeder.

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I think I'd be there for a while. You'd be in trouble. You'd be the three thousand cuts I know. In nineteen sixty one, a French cultural theorist wrote about Lynche and the complex relationship between pleasure and pain. Oh, and this is because one photo he used with his study shows a victim of Lynche smiling bigger every time he's cut. OK, that's odd. You know what? We're not going to kink shame here. Oh, OK. All righty.

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Six. Also on our list at number six, the head crusher, guess what this does it probably hurt your feet. Yeah, exactly. So this looks like the device that you receive an eye puff test on at the doctor. You set your chin down on a bar. But in this case, there's also a little bowl shaped cap that just goes on your head. And then there's a giant screw that presses down when it's twisted or cranked. So different from a glaucoma test.

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A little bit different. A little bit. Just a little bit. So in medieval India and Persia, trained elephants were used to crush the heads of criminals. That was the modern upgrade. This head crusher is the modern upgrade, you know, and elephants are my favorite animal.

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So thanks so much for ruining. They're so sweet. I know they didn't want to do that. They didn't. It was sadistic. The torture could really take their time with the screw, depending on what they were looking to do with this person that they were punishing. So if you got like a real psycho, which you probably did, because if they're doing it in the first place. Exactly. They could, like, really relish it.

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This was another device often used to coax confessions out of people. And you're going to hate this part. Are you ready? You're not. The victim's teeth would shatter before they died. And we're not done yet.

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Honey, the eyeballs would pop out. Oh, of course. Oh, my God. Oh, I had to close my eyes. It's the teeth. Chattering They're pretty inventive because some had crushers had containers in the front to, like, catch the eyeballs when they fell out of the victim's head. Oh, that's nice. At least there was that. We don't want to make a mess. No, never. No, there was probably already enough to cleanup.

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Yeah. You don't want eyeballs floating around the floor? No.

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So the head crusher, yeah, I am like really angry at you for suggesting doing that's a real situation.

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This whole list is a real situation.

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Olina, I'm glad I got the wreck. I'm happy for you. Love the titanium upgrade with the spinal cord crushing spikes.

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You know, love it. It's like the 2020 version to it. So far. These are pretty gnarly.

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I have a couple that I'm waiting for. We will see if you have them. But I don't know.

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I feel like you would have been more significantly changed if you had this little girl. I'm changed.

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Hi, listeners, it's Vanessa from podcast network, searching for something a little spooky to dig into, then check out the Spotify original from podcast Superstitions every Wednesday. Explore the varying beliefs people around the world fear and follow in this eerie new series. Each week step inside stories that illustrate the horror, weirdness and truth behind humanity's strangest codes of conduct. Why do black cats represent witchcraft? What's the point of carrying a rabbit's foot around with you? And how come certain films seem cursed and others don't?

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Each new episode of Superstitions presents a story that unlocks the mysteries of unorthodox traditions and surreal phenomena.

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They may seem mystical or illogical or completely insane, but then again, do they follow the Sparkasse series Superstitions Free on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts?

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Five. All right, let's jump back in with number five on our countdown of medieval torture methods starting off the second half of our list, the wheel kind of like the wrath, kind of like the wheel of Fortune. This punishment originated in ancient Rome, where many ancient punishments came from. The best ones, you might say, the victim was tied to a horizontal wheel and then their limbs would be bludgeoned with a blunt force object. Oh, afterwards, their broken limbs were then threaded through the spokes of the wheel and they were left like that to die.

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I need to run away. I need to run away. Lots of shrubbery. Oh, my God.

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This specific punishment was reserved for serious crimes like spreading the black death. Oh, it's a pretty serious crime.

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OK, not only was the punishment physically cruel, but they did it to publicly humiliate the offender. I bet it did the trick. It's pretty humiliating to get all your limbs broken on a wheel and then, like, threaded right in there.

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Several bodies have been discovered where it's pretty clear they had been broken on the wheel, such as in Milan, Italy.

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Oh, we lost the national capital, you know, dead wheel bodies. Yeah. You know, archaeologists there examined remains dating from the Roman Empire to the 16th century found beneath the Salmon Brosius Square. The remains of one man was believed to have been a victim of the wheel because he had two buckles used with the device on each side of his body.

