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If you watch the Reagans, yikes, you know, Showtime, the Reagans docu series, it's remarkable how history just repeats itself. You watch it and you go, oh, wait, this is just like now.

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Yeah, no, I haven't seen that one yet because I've been fully immersed in the crown. How is the crown? Do you play chess? No, that's the Queen's Gambit. Oh that's right.

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Yeah, it's confusing.

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I'll give it to you because it's called the Queen's Gambit.

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Honestly, it's not even confusing. It's literally me just going things that that go with royalty. All right. I'll assume they're all one thing.

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How does anyone know about anything?

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There's so much member. There was a time when you got onto the telephone, you turn the television on and you just had to watch what was available at 8pm and you had to pick which place you were going to go for whatever they had at 8:00.

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And all of those places fought to keep your attention for a block of of shows while they had their high priced advertising. Yeah.

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For the for and that's why I went must see Thursdays or whatever that block and then like TGIF on ABC for a great Friday nights, like crushing it.

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And now there's so much out there all over the place, it's on streaming services. I'm just like is if like ten thousand people watch something is that considered like good like I mean.

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Oh wow. Got to be right. It's totally crazy because. Because when you were saying that right.

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I was like and if you were lucky you got a VHS tape that you could record something in one room and then watch something in the other room and then maybe it worked and you can watch it later.

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And now we've even surpassed DVR and recording and all that stuff. Yeah, because now it's just there. It's just always there waiting on you. I feel like every week someone else has asked me if I've watched something and I'm like, I haven't gotten to the other 20 things that I'm sure are like fucking great. I'm sure they're great. Totally. It's almost like homework now. Oh. Trying to keep up a hundred percent. And also like there's like social peer pressure, like are you watching it or have you watched it.

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I know like right now everyone's watching The Undoing with Hugh Grant and and Nicole Kidman. Barely know about the flight attendant with Kaley Cuoco, which saw the whole board.

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I don't know what it is. Yeah, it's pretty good. And honestly, I would love all of it. Probably would walk away going special you have ever seen.

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I but but as it stands, I don't even know where to go to get those things. It's so insane.

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I, I feel like and welcome to the way things used to be with Ruthie and Rory.

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You're listening to angry nostalgia. Ruthie and Rory. Remember that TV guy?

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I remember VCR. Zayyad really likes my father and I hate how it is now, how it was then and I hate how it is that it's never been good.

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You get a new TV and you have to log it with a new password. And I can't figure it out. I can't remember what my password is for.

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I don't know who my cable provider.

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I don't know how much I hate when you go to get like a new like I went to get the Showtime app and. Yeah. Who is your cable, sir? I'm like, I don't fucking know. No, come on show.

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What's that password. I don't need a password. When was it established. Yeah. When I got DirecTV like six years ago.

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I can't remember that.

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Are you know, have you not watched the documentary about passwords. Yeah.

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Our guest today is top notch, wonderful guy, folks. His name is Tom Papà, and he loves baking bread constantly. He's also New Jersey bread without the A.. He's a father to two daughters, one of whom started college this past fall right before we started recording this conversation. So you're getting fresh, Tom. Child just flew the nest, Papa. And if you don't know of him yet, I highly recommend you checking out his stand up.

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He has just recently released his fourth hour long special. You're Doing Great on Netflix and it is fantastic. I love this guy. He's so fun. He makes me laugh and he's such a good dude. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Tom Popoff. Tom brought a loaf of bread to my house and it was so good, my wife's been baking and it just put all that she's ever made, like to shame. And she knew it. She bit into it.

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She gave me that look like, who the fuck does he think he is coming over here challenging me?

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I was wondering what her attitude was, because I. I mean, it was early on a Sunday, so I was like, maybe she's just not a morning person. But she was you got up a couple of times to go do something and she just like silence, just glaring.

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Well, it's good to know that the turf wars, the turf wars, turf wars, what do you do with all four?

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You don't eat all those. Are you just doing deliveries?

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Yeah, we'll go through a good amount, but yeah, there's always extra and I'm always running into people. If people do my podcast, I usually drop off bread for them as a thank you. Yeah. And then a lot of my neighbors get it. Sometimes I'll freeze it. But it's been weird giving it out to the neighbors just like because, you know, we don't see them that often.

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And then there's just like this knock at the door who knocks on the door during a pandemic and the hands you bread from their kitchen. So intimate. Yeah.

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And it's funny because I think a couple of them are used to getting it.

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One of the newer ones having like hit me back and said like, hey, that was great.

