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And I slid in the dams doing like the surfer guy, like sliding in the door, like that emoji.


Yes, I'm sure you do. Why you're single and you're joining.


Hi. Hi, welcome back to another episode of Girls. Gary, welcome back.


Cyber Monday, why are we recording After Dark to wait you out? Who is cybering today? Isambard? All weekend, everyone. Cyber sex was word cybersex like that. Roback throw half the people on his podcast. Have no idea. What is that? I don't get it. I don't understand what just meant like what would cyber attacks like just chat room sex. Yeah. And like you could I mean when could you start. But like you baby, you sound like a dirty picture.


Yeah. I just, I looks you'd meet somebody like a chat room and like yeah. Take it offline. It was like sexting before cell phones.


I did I cybersex sex 65 years ago. How do you remember the first days of the internet. Hey Boomers, wrap it up.


You say it's all right. Let's take some of our awesome partners. Big shout out to Helix Sleep, take their two minute sleep quiz and they'll match you to a mattress that will give you the best sleep of your life. Find your perfect mattress at Helix Sleep Dotcom hashtag and thanks to Function of Beauty for supporting girls, got to eat function. Beauty is haircare. That is formulated specifically for you. No matter your hair type, they create a shampoo, conditioner and treatment to fit your unique needs to a function of beauty dotcom syzygy to take your four part hair profile quiz and save twenty percent on your first haircare order.


Yes, and thanks to Rory for supporting Girl's got to eat. Go to Hello Rory Dotcom Sluggy to trial your personalized treatment for just five dollars and thanks to ritual for supporting girls got to eat. You deserve to know what's in your multivitamin. Ritual is offering you 10 percent off during your first three months visit ritual dotcoms Osugi to start your ritual today. All right, we have a few announcements. We're going to make them quick. Guys get actually set and you just drone on about the march forever.


You're like OK and what else can I say? OK, now let's talk about deadlines. You guys here, let's talk. I'll divide first guys, get tickets to our virtual holiday live show on December 13th. Oh, my gosh. Things are getting nailed down in terms of what to expect. We stacked a lineup. Yes. It's we're pretty much done playing at this point. We I'm not going to give anything away, actually. Doesn't even tell me what that so I mean, it's going to open strong.


So make sure you're in your seats ready for whenever you hit play. This is Virtual Holiday Live Show, December 13th. You guys can get tickets at Girl's got a podcast Dotcom. Just go to live shows. And we've decided that you will be able to watch the show up until a week after because we know it's a Sunday. It's a school night for some of you. And that might not be the night that you want to just, like, get lit and watch the show.


Maybe you are. Maybe you just don't feel like making a charcuterie board that day, whatever it is. So you can watch it the following week, up until end of day, Saturday, December 19th. So you have to buy the show in advance. So make sure you get your ticket and then you will have a code that you can use for up to a week after. So you can plan for that week. We still recommend you watch it live because you can be involved in the show as it's happening.


You can see is happening. There won't be any spoilers because, you know, we're going to post about it after the show and all that kind of thing. So we recommend it lot. Your guys are going to see the dress I picked on Instagram for like a surprise, but definitely recommend being surprised. But we have listeners all over the world, all different reasons. So we just want to be able to accommodate those of you for one full week.


So but get those tickets now. I'm at Girlguiding dot com also. You guys stormed the merch sale on Friday. We have never done so many orders. Were so thrilled. You guys are so excited. I just say to Ashley, orders from every corner of the Earth, which is so exciting for us that you guys want this job. So we're going to do a Cyber Monday sale. Ten percent off everything in store. What are the code B?


Oh, my God, I didn't think Ashley. Ashley is the code generator. I didn't think cyber sex Monday. Listen. All right. The code cybersex. I don't care if you put me on the spot. And that's what it is, Cyber Monday. Oh, I just don't know what that means. You can put two and two together. That goes for sixty nine percent of. I get it. I would never let that happen. Even make sixty nine percent.


Listen, just to remind you all about how to act. No, I'm still do apologize to rating all sales are final. Just double check your order. Size color. We always do our best to accommodate everything you guys need. If you have questions, we have a contact form on the shopping website. Just email it. Customer support. We'll get back to you don't dmoz because we're not going to see it probably. So just make sure that you're reaching out to customer support and then holiday deadlines.


So. For guaranteed delivery by Christmas in the United States, ordered by December 8th, if you want international shipping, which we ship everywhere Australia, Canada, the UK, all over Europe, everywhere in Asia. International shipping, December 6th is the deadline. Of course, things can happen with covid. We're in a covered world. It's an apparel business. We get a lot of stuff from all over. Things can, of course, be delayed.


So try to just order stuff as soon as humanly possible. Now we do everything that we can to use the code and get it like be like everybody was smart on Friday and use the code today. Cyber cybersex, 10 percent off everything. OK, what's first? Queen's Gambit. Oh, it has swept the nation. A couple of things. Yeah, go on. We both watched it in fall. This is a few guys if you live under a rock.


This is a show on Netflix. But it is the first time ever that I've ever watched a show in full at the same time. Yes. OK, this is a milestone. We're doing it for you guys. So Queen's Gambit show on Netflix. So incredible. Perfect show. I love it so much. I got to ask you. So seven episode, seven hours of chess. Do you know anything about you? No. But did I text every person I know?


Do you know how to play chess? And every person wrote me back. Are you watching the Queen's Gambit before anyone say yes, they know? My brother told me that he can play without the board. And I was like, what does that mean? And he was like, I just played my head. I was like, Fuck you, bro. Raina, your brother has been on notice for quite some time and he just keeps deepening. And the noticer.


OK, let me ask you a couple of things. I have another thing to ask you to. You're asking me to ping pong. OK, my first question for you is, do you think because let's be honest, we're going to start to get back into kind of probably a quarantine mode, what it felt like earlier this year? I hate to say it. It's going to happen and it's what should happen given the circumstances. Do you think chess is going to be like the new banana breakout hit?


Like our chess board is going to start going like toilet paper? Like are is everybody going to be are they puzzles? Are they banana bread? Is chess going to be the fourth quarter pandemic activity? It's the banana bread. I can't believe that every every online chess gaming board had to buy new servers to handle the traffic. OK, so I'm right. I just made that up. I'm just saying, like, I thought, oh, I'm sorry if you guys haven't seen Queen's Gambit.


By the way, are you living under a rock? It's a fictionalized story about this child prodigy based on a book you like. You guys love to email and tell us the things are based on books. I know that I'm thinking about things based on a book. I love you all. But yes, if I were a child prodigy, she's an orphan. She becomes the chess master of the world throughout the show. Yes. Second thing, do you think guys that know how to play chess are out here flexing?


Like, do you think they've updated their dating profiles? Do you think guys are out here like, hey, baby, I can play chess? Every man that I asked about this really flat, one man told me he plays almost every other day of your life, of your of your life, of your life. You play like one hundred and eighty days a year. No, no. Yes. I can see people updating their their profiles. I feel like this is the new flaks because I don't understand chess at all.


I barely understand checkers. Girl, it's funny because that's such an insult. Like you're more of a checkers kind of girl, you know what I mean. So like they said something, wasn't it? One thing in the show they said something about Texas and that was like that's more of a checkers kind of state, like they said that in the show.


So a couple of things. I never I don't know anything about chess before. It is seems to me a really complicated game. I've looked up some things. I've talked to some people and I understand a little bit more about like how you can move those pieces, because I was like, there's no rhyme or reason. What am I watching? That being said, you do not obviously need to know anything about chess to watch the show at all. And you will fully enjoy it and you will learn nothing about it.


You will learn. As much as I want to say a couple things about the show. I have one question before you give you a review. Do you think if we weren't in like a pandemic world, the whole world locked down and like, there's nothing to do, do you think a show about a little girl playing chess would have been as big of a deal as it has become? Because this show is like swept the nation? I mean it to me.


Yeah. Like, I just think it's an incredible show. Like, I think it's like comparable. I mean, during the pandemic, shows have just blown up more because we're just watching more TV. But I think outside of the pandemic, it would have done as well as any other super popular show. I think it's that good. The acting is phenomenal. Yeah. So, OK, I want to talk about it. I, I guess just talking about it will lead to maybe a spoiler here and there.


So if you haven't watched it, maybe you skip ahead just a few minutes. I'm not going to deep dive too hard. I just have a few things I want to say. So again, spoiler alerts maybe ahead. So skip ahead. Whatever I've I've said it.


I loved it so, so much on so many deep levels. It is an emotional ride. Like to me it's like this story about Chaske, the story about a really traumatized girl, a story about addiction, a story about a prodigy, like you said, like a genius, like a kind of like a madwoman at some points. But to me, I'm going to I'm going to cry I. Feel like it is the story about female friendship and like that the person that saved her was her original friend and the orphanage and I mean when the door opened and it was Jolie and I like, lost my mind, like I was like, oh, my God, because all those men tried to save her and they all tried to come into her life and rescue her from herself.


And it was like the only person that actually did it was this woman that showed up and was like, I'm here to help you. And then Beth was like, you're my guardian angel. And she was like, I'm not saving you. I'm your family. And like, when we had nobody, we had each other. And I just can't like the the finale of that show was one of the best hours of TV I've ever watched. I felt like it was the most heartwarming, beautiful display of, like love and friendship.


And this woman finally feeling supported while she's also winning the biggest matches of her life. And she is able to accomplish this thing that she couldn't before because she had alcohol and drugs involved. And I just, like the Russians, treat her with so much love and respect and like, you know, my favorite not my favorite scene, because, again, I think the female friendship there is like the most beautiful thing. And like her and Joline is like the best part of the show and the most pivotal thing of what it was, it really able to save her from herself.


But like that scene when all the men are like on the phone and they were all together, I like, lost it.


I was like, they love her. So they were just all together. And of course, I cried. Of course I cried.


I looked at the whole.


But then she when she found the photo and in Mr. Scheibel, like in the basement, like, I just I love the show. I loved every episode. I loved it all every single minute of the show. But the last episode was like, I haven't stopped thinking about it. I think it's beautiful. I loved that, you know, that I'm like a stickler for, like, things being realistic. Like I don't like anything that's like really overdramatise.


Yeah, I believed all the characters. I thought that it really felt like somebody whose parents had died slash abandoned them, somebody who had addiction problems, like it wasn't overdramatise. I believed those relationships. And I know that had it been a true story, they probably would have obviously focused on this more. But instead of expanding the whole show, talking about how she was the youngest female to do this female, female, female, they didn't talk about it as much I liked.


