Transcribe your podcast

It really seems like post covid people are sort of trading up from the idea of getting some to getting something really good.


Welcome back to another episode of Girl's Got to Eat. Welcome back. I don't know what to say. I had nothing planned. It's April. This is a comedy podcast about dating, sex and relationships. Welcome. If you're new here and even if you're hate listening, we're happy to have it. It's going to rain today, is it? Yeah, it was supposed to. That's why you wanted to go to the Winter Hotel to have to have drinks there today.


We did get in a little tiff this week because we were trying to decide where to go to get drinks. And I said, can we please go to the Ludlow Hotel? I love it there. We've been there since before the pandemic. And you were like, I don't want to go there. So trying to make the lotto happen at a winter bar that was supposed to rain today. Mahogany, wood and leather have a fireplace also there in front of the fireplace in the summer for it and just feel cozy.


What I do is more marshmallows over there to make sure that it's not open. So and then our friend that we were going to get together with canceled anyway. So we have no plans. I love when someone cancels on me.


Yeah, OK, let's stay and help our partners up top. Thanks to you, Cora, for supporting girl's got to eat. Get proactive about urinary tract health with you Kaura. Right now you Hauri is offering 20 percent off for girls listeners when you go to you Cora Dotcom Sluggy that's UCU over a dotcom sluggy. And thanks to Trump for supporting girls, Trump is the first of its kind. A luxury hot sauce with an ultra unique blend of real black troubles and spices get 15 percent off statewide, plus free shipping with promo code GGGI at


Yes, and thanks to Rory for supporting girls. Got to eat. Rory is a digital health clinic for your skin care. Go to Hello Rory Dotcom Sorgi to try out nightly defense for just five dollars. And thanks to calm the number one mental wellness app for supporting girls got to eat sleep more stress less live better with calm go to calm dotcom slog for a limited time get forty percent off your calm premium subscription with hundreds of hours of programming unlimited access to CALM's entire library, a new content is added every week at home.


Local dotcom. OK, well just do a couple of announcements. OK, one month from today, it's April 5th. One month from today will be May 5th. No, still let me finish. Still one month rate is over record flagging me down one month from today. If you're listening, it is comes out will be May 5th and that will be our Tampa show. Our but before that we will be in Miami. So our shows in Florida are May 2nd, May 5th, May 6th, Miami, Tampa, Orlando.


I cannot believe one month away we will be celebrating Cinco de Mayo at the Tampa Improv. I cannot wait to get those tickets. The table one is going to be we have one of the most special guests. He's not going on stage with us. Maybe it is. He'll come on stage.


Oh, my God. No, I'm Orlando. He's coming Orlando. Yeah. He's going to also come to Orlando because one of the all star, he's an icon. He created one of our greatest segments. We've ever done it a lot. Don't give it away. I'm not I'm not giving it away with everything that I do. So he is ah. I mean, he he is like one of our favorite favorite Florida fans. He is an icon, will tell you the story of the show and then we'll tell you the story at all the shows.


But he'll be there at the Orlando show. So get those tickets, girls. Daddy podcast dotcom. We cannot wait to see you guys in Florida.


Also on girls gay polka dot com. We have merch. We have a a catalog of every single episode do we've ever done and never guess we ever done. We have an amazing arsenal of stuff for you guys.


Use it. Yeah. We love that you're there. OK, I have to tell you, like a really quick funny thing that happened to me this morning, OK? I just want to give out a shout out to our listeners for how smart they are because I feel like they just like really know us. And this like, I'm going to make you laugh so much. OK, so I was talking to this guy this morning who I've been talking to.


You were texting. I made a joke like, I can't believe I really like you. And he said, speaking of liking me. And I was like, oh, God, what happened? And he sent me this screenshot from one of our listeners. She slid into the heart of anxiety that was so cute. She said museums. And she was like, this podcast host right now that I've been listening to is only dating divorced guys. So I think you need to shoot your shot.


No. Yes.


Why am I emotional? And he said, so will you go out with me? I remember. That is so crazy. Like you are already talking. This guy is one of our listeners have told him to shoot a shot. He's like, I got you. He's like way ahead of you her tomorrow. Oh my God. That is so amazing. So amazing. I just. Oh my God, I have a story for this. Why it took me.


I just was reminded of this.


I'm not trying to hijack your that's the whole story. I just I love our listeners. I think they know it's really well. I think she knew that I would like this guy. He's not just because he's divorced, which he is, but she was like really getting divorced because this is a divorce. I'll tell you, she was shot. OK, this is this is a story about my ex.


And we had been dating maybe like a month, six weeks, whatever. I think that we'd just gone Instagram official, like social media official. Everybody knew we were dating. And he gets this text from a girlfriend like a casual friend. And it was screenshots of a conversation that they had had. Like, I don't even six months a year prior, like like a while back, and so she texted him and she's like, Hello, I see you're dating Ashley.


And then she attaches screenshots of the conversation that they had in which she said, I think you need to meet this comedian named Ashley Hasseltine. I think you guys would be good together. And I think he was just like, I don't know who it is, whatever. Like, I think any girl would, like, look that person up, but whatever guys are different. But I just love that that girl message because with with like and I was right.


Hello. Like that would be 100 percent. What are the fucking. Oh I know. Also now I have to follow up and ask him what he said to that girl. What he cut off the screenshot after that. Oh it's a full page he didn't like purposely cut it off but not he responded, I don't know, I didn't look at her. I feel like you probably told her like I am. Honestly, I don't know. She knows her business.


I don't care. Sure. I mean, she listens to the show. She'll know it anyway. That's what I'm talking about. OK, yeah. OK, so I have a question to ask you. It does kind of have to go in with this. I've been dying to ask you this for the last twenty four hours. I almost texted it to you and I stopped myself because I was like, I have to ask this on the podcast because I feel like it's something that our listeners do need to know.


So you are going to see somebody, you're going to visit somebody that you have been talking to. And obviously I knew that I was that we've been talking about it for a while now. I don't tell actually that much.


But when I do and you just casually slipped into conversation yesterday that you have a bikini wax.


Well, you know what, I'm sorry. Anyone who knows both of our vaginas knows that you've never had one, you've never had one, you can't grow up. Bush does a few stray hairs you have down there. You shave what is going on?


And then today they called you to confirm your appointment or you were trying to move your appointment. And I'm just sitting here, like holding back. I was dying to know why you had nothing to say about it. Because I was waiting. Because I need I want to inform the fam at this at the same time that I'm learning this information, what is going on. So I'm so glad you asked because I honestly thought, why isn't she asking Kibler?


She does think this is a big deal. I just don't want to deal.


I want to I told you guys I just want to have like a lot of sex. And honestly, I don't want to deal with any stuff. All that's happening. I've had a bikini wax once in my life. It was also when I was going on a trip to meet a guy. We stayed at a hotel in Columbus and didn't leave the hotel for the whole weekend. And we just talked a lot. Honestly, I don't know the irritation.


So you are getting sugar, though, so I'm getting sugar. So what? OK, here's how it started. I am going to a warm climate. I'm pretty pale. I was going to go get a spray tan and the place that I get spray tans is short and bronze. And I was like, I was there. Why don't I just like wow, my badge. So that's how this all started.


So you should, you should be good like by tomorrow to have sex. Like, you know, it's like I'm not going to go. No, the sugaring is better for that. But if you get a wax and especially if it's one of your first waxes or you have sensitive skin at all, like you do have a little redness and irritation, like maybe up to twenty four hours afterwards. So usually if you go to wax, you are not supposed to really exercise or have sex, at least you know, until you've overall like slept overnight on it.


I don't really have sensitive skin down there. Sugar is obviously much better. So for me when I get sugared I'm fine, even like immediately after every skin is different. But this girl messaged me while we're here, while we're talking about it, this girl messaged me and she said, so many girls message me all the time and they say they live in Atlanta. They're going to go to Sweet Peach for the first time. I convinced them to go and it is like the best sugar cane in existence.


And then this girl was like, shit like I have a appointment tonight, like, should I be OK? And she was her her sugar. And was that like noon? You know, she's going to fuck at 8:00 p.m. maybe let's say. And I was like, if, if your skin's like mine, you'll be fine. But I can't speak for everybody. But sugar generally is way less irritation. But they still need to kind of tell you to be cautious because they don't want anybody to flare up.


