You Have the Power to Change Your Brain! (And Your Life!) | Mel Robbins
Mel Robbins- 265 views
- 21 Jul 2024
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Today, we're talking about a topic that I'm getting a ton of questions about, like this one from Sarah. Hey, Mel. This is Sarah, and I have a question. Are there actually ways to unlock sudden rapid steps to big change in a short period of time, or is this a dangerous misconception? Yes, Sarah. There is a way to unlock sudden change, and it's called habits. And that's what we're all going to talk about today. You and I are going to talk about the science of habits. I want to repeat, Sarah's question because I want to make sure that we unpack a couple elements in it, and then we're going to jump into the science of habits. Sarah's question was this, are there ways to unlock sudden rapid steps to big change in a short period of time Or is this a dangerous misconception? Now, I said, yes, there is a way for you to experience big change in a short period of time if you change how you view yourself. I mean, that's the biggest change that you can experience. When you change your identity, when you change what you believe is possible, that's transformational. Now, one of the things that Sarah said, though, is she asked, Is it a dangerous misconception to think that big change happens immediately.
And that brings me to the topic of habits. See, change doesn't happen overnight. But when you understand the science of habits, what you What you realize is that change, little change, it compounds daily. And the massive change that you experience in a short period of time when you focus on habit formation is how you relate to yourself. So I'm going to give you an example. Let's say that you set a goal, that this is the year that you are going to run your first marathon. You're going to train for it, you're going to finish the race. Now, it will take time. It's going to take you time to achieve that goal. But if you make it a habit to wake up every day and get out the door and go for that training run. Within a matter of days, something crazy happens. You experience this massive change because you start to see yourself differently. You start to see yourself as a runner. Now, have you achieved that goal yet? No. That's going to take time. But the power of habits is that as you practice them, they start to change your identity. They become evidence that you're the person that goes for a run.
So in the beginning, habits are just something that you and I do. But over time, habits change who you are. So I'm excited for this because if you're somebody who's struggling to change, maybe you're trying to with me. To be able to say that, and that's why it's so critical that first exercise of knowing who you like and not being ambivalent, because I don't want you to fake science. Number one, your willpower is the highest in the morning. Number two, your speed of processing, highest in the morning. Your ability to focus, highest in the morning for the first four hours of the day. And by the way, it's likely to be the time of day that you have to yourself, the time that you can actually control before other people, little people, fur three people, and all the commitments at work start taking up your attention and your time.And yeah, I get it. You've got toddlers. Well, that means if you're serious about this, you are going to have to get up a half an hour earlier before they get up, which means you're going to have to go to I said a half an hour earlier. But aren't these new habits and a better lifestyle and feeling in control of your life? Isn't that worth it? That's your why. Because if you can get an extra hour every morning, you can get everything done. You can do all the little things that the future you put in place for you. You can read the post-it note on the mirror. You can drink the bottle of water that you set out. You can write in your journal that you put in place on the table in the kitchen. You can pull on those exercise tights that you laid out. You can spend an hour getting things done. Honestly, this has been the secret to my second attempt. And I get it, I'm six days in. I'm working these systems like a mother, let me tell you. But this has been the secret. I feel six days in. Six days in last time was about when I quit.I'm like, This is too hard. I can't fit this in. I'm all about it. Six He stays in. This feels not easy, but it feels like, okay, I got this. I got my systems. I got my head down. I'm just going to keep on plugging away at this. I'm getting the photo done. I'm getting the outside exercise done. I'm getting that done in the morning. And look, it's not a cakewalk, but it's getting done. And here's one more bonus that I want to give you, okay? You want to supersize all this? Really want to get outside of yourself? You really want to be an out-of-your-organizer? When it comes to changing your changing habits. Holy cow. Could you please stop doing this in your head alone and get out there and get a friend and do this with? Literally, whether you are texting somebody every day to check in, or you're jumping on Peloton and you're high-fiving people, or you're in a Facebook group, I got to tell you, the power of a community of people, whether it's your sisters or your high school friends, or it's your neighbors, or it's a group of strangers that are organizing themselves on a text chain.It's incredible. So Chris is doing 75 hard for now the third time. I mean, basically it's his life. It's not even like a challenge for him. This is just his core habits. And he is leading a huge group of people through this from around the world. And he has this amazing text chain going on WhatsApp from people around the world. So every single day when I wake up after I look in the mirror and I give myself a high five and I check the list and I start checking I'm taking things off, when I finally look at my phone and I see what's going on in this WhatsApp group, it's freaking unbelievable. It is so motivating to see other people outside me, outside of my little sphere of whatever, outside of me, outside of my little tiny town here in Southern Vermont, outside of my own little brain, outside of my own little bullshit, seeing all these other people out there doing it. In fact, just two days ago, there was a woman in Iran on this WhatsApp text chain with a video on her morning walk out in a park in Iran, just talking about how motivating it is, especially with what's going on in her country with women's rights, to be focused on behavior changes that she can make to tap into the power in herself.So when I'm sitting here in the pouring rain in Vermont, bitching about stupid things, it's like, Oh, for God's sakes, Mel, get over yourself. Get your ass out there. Stop chirping about the stupid stuff Give me a break. Doing it with people in an online group, doing it with friends in a textYeah, isn't it the same thing?Yes, they should be, because it's very difficult to stay happy when you feel like your life is meaningless. And it's very difficult to keep doing meaningful activities, if you don't feel any joy doing that or any return on it. You have to have the two melded together. And I would say, grit alongside that as well. And so what we're finding was, that that meaning was coming from our participation, positively, in creating a a better world that was outside of just the individual. And then when you enhance and expand the power out and let people be part of your life as well, that's when we start to see those larger gains in people's thoughts of happiness.Hey, it's Mel. Thank you so much for being here. If you enjoyed that video, by God, please subscribe because I don't want you to miss a thing. Thank you so much for being here. We've got so much amazing stuff coming. Thank you so much for sending this stuff to your friends and your family. I love you. We create these videos you, so make sure you subscribe.
