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Hank, the catalog's presented by Igby, just like Hank, HCB was born in Texas and has been proudly serving Texas family since 1985, no store does more than AGB. QR code and HTC Present Hank the Cat on starring and produced by Matthew McConaughey, written and directed by Jeff Nichols for the latest of Hank The Count On, subscribe to the show wherever you find your favorite podcast. You can also learn more at Kyouko Media dot com or by following at Kyouko Media.
It's me again, take the call, though. It was your typical spring day. Nothing out of the ordinary, calm, bright, a little on the warmer side, the air full of cotton from the cottonwood trees myself.
I was up in the machine, shed hard at work sleeping with this interloper. And Sallie Mae had left the ranch the day before on a mysterious trip to a place called Hospital.
I made the decision to double up on night patrol, which meant I needed to double up on sleep beside sidekick drover, a smallish breed and both sides.
And mine was over by the water, well engaged in a meaningless conversation with J.T. Cluck the head. I come here and look at this thing and tell us what it is.
I know that's a rooster drover. No, I mean this down here. Well, that's dirt drover. That's just common ordinary dirt.
Yeah, I know, but is that some kind of track in the dirt. Oh.
Drover, where did you find this track? Well, it was right there, yeah, yeah, yeah, right there in the dirt that checks out. Who else knows about this? Just me and JT again. Question is anyone or anything passed by here in the last hour?
Well, just me and JT and a fly. A big noisy fly.
And therefore, you think the fly left is to your track, is what you're saying. Well, nice try, Drover.
I saw the alleged fly and I know he was big, but not big enough to leave tracks like this.
Well, I don't want to alarm anyone, but I should point out that this is one of the biggest tracks I have ever seen.
Yeah, I know.
That's just what J.T. said when he found out. He thought maybe it was a bobcat. No one.
JT did not find this track. I did. Number two, you should disregard anything JT might have said about this year track because chickens don't know beans about tracks. Number three, we haven't seen a bobcat on this ranch in years. Number four, this track was made by an exceptionally large raccoon. Number five, I'm betting so said Raccoon is still hiding on the ranch. And number six, our primary mission on tonight's patrol will be to search him out and throw him off the place before he gets into some serious mischief.
You may exactly prepare for combat, drover. Catch all the sleep you can between now and dark. I got a feeling we're going to need. I thank. Sure doesn't look like a recontract to me. At precisely twenty one hundred hours, I awakened Drover and we began what turned out to be one of the most dangerous patrols of my career.
It began in a fairly routine manner with us checking out the saddle, shed the medicine, shed the sick, the Frontalot and Sarla, nothing.
And yet maybe I have a six inch. That is a sixth sense about these things because he it's a tiny voice that warns me when something isn't right. I'm sure it was trying to warn me as we headed toward the feed barn, but unfortunately it might have been too faint.
So Hunch tells me that our brain, the raccoon is over there in the thought about chances are he's busted in a sack, a horse, and he's eating the corn, the molasses. And I'm not going first. I hear that we'll hold you in reserve just outside the door. Not things get bad. I may have to call you. Come on, let's move out. Drover didn't budge as I slipped up to the door. And you might recall, this is the door that's walked at the bottom, which allowed me to wiggle the top half of my body inside with that comet in the bottom at once in position, I did a thorough scan.
You know what she of? You won't believe this is almost too good to be true. We have just been handed the best ordinary braconnier. You know who that is. And there ain't no Bradken Robert on Capitol Hill. Are you sure he must be looking for mice or something?
He's got run in on the ground and his hand up in there and his head between two males. I think she's all alone in the world. But when I go crashing in there and jump right in the middle of this whole thing, he's been attacked by the biggest raccoon ever Wolf.
Sounds pretty good if it is paid.
Oh, it's been all right. I think I know what it smells like, Robert. Oh, yeah. But how will this play out here? It reeks of cat.
Oh, I couldn't smell McAtee here. People live in the wild last six months. Oh, hi. Just kind of stand by for a barrel laugh because I'm fixing to let the cat out of the bag.
Yeah, but which cat slipped through the door again all the way down.
Beware of the moonlight coming through the cracks in the roof.
Just enough so I could make a visual confirmation of my original nose story that everything Chad that we had is a cat cornered felon and the fun was about to begin.
I took a Big Gulp leak through the air and yelled. I had reached the apex of my dive and had begun my downward arc when I noticed, oh, peach coat had changed colors, his tail had been shortened and by George he looked bigger than he looked real big, almost the size of a bobcat. Holy smokes. Do you realize how big and tough bobcats are? Terrible. I wouldn't jump on a bobcat for all the bones in Texas.
