Transcribe your podcast
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Remember when you were six and wanted to be a princess or a queen, and we all wanted to live in a castle and wear beautiful dresses and then get our heads chopped off, what?

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Oh, sorry, I got a little too real there.

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Today, we're covering the top 10 royal killers, the parts of the stories that never made it into our childhood fantasies.

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I would hope not. These crimes are baffling when you're the king. Life is good. There's no need to go and commit murder. But there's also no one to stop you. Very true. Still, as the great singer Lorde said, we'll never be royals.

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But these criminals make us think maybe we don't want to be. Hey, are you weirdo's, welcome to the podcast Original Crime Countdown. I'm Ash and I'm Alaina. Every week will highlight 10 fascinating stories of history's most engaging and unsettling crimes, all picked by the podcast Research Gods.

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This episode, we're counting down the top ten royal killers, royal killers.

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I love watching royal families.

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It is fascinating to me. So the cool thing about this list, in case you're all wondering, is that if you want to know immediately when you hear royals, you're going to think of the royal family. Yeah, English. Yeah. This one is global. So it's not just English royals. So we get to see and discuss a ton of scandals from a ton of different places.

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I think America is really obsessed with royals just because we don't have them. That's true. That's a solid point. Yeah, I feel like I've just never been into the link to the royal family or the royal families in general. Unless you count like Princess Diaries one and two. Those are great. Pretty heavy into that. You are pretty heavy. I know. I know. It's a big thing. It is. If I were like going to be a princess, I'd be a Princess Diana type because I have reasons.

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You do. She's hella classy. Sure. And super chic. And we love a philanthropic royal. We do. And I think you would be that. Do you think so? I do. I think you're way better suited to be royal than I am. I feel like you'd be good. You have the ability to present very demure when you lie to you. So do. And you know what the big thing is? What, you hold your tongue way better than I do.

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I can't even argue that way. Better I would make a terrible royal. Yeah, you'd be fighting. Yeah. As soon as someone gave me a rule like you have to be done with dinner. When the queen is done with dinner, I'd be like, all right, I'm out, like that's it. You would not be into.

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No. The only way I would be a royal is if I'm queen and I can just like dismantle the entire system. Good. Well maybe Alaina is on this list dismantling the system.

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Maybe you never know. I'm not sure, though, because Alayna has five scary nobles and so do I. I don't have Alaina, but maybe she has her. maybe I do. Neither of us knows which one the other one has. We don't. Let's start the countdown.

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Ten. Starting off our list of royal killers at number 10 is Henry the Eighth and the execution of two of his wives, King Henry the eighth had six wives in total, two of which he had killed Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard.

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We all learned those names we destroyed, but we did. Also, did you ever read that book, The Other Boleyn sister? I never read it, but I feel like I know it. Like every girl in our family read that.

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And I was subject to it. I was not. I stepped away from that. And I guess I'm not a good royal. No, Henry the eighth and his first wife only had a daughter and Henry needed a legitimate son to continue. The heir who needs a daughter.

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No one just well, he needed to continue the throne, so he needed the heir. So he turns his attention to Anne Boleyn and he's like, What's up, girl? And he was an ugly one. She was all for it. They did get married gross. But his marriage to end was technically bigamists because his marriage to Katherine wasn't annulled until a few months after he married.

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And are you following scandal? Scandal. Scandal is what I heard. Yes, exactly. OK, cool. I got it back then.

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Like, not even a king could get a divorce in those times, but Henry was like, try me straight up just to fight the pope. Wow. Which is not on my list of things to do today or ever. Yeah. Always a bad idea.

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Don't disregard the pope.

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I also feel like if this was not such a steaming pile of awful, like you would look at this and be like, oh my God, he really loved her. Romantic, romantic. And she went out of his way. What a grand gesture. But let me finish the story. And if you're thinking that you're like, whoa, never mind. You're like, oh, no. Yeah. So he he goes and he defies the pope regarding the separation from his first wife.

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Just to Marianne. Wow, that's real cute. But things didn't work out with him. Anan because she also was never able to produce a son. And she was accused by Henry of adultery, incest and conspiracy against him. Oh, never good to commit conspiracy against your husband, the king.

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I mean, in this case, two out of the three of those, I'm like, all right, I got it. I got incest. I'm like, man and come on, girl. But also maybe it was like her sixteenth cousin. We don't know. You never know. You never know.

