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[00:00:01]

Dear diary, I've been going out with boys since midday yesterday. My mom is such a bitch. I'm not dumping either of them. I'm going to keep them both hanging on. Cassie Smith is the most unpopular girl in school sex bitch.

[00:00:18]

God, why am I such a bitch? Hi, guys. It's Hannah Fariha here. Welcome back to episode two of my podcast. Dear Diary. Your effort. If this is the first time that you're joining us, this podcast is basically me opening up the fucked up pages of my diary as a teenage girl while we're starting as a teenage girl. But, you know, I'm thirty three and still pretty fucked up. So we got a few years ahead of us and I am joined by my very good friend, Justin High.

[00:00:51]

I thought when you said teenage girl and I was like, yes, I put my hand up.

[00:00:54]

Here I am. I don't think you're ever going to grow out of that forever. Teenage girl. I still write in a diary. No, not really.

[00:01:03]

Oh, like episode three getting into Justin's diary. Ajin.

[00:01:10]

I wouldn't dare, darling. Oh, my God. Could you imagine the pages that would just be full of, like, shady things about celebrities? Oh, well, mine are just shady things about my friends and the guys I'm trying to dump. So there you go.

[00:01:24]

If you guys also want to follow us on Sociales, it's Hannah's podcast on Instagram and Twitter. So I want you to join the conversation. And I am desperate to see beneath the pages of your fucked up diaries because I feel like I'm sharing with you guys. So it's only fair you share back.

[00:01:44]

And just to paint a picture here, guys, I can see Hannah's diary right now. It's like the pages that we're up to today.

[00:01:50]

I like scroller red ink handwriting and it's a very good text. I don't get sorry.

[00:01:57]

It's a beautiful yellow floral diary and I'm sure that other people have got theirs out there. So I kind of said, if you have some amazing stories in your diary, send them to us, D.M. them to us at Hannah's podcast on Instagram and Twitter.

[00:02:11]

And also we guarantee that we will judge you. But I probably also guarantee that your pages are not going to be as bad as mine if I was a proper little bit. Right.

[00:02:22]

So today we're going to we've already looked through a few pages of your diary from a very poignant time of your childhood when you were dating multiple people and, you know, being an all around cool gal at school.

[00:02:34]

Oh, honey, I only just stopped that when I became pregnant. I was like, yeah, I guess I have to dump my other three boyfriends. Yeah. Which one's going to be the best one that kisses you and hold your hand exactly through the whole movie. So what pages are we looking at today?

[00:02:50]

What have you got for us?

[00:02:51]

So today we're delving into a situation where I have now dumped Bo Pulpo, kind of his own fault for being a bad kisser.

[00:03:04]

I was going to say if anyone listened to the last episode, you will know that Bo was a bad case of a bad kisser and it was an interstate relationships and never go, never going to what was like Romeo and Juliet. It was just never going to work out. Exactly. Long distance relationships at thirteen, rarely two from one island to another.

[00:03:25]

It was like a summer romance minus the romance.

[00:03:28]

And you were already deep in love. And what was it, twenty four hours later or something like that?

[00:03:33]

I think eighteen. My exact words were, I think dating him since midday yesterday. One day of Ussery. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Going out with him. Yeah. Going out. We did. Yeah. Dating back then. So today we're.

[00:03:46]

So you're over Bo so I'm over Bo and I've also dumped Ben the third. Oh wow. Zeolite have been the third because I only saw him on the train so that was once again detrimental to our future.

[00:03:59]

Well that was never going to work out either. It's a little bit sliding doors moments. Well, especially if I've already dated two other Binz. You know, when you been the third, it's never going to work.

[00:04:08]

God, you wouldn't want to be Ben the fourth or Ben the fifth.

[00:04:11]

I think I'm about to like Ben the sixteenth, but now I'm like, no for Ben. So no, today we're touching on quite an interesting subject. So I started dating a new guy, Sam. Hmm. But one of my very good friends, Ashley. Liked him. Oh, no, you weren't dating the guy that someone else liked.

[00:04:37]

I know this is what I'm saying. I was like really quite a bitch.

[00:04:42]

And I say, OK, OK. Can I ask you this question? Were you dating him and did you continue to date him because she liked him?