with me. To be able to say that, and that's why it's so critical that first exercise of knowing who you like and not being ambivalent, because I don't want you to fake science. Number one, your willpower is the highest in the morning. Number two, your speed of processing, highest in the morning. Your ability to focus, highest in the morning for the first four hours of the day. And by the way, it's likely to be the time of day that you have to yourself, the time that you can actually control before other people, little people, fur three people, and all the commitments at work start taking up your attention and your time.And yeah, I get it. You've got toddlers. Well, that means if you're serious about this, you are going to have to get up a half an hour earlier before they get up, which means you're going to have to go to I said a half an hour earlier. But aren't these new habits and a better lifestyle and feeling in control of your life? Isn't that worth it? That's your why. Because if you can get an extra hour every morning, you can get everything done. You can do all the little things that the future you put in place for you. You can read the post-it note on the mirror. You can drink the bottle of water that you set out. You can write in your journal that you put in place on the table in the kitchen. You can pull on those exercise tights that you laid out. You can spend an hour getting things done. Honestly, this has been the secret to my second attempt. And I get it, I'm six days in. I'm working these systems like a mother, let me tell you. But this has been the secret. I feel six days in. Six days in last time was about when I quit.I'm like, This is too hard. I can't fit this in. I'm all about it. Six He stays in. This feels not easy, but it feels like, okay, I got this. I got my systems. I got my head down. I'm just going to keep on plugging away at this. I'm getting the photo done. I'm getting the outside exercise done. I'm getting that done in the morning. And look, it's not a cakewalk, but it's getting done. And here's one more bonus that I want to give you, okay? You want to supersize all this? Really want to get outside of yourself? You really want to be an out-of-your-organizer? When it comes to changing your changing habits. Holy cow. Could you please stop doing this in your head alone and get out there and get a friend and do this with? Literally, whether you are texting somebody every day to check in, or you're jumping on Peloton and you're high-fiving people, or you're in a Facebook group, I got to tell you, the power of a community of people, whether it's your sisters or your high school friends, or it's your neighbors, or it's a group of strangers that are organizing themselves on a text chain.It's incredible. So Chris is doing 75 hard for now the third time. I mean, basically it's his life. It's not even like a challenge for him. This is just his core habits. And he is leading a huge group of people through this from around the world. And he has this amazing text chain going on WhatsApp from people around the world. So every single day when I wake up after I look in the mirror and I give myself a high five and I check the list and I start checking I'm taking things off, when I finally look at my phone and I see what's going on in this WhatsApp group, it's freaking unbelievable. It is so motivating to see other people outside me, outside of my little sphere of whatever, outside of me, outside of my little tiny town here in Southern Vermont, outside of my own little brain, outside of my own little bullshit, seeing all these other people out there doing it. In fact, just two days ago, there was a woman in Iran on this WhatsApp text chain with a video on her morning walk out in a park in Iran, just talking about how motivating it is, especially with what's going on in her country with women's rights, to be focused on behavior changes that she can make to tap into the power in herself.So when I'm sitting here in the pouring rain in Vermont, bitching about stupid things, it's like, Oh, for God's sakes, Mel, get over yourself. Get your ass out there. Stop chirping about the stupid stuff Give me a break. Doing it with people in an online group, doing it with friends in a textYeah, isn't it the same thing?Yes, they should be, because it's very difficult to stay happy when you feel like your life is meaningless. And it's very difficult to keep doing meaningful activities, if you don't feel any joy doing that or any return on it. You have to have the two melded together. And I would say, grit alongside that as well. And so what we're finding was, that that meaning was coming from our participation, positively, in creating a a better world that was outside of just the individual. And then when you enhance and expand the power out and let people be part of your life as well, that's when we start to see those larger gains in people's thoughts of happiness.Hey, it's Mel. Thank you so much for being here. If you enjoyed that video, by God, please subscribe because I don't want you to miss a thing. Thank you so much for being here. We've got so much amazing stuff coming. Thank you so much for sending this stuff to your friends and your family. I love you. We create these videos you, so make sure you subscribe.
science. Number one, your willpower is the highest in the morning. Number two, your speed of processing, highest in the morning. Your ability to focus, highest in the morning for the first four hours of the day. And by the way, it's likely to be the time of day that you have to yourself, the time that you can actually control before other people, little people, fur three people, and all the commitments at work start taking up your attention and your time.