They made a show just about somebody succeeding and that her age was like a bigger deal instead of this seven part series, just harping on it, being a woman, a woman, a woman, it was a person, but they felt like they they actually did that interview like that. And that woman came in interview dream. I feel like that was like a common theme. So I love that you said that. Let me ask you this. This was this thing that having the edge of my seat, were you ever wondering if her adopted mother was, like, going to be a villain?


Like, was there a moment where you were like, oh, my gosh, she's going to take all our money and she's going to be like a bad guy and the adoptive mom? Yes, absolutely. I thought she was gonna do something like greedy and terrible, and I liked it that way. Again, it's more believable that the person kind of saw dollar signs but then got into like she wasn't she wasn't a great influence with the drinking and stuff.


But like, I think they had a real love and a real bond. I loved it. I love the way I thought. It was a very realistic depiction of how somebody would be to grow up with their parents. It felt like everybody abandoned them and everybody left them. And I just I thought that that actress was phenomenal. So good, perfect actress to play that part. I was floored. I hope it wins all the awards. And I want to just cosign something you've been saying for years in the podcast.


It's the first conversation you and I ever had. We were in Aruba together. We were in a car. I asked you, it shows you, like you said, watching her. It was the first thing we ever talked about in Aruba when we met three years ago, like exactly three, I finally got around to it. I watched the whole first season on Saturday and I thought it was fantastic. So if you guys are looking for something really fun and bendable, I'm Hilary Duff is in it.


It's a really, really great show about somebody who's 40. She's pretending to be twenty six and it's great. I loved it. I'm glad that you turned me on to it on Hulu. So yeah, you can watch on Hulu and I'm not going to review the show in full because I'm not good. This is because I wanted to and I get too long winded and maybe I will later point. I'm just all going to say I'm going to recommend it for now.


We've tried to record this and I guess I can't say I get so passionate about this. I'm just going to say I'm just going to recommend it and I'm going to leave it. If you love younger, I think you will love the bold type. So there's a show called The Bold Type. You can watch it on Hulu. It was on like free form or something. Listen, I will say wholeheartedly, it is one of my favorite shows I have ever watched ever.


That's all I'm going to say. I don't I'm not going to start reviewing it because I'll go. I'll go too long. I'll start talking about everything I love about it in the character development and all the topics they cover. I can't I can't stop it opens with them screaming, OK, I got to stop the ball type. You you don't have to watch younger.


No younger. But I just think they're similar. Like if that's the kind of shows you like. We talked about these shows because we hated Emily in Paris, by the way. So the bold type cannot recommend enough for fucking season. So you can go for a long time. You're long, younger episodes, very short episodes long, but multiples are closer to forty. So you have a little bit longer. Yeah, I mean these shows are like twenty minute episodes, Four Seasons, which is such a treat to find a show you love and there's so much of it to watch like.


So I'm caught up now, but I've been watching it now for like almost like a month or two. It is one of my favorite shows. I've ever seen I love it so much, I laugh, I cry, I get turned on like it covers so much and I got to stop no trying to go down this road. You guys will I get it's three girls. They work in a fashion magazine together and it is really good. And really they cover a lot of like have yourself a lot of like sex and dating.


And it's right on Brand for us.


Why am I doing this? I have to stop third time. We've cut this twice. Right. I love the music.


Who's your favorite character? I can't answer that, in short, I can't answer that. I'm just I. We can't do that because they've all developed over time. OK, OK. The main thing is watching these girls grow up. OK, I'm done. So I like Saturn. I love Saturn. But I feel like I watched Kat really grow up and find herself. But I love Gene to listen. I love them all. And also the editor of the magazine, Jaclyn Carlot, like, it's just it's a great show.


OK, so listen, guys, if you do not watch the younger the bold type Queen's Gambit, you have your work cut out for you. Don't waste your time. And Emily in Paris, if you haven't already, by the way, let me ask you this. Have I watched the crown? No, I have a Wikipedia page. I could learn about the British aristocracy. I watched the first season. I haven't watched the last. I don't watch the crowd.


I don't watch a lot of things that I'm embarrassed about but that I've never seen. So do you think there's two types of girls, Queen's Gambit and Emily Paris, do you think we can like? I'm sure a lot of people like Bo, there's probably some cross, you know, cross pollination case Kennedy from last week. He's not really a Paris girl. Listen, case Sunday night before his absence went live last week, had the audacity to post how much he loved Emily.


And I will tell you what, if we had a back up episode, we would have held it for another week. We had to cancel the. We wouldn't had you guys be able to see that Monday morning. I'm sure his Instagram got flooded and then people were like, oh damn, I still can't say enough bad things about renewed for season two.


Of course, it was high fidelity, was it? Don't get me started on High Fidelity to my oh, this guy that I had dinner with on last week, he liked it. He liked it. I love one guy he loved randomly brought it up. He was like, there's a show which Zoe Kravitz, it's so fantastic. I was like, you know, that wasn't renewed, was renewed for another season. Spread my legs wide open for that.


Just amazed. You know, I kind of had a crazy allergic reaction and had to go, OK, guys, Rayna, hold her accountable. She needs to get her blood pressure figured out and her allergy accountable. I had an allergic reaction that rivaled anything that's ever happened to my body. I couldn't believe it. I was having orange wine and like, natural wines, just like Mercè Chad. I'm sure some of you like it. It's not for me.


I Full-bodied just broke out like red rash is is the point of natural wine to be less reactive, like less of a haggis. I need those chemicals man. Those tannins. I don't know. I don't know how wine works. I only worked in restaurants my whole life. That was our first fight was about a wine. Oh yeah.


OK, so yeah. You got to go. You got to get yourself together. I do. OK, I worked himself checked out. OK, one thing I'll just I'll talk about. I went on a date not too long ago. I haven't talked about yet and probably now at this point like it was like a week ago or we can have a go or whatever, like super covid safe date. So literally coffee outside. And we actually sat kind of far apart from each other.


So like very like really wanted to like really be safe about it. So yeah, we just got sober day coffees outside and I just think it's funny how I met this guy. He did slide in the Times and he had dumped me once before, like earlier in he's from where I'm from. So he had dumped me about something about being in Delaware during the spring and I didn't ever see it. He slid in with a lasic recommendation. So I posted I asked for lasic recommendations.


I thought I was going to get this one place. But I'm not whatever it's long story, so I am still going to get Lasik. He slidin with his Lasik recommendation and he was not the only guy that hit on me. I'm talking a total of four guys used my Lasik slide to hit on me and ask me out. And I'm wondering, is it because guys are like looking for a blind bitch so she can't see my bullshit? Some guys like that bitch can't see another hit her up.


This is a new dating profile idea. I love this. It was weird. And maybe it was like the timing of, like, know what it is. I just think people like giving recommendations. I just don't think especially doctors like it is the best. You're right. It's the best opening because people are just like I live in the city, too. Here's this thing I know about. I want to flex my skills, my knowledge. I know a good doctor.


And it's even better than saying, like, you know, Goodbar. Who the fuck does know? Goodbar? You know what I'm asking? Do you guys know a good electrician? Yeah. You guys got a good plumber. Maybe there's some hot electrician slided. This other guy that has asked me out before in my DMS, he slid in there and then, like, wouldn't really let up. He was like, remember, I want to take you out.


I was like, OK, like I didn't forget. And then some other guy came in, like there was literally four dudes that were like trying to ask me out based off the Lasik recommendation side. And this guy, I like what he did because he was like told me his recommendation where he got Lasik whatever here and he lives here in the city. And then was like, also, I love to like, show off my 20/20 vision and grab a drink with you some time or whatever.


And it was great. And then this was really cool. He his Instagram profile is not a lot of photos of him. It's like just weird, funny stuff and like throwback. It's not a real like he's like a guy that's posting pictures of himself, which is fine. He uses it more for like fun movie clips and shit like that. And he was like also I just realized my Instagram profile doesn't really have much on it of me and set me like screenshots of his hinge.


And I was like, that's perfect. Like, that's a perfect way to be. Like, here's what I look like. I love it. We all want to know what people look like. And we hear this from our guy. Friends like a girl will kind of come in. She's private and they can't see her. And they're like, how am I supposed to like, let's just be honest that we want to see what someone looks like.


So I love that he sent his hinge profile page. He was ready to go. He was locked and loaded. I love but I love this tip. I think we let me tell these stories. You can get a tab. I love this idea of just like putting something that people looking at like an actionable thing. It's like, yeah, everyone's kind of Florence. We all know you've been to Florence. You've hung out with elephants in Thailand.


But don't do that. Some people not everybody is a good logistics guy. Yeah, somebody who. But I just like that he was like owned the fact that he didn't have a lot of photos and Instagram was like, I'm going to show my DNA profile. And we had I decent date. He looked like he looked better in person. I've been getting to I have great luck recently in terms of like not being cavefish and guys showing up looking exactly like they should or better.


Kind of a funny day because we were not drinking and it was just funny.


I'm proud of you. You really like committed to you're like really dating. I mean, I think proud of you, I. I think it's going to get weird, I think, you know, I want to be safe, obviously, and there's still an opportunity to go meet somebody like outside. So I'm trying I mean, as long as we can. I'm proud of you. And I think that it is going to get really cold, really miserable.


So, like, now is the time to lock somebody down. And it's amazing that they can't go anywhere for like a while, not going anywhere this winter. I'm OK. I want to tell you something that I committed to that I relapsed. And I just want to, like, be honest and hold myself accountable. I said that I was going to stop checking all of my exes and the people that they're dating and guys that I like, other ex-girlfriends.


I said I was gonna stop doing that because I was doing like a lot of my friends died like a ton and it was consuming a lot of time of my life. And I committed to stopping doing that. And that was great. And I have since relapsed and I like really leaned back in and I let myself do it for like five days. And I did. Yeah, for like five days a lot. I got really crazy with it.


I was just like on the fence all day, every day, like everybody that they're dating, new girlfriends, ex-girlfriends, everything. And then I woke up one morning last Friday and I made the commitment to stop doing it again. And I will say, like, I feel so much better. And this is like not a hot take, but I'm nine days into my be back on back on the wagon. And I just feel like it's not like I had to be like when you stop looking at people's profiles, you just don't think about them ever again.