But I probably wouldn't get a bikini wax and really plan to fuck the next night just if I wasn't sure what my skin is going to do. I think you're going to be fine. But I don't know. Do you have sensitive skin? I only had one bikini wax, but actually the day that I got a wax, I did have sex that day. OK, so it wasn't an issue I wax that morning and it was not an issue.


And like I said, sugar. And it's different than wax now. But you know what? I'm going to do it tonight at 8:00 p.m. and then I probably won't have a deck appointment until these 10 p.m. Eastern time. But with the time difference, I get an extra three hours until it is actually. Oh, you're good to go. OK, so I'm thinking like thirty hours after. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my gosh.


Honestly that is like so embarrassing that the whole world knows I'm getting my second wax ever for this person. You just don't really need it like you, you don't. You just have like not a lot of hair down there. Yeah I don't and like I don't, I mean it's just like little blonde. It's like not like a big, wiry bush.


Where were when we were talking about oh my God, when did my straight bush hair come up. Oh my God. With Rob. Do you remember this. We haven't even talked about this. Strange. This is just one of the hardest I've lived in so long. We were here, Rob was in town. It was the three of us. This is maybe like a month ago.


And somehow it came up that my vagina hair is kind of straighter and flatter, like whiskers, like just like a Mr. Miyagi, really naturally long straight hair. And it kind of does. It's the same down there.


It's not really big and curly, OK? It's kind of straight, like a shaggy old beard. Oh, my God.


Well, I'm happy for you. Thank you. I'll let you guys know how it goes. OK, well, we have some fun stuff to discuss about from you guys with some listener submissions. We're going to get to those, but we do have a couple racks.


You know what I was I'm glad these are coming up. The listener wrote us this great email and she said that, like, she's basically in charge of selecting everything that her and her boyfriend watch now because of our rax. And he doesn't understand where she's getting them. Yeah. And she's like, you guys made me look so smart. And I thought I was like, so adorable.


So why do we do this? Also, somebody tried to be like Ashley, one of your ex isn't new bitch. Yeah, I know. I used to recommend stuff from the 90s. I recommend The Sopranos. It's for me it's like you don't care The Bodyguard. We recommend you like on a. The fact that I even recommend new stuff is off brand for me, this whole thing started because I actually only talked about it from 40 years ago on this show last summer.


I was like, Sis, you're late on this. I'm like, bitch, you know what? I'm early for me. Honestly, I'm going to recommend, you know, Freaks and Geeks from the early 90s. You know, it's coming into its last season. I we see this younger last season, but I'm dying for it because they like it hasn't been it's been so long. I can't wait. I got to see how. Right. You think she's going to bujar she has set up a job.


Oh my God. While we're here, let's talk about it. Let's talk about I because the trailer shows that Richard proposes. I just have always been team Josh and I think that goes without saying. I'm like, I'm Tim Richards bank account. I'm Team Josh's deck. I am so big on chemistry on screen.


And I think that, yes, her and Josh like have this Hoder vibe in general, like from the Star, you know, is this hot, tattooed younger guy, whatever. I do genuinely feel like their onscreen chemistry is better. I also just like this idea and we talk about all the time, like love doesn't always look how you think it's going to seem like you think you should be with, like the rich older man with like the mansion in Manhattan.


You live like the tattoo Brooklyn guy, and it's just like you can't choose who you love, you know, the heart wants with the heart. Yeah. So anyway, people do ask sometimes, like what team we are. I mean, I'm a team, whatever would make her happy. But clearly it's course obviously Josh with maybe retrospect now. OK, ok. What are your rack's ok. I just have one. OK, this is not new, it's but it's not old.


So there are two seasons of sex education on Netflix and I don't think this is really a deep cut. I think when sex education came out and made a huge splash, I was looking at it last night, has really great reviews and it really blew up when it came out. It is a British comedy drama type show and it is about high school kids. You know, that's my brand stay true to my brand. And the premise is that Gillian Anderson, I think she's been exile's she's so beautiful.


So she's a sex therapist and the mother to this teenage boy and she's parenting him single. She's got men coming in and out fucking she's a sex therapist. She does her practice in her home. There's like dildos everywhere, like and he's this teenage boy who has issues like this is not a spoiler. It opens with him pretending to masturbate because he cannot masturbate because he's so damaged from other things. But like his mom is just like the super she's an embarrassment to him that she's a sex therapist anyway.


He kind of goes on to start. He like kind of counsels some people in the school because he knows all this stuff about sex from his upbringing. And then he kind of starts a sex clinic and I won't give any more away. I absolutely love it. I liked it the first couple episodes. I liked it. I you know, if I don't like a show with him for ten minutes, I turn off. I want no part of that.


I'm not a big like you got to wait till the seventh season to really catch on. So I liked it, but I didn't think I would love it as much as I actually am. So now I'm in this. I just started the second season really a lot about teens exploring their sexuality, a lot of not straight teens and teens that are trying to figure it out and they're exploring it. And I really love that part of it. And just a lot of like really interesting sex and dating and relationship scenarios.


Like, I just I can't get enough of it. I love it so much. And I will say something that was new for me.


Watching the show was how wildly attracted I was to the well, I won't give it away, but it's essentially is the plumber for the the mom's house. And like, they kind of have a thing. I'm not going to spoil it, but I don't know. You know what I like older men, sexy. He is just like so, so sexy.


I've never been turned on by an older man, this person. Yeah, I was lucky. I had actually never been turned off by an older man. Yes. So I just I'm loving it. I, I know so many people know about it. Again, it's not like a heartache and you know, tell me about it was friendzone kind of keep some of them around. Yeah. So which is the guy that's not going to dig to him.


Like we just went on a couple of days and now we're friends and he told me about it and I started watching it and I'm loving it, OK, I need new shows. So like maybe I'll check that out tonight. I really want I really think you're like it. I've been hitting the docs too hard recently. Yeah. So, Guy, spoiler alert, I have a documentary to recommend for you and then also like a good show, but I'm the documentary material recommend is on Netflix.


It's called See Spirit AC. It's a film that features the effects of overfishing and just the amount of garbage that we pour into the ocean. I rarely watch a film that changes my mind about the way that I eat and the food I consume and just thinking about like all the terrible things we do with the world. So it talks about commercial fisheries, marine ecosystems, sustainable fishing, dolphin safe practices and just all of these crises that we're putting on to the ocean.


And they sort of prophesies when we are going to overfishing. Kelsey, I found it really interesting if you care about marine life, if you care about the ecosystem at all, I thought it was interesting. It's worth a watch. It's not super long. It's like an hour and 20 minutes. So that is great. CCRC on Netflix. The other one is the one on Netflix. I think it's six episodes, it's a fictional series about the CEO of this company called Matchday, it's a company that can pair people with the perfect partner based solely on your DNA samples.


It sounds a little sci fi. It is based in like current day, essentially. And it just basically is if these scientists came up with a way to match you with your perfect partner based on DNA, would you do it? If you are already married, would you do it? How does this affect people like cheating and dating and things like that in the future? I thought it was super interesting and raised a lot of questions, at least for me, of like nature versus nurture.


What if you're matched with somebody from across the world who is a totally different upbringing? Would you date that person, things like that? Yeah, I haven't watched it. I plan on watching it. It's just it seems so crazy to me. I think, like our life experience is so much of what makes us who we are. We do. So I really can't like do they keep in mind homosexuality or, you know, your sexuality? One of the things I really like about the show is it features tons of gay couples and interracial couples.


But like, what if they were like your perfect partner here? Is this your man? Here's your perfect partner. She's a woman. He's like, I'm gay. One of the things they focused on that I thought was weird was not that, but not weird. But they matched us scientists from America with this woman who lives in like a refugee camp in Somalia. And she doesn't speak English. And it's like, well, OK, how do these people can act?


What is their life experiences and how does that match up? Yeah, I don't buy it. But listen, I believe in science. I believe and like I just like hearing. I can't imagine. Yeah, it made me think about that a lot. And like, can you be with somebody who's just life is so different than yours. That doesn't mean like don't try to, but like there is an extent at which like, yeah, that could be your DNA match with our life is so different than yours.


And then the other part is they focus on this couple that is already married and so madly in love and she files to see who his match is.