[00:04:51]

No. Right. I as you are going to hear in this diary entry, I fell head over heels in love. This was like in my mind at the time, like a notebook. OK, right. OK, so paint a picture for us.

[00:05:05]

What time of the year is this. How old are you. Like, do you have like butterfly clips in your hair because we talk gosh, what would this be like.

[00:05:14]

The late 90s this was nineteen ninety nine.

[00:05:17]

Right. It was August. So basically the same time it is now.

[00:05:25]

We were so the first year of high school and in high school I think for girls is so difficult because it's bitchy, it's cliquey. We've got all those hormones. Absolutely. Also what happens as well in girls high schools, we you know, in Australia we have a lot of like only girls.

[00:05:45]

And I was going to say, did you go to an only girls? I went to an only go back home.

[00:05:49]

And I think what happens is like at each primary school, you have your queen bee. Yeah. And then you go to high school and there's like five queen bees because all the queen bees come from different primary.

[00:06:00]

Yeah. The high schools. Yes. So you've you always you sure. Like who am I supposed to listen to. And was Hannah Feria queen bee when she went to her high school.

[00:06:11]

No, I wasn't really I really wasn't I wasn't like a popular girl. You. No, I was kind of I grew up on this tiny island island. It was like very hippy. You know, I had I was called Birdseed Girl because all my sandwiches were made from multigrain bread.

[00:06:29]

So I know where kids are so cruel.

[00:06:33]

How had a fairy catches the fairy. Oh, my God. Sorry too, guys. Bad seed girl. Oh my God. That's what I'm going to call you every time I see. Oh man. I beat multigrain for dating your boyfriend honey saying suck shit just exactly. And yeah, I used to get teased a lot because I was like so healthy how to I can see in the dark because I ain't like carrot stick and they all had like tick tock Tuka times.

[00:07:02]

Do you remember those. Were they like a deep. Yes. Yeah. And like Nutella those dungarees and stuff like. Yeah.

[00:07:08]

Crisps and like chocolate bars and all that. And I was sitting, they were like carrot sticks. I wasn't allowed Roll-Up but other kids would have had them.

[00:07:18]

But you know what I used to do what I used to go to the bathroom and go through people's lunch box Gahanna good thief.

[00:07:26]

And steal their grades. And it was so mean the owner of the ferry, his daughter Michelle, had a ferry.

[00:07:37]

Justin, if I could, you know, I used to he had a really bad temper and I used to swap my 50 cent coin with her two dollar coin because I said that the 50 Cent was bigger. So it was worth more and she was not very bright, so. Oh, well, that's her fault then. Yeah, but he the father found out one day and like he would like he had such a bad temper he used to it was always so strange to me because he would punch the ferry windows.

[00:08:09]

Oh my God. Gretchen.

[00:08:11]

Yeah, yeah. But I'm like, it's your fairy. Why are you breaking me right mate. Yeah. It's like getting married for your own life. You didn't teach your daughter about going and you're like you're like a fairy. Like, look at my big shiny fifty cent pace that silver. It's definitely worth more than your tiny little two dollar gold coin. Exactly.

[00:08:33]

And then I bet you took it in you like succah. I was. It was horrible. Right. We digress. Sorry. Sorry. Well, yeah. Where you go.

[00:08:42]

Way back. Way back when.

[00:08:44]

So this particular diary entry is about my new boyfriend, Sam Sam, who my friend Ashley fancied right now. These days, there is no way I would go out with a guy that one of my girlfriends liked. Why Jess would not happen.

[00:09:03]

Could you imagine the social circles trying to introduce him to your friend and being like, I know that she likes him? This is not good because any single look that she would give him, you'd be like, what was that?

[00:09:13]

Yeah, well, but also in my thirteen year old defence.

[00:09:18]

OK, yeah. Explain this. Here we go. People listen to this.

[00:09:21]

They were they were very like their families were friends and they did try and say that they were just friends. Right. And they liked each other as friends. I knew that they looked like that she liked him. Yeah, but I just chose to ignore it.

[00:09:37]

He was like gorgeous blonde, 13 year old Hannah. Did she have brown hair? Yes. She was like plain boring vanilla pants.

[00:09:46]

She's she was actually really pretty. And I was quite ordinary.

[00:09:51]

You saw that photo. Oh, my God.