They literally cease to exist in the world because otherwise they're living in your head, right, for 100 percent all day. You and I live in a lot of people, said Renfree. Love being there live to see it. But I just wanted to tell you guys and then I do. I just feel better. It's been nine days I've thought about any of these fucking people, except for right now. I feel great. OK, I'm going to ask you something on the podcast.


This is going to this is going to be real. This is a real friendship moment. You guys are hearing this.


Do you want me to hold you accountable with this? Because I don't care. I have no room to talk. I stock stock stock on my fence. I would never like shame me for that. I would never shame like unless I felt like it was really taking a toll on your mental health. And then I would have a serious conversation with you. But you did send me something from one of these people. And so I knew you were back doing it.


Yes. And I just indulged you and I humored you because I don't care. And I think that you're fine. Would you prefer that? I like you would like Raina? No. And here's why. Because I don't care Liddiard you know, and hear me out. First of all, I do feel like I am fine about all of the people that I'm talking about. Like, you know, the people I'm talking about, including that person.


Like I just feel like mentally great, especially like in the last few days. I just feel like whatever. I would only send you something in the extreme and that was like extreme and embarrassing. I just wanted to laugh at him. Yeah. No, look, I want to be like a safe place for you. Like, I don't want you to feel like I actually going to judge me because I don't give a fuck. You are. But you bring up something that I think is important, which is like there's nothing wrong with, like, your best friend.


I mean, I'm not trying to hear this from a fucking stranger or something. I sort of. But there is nothing wrong with your best friend saying you like I feel like you're spending a lot of, like, brain space on this. And I just feel like you would feel better if you stop. Right. And I think that there's like a nice way to say that. Like, I think that like, I've been guilty. Like, I you sent me something once a year and a half ago, and I, like, kind of made fun of you about it.


And I like to think about this every day when I can. I feel bad, but like to that's not the right root. But I like what you're saying, which is like there's nothing wrong with saying to your friend, like, I love you. I think this is unhealthy for you. And I just think you'd feel better if you stopped doing this. Yeah. And so I, I don't need that. I don't feel like I'm unhealthy.


But yeah. If I was or if you thought that I was, I wouldn't hate it because I had I had that thought. When you sent me this thing I was like, oh, she's back to work. She's back on our bilateral tricks. No, but I feel good. I had to send you back because it was an emergency. Yeah. Yeah. I loved your question. Thank you for asking. I had a lot of questions.


This this intro. Enjoyed it. OK, guys. Well, we have Julio coming on in a few, but we are just going to go through a couple of our partners for you. And we're so excited to tell you guys about these amazing partners that we have because we know a lot of you are trying to figure out what you might want as gifts for this holiday season are buying gifts for others, or you just want to treat yourself for surviving twenty, twenty, whatever it is.


I was thinking about myself, a little survival gift. I treated myself too much this weekend. Did I really? You were just you didn't spend enough time with me and I went hard. You work so hard. OK, so I am so excited to tell you guys about Helix. You know that I have a helix mattress. I have the moon light locks. I am so obsessed with it. The first time I slept on it, I slept till noon the next day.


I know I get a hold of me the best sleep in my life, so I really cannot recommend it enough. We are all one of a kind people and that's why we sleep on a helix mattress designed specifically for our body types and sleep preferences. And you can too. They have a sleep quiz. It's going to take you guys two minutes to complete and they will use the answers to match your body type and your sleep preference to the perfect mattress for you.


So really a. Everybody is so different with this kind of stuff, I personally like a really soft mattress, I don't really have back problems and I sleep on my back or on my side, and I do run a little bit hot. So all these things are what I think about when I'm picking out my perfect mattress. And again, they match me with my perfect mattress. But, you know, a lot of people like a firm mattress can't relate, but live your truth.


You sleep on your stomach, you sleep on your back, your side, whatever it is, or you don't run hot, they are going to match you with what what's going to work for your body. And they have a 10 year warranty. So you get to try out your mattress for one hundred nights risk free. And if you don't love your mattress, which you're going to love it, but just in case they will pick it up from you and give you a refund, super easy.


If a company tells you that you can try something for 100 nights and if you don't like it, they'll just pick it up like I'm going to trust in anything that's I to you anything for a fuck around and find out what he looks like. Sleep on and find out.


And the pillows are so incredible. We have the he looks pillows. And I will tell you, the downside is that they will spoil you. And if you go somewhere where you don't have the pillows, you stay with the family or you go to a hotel or whatever, you're going to miss. Those pillows actually will call. I will call for that demands. And, you know, it's really I've noticed it and it's like kind of like these pillows.


It's like ruined me for life. But when I'm in my own home, at least I'm getting the best sleep. They are next level pillow. And I don't even know they're all great. I've I have like all of them on my bed and I really switch it out because they're all incredible in their own special ways. So go check it out for yourself. Go to Helix Sleep Dotcom Sorgi take their two minutes slipways and they'll match you to a mattress that will give you the best sleep of your life.


And right now Helixes offered up to two hundred dollars off all mattress orders for our listeners at Helix Sleep Dotcom ciggie good sleep is more important than ever. Got to sleep till noon to get those pills. Do not blame me if you sleep till noon. I warned you. I feel like pillows are a really nice, unique gift. Like I like to go around people give it like it's the thing you sleep on every night. Also, people just have like really nasty pillows, like Pibor.


You have pillows are.


So you lay your head on them. Like even when I visit my family, I'm like, we got to upgrade all these pillows, take a pillow case off and find out every single one of my exes when we like starting a series. And he wanted me to sleep over at his place. I literally said, I'm not sleeping here on these pillows. They were so like they were so old. They were like yellow and brown, lumpy. They were gross.


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He is because of YouTube's podcast with another former guest of ours, Frances Allen. He has the best stories of all time. He's so sweet. And he like sneak attacks. You something absolutely insane. Please welcome to the house studio with us, Thandiwe Julio Galardi. Hey, thanks for having me. It's been a long time coming. We're so excited. No, this is great. This is an honor. Yeah, very dope. So your Frances's besty.


I'm getting in there like we are. Essentially. It's funny. I mean, as you guys maybe know, it's like interesting to be good friends with the person who you podcast with because you have to, like, decide what you want to talk about on the podcast for the first time. Do you guys do that? Well, yeah. I mean, it's really nice. I always say it's like nice for us that we're not old friends here and I've been friends for three years, but there are so many stories we don't know about each other.


Same with you guys. We are telling each other new stories, which is fine. So, for instance, I sat down and talked for like hours one day before you guys started the podcast. And he was like, I'm starting with this guy, Julio. He's just up. He said he's a beloved comedian. Like, he was so nice, but he loves them. And I was like, I don't know him like it was. And so I didn't know anything about being the judge of that.


And then I just feel like you guys have your friendship is developed on the podcast, which is the same as. So what I love the most is that he does not know your stories and you just like shock him all the time. He is. Here we go. And there we go. And then Chris laugh, who's your producer who also does stuff with us, actually affords me his laugh, his laugh of the video clips, because you guys do great clips of you guys are probably are you should be listening to groups or at least watching the clips on.


Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. We're pretty proud of it and it's been a good time. Yeah. Yeah. Well we want to hear a little bit more about you. If you want to give us like the once over I then I have a little story about you that I want to tell people who love. I mean, you got started in comedy. I'll cool your famous friends are all the things. I mean, I've been doing it in New York for so long, like, you know, over a decade.


And, you know, I started with all you know, we all that's how comedy works. As you guys know, you all start together and then you kind of see everybody take off and have great success. And like, you know, it's no different with me. Like, I've kind of seen all my friends find their different lanes and their different successes. And it's sort of funny, too, because, like, some people kind of get off to a head start and then other people catch up and then all of a sudden that guy is the guy who's ahead.


And it's a really odd thing. And it's one of those things where, like, it gets better and better as you go, because at first you're really fucking sucks because it's hard. And like, how do you make money? How do you figure out we do it? All your friends, you don't do comedy, do you? And you know, they're talking shit about you. Like, you start as the guy, the God, you so funny do that.


Everyone calls me Gigi. So funny. But then when I'm like my job is being funny, like, oh, you think you're funny. Oh OK. Mr. Funny Boy. Oh. Like what's your real job, you know, I mean all of a sudden they decide they're like they're not OK with this newfound confidence. We always say, I mean, everything is fucking stupid until like everything is brown sugar water. Until you invent Coca-Cola. Yeah.


Yes. Like like how do you become a thought? You have to post you have to post pictures oiled up to get that like. Yeah. Like that however. Yeah. Like how do you become a thought for your job. Oh I mean like you know you can't like you have to oil up your ass and post it and even if you're going to start only getting ten likes and all your friends are going to make fun of you and then one day you have two million and you and those same people will be like, oh, I knew her, bro.


I know this girl.


That's so it's so true. I want I serve the food blog. My family couldn't fucking stand it. I mean, we were brunch one day and my brother shoved his plate away and was like, how long are we going to have to do this for? And a year later, I took him on a free trip to the Ritz Carlton in New Orleans. You know, you just keep at it. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So I hope you gave him choice on the trip to made him share this spring.


Yeah. Oh, this fucking ringlet, dude, I made him share a room with me and his wife, so I shared one room. It's pretty great. OK, so.


Yeah, so. And you like who would you like come up with. Just like fish. I just want you to name drop at all. We're not going to get personal but like oh it's totally cool. I mean I'm trying to think of guys I like started out with Ricky Vélez, Mike Cannon, Pete Davidson. Ever heard of Chris DiStefano? Yeah. The audience knows these people. Yeah. And and even like the people who were the generation ahead of me, like Andrew Schultz, like that's a guy who was like the best guy to have in your bar show, you know, like Hannibal Burress was the best guy to have in your bar show that these people are all like huge stars and like I'm sure I'm leaving out plenty of those.


That's good. But half the guys have those guys we've had on the show or people don't know them in general. So I just I think it's so cool. Like, I actually do, like, start a career with these people. Totally. So it's really your family. You're in a good. A group of people for sure, all those people and, you know, we all ebb and flow and like some years I'm closer with some of them than I am other years.


And certainly some of them are like I'm always really, really close to and always say, like Ricky is like I always see Ricky and like I actually introduce him to his wife. I married them. Oh, that's like so, you know, it's nice. And then, you know, other friends, comedy, as you guys know, like it's one of those things where it doesn't take much to maintain the friendship because you have such similar experiences in lifestyles then like if somebody's in town or if like one of my boys who's like famous hits me up to open for him, if I haven't talked to him in a while, it's not, like, weird, you know.