OK, so yeah, show me my match. I'm all I'm already deeply in love with somebody who had all this life experience with them. Would you leave that partner because they're in a no, I don't want to see my marriage, so I got to bribe a lot of just interesting existential questions for me.


Yeah, no, totally not. And I just also definitely feel like we have so many different people. We can have a lifelong, a happy, loving relationship with. I think that is the point. I've been in love multiple times. They're all very different. They all have filled me for different reasons at different times. Yeah. So I don't believe this. There's one person in the world for everybody that would be a fucked up game that we were supposed to navigate.


There's one person you have to find them. Both will match them. But it's a lot of money. So anybody can do this. Yeah, the idea is that these two scientists came up with the technology. They start the company. They have millions of people sign up in the first year. And it's about I think I think it starts at the end of like the first or second year of this company. But so people are doing this. Everyone is in the world is doing this.


This is like the predominant way the people are meeting everybody else in the world right now.


People are doing this. What's fake? But, yes, the idea is, oh, it's not real, actually. Oh, you think it's a science that matches people based on their DNA to their exact part. Are you and I have never heard this documentary.


It's it's a fictional script.


Did I even. You were fired up about this, is that it exists at this point, you got to be kidding me. This whole time I thought this was real and like only like scientists could do it. I don't know. I thought it was real. But the regular people didn't have access to this technology existed in our dating podcast. I have never brought this up to you. I'm the history here. I thought it just became a thing.


And that's what the show is about.


This would be the biggest thing in the world, that it would end online dating. It would end it like having a boy. You just get to pay a bunch of money and they're like you, this person? No, because I think that a lot of people would be like, I don't care about my DNA says like that's how I started to become a person when I got born into the world, you know what I mean? Like, I thought this was real.


And I was kind of wondering, like, why there hasn't been a lot of buzz about it. You've never seen it on Instagram. No one is talking. Netflix is the only people that know about it. Also, it's a fictional series where you did say that first thing I said, well, it's I had already had in my mind that it wasn't. So I just didn't even hear that that one in one ear out the other. I thought you made a mistake.


I was like, I'll out this later. She's not even correct. I have never felt like I really feel like an idiot. I like that you started with. I've never really felt like an idiot. No. Like, I usually pick up on some pretty quick I mean, this is crazy like that. We would know about it. We would have heard about it, you know. Yeah. This isn't like under the radar thing.


I don't know, Rayna. Like, there's crazy technology. People can choose the sex of their kid these days. Yeah, but I don't think I'd have like a love match. I feel like it's so much deeper than, like, sight. I don't know. But to me it seems like something that scientists would have the technology to, like, do, but not everybody would like buy in or want to do it. I don't know. I just I don't buy that.


There could be a way because it's like how it's like it's so random what I'm attracted to. I can not believe this is fictional.


I cannot believe you thought this was real and that I wouldn't have suggested doing an entire episode honestly quitting the whole podcast and just general. OK, so anyway, guys, check out this dog's part, check out this documentary and check your DNA match to sign up, get up. Believe that.


So in middle school, I think I'm almost certain this is like just coming back to me. I think it was in like seventh or eighth grade, maybe ninth. No, I think it was middle school.


I'm pretty sure we all did these things to see who are like soulmates were in the school like like like a third party vendor, I feel like came in and gave us these little quizzes, like your teacher sanctioned this and they were like it was a little kid. And then we got our results and like, who was your match? It was this guy that I would like later become friends with, but was like, not nice to me. He picked me all the time.


Did they do any same sex matches or is that like to advance? For me that was a lot for the nineties. No, it was just like and everybody was running around me like, who's your like match? What do they base? That's what we were doing this in the nineties. So Delaware is so advanced. So no wonder.


Yeah, I remember seeing your top three and I was like, I can't believe that's my I guess it would make sense. You're looking, looking, looking back. It makes sense I guess is what I'm saying. But at the time I was like, that guy is not nice to me. Did they ask, like, how much do your parents make? Like, like what were the. I don't I really don't remember at all. Nothing like that.


Nothing like about your like family or like, you know, socioeconomic, whatever like it. Just like I don't, I really don't remember. I just remember getting that piece of paper and I was like, what the fuck.


Like what are your favorite periods. What snacks. I'm fascinated by this. How they did this. It was crazy. It was with kids. Yes. And so I just I wish I had more details. Like, it's kind of a vague memory. I hope somebody messages us and tells us this happened to them, too, because this is fascinating to me. Yeah. Or were we just super ahead of our time and Smyrna, Delaware, Delaware just crush in science.


OK, so today we're talking about another really interesting topic, and it is about how the pandemic has affected people in the world of dating sex relationships, but also kind of the outlook for the future. And we're going to get into it. We have the editor of Cosmo where I talk about the study that was done. But we asked you guys how you're feeling about it, kind of just to see you out of curiosity, but also just a cross reference, a little bit to see if it kind of lines up with what the study said.


So let's not talk about the study. Let's just like we'll get to it. No spoilers. But why don't we just go through some of the things that you guys said? We asked you, how is the pandemic changed your outlook on love, sex, dating and the future of it all? And you guys popped off and they were interesting. And I can't wait to get into the topic today and see how these align, but I'll just read a few.


I feel more comfortable with the fact that I may never get married and I'm OK with it. Someone said it's put me through an eight month Internet, long distance relationship and counting and couldn't love my boyfriend more. Someone said, taught me to love my body and value my pleasure. True orgasms are food for the soul. When you have a chance to get it in, just do it. No questions. Someone wrote, I'm way less conservative about sex, way more open to talking about and doing it.


Someone said, my vibrator is my ride or die, someone's in. My partner and I went to the pandemic thinking we'd have kids coming out of it with a decision not to. We had a few of them of we decided not to have kids. Oh, I mean, I actually can't quote like the exact percentage, but there's going to yeah, there's a baby, a baby boom, and it's been a baby bath. So we decided to just, you know, use protection and lock it up.


OK, time is limited and I should be having sex that is mind blowing and I accept nothing less. Go off, girl. OK, someone said, I realize how much work I do on myself before I feel comfortable dating again. I love that I'm nervous to casually date with STDs and covid. So people are being safe, are being quarantined alone for months. Made me realize that I like myself better when I'm single. Someone just said I give up.


Someone said, I've been having more sex during the epidemic than ever before, like every day I'm thinking it's like with your partner, huh? I think that's like with her partner, like with like different new people every day now discovering what real love for myself and others is and then finally took time to reflect on my unhealthy patterns and left a toxic relationship. Yes, we have only dating people I actually like. Instead of flailing around like a fucking fish, someone wrote, I'm married and pretty sure we can make it through anything now.


Another girl wrote, If his dick isn't good enough to risk covid, it ain't worth it. Pritch covid has made me even more thankful for the long term committed relationship I'm in and life is short.


Shoot your shot a man. OK, last bunch. Feeling hopeless right now, but fingers crossed we're heading into the Roaring Twenties and men will reappear in the wild. This is cute. I'm glad I got through this. Ash has it right. I love my partner, but get the fuck out to home. Sound bomb. Yes, go off shop, girl. Summer has no idea what's coming her way and neither do the man. I like her spice.


And finally, no more just being content. I'm either happy or I'm not. We only have time for happiness in twenty eight. Twenty one. Yes. So we had a huge mix. I will say, you know those are a sampling. There were negative ones. They were like datings, just as bad as it was before. I have lost hope yadda yadda. But I will say just glancing at the responses, I feel like they were overwhelmingly positive and they were overwhelmingly like, I'm loving myself, I'm pleasuring myself, my relationships.


Great. You know, of course, people broke up. We've talked about that, too. But that's what people said. And we are going to get into it with Jessica and the study and we are just so, so excited to talk about this. Yes, but before we do that, maybe we think a couple of partners. Yes, OK, I am telling you guys about calm. We we're just really living in a weird time. I've been laid awake at night with kind of all the bad news.


And so the good news is that there is there are things out there that can help us get to sleep and just feel more relaxed and quiet our minds and kind of wake up and being able to take on the day. So we're not just all spiraling all the time. Sleep is so important it helps you focus and recenter yourselves. And calm can really provide that kind of support. So we we just really love it. And we're partnering with Whitcombe, the number one mental wellness app, to give you tools that improve the way you feel.