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Or Yeah, I'm always waiting for the test. Right. Yeah. And they're not the only reason to give out food that you've made is to get there. Yeah. So when did you start making bread. How old were you. Like did it, did your family bake.

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No, not really.

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My family was cooks. Yeah. There's an Italian family so there was a lot of people cook food was always like, yeah. So where did you grow up?

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I grew up in Los Angeles, but my grandparents. Yeah, Italy now.

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But my grandparents lived in Ohio, but they were both full Italian, Sicilian and Celebrezze.

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Yeah, yeah. We've got Sicilian too. And so yeah. So you know, so there's like a lot of that going on but not a lot of like bread baking. Yeah. But I, a friend of mine taught me or was baking bread. We're in a writer's room together and he told me about how he what the sour dough starter was in this science fiction of flour and water.

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And there's just yeast comes into it and I just tell my family about it. And my daughter, who was probably fourteen at the time, got a starter started for me for Christmas. Oh, cool.

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Oh, without my knowing it, she was like hiding a bowl in the in the cabinet.

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And that gave me that as a gift. And I was like, oh thanks. This is Merry Christmas to you. Yeah.

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Yeah. Thanks for this bowl and do enjoy the thousands of presents under the tree for you.

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Here's an iPad and here's some things that cost money. Yeah.

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And a little initiative. Yeah.

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But it ended up being one of the greatest gifts because I just started baking with it and I got hooked on it really quickly and it just took off. And that's been five years probably.

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Is this anything your kids get into or your kids like. I go and I want to do this with Dad. I want it like your daughter who got you that?

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Was that something she was like, this is going to be a gift and we're going to do it together and we're going to finally talk.

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It was more of a where's the bread?

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Yeah, where's my where's my delicate waffles? Yeah, I guess it's about five years ago.

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I expect fresh baked bread and waffle bagels every time I roll into the kitchen.

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And that was the one thing when I was on the road, like all of a sudden they were asking, like when I was coming home to the bank or having to do with me.

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I just had to go back to my other job or starting a baking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How old are they?

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They're 15 and 18.

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Oh cool. Yeah, one just left. We just dropped her off in college. Did you cry. Yeah. For two straight days. Yeah. Two straight. Yeah. I almost texted you and said whatever you do don't get too close to them.

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It's like I always start out.

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I never understood why people would get like a German shepherd or a Great Dane like one of those big lovable giant presence in the house dogs that lasts for like six months. So I'm going to fall in love with this thing. Has to be dead before the next president comes in. I was like that make no sense to me. And now I'm like thinking, well, this kid thing isn't much different.

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Right. What about your wife? Is that how she took it, too?

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Yeah, we're actually it's pretty cool since we've been back.

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It's good to have the space and the less demands for. Yeah. Like I went shopping for food.

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I was like, I don't need as much food for three.

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Yeah. And the one we're. He doesn't even eat that much, so this is all right. I see this one remaining. I want to finally get some pizza rolls. Yeah, the final prisoner doesn't even like my food. All right. Good to go.

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So I thought coming back was going to be harder, but I figured when we got back that we're going to have another wave of it.

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And that was kind of OK. That was like, oh, she should be here anymore.

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She's like, what? I saw her room again.

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I was like, yeah, she should be there with you this time. This time. Yeah.

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Especially after being with us twenty four hours a day since March.

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I wonder if that made it easier. Maybe that made it easier for a lot of parents whose kids did go off. They were like, look, if it was a normal summer, I'd probably be more sad. But honestly, we're sick of each other.

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I completely. I was. Yeah, that's really how it went.

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So she hasn't been crying since she was here, but she was crying like up to it. That was kind of honestly the one thing I didn't appreciate so much is I don't really cry that much. Ever since I've had kids, I cry easier. Yeah, of course. You know anything with a father and a daughter with two girls. So anything with a. Yeah. Yeah, that's easy. But, you know, you kind of keep it together.

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So I'm not sobbing at a Geico commercial. It's you know, you're watching Monday Night Football.

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You'll be losing it. Exactly.

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But it was funny. She was packing up to leave. It was like a couple of days before we flew out and I was just in her room. She was doing stuff. And it just struck me and it was like, I'm in my room. And I was just like, it's bedtime and I'm in my room just like crying.

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The delight that my wife had when she found me crying full on, crying in my room. It's very unsettling. It's like she was overjoyed.

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I know that I was sobbing.

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I was like, why would I strangely understand? She wanted to talk about it, wanted to talk about why I was crying. And then like the next day, you bringing it up again. It was like, I know this is weird, but it seemed like a small victory for her.