[00:09:53]

I guys briefly talk about this photo. I know exactly what you're going to say. Go.

[00:10:00]

I was legitimately sent a photo from someone the other day that I went to school with when they heard I was doing this podcast.

[00:10:08]

And I had been asked by Justin if I had slot's strands, which we would say that term is probably not something we would say these days because it was derogatory. But you got to understand, back in those days, the s word was thrown around quite a bit and slut strands were very tiny strands of hair that you would have, you know, like your bangs or your fringe.

[00:10:30]

And you have them probably often, like, twisted and down like the sides of your face, right?

[00:10:34]

Yes. Think think clueless. Yes. It was Alicia Silverstone. She had a movie Clueless.

[00:10:40]

Those things that like little curtains in curtains that hang and frame your face.

[00:10:45]

And so I asked you, did you have them? Yes.

[00:10:48]

And and I did like that. Think so. You know, I don't think so. And then this person send you this photo and bang. There they are. There they are. So go to our Instagram and Twitter had his podcast and I will post this photo for the whole world to say to humiliate myself for your ends and say that you are welcome.

[00:11:09]

Right. So you're claiming that you were an average looking girl, which I disagree with.

[00:11:14]

But your friend Ashley. Yes. So she liked Sam.

[00:11:18]

She likes from here. OK, so I'm going to read you today's extract. August, it was the sun. The weather was good.

[00:11:29]

And also to let's not forget, in the beginning of your diary, you had like an explanation of what the weather meant and what good was good it was.

[00:11:38]

Oh, look, no, there was no good. Oh, hot. Really, really hot. Rhinehart, raining, raining, miserable. And then I like you've mucked up your own weather ratings there, but do continue.

[00:11:48]

Well, that's really not a surprise there then. I'm not very organized. So it did.

[00:11:54]

How did you darling. No, I'm not even kidding. Oh, how are you?

[00:12:03]

I have info to tell you. OK, Kassie's party. So Cassie was like the popular girl. Oh, yeah. And another friend of ours, Andre was kind of the more nerdy gymnast type. So, OK, Kassie's party was absolutely shit and Andre's was great, but I got a lot of enjoyment out of this fact.

[00:12:26]

Obviously, I'm way better than Kasey's, but don't tell anyone.

[00:12:33]

Saturday we went to the movies with Sam. I am not going to give out is like a big secret. Saturday we went to the movies with Sam I actually Carly Kimberlin and me in the middle of the movie. They all moved away, which was a lot better for me and oh, just to give you guys like time on your.

[00:12:52]

Uh huh.

[00:12:54]

I'm not sure if he really likes me. And I also feel very uncomfortable around Ashley since she has liked him for three years.

[00:13:02]

So maybe if you're thirteen at this point, that's what you did.

[00:13:06]

She was ten years old. I told you, they're family, friends.

[00:13:12]

She's liked it for three years. But there's no way I'm going to dump him because he's gorgeous, nice, sweet, cute, romantic, tall, and he's mine. Wow.

[00:13:23]

I think all of those other words are irrelevant, literally. Just the bit at the end is mine, mine, mine. He's a possession. And then sorry I just couldn't hold it in my car. What am I thinking here. So I'm asking my diary. How are you saying don't tell anyone I keep the secrets then apologized. I trust you. I trust you.

[00:13:43]

Friends in the movies we held hands and I leaned on his shoulder.

[00:13:52]

Oh, I got to go now.

[00:13:53]

But I've seen that photo of you with your little slut stands at the front. I'm getting such a mental image of you like like leaning on him.

[00:13:59]

And I know. Is there a base for that fake base? One point two, maybe. Maybe it seems like you're the only one who I can talk to about stuff like this, because I can't talk to Ashley because she likes him. And it seems I can't talk to Arion, who was another good friend of mine, because she's just acting. So we had better go and clean my room, talk soon.

[00:14:24]

Oh, wow. OK, now a lot of you left it on a taser. Then you're like Arian's just acting, so. We'd immediately had me going, what's up with Arianna? So but this is honestly, I think, one of my favorite parts of my diary. So the next one that was Sunday. This is Tuesday.

[00:14:46]

Oh. So I'm guessing a lot has changed. Light sun has changed, as we know with you. OK, dear diary, as they say, the more I wonder, the more I love. Oh my goodness.