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And while Anne Boleyn was beheaded, Henry was like off with her head. He loved doing that. He did. He said that far too much.

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It was like that was easy button, you know, off with her head. Now jump to Catherine Howard, his fifth wife and Anne's cousin. Well, I'm sure many people were cousins.

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Everybody was pretty sure she was at least two years younger than Henry's oldest daughter, Mary.

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I bet they had a ton to talk about. Yeah, like, what's up, Gramps? Yeah, but not long after they got married, talk of an affair with a younger nobleman and a secret promiscuous past got Catherine beheaded. Oh, she was a promiscuous girl, meanwhile, just makes her sound like really interesting to me.

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It does. I agree with you.

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And it's thought that she at the time may have only been seventeen years old, Woof. Henry was a big yucko, very iffy.

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Nine. And number nine this week is Cleopatra, Cleopatra often gets romanticized in pop culture, people even dress up like her at parties. But she was a politically motivated ruler who killed her own siblings to retain power. I didn't know that. I didn't know this either. I thought she was just like, cool. She just had great eyeliner, but nothing mysterious and fashionable, which I think she was as well. But there's more. She was just also real scary.

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So Cleopatra is no now, like we were saying for her sex appeal. But she was also super intelligent. Of course, they leave that out.

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Of course they do that like she was hot. She was a smoke show. She was she was totally a smoke show. But she was also had brains, just like coming out of her ears. They were everywhere. Well, and rulers like Mark Antony in Julius Caesar valued her for her mind.

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Julius Caesar, hashtag girl, boss, I guess the OG girl Oge hashtag girl Buzz. But then she married both of her adolescent younger brothers at different times during her life. This was a common practice among royals to like keep the bloodline real pure.

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Like, I don't understand how that makes it pure. It was a common practice, yes, but an icky one all the same for using my I don't want to do that.

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So her first brother husband ran her out of Egypt after she tried to take sole possession of the throne. He was like, I'm out. He was like, nope. Well, they got into a civil war and he was killed. Wow. Like siblings. Am I right? Just, you know, a typical sibling rivalry, civil war and all. I once threw a hardcover book at my older brother's face. I read the story so many times I got in trouble.

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But that's not the same. No, no, it is not a civil war. That book did not kill it. Didn't I feel better about the whole situation? I'm glad that twenty years later, free therapy, I'm going to call my brother JP up and be like, remember that time at least I didn't cause the Civil War and kill you. Didn't kill you bruh. So get over it. She then killed her sister Arsinoë on the steps of a temple for teaming up with that brother's efforts and to solidify her position as ruler.

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You are also out. She's just knocking down siblings. She's like, yeah, because she was like, you know what? I need to be the ruler. You're in my way. And you were just on his side who I just killed in the Civil War. So you're dead. You're out. She then married. Ding, ding, ding. Her younger brother. No way but had him killed to secure her son's chances of the throne. She had a son, not by that brother.

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This son was fathered by Julius Caesar. No way. Yeah. A lot of people don't know that. I did not know that it was a power couple of the century. Our move. But like, stop marrying your brothers again. Stop doing just a little PSA. I don't think she had any left after this. I'm not real sure. But like, she killed them all if she did stop doing it. It's not working out after all that.

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When Octavian beat out Cleopatra and Marc Anthony to run the Roman Empire, she committed suicide. Rather than fall under his rule, the drama, she would be held down by no man. She was like, I will die before somebody runs me.

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I'm out. Wow. Eight. Number eight on our countdown of top ten royal killers is Eric the 14th. What sets this 16th century king of Sweden, apart from some other monarchs on this list is that he committed murder with his own hands. He got down and dirty. He got down and dirty, as Eric does. I know. I love that. His name is Eric. Do you feel like this wrong? Eric doesn't seem like a king named like there's nothing wrong with the name Eric.

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No. I just always think of, like, a Henry or James or like I can't name another king. I literally can't fill up George. OK, we get it. I'm good.

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Well, King Eric the 14th was apparently an intelligent and well read king before his slow descent into violence and mental instability.

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We started so high and then we went so low like a rollercoaster. He was notable in his reign for an ambitious expansion that was later dubbed Nordiques Seven Years War. Have you heard of it? Maybe. I'm not real sure. I don't know.

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And he also was famous for marrying a commoner instead of royalty. Good job, Eric.