And yeah, I get it. You've got toddlers. Well, that means if you're serious about this, you are going to have to get up a half an hour earlier before they get up, which means you're going to have to go to I said a half an hour earlier. But aren't these new habits and a better lifestyle and feeling in control of your life? Isn't that worth it? That's your why. Because if you can get an extra hour every morning, you can get everything done. You can do all the little things that the future you put in place for you. You can read the post-it note on the mirror. You can drink the bottle of water that you set out. You can write in your journal that you put in place on the table in the kitchen. You can pull on those exercise tights that you laid out. You can spend an hour getting things done. Honestly, this has been the secret to my second attempt. And I get it, I'm six days in. I'm working these systems like a mother, let me tell you. But this has been the secret. I feel six days in. Six days in last time was about when I quit.
I'm like, This is too hard. I can't fit this in. I'm all about it. Six He stays in. This feels not easy, but it feels like, okay, I got this. I got my systems. I got my head down. I'm just going to keep on plugging away at this. I'm getting the photo done. I'm getting the outside exercise done. I'm getting that done in the morning. And look, it's not a cakewalk, but it's getting done. And here's one more bonus that I want to give you, okay? You want to supersize all this? Really want to get outside of yourself? You really want to be an out-of-your-organizer? When it comes to changing your changing habits. Holy cow. Could you please stop doing this in your head alone and get out there and get a friend and do this with? Literally, whether you are texting somebody every day to check in, or you're jumping on Peloton and you're high-fiving people, or you're in a Facebook group, I got to tell you, the power of a community of people, whether it's your sisters or your high school friends, or it's your neighbors, or it's a group of strangers that are organizing themselves on a text chain.
It's incredible. So Chris is doing 75 hard for now the third time. I mean, basically it's his life. It's not even like a challenge for him. This is just his core habits. And he is leading a huge group of people through this from around the world. And he has this amazing text chain going on WhatsApp from people around the world. So every single day when I wake up after I look in the mirror and I give myself a high five and I check the list and I start checking I'm taking things off, when I finally look at my phone and I see what's going on in this WhatsApp group, it's freaking unbelievable. It is so motivating to see other people outside me, outside of my little sphere of whatever, outside of me, outside of my little tiny town here in Southern Vermont, outside of my own little brain, outside of my own little bullshit, seeing all these other people out there doing it. In fact, just two days ago, there was a woman in Iran on this WhatsApp text chain with a video on her morning walk out in a park in Iran, just talking about how motivating it is, especially with what's going on in her country with women's rights, to be focused on behavior changes that she can make to tap into the power in herself.
So when I'm sitting here in the pouring rain in Vermont, bitching about stupid things, it's like, Oh, for God's sakes, Mel, get over yourself. Get your ass out there. Stop chirping about the stupid stuff Give me a break. Doing it with people in an online group, doing it with friends in a textYeah, isn't it the same thing?Yes, they should be, because it's very difficult to stay happy when you feel like your life is meaningless. And it's very difficult to keep doing meaningful activities, if you don't feel any joy doing that or any return on it. You have to have the two melded together. And I would say, grit alongside that as well. And so what we're finding was, that that meaning was coming from our participation, positively, in creating a a better world that was outside of just the individual. And then when you enhance and expand the power out and let people be part of your life as well, that's when we start to see those larger gains in people's thoughts of happiness.Hey, it's Mel. Thank you so much for being here. If you enjoyed that video, by God, please subscribe because I don't want you to miss a thing. Thank you so much for being here. We've got so much amazing stuff coming. Thank you so much for sending this stuff to your friends and your family. I love you. We create these videos you, so make sure you subscribe.
Yeah, isn't it the same thing?
Yes, they should be, because it's very difficult to stay happy when you feel like your life is meaningless. And it's very difficult to keep doing meaningful activities, if you don't feel any joy doing that or any return on it. You have to have the two melded together. And I would say, grit alongside that as well. And so what we're finding was, that that meaning was coming from our participation, positively, in creating a a better world that was outside of just the individual. And then when you enhance and expand the power out and let people be part of your life as well, that's when we start to see those larger gains in people's thoughts of happiness.
Hey, it's Mel. Thank you so much for being here. If you enjoyed that video, by God, please subscribe because I don't want you to miss a thing. Thank you so much for being here. We've got so much amazing stuff coming. Thank you so much for sending this stuff to your friends and your family. I love you. We create these videos you, so make sure you subscribe.