I'm Shinada Moore, and you are listening to everyone on the podcast, everyone on the podcast was created for one reason to get honest about parenthood, about the realities, the joys, the surprises and the fears, the moments that foremost and the ones we don't hear people talk enough about, which is why we are so proud to partner with water wives as our sponsor for this season as they share this mission with us and are such an essential brand for everyone.
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Together, we are committed to providing more reassurance for parents with trusted products and this podcast helping us to all take those important steps towards greater confidence while building a community of support for every mom. This week on everyone on the podcast, I have the joy of sitting down with the designer of timeless heirlooms, entrepreneur, feminist, ethical and sustainable fashion activist and most recently, new mom to baby shooby Sweatman. In this episode, you and I discuss her ambitions and passions both in business and at home as CEO and mama, kind and strong, gentle and fierce, we talk about feminism and how to achieve true career opportunity.
We must also campaign for parental equality, how her mission is to create a better world for her daughter, and how our greatest privilege of growing up in a home where you feel loved.
She is a woman who has achieved incredible success pursuing a life, career and talent she truly loves and here inspires us all not to choose A or B CEO or motherhood, but to choose what lights you up and to build a world that allows both parents to find this balance. Supai, thank you so much for joining me on the podcast. It is such a pleasure to see you this evening and your beautiful jewelry and your beautiful home, which I know I seem to know so well with the likes of the pink walls.
Look just as beautiful on Zoom as they do on Instagram. And I want to firstly congratulate you on just over one hundred days of baby. How are you doing?
I'm really well. Thank you so much for having me. I know it's a hundred days and 100 days where it's really funny, but Mum's doesn't feel like a label that fits all. And my husband teases me every now and then. He's like, Go, where's your mom? Mom? That's me I'm trying to get and being. And you almost like being being any person, letting any skill, taking on any career. And a new challenge is huge identity shifts or something that comes up all the time.
When I have these conversations, especially in those first few weeks and months where you really are learning this new part of who you are, especially if you've had you know, you've had many missions and and, you know, you're a businesswoman, you're an entrepreneur. Tell me how that fits into the identity. So my mom is amazing.
She's an incredible woman. My mom is one of the founding members of the Irish women's movement. And today, the 13 women who did this, the contraceptive train and all those crazy moments that brought us the right to own the right to keep our jobs after we get married, which only came in in the 70s. Right. Contraception, which came in in the 80s. So I was brought up by an incredible woman woman. So I really knew the power of a mom and that love and that relationship.
I was very wanted. So we had a complicated journey getting to her nearly four years. And so when she finally arrived at the world like a little tiny rochus nearly a month early, I just remember this overwhelming love. I never felt anything like it in my life. And I fortunately love my husband. But it was so instant and so overwhelming. It's been amazing. So getting to know her over the last hundred days and getting to know myself, I, I don't think I was one of those girls who dreamt about being a mom or being married or which is terrible.
But my I was saying that my mom, Rosita's treatment is one of the founding members of women's movements and she's just written a new book. It's about learning. Being a feminist. I think I was just very much before that. I knew I wanted. So I'm a CEO, I'm an entrepreneur, I am a mentor. And I very much I do my job. I get to make the most beautiful things mark the most precious moments for these amazing women.
Women buy their own diamonds or women buying diamonds for their wives or buying a big bowl of diamonds. And that's incredible in my identity is for a very long time being part of what I do. So it's been really interesting going, oh, what does that look like, becoming a mom and what does modern modern motherhood look like? Who are we? And can we both can we be the CEO and the mom? And why do we have to choose?
It's crazy that still in twenty twenty, that's still there's a dichotomy where people, you know, people say to my husband, are you so good for finding the baby?
I know you said, dad, he's just he's being a dad.
Is there ever a more annoying sentence? That could be weird. How does he feel when people say that? Does it diminish his role?
He thinks it's hysterical because we have since day one, I never said we're together. Bryan and I met we were 16 for 20 years together this year, which is a milestone to mark his arrival into the world.
My mom once said to us that we worked really well because we were really equal. So Brian has runs his own tech company and is also part of Tupi and has this huge career as well. And from day one, we always knew it was going to be about the two of us. So we do a really shared caring for her and I'm breastfeeding. So I'm doing that. But I'm recisions. And I have a little the interesting hands with the AgForce that he spent as much time with her and gives her as much love and care as much about her, you know, just things like because I think the stress and tights are going to work together and she cares passionately about the little things and is an amazing dad.