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Let me I let's let's chat about this. Like, what is that? Because I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah. And is it like because we as men, we've just been taught that it's pokerface no matter what. Every card is close to the chest and you don't reveal the stuff that when even my wife, if I really have emotions about something, she really wants to talk about it and explore it, because I feel like women as friends.

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And Ruthe, this is your department right here.

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I feel like they women are just and obviously not all and all men aren't like this, but women are very, like willing to share and open up and talk about those things, whereas for some reason, men, it is so much harder. And I don't know, it's that because we're taught that it's like a sign of weakness at some point, even though we know now as as mature, evolved men that that's not the truth. It's so weird that still you don't want to give your wife, you know what?

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This car. I know. Do you have an opinion, Ruth?

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Well, I think I'm I'm not I'm not I'm not married and I don't currently live with with anyone.

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But I did four or five years.

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And I like when you see that it's like almost. Oh, we have something in common. Yes. Are you're like, oh my God, he's showing emotion. He is he is in touch with his feelings. He's right.

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And then it's like you have a chance to like, comfort them. Yeah. And you feel like, oh, OK, cool. So we are both human beings like.

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Yeah. And I'm thinking as you're comforting me, I'm thinking, make no mistake, this is temporary.

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I am not as weak as you are. Right. And we're going yeah, we know we're going to let you believe that it's OK. It's OK. So that's what's been holding us back for centuries.

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And yet we think we're winning. You won't get to us. And every woman is like, you know, if you just let it go, you will blossom extremely. You'll figure out a lot of stuff. Yeah.

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And it is true because. You know, after not holding it in, not even able to hold it in, but not holding it in for the whole trip and having emotion leading up to it and back, you do feel like more relaxed.

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It's like you you know, you let it out and it's just like, you know. Yeah, yeah.

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You're not, like, still like having your neck locked in and you're back spasming. You know, you do change and you it is opening.

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But there is also the other part in our Neanderthal defense that that's a great description.

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It's a lack of control. It's you feel like you're losing control. And our whole life is trying to maintain some control, even if it's the illusion of it. It's to keep it together and keep everybody safe and keep everything going and keep my business going and keep everything like.

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And then when you just start sobbing on a street corner, it's like you don't feel like you've got it all wrapped up, right?

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Yeah, it's weird. It's definitely weird.

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I know it's healthy, but I tell you and this is probably more a relationship thing than than anything else, but just the delight, like she just wants to keep bringing it up like.

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Yeah, like you were weaker than me for a while and and I saw it.

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I know now I know that you. So I would love it if she made fun of you. I can't believe I can't believe you love her that that you cry that she's now growing more.

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Yeah I know we still have the other one.

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But also I think sometimes it gives the other person a sense of like maybe you I was like alleviated her sadness a little bit.

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When you see someone else reacting more to a situation than you are, even though you're both like you're both in the same boat, you're both sad that your baby girl is gone away to school.

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Yeah. And that, like, evolution is happening and here it comes.

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But right now you feel like crying in places to try to get them to cry. Now, teaming up with his wife, phrases like your baby girl, baby girl. What are you doing to this man? She's gone forever ago.

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You know, I wonder I wonder, since you guys haven't cried, did you got back? I wonder if your daughter's checked with the younger one, just like how have they been? She's like have even cried at all. Honestly, he's crushing the waffles now. Yeah. More waffles for me. Yeah. I haven't seen them cry one time, so he's definitely been hiding it when he goes into the attic to look for support for his baking.

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Still is baking still that he's got to keep next to the Christmas tree up in the attic.

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Good. Was your dad, like kind of keeps it in or is he because sometimes and we've mentioned this on the show that sometimes it's generational, like one dad is kind of sappy than the next dad is doesn't show anything, then the kid ends up being sappy and it just keeps. Right.

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Right. Yeah.

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When you say it that way, I feel like our generation has kind of the first balance of it's not really sappy, but it's not closed off. You know, we're living in a pretty great time where people openly speak about, you know, mental health and stuff. And there's like a real everybody's really like going after it and what it is to be healthy and stuff. So I think we've got to have that on our side.

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But my father was of the generation for sure, of very stoic keeping it in. And then when it would come out, it was so blubbering and weird.

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I just just don't do that again.

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Just say, geez, what are you doing? Do you need to go to the attic? What's going on? Yeah, that's right.

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Look, if your mom told you you have to show your feelings, she was wrong. Yeah. Because she does not know what they look like.

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These are coming out of a primordial ooze that is not attractive, that they feel unsafe.

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Like you're not fit to take care of me. Right. Exactly.