I mean, it's like, yeah. Oh, dude, yes. Sweet like, thank you. You know, I mean, I don't know. It's it's a nice thing. It's cool.


It's a nice it's a nice family to be a part of for sure. Well when they got really famous and are like, hey man, you want to come up and up and you're like, yeah but they're single so you can't get pussy because of it. That's true. But I was single for so long. But you've got enough because I just I my most of my 20s were single or in tumultuous relationships that didn't last more than a month at a time like the back and forth thing where like every day I'm waking up being like, how do I keep this person interested in me, like that type of shit?


I didn't have like an adult relationship until I was in my 30s. So like I was single for plenty and like, I don't feel like I'm missing out. You did it. I love that, though. I would rather find a guy who's, like, done that, who's fucked up on Tuesday at a bar and just run around. I would I want to meet somebody that feels like I did it. You know, your girlfriend is great.


We love her. We know we're going to talk all about her today. But I love being with a guy that, like, has done all the things. Yeah, and we're. And how are your relationship today? We're going to hear how you guys got together, your long distance relationship. But I want to tell people a little story about how I knew it was real with you for our friendship and both comedy and your girlfriend. But I'm you were there.


So you know what happened to David and the three of us were at one of the worst events I've ever been to in my life last winter. And I was so uncomfortable. I hated it. I just felt like physically, just like I hated that. I just hated everybody there. I hated that. It was a comedy shows last birthday party. We're not going to say names. It was brutal. We've already made fun of it. We made fun of this guy one time right in the place of dragging him.


But it was not good. I can keep dragging. Started fighting the audience at his own birthday party that I was hosting. If you want to go, you want to go literally from the stage. It was unbelievable. It was the most entertaining. Let me just say that I had gotten laid the night before, so I was just chillin and I was like I was glowing. It was amazing. And I was just like, this is five.


And everybody was so aggro. And I was like, I don't know. But I just got laid like hours ago. I actually did it ghost out of the thing yesterday. I was like going to the story and I was like, you weren't there. Where did you go? I went to masturbate to my fantasy from the night before. Yeah, that natural sex keratin. Remember your hair just looking amazing. Yeah, she ditched us. I'm like, but we were we're at the worst amount of all time and I hated that.


I can't stress that enough. And then Ashley went home and me, you and Dylan Palladino, who's been on the show before to the three of us, got no cab. We went to the stand. We met up with your girlfriend. We met up with Remy Kazmir and her boyfriend, who I've been on the show as well. And it was just a really nice night where, like, I felt like these people are like my home, you know, like these people, like my family.


I felt like, you know, like we all have the same interests and hobbies. And I felt comfortable. And it was just leaving a situation where you feel so physically uncomfortable you don't like the people you're with. They don't feel like home and like go to a place. It feels like home with people that feel like home is so nice. And I was like I just like I knew that we were going to be friends, like, for for a long time after.


So you see, I had a great time to get you're right. Sometimes you have those nights and it's like, why would you do comedy? The hang is so important because some nights you have these like great nights with people who are in your field. I don't know you that well before you done my podcast, but like I was it was cool to hang and, you know, here we are.


But that's just so like when, you know, these aren't your people and then these are, you know what I mean? Like to go. That's like such a stark contrast of like being at this thing where people are terrible and then to go and just like, hang, you know, like down to earth people. Yeah, but let's talk about your relationship, right? Yeah. So how long have you guys been together? It's been two years.


Oh OK. And I joke with her like I'll be like baby we've almost been together for three years, like we just became two years.


And she said, no, I don't want to like he he's like but doesn't it feel like. Yeah, yeah. It feels like ten. Yeah. Literally we're excited to talk about this because you told me a story about how she playing hard to get is not the right word. She just like did her own thing and you fell in love with her. So we're going to unpack it. Yeah, totally. Let's do it. So first of all, I think it's important to know a couple of things.


First of all, we got in a fight on our first date like an argument which was so interesting. She was just like asking questions and I started to get defensive. I like it was your fault. Yeah, maybe. I mean, it was Wednesday, like we were drinking was weird. And then, like, at the end of the night I wanted to like and the night with the kiss and like you said. And so I kind of like imagine her standing here.


I leaned in to kiss her and she just like didn't move or kiss me back. She kind of she kind of got kissed. It was it was as if I was kissing a wax figure of my girlfriend by now girlfriend. And then leading up to it, I had thought that I had been really. Game on her, like I slid into the DMZ, even throughout the fight, you're like, I'm killing it. Yeah, yeah. Like throughout the whole time it was pretty late on a day.


Like, I remember arguing with this guy who about like that that he was trying to say that New York didn't have the best pizza, but like as in like the best piece they'd ever had was in like Fresno or some shit. And I was like I like went to the bathroom to call myself down anyway. Like, I was just like, I'm fighting on the other day. There is no I feel. How did you fight under Adams? That's how you met her?


I met her by in her dreams I had known of her and like this is so. All right. So the first time that I met her, my friend left his jacket at his friends girlfriend's apartment to go to go get it. And I knew this girl. So we're sitting and Hillary was her roommate. So she comes out of the bedroom and I don't know what came over me. I am not this guy at all. But she walks by and I go, You're hot.


I had the honor of you guys telling me this story together at dinner one night. We were really self-conscious after. We're like, do we just, like, talk about ourselves or do I like. Yeah, now here we are together. I asked. Yeah, I know. Hillary was like, fine, I'll tell you. And your hot thing was is very funny to me and I literally it anyway good for you. And then like go gosh she apparently went in the other room was like who the fuck is that.


And when I walked out of the apartment my friend was like, dude, that was sick and I didn't even look at him. I was like, oh no bro. I thought it was so sad and I don't know what the fuck came over me.


I thought I killed it was so embarrassing. So then there's this guy sitting back with a beer that you're hot in your know within your home. You walk out of your bedroom and Schrader's like you're hot. Honestly, I'd probably feel like if you want to come back here with me here, you have a condom. I know what is true. So yeah. So that happened. And then I thought I was so sick or whatever, but then like she had a boyfriend apparently whatever.


So I didn't get involved. But then I started like commenting on her roommate. Shippey only tell your roommate to call me like whatever. It's kind of like fucking around. I didn't even know that that got back to her. Apparently did whatever. Whatever. Fast forward I slide in the DMS and I find out she's single. My friend, that same friend sent me a story that she was and he's like, dude, who she is. And she I just got immediately triggered and I slid in the DMS doing like the surfer guy, like sliding in the door.


Like that emoji. Yes, I'm sure. You sure. Why you're single and you're trying.


OK, I say I have not seen the surfer. I like the, I like the it's like the slided and the guy's like it's the dog emoji. And he's like, oh, how'd he get loose? And it's like a pretty good meme of like somebody like the dog off the leash. And they're like, oops, sorry my dog got loose. Anyway, here I am. That's hilarious. I have not heard of a circus like that. I'm said Yeah did the surfer and I sat back, I was like, I was like, do you like this girl.


Not have it. I know it's so insane. So they're probably masturbating right now. I slide into the ends with the side into the emoji and she didn't know anything about me. But the kid who she knew who was my friend is like a New York City kid. And he had a bunch of kids, friends who are New York City kids who are younger than me and who are like a few of them are like rich kids. So she just, like, thought it was some rich kid.


So literally, I messager being like, what are you doing tomorrow? You want to go to the Natural History Museum with me? Like she didn't know that I was like a comedian that like I come from like a normal background. And so she just thought I was some rich kid who, like, had all the time in the world. She just replies, I have a job. And I was like, oh yeah. Like, then I don't know why I ask this.


The picture that my friend had sent me over was of her in the Hamptons and I was going to be in the Hamptons part. Yeah, it's the messager. What are you doing Labor Day weekend? Are you going to be in the HAMP's? I said the Hap's at this time. Do you still think you're running a game? I think I'm crushing it. And I think that's an important, important lesson. Like thinking you're killing is so important because like, if I didn't think I was killing, I would have, like, not had been confident.


Oh, yeah. Like that's like big energy and also white man confidence. It's it's funny because she also still at this point thinks, are you this rich kid? And then you said HAMP's. And she's like, fuck this guy. I'm just like burying myself deeper and deeper. So I get invited to her apartment party, not by her, obviously by the other person. I make sure to message her saying, I'm coming to your party. She gives it scene and she doesn't respond to that scene.


No response. And I was like, OK, that aroma sleeves play hard to get is like really bad. I said that before we even before we started recording, I was like she was like playing games. And you're like, no, she's like really felt like that. Yeah. She wasn't trying to play it, just like I beat her lot into that. She was just kind of like repulsed but you know, whatever. So she she's a nice person.


I think she was like the fact that I kept trying, she was like willing to entertain me at least. So I get to her party. She kind of sits on the couch and there's an open space on the couch. You she's kind of like this is essentially his chance to come sit down and talk to me and get to know me. So I sit down next to her and we start talking and immediately I start digging myself deeper in a fucking hole because she starts talking about Ariana Grande.


And I had just hung out with Ariana Grande. And so now I start namedropping and she was just like you. I was like, oh yeah. I just met everyone around it. I just show they're like, here's a picture of us together. Like I like, yes, it's so. And the pictures like, oh, she's like, thank you. Next I literally she's living. Thank you. Yeah. It's at this point like I'm just such a tool, like I'm, I'm really but I end up getting her number.


OK, and you do sound like a rich cat. You've hung out with Ariana Grande and you're in the HAMP's. Yeah. I mean, it's also the end of the day. Right. But since the guy from Staten Island, you know what I mean? Like, he wasn't exactly. Exactly. And she didn't I don't think she knew that connection. And I honestly wasn't even really chilling with Pete that much like I happened to be just you and I happened to be at a thing that he was out with her.


Yeah. And she happened to be we're at a dinner and she sat next to me at the dinner because they just set it up that way. I don't know, whatever. So anyway, so now I just seem like this tool. I get her. No, she leaves to go to some party. I'm like, I'm in a good spot. I text her, she doesn't respond. Now I start getting drunk. And I'm chilling with my friend and his girlfriend and his girlfriend's like younger.


So apparently I was like complaining about it. And she used what I think is like such a young girl word. When we reflected back on that night, she goes, You're being really conceited, I just say conceited is like the first big word a teenager learns, but I haven't said conceited or heard it since. It's so true. It's like the word for a young kid. Yes. So she doesn't know, like adults say arrogant, but OK, it's arrogant.


