Transcribe your podcast
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The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only, so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up? You call? OK, this is the introduction to the program we've been doing our introduction, the like the very beginning, the same way for five hundred an hour.

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How many episodes are we in it now?

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Yeah, this is the way I want to start. We're going to start the show, but we're going to do it different.

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We have to organically find that. All right.

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It can't be a bit it can't be a bit. It's got to be like practiced sounding good, but it's just got to organically have been without me sort of taking control and and steering as I have as the capitán.

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And I try something and I just put something right off the bat. It's if you're going to make a strategy or a plan for how to cope with this, you can't. It's just got to be like it feel. We talk in our book.

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Everybody has a podcast except you in theaters January twenty twenty one.

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If you sneak into the theater. Yeah. You got to have a plan.

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It's the only book that also works is a mask so you can just wear it when you go to the theater.

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People think it sounds organic. When you start, you know, doing a show, it sounds natural and organic.

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And I just want to see what organically happens without a strategy for how to begin the program. Well, who's that talking?

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That's my older brother, Justin MacRay.

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Hey, Trav, thanks for saying.

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I know you've fucked it up. All right. To just just as time for the weekly joke. It's time for just a joke.

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We now we would definitely introduce ourselves in this new introduction. This is before Travis and I introduce ourselves. Yeah. Historically have done Justin Gretz, Justin's Justin. So it used to be called Justin's Naughty Joke of the Week.

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And it was it was originally it was scribbled it was like a sexual joke, like dirty, dirty, looks like some real dockworker.

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Their reality in which this podcast, this new podcast, podcast, Entra, that Reforging would start with four names, not give them not any more.

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Now, going to me, I swear to Christ, just add me and Travis are going to say our names.

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But but first we do like, oh Jesus.

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This is our oldest brother, Justin and Justin. You swing in there and you're like, here's a joke.

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Here's what I heard. Have you heard this? Here's one I heard this week. Dirty. This isn't a joke. It's nice to hear that. It's not just a dirty joke. It's not that anymore. Just regular joke. Hey, this isn't a joke.

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Just to clarify, it could still be dirty. It just doesn't have to be dirty.

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I want to get to your room. I don't want to start with a fun fact. You hear about that. The sarcophagus over in Egypt, they found Mohammed over two thousand years. You hear about this?

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No. Yeah, there's this sarcophagus had been buried. They opened that had been closed for two thousand five hundred years. And here's the wild part. The body inside was covered in chocolate and nuts. They think it might have been Pharaoh rachet. Huh, so that's I did like them better when you were like, what's the difference? Would you say, like, he had a boner? Sorry, because you it so that was really close. But if you take your coverage of the nuts and bolts.

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Sorry, let me set you up.

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Let me set you up for that juice and we'll cut all the stuff that you're doing this out.

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Did you say no shot. There it is.

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Well and what was that sounds awesome. Is it the mummy's bone. Was it the bombings. Mommy's boner was your boner while I couldn't.

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Oh, OK. Wait, hold on. Why would you to get. Let's do that.

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Why did you just say no point. Why was why was the teenage mommy so nervous in class. Why he couldn't keep his boner under wraps. OK, all right, so you're OK, stop, stop. That can't be your thing to train, but your thing can also be dirty mummy jokes.

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But it's all I know. Justin or Griffin, maybe you're Justin now.

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This nobody knows because we haven't introduced ourselves.

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While you've mentioned it, we know one thing. I'm not Justin.

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I don't they don't know who the fuck I am, but they know I'm not Justin because I haven't been telling dirty mommy jokes that why don't you guys decide?

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Putting me on blast would be the bit for the introduction. My introduction that I wanted to do was coming up with a new introduction for the show.

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It's you put yourself on blast. I teased you up. I said, this is my older brother, Justin. I mean, you choked and as punishment, we tried to make you shine.

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OK, I've paid my penance starting fresh. OK, the person is just press play on their podcast and action.

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Why was the teenager mommy nervous in class? Now, wait a minute. Why are you trying to hold open coaching the mommy boner? Sort of.

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Well, if we're restarting now, we've edited out when Justin was like them. Not all of it. Yeah, it's just the introduction for the podcast.

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Sam isn't the dirty money boy anymore, so I saw an opportunity to take it.

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Now that you haven't said your name, it was called open.

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It's a up and they don't know, but they don't fucking open up Saturday Night Live like, hey, everybody, it's me. Skillern jokes, man And today I'm going to be doing Reince Priebus, right, was back in the news.

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You hear about this. You hear about this.

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That's what I call dibs on that. My thing is talking about what rights is up to. Yeah. Yeah, I hear he drives a Prius. OK, let's let's hit all this.

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Let's cut all this. This obviously is just press play and action. Why was the teenage Ryan's previous nervous in class. Why can't you. He couldn't get his voter under wraps.

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OK, ok. You know what? I'm going to grant you that the crime was a mummy.

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OK, do your jaw jerk again. I'm going to lean into it a little bit better and I'm sorry for shut me down. The person presses play on their podcast catcher and this is what they hear.

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Why was the teenage Reince Priebus, who is also a mummy, nervous in class because he couldn't keep his boner under wraps.

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Fuck. Welcome, everybody, to my brother, my brother and me, we're. You're right. That didn't work.

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I'd love for you to try one.

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Yeah, sure. And the person presses play and action. You guys have rich babies.

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I didn't I don't think we got it. I think I did it to get here this latest way.

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I kind of like that. Start the music and just cut the music. And Griffin will come in strong like a hee haw moment.

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Like the very first thing they'll hear is this music that comes loaded on the road caster pro, no matter no matter fucking what we aren't doing.

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And this is the intro right here, no matter what.

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Swear it, Justin. Swear on your life, I swear.

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But let me just get the flow, walk me through it, because I think we're so close to something that you do the fuckin music.