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Rose Wolf. The man was between seventeen and twenty years old when he died, which is so young. I know even back then, that's young, so young.

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Well, the long bones in his forearms and legs had been shattered perpendicularly.

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Oh yes. In thirteen forty eight during the plague, a Jewish person underwent this punishment and was tortured for four days and four nights. How did they even make it through four days and nights. Well, this was the longest known survival of the wheel in history. I don't think I'd want to break that record. I don't want that badge of honor.

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No, thanks. For. Landing at number four this week is the wooden horse or the Spanish horse, it's also called the Spanish donkey, but what it's never been called is fun. Oh, man. Oh, this torture device was originally invented to punish those found guilty of heresy or witchcraft. Imagine a giant wooden toy horse, but instead of a saddle, you're sitting on the corner of a triangle. I'm going to cry throughout this entire one. So the hands of those being punished would be tied up in front of them and their legs would be dangling on either side.

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And if the torturers wanted it to be even more awful, Olina, they would add weights to each ankle to pull the victim down more than the triangle. Oh, no. And then to be even ruder, stop. The victim's ankles were also covered with hot ashes or just singed with straight up fire. Oh, do you want to know why would you do that? Because it would make them squirm around even more on the freaking triangle, causing them more bodily harm.

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I am like moving in my seat right now. I do too. And it feels like the pain would be dream leading to permanent disfigurement and death, obviously. Yeah. So while it begins in medieval times, the wooden horse actually lasted quite a long time as a punishment method hate. At one point it was a common punishment in the American provinces, both among the royal troops and the militia. Oh Lord. Yeah, that's great, huh? In 1775, the first week George Washington commanded the Continental Army, he approved a soldier's Court-Martial verdict to ride the wooden horse.

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That's not in Hamilton. That is not the George Washington we know of. No, no. Take him off the dollar. It's even been recorded as a punishment in civil court cases. Oh, my God. He forever changed.

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Yeah, that one's a rough one. Next Monday is going to be so different for all of you. I'm going to be just crying through everything from this point forward. Thank you. We're all OK.

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We're not. Three. Number three on our countdown of medieval torture methods, is waterboarding awesome? This is another torture method that has somehow stood the test of time, despite being considered a pretty barbaric practice even in the Middle Ages. And that says a lot. Yeah, waterboarding is where you hold the victim down and force water into their airways to simulate the feeling of drowning.

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Why would you want to do that to anyone?

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Worst nightmare. Generally, a rag is placed over the head of the person. So when the water is poured, there's somewhere in the middle of drowning and not drowning. I love how happily you're saying this fun place to be your horrible. The rag allows for exhaling but not inhaling. That's really important. Inhaling is it's real important. You got to getting oxygen in is super important. Water boarding because of this can cause brain damage due to oxygen deprivation.

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You don't say this is terrible. Waterboarding dates back more than 700 years to 14th century France, but it became a global form of torture because everyone just like took notes. It spread like the wave used by the Spanish Inquisition. It made its way to the Philippines as Spain colonized the islands. The Philippines is also where the U.S. would first begin waterboarding people during the Philippine American war. The May 19 to Life magazine cover featured American soldiers in the Philippines.

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Waterboarding people. Are you kidding me? Sure did. How did that make it out? Not real. Sure. Wow. President Theodore Roosevelt sent a cable to the US Army urging soldiers to curb the practice because it was seen as such a barbaric act. You don't have to stop it. Herbert Herbert. Only three week up. There have been reports of it being used as recently as 2018, despite the illegality of it in many places today it continues to be used.

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The Spanish horse. Wow, I'm a changed gal. I am a changed gal just from talking about how I think there's one called like the Judas Triangle or something.

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And it's similar to that. Great. Just like sitting on a triangle. I wanted to know that. Thank you for sharing me so much because we didn't do the Spanish horse, but we did the other one.

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We did. Yeah. Yeah.

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It's weird. I forgot about it. Nostalgia brought me right back. Thanks so much for the memories. I'm still waiting for a couple. I'm not I'm still waiting for this to be over. So I'm waiting for guys.