But I think it's extremely interesting that I do. So obviously, there's a huge battle for women, the proper maternity leave and getting to the stage where we are now. It's amazing that six months leave. But actually I have to be fought for four partners, leave my wife or husband.
But the other person in your life and I know in the majority cases it's the dads, the idea that somehow they're meant to to bond, to care, to be that with two weeks, that is. Regis think it's absolutely bonkers that we would ever be thinking that something like that two weeks is acceptable for a dad to be part of their baby's life and to support the mom and Brian in those early days. So I'd say I arrived like a little rocket a month early.
So it meant that I was I was pretty zonked. I wasn't very well at the end of my pregnancy and I was exhausted. And I had the most amazing midlife Ali Murphy, who basically got me. She said that she spent the postpartum spend your first week in bed, the second week near bed. So meaning as in like able to walk to about in a few minutes and the third week. Close to your bed, so not you're not leaving your house, and I really took that seriously for the first month of being my best friend and going, I just walked downstairs and she was what was camping.
And I think, like, I've just looked at sex for the first time in 10 days. So for the first 10 days, I just hung out in my bedroom upstairs and I cooked and cared and cleaned and made sure that I could be what I needed. Because in those first few days, she was so tiny, which was more than just taking care of her breast feeding her. And we have ever since that time spent all of our duties completely equally.
Do you think that that has been afforded to you because you are in control of your career?
No, I think it's been afforded to us because Brian's in control of his career, which I think is very interesting. So, um, obviously, maternity leave in a pandemic is a very interesting way to have a baby. As you know, it's a complicated time to get pregnant, but I would have been on leave anyway. But the huge advantage to us is that he was able because he's working from home, because we are in a company and we've got an incredibly supportive business partner who really was just amazing and was like, oh, mind you, baby, on our team where oh, my God, they're just incredible.
They're such an amazing family. And they gave us so we have about 40 people across our team and they gave us the opportunity to go and be parents together. And it meant that because Brian could control his destiny, because he wasn't expected back in an office ten days after having this tiny little person life, that he could choose how he wanted to be a dad and he wanted to be a doctor, fiscal hawks and to do everything. So it's a funny thing it wasn't I was in control of my destiny was definitely because he was able to control his.
I'm really optimistic and really filled with joy. And I think everyone I think it's kind of funny when you're pregnant, everyone tells you all the terrible things that could happen. I feel like fear for pretty much. No, I want to tell everyone for those five or five months, everyone tells you these terrible, terrible things. I think for me it is a real surprise. But yeah, it's tough. It's the most complicated, intense emotional thing I've ever done.
But, yes, it's amazing. You know, even the bad days and bad days and moments are OK. So much more feasible. Every threatens you with this. We are never going to sleep again. Yeah, but you get to have a tiny, amazing little person who looks and thinks you are the greatest thing in the world. Like her little smile when she looks at us, we were both just melts. And then like I was in work this morning and then I walked home from my studio and came into the house and Brian was out with a little face and she saw me just that smile of joy.
And then she smuggled into him because her emotion was so much she didn't know how to express it. That's amazing. I think I think we we scare people off for motherhood almost because it's I think in a funny way, because it's automatic as a woman, it's assumed that you're going to have babies. So know everyone assumes you're going to get married, have your babies on this clock and timetable. And so it's kind of OK to threaten you about it and go, well, I swear to God, I spent from some thirty six until about the age of twenty eight onwards, people going, oh, you know, you're thinking about having babies, when are you going to have them?
And I remember coming home to my mom, having lunch with her, going home. Someone asked me to take a journalist asked me, I said is twenty nine. Was I planning on having children. I'm just curious. My mom said to me she's like starting you're not a breeding cow. They're not like, ask that.
It's just that we still assume there's this huge assumption that motherhood is an automatic and that you have to go and do it. And so but then on the flipside, we tell people all the terrible things about how awful it is and how tough it is because it has been automatic and not not automatic motherhood for women.
We're expected to have four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten babies. That that was your function in life. So pretty bloody tough. And it was really hard. And it's like we carry an emotional trauma from our mothers and grandmothers of remembering what it was like to want to desperately be something else and to only realize. Where that hash of so many children, I was saying, my mom has just written her biography is backwards and she writes about my granny in it.