[00:14:59]

Is that not. Where are you getting these quotes from 13 year old Hannah?

[00:15:05]

I have no idea. Oprah says, no, no, no. They say, you know, they say, you know, it's the people.

[00:15:16]

I guess I've just been wondering a bit too much about Sam, because I think I'm in love.

[00:15:22]

Oh, first love. I've been trying to convince myself that I'm not I've always wanted to be in love, and now I am. I'm just fucking scared. Oh, gosh.

[00:15:33]

You must have been going a million miles an hour from Sunday to Tuesday to Tuesday.

[00:15:39]

I've fallen head over heels in love, but like, it's so weird to me because I've experienced like that throughout my adulthood as well.

[00:15:50]

Like, you realize that you really like someone and you're scared.

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Yeah.

[00:15:55]

And it's like it has to be something innately in you. If it's happening to 13 year old Hannah and thirty three year old Hannah, it's got to be something you're born with.

[00:16:06]

No, nothing's changed in the last twenty years. Oh, my God. That's even more depressing. I think it's more like a flight or fight situation.

[00:16:15]

I think when you get to the age of something that you go, oh, my God, this is what I wanted, or this is like, this is that thing like love, you either go, I'm going to stay and I'm going to like, take it on board or I'm going to I'm going to, you know, go and fly away from it. And yeah, that feeling is like it really is. You standing on the precipice I think is the word you use and you're going to tackle it or leave.

[00:16:36]

And that's obviously what you were feeling at the age of 13.

[00:16:39]

It's just it's a bit young to be feeling that finitely, especially after, what, two days high three. So sorry. OK, three days. Imagine if you were Ashley. She's been in love with him for three years and she still hasn't had the chance.

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So I just talked to him on the phone for like two minutes.

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And I think he hates me. Oh, God. Why?

[00:17:05]

He said he had to get off the phone because his dad was chucking a cow.

[00:17:11]

Oh, my God. That's the most Australian thing you could have ever said.

[00:17:15]

I don't have a cow, man. Oh, God, Chuck.

[00:17:19]

Such a cow that Dad said you were going to say dad wanted to use the dial up Internet site was chucking a cow.

[00:17:28]

For any listeners who aren't aware, it's like having a hissy fit, being stroppy, having a tanty.

[00:17:35]

So and then I wrote, so he had to get off the phone because his dad was chucking a cow. Yeah. Bull shit out of the. So I'm going to ask Ashley to see if she can find him to ask him to phone me back.

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Oh, why?

[00:17:55]

I don't understand the theory behind that. I'm not phoning him. If I do that, I might appear desperate. But if she finds him so she's going to phone him and say it on your behalf.

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But I love the fact that I'm asking the girl who has the crush on you before you crush. I mean that. Could you have done anything nastier?

[00:18:16]

Oh, no, it is. That's that's not nice. But then I said he told me Ashley's secret, which means I can't trust him anymore, not even with my secrets, because he might tell Ashley. I also don't know if I trust him and Ashley because Ashley told me she's liked him for three years. And I'm not sure that Sam only wants her as a friend. I mean, they sleep at each other's houses and go to Pirate Bay together.

[00:18:45]

Really? I think that's a bit much.

[00:18:48]

What was Ashley's secret, do you remember? Why didn't I write that down? That's the best bit I know.

[00:18:55]

I mean, obviously, you didn't trust your diary enough to tell that. I mean, kind of says a lot about you. You're obviously quite a good friend because you and this and a diary entry at the very start as well, saying I'm on holidays. And Shelley told me a secret, but I did not tell you I shall not put your pages diary for fear of someone might read it.

[00:19:16]

And then I followed them with fuck, I'm the biggest bitch. I hate myself so much, I don't treat him right. No wonder he's going to dump me all these feelings inside me. You're confusing. Ashley just called and told me this story that his sister went into a video store and the shopkeeper flopped his penis so they had to call the police. Oh, my God.

[00:19:38]

Where was this place that you lived where like older men dumped on ferry windows and then others got their wing wings out? That's just frightening.

[00:19:46]

What a place to grow up. I know they'd go. Thank God I got out early, but then it's like I literally went. So they called the place.