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I hop in there with a sick ass. You know, there's got to be a hard stop.

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No fade out. It's like music. And then no matter why this is it. Yeah.

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All right. OK, so I start the music. Yeah. And I'll do my take it down. You bring in a joke, I fade it.

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No, no fade no fade out cardstock. Fade it louder and louder and louder until it comes to a dead stop. What. And three, two, one play.

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You guys hear this one not far off on. He's Amanda Knox. You are Mike Griffin, this is Griffin McElroy.

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I'm Travis McCoy, Justin McElroy, I think in post that's going to sound really good.

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Yeah, well, that's got to tighten it up and sweeten and a little bit a little dead air. But I think if we could get out some of the tininess, I did not notice the dead air, Travis. I'm so glad your ear is in the show because I did not notice it.

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I noticed that only because Griffin had to specifically call my name to tell me to talk. That was the only reason I caught that dad's face. Almost always a bad sign.

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Yeah, well, all right. Let's do some fucking questions. Fuck, yes.

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Yeah, I bet people thought that was going to be the whole episode. I bet it could feel that way sometimes.

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Yeah, but it never I've heard that. I think they can say something. I think that part of the reason people struggle with the introductions to this program sometimes and why it is put off, I would say at this point, innumerable listeners.

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Yeah. New listeners to the program and older listeners.

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Yeah, I, I like to think that some of them got off the ship at some point. But, you know, I think a lot of people try they're like, I've heard about this show in Australia.

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I think the part of the problem with the introductions is that a few times we have started an introduction that has become an entire episode. And I think that now when you're listening in the introduction, there is this back of your throat fear, right, that this could be the whole episode.

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Honestly, just it's kind of fucked up that you are continuing to suspend those sensitive listeners that fear.

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I am sorry. I'm sorry.

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This is a show show has begun. Recently, a couple of friends invited me to do an escape room with them. It was kind of fun. So when they asked me again the next week, I agreed to do another one. Now they're calling the three of us an escape room team now and want to do the PM's office twice a week traveling across the country. Once I got a name for your team, the super spreaders. As much as I've mildly enjoyed doing puzzles and unlocking things, I'm clearly not into this as the others and need a polite way of telling them I don't want to be in the team.

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No, a lot of rooms require a minimum three people. So me not being there, I mean, they can't do a lot of rooms.

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Bother's brothers are supposed to be a bother.

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How do I escape from this escape room team sick of solving puzzles in Scotland?

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I just said that about the super spreaders.

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But I will say Scotland is, I believe in a somewhat better place everywhere is I why would an escape room have a minimum of people to anticipate they charge per head so well?

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But I mean, at that point, just charge a minimum, say like if one day if you want to come.

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Travis said, well I guess, I guess I mean, you did say your own name. It would be mine. I did want to say before I knew that you volunteer for this. Who's that asshole? That's like no one else come in. I'm going to do this one by myself.

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Well, if they're going to do a bad job, listen, this is the thing I have done. I have done many, many escape rooms. Yeah. And I would say specifically at Al-Rifai and I have done a lot of escape rooms together. We are at a convention the same time. We will do escape rooms.

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Now, have we done escape rooms where there have been, let's say, some dead weight on the team? Yeah, totally. Totally, totally.

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But the two of us can carry it, you know what I mean? I don't know where I'm going with this. I just wanted to brag about how good our Fi and I are at escapers. People love that.

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I think that you're very lucky to be.

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If I could be if I had the kind of life where I could even entertain the fucking idea of being part of a, quote, escape room team, end quote.

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I would celebrate. I would celebrate.

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I would say a thank you prayer every morning and every night before bedtime for the cool life that I had where I could go and solve the puzzles of puzzle masters across this great country of ours or world, that fucking globe of ours.

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I know this isn't helpful, but change your whole fucking outlook because you should like this more.

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I mean, it's something, isn't it? You going to escape route? You know what the nicest thing about escape rooms are? If you go to an escape room, by definition, you haven't been there before. You know what I mean? I get Lisse.

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It's new room. That's the I never want to leave. This is new room. This excited to be here.

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Let me let me reframe your thinking question asker of why their rooms are the greatest fucking things in the world all around us in what I'm going to call real world non escape rooms. There are problems that are completely unquantifiable in escape room.

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What's this Red Book? Those on the green bookshelf and something open that is a quantifiable, solvable problem, that when you've solved it, you can feel a little bit better about life, feel anything, feel anything in the escape from.

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Oh, that's a good tagline for Griffin's escape rooms. Come in, feel something.

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You light switch that light switch on and off three times and I'll come on over the loudspeaker.

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I'll be like you fucking it really embrace this novelty. I want to hear that box click open. That's joy in your heart, my friend.

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It would be me in the escape room with a group of super salvors. Would like my fam.

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We didn't escape. I can't remember. We're on tour. Last year we did escape route back when tour was a thing we could do an escape room and leave house was things we could do. We solved it real fast. We got out there like thirty eight minutes with a lot of time left, which was us.

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This was in this was when we were on tour in Milwaukee at the city.

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Thirteen city thirteen. Yes. And it was kind of like post punk by like Cyberdyne Nerva I brainwashing.

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Yeah it was dope.

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We got out of there real fast but these days I probably would have like had hand on the doorknob at thirty eight minutes like do you guys just want to fucking kick it for that.

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We'll do twenty one minutes and 50 seconds left in here. You can leave when we absolutely have to but maybe we could just like explore the space.

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Sniffs Yeah, it's new. Maybe we can leave more problems than we solve.

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Let's create some new ones. Do you think it's a hard enough Berryville dangerous situations when there's a fire at an escape room place? Not because the doors are locked or anything, because as we all know, the doors are not locked. It's the biggest lie they were told was that. Yeah, so open it.

