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Hank, the catalog's presented by Igby, just like Hank, HCB was born in Texas and has been proudly serving Texas family since 1985, no store does more than AGB. QR Code and HTC Present Hank the Gowda, starring and produced by Matthew McConaughey, written and directed by Jeff Nichols for the latest of Hank The Count On, subscribe to the show wherever you find your favorite podcast, you can also learn more at Kyouko Media dot com or by following at QR Code Media.
Let me again thank the Gowda. Well, well, well, well, well.
So they were the witch of little old madam moonshining, me dangling in a mess of deep inside the dark enchanted forest. That was a big enough problem on its own. But Madam Moonshine also just informed me that down below us were two blood thirsty coyotes whose ravenous growls little they'd be hungry for just about anything that fell out of the sky, especially us. Madam, when were you planning on telling me about these? Goudreau After the singing, I think it helped break the news to you.
I couldn't say it did because at that very moment I saw two scraggly grey hairs with yellow eyes poked out of the bushes and literally licking their chops. Madam, I've had a little experience with these two guys. They're a couple of nasty brothers named Griffin Snork that run the skull. Do you suppose they would eat one or both of us if given the opportunity? Absolutely both. Yes, ma'am. And a New York minute. They aren't the brightest bulbs in the shed, but I'm sorry to report that they're double tough and always hungry.
I hey, check it out. Check it out now. Snort Sage, do the trick before snort only. So one of them does.
But now it as you can tell, it was quite fond of referring to himself in third person rip. Well she said he favored one syllable answers that that little bird looks like an owl erection. But now that Big Bird has a funny look bee. He's funny looking for off. Take first dibs on that Big Bird Snow laid him up for. Oh, now wait. Settle down. Mind we can share that big bird.
We'll eat him up for what? It sounds as though they want you to go first. I sure does. Let me talk to him. I happen to be fluent in their language, basic koti dialect, which is to branch off the tree of Universal Daglish.
Guys, hello down there. Oh, I reckon there's going to be. Oh, as the Khoury's whispered what I'm sure was an enlightening world recording conversation, a light rain began to patter on the leaves. Sadly, not enough rain to drive these two crazies away was like, You lock me up, sir. Same old charm. And now we've done business with many times before. Snort Hot Dog. It's great to see you again. Well, brother, repechage not drugs the but.
Oh, no, no, wait. You are a fair point. You do realize though, I'm not actually a very well known high snow Riggins. You're up in that tree, you're up in that tree that makes you a bird dog will eat you up I reckon. I know. I think I make a progress with quiet when it's raining. Good, good. Love pastures could use more moisture, don't you think, boys? My newly wet foot is slipping out of the vine.
That's great news. Oh, that's bad news. I look down or up I guess, and saw my foot was slipping too. And then to make matters worse, I heard the second most terrible thing you can ever hear rip and snort tuning up their voices.
And that can only mean one thing. Oh dear. Are they about to sing? Yes, madam. Their true love to sing the te sacred hymn and national anthem. No coward tradition. When they're done singing, they all do. Oh just for me. Oh oh oh. Look at the moon. I want to shrink and oh, all right. And that's the first, most terrible thing Howard is singing.
It was a bad song made worse by the vocalist, right?
Look, I got to work that. I know it's risky to use your backwards power, but maybe if you try again, reverse the scene on these jokers, it'll sweep them up into the trees. Perhaps it could be a wonderful plan. Well, of course. Don't forget, you're running around the head around security here, man. No need for that reminder, madam. Squeeze your eyes shut to concentrate. Her beak started to open, but then came.
Oh, dear. I've forgotten the words. I must have dropped a half a foot in my bar first enough to hear ripped teeth and I heard a man just say something. I do not like being rushed. It could backfire. If we don't do something quick, we won't have any back left. Oh, OK, OK, look, it's going to be Bodyline wicked, but was not last weekend so completely. Has had dangled with anticipation and I could see Madame Moonshine sneak one out and then a sound I could only describe as worse than the first one you'd never want to hear.
See, I holler and sing to no man. You just made it. So they sing the words and reverse coyote ruthless.
Oh, just try not to be honest. Maybe the song was better back with modern moonshine bein slipped again. Hold on, madam. That was my idea. I've lost count of three to push yourself out of this by the count of three.
Yes. Yes. We hit the ground, jumped your feet barrel working it right. One would hope so. Wouldn't one make a wish? I wish, yes. OK, ready. One, two. Wait, wait. You never told me what a wish what you wish for. Rippin sought to be hungry for anything other than us. That's what I need to wish for them to be hungry for something specific. What could it be? I. Why are you smiling?