So this is an app. You guys can go in there and you can find guided daily meditations. You can find their curated music tracks to help you improve your focus and also drift off to dreamland with CALM's imaginative sleep stories. So many sleep stories in their narrated by voices that you may know. And I fall asleep to one of the soundscapes every night. I'm loving that, too. Again, we've talked about the music before. There's like a mix.


Bye. I see like Ariana Grande, Ellie Golding. I just love Ellie Goulding. She really she really calms me down. Katy Perry. Keigo, you can't get enough, Kago. And the meditation's I have really been feeling a lot of feelings lately about the state of the world. And I have been meditating using the Carnap. And I just it really makes me feel a lot better. And I just feel like I'm I'm really improving my mental health.


So we just can't recommend this app enough. There are hundreds of hours of programming. New content is added every single week. So you can always have something to look forward to that's going to be fresh and different. Over one hundred million people around the world use Clallam to take care of their minds so you can sleep more stress, less live better with calm. And we have it. Just come for you guys. Of course, for listeners of the show, Calm is offering a special limited time promotion of forty percent off a call and premium subscription at calm dotcom saggy.


That's 40 percent off unlimited access to CALM's entire library. A new content is added every week. Get started today at Kame Dotcom Sorgi that's com dotcom sluggy.


OK, and I'm excited to talk about this next partner. You Quora. They specialize in utter relief and proactive urinary tract health supplements. The reason why I'm excited to talk about this is because I've suffered from UTIs and they are so excruciating it feels like nothing is going to make it better. I've gotten them so bad that I feel like I'm going to be like sick. And when I mentioned you, Kaura, to a girlfriend of mine, she was like, oh my God, I've been using them, obsessed with them.


It's so great. So we're excited to tell you about them. And they are offering 20 percent off when you guys to go to you, Cora Dotcom ciggie. And I'll tell you a little bit about it. Maybe you'll want to check it out. So if you guys have tried drink cranberry juice now you can try something that actually works. Basically, you take a packet of Kaura, you mix in a glass of water, you drink it after sacks or whatever.


You feel like you need support. So like I said, it is proactive, it's easy, it's effective, and it just tastes like pink lemonade. So it is a nice taste in your mouth. You cause you to drink, makes it flushes and cleanses the urinary tract. It also boosts your immune system. So you're doing something good for your body before or after sex. It also includes a vaginal probiotic and a daily supplement to cleanse biofilm from the urinary tract to cover your mouth from all angles.


You Hauri is really well reviewed. Like I said, my girlfriend loved it. I was so excited to discover it. They have over eight thousand five star reviews and they have a Muneeb. I guarantee so you guys can try at risk free if you've ever suffered from a UTI, you know how miserable it can be. You know how miserable and ineffective the treatments can be. So check it out.


I'm hoping to have to put more Ucore devices to be more proactive about your urinary tract.


Yeah, and you guys can get proactive about urinary tract health as well. With Ucore right now, you Cari's offering 20 percent off for girls. Got to eat listeners when you go to you Corra Dotcom Sluggy that's UCU a dotcom ciggie. Check it out yourself guys. OK, so let's get into it with our guest today.


Yes, we are really excited for our guest today. She is the editor in chief of Cosmopolitan magazine. Prior to our time of Cosmo, she held positions at The New Yorker, Vogue, Tebow, Glamour and Marie Claire. In October of twenty eighteen, she was named editor in chief of Cosmopolitan, becoming the youngest person in the history of the magazine to hold the position at the age of thirty two. She also has a fabulous read up on today.


Please welcome to the show, Jessica, pal. So excited. I love the show. Oh, they were so flattered. We love the magazine. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you guys for having me. This is so exciting. It's so exciting for us to. We are not thrilled to have you. Where are you coming to us from?


I'm here in New York City. I'm holding down the fort. I never left. I don't think I've ever going to leave.


The weird thing is that I can actually see my office from my window. So that's a we sort of stare each other down all the time and say to each other someday. So, yeah, here in Manhattan, you're like, I'm always watching you.


Just see you guys. Now, I have to ask you, is this is it like when you were like a little girl or even like a teenager, did you ever dream that you would be the editor of Cosmo? Was it like a dream for you? It was my dream.


So just like I'm asking, like, how is it, like, surreal to you or.


Yeah, I mean, it's fully surreal. I once I started working in magazines, I was like, oh, I definitely want to be an editor in chief because, you know, I think there's this thing that not enough women say, which is I want it to be in charge. And I think it's OK for women to say that and that we should that know seeking a leadership position is a good thing and we need more of us in in top jobs.


So it started early on when I worked in magazines. But before that, when I was in eighth grade science class at Dickason Middle School in Georgia, there was a girl in my class who said to me she was like, you know what? Someday you're going to be a magazine editor in New York City out of the blue. And I was like, OK, I have no idea why you're saying that. But turns out she was, I guess, the psychic.


So here we are. That is incredible. I just I love that story. And I cannot resonate with I want to be in charge enough. I knew very early on in my adult working life that I could not have a boss, that I needed to be the boss and it was not going to work for me. So I just I love that we're kicking it off with that. And also, we love a psychic medium, so let us know her name by hook you.


I will hook you up.


But, you know, I was I was watching some interviews with you, too, when I was reading about your history and your background. It does seem that you were like really singularly focused and you just went from, like, amazing position to amazing position and you achieved so much success at such a young age. I want all your Georgias back. And what's up, George?


Virge, my dog just wandering around like he's the one in charge. Yeah, he's in charge for sure. We know how those house. That's right. That's right.


I just. I'm sorry. I believe you were saying flattering things. I do.


I really I liked your I liked reading your history in interviews about just how you really you were like, this is what I'm going to do and I'm going to just climb the ladder and all these incredible plays. And you've worked at and Marie Claire, I mean, like an incredible work history to get to where you are.


You think you it's it's really helpful being in the position I am now to have had so much experience with other brands in this space and to have a really good sense of their perspective and what makes us different from each other and what their strategies are like. So, you know, I'm always I'm just stealing intel everywhere. I could go deeper than the next place. So we're here. We're going to talk about the survey. I have two more questions before we start.


Do you talk about your relationship status? Can we know that or is that private?


I typically don't talk about my relationship status. I have an amazing boyfriend, and that's all I want to know.


If you were in a relationship or a single. Yeah, yeah.


OK, so and then next question. I'm blushing. I don't know if you can see me absolutely blushing over here. No, thank you for sharing that with us. Porcelain skin. And we do like to ask you both these. Are you dating? Are you having sex? And you are in New York, which we. And from Georgia, what's your last question? This is like such an amateur question, but do you have you watched the bold type?


Yes, in fact, I have watched every single episode of OK. And so you're a fan. I am. I love the show so much. And then we love it, too. It's probably one of my favorite shows I've ever seen, but I just thought it was so interesting how they had that narrator for the first season. And I think some people watch the show were like, who was this British woman that's narrating the show? And I ended up looking it up and it was the editor of Cosmo, right?


Yes. My predecessor, she is inimitable. She's incredible. And yeah, she was the creator of the show. And so she narrated at the beginning, which I thought was a cool little detail. I loved it, too. But I think the average person was like, I don't get it. I like it. Looked it up. OK, I'm done. I'm ready to get into the topic. Great question.


Do we love talking about the bold type anyways? Need to know you are here today to talk about this unbelievable study by the Kinsey Institute about the future of sex and dating. And Ashley and I were joking. Made our own predictions of the future of sex dating exactly one year ago, like 10 days of the pandemic. Ashton, I thought we knew everything about the future sex and dating guys.


We've been inside for ten days world how naive we were. I can't believe no one's had sex with me for ten days, but we want to hear about it. I want to be here about how it came to be. And then we're going to sort of break down a couple of different topics with you.


And I think, honestly, we I we should listen back. We should have done our own research on our own show. But I think we did feel like people would have would not take for granted human connection as much. I think overall we felt like people would start to gravitate or they would just appreciate their connections and the human connection more so. But, yeah, this this study was incredible. And we just want to hear you talk about it and your expertise.


I have to give you props because your instincts were more spot on than mine were. My my instincts were that there would be a sort of like bloodbath of breakups and divorces that so many couples who were on, how shall I say, not deeply in love, end of the spectrum would feel that this was a breaking point. And I also thought that post covid, which of course we have not yet fully entered, but we see the light at the end of the tunnel.