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We've got another power move on the line. That's such an Eric move, isn't it? It is. I love it. So the strain of war for sure, contributed to his mental collapse. And he became an extremely paranoid person. He felt the entire aristocracy conspired against him. That doesn't seem paranoid to me. It just seems smart. I think so, too, because they probably were conspiring probably where there's always conspiracies and yeah. Aristocrat world. I'm saying I think Eric just knew what was up.

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He did. He ordered the murders of five nobles of the influential Stewert family, even though he had already imprisoned them for conspiracy against him. So that's that descent into madness. Like two birds with like eight stone.

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Yeah, they're already locked up. Let's just murder. Just murder. And while we're at it, his frustrations were all channeled towards one person in the family, though. Who was it? Nils Duer, who became his imagined nemesis. He stabbed Nils to death.

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That's not cool that he stabbed Nilsa. Laughing Because I love imagined nemesis. I feel like I have a couple imagined nemesis. I have real nemesis side.

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Now listen to multiple. There's a few. Yeah, I'm scared of everybody. No, no.

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OK, I'll leave the nobles dethroned Derek just like they would with you and they threw him in prison. That was not enough for the people though. They were unsatisfied. They said that punishment was not enough. He's going to escape jail. So they were like, you know what will assassinate him? And they did that by allegedly poisoning his pea soup. Wow. Which I'm infuriated. I hate pea soup. I love pea soup. You do not you don't mess with pea soup.

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The fighting continues. Well, I would dethrone you just for not like if you poison something as disgusting as pea soup and make it my last meal. I'm a hot you know, he thought he was getting a good cup of that stuff.

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No way. Seven. At number seven this week is Queen Rania of the queen of Madagascar, took the throne after her husband died in eighteen twenty eight under her rule. Authorities often administered what's called the 10 Jenah trial, a cruel and ineffective practice. You go to tell me about it.

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Cruel and ineffective is like a real nice way of saying, what is it? So her subjects had to eat three pieces of chicken skin, followed by poison oak. If they puked up the chicken, they were deemed innocent. If not, they were executed.

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So I think you call that a lose lose situation. Yeah, it's basically an impossible way to get out of this. Like, you can't claim innocence from double death.

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Like, you can't do it because you would most likely just die from ingesting the poison. And yet, no matter what you did, so you puke it up, you're innocent. And if you don't, you're poisoned and you're executed. Anyway, that's, like I said, a lose lose. Yeah, it's no good.

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Although this practice was outlawed in 1863, it is continued to be practiced in secret and other parts of the island which blew my brains apart still today. Yeah. They're like, um, a poison and a poison. Not a good thing. Robinov Ilona's other torturous faves included very classic things. You know, the old standbys like amputation. Oh, crucifixion, pouring boiling water on victim's head. I don't like that one in my favorite one song. People in half.

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Well, that's like a magic show. Yeah, that's just a I don't like the the boiling water on people's heads. That really upsets me.

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No, I don't like that either because I don't even like my shower that hot. Oh I do, but I don't. So maybe you would love it.

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You'd be like, all right, I'm not telling you. I don't know about that. I would imagine I do not like to read this feels luxurious. You have that old body wash. I'm going to get out of here and I'm going to be. So you're glowing. No, I would hate it.

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Yeah. She killed thousands a year, primarily Christians. She did this because she disliked the religion due to colonization struggles and also the church's influence threatened her power. These people do not like when their power is threatened. Do not threaten people's power until you do away the power. Yeah. That all of these people are like, don't do it. I just made me think of Labrinth, the babe with the but the power, one of the best movies ever.

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Some historians say she was barbaric.

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To which I say, what do you what? I would do the same thing. Pavlina But others say she was just continuing the work of her husband and fighting off invading European powers.

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OK, either way, pretty barbaric, I would say.

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Yes, but, you know, to each their own. Six. Also on our list at number six, Prince Dipendra of Nepal, in June 2001, Prince Dipendra walked into a royal family gathering and opened fire, killing nine, including his father, the king of Nepal, before shooting himself. That is not very prince like. No. So what had happened was the people of Nepal demonstrated for a democracy and the king actually agreed to a compromise. That's nice, which is super nice.