It's like, yeah, it's the wrong word. Wrong word. I hate to vocabulary shame, but I know it is the wrong word. It's the wrong word. Which maybe I think is what she was digging for. Totally. There's a lot more actually. Right. Totally. Yeah. Not even the right word at all. Yeah, exactly right. I don't know why I was so confident and thought that she should be so interested in me.


It was actually crazy now that I didn't think about it in retrospect, maybe delusional was a good word. Maybe just go. I'm not like some dick, you know. I mean, I just thought that I don't come across like that at all. Julia, when I met you, I was like, is you single? You're so cute. You know, I was like, that's very sweet.


Frances, start a podcast with a guy with a girlfriend.


Yeah. You're supposed to be out here for me. I help you. You help me. Frances, there's nobody for me. I was like, you're so wonderful. And I'm like any person you're asking our agent to hook me up.


That's hilarious. Frances has so many wonderful non comedy guy friends. I know he really does have a girlfriend. She has a great like conceded Harvard friends. I'm kidding. I'll teach them to use the word OK. But the next day I walked into Frances's apartment. I just texted Ashley. I was like, it's Julia singular. Anyway, OK, OK. So now we start texting though, and we have a good banter back and forth. It's like pretty good.


Whatever we're talking, all this interesting shit's happening like Ricky's child is being born. Like this is like a lot of interesting talking points. And I end up being like, let's go on a date Wednesday. And she goes, OK, so we go on this date and the date goes, OK. I forced the kiss and then I just like stay on her and I start pounding her with, like, persistence, but not with your penis. No, no, no.


Consensual guys. Yeah. All consensual figurative pounding. OK, OK. So when you kiss her she walks in her building and she's gone, OK. And I actually planned the date down the street from her apartment just in case it went really well, which her all guys take. Yeah they all do that. Well I don't even know if she knows I planned them near my apartment so I can leave sooner to be convenient. Yeah. I mean, yeah.


And guys have mostly like we live in the East Village, so when I'm married the guy he's like, hey, let's go out in the East Village because like a cool place to go, like if a guy was like, can you come up to the Upper West like absolutely not. Trever like you know, anyway. Right. So another thing then. So then we we end up paying out again that week and things started to change and turn in my favor.


I think we get to know each other little better. Things start going well and the second time we hang out is kind of impromptu. Like I was walking around downtown, I was like, hey, you want to meet up and go for drinks at this dive bar or whatever? And I sort of invite her to come over and I'm like, I'm an invite you over. I just want you to know that if you say no, it's OK.


Like, you don't need to feel pressure to come over, but like, I'd love for you to come and we'll do whatever you're comfortable with. She ended up declining. She's like, I'm comfortable not coming. But it was still good. Like things were progressing nice. Yeah. And then as things continued to progress, it was funny because my impulse is to be like this crazy like confessed my love to you right away thing. And like, when people let me do that, it just burns out, you know?


I mean, when people allow me to do that, it burns like there have been times where, like, I met a girl and then like I like she brought her to a comedy show and then in front of everybody, like the day I met her, I started calling her out, being like, you know, I just know that I really like her. Did like this crazy shit.


What do you like about Antec? But what do you think that is that I mean, I can diagnose you. You'd like me, but what do you think it is that like somebody it's interesting because like most guys would say, like, I don't like when women start doing that. But you're saying I don't like when they let me get like that. What do you like that? It's not that I don't like it, and it's not that I don't like it.


It's that somehow that like, where do you go from there? You have to build up too much, too fast, too much, too fast. Where is there to build romance on when I'm coming out of the gate doing the most romantic crazy and maybe some of it's like me wanting to like be do something so big and so grand because I think I need to for some reason, like, you know what I mean, whatever. But like, I'm crazy.


Like I have girls names tattooed on me, like I get tattoos of girls, like it's, you know. Yeah. To the point where my current girlfriend was like, do not get my name tattooed on you because I'm not like those other girls. So my tattoo of her is just she drew that, she just drew a heart and I just got it on me. So you seem to have one, I guess.


I think you just, you know, really like passionate, like big personality person. Like, you just live your life in, like, a big way. In a good way. Right? Yeah. And like, sure. Maybe I'm like a little spontaneous and like I think this is one of the reason why Francis and I are complement each other well, because Francis is like very grounded. He has a good like his home is so like immaculate.


And like, you go over there, he'll make you a special martinis out of his espresso machine. And like, I'm like not as much like that. I'd like to be. I strive to be. But it's not there yet for me. Yeah, I totally get it. Well, we are just going to take a very quick break to talk about some of our partners for this episode. And we will get right back with Julio. I am telling you guys about Rori, OK, so I am obsessed with skin care, I.


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As our relationship built, there were so many of these funny moments like this where, like I asked you to be my girlfriend, she started laughing at my face and her from. She she was like, this was really early and then she was chill. She's just chill, like and I was like, OK, I was, you know. Did she ever talk to you about, like, what that was?


I mean, I know, like all jokes aside, like her just sort of like playing hard to get whatever. Did she ever say to you? Like, I just don't warm up to people super quickly or I was purposely doing that. You guys were like, talk about that. Yeah, I think it's just her style. And I think that that's why things are so easy for us, because, I mean, knock on wood, you know, hopefully they continue to be.


But that that works for me, you know, in a way that I didn't realize what like she is deliberate and takes her time and like, she's not just going to, like, give me everything, show me everything about herself right away. You know, it took months to, like, find out certain things are like finding certain tendencies. And it just put me on her schedule, which like ended up working for me. She paced it.


She paced. I mean, which is, you know, a lot of times women, like tend to like just let the guy kind of pace it. And I like this reminds me of a relationship I was in where he liked me so much at the beginning. I was unsure about him for various reasons. And I acted like this, but not because I was playing games or playing hard to get. It was like genuinely I just was unsure.


And I remember this time he tried to, like, cuddle me in a cab and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, please back up. Like all these things, he would bring them up when we got serious of, like, jeez, you were so, like, such a bitch in a kidding way. But he was like, you really made me work for it. And it was like I wasn't trying. I just did it.


No. Yeah. It's just the natural way of being. It has nothing to do with her being like now I'm going to leave him on read like it was just her living her life. Yeah, I think I mean, I have suffered from this and I've worked on it. It's something I truly have to work on. Like I always feel like I'm too available. I let people get too comfortable too quickly. And I think that it's not sexy.


Some people will find it sexy. The right person will eventually find it sexy. But I do let people get a little too comfortable too quickly. And I realize that that's a flaw and it can kind of put you in the friendzone a little bit or it can make somebody lose interest. I think that people should live their life and be authentic to themselves. And I think if something feels good, you should do it. And I would never say there's like one size fits all for relationships, but I think at least what she did was that she paced it out and she was authentic to herself and that's good.


And she like, let the relationship build. And there's something great to be said about that. And I think that is a good point. The idea of like being authentic to yourself because you can get swept away in someone else's way. Yes. And that is dangerous because then you who are you? Right. You're not a thing anymore. You're just them. Yeah. Becoming that. We talked about that last week where we said, you know, you can only, like, keep that up for so long and pretend to be a certain way for so long.


And you're going to have to be you at some point. So it wouldn't be authentic to me to be like your girlfriend and probably like spend months sort of like keeping somebody at bay a little bit. But I would I envy being a little bit more like that. But she also, like you were persistent like we say this, too, like because I think about my ex when I was like that and had he just been like, she's not that into me after date one, we never would have dated.


It was him like still pursuing and kind of like we jokingly say wear you down, you know, like he just I was like, how do you like him now? I guess, you know, he isn't exactly who I thought he was at first. Same as you like. She kind of misread you at first, too.


And also, we like I allowed her to go at her own pace. Like I said, I love you to her like early and she wasn't ready. And I said that I was like, listen, I don't want you to feel bad. I was like, take your time. Like, it's cool, like whatever.


But like this how I feel like tomorrow or so. Like I said, I don't want to take two weeks or, you know, two days. But yeah, I mean, I think she's she's a lovely person. I really just don't really have any complaints. We don't we don't argue that often. So we want to talk about like you guys being apart, because what I love about your relationship is that you both seem very independent. You were not together throughout the quarantine.


You aren't spending the holidays together like, you know, you went on this crazy road trip. And I think you tell us I think you met up with our towards the end or whatever, but I love that you live your life in that way and not according to other people. Like I think sometimes people see couples that aren't together at a time when they think a couple should be together and they're like, oh, that must not be going well.


And it was fine. Like you guys were apart for, what, three, four months? Yeah, for like over two months. Yeah. I forget exactly how much, but it was a long time. But I was curious, you know, like when you told me that you were going on that trip. I was. Are you still together? You're like, oh, we're very much together. And so I think we don't talk a lot about long distance relationships.


But, you know, like, it would be interesting to see how you guys, like, keep it going and also just make those decisions that like if you're going to do this thing with your family for the holiday, I'm doing the same with mine. You don't have to be together every second. That's not the sign of a healthy relationship necessarily. Absolutely. I think we and she's like very grounded and reasonable when it comes to that kind of stuff, you know, I mean, like she understands, like, yeah, we both want to be with our families for the holidays, like it's OK to be apart, you know?


I mean, we don't live together. We probably I'm sure hopefully we will eventually. But like, you know, we don't for now. It's fine. And the road trip thing, like I have like a travel bug, I need to be traveling a lot and like, going on crazy trips like like one of the two week road trip by myself. I plan to continue to do shit like that. In fact, last week we got in a fight because I went to the Dominican Republic and forgot to tell her why.


I know that was my fault, you know, you got me, Julia, you told me the other they came up the conversation. No, I don't.


Yeah, I thought I told her she's like, I'm sorry, Rockhopper. You're like, oh, I'm in the Dominican. I told Brandon, actually. So this is what happened. I was complaining because my parents were giving me shit because, like they say, it's not safe in Dominican Republic, which is bullshit in my opinion. But like, if you're not on the resort, I was going to Santo Domingo to be in the city and like, go around by myself.


My parents were like nervous and like and I was like all Freshway. She's like, what's wrong? I was like, my parents are giving me she's like for what I was like about going to the Dominican Republic next week. She goes, You're going to the Dominican Republic next week. I was like, Yeah, I told you. She said, no, you didn't, because I said, I want to go to the Dominican Republic next week.