[00:19:52]

Looks like I'm not the only one who has problems because, you know, being sexually assaulted in a video store is exactly the same as worrying where your boyfriend is going to call you that or trying to get Ashley to call him. So they will call you back.

[00:20:09]

Oh, and I finish it off with Gitari. I love this thing. Your heart often knows things before your mind does. Dear Diary, I'd better go before Mum gets home to find that I haven't even had a shower and she might chuck a cow.

[00:20:26]

I'm excuse me.

[00:20:27]

You with the profound sayings in these diary entry. What are you like.

[00:20:32]

Where are you getting these from or I wonder the more I love and I think I've wondered a lot that wow, that's very deep.

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Very deep. For 13 years old, I'm the more I'm reading this diary, the more concerned I'm getting and the more I understand how I ended up the way I am. I so I don't know if I've told you about I left school when I was so young.

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Did you. Yeah. Like you're seven. So I was like just not even fourteen yet.

[00:21:03]

Wow. And but I actually think with where I was growing up it was probably the best thing for me.

[00:21:10]

So what did you do after fourteen. Oh I went and became the toast girl at a cafe. Wait, so you didn't finish anything like Posti seven.

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No, I really have. Why.

[00:21:24]

So I started bunking school. Yeah. Which is like wacking. Oh yeah. And which is like skipping school.

[00:21:31]

He doesn't know wagging is which is. I'm not going, it's not like wagging your tail or anything like that. So you started skipping school in year seven. Yes. I like the age of 14. Yes. And so that's thirteen.

[00:21:41]

Thirteen to smoke bongs at the local river.

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Highly illegal back then. Oh it's still illegal bootleg. Hannah, this is not L.A. And basically my mom just got so sick of it and she was like, you either go or you don't go.

[00:21:59]

Don't show up once a week. And I called her bluff and I said, cool, then I won't go. And she goes, cool, then get a job. And I went, OK. And I went and got a job. Wow. And I was buttering and peanut butter and toast in the little cafe in the middle of the city on George Street. Wow. And I'd never been to the city before in my life to that cafe I'd like.

[00:22:17]

It's literally like streets from where we are right now. I absolutely want to go there and be like, did you know that she used to work here?

[00:22:24]

And it was so funny because my big dream at the time was to become the waitress because I was like, the waitress is so cool.

[00:22:32]

She gets a job. She gets no pay. She felt like she handles money I just handle. So I had very big dreams as a young girl.

[00:22:42]

Your your your life kind of escalated from there, didn't it? Yeah. Very quickly.

[00:22:49]

One minute you're talking about what boy dating. The next minute you're out working in the workforce. Yeah. Age 14. Exactly. And how every single day I used to finish work and go to McDonald's and get a small cheeseburger meal. Wow. Because my whole childhood I was allowed a small cheeseburger meal once a year on my birthday, once a year as my birthday lunch now. And so when I started earning money, I was like, just watch me eat all this stuff.

[00:23:17]

If that's what you do is amazing and you start earning your own money, you're like, I am going to buy that thing that I was never allowed to have. And you watch me.

[00:23:25]

Yeah, exactly. And for me it was a McDonald's cheeseburger. Wow.

[00:23:30]

Some and gosh, I feel like literally this is like such an uncovering of you that I went to you seven.

[00:23:37]

And obviously the diaries continue because you've got quite a few of them. Yes. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Obviously the boys continue because, you know, you've got a few.

[00:23:44]

And so I think I calmed down a little bit.

[00:23:50]

Do you think like do you think that that kind of obviously said before that relationship would not work in like when you were older, like you could never really date someone that you knew one of your girlfriends really know.

[00:24:01]

And I think as well, like as you get older, you kind of learn like because these were like relationships where you're like you held hands or you put your head on his shoulders.

[00:24:13]

And that was like the big things you did. Oh, my God. I feel like as an adult when you grow up. So just before we were doing this, when I was telling you a little bit about it, we talked about like Serena and Chuck and Blair and Gossip Girl and that whole love triangle. And then the situation like with friends. Remember Rachel? We liked Rachel, but Ross was still in love with her.

[00:24:42]

And I was sort of still had a little bit of a thing going. Yeah, where were they on a break then? I don't know. No, no, no, no. I think they were dun dun then dun dun. But there's that barcode. So Joey was like not just crushing on her. He was in love with her and he still didn't want to go there because of us.