What? Make them hungry for nothing. A cat. Oh, we hit the ground so hard, rip and snort, like to jump out of their skin and that gave us just enough time to get in position, get on your feet, not go.
And about that time, Rip and snort realized what had befallen on their heads. They started circling. Now we got a big supper. I heard about your words, just the words they for power, parallel rain and shower spiderwebs. And this is that make these ritze savages hungry for a box. No, not a back. I can do that. Oh goodness. I do not like this pressure.
A wall gleam in your eyes. Long white teeth raise hackles is headed straight for a snort left for madam. Moonshining scooped up in his mouth. Oh, my goodness. Rip jumped right in the middle of me. I thought of fighting back. I don't know if it would have done much good. I mean, those guys I'd have to beat up on badgers, get sprayed by skunk. Oh, you could bottom kick them, scratch him thumb drive, chew on your spit in their coffee and all it does is make them a little bit better.
I could see all 37 rich teeth. They were just about the longest, sharpest teeth I'd ever seen. And I did not like the way they were decorated. And that smile he flicked at his tongue, swept it around to the right side of his drooling lips, and then took it all the way back across his mouth and mopped up the left side.
And now rip. Don't you know, doing anything you might regret later at Grundt felt more threatening than the others. And it turns out it was, you know, what that mangled cannibal did? He tried to fit the whole top of my head in his mouth.
I thought my life's for fixing to go out for the very last time, but suddenly. That's when I saw Snork looked more confused than usual, which was already always very confusing. Spat Fatmata moonshine out of his mouth like a bad bar soap.
Oh, beg your pardon.
It really looked like my head could have been a stack of cow patties wrapped in loppers undershorts that didn't keep him from giving it a few more licks, just to be sure.
So don't want this this old out. Snorts Hungry for bat.
Come on. No, no, I'm not hungry for a cat.
Yes, see a very good snort, that sounds delicious. Don't rip and snort, don't want bird in that little that little old owl and start to eat catch.
OK. I have never been treated like this before. The brutality of the unspeakable, the. Yes, she means that in the nicest way boys. No, no, no, no, no, no. Not just hold on there, pal. What kind of cat are you hungry for? You don't want a skinny little bitty meow meow that the reaper should want to eat a pig.
Great fat cat. The quietest, biggest, baddest cat in the whole world.
I recognize the cat. We're talking about wonderful toys. Boy, that's asking a lot. But if that's what you want, then we're going to see if we can find you.
You'd better find 100 rape snorter. You put up the bird on you hunt bird.
I'd expect nothing less from you boys. And I could tell my my. Can you use your powers one last time and help me find little Alfred. I won't spend one more minute with those beasts. Please madam, my boy needs our help. Fine.
But only because the boys, your friend madam lean your head back and closed your eyes when kicked up in a strange fall. Crept in from nowhere, I figure. The funky dance o penetrating powers. I see him, I see him now, he's huddled in a shallow cave, frightened alone, wet and cold and crying. Oh, and tell me what what is it like that the fog was gone and there is nothing left but madam's giant open eyes and they were filled with fear.
Madam folks down below. Hungry beast. OK, ok. Buck up a bobcat. Yes. We must hurry.
Follow me this way. Follow us and all you can eat. Cat seven. Oh. Don't go anywhere, folks. Hank will be right back after a message from our sponsors. Now, stomp your feet and tip your hat, Hank and friends, they'll be right back. We're celebrating family with Texas love for AGB, Achieving Family, HCB Family Sheave Family. When Sallie Mae comes through that gate, old Hank arrives in a second straight from side to side, his tail does wag and achieves on those bags HCB family.
Hey, Jimmy Fallon. Family Hector Caradog is presented by our friends at HCB, Moore is a small grocery and dry goods store in Kerrville, Texas, in 1995. HIV is still a family company, but they're more than just a store. HIV is all about Texans helping Texans.
That's what they mean when they say no store does more than HB. Oh, oh, oh, we must hurry. Oh, what on earth are you doing, Hank? If you're going to run through a forest, you have to look straight ahead. Even a dog should know that.
I know. But one rule I've always lived by and never turn my back on cannibals. You take your eyes off these two for one minute and think, hey, I look back and rip and snort and start to scratch a hole in the dirt.
Tell us, hey, hey, we got to get a move on a piece of this big cat.
No, no. I will move and rip and snow on the table, hungry to move way.
No matter what kind of bloodthirsty killers are you, we never hunt.