But I didn't say I booked a flight. I mean, yeah, she's completely right on that. But whatever, she knows that about me. And like, you know, she knows that these things are so important to me and that in no way affects how I feel about her in any way. In fact, quite the opposite. Like we want to be able to let each other do what we want to do in our lives. And like we're equal, like we talk about each other's work equally, like just because I feel like a lot of comedian relationships, they get all the attention.


And the other person who isn't the comedian, like the comedian, doesn't care about their life. It's kind of weird that it's not like that with us. Like I am very engaged in her life. I know all about her work. I try to like speak the language. And I think that like these things and that comfort also that comes along with that allows us to have a little bit of distance and to not like feel insecure about it. At least I don't.


And I think it's a recipe for a long lasting, healthy relationship like that, that just that alone of like you being like, I want to take this trip solo. So many people, not just women, would be like, oh, my God, something's wrong in the relationship. This isn't how it's supposed to be. Like we always need to kind of reframe our minds when it comes to this stuff. I love this idea and like what you said about like just being authentic to yourself and not prescribing to everybody's ideas of what like a healthy, quote unquote relationship.


Hasn't actually talked a few weeks on the podcast about she doesn't necessarily want to live with anybody ever. And we got so many messages, an onslaught of messages of women like thanking us or thanking, actually not thanking me because I'm not that like you to me always, but like thanking her for like being honest and saying, like, this is not my truth and this is not what I want. I think some people would listen to your story and be like they don't live together.


They travel alone. There's no way this is a healthy relationship, you know? And it's like but that is what it works for us. And we've been together for years and we love each other. You know, it's so like I have my location shared with her. I even realize it. And Francis, like, didn't believe he's like, dude, there's no way she doesn't check. There's no fucking way she knew where she actually asked her on the podcast.


I make sure my Poca are my location with her when I went on that road trip by myself. Just quick refresher for everyone who doesn't know this. I mean, I drove across the country by myself for two weeks. Yeah. So she was like, you know, she wanted to know where I was just in case. But like, it's not that kind of relationship. And because of that, like, it just allows because this is another really important thing, living in the city and being around so many people and meeting so many people like you need to allow room for each other to grow, because if you don't, it's just never going to work.


And like, I don't know.


Do you guys agree with that 100 percent like all of this? This is this is what it is like. And hopefully if one person doesn't stifle the other, you grow together. You know, people also grow in different directions and they break up. And that's fine to be scared of that. Yeah, but I mean, the right match. The right pair. That's the point. Yeah. And it's you're supposed to love that person's growth because some people get scared, so they think they see that growth in some way with their partner and they think like this person is going to do too much of this and and then leave me, you know what I mean?


And it's like they bite, right? What are you gonna do about it? And by thinking that way, you manifest it. Yes, you manifest it and you trust them. Then you get controlling. And, you know, it's just you become a shell of yourself. Yeah. You become the person like where were you? You like you know, you don't wanna be that person. Yeah. We talked about that a few weeks ago on the podcast, also about trying to control your partner.


And like the reality is, people are going to do what they want to do and they're going to lie to you. If they feel like if somebody wants to be duplicitous, they will find a way to do that. They want to cheat on you. And there's no amount of like going through somebody's phone and telling them, like you're not allowed to do that will stop them from doing it. So I love you guys, like allow each other to do that.


And I have a lot of guy friends that have girlfriends that we hang out. You and I went out for a drink recently by ourselves without Hillary. We talked about her the whole time, like it's not weird. And I think it's cool that it's cool with her and that she knows where you are and you're not going to stop somebody from cheating on you by yelling at them and control trying to control them. You know, and I'm difficult and like and there's a few reasons, like, you know, I was single for a really long time, you know?


I mean, like, I have some fucking baggage, some not baggage, but like some dirt. I mean, like I've dated people. I've done stuff and also like I stay friends with all my ex-girlfriends. And some of them are like big personalities and like difficult people. And like there's been a couple that I've had to, like, cut it with because they, like, violated my trust a little bit. You don't need to go there.


But for the most part, I very much care about my ex girlfriends. I talk to them, I text them like and we're friends and it's friends only like she understands and gets it. But like, I do not I don't cross the line. Hillary is the queen. I fully respect her if. He has a problem with something I'm more than happy to talk through. I'm not going to just, like, dismiss her, you know what I mean?


There's open communication. We talk about those guys and then I do that like, well, hang out with you. And like, you know, they have a girlfriend not do anything inappropriate, but they just kind of like don't talk about the girlfriend. They act as though they're single or be single. They just don't bring up, you know, that they have a girlfriend. They just don't bring it up. And I've never felt that way about you.


And definitely, like, I just we just talk about it. It's not a weird thing. Like, you use the word we a lot and like, that's a normal, healthy thing to me.


Yeah. And I also think, like a lot of people in entertainment, they're like afraid of, like catching this try and be able to bang whoever they want. But like being locked up in some relationship is the stupidest illusion ever, you know, I mean, well, the people kind of tie in the relationship and being locked down with this loss of freedom. So if your partner does it make you feel like you lost your freedom, then you're having the best of everything.


Absolutely. So, I mean, yeah, go off. Absolutely. I don't want to talk about being friends with exes. What the fuck? You're friends with all your exes besides one. Yeah. Do you see them like. Yeah, like if I go to L.A., I'll see. I'll call my ex girlfriend and meet up with her to find ex though, because actually now we say like you, you like the ex so like ok, ok.


How serious of an ex. OK, so there's like one, two, three, there's like four exes that I have that you know I'm from and there's no there's a fifth one who's like who I attempted to remain friends with and it became impossible. But everybody leading up to her, my high school girlfriend I'm still friends with, she's a baby like.


All right. Yeah, yeah. That's why I'm saying, like, to find the access. Then I had an accident data on and off for four or five years. We're still very good friends. We wish each other happy birthday. We'll say nice things to each other. And like we have these, like, unique memories and these unique experiences that are that are special to us. It doesn't mean that it's like inappropriate that I have this special friendship and bond with this person.


So and it's a bit of a brutal process because I have been in these situations in the past where I'm like, we're together, we're broken up again. And that's like part of the process of getting to the point where I fully close the door and I don't see that person like that ever again. And like, I feel very confident with that. And it's definitely a thing that maybe doesn't necessarily make sense. But I think that it like she I think she gets it now and like, it's not a big deal.


I'm not like calling them all the time and stuff, like I'll text, I'll see what's going on. I like checking on. Well, the thing is, you're honest about it. You're not. You know what I mean. It's like the fact you're talking about on a podcast is like I have nothing to hide. I really don't. You have a problem with her talking to her ex? Absolutely not. Does she talk to her exes? I don't I don't I'm not sure.


But I hold her in very high regard. Like, I don't know if he gave her to you. Not even that, you know, he knows. But like, he he dated her like they dated they loved each other. Like they were like they were important to each other. He took care of her. He cared about her. Like he protected her. Like, that's important to me. Like I hold him in very high regard. Like, I, I if I met him, like I would give the utmost respect and like I if he didn't want to talk to me, I would understand.


But like I actually tell her, I was like, I'd love to meet him. I think, you know, I love that. I mean, and I have an ex that I can't be friends with. But like, my dream is one day we'll be friends because, like, you really just you have, like you said, these memories with this person. And that's why I don't throw away photos. And I think it's weird. We've had this debate before and we can dive deeper at a different point.


When a current partner wants you to like a race, your memories, it's like these are my memories. Like, yeah, no, they're not framed photos everywhere, but like, I didn't delete them. Like, that was a part of my life. There was a lot of love there. Why would I just, like, burn our scrapbook, you know what I mean? Totally. I fully agree with that. I would not be willing to delete pictures and stuff.


Yeah. I'm not like jerking off to them, of course. Yeah. But yeah. So but that person was my home for, for quite some time. But I want to go back and just wrap up because you guys have like been apart for so long that you have any tips for people that I've been away from their acts or maybe I've been away from, I have been away from their significant other or doing long distance for like I don't know how to keep it spicy or exciting or stay in touch.


Do you have, like, good tips for that? So I and actually one of the tips I learned from Ashley, I think when you were on the tour. Yeah. When you're on our podcast remotely variability. Seventeen. Yeah. Yeah. Which I'll get to in a second. But I'm like my dad. My dad does this to my mom. I call my girlfriend all fucking day long.


We call her all day to play or she's like, yes. And I have like an update. I feel like a little boy that's like Mommy, Mommy, a hawk. There's a hawk in front of me. And she said, That's very nice, sweetie. Oh, my God. Because I was like doing a bunch of hiking at the beginning accordion. She she was still working. Yeah. So like, I'd be calling her phone or phone calling, but hearing somebody's voice.


So calling all the time, keeping up like of course that's important. But also we started to get to a point where we would go on a date like when we was two or three months in or however long like we start on Fridays, we'd like have a drink together. And that was your recommendation? Yeah. We'd sit and on Zoome call and drink wine and we'd talk and like I'd like try to look good and shit, you know, like, like get your shit together, look nice.


But I one on one day and the guy looked like he rolled out of a dumpster like I did. I'd like I did my. Oh, that is like I was like, oh, I was even doing my parents, my mom was like, are you going to make up on them? Of course. And I was like, he was wearing like he literally just rolled out of the gutter. I'm like, I am wearing an outfit. I because I had to relearn how to do my resume.


I would ring white out, like, what are you doing?


You look at the garbage like effort and like it's so brilliant what we can do with the zoom and whatnot, even though you can have dinner like the other night I was cooking dinner. I was on his room, called a bunch of friends. I sat and had dinner. I mean, I made it myself, but it wasn't rude. But I was like, I'm having dinner with my friends. Kind of somebody asked me the other day they were like, You still do Zoome.


I was like, I love it. Why not? Why? I don't do it every day. But like, I love to sit around and have a drink with my family who like I have seen my brother once in a year, you know, because of covid. So like, I love to have dinner with him and his wife over Zoome as much as I can. It's like FaceTime. OK, so you guys just like communicated a bunch.


Yeah. And one one other thing that I think is really important, and this pertains to that one as well. Just in general, I think it's really important to like not take the most important people in your life for granted. You know, you mean like I still like try to as much as possible treat her as if it's like the way I would have treated her early on, you know? I mean, because it's like important like it should be special.


