The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only, so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool, baby?

That's the song. Something beautiful. A small acquaintance has blossomed into a. I could have never said what was coming for me, and this is my life. It feels like. Hello, everybody, and welcome to my brother, my brother and me, and if I show the modern era, I'm my oldest brother, Justin MacAvoy Wolf, Wolf, that's me chasing my own tail.

I'm old dog Travis Mackerel. You're my brother.

I'm jealous of Travis this thing because he's been doing it. Yeah.

You ever see this? It isn't that you ever see this video. Ay ay ay ay.

You're missing one of the videos on Facebook where the people share like I took a picture of myself every day for ten years.

Yeah, I see that. And I'm like, fuck that looks cool. I wish I could have done that. But then I think that's too late. I can't stop you guys.

You guys lack a commitment to really anything but let alone bits. And that's why if I start doing a bit, even if everybody hates it, I'll just keep doing it.

You know what I mean? Yeah, it's a good bit. I'm Griffin McElroy. You could start doing it now.

But, you know, the best time to start doing an intro bit is yesterday and the second best time is today.

Damn, that's good shit. Except we weren't recording yesterday, so then I would have heard then what was I doing.

So do we have an intro? I thought we'd just check in as, oh, OK, now, sorry, mine was more of a faithful. Yeah, but I have to I have to imagine otherwise why do we start recording?

There's a kind of deal.

There's an emptiness in your heart, emptiness in this in our heart and in the show.

Speak on that grave and follow that impulse.

OK, well, and when we're doing this show, we rely on on the bit on the bits to sort of float us through the hour, right?

Yeah. Yeah. But without the bits, it's just the three of us sort of standing in a big white empty room.

And it's so bright in here and it's bright because it's exposing us. We are nude because there's no bits to hide our shame behind. And there's a huge emptiness here now.

I get that Griffin but maybe that means that this is where we'll do our best work. I think for too long, the three of us have relied literally for the entire length of the show, have relied on, you know, bits, Yahoo! Answers, questions, having ideas, these kinds of things. We've relied on that too heavily. So what if we just did a whole episode where we didn't make any jokes, we didn't come up with any good ideas, we didn't have any thought starters or anything.

We just kind of actually as liberating as that sounds, I feel like we've unintentionally tried that a few times the last few years and intentionally tried that, too.

And it didn't go good. The response hasn't been great. We saw a whole episode about war with Grandpa, didn't we? Yes, we did do the whole episode about war with Grandpa that nobody.

But that was the maximum artifice. So this is the other way around, right? Oh, there's a minimum artifact like this. Yeah.

With this spring is here. Oh shit. Yeah. But now all about all of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Spring is here and that means one thing around this time, this neck of the woods, it's time for spring cleaning to get out some of the parts of this podcast that are not working.

Oh them out dumpster. Yeah.

And you know, I don't know if we want. No, no. You don't want to bring in new stuff by your spring cleaning. You just want to clear out some of the crowd. Yeah.

There's so lots under the bed here. Let me see. Can I got something that's I'm just immediately immediately I'm going to get one out. OK, just let me crank it. Let me crank one out. Gross one jail metal.

So that was the last one of those there that I'm getting rid of in the spring cleaning. I'm getting rid of pretending like I'm ending my squad. I'm not going on squad, I'm getting rid of I'm sunsetting the bit where it's at its final days. OK, so so that that bit is now retired, as they say on blank check. We're hanging. It's Jersey up in the sun. Yeah.

Me and Travis still make them jokes about money. No, it's it's done. The continuity is done. It's important to reset continuity for our show. Right. So people knew new listeners aren't lost.

So that's not a thing anymore. I don't say that. Sure. I'd like to get rid of something that's been bothering me for a while. Yeah.

The part of the show.

And it's kind of like after we've made everything right, but we still talk for like another five minutes. Yeah. Before the I so I would like just get rid of the closing. Interesting. So I just want to end whatever the last thing is.

So say a joke. Right and right. Kelsey Grammer is Dick and then the MP three stops. Yeah.

All right. Yeah. Yeah. You know I think we can leave the silence.

Oh OK. So that we don't get people like messaging us like I think the there's got cut off all right. But we just I don't think we need closing stuff anymore.

OK, interesting. I'm going to say this, and this is a huge one and may actually be the most difficult one to actually stick to. And this is not for the boys because I do not think I could muzzle them like this in in in good in good faith. But I am never going to say the word Fraizer again on this. Oh, wow. We're sunsetting.

Frazier And there's a lot of our younger fans who I think are going to be fully fucking stoked about that because they don't they don't know who this old North-Western fucking nosey jagoff is. His name's Frege. His name. Is a word I won't be saying on the show anymore. Yeah, and that's it, and that's it.

Hey, can I just say, Girvan, that people are going to think that that was a really good at it by Rachel right there.

Nikonov That was just an amazing selfie. Yeah, it was very radical and it was not intentional.

I fully was about to say that North-Western gentlemens, it sounded like it sounded computer clean. Yeah. Good luck with that. All right. I it's one last thing I do want to cut from the show. I just want to cut wherever we say the word this. Oh, I don't want to say that word anymore anyway. And if we do, we'll put a quarter in the jar.

OK, that's going to rack up pretty fast track. Yeah, but then we'll spend that on ice cream, OK? We can keep doing all of our great bits like where we do stuff that's just for people to use on Tick-Tock, right? That's right. We do all the time.