So my granny had nine children, but was actually and was very, very good family and would have loved to have gone. And she would love to have a brother was a doctor and she really wanted to go be a doctor, too. But it wasn't like it was the 1930s in Ireland. And she went up when she served in Belfast during during the emergency, as they call this. But she desperately wanted to go and do that full time.
But it wasn't an option. And so I think that's really interesting that we as a generation that have this huge choice where we get to choose what we want to do, but we carry some of the hangups from what our mothers and grandmothers and great comes from forced to do. It was your path.
And once you were on us, you were locked in us and that was it.
You left your job up until the 1970s. If you left your job, then you literally went and got married. And that was it was like, goodbye, you go enjoy being. Being that there are any any Lefferts at the home is God and my God, it's amazing how incredible if you choose the home as your as your home, that is the hardest job you will ever do. I have so much respect for women that this is my life and I want to do it with this idea that we should automatically force people to.
I think it's really funny, actually. I think it is a huge challenge in both things that we expect we may like. We're not quite sure, but women who choose to stay at home and we're equally not sure about women who choose to work. We're not happy, no matter which choice she makes, where she goes and what she does. Because as I got older, and especially I think in the last few years where I was deeply concerned and people said to me, oh, well, you're just choosing a career of your babies.
And I wanted to strangle them and say no, and we're going for IVF. It's not working so much. But the assumption that you can't have both, not in a way where you charge from home to crash to work and do that on every single day. But the idea that we can't have both aspects of our lives and other aspects of ourselves. Did you ever respond with that? Did you ever say directly back to somebody, we are going through IVF?
Yes. I was concerned that I was far more civilized, but it depended it would always depend how how inappropriate someone was being.
I think the truth is sometimes easier to say no, which is why because I. I think I think more women should just say the truth. Absolutely. First, firstly to normalize. Secondly, to educate those that shouldn't be asking and and to to evoke a response from the person who has initiated this conversation.
I actually took to saying I would try various things, but if I to to say absolutely none of your business, because I think it isn't. And I think it's also how many women are choosing not to not to have babies or to wait until their later and we don't say it. Then why do we pigeonhole that? How many of my friends who were when I was in our 30s, heading into our late 30s, have gone for interviews and taken off their wedding rings when they go for an interview because people assume you're going to have babies and then you're going to be a danger to the organization.
That's absolutely shocking. We don't we don't think the same way of men. Going back to the interview that you spoke about when it was asked of you when you were twenty nine was the context. Thus here I am talking to this entrepreneur boss. Are you planning on having children? Does your business won't work?
It was so I think I think as a female entrepreneur as well, it's always challenging.
I told the story a few times, but I remember going into the bank when I was twenty one and it just secured my first contract with Topshop, who is the biggest thing on the High Street. Back then they was working with Kate Moss, who is this insane? Time and work were amazing and I went into the bank to get a business credit card because this was so long ago when you wanted to order something over the phone. Arland had to a laser.
So they didn't have you didn't have a you couldn't use Lexia over the phone, so you couldn't use laser internationally. So I needed a credit card to go to buy and buy. Product is fascinated by fabric.
And I went into the bank and the business manager said to me he was he was like, well, you know, I think the best thing to do now is just go on. You start now, come back to me in a year or so. And in the meantime, you can use your boyfriend's credit card. My boyfriend, who at the time, Brian, who was in college, had a credit card for college. And we still it's actually really funny.
It made me laugh. I said I left the next day. I took my business away and moved it to a different bank back to that original bank. And usually it was because when we talk about women and women in business, the female entrepreneurs, we always talk about lifestyle. Oh, it's a lovely little business. Know she set it up for herself. And so the journalist asked me at twenty nine was I going to have babies, which the assumption that my company was very tiny.
Then from the three people on the team, we hadn't met anywhere near a meaningful turnover or anything less. And so it was an assumption that I was having a lovely lifestyle business that I would fit around my family. And that is an amazing thing. If you can employ yourself and work around your family such a go, you go for it. But I was sitting there and doing an interview where I was talking about internationalization and opening the stores around the world and my ambitions for it and to some need just to be told, isn't that lovely?
You basically got a nice little business. So what lessons are you bringing into your life right now to to not go down that track, to still be the CEO you, to still be the businesswoman, you, the ambitious you, the growth you and the nurturing, mothering, loving you?