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If the fire alarm starts going off and you're doing an escape room, you're going to be like, ha, OK, how did I.

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Hey, hey, Valerie. Do that again. Step on that again.

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Because it maybe it'll turn it off. I don't know what it means. Count the flashes. That is the thing.

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By that I wonder how there's got to be a study somewhere on how doing fire drills has ruined anybody's reaction to actual like fire alarms. Because now as an adult, if I'm in a place and I hear a fire alarm, the first words out of my mouth are it's probably not real.

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Oh, what an asshole. What asshole did this?

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I think if I ran an escape room and I was staffing up, I would hire somebody. And the first day would be business as usual. I'd be like, you lock up tonight. And then when they tried to leave that night, they would find the front door was locked from the outside.

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OK, the test, the true test begins now. I'm almost certain I am describing the plot of the escape room horror movie.

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I think it's true. If I was if I was hoping for an escape room, I would hire a plant that any time a group started, you know, they go in there with tents on there. There's eleven people, but there's a lot going on. So maybe they don't notice the extra person and the extra person's jobs just go like I don't think we're going to solve this one, guys. And just like really talk up how hard the puzzles are and like, oh, wait, hold on.

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Well, no, no, this isn't doing it. Fuck, I thought we had it. No, I don't think we're solved. And they can't.

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Guys, at some point they could pretend to die. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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And they would use their clarefield to. Oh it's not to turn sunlight in the air, not a real plant.

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Just goes to visit his mommy. How can I help you.

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One thing has concerns me greatly reduced.

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Can I say you can't. It's it would be fucking wild to interrupt Travis now and remember remembers being feels wrong.

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I do. But I did want to say something. Just the team will know if you don't want to do it because of your past performance.

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So you also laying on the table. Oh I'm freezing. Welcome to Under the table and eating a sandwich.

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Was they eating a full.

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Oh crap. Oh I was eating a sandwich. It was an egg salad. Can you crack. And this is just a rose.

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This is just a really good opportunity for you to bust out. Like, I don't eat too much, I eat too much, drink too much or too much.

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Had a day passes picnic get ruined.

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Now our ads march and they had boners all over it. Their dicks were out ok dicks.

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So yeah I lay in under the table in fishing. I'm going to read you some lyrics. They might be Dave Matthews, they might be fish. And this week, special twist. There is one by third eye blind.

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OK, I know I'm going to fucking I'm going to bloodhound that one out. So let's start.

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Don't let it get away, and if we did, we're going to get it back and in time, you and me, we will. We will, we will. We will be over. And again and again.

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That's Dave, WDEF, the eagles fish.

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Gefilte fish.

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That is Dave Matthews again and again. All right.

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Let's I've been prepping for this segment by listening to every Dave Matthews on every fish song and his name, as well as they'll try transcribing my joke, please.

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Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure.

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I've been prepping for this segment by listening every Dave Matthews Band song and every fish song. And I have now I have the munchies.

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Wow. Yeah, I did.

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Yeah. I guess I just don't follow Justin Parsons's ok. OK, here's another one. Bang, bang. You're dead now. Could be real. I got a bag of smoke. Come on, let's make a deal yet.

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Fish, fish, fish. Yeah.

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Bridges burn. But tomorrow is another day to feed the world and go outside and play now.

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Dave, I'm going to say I'm just sick of fish. That is Dave.

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I thought I say he twisted that on me. He thought, I want to write the first stanza as though I were fish. And the second stanza as still our day.

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We built a kingdom out of lies. And then we blindly fanned the fires. We warmed our hands with glowing coals, but now they rain down from the skies.

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Third eye blind. Yeah, third eye blind. That is fish. Damn song is leaves. I am oh for three right now. I use you on this game because of you girl.

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Beautiful, beautiful girl.

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Take it easy on yourself and make it easy on me because I just want to make you I just want to make you. Come on, come on. Come on, come.

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That's that's your father right. It's not fair.

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It's not fish. I'm going to suppose that it is one of Dave Matthews is many songs about it.

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So Dave, that is one of Dave's hornier tracks.

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It's called. Come on. Come On. OK, so that's four for Justin, one for Griffin, in case you're wondering, yes, crash is one of the fingering champs. Yes, one hierophant.

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Press me down, then I pressurize. Then I rise up like Dimond's rise up all you Dimond's. So rise up, rise up all you Dimond's pressure rise all you Dimond's third.

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I feel it doesn't feel like Fish or Dave Matthews Band so I am going to hit third eye blind on this one.

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I won. Third eye blind, it is third eye blind, correct? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, there is the tower, like a solitary flower standing in the snow, all the walls, all as the wolves all the way below.

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And you're walking on the ledge throwing bread crusts off the edge. That feels fishy to me. I was throwing that first because the use of tower and then flour made me feel like this is probably a phallic sexual Dave Matthews song about sex.

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But I am going to switch to fish. It is fish.

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OK, yeah. And I do want to point out to Dave Matthews, songs aren't phallic. No, he only writes about fingering.

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Yeah, well, the finger could be a tie as well I guess. Sure. OK, this is. No, it's not what everybody's thinking of. Let's be honest.

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I love your hair in the mornings. You know, you love to run wild and let the main flow, but you run away.

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But we meet again soon. South of the border and over the moon. Dave Matthews Band, Phish.

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That's Phish Shadow.

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It was. And I could tell because it was kind of horny, but not it doesn't. Dave's going to finish, you know what I mean?

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OK, this is my question, are all song lyrics the same or the two of them just have some a lot of crossover total?

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Like I think the reason I do this whole segment is because they have a lot of crossover. Totally just.

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All right. I got I got I'm going to use Yahoo! Now stand by my apartment. That prospect. Thank you, prospector.

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It is from Yahoo!

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Answers user Christopher who asks and this one might be kind of quick. Should the laugh track on sitcoms be just one person instead of a crowd of laughter? Oh, now do you guys think they mean one person across all sitcoms or one person per sitcom?