I thought post covid would be like a bacchanalia of just the free for all of of singles screwing anything that moves. And the data proved both of those instincts to be wrong, which which I thought was really interesting. And the main point, the main thrust really is that people are much more interested in commitment than they were before. And I think it sounds like that's exactly what you thought at the beginning of all this. Well, we thought we did also say that if covid broke you up, then you weren't meant to be.


So people clearly broke up. They weren't ready to take that step. I think people moved in quicker than they probably should have. But we ultimately felt like that was because that wasn't a match to begin with. We also saw people that were kind of forced to be together that have like, thrived, you know what I mean? I almost like we know a couple that she was hesitant to even move in with him. And now they live in Virginia, like on a farm together, and they're like, amazing.


So I think we heard people saying, like, covid broke us up. And it's like I don't think so. I think there was an external factor that would have been something different down six months down the road. So, yeah. Yeah. My last prediction, I think, was that people word going to go buck wild, having sex with everything.


We don't mind when the curve ball of this whole study to me was that people do want to go buck wild and they want to do it with a committed partner. Right. They want to get freakier. But I'm sorry, I'm getting to I want to talk about existing couples and sex. But excuse me, can you give us, like, a two sentence like synopsis or, you know, with my sentences you want you're in charge of like what the study was, where it was done, like what the Kinsey Institute is.


Yeah, of course, the Kinsey Institute is a famed institution that focuses on sex.


I think the biggest touch point the average American probably has with Kinsey's work is the the scale of sexuality. I think there's a relatively common awareness of the fact that according to them, there isn't binary sexuality. It's not that you're straight or gay, it's that there's the spectrum and all people are somewhere on the spectrum, maybe at one poll, but maybe also more towards the middle. And so they are a very famous and important group of scientists and researchers that we respect a lot and work with often.


We also wanted to tap our buddies at our brother brand, Esquire, to make sure that the. View is represented here and that and that we got dude voices as well, so it's a partnership between Cosmo, Esquire and Kinsey, which I wish we could have a dinner party, because I feel like that would be so interesting. But we surveyed a little bit over two thousand Americans between the ages of 18 and forty five across a sort of a demographic sweep that matches the census data.


So it's it's nationally representative data is how we how we talk about it. OK, also, we will be at the dinner party if you want to do Kinsey. Fantastic. Cosmo, Esquire. Girls gotta eat your little here. They want to see how sexually homosexual or heterosexual I am. All right. So let's talk about the study. So we want to talk about the future dating, sex, but let's talk about maybe briefly, like what this did, what the pandemic did for existing couples.


Did people break up? Did people get divorced? People recommend to their partners? Like, what did it do?


Yeah. So so despite what what some of us might have thought about breakups and divorces, it turns out that people in couples quarantine couples together actually got closer and actually got happier. Our friends that Esquire pointed out, one of this one of the stats from the survey to us, which was that sixty nine point sixty nine percent of men in Dari say we can't live without middle school kids.


And so we mature sometimes. But, you know. Sixty nine percent of men report more affection towards their partners than they did before covid, which is like warm and fuzzy and just really sweet. And interestingly, quarantine couples report that they are having better sex now than they were before, which is also really interesting because, you know, the cultural narrative before that is that monogamy creates monotony and like you slip into old patterns and it's hard to keep things fresh, which may have been true, but seems to no longer be the case.


It's really interesting. Quarantine sort of made the the couples, the committed couples really acutely aware of what it takes to keep things interesting. And then it made the singles among us experienced enough at satisfying ourselves that the bar for future future partners is higher than it was before, which we can we can get to. But yeah, couples are happier and having better sex. And really, interestingly, you know, there are some people who confessed to us that they had fantasized about breaking up.


They had fantasized about leaving their partner. But of those people, only two percent of them planned to actually do it. So, again, I really think that we're we're not going to see this big bloodbath of breakups, which is nice. Yeah, and that was something that we tackled early on as well, was how to keep that spark going while you expect especially what it was like the height of it when it was like you weren't even going to dine outside or anything like that.


So it sounds like a lot of people figured that out. And we we had a couple or girl that message us. This was something we said at our live show or her and her boyfriend both got covid and lost their sense of taste and smell.


And they were trying a whole lot of freaky sex so that the silver lining, we don't want the details but go off.


So I just I love that we were if you were stuck in a house with somebody, why not experiment? Figure out what you want. The bedroom. Yeah, especially if you stick your nose in someone. But, you know, now's your chance. No better time. Yeah, well, this is a good time.


Just to take a quick break, just to talk about our other partners to this episode, and then we will get right back into it. We have some fun.


While I'm really nervous, I never do the first aderet. I'm going to be OK. I have to take the leap. We're talking about trough. I am talking about trough is the first read. This is in your partner. And I could not be more excited to partner with them because I have been eating hot sauce on so many things for years. It is the first of its kind, a luxury hot sauce with an ultra unique blend of real black troubles and spice.


Let me tell you guys, the packaging is beautiful I'm going to tell you about. They have such a wide range of product. They have trouble, mayonaise, trouble, spicy mayonnaise. They have pasta sauce with troubles in it. And of course, their leader, hot sauce, they have hot sauce and hot sauce. I know what you're thinking. And I thought the same thing. Do I need truffles in my hot sauce? Yes, you do.


It's a little bit of sweetness. It's not too, too, too spicy. I've been putting it on everything. I love it on eggs. I love it as a source for dumplings. I've been putting out sandwiches. I even put hot sauce in a lentil soup that I was cooking the other day. And you love it. Yeah. And like anything, I mean all I put it on all my meals, I cook like the bebop. I'm going to it.


Right. The Big Mac. I just love like a rice dish like that, like I love any sort of like rice noodle dish like I've been using and everything, and then I am obsessed with the pasta. So I just didn't have a meal plan the other night and I just went and got some, like, cheese tortellinis from the market and then just did that with my pasta sauce and was like a delicious meal, a little parmesan sprinkle on top, like I'm obsessed.


I was so glad I gave that to you because I had a bunch of it in my fridge and I gave it to you had so but it's so unique and different. I love the viscosity of it as well. It's nice thick. I love a thick hot sauce. So it really does go on things that can be mixed into things. Yeah, I would mix it into rice or mixed into pasta. I think it's really fantastic. There's all kinds of black trouble, hot sauce and white trouble hot sauce.


Oh my God, I forgot what happened. There is nothing better in this world. There is nothing I've ever in my life tasted better.


This is really dramatic. I'm sorry. Then truffle hot sauce on chicken tenders.


Oh, go on. Are you going to win some chicken tenders dipping that like you will not find a better snack than that? No, it's a meal. I love your meal. Mainlining chicken tenders and truffle. Sounds like it's a between the meals snack meal. They also travel mayonnaise, which I also cannot recommend enough with Ashley's mid meal snack of chicken fingers and French fries. And then finally, the packaging is so, so beautiful. There's a foodie in your life.


Absolutely the best thing you can send them. And we're going to give you guys a discount per usual. You get fifteen percent off site wide plus free shipping with promo code JGI at That's fifteen percent off, plus free shipping on everything. Visit ti. Are you at FSN. Fantastic dotcom and use the promo code jgi. Check it out. You're going to love it. Also forgot to mention it is vegan, gluten free and non GMOs.


So get in there. Even Oprah named to one of her favorite things the last two years in a row. What? Really bury the lead on that one. What? What?


OK, so since a lot of you guys have been asking about what we eat for snacks, you've also been asking about our skincare routine. I am telling you guys about part of mine, which is Rori. And you guys know the importance of taking care of your skin, whatever you're worried about, whether it's fine lines or aging, acne, redness, dullness, all the things they are really going help you find the right treatment. It's a digital health clinic for your skin care.


You just get online, take a little quiz to send them a photo of your face so they can really assess it and they will connect you with a health care professional online and see a personalized prescription. Skin care treatment is right for you all from the comfort of your own home. So you're just going to go on there and do the consultation and then you'll hear back from a US licensed health care professional within twenty four hours. If appropriate, they'll prescribe a personalized skincare treatment plan that works just for you and your skin.


So you don't go to a pharmacy, you don't go to a dermatologist. It's going to be delivered right through to a free two day shipping and it's going to be designed for you. So my skin care issue is just I have dry skin. Obviously, aging is something that's always on my mind and fine line. So they prescribed me this night Sarum. I just wash my face. I have a vitamin C cleanser and then I use this and then I do my nighttime moisturizer.