Have you found any challenge when it comes to blending those two? No, because I think I am the same person and work and the same person at home, and I get to do the things I love and get to be part of the things I love. And I'm a better person for the fact that I love passionately what I do. And it brings me so much joy and it fills me up. We were talking about that earlier. And Joy, it brings me I remember my midwife Ali thing to me when after about three or four weeks, she was like, because we teach you, like, I think you need to go and do a little bit of work because it's funny, I was asking her afterwards how many people she said that to.
And she was like, I don't say it to a lot of people, but because for me, my job brings me such joy. And I think I find it easy to blend in between. I guess if I had to find a different job, if I was if I was off, I don't know, conquering conquering countries on behalf of the United States, I might feel slightly different. But the fact that I get to do what I love and that was a really fun decision to get to.
So starting to be I said I worked for top chefs. I worked in fast fashion making disposable dresses completely so different because one of the know dresses you were once and threw away and I loved it and then left it for three years and then I quarterlife crisis, which I thoroughly recommend. And I fell in love with it. And I realized that there's loads of things that should be in your 20s before it isn't one of them. You should be challenged and excited and driven.
And I knew that at twenty six, ten years ago. I actually I, I didn't want to be a fashion designer when I grew up. I always knew that I didn't have my heart. And so we didn't have twenty six. We just got engaged. We weren't married, you know, in our home. We didn't have babies and there was no no nothing, nothing that I needed to take care of. So I thought, OK, well I may as well go down and start again.
And so I took my whole life and Brian and I and we took it apart and restarted and built a life that really mattered with be like I it's just you should see the dreams I get on Instagram, the messages from people. You've got this incredible one from someone who has had just broken up with her husband. So she's gone and just had this unbelievably horrific time and had taken her wedding bands off and put them away and isn't going to doesn't want to wear them again, but is keeping them for her children and came into us and chose a new ring because she wanted to set her hand, felt naked because they'd been married for so long, had felt naked, wearing nothing.
But she wanted something that was to her and that she bought with her own money and celebrated this new start in her life. I get to do that. So for me, going to work is amazing. But it's amazing because I spent ten years building this. If I had it back then when I was in top shape and I loved my job, but it didn't make me didn't fill me up, I'd be a different person. So now and it's funny because I always knew I'd have babies older.
So my mom was thirty six when she had me and I was older, but by some people's standards. But I'm really glad that I got to figure out what makes me happy first.
I really believe in the synchronicity of timing. I really feel like things fall into place when they're supposed to happen. I officially went on maternity leave today, but I want to be at home with my newborn, I want desperately to have this baby to be. This to be a mother to a second child and all that comes with that love.
This also fills me up and as an employee as opposed to an entrepreneur. It was such a joy to be given the flexibility and the freedom and the trust to be able to continue what fills me up whilst also becoming the woman and the mother I want to be. And I look, I think if there is more examples of it out there. You know, I really struggled when I originally went on maternity leave on my first job because of that break of identity, you know, work with such a passion for me to have that taken away from me and expected now to just live within the walls of neuborne life.
That's that's a challenge for some women. And I think that we need to find a way in this world where you don't have to it's like six months completely off, but then you are fully back.
I agree. You know, that doesn't work.
There needs to be a really. Ambition will grow and energy will grow and great things will flourish when people are unable to find that balance.
And I think it's it's such a funny that comes to me that we want on and off so hard and fast that and that in a funny way that what's happened in the world over the last bit will hopefully help restore some balance. And obviously, it's been incredibly tough on everyone. It is incredibly tough on everyone. And no hard the hardest working moms with no childcare, with schools closed, it's been really, really brutal. But it would be in me and Lord, if you're going on maternity leave and having babies.
But there has to be a better version than just six months, Mum, and then fully back in. And the problem is because we expect women to go back, fully back and we don't and we expect them to go after six months and we expect men to go back after two weeks. It means that we been slow to bring it within the system because they don't because they can't get back to the exact time you laid back and crash is going to transition.
How do you how do you make that possible? And it's going to be really challenging over the next next few years.
But reimagining what that looks like, reimagining what our lives look like, what our needs look like, what we can do and what we want to do, and not not thinking that it has to be either career woman or stay at home mom.