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Yeah. Yeah. You keep it together. Yeah. I don't I don't like this new version, but that would only happen like like a funeral for somebody who was very close that I would kind of blurt out. But no other than that it was he would just get quiet and.

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Mhm. Yeah. Uh he would start humming louder. Yeah.

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Mm hmm. I was like oh that's just crying.

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No one will ever know.

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Yeah. I am made of string. Yeah.

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I just feel like men as they age they feel this need to like open up a little bit and be a little more sentimental. And I think when some people I feel like some men and it could be women as well, although my impression at least the women in my life, they've just been doing it all along. Yeah. They didn't go all right.

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And then when I turned 80, I'll get all this off my chest so I can enjoy the last two years of my life without any anxiety.

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Yeah, but I feel like as men, it's always like even with kids, it's always like a random like I got a story to finally share with you right now that you're way out of age range to where the story would even matter.

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Yeah. And I want to tell you.

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Right, exactly. And I've forgotten the details and who I'm even speaking to. Yeah. Yeah.

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I've noticed that guys, if they have like a near-death experience, do like if they have a surgery later in life that could kind of break the dam open a little bit.

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But I do know I will not cry again in front of this woman. She may have had a really great weekend. Yeah, that shit is over. Yeah. Yeah.

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And it'll really affect your your next daughter when you have to drop her off. And you refused to show any emotion about it. She's like, oh, OK. I guess I was an accident.

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Yeah. Well she an accident you're allowed to reveal on this show. We'll bleep out and bleep out. Why you say no.

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But I, but I do think that I'm pretty set up for that one because while I was crying during the first one, I just kept I kept turning to my younger daughter and going, don't do to us what your sister did to us.

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You stay with us. You're the good one. Yeah.

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You are always my favorite and you will remain my favorite as long as you never leave us.

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I will teach you my bread recipe and you will cook for us forever until been there ever. And you have and you're only free once we die and we are thinking of getting in shape to extend your sentence.

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But now she's like an only an only child now at the house. Yeah. And probably zoom you doing zoom. I said oh gosh she is.

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This is a prison. It really is.

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It's no joke. Fifteen. It's like. I know.

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So whatever she wants to do she literally asked me before can you just drive me, my friend and I to the park. What.

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There's like fifteen year old when you're fifteen. The only reason you want to go to the park, you just want like you just want to go get high.

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Yeah, exactly. Right, yeah. And watch the skaters. That might be the right. Yeah. Whatever. I'm not asking any questions.

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Yeah. She deserves it. She's there.

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She's earned her time in the yard a little marijuana. I don't want marijuana.

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I don't want to know but can I ask any questions. I'll just drop you off by this drainpipe. You asked me to and I'll be back here in two hours. But yeah, I really do feel bad because I mean, now we got to start off.

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You don't even get to meet your teachers, right? Right. There's a whole new crop sophomore year. And just like it's just like a face on a screen.

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Yeah. Hopefully they'll get back soon. Again, we're, you know, being in show business, I you know, we have connections. So I think we will get that vaccine pretty quickly.

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Yeah, I just got to make a couple more calls with that Italian heritage with your kids when they were in the house. What did you guys do, like set family meals for for dinner?

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Was that a big I ask this because I grew up in a big family. Yeah. And when food was ready, everyone just kind of grabbed food and you ate it. Wasn't this sit at the table, look at each other, have this communal thing. Yeah. And it's not just Italian, but having that in your blood, I feel like that that gets passed down culturally is maybe one of the biggest things of that culture.

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The big food time together. Yeah, the biggest it's family is first.

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And you're told that over and over again your friends will let you down families first.

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Yeah, really. Like literally sounds like a one. And maybe finding yourself getting locked out came from all.

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Yeah.

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Non stop your family, family, family, family, family.

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And then they would show it by every Sunday going to grandma's house and a big table filled with people and Sunday gravy.

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Yeah well we thought sauce but yeah. And where did you grow up Tom. Wrong.

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Newark, New Jersey. New Jersey. Yeah. Yeah.

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Gravy's brown and goes on potatoes. We make beautiful tomato sauce. Oh you guys don't eat potato gravy. Pasta.

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Yeah it's yucky but we know but that was a huge, huge part and yeah.

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That's how you said I love you. That's how you just felt you belong. That's how you heard stories you said as a kid at that table and heard the adults talking and telling stories and who was funny. And it was the basis of all of it.

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And then my father, who was pretty quiet and stoic, we would connect through food like we would, yeah, eat things, you know, all this all the time.

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And to the point of like going to White Castle and eating like one hundred burgers just in his car off the dashboard.