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And like, I love you. I love you. That really escalated. Well, like, I love, like, a noble guy. That's a very nice thing. I love you. I love nice people. It's just how I am. It is. Dipendra did not love him. No. The King's son Dipendra was furious because his time on the throne was now going to be weakened or like threatened in general. Don't threaten power. No.

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And he was not somebody to threaten or infuriate. I guess not, because he was. This is insane. He was known for having a super, like, sadistic nature. He would sometimes burn a cat or a mouse, like just for fun. Yes, that's mean. Just a hobby. A daytime hobby. Wow. I mean, he did this in 2001. So I'm like, what? Just going to say, OK, Jeffrey Dahmer.

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Right. His father was his first target in the massacre. Obviously, he was real pissed off. I'm not shocked. There's speculation the killing was part of dependent's anger, that he couldn't marry the woman he loved from England or he would have to give up the throne, which is like if you love her that much, the throne should not matter. And also, any other time, I'd be like, yeah, that's probably I felt like he couldn't marry his forbidden love like a commoner.

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Somebody from another place know we love a struggle.

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But Dipendra to me just seems like that was not the case. Doesn't it seem whiny? Yeah, I don't think this was over. Like I want to marry my true love. I think he was like, oh, I want to be on the throne.

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I'm scared for what would have happened if he was on the throne. Worf. Well, however, many people in Nepal do not buy the official story, and they think the king's brother was really the one behind the murders, or at least he was the one that put the prince up to it. Plot twist. Does that happen in Hamlet or am. I don't know. I think it does. Huh? So my favorite one so far is Cleopatra.

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Yeah, she was why I had no idea how wild she was. She was insane. I really didn't know. I knew that King Henry was going to be on the list. Oh, for sure. Definitely. When I saw him at number 10, I was like, what are we in for?

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Where do we go from here? I'm excited to see. I am, too.

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Kate, here, if you're looking to add some more fun to your feed, subscribe to Parks Network's new show, Incredible Feats. Every weekday, comedian Dan Cummins, who you might recognize from the hit podcast Time, Zach explores an unbelievable account of physical strength, mental focus or bizarre behavior. Don't miss the story of a man who broke the sound barrier while skydiving from the edge of space, or the harrowing tale of a 17 year old girl who survived alone in a rain forest for 11 days after her plane broke apart midair.

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Or the ultra marathoner whose rare genetic condition lets him run for days without stopping incredible feat spotlights mind blowing achievements of everyone from world class athletes and record breakers to scientists, architects, artists and more such incredible feats and follow free on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. Five. All right, let's jump back in with number five on our countdown of royal killers starting off the second half of our list is Nero. Modern historians question how much Niros evil has been exaggerated over time.

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But it's been said in addition to killing family and friends, he also liked to have random people on the streets of Rome just murdered. Oh, good. Yeah. Nero started off as a relatively good ruler, which is strange, but there was a reason for this. It wasn't like he was just this good guy that was like doing great things. He was like, I'm so awesome. And it was mostly because of the counseling of advisers around him since he was like 16 at the beginning of his reign.

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So he wasn't even doing any. So he had people being like, oh, no, don't murder people because he was probably at 16 being like, can I just like pick this person off real quick? And they're like, no, no, no, no. That's not what kings do. Yeah. And later he was like, oh, I can just do that. So his administration did undo many of the existing bad rules like capital punishment, secret trials, and they even allowed slaves to complain about bad masters.

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I love this show so far. It's like Nero, Nero. So far, so good. You're doing OK. Keep going on the good path. It did take a turn, though. A slight turn. OK, this was when he murdered his mother for unclear reasons. Why don't you say that it took a turn. You meant that it like bang you. Yeah, a hairpin turn. Wow.

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It wasn't one of those. Like I'm just going to kind of beer is just going to murder his mom. Yeah. He just straight up turned around. Yeah. No good. And they don't know why. It's unclear. Just like yeah. She probably wouldn't let him kill somebody else on the street. Probably like then I'll kill you.

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Well then he banished and murdered his wife, likely because he was falling in love with another woman and he suspected she was plotting against him.

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She was probably plotting against him for falling in love with another woman.

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So you murdered your mother. Now you're murdering your wife like Cho. And also you don't even like your wife, Nero. Take up knitting something, get a different hobby, do something. Nero gained, which, to everyone's dismay, Nero gained more independence from his advisors. That's not what we need. Yeah, because room was now victim to the arbitrary desires of what we would call a mad tyrant. Yeah, he sounds like Joffre from Game of Thrones.