And that is part of my nighttime skin care routine and I've been loving it. I feel like my skin looks smoother and overall better. I've never looked better, honestly.


And and you can follow up with the health care professional anytime you need to make a change or treatment or you have questions. They're there with you every step of the way, which is really nice. And there are also no commitments you can cancel any time. So go to Hello Rory Dotcom. Agree to trial nightly defense for just five dollars. It's free to chat with the doctor in your first order is just five dollars. That's hello outroar Siggie eligibility requirements and additional terms apply.


OK, all right. Let's get back into it with Jessica. Well, that maybe is like a good Segway into the future sex because it sounds like people took this opportunity to get a little free here.


They did indeed. So like a solid half of our respondents said that they have already been engaging in more experimentation than they were before covid. And that means watching porn together, playing with toys together, mutual masturbation play, talking about fantasies, half of our respondents. That's a huge number. And especially considering that those people were not as experimental before this. And so I think that's that's really cool. It will surprise No. One that the pandemic saw a huge spike in sex toy purchases across the country.


Lelo is is a fantastic sex toy company that we like a lot here at Cosmo. And they saw a two hundred and fifty percent spike in sales. So that's good news all around where pleasure is always a good thing. Yeah, it's like Peladon and dildoes for like like two hundred percent wasn't Pelton's like they went up by like two hundred percent to like it was just Zoome and vice versa. I don't know if the subject and I don't know if the study differentiated and I read some things but I would love to give you, you have to give them more depth.


So people were saying within committed relationships, they being more experimental or with strangers or with new people, how does it like delineate? So yeah. So I mean, of course the thing about lockdown is that the data that we collected from people is data that we collected from couples that represented what they've been doing together during quarantine. But for singles, it's all sort of perspective. Right, though. So the couples reported to us that they have been experimenting more together during quarantine.


The singles reported to us that the quarantine is over. They plan to get more experimental. But I love the way you said this earlier. It's absolutely correct that the plan is not to screw anything that moves. It's more to find a committed relationship and then be experimental within those parameters. I mean, that said, it is worth noting that a fifth a fifth of our respondents said that they are interested in pursuing an open relationship in the future, which, you know, monogamy, which is a concept that has been around for a while and and I think will be explored more deeply.


Postcode in. But yeah, more experiment experimentation in general across singles and people who are already committed. I love that too, because I think that we just I mean, New Yorkers, but everybody if we're just always so busy and on the go this way, people slow down, you know, like I'm sure there are so many people that never even thought to experiment. Think about what they really want in the bedroom. Maybe they did listen to a podcast or they just read an article.


You just having more time to slow down and think about that. And that you say that we talked to one of the experts, we talked to you for our piece, had this great point about the fact that, like. Culture in the past has been, or at least in the recent past, has been so focused on the act of hooking up that a lot of people in those situations are not necessarily focusing on the quality of the experience so much as they are in the fact that they're having the experience at all.


And that's that's a point that we make in the piece, is that it really seems like post covid people are sort of trading up from the idea of getting some to like getting something really good, which I think is really interesting. And you see people slowing down. That is absolutely a trend that we're going to see. People reported to us that they want to take more time before they meet someone in person. Seventy percent of our respondents said that they plan to keep video dating even after covid.


I thought we'd all be sick of these platforms, but there are really effective way to vet people and to see if you have a connection and and if if you're sort of feeling each other. And so a lot of our respondents plan to continue to get dates that way, take longer to decide to meet someone in person once they do meet someone in person, take longer to decide if they want to actually have sex. So taking a longer amount of time to make the right choice as opposed to like a bunch of random choices is definitely something that we're going to see.




And something that I loved in the article is that it's sad. Like just because you happen to show up on a date doesn't mean that you're going to have sex with the person because I'm just there and that most people reporting that's not something or a lot of people are of that. I'm not just going to screw a person just because, like, I put on clothing, I got out of the apartment and I loved this discussion of the rise of waiting longer to have sex and only wanting less sex partners.


So being a little more committed to having one sexual partner, which can happen. I think if you wait a little bit longer, I do think a part of it is health related, like part of the job of a brand like mine is to drill into people that sex does carry with it some health risk if you don't protect yourself the smart way. And we've been beating that drum for decades now. But the thing is that it's no longer just that the concern about sex is STIs or unwanted pregnancy.


Now it's also covid. And so we did see that our respondents are going to be much more cautious about sex from a health perspective. Forty two percent of them told us that they are more likely to outright ask a partner about their covid status than they thought they would be. I would be more worried than ABS like what I was going on. States like not the height of Cold War in the fall, like it was always talked about. Right.


And I just like, what have you been doing and how have you been living? And I mean, that was pretty boxy. Now we can just be ask if you're vaccinated or not. But that's right. It's funny, actually. One of my best friends is she's dating on the apps and I guess this was like a month or two ago. But she on the on a group chat, she was like, guys, the apps are suddenly flooded with doctors who have all recently been vaccinated.


And they are like fear to date. And it's just like, well, it's kind of funny. Like the people that are people that may have gotten a vaccine early, like they had a leg up. So it's like maybe a guy that's not attractive, used to be that he's funny or he's rich and now it's like he's got the vaccine. Like, I feel like people are like using it as they're like we were seeing that an exploding profile picture.


There's like like eight weeks that you can use this because we're all going to get vaccinated, like two months that you can, like, put your like your vaccine deck on the table, figuratively, theoretically.


But another thing that, like, really resonated to me because, I mean, I was having almost no sex during the pandemic. I was single and I lived in New York by myself. What does that look for?


Having a little more than the average person or an intimacy?


You hook up with one guest for the show and and your neighbor, Brina, you did a good job. My boss might be my neighbor. But listen, let me tell you, it is hard to go somebody in your own building during a pandemic.


And I did it for you. I'm impressed.


I think of people and it resonated with me because I was like, oh, yeah, me too. When I read that people realize they can have sex, right. Everybody's having sex during the pandemic. And I think that you realize like, well, now that I can have more sex more safely, I still don't need to do it with all these people like I can be. I tested it. I'm going to be fine if I wait a little while to find somebody that this is going to be safe, pleasurable, enjoyable.


I see a future with or don't you don't see a future with every person you sleep with. I didn't my neighbor, which which they now they have learned the hard way, but no one of our experts made that point as well, which is great. Which is that like something that the pandemic did teach those of us who are not in committed relationships or are quarantined alone. Is that like the world is not going to end just because we're not having.


Static's, it sort of showed people how much longer they can go without sex than maybe they thought before or or put more pressure, not more pressure, but put our focus, I should say, on self pleasure, self stimulation. And that I think in a way, one of the things I'm happy to see come out of covid is that by virtue of necessity, if nothing else, it really did destigmatize masturbation go off. Yeah, I don't know that men needed that as much as women did.


You know, like masturbating for men is not really a stigma at all. But but it's still for women. It still carries the weight of taboo, which is ridiculous, of course. And I think covid has helped us of that a little bit. I agree. I love that you said that we talk about this a lot of just the how it's changed. I mean, we always say even in the last five years, but especially now, covid has made it even less stigmatized.


We said that in our episode. Now I'm just remembering that women are going to be fine, like we've all gone along, like it's the men that are like so fuelled by sex and they just have the flexibility new every every other weekend that are going to start to go a little crazy. But I think the thing I love the absolute most in the study was the decline of the one night stand. And it spoke to me so much because I've had so many one night stands in my life and, you know, they're funny and they're good stories.


And I really was like I've always been really sexually open. And I, I always love to feel like I got laid last night. You know, I was younger in my twenties, in college and stuff, and but none of those experiences were that great. They weren't I didn't feel a super intimate connection to a partner that I met at a bar. And I think if we really dig deep, like we don't really love the one night stand and that's coming from someone that's had so many of them and ran.


And I talked about this because we're like there's always a time and a place who doesn't love that great vacation story or whatever. This is a really fun thing. And you can have good sex on a one night stand, but I don't really want them anymore. I have been recently it kind of like fucked me up for a couple of days. I and talk to the guy and I'm not saying that I you need to have a boyfriend or a committed relationship, but I like that someone knows you a little bit.