[00:25:00]

Yeah. Ross, Ross, Ross. Yeah. And I feel like when you're a grown up, which I'm going to get there one day. Yeah. I'm like you're all right.

[00:25:12]

But it's almost like there's so much more complexities in relationships like sex and living together and potential kids marriage. So you do have those.

[00:25:25]

Little more dangers, yeah, yeah, because also, too, like you have to think. You have to think about the emotional side of it, so like my boyfriend and I have talked a lot about emotional cheating. Yeah.

[00:25:39]

So like, you know, I feel like texting someone, like, would you see it cheating if your boyfriend was, like, having quiet, not not sexual, but like intimate text messages with another woman talking about perhaps stuff that he doesn't talk to you about, would you find that like an element of cheating? Would that upset you?

[00:25:59]

I think with with Josh, I would, because Josh is quite introverted. Yeah.

[00:26:05]

So he's he's sharing. It's yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's not even just with me, but it will be like he has his friends at home that he grew up with yet that he speaks to. But he's not a big like with me if you like, leave me in a cafe. Ten minutes later you can come back and I'm like chatting to some friends about like, you know, the fact that I thought my water had broken the other day.

[00:26:28]

I feel like that happened when you and I had breakfast the other day, I came back and you were having some conversation with someone.

[00:26:33]

Oh, yeah. The people next to me. And I was like, what did I miss? Yeah, that's so that's me. Yeah. So the thing is like and I think with and that's sometimes a bit of a struggle in our relationship because I feel like I have I've got friends that I started like I went on dates with them at the start and then I'm like, oh, there's nothing there. But hey, we can hang out as friends.

[00:26:55]

Yeah. Yeah. And but it's weird to me because I think that it's OK for me to do it.

[00:27:02]

I go if if it was Josh, he doesn't work like that. Yeah.

[00:27:09]

You know, he you're very stable in your relationships. You know that if you are friends with, say, a guy that you stated, you're like, I'm definitely just friends with him. Yeah. But there's not even a chance of us being anything more romantic because you are a very verbal person and you talk a lot and you have conversations and you discuss how you feeling.

[00:27:27]

Whereas Josh, not so much not it is probably like a little bit of not a danger, but a potential different meaning of the relationship.

[00:27:35]

Yeah. Because to me, I'm like I think with him that if he's opening up to someone like that, there has to be some sort of connection there and a reason why. Yeah, yeah. Whereas with me, like I'll open up to the gumtree, you know, she'll, she'll open up to all the people in an empty room. Yeah. The funny thing. So Josh would never cheat. He's just you know how like and I'm not one of those girls that goes my boyfriend would never cheat.

[00:28:01]

Yeah. Like you just kind of know.

[00:28:04]

I know this type of man actually tried multiple times to like, get him for Jaquie passion, just not just one it of it.

[00:28:11]

And the other thing with him as well is if he cheated, I'd probably find that within about forty five minutes.

[00:28:18]

He's just the worst liar in the world and he is not sneaky at all.

[00:28:24]

You know why? It's because he's a good person. Yeah, that's why he's a nice. What does that say about me, good or bad. I could probably have an affair with his boss and he wouldn't find it. You're like I'm just this is not your baby. You are not the father. Thanks, Maury Povich. Yeah. No, he's not he's not sneaky. He can't he just there's a situation I'll tell you about it another time because I feel bad.

[00:28:53]

OK, but there's a situation right now and I like will go in like just press on his phone. Yeah. And I'll see a text message and I'm looking at the time. It's very innocent. I don't know. The one thing I've never done is I've never gone for a partner's phone. I just go if you need to do that for travelers. Yeah. And you're going to find something.

[00:29:15]

Absolutely. You are going to find something that will be misinterpreted. Yeah. You'll be like that means this. But it doesn't at all. Exactly.

[00:29:22]

Or it's like some person that your partner went to school with his messaging him on on Facebook. That's like totally innocent. And your head will start going at lately.

[00:29:32]

I just go and I but the good thing is with someone like Josh, I would literally just know straight away because he's just the worst liar ever will with my boyfriend.