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He truly does. It is. There it is.

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He publicly performed in plays and athletics and other antics that Romans were like, wait a second, this is kind of beneath you, like you're the emperor, like you're supposed to be hiring people to do that. And he was like, I love the theater. The theater is my escape from the murder is calling me. He just wanted to be an actor. Just let him do it. Maybe he was going to help him out.

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I don't know. I have been therapeutic. Yeah. Get some of that like cathartic. Yeah. It's been rumored that Nero sang while the fire took over the city. That was a popular anecdote that is likely not true. Like to comfort himself or to just think about happy impending doom. He was just like that. Things were being destroyed, just whistling. But again, that was likely not true. It's just kind of like a popular anecdote. But it's kind of fun to be like, yeah, that dude was so deranged that he did this.

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Yeah. The city then devolved into chaos and Nero killed himself after discovering that the Senate had declared him a public enemy and they were going to sentence him to death. He's like, beat you to it. It was like, all right, I'm out. For. Landing at number four this week is Elizabeth Boucherie, my girl, I was waiting for her. I knew you would be. I was. According to legend, this Hungarian countess is responsible for the deaths of 600 or more young women who were lured to her castle, possibly so she could bathe in the blood of the young virgins, which she believed had magical youth granting properties, although that's completely unconfirmed.

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So you're saying she invented the first bottle of A.H. egregious oil of common virgin soil bloody.

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Not many records exists to prove what really happened in her castle before she was investigated and 16 09.

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But I feel like that's probably a good thing, probably good. And it is possible that the investigation was politically motivated.

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What happened in the Boucherie castle stays in the boucherie. So you're going to find out. Well, you already know, but a lot stays in the castle a lot. And no hard evidence exists either, except for hundreds of witnesses and evidence of women who were mutilated and murdered have been found to corroborate those stories.

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That'll do it. That will do it. Previous claims that she murdered peasant women were ignored. But when women from noble families started disappearing, that's when people were like, we need to do something.

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Of course, now they're like, wait a second, they're taking our noble daughters. That's what they're good for. Now it's true. That is what they're good to see. You need a daughter. You do. Well, Elizabeth was not doing this all completely solo. Dollo there were accomplices working with her in all these terrible murders. Three of her servants were implicated and executed. Two other servants confessed to the burial of the victims, but only two witnesses were actually willing to testify that they were present at the scene of the torture and the murders.

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Yeah, who wants to say that they were there for that?

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They probably got their mind, just like they were not to. Their survival instinct was like, we're going to shut this off. Let me help you.

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We're going to go dark real quick. Yeah. Do you remember that one? Because we covered this from morbid. Yeah. And I remember doing like a project on this in school. Do you remember the one where she tied a girl outside in the dead of summer and covered her in honey naked and just let whatever came to eat her eater?

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I actually didn't remember that, but I'm really so glad that you reminded me.

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Glad I could bring it back. Thanks for that. Yeah, I'm here for you. Gross. Well, Elizabeth herself, like you said, what happens in the castle stays in the castle.

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Certainly does. Elizabeth herself was confined to her chambers in the castle for the rest of her life. She was Bricktown on the right is going to go ahead and box you in here. We're going to pretend you're not there. Bye bye.

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She goes down in history and has been labeled as the most prolific female murderer by Guinness World Records. What an honor. First, carry me throughout this countdown. I'm sure she would find it an honor.

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She would. Three number three on our list of royal killers is Giel Doré, a French Nobel. Doré famously fought alongside Joan of Arc, but after retiring to the countryside, he kidnapped, tortured and murdered hundreds of young children. Dark turn. Yeah, went real good. Real bad. Like Joan would not be very proud. I feel like she wouldn't either. I don't know her personally, but I feel like she wouldn't be into that.

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You guys are best friends. We're not same time period at that close, but not the same. Thanks a lot. You're welcome. So both of Jill's parents died around 14 15. His father died from a gruesome hunting accident which had to cause drama. Yeah. And his mother died from an unknown cause nobody really knows what happened.

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Maybe it was him. He is known as one of history's earliest recorded serial killers. So he's hanging around the likes of like Elizabeth Boucherie, all those gruesome people I thought of, like Jack the Ripper. But that's like even way later. Yeah. That's why later he fought nobly beside Joan of Arc during the Hundred Years War. And after retiring as a soldier, he went back to his wealthy estate and then he just recklessly spent the fortune that would soon run out.