And yet so I straddled impeller, landed right in the middle of his back. How do you think a bobcat came back? Well, think again. He throwed an arching his back and blew me right up all my rig. And I went straight up in the air, hit my head on the ceiling and started back down. But before I hit the ground, this giant maniac had slapped me across the mouth of all those at the side of Debone State.
That's it. And. A different direction for the South this time until I came to the wall, and at that point I came to a sudden stop and dropped in a heap on the floor.
I was seeing stars and checkers and little pink galloping umbrellas dancing around. But that didn't keep me from getting a real good look at this monster.
That movie was big, mean, ugly and ferocious.
Listen to your ordinary bobcat. It's about two or three times the size of ordinary barn cat.
Well, this guy, he was two or three times the size of your ordinary bobcat.
And I'd seen him before Monju at a distance.
His name was sinister. The Bobcat.
Oh, he was a cold blooded professional killer with a rap sheet as long as your leg.
And I had definitely made a big mistake. So I don't want to alarm you.
But at this moment, I am trapped in the barn with a gigantic bobcat.
Martin was right about the. I wouldn't put it exactly that way. But the point is, our main column is surrounded.
It is time to bring in the reserves drover.
Over the little run at Abandoned Me, Sinister took a step in my direction, his long white teeth glowing in the dark.
Oh, hi there, your sister, the bobcat. I do believe we have formally met, but you probably won't believe this.
But I came in here looking for a cousin two years old. You're hoping I've been friends for. I don't know.
Obviously you're not, Pete and. Well, I probably ought to be now sinister.
I've always figured that there's a middle ground between surrender and annihilation. And if you'd care to be diplomatic about the situation and discuss, well, you're not at all OK.
He knocked me up in the rafters coming back down. I tried to latch on to one of the ceiling joists. Couldn't quite hang on. I headed for the floor again, but never reached it because sinister compared to the fan with the Roundhouse. Right. That sent me a flight. I woke up outside the barn, leam deep in a bush, my legs were wobbly wool, but I still had awful.
Oh, you look at that.
Sinister was still inside, turning over bales of hay and after a mouse, he didn't even look tired, sinister.
You got lucky this time.
But next time I think you've got to put it out.
And I didn't slow down until I got near the gas tanks up the hill. Looking back, I saw Senator slink away into the darkness. Well, he's gone. That anyway. I limped up to the gas tanks and found Rover hiding beneath his gunnysack bed drover.
You'll be interested in knowing that even without your help, I just suffered an incredible beating.
Well, I didn't think it would help for both of us to get beat up.
Well, that's very noble of you, Drover. I promise not to forget it. Oh, thanks. I think he is. He is. The bobcat gone.
Disappeared into the dark, past the creek. He'll probably be two ranches away.
Well, certainly I'm sure it is drover. I'm Caslen not Patro. That's a good idea.
I think I flop down on my gunnysack everything. Especially my pride siefer dog. There is nothing to compare with the humidification of being pounded by sniveling cat, even a big cat.
There's only one thing left for me to do.
He. Don't go anywhere, folks. I will be right back after a message from our sponsors.
Now stomp your feet and tip your hat, Hanken friends. They'll be right back. We're celebrating family with Texas love for HIV, HCV, family, HIV, family, TB. Family, when Sallie Mae comes through that gate or Hank arrives in second, straight from side to side, his tail does wag and achieves on those bags. HGV family. Hey, Jimmy Fallon. Hector Caradog is presented by our friends at HCB, Morgan is a small grocery and dry goods store in Kerrville, Texas, in 1995.
HIV is still a family company, but they're more than just a store. HIV is all about Texans helping Texans.
That's what they mean when they say no store does more than HIV. I woke the next morning at the crack at noon to the rumble of an approaching truck. I gave you a standard code red response to trespassers. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow.
But it was no intruder, just Loper, Sallie Mae and little Alfred back from the hospital, wherever that was.
Come on, Alfred, you need help down. I can do it. Well, hello. Hi. Boy, you got to think I don't.
Sallie Mae was smart, beaming. Rather I'd never seen her in such a good humor.
I wish Sallie Mae got there. And that pink blanket. What do you think drove her groceries? Auto groceries came in at brown mostly.
But now and again they wrapped in blankets and I figured this might be a good time to mend a few fences, so to speak, with the lady of the house.
So I went around to the other side of the truck.