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Yeah. It was just like, yeah, that's what we do together. Yeah.

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Well that happened been he didn't know how to go home and tell your mom he got fired. That's what that sounds right.

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It sounds like. Come on, get in the car. We're going to go. Yeah. Yeah.

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So if your mother is yelling at me, I'll be asleep of five food here.

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But no, that was huge. And then it definitely translated because I did it with with my kids their whole life.

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And even when we moved out west, Sunday is Family Day, I would just I would make that, you know, it wasn't like if they wanted to go do something that was important to them, we would I would let it slide, but I would make a big deal out of it just so they got the message. Yeah, yeah.

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Today is all right all the time.

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So you guys were you were raised Catholic? Yes. Well, yes, that is a huge part of being, you know, so everything is guilty of such a powerful weapon, so powerful.

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So you would yell. Yeah, yeah. Why you wouldn't use guilt. Oh, my God is so stupid.

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I don't. Yeah. Try and find. It's like, you know, you're born knowing jujitsu and then you're going to try and learn Krav Maga. It's like, no, you know, you just use just use it.

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It's in your artillery. Yeah. Let it fly.

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Even beyond the sun thing, though, all of our meals predominantly were at the table, so it was all four of us sitting at the table and you have it and being the other generation now you're able to look at them and see you can tell how well they're doing just from that meal.

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Yes. How squirrelly they are. You know, how expressive what you know, all that stuff. So, yeah, no, it was it was definitely baked into us for sure. And it's great.

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I mean, that's it's kind of like all you get, you know. I mean, it's like you have these vacations once in a while, but it's that little stuff like the idea that you would have these kids and be in your house and then not see them. And just everyone does their own thing all the time, so.

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Well, yeah. Why did we get into this. Yeah. Why why did we come back.

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Yeah. Why, why do we go into this business. Yeah. Do your kids cook with you know.

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Yeah. So they don't do the cooking which is where they are.

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Just at a resort. Yeah. Seriously. Now you have a bedroom up and they're like yeah they don't.

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But my little one became an incredible baker on her own. Oh cool. Oh yeah. She's like she just goes in and like will make cookies like from scratch.

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My wife was into that pastry end of it and my daughter would just go and just like whip up like these incredible oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.

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Like she just opened a bag of Oreos. Yeah. Like there's a mixer going, yeah. And within twenty minutes she's made biscuits and cookies and she's really good. That's really cool.

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The older one expressed some interest that she was when she went to college, she was going to bring some sort of starter with her and be like that was going to be her. She's going to make her mark by being able to bake bread.

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And not once did she come close to baking, getting that off me.

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Now, she even start the starter. Now, when I would call from the road if I was gone for like over a week, I'd be like, someone has to feed the starter because you've got to feed it flour and water and. Oh, you would think I just asked her to build a new freeway from here to Nevada.

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Oh, what do I got to do?

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You can take one scoop of flour and one tablespoon of butter and put it into that jar.

[00:28:35]

Oh, Dad, do you want me to go on stage for you tonight and tell jokes? What else can I do? That's your job.

[00:28:47]

Oh, my God. I love the family time sitting around and being at the table and sharing all that stuff, I think it's so important.

[00:29:07]

Did you do wine? Did you let the kids have some glasses of wine?

[00:29:10]

I'd love to do the answer's yes. Yeah, that you did allow it.

[00:29:14]

Yeah, but that's pretty new. That's like you're a cool dad. Yeah. Yeah. That's in the last year because I was starting to get a little concerned that my daughter hadn't really been drinking that much. Yeah.

[00:29:26]

And she's going to dad, you're a great dad. She's got a fucking tequila. She's got to show gin what's going to be forced on her to take you to take this.

[00:29:36]

Yeah, she's got to know there's going to be some Hanzi kid from Iowa in your dorm room, and she's going to be like, this is great.

[00:29:43]

Yeah, she's got to know. You need to know what's up.

[00:29:47]

We started opening it up a little bit. And I have to say the 15 year old is kind of riding the coattails of this education for the older one.

[00:29:57]

And we had champagne the other night and she had to and it was quick, like, yeah, boom, done. So she's putting them back.

[00:30:08]

Yeah, I'm like, oh, no, this is we got to go the opposite now. Yeah. No two are the same. Could be we're going to be pumping the brakes on this one for the next couple years.

[00:30:19]

I want the older daughter to check in and be like, what are you guys been doing.

[00:30:22]

She's like, I mean we pop champagne the other night. Now that you're finally here, we can live, we can really live and celebrate our lives together.

[00:30:31]

Yeah, it's not all about you anymore. Yeah.