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You can't spend all the money. He just became a playboy. He just went home. It was like, I'm just going to do my thing. I'll spend my money. Leisa, I'm sure he had many fur rugs. I just feel I love a fur coat. He did. He had one week faux fur. Yeah, always. So he became increasingly pious and then interested in the occult. But he came interested in the occult mainly because of financial reasons, because he was like, maybe I can magically recover some of my fortune.

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I was like, wait for financial reasons, like it's cheap to be guilty or you just make a lot of money being a cult.

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Do you know he just like I speak from personal experience, know do not still drain, you know.

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No, he just thought he can magically recover his fortune and spoiler alert he didn't.

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So then children began to go missing and they were always around him. They were missing all over the place and he just always happened to be around. He was always the last person that saw them. It was like so weird. That happens to a lot of people, right? Wild. Well, he was eventually convicted of killing about 100 victims and was sentenced to burn and hang at the same time. If you're going to kill a kid, I feel like that's what you deserve.

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Honestly, there has been crimes like of recent years that I'm like, yeah, hang them when they do something to a kid. I'm like, sure, yeah. Polly Klaas murder. Go for it.

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His confession was extracted using threat of torture, as usually was back then, leading to a few historians wondering whether or not he really was guilty or whether he was just being forced into saying he was guilty, which we know does happen.

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Yeah, I feel like this one was a little too coincidental.

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I just get vibes from jail. Bad vibes. I do. I'm just glad that Elizabeth Boucherie is on this list. I knew that you were like, where is she? I was because she wasn't in my five and I was like Sparkasse research girls don't get you me dirty and leave Elizabeth off this list.

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They didn't she would probably be the only person along with like Henry thought I'd be like, oh, I knew them.

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I can point to this because I really don't know any other ones. I know one other one and they're on my list. So that's when you know them. No, I knew them before my list.

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To. The runner up spot on our countdown of royal killers at number two is Genghis Khan, one of history's most famous conquerors. The Mongolian ruler slash warrior is often credited with the deaths of approximately 40 million people. That's a good amount of people. That's a solid amount of people.

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As Genghis Khan had a ruthless intention behind his cruelty, he was like, this is what's up.

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Here's why I do what I do. I'm going to lay it all down for you. I want all the power. And in order for me to get that, I'm going to eliminate the aristocrats. And anybody who's disloyal to the vision just has to go, yeah, we've got to wipe it clean. So that's how he did that. That's not good. The weird thing is that some of his most trusted generals were actually former enemies of his. Wow, that's growth.

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And I feel like they just had to, like, prove to him that they were loyal I guess?

[00:29:55]

I mean, apparently you wanted to make sure he thought you were loyal. Yeah, I'm sure I don't know. Historians believe his crusades were brutal because they were driven by a divine mission to conquer the world for their supreme God. Tanguy seems legit. It does. I agree with you. The sheer volume of deaths were staggering because he would take out large populations like the size of the Mongol Empire alone, covered an area that was almost as big as Africa.

[00:30:21]

That's huge. Real big out there, real big.

[00:30:24]

This is sad and really awful. Genghis raped a ton of women and he took like multiple wives and the lands that he conquered. So because of that, a significant part of the population in that area shares a direct lineage to Mr Khan.

[00:30:40]

What a tough version of Twenty Three and me. I was like a really good one. Yeah, that's really tough. Yeah, it definitely is. And just one more gruesome tidbit for you to really drive home the point of how much he sucks. Ganga's often use the bodies of conquered people as human shields when he needed to. Wow. He was just like waste. Not want not right. Not to use it all. Have you ever heard that song?

[00:31:04]

I think it's a Mike Snow song called Genghis Khan. Yes, I have. Now that you, like, know more about Genghis Khan, you're like, really? Mike's not really like snow. You get a little bit Genghis Khan. You get a little bit use someone as a human shield to him, obviously.

[00:31:36]

And that brings us to number one on our countdown of the top 10 royal killers, Vlad the Impaler said to be stokers inspiration for Dracula. Vlad the third prince of Malaysia, was born in Transylvania in the 15th century, and it's infamously known for impaling his enemies.

[00:31:55]

It's all in the name. It's all right up front. Like he's not trying to play. He's like, this is what I do, Vlad.