What's the what just is life look like? And that's I think that's our next big challenge. Memo says that the huge challenge she feels that they failed on in the women's movement is that of the 13 of them, only to have babies, to have families. And so months for the rest of the year, their big fight was for working women so that to achieve equality in the workplace, to get women the right to the employee, to right the right to hold their jobs, that she says she always feels that they achieved equality until a certain point.
But she said she never wanted to achieve equality. That meant that both parents worked 60 hours a week and the babies were in crash. And it's not that she's up to that. It's just that she feels that wasn't that doesn't look like joy for anyone. No one is getting joy from that level of craziness. There's some really interesting stuff here. For days, weeks have been, you know, the idea of five days salary on a four day week and what you could look like to develop that.
And obviously, that's a dream. And right now, everyone is just like it's going to be really tough for the next few years. But if we could look at building a better future that enables that, how much how much better off we would be and how we would keep both men and women fulfilled, because it's really tough that we expect the dads to go back and just go to work and leave their babies and not leave their partners. And honestly, Brian has got to work.
Work a full day in the office a few weeks ago was gone from sort of half seven till six came home. What was that? The intensity of being with its tiny little baby. You just need so much. And not having someone to support is even just having someone for lunch and having someone to hang out with those little things. It's so important we have that.
And it is one of the crippling causes of postnatal depression and loneliness and overwhelmed when it's when the responsibility is firmly placed only on you for a 12 hour a day, five days a week. And there is no let up, there's no break. And especially right now where there is also no connections in place, centres in coffee shops in in know or post-natal Pilates or yoga classes there. The village are all locked up in their homes. But then it's not our challenge overall, the fact that our village is really depleted, not just with covid, but our connections and in a funny way, and I say this as someone who's completely addicted to Instagram.
I love it passionately. It's enabled me to grow to be a huge national brand because of Instagram, because we connect people all over the world through it.
But in a funny way, it's kind of soaking up some of our friendship time and our connection time. And, you know, instead of calling your friends, having to text, you know, maybe you're just on Instagram scrolling instead of taking the time out to really make a connection with a real person, with all these connections with people who we don't really know that well, who aren't really part of our lives. And it's funny because we're always really interested in that.
And that idea of the to people grow influencers when they're kind of connecting with all these people and kind of hating them and kind of having all these people as you are portraying perfect lives. It's such a negative piece. And I think social media is one of the most powerful things we have. We're so privileged to live in an era where we connect and fall in love and see beautiful things and beautiful experiences and, you know, help influence and shape our lives.
But that idea of of that real negativity piece of just getting I'm not actually making those real connections. And covid is really compromising us because we can't see them in real life. But we still have the phone. We still have WhatsApp. I mean, that says bring me on my phone. It's not what I use it for. I'm not for you. But because you do get a shock when your phone rings, you know, what is the phone call that I actually I make a lot phone calls.
I actually make a really conscious effort to get them to call people instead because I just missed the sign of my friends voices. You know, we walked off and we text and we send pictures, but we just heard to video call just to connect, see them and talk and to really try and ensure that we are we are taking care of ourselves and having that. You kind of go for Jaswinder, but having that emotional glassblowing, I think connection is sensory.
You know, to really be with somebody there is touch their smell, their size, their sound.
There is you know, even if it's a it's just a friendship. It's still an intimacy. It's we're next to each other. We're near each other. There's a physical connection.
And although I totally value the the extension of my village because of things like Instagram and because I can connect with people who might be strangers, but in that moment, going through something that I completely identify and relate with and therefore feel less alone. Yes. It's the balance, and I think that's what I'm missing right now, I'm missing those sensory connections with other people and it's the shallow and deep.
So you've got this amazing kind of shallow look. I have so many amazing friends that I've met through through Instagram, and it's it's so, so incredible. But they are, by and large, shallower connections because the people of the country seem to be able to see it and get to see as much. But the depth of those friendships, the people you can call at 2:00 in the morning knows these people. So we finally got married, which was just it was it was our anniversary a few weeks ago and it was six years ago we got married.
Our rules for our you can hear actually, Brian and I are allowing each other to this gorgeous thing where they move, she loses and he moves back and she would do it with me. She loves it just for him is absolutely gorgeous.
But when we were together, we said we couldn't call them two in the morning. Good news or bad news. We were going to invite them so we'd eighty four people on our guest list. And it just felt like the most powerful decision to be coming to the nonsense editor said like, oh, well, you know, so-and-so advised us to theirs and then maybe we didn't get. But we should go. And that's like a. a. x and Y, if you wouldn't call them at a.m. fly in and out for the most intimate, precious moments of your life.