[00:30:34]

Yeah, we're having champagne. I drink a bottle in under ten minutes. Dad drop me at we'd park.

[00:30:41]

Didn't even ask a question. He gave me a pre roll. He said he'd go for it.

[00:30:49]

He said it was grown in Sicily. Yeah. OK, yeah. He's Putin, he's Putin. CBD in the sun sauce. Now we're having the time of our lives relaxing. I haven't been in school in two years. I going to school anymore.

[00:31:04]

He doesn't care. Oh thank God it's not Zoome College. I know. Yeah.

[00:31:11]

They're going to go to some college where you pay, you still pay a college tuition and you're getting this online thing. It's like it's got to be a give and take financially.

[00:31:22]

It made me think because as we are getting closer to dropping her off, all these schools were changing their plan and going telling kids not to come and sending them home.

[00:31:31]

And I was like, that would be really cynical if they were like, let's bring them all. Look, this isn't going to work.

[00:31:37]

Yeah, but if we go up and unpack and put posters up, we can charge them room and board. Yeah, yeah. You know, how long should they get to be on campus until they've all signed up for a credit card and then send them back home.

[00:31:50]

Yeah, I really hope it works out there. She's in a good school where they seem pretty on top of it's not too big. So but she said like I talked to her last night and she goes, you know, it's cool.

[00:32:02]

We're used to the masks and everything, but it's hard meeting new people. You've got a mask on now.

[00:32:08]

There's all these new social things that we have to come up with. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crazy Gote. You did not see that coming. Yeah.

[00:32:15]

You need someone you meet someone in school and like, they're kind of nice and then you move to the next stage, which is you get to see their face. Yeah. Wait is she in a dorm room by herself or do they still pair people up. Paired up.

[00:32:26]

Roommate. Oh that becomes God you better lights.

[00:32:28]

Are you better like them because that's your family member. Yeah. Yeah. That's who you're going to you know, there's nowhere to go. Yeah. Every college keeps fucking it up. Of course it's ours like and you look and you go guys what are you doing.

[00:32:42]

And then you're like these kids are nineteen ninety. What.

[00:32:46]

Like at nineteen I wouldn't I fuck it up to a hundred percent and you feel invincible and you've been at home with your parents for six straight months. Yeah.

[00:32:55]

I almost went to that biker rally in Sturgis. I almost went to that. Yeah. Yeah. Come on.

[00:33:04]

Ready to go.

[00:33:06]

I really hope it works out because I don't want to have to like have come back and then have to cry again as she leaves.

[00:33:14]

You're going to be single, you know what I mean. Uh, invite me to her wedding. I want to see what it does to you.

[00:33:24]

It's funny you say that because I literally was thinking, well, OK, I just got to get through that one. Yeah, that'll be the next one. So I'm already gearing up for it.

[00:33:33]

Hopefully.

[00:33:33]

Twenty years from now, your wife is just in the other room. Yeah. And I can't wait for the wedding, but.

[00:33:40]

Oh yeah, you have it.

[00:33:44]

You have a handkerchief and that tuxedo you're going to need it you big baby. Yeah. I saw you in the heart.

[00:33:49]

I saw and you cried fifteen years ago.

[00:33:54]

Kept records. Oh my wife.

[00:33:57]

This is like you don't need me like you love. But I feel like you don't need you always kind of. And I think the crying is a sign that maybe you need her.

[00:34:07]

Oh, interesting. Yeah, yeah. I think that's I think that was the key. Yeah, I would agree.

[00:34:13]

Yeah. Well, let me the next time you cry, let's say it's when your next daughter goes to college and your wife comes in with that huge grin on her face, look up with all the tears and snot flowing from your nose.

[00:34:26]

Yeah.

[00:34:27]

And just say, I don't need you. And she'll never see that because it out's really stretch it out.

[00:34:42]

I don't need you. Yeah. That you hard.

[00:34:51]

Did you always want to kids. Was it like two is the right number. Yeah. Because three would have been insane and one was a little weird. We are on our honeymoon and we saw a kid playing Frisbee by himself on the beach and the wind kept throwing it.

[00:35:09]

Yeah. Running back. And the parents. Yeah the parents didn't even want him around like the parents wanted to have like a romantic drink at the bar or whatever. Yeah. So they sent him out there with it is like, oh that's sad.

[00:35:20]

You need to play with your best friend Frisbee.

[00:35:23]

Yeah I guess so.

[00:35:27]

I love you Frisbee. You're my best friend. Yeah. So yeah.