I like that you're going to hear from them the next day. You know, I think that all these things lend us to a being more comfortable in the bedroom and thus being able to open up and have better sex, but be just feeling overall respected. You know, I just don't I love that those could be on the decline because I don't really think they serve most people if they really aren't being true to themselves.


Yeah, it's interesting. It's all it's all sort of tied up in empowerment. Right. Like the pill. Not to get all scientific, but but the pill created a world in which women could engage in casual sex the way men had been able to engage in casual sex. Right. So that level the playing field, so to speak. And I sort of see the rise of the one night stand as as the 1.0 version of us exercising sexual empowerment in that in that certain context.


And the 2.0 is. Yeah, I can get it. Maybe I want to get it good. Maybe I want to to be better and to be even just not even I'm not even necessarily talking about emotional depth though of course that's very important. But even just sexual understanding, sex with a partner who is invested in pleasing your particular body and vice versa is arguably better sex than with someone who doesn't know and doesn't care. So, yeah, I really do see that as an interesting evolution.


That feels right. Yeah. And I think we've all had sex with those people that don't care about your pleasure. They're there for their pleasure. When they finish, the sexual experience is over. And I think everybody on the show, this show knows me as somebody who really likes dirty talk and I want to try freakier things, but I don't like that with a person that I don't care at all about. I mean, yes, like she said, vacation, sex.




I'll do some weird stuff on vacation out of the different Condit or you don't even know what Raina does in the country. I mean, if I have used a passport to go somewhere, you can spit in my mouth.


But that's my favorite quote you ever said.


Oh, my God, you were holding my hand. Once you get the vaccine passport, it's over for everybody. Use global entry. Yeah, you can you could do anything you like, anybody you enter. But I mean, I joke around about like that. I like dirty talk about. I called names in the bedroom but I don't like it with a stranger and I like it with somebody that I'm going to like hang out with in bed and then go to brunch with, like, I don't really enjoy that.


I don't get off as much from it. And I'm glad that, like like you said, the first sort of like wave of empowerment was women saying, OK, I can do this, I can enjoy this, I can go out, I can act like a man. But now it's sort of like now I get to enjoy this a little more. And I think the. It's really simple and have higher standards for it, like we get to say, I have higher standards for this experience and I mean, really, in a way what we're talking about is intimacy.


And I think that has been a huge learning of covid. And and what I think is behind the drive towards commitment and the drive away from one night stands and even the drive towards experimentation, which is that like experimentation with someone that you are committed to, which is really that, you know, covid taught us that like a the world can be a really scary place.


And when the shit really hits the fan, I think we all have a better sense now of what we as individuals need emotionally and and just as people in these situations than we did before. I don't know about you, but I have never lived through a global pandemic before. And so I did not know what I would need and I learned what I needed. And I think a lot of a lot of people have come around to the idea of needing companionship and needing emotional support.


And I kind of feel like in an earlier draft of the piece, which was later edited, I had added in an idea about how this is sort of like the mushy generation, like we're going to be the mushy generation. And I love that because it really does feel like maybe the past couple of decades were about prioritizing emotion so that we could prioritize freedom and empowerment. But there's nothing wrong with wanting an emotional experience in the bedroom and wanting emotional support from your sexual partner.


And I really think that is what is coming to the fore here.


We grew up with emo rock, like of course, like we're emo as far as I know what you're the generation that grew up with being told, like play games with men. Don't act like you have feelings, like you don't want to make them chase. You never lean into feeling. And I think that that's been hammered to us like men love bitches play hard to get. And I mean, I don't know if that's changing or what. I think that's what I feel like.


We've been deconstructing that for a while. And I just I like this notion of like, it's OK to want commitment. It's OK to be honest about it, be open about it. That doesn't mean you're foregoing other things. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it's it's sort of level set us all men, women and anyone who identifies anyway it's level set us all at a certain level of fragility, which is ultimately I think a good thing that we can see it and be honest about it.


We can identify it and each other. I think that can only only do good things for future relationships, but also just future sexual situations, future hookups, then. Yeah, I think you guys even said the it was like a chart that was like what's out and what's it? And it said like when I and then like three nights ago, which is I just love that, like there's guys that I've had in all my life. We've got a few dates.


We've had sex three times. That's great. I look back on it as a positive experience. We got to a good place. Actually, we knew what not to appoint. You'd have with a long term partner, but we knew enough. We like there was mutual respect and intimacy there, even after having sex like three times. But I yeah, I just don't I mean, and I think our audience knows exactly what we think. We can go out and do whatever you want.


Fuck a different guy every night of the week safely please. But like I personally am kind of passed out. I had a one night stand not too long ago, like I said, and like I just said, never talk to the guy again. And I just the next day was like, I can't believe I let that guy choke me. Like, what the fuck? Like, I should like me. Like, I give that guy a first date from it.


I've got to see me naked and know what I like in bed. And I just didn't like it. And I was like, I think this is the end for me. I mean, all around the country, yes, I'll do some pretty shit. But I, I have changed personally. So but again, that's all that's that's the through line of this entire thing for us is that people are so much more interested in and committed to the pursuit of their unique satisfaction, their unique feelings of security and happiness.


And like I think for a lot of people that has meant, oh, wait, the one night stand does not necessarily work for me like I thought I did. And like you said, the fact that people may have engaged in more, but maybe even just figured out what pleasures them like maybe some of the younger woman just really got into masturbation for the first time during the pandemic. Like they're going to be like, no, no, no, I have a vibrator waiting at home.


Chad, you have no idea what you're doing and go, oh, I'm going to go with my vibrator and get off better so I can shut this down. I had to pop off.


And I think that's the most exciting thing about this whole study, is that what has happened is that people are more committed to commitment but also committed to being freakier and being exploratory. And I think sometimes some people have looked at that, that when. You become intimate and comfortable, somebody's long term, the sex goes away, the experimentation goes away, and it sounds like we're going to marry these things together. And I think that's so exciting. Me, too.


I mean, covid has done a lot of really shitty things to our world, obviously. But it is it is nice to see that there could be some really long term positive results for relationships and dating. And one thing I saw that I loved is that half of hinge users admitted that they used this time to, like, be less shitty at being in relationships. They decided to, like, break the habit of ghosting and break the habit of playing games.


And it sort of feels like everyone is trying to make themselves singles or trying to make themselves more committable people. And I really do, you know, to to to bring it back full circle. I really do feel like what this all comes down to is the pursuit of doing right by yourself. And like admitting whether you are a woman who has been told that casual sex is is empowering or whether you're a man who has been told that having feelings is lame, doing right by yourself means saying it's OK for me to have emotional needs and I need someone next to me at home every day to help me deal with them.


Or it's OK that, as you said, that that a one night stand just doesn't quite it may do it for me on some level, but it doesn't do it for me on enough levels to be worth it. Yeah. And I love that you said people are just less shitty. I mean, and that obviously doesn't apply to everybody. People may have gotten what I think we've seen people get more shitty that we're not going to go down that road.


But I think a lot of people, people that were decent people to start with have gotten more compassionate. And they have learned a lot. You know, like we did a whole episode last week about the micro aggressions and the things that men say on the ABS to women of color. And I think that it doesn't necessarily mean that all those guys are terrible, awful people, that they may have learned things throughout this last year when a lot has come to light and they may not ever act like that again because now they know better.


And so hopefully that people kind of became more understanding, more compassionate throughout this. That will continue and that will translate into dating. So I certainly hope so.


And I've been on a similar journey. I think I think in this process I have learned that I wasn't as good as I thought in the past and putting myself in other people's shoes and being really aware and sensitive, aware of and sensitive to the experiences of people who don't look like me or don't live like me or have different belief systems than I do. And that has been such an incredible, important, difficult, but very worth it journey. And now I'm sorry.


I feel like I'm getting very bad on this. We should all we should all admit that we should all admit, like I have learned a lot, I wasn't as and if you had educated or as compassionate as I maybe a thought I was or maybe I wasn't as empathetic or understanding as I thought I was. And if you were open during this past year, you have learned a whole lot. I think we all did a lot more like learning sitting at home.


All my hobbies were castrated. I couldn't do any of them. So, you know, if you weren't at home reading, listening to other people, having longer conversations, thinking more about your words and how they affect people, I don't know what you spent the pandemic doing, but I had nothing else to do besides become a better person and listen to how hopefully listening to how other people are living. We just saw a lot of pain and we still are.