And I think that's what I'm really missing at the moment is seeing. And it's been really amazing because you're still seeing I've seen the pieces in one high school such a time and saying trying not to their friends is not dead at the moment, but missing that connection of the people you'd go to in the morning.
How fabulous, though, to have over 80 people that you could call a good news or bad news.
And I know and actually it's really funny. We stuck to it. We really thought about it afterwards and thinking the right decision and where they the right people that they were. I remember standing at the top of the aisle with Brian by my side and just thinking if the world ended right now, it wouldn't matter because everyone I love is in this room. That was an amazing feeling.
Who did you call when you found out you were pregnant? And so I am very lucky.
I have two best friends and I told them so for both of them.
And they had their gorgeous little boys. They both sent me, I knew before one of their husbands because what if her husband was away for work and she couldn't get hold of them and she sent me a text at seven in the morning, are you awake? And I need categorically that she was pregnant. I just knew instantly the moment she sent me the message, I knew that was it. And I rang her and I and she told me and then the best she told me again, inappropriately early.
So I knew probably when they're both about three or four weeks pregnant. And so I always knew I'd tell them. And they were both amazing. They were. So there is quite a few hour journey and I support and love was incredible because they never gave up know, they really they really believed it was going to happen for us. And that was just to have that. And it wasn't even that because that sounds so fairytale like, oh, you know, if you just stop trying, he just hope if you just stop being stressed, it'll stop.
No, that's not how it works for some people. It takes loads and loads and loads of drugs and loads of amazing doctors and loads of medicine. And that's that's how it works. So it's different. But they always both believed that we would make our family. And I think that was incredible.
So I told them both and like, I maybe lasted two days Karakul and we knew really, really early because with IVF, you certainly know what day you should be. You do you do your transfer and all that. So I told them within within days, yeah. I couldn't last. And then one of my very, very dear friend and I went to tell him and I remember I told him at Christmas and we still a bit longer then I got really nervous.
But I told them, I told them because I thought that if I if something went wrong, they'd be the people I talk to for any reason. It wasn't OK. People I told. But I remember telling one of my other really dear friends. I remember telling him and I told him on Angel Street in Dublin. And as we were waiting to go into one of our favorite restaurants. Oh, you're standing outside the freezing cold in December last year and all the Christmas lights are kind of remember saying to him.
It's where we're going to have our we're going to have our baby. We're having our daughter and he was so sweet and I started crying and he started crying and I saw him holding me and saying, this is the best Christmas present you can give me as a gift. We've been very lucky. Our family and our friends are been amazing. You've such a close relationship with your mom. What did she say? Oh, mom was the best I have.
She wrote me a poem, actually, after I told her and I had it framed and I as well. So she just handbrakes it afterwards. And she has the most wonderful handwriting. And she said I went for dinner with her. Anyway, she's a little bit longer for her because I just needed to I guess I needed to digest it. And I think it's six weeks like super self-control. I wish it ages before mom. So six weeks.
And we went for dinner in Rothstein's and we were sitting there.
I just remember going taking her hands like I it worked where because I hadn't told her we were doing a cycle at that exact moment, because the problem with that is you do so many cycles for each loss and each failure. You have to tell everyone you love that it hasn't worked. And that's heartbreaking because it's not a loss to you, both of you. It's then you distribute it to the people you love. And so where's my two best is both new.
And I knew I knew that if I'd gotten past 48 hours, I'm not telling them they would. I wanted to tell them as soon as possible. And yeah, I remember telling them and it's lovely, the speeches. So it's the title. It's it's a blueberry. It is basically I remember telling her, you know, right now and she's the size of the baby. I didn't know she was a girl then. Maybe it's the size of a blueberry and the final lines I'm talking about, her family is very blonde in England.
And with the one lines I remember she is she's writing and says, I remember mom and dad.
I remember grandfather sitting in front of the fire. Derrick one family hope life so.
Beautiful. Yeah, and really lucky. Because of that relationship and because of everything that she has fought for and thought you and inspired you to be. And now you have a daughter. What are you passing on, what are you hoping that what what's your. What's your dream for how she will be able to grow up in a in a feminist world? It's really interesting because it's a funny, funny feeling about feminism at the moment, that it's almost as though we don't need it anymore.