[00:35:32]

So we always felt like they should have a little teammate and. Yeah. And that worked out. It was good, it was nice for them to have each other and complain about us and you know they can group up too.

[00:35:44]

And it was two versus two. Your wife was always secretly on there.

[00:35:47]

Yeah well maybe the other way but yeah.

[00:35:52]

What are your daughter, when did your daughter's like figure out that you were a comedian or did you like tell like how do they see something of you on TV or.

[00:36:01]

Well I guess when I first slid my headshot under their door sign or not sign. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:36:12]

It was pretty early. Um what the big attraction was when I would do a show like do Leno or whatever and and there was somebody cool on the show like. Yeah.

[00:36:24]

When they got to see Lindsay Lohan. Oh yeah. I meet her backstage like that. That's huge. That was huge. Yeah. And then I was in.

[00:36:33]

Those are some benefits right there. Yeah. You, you don't forget that. No.

[00:36:36]

You get like a movie premiere kind of thing and it's like, you know, be there and all those kind of like perks.

[00:36:42]

But it was funny because then they showed a very healthy, I think, disregard for what I did.

[00:36:48]

They were like, you know, your dad telling jokes is like when a kid sees like a political cartoon, you're like it's in the shape of a cartoon. But there's nothing funny in this.

[00:36:59]

Why isn't the the peanuts or I imagine being my dad, my dad tells jokes and another other kids, like all dads, tell jokes. Yeah. My dad figured out a way to make it pay for it.

[00:37:12]

Yeah. But I always felt like that was pretty good.

[00:37:15]

Like when they were little, my wife put me on, I think it was on Conan actually and and my kids just started dancing in front of the TV like I was up.

[00:37:24]

My set was playing, they just started dancing and my wife got irritated. I'm like, no, this is that is how it should go. They should not care. Yeah, they really shouldn't care.

[00:37:32]

So then it became about years of I'm going to do Conan this week. You guys want to come. Who's on the show.

[00:37:41]

Yeah. Yeah, I would come with you Dad. But who's going to be the star. Yeah, you're a bum. Oh my God. So if there was someone bigger on the bill then they would come along.

[00:37:53]

If not, I was driving myself.

[00:38:00]

Yeah, but I think you could tell that they did they did have a healthy regard for a sense of humor and not being a very serious house.

[00:38:11]

Yeah. Yeah.

[00:38:11]

Like when they would come back and be like they don't laugh over it. Debbie's house. Yeah.

[00:38:17]

It was like well yeah, it's probably have a lot of families role in it.

[00:38:21]

Yeah. We don't really take too much too seriously in the house. I think that was, that was good. And they also and I don't know if this is good or not, it probably is good.

[00:38:31]

They both have kind of in their head that they're not going to get like a job. Yeah. They're going to try and make something work on their own.

[00:38:39]

They like self employment. I think that's great dependence of like figuring out what they want to do and then going and, you know, they're shot at it, trying to do it. Yeah.

[00:38:49]

Yeah.

[00:38:50]

But I would love for one of my kids to go into, like, finance and work at Goldman Sachs and just sell their soul and just clock in and make the big bucks. I mean. Why not everything have to be spiritually fulfilling? You need that need to happen in the backyard. Yeah, this is going to take a crane to get back to a very narrow entrance. Yeah, this is how you get that steel. You open your own pizza place.

[00:39:15]

Yeah, this is where it starts.

[00:39:17]

Come on. Somebody just sell out. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's true, though.

[00:39:23]

I think I think being in a household that's not as serious and I think it's I personally look at it as because I my dad was very jokey and my grandparents were very Jokinen uncle. It's not like they were, you know, clowns or anything. I came from a big family where someone was funny.

[00:39:44]

Everybody was like laughing and really informed me. And it I think passing that off to children, even if that's not what they pursue in entertainment or anything, I think just going, hey, no matter what you do and no matter how successful you are, no matter how much of a failure you are in life ultimately is kind of horrible.

[00:40:08]

So if you can't look at it through this lens of laughing at the fact that whatever put us through this experience. Yeah, the only way this sounds so negative, but the only way to get them back is to laugh your way through it.

[00:40:24]

Yeah. Because whoever put us here, they know how hard this is. So if you laugh about it, it was like you didn't get me.

[00:40:32]

Yeah, well, I see you think that's so funny. Yeah.

[00:40:36]

I literally was thinking about that this weekend when I'm like sobbing on my way to drop her off at school.

[00:40:40]

I was like, no, remember, we're the people who laugh at everything. We laugh at everything.

[00:40:45]

And it was like, but sometimes it's just too overwhelming. It isn't funny.