We'll go get that big cat and bring it back.
No, no, that won't work. This is not a delivery service situation here, boys and I into one or two, which I don't there's no way I could get the bobcat back here.
That's Hugues problem. No, no, no luck, boys.
Hey, I need your help me go help nap. No nap. Boys, boys. What are they doing, mapping? I mean, you just can't win with these games. Well, what will you do about the Beast? I have to figure that out when we get there, huh?
Let's go. Madam upclose. A creek. I think he's just over that ridge. Oh, no. What's that sound is the Buzzard's, we crept to the edge of the ridge and peeked through the bushes. An awful Chaton was coming from an oak tree near the creek. It was Wallace and Junior, a father son, pair of buzzards, and as usual, they had arrived on the scene to serve as omens of misfortune. Little outfit was across the creek, which was starting to swell up from the rain.
He was tucked up under a ledge, a limestone in a shallow cave several feet below him, sinister the bobcat at killer catfish just sitting there still staring at the boy, wiping out the barn. Cat might watch a mouse. Not playing around cat giddy, that mangy, but he's he's just a little boy when you grow up. If you ever do, you'll find that this is a hard, old, tough world out here. And we'll take whatever we can get.
And don't ask no questions. Yeah. You can't serve two masters, Junior. You're either working for your stomach or you ain't working at all. So just hush up, Hank. What's your plan? I. You have to get the boy. He looks terribly scared. I know she's just gone, kid. Me and my boy here don't approve of what you're trying to do. No, we don't. But still and yet we'll be happy to clean up the.
We know that squawking Wallace got excited and slipped off his limb crack down right next to a senator who fashioned little brown and left for that dirty word. You know, you get your stuff down here. This has become. At the last second, Wallace jumped in the air and caught enough the black tar for his mouth to get away just snapped off a but sinister spit out of those feathers, but didn't take his eyes off Wallace until he found his parked car to go back down there and thrash you good smart aleck cat.
You're just lucky, Junior, which, by the way, Junior, it's shameful the way you neglect your poor old daddy whose work and slaved and scrimped and saved to throw up on that. Can you hear me? Can you just come back over here and I'll show you how much damage a buzzard can do. Sinister made his way back down to Stocking's Popolo out. Oh, by the way, those cats can sit there that move and a hair stare and then staring with their big old cat eyes.
You know what you're going to do. You just never know quite when they're going to do. You have to go now. You don't know when the beast will counts. I know. I know. I know. I know. I just I just don't. I don't. I don't know if I can do it at home. I tangled with that bobcat once before, and heck, I was lucky to get out alive. Look, I know I talked a good game and I know people think I'm the head honcho in charge, but I.
I'm scared. I know you're scared, but why are you the one that all alone went into the dark enchanted forest on this great mission? Yes. And why are you the one that got us out of a bind in the tree and took those vicious coyotes? Yes. Yes. But most of all, isn't that your boy down there? Me too. Yes, madam. You may want to step back a few miles of. Tune in next time for The Continuing Adventures of Yours Truly, Hank, the countdown, our.
Thank the Couto stars Matthew McConaughey as Hank Cynthia Revo as Madam Moonshine, Joel Edgerton as Rip and Snort, John R. Erickson as Wallace Scoot McNairy as Junior, Michael Shannon as Sinister The Bobcat and Brody Statler's as Little Alfred, written and directed by Jeff Nichols. Based on the books by John R. Erickson, executive produced by Jeff Nichols, Matthew McConaughey, Sarah Green and Brian Cavanaugh Jones of Tri-State Pictures.
Mark Ericson of HTC Productions, part Greg of Stuck on on and Rob Hurting of Kyouko Coexistent and producers Dave Henning and Missy Nichols, produced by Alexa Gabrielle Ramirez and Tess Ryan, producer for Stuff Going On. Alison Terrel edited by Heart. Greg Sound Design and Mix by Lime and Hardy Original Score by Darren Johnson. Original Songs by John R. Erickson produced and arranged by Bruce Robison. Audio Engineering by Liminality Dialogue. Editing by Ben Milchan Sound Design and Mix.
Consulting by Will Files and Matt Yocum Casting by Vicky Moon Artwork by Mark Baird Production Coordinator Jack Friedemann Host Coordinator Rachel Yanov.
Her educational program available courtesy of National Ranching Heritage Center.
Thank the cow dog is a tri state pictures, HTC Productions and QR Code production. Hank, the catalog's presented by Igby, just like Hank AGB was born in Texas and has been proudly serving Texas family since 1985, no store does more than AGB.