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You mean the same person?

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Is it like Dave's track and Dave does the laugh for everyone, or is it like, well, Dave goes with friends and like Stephen goes, well, Big Bang Theory.

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I am interested in the idea of the laughter being someone we like become familiar with attraction like this is like, yeah, this is Tarrant's and.

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But they can't. The problem is there's never an episode of Big Bang Theory where the audience isn't super into it.

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Didn't love I. That should be a thing.

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It's like there's an episode of Big Bang Theory. We're just Sheldon does his like, you know, he pisses his pants and he's like Bazinga.

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And the audience just is like, yeah, we'll think about that. Right. Like usually is loving it. Right.

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But there's an episode where the thing Sheldon did you thought was pretty funny, but Terence didn't see him as a yes.

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What's that mean? What's that? It's like it's Terrans. OK, what's going on?

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That is the problem, right, is you would start to have more insight and probably concern about the real Matt and Terence. Yeah. Then then then you would about the Bazaine guys in the biz and gals over at Big Bang Theory.

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And I think eventually you would end up like campaigning to get the camera back at the back of the audience so I could see Tarrant's in his chair while I'm watching.

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Well, get, you know, their science and like, jokes about the Green Lantern and stuff.

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But we're talking about multicamera, say, Congress. That's going to be a tough nut to tough nut to put down. It's just you have to keep them all here. Just take a second to appreciate tough nut to put as the new powerful slogan for something.

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I think maybe instead we just get at the top of every episode of every sitcom.

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We get about two minutes. Interview with Terence. Yeah. Just to see how he's doing.

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And most of the time I imagine this is sort of a poet laureate position, sort of venerated where we can trust his sort of opinions about about comedy and jokes and laughing and stuff.

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So when he sits up and say, hey, guys, it's me, Terence, all strapped in, ready for another fucking great episode, they wouldn't say fuck it, but we're ready to laugh at another know, maybe maybe with Terence, there's no censorship.

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We want unbridled, unfiltered. Tarrant's OK.

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But then, you know, like, OK, so, Terence, lobstering, this one, it's OK for me and all my pals at this Big Bang party that I'm throwing, which is going to which is a Big Bang Theory watch party. And then we're all going to have we're all going to fuck later.

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It's OK for us to laugh. But then if you see an interview with him before an episode of Frasier too, and he's like, hey guys.

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Yeah, my cat sick.

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Anyway, let's get on with the show.

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And then, you know, like, it's OK that I'm laughing when Terence doesn't.

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Do you think that the risk would become that TV shows would start to be developed specifically with Tarrant's in mind?

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Where what's Tarrant's like? What's here? We got to get in front of Tarrant's people. Tell me the name of Terrance's third grade teacher. Give me all the information you can on Tarrant's.

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Do you do you think there is a static number of days after the series finale of Big Bang Theory, at which point we will stop referencing Big Bang Theory as an ongoing concern?

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Well, because currently, by my math, it has been roughly maybe four hundred and fifty days by the calendar since the final episode on May 16th. Twenty nineteen.

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I tell you the problem here drayman problem is I think I know the problem is that I can't think of another TV show. Right.

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Yeah. Are there are other ones that are going on right now. Not on that scale. I mean listen, we can talk about supernatural, but that's not a multicamera comedy.

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Again, please don't talk about supernatural. I'm just saying it's been a year and a half since.

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First off, do you guys feel like, OK, do you feel like the nation mourned Big Bang Theory?

[00:28:11]

And I don't because everyone has been very excited about Big Bang theories existence. But did the nation mourn the Big Bang Theory? Partially because I feel like I didn't see the sort of funeral for a friend proceedings that one would expect from the, you know, saying goodbye to, well, characters here.

[00:28:33]

We're in the stage where, you know, a loved one passes and you spend a lot of time watching old home movies like and like.

[00:28:40]

Just remember, except in this. KS, it's like 800 episodes of reruns, he said, takes a while to get through those home movies before you're like, you know what, I don't really miss that loved one anymore.

[00:28:53]

That's it. It's going to come to us. Twenty, thirty five. When someone's going to accidentally say Bazinga and I'll be like, oh, and then the cavity will feel it. And just just answer your question with another perspective. It has been to my actual math nearly 6000 days since Frasier went off the air fare.

[00:29:18]

But I think when we talk about Frazier, it is tinged with a A that we're the age is folded into the rhythm. Right.

[00:29:28]

And I feel like Big Bang Theory is our reach for Kurt here.

[00:29:34]

And this is a fair point, because I did go I when I first started this, I said something about friends and I thought, but friends is canceled. I need to talk about an ongoing show.

[00:29:45]

I know Big Bang Theory, but I really blame I don't blame me for you. I blame the nation for not mourning the gang. I feel like the gang past.

[00:29:58]

Here's a new kind of take as an interesting fact place.

[00:30:01]

Twelve and a half million people watched Big Bang Theory on May 9th, which was the week before this. The show ended. OK, the finale episode. Eighteen and a half million people tuned in for that final episode. So that means that here in this great nation of laws, there are six million discrete humans, give or take, who are like, listen.

[00:30:35]

I don't watch Big Bang Theory, but I'm going to be there when they put it in the fucking ground. I want to make sure you stay dead. Stay dead, shell, though. Stay dead glasses. Stay dead. Other girl.

[00:30:48]

I just don't get with numbers like that. Why they canceled that? Why do they even can fly? They can cancel Big Bang Theory. Why? Well, because they wanted to rope in those six million people who are like I don't watch the show but I will be there when he dies. I want to be there with the plug is pulled on on on Green Lantern.

[00:31:08]

And I think the Flash and the flasher guy and everybody, why did they cancel shows like Big Bang Theory and Friends Guy?