It should be fun. Should be romantic. Like I'm planning what I'm going to get her for the holidays already like and when I go over there I like try to be clean and like I'm not gross and like, you know, I want to try to like maintain that like courting phase to keep everything interesting. And it really works. I think we always never, never stopped dating like Preben. So who wants to feel like your partner takes you for granted?


It doesn't get dressed and like doesn't give a shit where they throw their crap. It's like you really care so little about me. Did you ever see Christmas Eve like I did? I was like, I need the gift receipt for that because you bought me it for something I don't even need. And I was like, December 24th. Did you know stuff was going that day? Yeah. God, that's crazy. Oh, did he have to.


CBS I'm surprised he was like, I'll return it. You know, we like we talked about that and how to keep your relationship alive like two weeks ago on our show. Also, it's just you got to always remind your partner, like your dick still gets hard for them. Yes, absolutely. Julias like we call them 16 times that. Yeah. I also like I mean, you made the joke of, like, mommy, I saw a hawk, but like this I'm sure also you call her all the time and you tell me she probably still seems happy to hear from you the sixth time in a day.


Like because I think validating your partner is like so important to and like recognizing them and like not like eye rolling them. Like, I think we always say how you kind of like pick up the phone and how you greet somebody in the morning with the morning text or whatever, like always acting like you're happy to hear from your partner. Don't totally, even if you call them, know. Definitely. And we hear each other like she's obsessed with looking at apartment humor that I don't give a fuck about that.


But like, she wants to show me, I'll look. Yeah, she knows that. I don't care. I'll still look. I'm obsessed with these, like, travel YouTube channels. I'll talk about it and she will roll her eyes. But also still listen to me. Yeah. I mean, you know, in a way that's like she respects what I'm interested in. Yes. Well, what a treat to have a partner also that like literally doesn't care about any other hobbies, but at least you guys like.


That's what we all want. Good. OK, so we you have amazing stories. Thank you. I picked a few. Well they're so funny. I don't know these stories, you know, thank you for picking sound because literally last night I was talking to Hilary and I was like, what are like what good stories do I have? Because a lot of the time, like if I tell a, quote, good story, like I didn't even realize it was a good story until after people say that was a good story.


But you are so like, what is the word, like unassuming or like you come out of nowhere with these stories that I've talked about this with Francis because they're insane. OK, so this one I love and it's topical. It's about how you got an X back.


Oh, yeah. OK, so I have this ex who sort of like savagely broke up with me just like in cold blood was like, hey, I don't like you anymore. Like I would, you know, that's a reason to completely move on forever. But I was heartbroken and I had a friend. So my friend's daughter is how I met this girl. So my friend is older than the other guy and this girl is younger than me. But it wasn't like she was like it.


College age, whatever, like young, but whatever. So I was like really heartbroken and he felt really bad for me, seeing how heartbroken I was. And he goes, it's not right what she did to you. He goes, this is what we're going to do. We're going. He goes and he goes, we have we're going to make up we're going to make up a story that you found this new girlfriend. She's beautiful. She's just incredible.


You think if there's a girl and I thought I had a comedy show, I had met this girl who's a model and she was going to South Africa and I like, got her email or something. I don't think she ever fired me. I emailed I was able to go on a date and she never hit me back. But she was moving to South Africa and he was perfect because no one would be able to corroborate the story.


And this is long enough ago that, like, I don't think Instagram and even stuff like ways to stop the party or something. Yeah. Okay. So he goes, this was. We're going to do. He goes, I'm going to tell my daughter that you're dating this girl, she's so hard, this new girl, whatever, I'm paraphrasing, but in on it. So he said, I'm going to tell her and then she's going to tell someone and she's going to tell someone.


And eventually it's going to get back to her that you're dating the smoking hot model. And he's like, and watch how quickly she and she messages you. So we did exactly that. And Dad, fuck Boyd, may I be so bad? I know, right? Wait for it. Savage So. So she starts. So it ends up getting back around to her and she ends up hitting me up because of that. And we end up dating again for like three more years, three years.


There's two really nice things about this story that are hilarious. So this girl's name is Cody Cabral. OK. The model, I believe she's now married. But seven years later, I ran into her at a casting and I walked up to her and I was like, Cody, right. She's a guy. I was like, we met a long time ago. I was like, hey, you're going to love this story. I told her, she said, that's a fucking nuts.


Then we made a clip of it for my podcast. We posted it, my ex-girlfriend replies going, ha ha ha. DataDot Wait, is this about me?


Oh, you never told her it was a lie. No.


But she goes, This is the greatest thing I've ever heard. Thank you. She loved what she loved. I mean, so many years later, we've got the family and his story. The dad. My dad did that to me. OK, what if my dad did that to me, like via you also? We have got to talk about that. You didn't just like hook up another time. You dated for three more years. I can't get past that.


She broke up with you and then this thing made her debut for three more years. Did you change to kick around for three years? I can't. Can you? I mean, this is crazy. It's a good question. So this girl, she had just started college and she was going to art. So she's going to Rizzotti and she was changing so much that like enough time went by that when we revisited, like she had matured a ton and now she was like she actually completely changed up her look.


She like fully embraced the art school thing where before she was kind of like New York City girl and like her family is like kind of was like a high profile sort of show. Like she already was kind of like in the fast lane to begin with. It was really hard to keep her attention. So then she was in college. We were long distance. I would go visit. I was the guy visiting college, which is so lame. I was like, oh, jueteng.


Oh, yeah. Did you love did you guys need me to pick up some beer? I was clearly doing that guy though. I was cool at the time was the old guy. We are going to get them all heads in Pittsburgh had already graduated though. OK, you're out of college. I had already graduated college. Boston University. OK, you did. But just too funny. I mean I was it was just crazy. So many different.


Interesting twist it so it doesn't seem real. The story doesn't seem real. And it's like this older man that was like steering the ship like I just love it so much. OK, so we're talking about older people now. Tell us about when you dated your friend's mom. OK, so I went on a date with my friend's mom. OK, although the crazy part is a girlfriend's mom. Yes. Which actually is probably better. Right, because, like, I feel like your guy friend wouldn't want to be like, dude, you want to fuck my mom.


Like, it's. Yeah, totally. So it started out as a joke. I like your mom so high, your mom. So she say hi, Hijuelos like Papa Jules. She was like, this girl is younger at the time. So it would have been weird if I was even dating her. But like her mom was at your mom's house, your mom's hot and I was like twenty. The girls younger than you like your friend. I must be twenty three.


Twenty to twenty three. The mom must've been thirty eight or forty or something. And I was like, I want to take your mom on a date. And she was like OK. And I was like really. And she was a guy. I was like, can I have your number. And we had all gone to this lunch together like my friend's parents. And so I texted, I was like, Hey, you want to go out with me?


You're confident 48, you're 23. We went to ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba six in Pakistan. It's like a really nice place for, like, a young kid to take someone. Yeah. Actually, it's funny, I asked my Italian friend who like lived here because he like knew the city better than me at the time. I was like where she goes. I always like to take a first date. That to Balboni is a good place.


I was like, okay, cool. Like Barberini it is OK, it's on Park Avenue. It's really beautiful, but it's, it's a lot of like little messy. So it's food that's good to share and you're eating with your hands. It's sexy. Good day place. Yeah. So we have a couple of drinks. I think she like had a drink. We're talking, we're doing this now and I just like never cracked her open. Like I never she was never that interested.


And it was actually the worst performance that I've ever had on a first date. Not to be anticlimactic with that. Were you nervous? She was just like in a very different stage of life than you are. That didn't faze you? I was in that phase. By that I mean, I was nervous because, like, I don't know, she was this, like, older hot lady and like, yeah, you know, I wanted to, like, make her like me, whatever.


I don't know if she kind of got me all wrong, like I was like a tennis teacher at the time. I don't know if her mom thought that I was like some like NYC legacy kid or something like because that was sort of how she first met me. I was at a lunch with all these like NYC people, like in that whole world. So I don't know if that was a more appealing person to her than what I ended up being, which is like the tennis, which is the craziest part to me and I told you this before, is that I would think a woman who's going to date or hook up with a guy half her age who also friends with her daughter, the point is that he's like a hot tennis instructor.


Like the point is not that he's going to be your sugar daddy. He's like twenty. And I don't know if that's what you want, but yes, 100 is funny because when you told the story, whenever I saw you tell it, you were like you are like successful enough for her. And I'm like that the same like the fantasy is that you are like younger. Not that you're going to take care of her as like twenty something. And there's a really strong chance, who knows, maybe she just didn't like me.


Maybe she's like, oh this guy is too much of a boy or some shit like who knows. But she made it very clear because she lives like four blocks away from me from where I was staying. Oh. So when we got in the cab, she made it very clear that we were making two stops. OK, we hugged. No first kiss, you know, I mean, I'm yeah, I'm forty and I'm going out the twenty three year old.


And finally, for one reason, it's not for your conversation skills and you're definitely coming over. So I don't know what she expected. Yeah. You want to like, really turned her off at some point. I mean, no offense, but I would totally that would be like you're coming up, you know what I mean? Like, I'm going to get something out of this. I mean, you know. Yeah, I must have fucked up.


I mean, I would love to hear what she would have to say about it. I'm sure we would have a good laugh. But a few years later, and when the daughter and I both were a little older, we ended up going out a few times, which is pretty funny.


I wake you and in fact, both of them did better. Did you sleep with her, though?


The daughter, the daughter and I dated sort of we didn't like date, but like, did you go to a family dinner and things went better with let's just leave it at with the things went better with it. OK, did you read between the lines. No it never it never turned into we I went, I hung out with her family. Right. That would have been crazy. It would have been. Could you imagine like going to Christmas dinner.


You've dated the mom and the daughter. I know. I can't imagine. I mean my mom has been married for forty years so I can't even like really wrap my head around it. But to date it keeps you and your mom dated the same dude. It's too crazy. Yeah, it's so crazy. I got to be honest, like their mother, I don't remember how I felt that I did and I didn't start journaling yet at that age.


I think this is my journaling is so important because journal. I do. Yeah. You you can remember how you felt. Yeah. That's so valuable. You forget that you know. Yeah, absolutely. Sure. I wish I could go back and see if the reason I mean the daughter is beautiful and like a lovely person and whatever and she's, she's funny. She's great. But I wonder if there was part of me that was like, oh, this is sick.