It's I feel like I've never seen more that I'm seeing right now, like in this week. So I think that people just hopefully paid attention and got outside of themselves. And to this point, I feel like it's worth saying that all of this information about the trends that we are seeing and will see post covid. I want to be super clear that none of that comes with judgement attached to it, like I am all for casual sex, but that's who we are.


Do whatever you want. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I don't think that anybody wants to judge. That's the whole thing. But let's talk about that. You know, I think there is this narrative of like Shock Girl Summer. We're going to be out making out in the streets like it's going to be St. Mark's is going to be Bourbon Street every weekend like I did. You see those types of answers, too, like as like, oh, I'm just going to know.


It's just Ashley.


Actually, Ashley is going to be girls. No, I'm just going to do this with all the twenty five year old Mark's catch me outside.


I mean I do we a people absolutely are myself included going to be out there living it up in general like it's nineteen ninety nine. I think what we. Was that the desire to get out there and let loose with not focus on facts, but rather was about being friends and engaging with people and traveling and experiencing the world again, which is nice, but I really do. You guys remember the suit, the supply ad that came out about a month ago?


Oh, it was photographs. It's a suiting company. And they came out with an ad campaign of photographs of people just like really grotesquely making looking faces. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. And it was something like this is our new whatever. And the funny thing is that I came out while we were shipping this this year and while we were working on this story and over at Cosmo, we were like, no, no. I think it's just so funny.


Like how people are going to get their kicks is like sitting inside a restaurant with friends. Like it's just like we've so much has been taken from us. So, like, we don't need to be like it on the street, that we just want to go to a comedy club and laugh with our friends. I mean, Los Angeles, I think I don't think some people are like I just wonder, like, I don't know. I feel like when it when it's really over, when it's really like we're told that I think we're still going to be wearing masks for a while.


But when we're really kind of out of the woods and I don't know, I wonder if people will just want to be closer to people. I'm not saying even like penetration, but just naturally, like touch your you're kind of like, are you going to hug me more? I'm not going to hug anybody. Hug me. Like two weeks ago, once I was like I was like, do you want to hug now or something? But I just wonder if you're going to feel a little more like electric energy because it's just you've been messing it, not that like let's go home and fuck, but I just wonder if people are going to be flirty or touchy or just naturally want to be closer physically, I guess.


I don't know. I think it's funny that I asked. I was like, OK, so tell me about the people that are going to be just fucking in the street like they don't have that shitty right silently.


Like, actually don't even finish the sentence. I mean, also and I don't know if you I mean, we could be this forever. We're just trying to get you to say yes. I think it depends on your age. Right. Like college kids will be college kids or people that don't ever want to settle down are never going to settle down. Yeah, I mean, all of this is directional, right? And it doesn't none of it applies to everyone on the whole.


And to your point about college kids, you know, a lot of college kids who entered college at this time, they don't know what real a real college. I know you feel like that's going to be a whole. Yeah, they will get there. I have a feeling they will make up for lost time by it, but definitely, yeah, there will definitely be people who who really let loose. And I don't know if you guys saw the news today about Cuomo legalizing weed for New York.


Yeah, well, he's trying to get that fourth term.


Let's be honest. It was like making a tax. What do you want to smoke? Weed. I got to get vote. Yes, I'm already dead. I'm not hundreds. Just come over. Sorry we hijacked you, but no, I hadn't seen that, you know. Yeah.


So just today, it's effective immediately. And so between that and the end of covid, it's going to be let's hope it's the most fun summer of our life.


I got so funny that I was like, what can I do? Can I give you a free ice cream? That was for today. I thought, OK, so I thought I didn't mind that I thought it was going to be in three months.


So today he just said, like, stock the waiting period. We're just going to do it. Well, he's a bully and he signed it. Was there any last like like blew you away about this study? Anything else shook you to your core, surprised you or or just not anything?


We didn't discuss it, to be honest. I just found it so reassuring that, you know, people are more in touch with and more open about their emotional needs, which just sounds so unsexy to talk about. So I apologize for that. But actually, to me, when I'm looking for someone, that's a touch of their emotional needs.


Jeez, that's my porn category. It's a sign of maturity. And I think in the past, I think that's just come with age. But in a way, it feels like covid has set us all up to a certain point. And and that's really nice.


We actually all hug me more than once a month. Once I'm fully vaccinated, I guess maybe I'll touch people more, but probably not that well. It was really such a pleasure unpacking this to do. Can you tell us which article I mean, but tell everybody which Esquire and Cosmo. It's the current one where this is right. In fact, I can. So it's in our April issue with the weed on the cover. Hold on a sec.


You got this says snack awards on it. It's like our brand, like our we call our listener snacks and we love sweetie, obviously. Is this like the best issue. Oh, my gosh. Ever.


Oh, of course it is. Yes. We just launched. Launched a whole new snacker, words where we're telling you the best next. So, yes, I should have had you as a guest judge. I'm so sorry. I didn't think about that. But now we're on your radar. The episode recalled the episode. Also, we open all of our shows. Sweetie. Oh, my God. Yeah, all of our live shows. I actually put it in.


Well, we actually we had the our last show. We had the L.A. Rams cheerleaders open the show. We had this huge theater show and the Rams cheerleaders opened. And the coach remember, she texted me and she goes, hey, would you guys maybe want sweetie to perform? We were like, bitch, what? When it didn't work out, we was busy. But she was like she was like, we love sweetie. She's like she does stuff with us.


We'd like we'll try to get her for the show. And I've never been so bluebottle to my life because we weren't able to get her. But we dream we were close.


So maybe she's amazing. She's so amazing. I love this photo of her. She's so cool. And also her interview. I have to highly recommend it if you like her music. But but also if you don't, because she is so open and honest about the fact that some of her some of what she's good at now did not come naturally to her. She was bad at it before. And she had to, like, teach herself and work hard and and actively acquire skills that she didn't already have.


And back at the beginning of this, I said more women need to say, you know, it needs to be OK for a woman to say, I want to be in charge. I think in the same way, it needs to be OK for people in general to say, I had to teach myself this thing because it didn't come naturally and it was actually really hard work. You know, love that message. I love that. She's just so great.


I mean, I've always been a fan of the music, but I've done a little bit deeper recently with the breakup and how she handled it. I thought she handled it so beautifully. And I saw some tweet that someone tried to call her like, that's not the kind of girl you bring home to dinner or something. And I might add, Chrissy Teigen, somebody clapped back and was like, you know, she's a communications degree from USC or something like, what the fuck are you talking about?


I just I love it. She's just this like. Yes, brilliant, beautiful, talented. I'm like, how is that a real person? So I love that she's on the cover. Totally agree. And I will say sort of funny thing is that we broke this cover after her breakup just a couple of days after her breakup, and we put it online and a lot of people were like, oh my God, after the breakup, she looks so good, like good for her and I love that for her.


But also, like we shot this a long time.


Magazines work. It is so like somebody will say to us on Monday, I can't believe you did address this thing that happened like on Sunday will be like, do you have this show? If it does, we can live breaking news on people. Just they see what they want. Like, of course, they they knew she broke up. They saw a picture and they were like, damn, she's got that break a body. And you're like, I don't know if you guys know magazines work, but I wish we could do shoots that fast, to be honest with you.


But OK, well, we have derailed you because we became Star Wars. All right. So April, April, why don't you wait? What's wrong with me? The April issue of Cosmo Guy. Yeah, I guess you don't know exactly that full of issues. And I'm like, what is that word? OK, April issue, Cosmo. I could follow Cosmo. Where else can they find you?


Oh, I am on Instagram and Twitter. It's just the cut underscored Pelz and I do post like dog pictures. I just going to only come if you're there for the dog contact. Yeah. I was like, are we talking George? Is George on there? That's right. That's right. George Pels. I love to see it. This was such a pleasure. You really are so wonderful really. So you can't wait for everybody. Hear the interview.


Thank you. This was great. Really. Thanks Jessica. Thanks Jessica. Thanks tocsin. Bye. And you guys know where to find us. Girls Godi podcast dotcom at Girl's Got to Eat podcast and Instagram. I'm on Instagram Reyna's Ranaghat Greenberg Girls underscore got it on Twitter and YouTube. Dotcom slash girl's got to eat. We will see you guys in Florida in just a few short weeks so get those tickets at our website and we'll see you next week.


Have a good week I.