[00:40:50]

Yeah, but then I had a funny moment when we were driving off campus and I and it really was coming down and I just and I was driving and my wife said, oh, that's so kind of crying.

[00:41:05]

And I said, I can't see, I can't drive.

[00:41:09]

You have to like, pull over. I'm like, it's too late. Oh my God.

[00:41:16]

If your wife for the rest of your lives together doesn't constantly go like this, she's not a real person if she doesn't use that against you. Oh, no. I was using that to be funny. That was like the conscious moment. Yeah. Yeah. I was pretending that we were going to crash. Oh God. I thought it was really totally I would never let you live that down, just like you're breaking down emotionally and it's fully justified.

[00:41:43]

But I wouldn't just rip you up. I can't see the road know and you can't even pop in and surprise your daughter.

[00:41:51]

You can't do that. Probably right now she's in a bubble.

[00:41:54]

I know it's a thing I think I could visit on the lawn and like, have you're allowed to, like, be on the lawn and have like a picnic 20 feet from each other?

[00:42:05]

Yeah, I don't know. I think it's too early. I can't just be like showing up at college freshmen.

[00:42:10]

They're like, I think you can come. Yeah.

[00:42:14]

Show her that you're affected me and ask her and also ask her to come back.

[00:42:21]

OK, so that was fun. Did you have a good time with you? Have fun with your buddy. A little. But you're so condescending to your little friends. All right. Was that nice? How do you like sleeping in a twin bed?

[00:42:33]

Let's go get them. We got a queen waiting on. Get in the car. This was cute.

[00:42:39]

Now you can say you've done it.

[00:42:41]

You went to church friends. I got to say thank you so much for for being on this this show. I'm doing this this episode. I was this the best one yet? We just voted. We've been sort of having a secret chat behind your back and everyone's been like, this guy is on fire. Awesome. And no one has said that.

[00:43:05]

No one said that at all. I don't want you. I don't want to get your hopes. Oh, I want you to live in a very stark, harsh reality. I just have to wait for my copy of Variety to come tomorrow and check the review.

[00:43:17]

I was getting the wrap it up twenty minutes ago. I didn't know how to do it, but yeah, I, I, I repeated your jokes multiple times to so many people.

[00:43:29]

I absolutely love it. One of my favorite comics to watch. And actually when someone's one of your favorite comics to watch, what you're really saying is you're upset with them because they're doing something that that angers you. Yes. Because you can't you it's like you figured out a formula.

[00:43:46]

And I want I want it and I want to know what it is and how to do it. But at the same time, I don't want to know because then I can't be the audience that sees it, you know what I mean? Totally.

[00:43:58]

The number of times I've. Had to say, yeah, I get it, Rory's spontaneous. So in the moment, it's awesome because I have memory issues. Thank you so much for being you.

[00:44:12]

So the best. Nice meeting you, too. Thank you. I don't want you guys to be friends, ok. OK, bye. Text me Ruthie. OK, bye. Yeah.

[00:44:27]

There it is, Tom, Papà, ladies and gentlemen, I told you he was a delight man, and if you like delight, you can keep up with Tom Papà on his Instagram page, on his Twitter page at Tom Papà.

[00:44:42]

And for those of you with Sirius XM. Tom is the co-host of a fantastic show with previous dad's guest, Fortune Fiester. It's called What a Joke with Pappan Fortune. And it airs weekdays on Channel ninety three.

[00:44:55]

And I'm just really excited that we had Tom Papà on Dad's the podcast because we could not have done a season without having somebody whose name is actually papa, who sort of has Dad in the name, has done the name.

[00:45:08]

It's a no brainer. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You're exactly right. Yeah. Thank you very much.

[00:45:12]

And if you liked hearing him talk baking and of course you did. Tom also has a podcast about food, drink and enjoying life. It's called Breaking Bread with Tom Papa Dads. The podcast is produced by Gene Samples. Nick Liaw and me, Ruthie Wyatt are executive producers, are Joanna Solotaroff, Adam SAC's and Jeff Ross, engineering by Will Beckton and Anya Jasiek. Our theme song is by Strange Hotels with additional music by John Danek. Special thanks to Sean Doherty.

[00:45:41]

And just a reminder for all you dad heads out there, you can always keep up with Dad's the podcast on Instagram. Just follow at Team Coco podcast.

[00:45:52]

And if you love this episode, go ahead and subscribe. Give us a review on Apple podcast and just tell some friends till like two hundred friends, you know what I mean? We're in quarantine. We've got the time and we will see you guys all here next week. This has been a cocoa production.