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It's going to get worse. Oh, man. And you have no one here at the top.

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To. We're down to the final two spots on our countdown of medieval torture methods, thank God at number two is the staccato. Staccato is a form of torture that began with the medieval inquisition. The accused would have their hands tied behind their backs. Then the rope looped over a ceiling or a pulley to lift the person in the air. And as you can imagine, this often caused dislocated shoulders and torn ligaments. And I'm moving my shoulders to make sure they're located.

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I actually love this one. And I've said that you have it. This is one of the ones I was waiting for.

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What is wrong with my love? I mean, it's like, well, yeah, tis like, whoa, that is not an alien, A.J..

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Sounds like a roller coaster ride up and down side to side. Don't say whoa, whoa.

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So in the Inquisition's, they were looking for those who went against widely recognized religious beliefs because if you weren't falling in line, the staccato equaled a confession. It sure did. Bravo.

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There was a variety in the way that the staccato was used. As mentioned, the hands were tied behind the back and lifted into the air.

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But sometimes if they were feeling a little like crazy, feeling a little gooky, they'd incorporate abrupt drops of the roll from various heights that added, you know, just pain, suffering and a lot more damage.

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Yeah. Oh, my God.

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And if they wanted to, they just tie the person's hands in front of them, lift them up still, but then add weights to their ankles to like essentially stretch them out. Oh, my legs. And if you didn't confess to the Inquisition, you could be sentenced to life in prison, which I would take. I was going to say, you might take that over there. I would take that or I would just confess ASAP. So psychological torture was involved, too, because the inquisitors knew how to question the accused so that they'd get confused and possibly confess even if they weren't guilty.

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Yeah, they might want it to end. I just said I would do the exact same thing. So there would also be repeat offenders, people who confessed and then retracted their confessions, but then publicly went back to commit heresy.

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Why would you do that? That's the thing. I'm like, you already experienced that and you're really playing a dangerous game here.

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My dude strap it on me once. Shame on you. Strap it to me twice. Shame on me. Drop it on me. Never.

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One, and that brings us to number one on our countdown of the top ten medieval torture methods. Finally, the song you mentioned earlier saw the name says it. The accused was tied up and hung upside down. They would then begin to get sawed in half lengthwise.

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Oh, my God. You're going to head until they confessed or died. Eventually you're going to die anyway. So during the Inquisition, inquisitors would travel from village to village, often without torture devices because they're heavy. So this made the song very popular. This is just like their door to door salesman now, like they didn't have mobile torture devices that just like folded up and nothing.

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I know. So they had a saw. So you got to make do with what you got, mainly because you could find a saw and rope in most houses and didn't need to find any complicated devices for the other methods.

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Oh my God, why didn't everybody just get rid of their cells? So this is just everybody just working with what they have. Same as with most of the methods during the time they wanted confessions and to make examples out of the accused. Great. Yeah. Here's an example.

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Someone cut cutting back. So some saw victims were cut completely in half just as a symbolic gesture. What is symbolic about that? Hey, look at this guy. There's no two halves of him. This is why don't do it, because is just blood everywhere.

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Lots of gore. It was a cheap way to torture and kill victims accused of witchery, adultery, murder, blasphemy or even theft.

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Why would you ever do anything wrong throughout this? I'd be a mute. I would stay in my house and I would just twiddling my thumbs. I'd just be like in a corner crying. Yeah, pretty much. And then they'd be like, you're very emotional. We should saw you at half. So why upside down? Because they're messed up. Why would they hang you upside down? I don't know. You want to know. No. You want to know.

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I don't. I'm going to tell you. Tell me. So this is over. So they'd hang you upside down because most blood diverted to the brain.

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So it's slowed down the loss of blood and it humiliated the victim because if you're not losing as much blood, you're not dying as quickly.

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So they're going to be able to saw you further down. I love that. They're like and that's humiliating, too. Like, wow, I'm so no pictures, please.

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No pictures here. Like it's the Inquisition. What are you talking about in the middle of the laughs if I see this on Instagram, I swear to you. So what a confession was required.

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The victim was frequently forced to watch someone else be subjected to this.

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That will change. You don't change channel change you.