[00:29:41]

And I have had quite lengthy discussions about open relationships and how we're against them. Yeah. And sometimes they just work for some people and they don't have those issues. Yeah, they don't. They have like pure honesty sometimes. It's not healthy honesty though. I like it. Yeah. It's like maybe just a little bit too honest but we're and we know and unfortunately for gay couples, it's quite a stereotype for, you know, gay couples to be in open relationships.

[00:30:07]

But the thing is, is it's actually probably the exception to the rule. Yeah.

[00:30:11]

For us personally, we're like, no, it's not for you. The way I love is crazy. Yeah. No, I think that's nice. Trust me, there is I would not.

[00:30:21]

I'm way too jealous. Yeah. And if those TV shows are anything to go by, it never works out in the TV shows either.

[00:30:26]

Guys, you know, it didn't like look what happened with friends. Look what happened with Gossip Girl. I mean the. I went round and around and around Chuck Bass like a hundred and eighty four times, I don't think it even resolved in the end.

[00:30:38]

I think they went they ended up in Paris at some stage. Who knows? I so confused watching that show. I was just like, oh, New York.

[00:30:46]

It's a bit like that, isn't it? Yes. I was like, oh, Louis Vuitton.

[00:30:51]

You know, I went on there because it go tour in New York City and they literally take you to like his, you know, a church in the back of the church was used as the high school entrance.

[00:31:01]

Yeah. I was like, oh, wow. It's like they just literally found places in random completely.

[00:31:07]

So you go to Dylan Dylan Lauryn's candy store, which they went to.

[00:31:13]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh God. Those were the days. I love it. New York City.

[00:31:17]

It's such a great city. So good. So what I'm asking this week, Justin.

[00:31:24]

I want people to come and tell us their stories from when they're younger about potentially maybe stealing, going out with She's the man stealer.

[00:31:36]

Yeah, this is a Manado. I was so confused as Nelly Furtado to be bright.

[00:31:46]

But I want to hear your stories. And I also want to please, please, please, I need you guys to send me photos of your diary. Absolutely. We want to see them.

[00:31:57]

We want to see the pages. Because the thing is with your diary is I am lucky enough to sit here and look at the pages with you and just tell so much more of a story. Like I just, you know, kind of like paint a picture for you guys.

[00:32:09]

Hannah literally has, like the weather at the top of the page. She's got her greeting to her diary. There's like a weather chart at the beginning of the diary.

[00:32:19]

They, like, picture all the stuff they signed. You got all that stuff.

[00:32:23]

And it literally just paints such a picture of who you were back when you were 13. And I'm sure people out there would be the same.

[00:32:30]

They would have diaries like I think I told you, I think mine was a thousand moons diary.

[00:32:34]

I'm pretty sure it would be very fitting. Yeah, but I don't know about you. You seem to be fairly consistent, but my handwriting changed all the time because it would they would be like a cool way to write to an essay or something.

[00:32:45]

No, mine's got that to have it because yeah, there was like cool ways to write things in, you know, you would do like circles above your eyes instead of dots. So you do. Yeah. You know, stuff like that. So my diary.

[00:32:57]

Oh my God. She's like, oh there's like bits cut out of your diary. What is that. No idea.

[00:33:02]

This is interesting guys. Oh yeah. What she's actually flipping through pages, looking at things, frowning, looking through them again, there's like parts missing. I know it's like, oh, what was that big page about James?

[00:33:17]

Oh, wait. OK.

[00:33:19]

Oh, my God. I've just flipped to a page right now. Apparently, I moved on from Sam. Oh, it's a diary. Sam Dale is oops.

[00:33:31]

Sorry. Said that out of a Sabadell is a like Lisa dickhead cheater wanker bastard fucking idiot shithead.

[00:33:42]

And I'm seriously going to kill him. Oh my God.

[00:33:48]

I'm so sorry, Sam.

[00:33:51]

I'm sure you're a very nice young man now. Wow.

[00:33:55]

OK, so something he did obviously upset you. Yes.

[00:33:58]

I think we definitely need to delve into that next week because I want to know maybe he got did he, like, start dating Ashley or something?

[00:34:05]

I don't think her by memory. I haven't actually got to that end of the diary because I was flicking from the head. Wow.

[00:34:14]

Thought all guys stay home. I think he cheated. No. And also to let's point out cheating would have been like holding someone else's hand or something like that. Yeah. Then, yeah.