[00:31:16]

I don't get it now, Travis, you know, being silly or savvy about what happens behind that beautiful lens that makes your friends in the crater.

[00:31:29]

And so this is how they do it, OK.

[00:31:33]

Hey, everybody, come with us to CBS as we mourn the passing of Big Bang Theory show.

[00:31:39]

You don't watch, but you should you people are going to ask you, where were you when Big Bang Theory went off the air? So please come and watch it.

[00:31:45]

And then you people, 11 million people were like, yes, yes, it sounds like a Friday night to me. And they showed up and they watched it. And then at the end, everybody else dies.

[00:31:56]

But Sheldon crawls inside of his reverse chrysalis and becomes young Sheldon. And now that's that's eleven million built in viewers of of young Sheldon.

[00:32:08]

Big Bang Theory never went off the air because it's carried on in the memories of the past of the age of the character of Sheldon.

[00:32:15]

The chrysalis is re forming around Sheldon. He will reemerge with a new Big Bang Theory. Yeah, once he has matured.

[00:32:26]

Know, I was going to point out that after two years they spun off a series called Frasier and that was also popular.

[00:32:35]

And I thought, why doesn't every popular sitcom do that? And then I remember that Joey was a concern for a while.

[00:32:41]

Love Joey.

[00:32:43]

And that kind of answered my question. Love, Joey.

[00:32:48]

Sandwiches, Italian sandwiches, sandwiches.

[00:32:56]

He had a lot of premarital sex, premarital sex, and he was always interested in people's well-being. He was always like, hey, how are you? How are you doing?

[00:33:09]

Uninvited sexual energy. But we loved it.

[00:33:15]

I guess we really liked all the gay panic that was actually in that country.

[00:33:22]

You're a guy. You know, that kind of. Yeah. Oh.

[00:33:25]

Oh. What are we all what if we had to be so gay? Oh, that kind of. You get it.

[00:33:31]

How aren't you doing? Because you're a guy, Joey. You ladies and gentlemen, as Joey's dad, Christopher Walken, apparently Don Griffin.

[00:33:41]

What would it be like if Joey and Joey's dad had just this just this one time?

[00:33:46]

Joey, my boy, as it turns out, if I try to do Joey from friends, I can sort of like sidestep my way into Christopher Walken, which is an exciting revelation for me.

[00:33:59]

Let's take a break. If I'm going to afford the box set of Joey on DVD. I need to earn some money.

[00:34:06]

If it's half of one disk, it's spent.

[00:34:09]

There's a label in the front of the casino. This is a sharp play.

[00:34:13]

If you are the type of person who just bought Joey on half a DVD, you shouldn't touch it because it's real sharp.

[00:34:19]

Please affix this to half of according to see what condition you get.

[00:34:27]

The other half of the disc is just all the episodes of the Cape and you can kind of glue it together.

[00:34:32]

And then as you spin, the Cape makes some special appearances until you find some serious way.

[00:34:39]

So looks like wearing that category, you fuck this half of the Joey DVD disk into sonic and knuckles expansion pack for second Genesis.

[00:35:01]

Hey, can I tell you all about me? Yeah, I'm hearing a lot of background activity. It makes me wonder if somebody makes it sound like somebody was rapping a present if I'm being honest. And I guess the question is, is it for me?

[00:35:12]

Yeah, it's underwear. Thank you.

[00:35:15]

Yeah. Happy day. Thank you. I will always accept underwear if it's me undies, because if it's not, it's trash. And that's my new motto that they can use whenever they want. They are the most comfortable underwear.

[00:35:25]

You're saying if a stranger walked up to you. Yeah. And said here, take this pair of Mondays, no questions asked.

[00:35:32]

You do it. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. They're pretty comfortable. Travis, I think it's kind of fucked up that in the middle of our commercial for me Ondes you would suggest otherwise.

[00:35:43]

But anyway I have, I have so many merchandise right now and what I really like about them is because it is the spookiest season of the year. I love to look scary down there.

[00:35:51]

And so I have some that have of fun. They're fun at the end of the day, but they are still pretty spooky.

[00:35:57]

Halloween prints. Yeah.

[00:35:59]

If you if you're into cats or blood or skeletons in a spooky context, they all tell you more skeleton underwear whenever no one's going to call the cops on you, they these are just they're so fucking soft and you never have to run out of money.

[00:36:15]

If you get to me, membership is a subscription that sends new pairs. I mean, these right to your door. Plus you can get site wide savings and exclusive sales. So if you wanna get fifteen percent off your first order and free shipping, go to me. Ondes Satcom, my brother. That's me on this dotcom, my brother. Can I tell you about Sedgwicks? Yep, I got the greatest shirt, like my new favorite shirt from Stich Fags and it we talk about with Sedgwicks, if you've heard us talk about before that like they get to know your style and your budget and the colors.

[00:36:48]

You like all of those things. And this felt like getting a gift from, like my best friend, where it was this really beautiful dress shirt that had kind of a little bit of like almost like a firework, like popcorn and Zenin. But as part of the fireworks and popcorn was like little tiny skulls. And there it was so fucking cool and cool. Yes, I love it.

[00:37:10]

And like I literally I saw it and I, like, ran into the room where Theresa was to say, like, look at this, because this is a personal styling company that makes getting the clothes you love effortless. And they really do get to know you. You can go through and say, like, I like this shirt. This is the kind of thing I want to dress for. You know, this is what I like to do, that kind of thing.

[00:37:28]

And it feels really personalized to you and you pay it.

[00:37:32]

Twenty dollars filing fee for each fix and it's credited towards anything you keep. So you don't have to keep everything in a box of it comes you try it on. You're like this didn't fit, you send it back and you can schedule it any time. There's no subscription required. Plus shipping returns and exchanges are easy and free. So get started today at Sedgwicks Dotcom.