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That's when you can officially say, I've seen some shit.

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That's when you can go any feather in your car. Yeah. And just as a little fun fact, this happens in the 2016 horror movie, Terrifying when a crazy killer clown who is one of the scariest killer clowns you'll ever see, by the way believable makes one victim watch as he soars the other one in half.

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Let me check that off my movies to watch as one of them not to watch.

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Terrifying. Wow, Alina, do you agree with the park research God, you know what the score is definitely, I think number one out of all these. Yeah, I mean, I would say the Spanish horse, you know, I almost said so that's a tie.

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Oh, God, don't even talk about it anymore. But you want to know something?

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No, I got a couple that, you know, go home. There's two that I just feel like they got to be talked about. They got to be mentioned. Well, do it quickly. Well, the first one is the brazen bull.

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I had that on. You remember the brazen bull? Yeah. How can I forget?

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This was done by perilous of Athens in the sixth century. It was correct.

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They would usually do it for people who committed treason. So had to be like a baddie to make it happen, a bad a real baddie.

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And they would take this hollow bronze bull, which is fancy. You would be ordered to go into this bull inside the hollowed out part of it. And then the door was locked behind you. And after that they lit a fire under the bull. And it was heated to the point that it was so red hot that you would just be roasted to death in the bull and the head of the bull. This is the fun part. Ready? The head of the bull had specialized tubes that converted the screams of the person inside into the bellowing of an angry bull.

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I'm sorry, but how did they have the technology for that back then? But not really anything for good.

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Just some tubes and pipes that made it sound like a bull is just yelling humanity like we think humanity's bad.

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Now, the last thing I'll talk about, which I think would be number one if it was on the list, is this the Viking one, the bloody eagle?

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I knew it. So this is the Viking one. The victim's hands and legs were tied. Then the person doing this would stab this person by his tailbone and up towards the cage. Each rib would then be one by one separated from the backbone with an axe, which left the victim's internal organs just out for everybody to see.

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By the way, the victim's alive through this. They have not killed them yet because torture through pretty much the whole thing.

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And then they would literally rub salt into the gaping wounds. Yep. Just rub some salt in there.

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And as if this isn't bad enough, after having all of these person's ribs cut up and spread out, the torturer would then pull the lungs out and fly them over the ribs to make it look like this person had a pair of wings spread out of their back.

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So the blood eagle was what you were you were just this big, slimy, bald eagle.

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I have nothing left to say to you. I'm out. I mean, that's number one right up by it's number one. Thanks for listening. We might be back next week with another great episode. Remember to follow Crime Countdown on Spotify to get a brand new episode delivered. Every week you can find all episodes of Crime Countdown and all of their PAKHI shows for free on Spotify.

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Spotify has all your favorite music and podcasts all in one place. They're making it easier to listen to whatever you want to hear for free on your phone, computer or smart speaker.

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And if you can't get enough of these creepy crimes, check out our After Crime Countdown podcast playlist on Spotify, where we've handpicked even more episodes about this week's stories that we think you'll enjoy.

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And if you like this show, follow that podcast on Facebook and Instagram and app podcast network on Twitter.

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And you know what? If you made it this far, congratulations. You deserve everything. And you know what you'd like.

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Our other show, which we also covered for Duvel, torture methods on morbid. You can listen to us anywhere that you listen to podcasts and you can follow us on Instagram at Morbid Podcast and on Twitter at a morbid podcast.

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Keep it weird and avoid triangular horses until next Monday.

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Don't look at the king with a side eye by Crime Countdown as a Spotify original from podcast. It is executive produced by Max Cuddler Sound Design by Kristen Acevedo with Associate Sound Design by Kevin McAlpine. Produced by Jon Cohen, an associate produced by Jonathan Rateliff.

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Fact Checking by Cara Marklin, research by Ambika Chautara JQ and Mikki Taylor. Crime Countdown Stars Ashkali and Lena Urca.

[00:31:22]

Hi, it's Vanessa again. Don't forget to check out the new Spotify original from podcast Superstitions. Listen every Wednesday for the surprising backstories to our most curious beliefs and thrilling tales that illuminate the mystical eeriness of our favorite superstitions.