[00:34:24]

Oh, my God. There's so much more to come. But like I was saying, if you do have your own diary and you've got pages and they just make you cringe, probably the cringe at the better place we want.

[00:34:35]

Like, I feel like I'm putting it out there. I'm embarrassing myself. If you want me to keep you anonymous, I 100 percent can.

[00:34:43]

But I need these cringeworthy. But yeah, unless you're sad then you're fucked. You're a dickhead boss to just say lying, cheating. I seriously going to kill you.

[00:34:55]

No I want to hear, I want to read and see your diary entries. So Instagram and Twitter are both Hannah's podcast. Go on demised.

[00:35:04]

I am two of them. Send them through. We want to read them. Yes, I'm at home pregnant and I need a very good chuckle. And then I want to come and discuss them with Justin and we can dissect your diaries as well as mine. And you can remain completely anonymous. We won't make fun of you that you know of.

[00:35:23]

Well, die. Hey, if I can make fun of myself, I'm allowed to make fun of you, too. Exactly.

[00:35:29]

OK, well, Justin, thank you so much for joining me.

[00:35:34]

I can't believe I feel like this podcast could go on forever because you said when you were moving, you found so many box of top box of diaries. And we had literally only up to this like the second entry in this first diary.

[00:35:46]

There's like so much I reckon we've got about eight entries so far that we've done. But, you know, they're on the same topic. Yes. Each talking about different Jachin and they all go for a period of about 24 to 36 hours.

[00:36:02]

Just so you guys know my relationship. I know. I know.

[00:36:06]

I realized that my that my daughter is going to be born on like within the week of May and Josh's second anniversary.

[00:36:17]

So I was like, that was celebration. I know.

[00:36:20]

And also, too, she's she's going to be like very close to Christmas, baby. Thanksgiving in the US. Yes. All of those things. I can't wait.

[00:36:29]

No. Well, so we start every single day with either Celine, Whitney or Tina in the shower, do you.

[00:36:36]

Yeah. Josh as well.

[00:36:38]

Oh, he does. On weekends. Oh, my God. I love him so much more now than he does by. Do you push it harder on the weekends. He does, but otherwise he's working in his office. OK, so he's such a professional job.

[00:36:54]

But he or like the bodyguard. Yeah. His wife falling into, you know, Tina Turner. It's amazing. So she is growing up already on the classic divas. Yes. Divas in the shower shave is in the shower going to be like, how do I get my daughter to be quiet, be to put on a bit of Tina, do the not sure exactly, but I've got the worst voice.

[00:37:18]

I just already feel so bad for her. But I started on Christmas carols this morning. Oh, OK. You're unitedly. Yes.

[00:37:26]

So and Josh was just so Josh is always trying to get me to calm down because I'm just having this mental image of you like going for opera and singing like Hark the Herald Angels.

[00:37:35]

Oh yeah.

[00:37:37]

Yeah. No, it's the other morning.

[00:37:40]

Can you like MASH two together and do Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas is you album because that's what we need to move on to that.

[00:37:47]

I did Emancipation of Mimi the other morning, so but nowadays I will leave you with the funniest story. The other day he woke up at four o'clock in the morning and I was downstairs making toast, eat everything at the moment and he legitimately goes, I was laying in bed and I heard you singing. And then I just heard this like you continued seeing he's like, is she downstairs making you food and farting and say, Oh, my God. So you literally just like, let one rip.

[00:38:20]

And then kept thinking, well, I'm sorry, when you're pregnant, you far you can't help.

[00:38:27]

But you literally woke your baby daddy up with a and singing and singing smell of toast.

[00:38:33]

Luckily our house is big enough. You can smell everything. What a lucky guy he is. He's such a he actually when it was a really kid just like la la la la la la la. Oh my God. I swear I got lucky I got pregnant. So he can't leave.

[00:38:51]

Yeah. You tricked him into having a baby with you, didn't you? I certainly did. Oh, I got a case on that lovely night. I'm going to go and feed my child. Thank you so much for the laugh, Justin. It was so much fun as always. We'll see you next time. See you next time. OK, guys, thanks so much for listening today. Please go online and get involved. You can follow us on inside.

[00:39:14]

And Twitter at Hannas podcast, please subscribe on Apple podcast, Spotify or wherever you get your podcast.