I look, Molly, there's all hang and there's little doubt talking to the groceries tank dogs.
I brought home a special surprise for you, Bones. It's right here in this blanket. Oh, holy smokes, Jova.
Sallie Mae brought home a giant bald headed lizard from the grocery store. Oh, don't be silly, Hank. It's just a baby is just a baby, baby.
It's the first full grown giant ball that I've ever seen.
Wait, the puzzle pieces started coming together over. This is no, listen, I know this is a human baby. Hi, this is Molly. I want you to take good care of little Miss Molly. She's a real treasure. Yes.
I hereby take an oath to protect and defend the human baby child named Molly against monster snakes and other crawlin things, even bobcat.
Now, to see Leo's baby crying out loud, have the baby make it, baby.
Is there an echo? I was feeling that that dog is just a go, miss.
We can only hope the poor little thing is more attractive a tad. I don't like that baby. I want to take her back to the hospital so I know your little sister's not real pretty right now, but she'll grow out of it. And unlike your parents, since you're still young enough to hear me, let me give you some advice. One day you're going to be proud to have her on your place.
No, I. What, you don't care about me and you're not my friend anymore. And I don't like you either.
And I don't think. He hear me here, lucky I took an oath. Now hold on. Not the tape. No. Oh, not yet. You know, it's a very sensitive communicated you've got. What on earth are you doing? I'm playing. I think you're hurting Hank. He doesn't like you to pull his tail. I don't like Hank. He's a duck.
Oh, you're lucky I don't bite children. Part of you, if you can't be nice to have, you can't play with him. You play quietly with your trucks while I put Molly down for a nap. I don't like Molly either. Hush now. Mommy will be right out to play with you. No, too slow, if you're so big on tail, pull and go find a more deserving creature, I'm sure Pete the barn cat would love a visit.
Come on Drover, let's get some chow down a little.
Alfred Stu on his tomatoes while you. Drover and I went sprinting up the hill and trotted past the chicken house where I saw one of my favorite things Come on, Mama. We rode straight through the whole floor. I've always enjoyed scattering chickens, you see, even on days when I'm in a bad mood and nothing seems to be going right.
I can just run through a bunch of chickens and I don't know, just seems to give my life me.
I was still feeling sore from my beating the previous night between that and the tail pull and I couldn't help but worry. And that's when I noticed my less than trusty sidekick had fallen behind Drew.
Joel, come on, let's get the vote, even at the mention of a meal, Adrover didn't budge, which was not a good sign. He just kept staring off at that caprock.
Grover, what are you staring at? Little Guy's ears are pinned back on his head and his right leg quivered, as he put it there, and that's when I saw it in the distance, down by the edge of the dark, uncharted forest, sinister the bobcat. Hey, he's not too ranch's the way he's still on our ranch.
I see that traveler, Grovers Quivers turned shakes and he nearly fell over in place. It was sinister.
Disappear into the tree line. The bobcat was still on our ranch. This was not good. Tune in next time for The Continuing Adventures of Yours Truly, Hank, the count of our. Thanked the crowd of stars Matthew McConaughey as Hanks, Jesse Plemons, his drover Rich Polan as J.T. Cluck and Lopa, Michael Shannon as sinister, the Bobcat Brody Statler's as Little Alfred and Kirsten Dunst as Sallie Mae, written and directed by Jeff Nichols.
Based on the books by John R. Erickson, executive produced by Jeff Nichols, Matthew McConaughey, Sarah Green and Brian Cavanaugh Jones of Tri-State Pictures, Mark Ericson of HTC Productions, part Greg of Stuck On and On and Rob hurting of Kyouko consecutive producers Dave Henning and Missy Nichols, produced by Alexa Gabrielle Ramirez and Tess Ryan, producer for Stuck on on Alison Tural edited by Heart. Greg Sound Design and Mix by Lime and Hardy Original Score by Darren Johnson. Original Songs by John R.
Erickson produced and arranged by Bruce Robison. Audio Engineering by Liminality Dialogue. Editing by Ben Milchan Sound Design and Mix.
Consulting by Will Files and Matt Yocum Casting by Vicky Boon Artwork by Mark Bird Production Coordinator Jack Friedemann Post Coordinator Rachel Yanov.
Her educational program available courtesy of National Ranching Heritage Center and the Cow Dog is a tri state pictures, HTC Productions and QR Code production.
Hank, the catalog presented by Igby, just like Hank AGB, was born in Texas and has been proudly serving Texas family since 1995, no store does more than AGB.