[00:32:00]

Don't give it up like he's going to you.

[00:32:04]

Yikes. Vlad the Impaler would actually impale his victims as a mode of torture. Yes. And he would let them just hang there for days, just all in pelts.

[00:32:15]

And sometimes it would take days for them to die. Well, yeah, because you're just, like, bleeding out. Yeah.

[00:32:19]

You're just from one impalement and you're trying to struggle off of it, which is impaling you more. It's just all bad. There's no good. It's all bad.

[00:32:28]

He's thought to have killed eighty thousand victims, twenty thousand of which were impaled and put on display. Why were they put on display the weirdest art installation I've ever heard in my life. He's like, look at my artwork. He was really ahead of its time. I guess so, yeah. He was so ruthless in order to consolidate power that he invited hundreds of Boyer's, which are others in line for the throne to a banquet just to have him stabbed.

[00:32:51]

I mean, it makes sense because to a dinner at my place.

[00:32:54]

Have you seen my artwork? You've seen it. You wouldn't come. Have you seen my installation? And they're all like, that's weird. And he's like, it's cool because we're going to stab you anyway. Yeah, good. I don't need your opinion.

[00:33:04]

Vlad the Impaler did bring order and stability to the area despite his viciousness. But I think it was more because of.

[00:33:11]

Yeah, I was literally just going to say that the site of the decaying bodies being picked apart by crows was so repulsive that it kept other rulers from invading. If you're going to do it somehow, that's the way I guess. Did it work or not? It did. It worked. So that's all we got.

[00:33:28]

He did his job, I guess when Vlad was finally captured and beheaded, his own head was put on a pike and displayed above the city streets of Constantinople. You know what? I feel like he wouldn't even be mad at that, though. No, I feel like that was like what he was. You actually wrote that in his. Well, I feel like please display my head in art installation and things like. So Vlad acts of love. No one would have remembered, Vlad, if there hadn't been an eighteen twenty book by the British consul to Malaysia that Bram Stoker actually read.

[00:33:59]

Then Bram Stoker took him as direct inspiration for Dracula, who we know as the world's quintessential vampire.

[00:34:07]

We do. I love Hotel Transylvania.

[00:34:10]

Same thing. Exactly, yes. What do you think about that list? I got to say, I think Blad deserves the number one spot. Yeah, he killed a lot of people. I really do really worked on his art installation. He really did those a lot. Elizabeth Boucherie was right where she was supposed to be. Oh, yeah. She was definitely supposed to be there. And then, I mean, Cleopatra, I never would have thought of her.

[00:34:44]

So I'm really glad that she was on the list. Yeah, Nero was kind of like I was like, all right. Nero he was a little bit joffre, like I said he was. And I wasn't expecting it. I was like, all right, Nero, you came out of left field. This was like a super fun history lesson.

[00:34:56]

It was because I don't know a lot about the royals. I guess I, like, blacked this out in high school. Yeah, we all. Well, thanks for listening. We'll be back next week with another great episode. Remember to follow Crime Countdown on Spotify to get a brand new episode delivered.

[00:35:11]

Every week you can find all episodes of Crime Countdown and all other precast originals for free on Spotify. Spotify has all your favorite music and podcasts all in one place. They're making it easier to listen to whatever you want to hear for free on your phone, your computer or smart speaker. And if you can't get enough of these creepy crimes, check out our After Crime Countdown podcast playlist on Spotify, where we've handpicked even more episodes about this week's stories that we think you'll enjoy.

[00:35:40]

And if you like this show, follow app podcast on Facebook and Instagram and app podcast network on Twitter.

[00:35:47]

And you know what? If you like us, you can follow more. But our other podcast on Instagram at Morbid Podcast or on Twitter at a morbid podcast and keep it weird till next Monday by Weirdo's Crime Countdown was created by Max Cutler and is a podcast studio's original. It is executive produced by Max Cutler, Sound Design by Kevin McAlpin, produced by Jon Cohen, Jonathan Rateliff and Kristen Acevedo. Crime Countdown stars Ash Kelly and Alaina Urquhart.

[00:36:24]

Hey, podcasters, don't forget to check out the brand new Spotify original from past incredible feats, join host Dan Cummins as he explores true accounts of weird, wonderful and all out wild achievements. New episodes premiere daily Monday through Friday, search incredible feats and follow free on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.