[00:37:49]

Slash my brother and you'll get twenty five percent off when you keep everything in your fix.

[00:37:53]

That is stitch fix dotcom slash of my brother for twenty five percent off when you keep everything in your face. Stitch fix dotcom slash my brother. Are you feeling elevated levels of anxiety.

[00:38:06]

Do you quake uncontrollably even thinking about watching cable news. Do you have disturbing nightmares only to realize it's 2:00 in the afternoon and you're up.

[00:38:17]

If you've experienced one or more of these symptoms, you may have fenno news overload.

[00:38:23]

Fortunately, there's treatment. Hi, I'm Dave Holmes, host of Troubled Waters. Troubled Waters Helps Fight Fenno. That's because troubled waters stimulates your joy zone on troubled waters to comedians will battle one another for pop culture supremacy. So join me, Dave Holmes for two to two doses of troubled waters a month.

[00:38:45]

The cure for your news overload available on maximum fun dog or wherever you get your podcasts.

[00:38:54]

Do that how, oh, God, oh. Ba ba ba ba ba ba. How Travis run. I'm already gone. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't call want to Holland. Squad Goldman, Thornton, dun dun dun dun, you have to Monje squad car.

[00:39:18]

I don't like this guy. I love this guy.

[00:39:21]

Fuck him. Come to Munch. Oh, wait, wait. I formally invite you into our podcast. Oh, a youthful spirit. Oh, is he a vampire. I thought he was like a Frankenstein's monster.

[00:39:33]

Not just him in vampire. The donor Dracula.

[00:39:38]

They don't track Dracula. Count, don't you just change your name.

[00:39:46]

It's a modern made you so interesting.

[00:39:49]

It all has it done that Dracula.

[00:39:52]

I think he said I think he said donut. Dracula. Count Donut.

[00:39:56]

Oh so he's his real name has done a Dracula but his title.

[00:40:01]

My name is Kevin but knowing that could give you woman's power over me.

[00:40:06]

OK, can we just sit still for just to say just to explain, just explain what just happened. Just Justin in his mind was trying to run the calculus on whether or not the word doughnut sounded enough like count that he could say it in lieu of count.

[00:40:19]

And so he said out loud and turn it in.

[00:40:21]

I said, nobody's going to understand what that meant. So we switched it over to Count Donut, though not Yalea, though I think maybe Donatello's also nothing.

[00:40:31]

I think he did the best with what he had to work with.

[00:40:33]

Like, I'm not here. I'm the guest host for the B's Most Delicious Episode Government Squad's podcast within the podcast, Profiling the latest and greatest in Brian.

[00:40:50]

You think you're better at this than just this? Yeah. Thank you. I'm glad they kill me.

[00:40:58]

I'm glad you asked to sound a little bit like a crew from from the the Minions movies.

[00:41:05]

Oh, I love that scene there. Mordantly. I missed the first few and I didn't know where to jump ball.

[00:41:13]

You can get pretty lost if you just come in on Jéssica with me. Three letters, three now. I think so.

[00:41:19]

Well, they also need a side side stand alone Minyans film. I was so excited about the new Minions movie, but it's got delayed. The 2010 Davud.

[00:41:30]

Yes.

[00:41:30]

This coronavirus that you heard about this I am in trouble with this.

[00:41:35]

Everyone's in their homes. It's a challenging time with a mask on. It's probably hard to sink your teeth first into their. Yeah, you're wearing a mask, right?

[00:41:43]

Count I of course I am. I I'm immune to all the earthly pathogens, but I want to set a good example.

[00:41:54]

It's good to have you voted. Have you voted?

[00:41:58]

Yes, I voted long ago for the devil. I know now that it's presidential. It's the president. He's not. And there's a lot of Senate and House you must see this in of nowhere.

[00:42:11]

House was just living here like rent free, not paying taxes.

[00:42:14]

What the fuck is he talking to you from my home in Virginia.

[00:42:23]

Oh, OK.

[00:42:24]

Yeah, we need to let him speak because I am curious of what he's. Oh right. I forgot. This is a segue. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:42:31]

Well excellent. Thank you. I want to tell you about some new Halloween offerings. It is a spooky time of year, of course, some Halloween offerings from local donut chains there are in your United States of America.

[00:42:51]

OK, all right. Let them let them rip. I may I adopt the the typical cadence of a classic American as I read these.

[00:43:03]

We're going to be eighty seven minutes long. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I do not consent to that.

[00:43:10]

We can't have fuckin eight minutes of Dracula preamble. And then when it comes time for the fucking pearl inside the oyster, it's which is back to Justin. Absolutely not.

[00:43:18]

You made your soul to hit it just then. He's dead, hypnotized Griffin. So he still hears Dracula. And then you can speak in an American cadence. No, no.

[00:43:29]

He has spoken on highway, has used his will.

[00:43:32]

I'm going to go get some perhaps for the last time.

[00:43:37]

Are you going to kill Griffin just to notice sudden riches, be warned that move over cause they don't notice now heating up the battle for spicy superiority, proving that the number one brand in doughnuts can raucus spicy side. And Roncon, Robert Rock, a spicy side.

[00:44:01]

I love silence or I Love Your Head, Duncan has made up one of the most surprising tweets ever to rise from its kitchens.

[00:44:13]

The new spicy ghost pepper. Oh, not far off.

[00:44:18]

Yeah, a deliciously daring doughnut that delivers the heat with every boy eats the spicy ghost pepper doughnut is a classic yeast dough topped with a strawberry flavored icing that you could easily mistake for mowing going cap blubber.

[00:44:42]

Here are a bold blend of chi and then ghost pepper ghost pepper guy. Yeah, and finished with the red sending sugar for a sizzling look.

[00:44:56]

The spicy ghost pepper donut would be on the menu for only a few minutes, available beginning today for a limited time at participating thunking restaurants nationwide until December.