You know, this is kind of like feminism is the last season we did. Thus we have equality for so equal. Is this what equality looks like? Because for me, it's certainly not good enough. And I remember finding it. We find out I was a girl and we were so thrilled to meet her because it felt so much more real when we knew she was a little person. But I also remember the fear. I remember thinking and it's not that so many challenges for boys and my amazing brother and husband, like all of these incredible men in my life.
But there's so many challenges for boys. But the challenges for girls are it was imagining her facing the things I'd gone through, the discrimination of, you know, being the ridiculousness of not being able to get credit cards, not being able to be pigeonholed. Isn't it nice? What if she wants a career that is in a very is in a male dominated field or that she's going to face all of these challenges that I did? And I was furious at the time, but thinking about her mom must've felt watching me take on the challenges that they fought so hard to get over.
I would love her. She's not going to grow up with any girls. She won't. That's the way it is. But hopefully she will grow up in a better world than I grew up in and that she will create a better world for her children. And that's the most you can hope for, is that we will build a world where there is more equality. And it's I think we progress for but we don't we can't go backwards to look at what's happening in the wider world.
Look at Trump. Look at Boris Johnson. My dad is English, my little sister. He lives in London. I have this huge connection to it and thinking just we thought progress was linear. We thought hatred would get less, racism would diminish, and that all of those terrible things, you can look at what's happening in our lives, absolutely terrifying. So I think such a duty to bring up our children to believe in equality, we have to be actively trying to build a better world.
And so that's what Brian and I both want for her. It's what Brian and I both want for is a better world. But we also want it to all of my girlfriends.
So I have six of my girlfriends, the boys all in a row, and all these wonderful, brilliant, amazing boys, one of whom is not one of the 19 and studying pediatric nursing in DC. And he started his own coffee business, Cafe Pekoe. And you just think he's such an amazing feminist. He's incredibly he really, truly believes in equality because his mum brought him up to believe that everyone is created equal. And so it's not just a battle for us.
It's for such as for us as women. It's for us as a world. Because actually, it's funny that as a feminist, I actually think the next battle for childcare is about paternal parental leave for your partner.
And then I think that's the heat we follow with each generation. We have to leave it better than we find us. Absolutely.
And we can't just leave us leave it as it was, because it's not even a question. If we don't do anything that will stay the same. What if we don't do anything and it gets worse? What if we look at Donald Trump not condemning white supremacists? But you could have even imagined that a few years ago. Boris Johnson, in a setting where you can hunt in England. So it's OK to go out hunting. You can't gather in any other social setting.
That privilege is we are very privileged as we are living in such a beautiful country and it is such a beautiful part of the world, but we owe it. So I'm an ambassador for Plan International National Amazing Organization for young women in the developing world and for focus are on them, for the dogs trust. And it's just looking at those things. And I know we have a duty. So we have structured our nation last year and so we have the TPI Foundation and it's a very tiny thing.
And we're doing we're just doing little bits with it. We're looking towards, for example, one of the things we're really interested in is doing one percent for the planet. So we're looking at one percent of the profits from the business towards projects, etc. the past and that contribution in a really meaningful way, because I feel like I have a duty as a mum to raise I the right way, but also as a CEO and an entrepreneur to to build a business that delivers better things for the world.
You're such an inspiration. I have to say, I guess I always think that mom gave us such a wonderful gift in that she gave us the ability to think we could be better and do better. And that, you know, that's that's a huge I was reading something really interesting. I read that one of the greatest you know, you can't we talk about privilege. One of the greatest privileges is being born into a family that loves you. And that that was something that I was so lucky to be gifted with.
And I think that's why I have it. I have a real duty to try and to build a better world.
Your journey, as you've said, had its challenges. She is here now.
You've had your first 100 days and there are going to be thousands more where you grow even closer as a family. Thank you so much for joining us on the podcast to share your experience. I've said it before. You're such an inspiration to me and I hope to everyone listening here today and tonight.
Thanks so much for having me.
Thank you all so much for listening. If you've enjoyed this episode, it really helps our show to grow. If you subscribe race or leave a review, share this episode across social and get in touch with this week's inspiring guest at Supai Sweatman on Instagram. Talk to you again next week. This series of kindly supported by water wipes, water wipes are an essential for everyone from the first nappy change to during those messy waiting months as creators of the world's poorest baby wipes.
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