Like I went out with her mom, now I'm going out with her like a shirt that had to have played into it for sure. Well, thank you for sharing these stories, Julio. Should we move on? Yeah. So, OK, you have you have really great insights. I really enjoyed talking to you about like relationships and dating. So we're we we design games for everybody because on the show we're going to we polled our listeners. We're going to do mentalizing with you today.


Were people submitted questions about male behavior. You're going to mansplaining this and analyze with that. OK, all right. Let's go.


OK, my first question, Bush or no bias. Oh, I did. About this one.


Oh, wow. OK, can I answer it like I did? Not in one word. Yeah. Oh no. Yeah. The point is. OK, so the answer is Bush but both. OK, Bush for both. Bush would like a bad there are we talk about President Bush both. That's who he ran on Bush but both me and my dad. Oh but but I think that like, you know, when people ask, what's your favorite food?


The correct answer is a variety of my favorite foods. That's the correct answer to that question for anyone. So I think the same way with Bush or no Bush, they're both wonderful. But I think that I lean towards Bush, but both are wonderful. And I like I like the both. Right. Also, guys like I don't do that like any guy that says like they only prefer one. It's a that's a fact. And Loserville dude, like, you know, like, mix it up, dude, right?


Also, it depends on who the carrier of the bush is. I don't have a great bush. I don't rock a bush that much. OK, I can't grow like a rock in Bush. So, like, I don't rocket a lot, but like, I also don't always shave and like I've never had a guy be like, nope, not doing that. Then I have to, like, punch guys in the face to get them out of there.


Oh yeah.


This is a friend of ours not going to say who, but he did like show me a nude that he had received from this girl and she had amazing Busha like I mean, I think I always say I like this big old bush, but like little did I know people out here like Puffy or Fluffy are jealous and puffy. Fluffy. If I can do happy Fluffy, I brocco Bush. Was it a full, puffy, fluffy like was there anything I can bring them?


I mean she I don't know. They have a funny relationship I guess. And she had told him that she actually did have to landscape a little before. So I think she must have it all she misses be a hairier person. So I guess she had shaved the sides of what was left. So when he told me that story, I was like laughing that this girl had to groom before sending these nudes. Also, for the record, it was just a body shot.


I couldn't see your face. I don't know who this girl is. But anyway, so the bush was perfect. It looked like a, you know, seventies porn. Right? Right. And honestly, there's different tiers of Bush as well. Like, I like, you know, there's kind of like the kempt one. There's the one that's like shaved from the bottom, goes on the top. But then there's just like the straight up 1970s Nevada desert nuclear explosion bush.


It looks like a mushroom cloud. And that is like, by the way, it's Nevada. I've noticed during the election it became a thing like how do we know about Nevada? But then it might be an ex. No, I'm totally kidding. I don't know either. An ex of mine really just likes to right out of the waxing salon, full Brazilian, you know what I mean? But he didn't mind when I was had a bush.


No guy's ever married. OK, so speaking of nudes, I'm so excited you're gonna ask this, OK? Why not? Who is this guy? Why does my man respond cool after I sent him a nude? OK, let me qualify this because we did an episode about sexting and like sexy pics and a lot of girls were like, I guess it'd be really cool, bro. Like guys, like guys that have no idea what to say to you when you send one.


So like why does that happen? Like, I think there's a way to to to kind of communicate enthusiasm. At least I wonder if he's like, send me a picture of you doing this and then she does it and then he says, cool, that's one thing. We just we just say solicited bare minimum, like hard eyes, water droplets, emoji, like just something that shows a girl you are appreciating when she's been out there than like did know.


Do you think they're just so uncomfortable? They're like, I have no idea what to say to this. I want it. I like it. Maybe I think that the texting medium allows you to not be uncomfortable. You either yourself like what I would say to that. If I received a hot nude from somebody who I really liked, I'd be like, I need that soon, or I'm hoovering to a bridge and jumping off of it. Right.


Or like, I wish you were here. Like, it's, oh, I need you are so long.


I need you like. Yes, I need that. Cool. Yeah. Well it's just like fuck yeah dude. I mean I don't know what to do with those two. That's good friend. Yeah that's my favorite. I saw this girl tweet. She was like I sent a nude here about looking good friend. I'll never forget looking good friend. Yeah. Like one one syllable words like what are you doing. Like dope. OK, I feel like I've sort of been here before and I feel like I understand why.


OK, why do men say they've never had a blowjob to completion but they insist on fucking you when they're close. So like yo do you know what I mean. Yeah I have it. Right, ok, you I mean I'm like can you respond. Yeah. Yeah. A guys like I just like I would never. What is a blowjob again. Guys. There are guys will tell you they can't finish from a blowjob but like this girl basically saying, oh yeah.


I mean I understand it's listen, it's hard to have somebody else like masturbate you when you're fucking a person. You have control over speed, over the intensity of it. I don't I haven't heard that a lot, actually. Like no one's ever told me that they couldn't finish. I finish them all. No, I just I didn't know that was the thing. Like, I can't come from a blowjob. Oh, I've had a couple of guys tell me that before, OK?


I mean, I keep going because I don't want to downplay my BGA skills. They weren't telling me like while it was happening. Just they mentioned it in passing. Why am I doing this. I'm basically they were saying like, you know, that like a guy was like close but then he stops and foxon my my theory and this is like it's hard to control, like rhythm and pace of another person. And when you're fucking you can control the rhythm of the pace.


Yeah. So I think, I think there's two questions there. I think it's like why is that such a common narrative among men saying that they cannot finish their blowjob and why then when they're about to do they want to have sex instead? And I think that the answer to the latter is that sex is the fucking real thing. It's the major leagues, you know, I mean, like the blowjobs triple and you want to, like, finish in the promised land, like you don't want to, you know, I mean, that makes sense to me there.


And I think what you just said, too, as far as like the logistics of a blowjob. But I also think there's this like guilt involved is the man. We're like, you just feel bad if like. You see someone working hard and it's like not going anywhere, you get in your own head and it makes it even harder, like it becomes like a self-fulfilling prophecy. So it is I mean, I love guys going down to me, like, I'll let anybody do it, like off the streets.


I don't care. But like I would say, maybe half of the guys we've gone down on me have given me an orgasm. And I feel like that's being generous, like it's a real skill. And a lot of guys are not good at it. And I mean, we all know that moment where, you know, it's not going to happen. And for me, like, I got to call them up. Right. But I'm like so tall, like yelled out there, you know, can I actually said the courier down there.


No, I'm like, you're you're down here. Come on. Come on up. I mean, everybody is totally different. I come, like, really fast, but, like, there's nothing wrong with that. I come really fast for it. But there's nothing worse than bad. Oral sex is so unpleasant for me, like when I just like, can't get into it. And somebody is just like I mean, it sounds just like spitting all over your clit, like, I don't want that.


It's gross. I'd rather you just like come up here and like just get inside. I mean, let's do this thing. I don't it's it's uncomfortable. I'm painting that picture of just like. Yeah. Like that's so bad. Jesus Christ. Yeah. And I've had some guys that were great at it, but you know, you know and I counter question now this is like making me curious. Yeah. So when you're saying like you, you call him up, you're like high powered, like let's not is there ever.


Because I felt like at times in my life where there have been times where it seems as if the girl is enjoying it and like the like the tight like the kind of like tightening up that appears like I'm making progress begins to happen. And then they're like, OK, stop, come. Yeah. So first of all, sometimes I'm just pretending because I just want it to stop and I just want to have sex. I know I'll enjoy that more.


But the other thing is once I have an orgasm, sometimes I'm just like, I don't wanna do this anymore. So like, I don't want to come because then I got to, like, lay there and like, I'm just blown sex with you and I'm just sort of like, listen, I'm all for really long sex sessions. I can come multiple times. Like, sometimes you just want to like, get off and like be done with it for the day.


And it's like if I have to get off and then I have to fuck you, I'm like, well I think and you guys know me like you know me on leave as my is my vibe. That's my special. But I, I hate to say this. I masturbate a lot with a vibrator and it's just like it's so much more powerful on your clit. And so of course it's sexy that a guy is down there that you like that's going down on you.


Is that sexy mentally human? It's hard to like to get that sensation with a person down there. So I think I hate to say it, but I think and this is just how I feel personally about me and maybe some woman can relate, have kind of fucked ourselves with the use of the vibrator on your clit. So you know me, I don't really go down there with, like, my hand, like, I'm just kind of used to this, like thing with a battery.


So if I were in a relationship, I would probably want them to maybe incorporate a toy or two when they're going down to me. So that's kind of what it is for me. I just I'm like, he's doing great. This isn't there's not much wrong with what's going on on there. He knows what he's doing, but like, I'm just so much used to so much more intensity. So, like, just come on up and let me, like, jump on top, you know, but the blowjob thing is very similar to me, at least where it's like that person's hand knows exactly like the rhythm and the pressure that they need to come into.


Like just having a mouth on your dick isn't going to necessarily make you calm. So I see I see it the same, I guess. I just think that, like, I know what you mean. If you're a vibrator good at giving blowjobs, like, I feel like the average guy can get off income. Yeah. But I don't know. I don't know. I would I would agree that it's not my preferred method, OK, of, you know, finishing the job.


But, you know, it doesn't mean it can't be done. I have this conversation, guys here. I give a great blowjob this summer. I was just like, that's all you guys. I think I would literally think the most fun blowjob I've ever given. You got it. You got to enjoy it. I really had so much fun. He had a great time.


I was sick for both of us. Well, Julia, thanks for mentalizing. Yeah, my pleasure. I really find these transitions. I love these. Usually we're just like we ask questions. The answers, like he doesn't like you. You were so great. I'm going to find you and tell them where they can find your podcast, your Instagram, anything else that you're working on. Yeah. Oops. The podcast I do with Francis, who I know is a friend of your guy's podcast as well.


Franscell, check that out. I watch the podcast. I'm at Nahuelito on Instagram and I think that's pretty much what days the podcast out you guys do a couple of days a week from Tuesday and Thursday. It comes out OK. Yeah, good guess on there. They've been on our show actually and I've actually I've been on both a couple of times, so I would definitely appreciate if you check that I was. Thank you. Thank you guys for having me.


So. Yeah. And you guys know where to find us girls. Got a podcast, dotcom get merch and tickets to our virtual live show on December 13th at Girls Got to E podcast on Instagram. Ash has Ranaghat Greenberg and Instagram girls in our score. Got you on Twitter. Newcomb's girl's got to eat.


We'll see you next week. How are you, Weeki Kylie.