[00:45:12]

You got you got I know this like sort of solid baked treats are not really your jam count doughnut, but how do you think you'd want to tear one of those bad boys down?

[00:45:22]

Oh, I. I do not believe so.

[00:45:26]

I, I think sounds gross because it sounds cool.

[00:45:30]

I have the in my gut, my guts inside me, I have the I guess internal blood syndrome. I only can consume and digest blood. Okay.

[00:45:46]

So you're not immune to all diseases then.

[00:45:50]

It's not a disease to eat something that disagrees with you. Well tell that to Griffin if you.

[00:45:56]

But if if you put mayonnaise into your car's fuel, take a did you want to go to the doctor and say, my car is terribly sick and and I don't you assume that about me.

[00:46:14]

I might.

[00:46:15]

Well, OK, sorry. I'm sorry.

[00:46:17]

I was if I, if I ate tinfoil and started the cough blood, you wouldn't say get away from me. I don't want to get into. Yeah, I'm not sick.

[00:46:27]

I wanted to fire and say that there was something wrong with you. Halloween looks a little different this year and so do our donuts. While our classic bakery offering has plenty of crave worthy treats, we're excited to show our spicy side with a donut that packs a punch of heat with something sweet and can be enjoyed any time of day.

[00:46:52]

The fucking cowardice in that quote where they had to say, don't worry, we still have our normal, not disgusting, not spicy available.

[00:47:02]

Still with our scary good lineup of the spicy ghost pepper donut, Halloween DIY, Dunkin Donuts decorating kick kits and the fan favorite Spider Donut Dunkin is here to help our guests keep their Halloween spirit alive. Yes. If you're wondering if the opening line Halloween looks a little different this year is a reference to TV, this press release about new Donut Kines. Yes, that is correct. It is wholly inescapable. Now, hop on my back and say whisk you away to duck donuts.

[00:47:43]

We wonder where the fuck are we going? What's duck donuts?

[00:47:48]

There are ninety seven of them. It's from the people who brought you Duck Dynasty. All right.

[00:47:54]

I don't know if that is accurate, but I do know this is accurate. They've got the spooky bucks easy.

[00:48:05]

The popular spooky bollocks is all about the treats with twelve wonderful, colorful, unique flavor and topping combinations that are as photogenic as they are.

[00:48:16]

Scrumptious in a box in the spooky about this. It's also the only chance this year to try the three limited time flavors, pumpkin icing, Apple and Rousselot topping not the spookiest.

[00:48:38]

I mean, these inside the boxes, these frizzle top spooky boxes from the spooky box features or heirlooms, which is maple bacon with raspberry drizzle, bourbon thermos chocolate, the dicing with Oreo cookie pieces and gummy worms, blueberry TMT a.T.M, blueberry icing with powdered sugar and spider web, which is cinnamon sugar with a vanilla drizzle.

[00:49:10]

Rusted Julio founder and CEO.

[00:49:13]

I thought that was another flavor.

[00:49:16]

And also we have back by popular demand.

[00:49:22]

We have found and ground up another the Doolittle. If you or someone you know is a Rusty Junio, please do the right to balsiger. Submit your body so that oh by enjoy the sixth flavor.

[00:49:40]

Maybe just your nails, your hair clippings us. We crave you the most capable. Russ Julee of the year is back. No here is our spooky box is a joyful and gift a collection of delicious fun. That's the right gift. If you give it away you will not be arrested. It's served warm and ready for sharing. We all need something to look forward to right now. So yes, that's right. Ah, the second reference to the covid-19 crisis in an announcement about Halloween donuts.

[00:50:23]

Thank you so much for reminding me about the ongoing Batman. So appreciate that. And thank God it's all fixed now because of your delicious spoke about the box.

[00:50:35]

Really balances the whole thing out, doesn't it? Yeah.

[00:50:38]

OK, we all need something to look forward to right now. And the fun of Halloween can come soon enough for our petite bows and girls. Wow.

[00:50:51]

Fuck yeah. Do you think I said that out loud on this human mouth or do you think that's just a sad thing? And then at the end you can write like appetit.

[00:51:00]

Russ Russ did a terrible pun and reinforced the imaginary jingle by now.

[00:51:09]

Oh, now I really trusted Tullio. I have decided.

[00:51:17]

Oh man man. Count Donna, I doubted your skills when you first showed up. I didn't know what your name was, but I got to say you knocked it out of the park with the.

[00:51:28]

Thank you so much. So what's next?

[00:51:30]

Well, can you reanimate Justin's dead? Oh, he's dead right now. You can you emulate Justin Fusari, emulate him like you by pretending to be him? Oh, sure, sure. Of course.

[00:51:42]

I went walking Disney World. No, no dice.

[00:51:50]

No, I want to sleep labora. Sorry I come in.

[00:51:53]

Oh man. Just say something. I mean but try saying something about FMV games.

[00:51:58]

Yeah. Oh sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. Kid's fun game. Good times. Serious.

[00:52:04]

Serious I Ceradyne. Oh I love to crunch. What. The relaxing bowl of it. Yeah. That was actually pretty good.

[00:52:12]

You sound like a mix between Gilbert Gottfried and Olaf. Is that what you were going for. I have not seen.

[00:52:19]

I do not. You haven't seen marzen. No, I've seen Frozen. I don't want to go free.

[00:52:25]

Oh of course I have seen a lot of the live action.

[00:52:31]

Yeah. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. You say something about a big, beautiful book on Clay Johnson loves them.

[00:52:38]

Oh big beautiful Buick ultimately. Got that sonic right. Yeah. Thank you. All right.

[00:52:44]

See, it's better. It is an improvement. Oh yeah. Everything you're doing today is better.

[00:52:50]

How about why why don't you count on it. Take us into like ah housekeeping of course.

[00:52:57]

Although I have Oh. Help with the castle. Yes. Oh I could have Renfield do the housekeeping for you.

[00:53:08]

If you would like to sound more like Justin. That's a bass. That's a hard of for me isn't it.

[00:53:19]

Right. All that. We so appreciate you listening to the master and.

[00:53:25]

These two other cattle oh, Redfield, fuck you. Yeah, I'll get the counterattack, of course.

[00:53:36]

Yeah, I'm so that sucks. I agree.

[00:53:41]

I told him to refer to you as Catholic.

[00:53:46]

Now, are you feeling all right now that he's dead?

[00:53:52]

I've put him on top of Justin's body in a way that would make Joey very uncomfortable. I get it.

[00:53:59]

That's very funny. Hey, I think I count there's a podcast my wife and I are doing callback on where we watch the new season of Great British Bake Off. They've got three episodes out now. It's on your Spycatcher as well as on our YouTube channel. Do you think you'd want to check that out?

[00:54:16]

I would love to. I'm more of a fight in the videogames, though, and I love to listen to Justin's podcast The Best.

[00:54:24]

These Bompas should have thought about that before you did kill him. It's better known now I get to enjoy at least twenty five percent more. Russ Fresh think.

[00:54:36]

Yeah, it's, it's, it's Russ and it's Chris Plante talking about video game and used to be Justin in the too. But of course now he is drain's dead. Yeah.

[00:54:44]

Yeah of course it's on Spotify. It's very levet it count.

[00:54:50]

Donna, do you mind if I talk about all of the merch because the thought of you there's a lot and the thought of you taking the sort of time you would need to talk about all of it scares me a lot.

[00:55:01]

Can you can I at least talk about the jump scare people? That's appropriate. There is a point of just doing offensive fang face of me count.

[00:55:13]

Donatella, I regret allowing you to do that. The job scatter bin and you can purchase it if you want to reinforce some truly harmful stereotypes about my guide.

[00:55:25]

There's so much stuff at the Mac ROI merch site, which is MacAvoy, Match.com. There is kind of a suggestion was alive to talk about the horseshoe crabs shirt.

[00:55:36]

Yes. His medical podcast with his wife sorry, Videl Sydney celebrating horseshoe crabs and their incredible contribution to vaccines.

[00:55:52]

Yeah, did you know about this? No, I didn't know about that, that you can test for impurities in vaccines if you are using the blood, dried blood of a horseshoe crab.

[00:56:05]

That's exciting news. I'll make sure to do that. Coagulates. So sorry. I'm getting hungry now. Listen to me. You feed on horseshoe crab blood. There's blood in general.

[00:56:16]

There's also a tiger on the table pin in the month, which was designed by Sam Schulz. And sales of that benefit, the Marsha P. Johnson Institute and the Sylvia Rivera Law Project. There is candlelights ornaments designed by Lynn Doyle. There is Candlelights wrapping paper designed by Justin Gray.

[00:56:35]

There's a thanks for vibing and keeping it tight shirt, which I still need to get one of because they're one of my favorite pieces of merch we've ever put up on the store. And a portion of the proceeds for the shirt will go to the Young Center for Immigrant Children's Rights and yeah, that's all it. MacAvoy, Match.com. There's a there's a lot of stuff.

[00:56:55]

OK, a couple of quick things. We're doing a live stream of the game among us on Tuesday, the 20th at 9:00 p.m. Eastern Time. It's going to be on our MacWhite family channel. It's me and the brothers and probably other family members.

[00:57:07]

So make sure you check that out. Like we said earlier, were a podcast, how to book called Everybody Has a Podcast Except You. It's available for preorder. Now. It will give you like step by step guide to make sure that you're proud of. You can preorder that at the Macquarie podcast book Dotcom and comes out January 26th. Also, Adventure Zone, Crystal Kingdom, which is the fourth graphic novel in the series, is available for preorder.

[00:57:30]

Just go to The Adventures on Comic Dotcom that comes out July 13th, 2021. I think that's it.

[00:57:36]

Thanks to John Rogich and the long winters for these Easter theme songs set apart, drop the album putting their days to bed thanks to maximum fun and thank you to count Dunner again.

[00:57:44]

For, of course, is my honor. I'm sorry about your brother and his time, although it seemed like more of a business relationship at this point.

[00:57:53]

Yes, we both have a spare still.

[00:57:56]

Yeah, and you're doing better than he did, really. So it might be an improvement. Thank you. Here's another Yahoo! Buy sent in by Mark Palmer. The prospect.

[00:58:03]

I think it's what happened. Oh, man, he's not dead. There's this guy on top of me.

[00:58:10]

Oh, that's Count Donna. He's like Dracula, but for donuts and the guy on top of you is dead.

[00:58:15]

Renfield's Well, I guess Justin's alive, so you don't need to throw it at him. Oh, good. About this segment. All right.

[00:58:25]

Our condolences to his wife that's without context will seem extremely disturbing.

[00:58:31]

You can just tweet account, though. Not yet. It's going to be somebody that we have no quality control on.

[00:58:41]

Big, big, big ups to trap.

[00:58:44]

Anyway, Merritt sent this in. Thanks, Meredith. Yahoo! Answers user Ramiro who asks and I'm going to read the question and the additional details because it's important.

[00:58:51]

John Travolta Dancing and Pulp Fiction.

[00:58:54]

How well did he do on a scale of one to five?

[00:58:57]

I give him a four. He seems like he gave it a good effort and had a fun time.

[00:59:01]

But maybe you feel otherwise.

[00:59:07]

My name is Striker. I have a stack.

[00:59:09]

Right. I'm Griffin MacWhite. Fucking five oh oh oh six. We have another brother. May kiss your dad on the lips. Maximum fun dog comedy and culture, artist owned, audience supported.