But now you fucked it up trava possibly the whole show because now I'm going to be thinking constantly for the rest of my life about that word and how I can avoid saying it about this.

Yeah. God, sorry.

That's a aquarter one of the things that I've seen a lot of people complaining about I'd like to discuss sunsetting is the very lengthy introduction sequences. Oh, they're kind of rambling. People complain sometimes.

I've seen this you guys horrible in me. But it's true. I've seen people complain about the fact that we don't do enough questions.

Is that I. I'm not kidding.

I don't know if it's a problem or not. Like, it doesn't bother me because they know we've been doing this for like eleven years. Right. We've answered basically everything.

It's thought starters and also nobody has new problems. They just have the same problem.

We want to leave tired of it at leave this time. Once you leave, the person they want to ask out has blue hair instead of like red hair or whatever. But it's all the same.

Well, that's it's reductive. No, you're being reductive. What I'm saying is everybody has the same problem and it is brothers. What's a leaf. Right. What to do. Other yells or how make friends. No, you Travis.

You're not saying. I'm fucking saying there's a bad attack. You're going on the same wavelength as us fork.

I guess I just am kind of an introvert and I've liked being inside of what you have been driven mad without Travis, without the incredible power of people applauding for him. Travis is whether to endure.

He's like fucking Gary Oldman in Dracula. When he has it fed, he's just lurking around.

He's like one of the little snot creatures in Ursula's lair in The Little Mermaid.

Yeah, Taibe actually calls me a Tinkerbelle for that very reason. Yeah. Without people applauding for me, I am dying. Yeah. All right.

Well, let's do it. Oh, thank you. Oh yeah. Hooray for you.

So we're going to do actual questions because this is this is this is real.

You know, it's like seventy five cents.

By the way, what is just said the word my father and I are expecting our first baby in September.

Congratulations. After our first midwife appointment, my wife asked me if I wanted to catch the baby at delivery. Dubberly Brothers, what is the best technique to catch my child and not experience a big oops on day one?

This is from Butterfingers Buchheit, Akron. And pal, you don't know. Listen, don't listen. I want to do it into a question, an entire episode. We're here. We're going to have a lot of fun and have a lot of fun. You should probably just do it. However, the very nice midwife says you should do it right.

When when I was born, we did a scheduled C-section.

And all morning, as we prepared for this, at least three different medical professionals asked me when we remove the baby, yeah, do you want to watch? And I said at least three different times, no, not on your life. Yeah. Then a fourth medical professional who failed to ask you that question got involved in the delivery business.

And when the baby was removed, held it up to me like Rafiki did Simba.

And I was like, put that thing away, sat down, wipe it down, what are you doing?

And here's the thing that you're not expecting Butterfingers Bucchi in Akron. When a baby comes out, they're going to be a little blue, amber look fucked up babies when they come out.

It's fucked up, man.

And I'm looking at it going, oh, no. And now I say, not yet. I would say my daughter not. But in that moment. Yeah. Oh, no. And the doctor and all the everybody else just kept saying like, oh, good. Color looks good, looks good.

I don't like it because that's a good color. So here's my point question. Ask her you're going to have a lot on your. You don't want to be in there, you're going to have a lot on your mind, you don't want to be in there. I mean, you got to be in there and you got to be supportive. But like, I can't imagine, like like imagine your Major League Baseball catcher and also ball pitcher, like some kind of monster.

Yeah, there's a lot of stuff in that room that if you look at it. It's going to fuck you up pretty bad, and so you need to be you've got to keep your head on a swivel in there. I do not think catchin well, OK, they're going to have to catch this baby.

So what's the best technique? Maybe some kind of OK, you're going to get seven overlarge people and a hula hoop with like some fabric stretched out.

I love that because that can like catch people jumping out of windows if the building was on fire.

Right. So sure thing.

Do you ever actually seen that happen where they stretch out the big the big trampoline and then people jump out of the buildings and they catch them in the trampoline?

That's got to happen, right? Don't say surely. Have you seen it? Have you seen it? I've seen it in cartoons. Know Travis? Yeah. We've talked about this. I see I see Mr. Game and watch do it.

But that's only true to life.

You know, if there's one thing that I remember from middle school where you're gonna want to do get a little parachute attached to the baby ahead of time, get some cushioning around it. Yeah, right. And so that way, even if it falls right, a second story that cushioning that maybe you can, like, suspend it in the middle of a structure with, like some rubber bands.

Here we go. Now, Travis is building fucking a science fair project where you see how high up you can drop the egg from. Yes, exactly.

But with a baby C so, yeah, if if we're not, is that not what that test was supposed to be for was a prototype for this exact moment.

Yeah. Hey can I do Yahoo! I'd love that this one was like that whole time.

Justin didn't say anything about how he would catch a baby. Yeah, I'm not going to but think about how much great free time you'll have when you are in the court battle of your fucking lives.

OK, but don't listen to us.

You don't have to do any of that. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's enough. That's enough to get that out to do it.

Then pop this one sentence by Graham Robock. Thank you, Graham. It's Yahoo Answers user good. Vegeta who asks. Should the NFL create a Super Super Bowl if if the team who lost the Super Bowl had better regular season record than team who defeated them, they can ask for a Super Duper Bowl rematch. It's played in a special, gigantic arena with lots more fans.

If the team with better regular season record doesn't want to challenge to a rematch for Super Duper Bowl out of belief, they would lose again and the next season they could use that challenge left over to claim a first seed playoff spot with first round by. Interesting now, OK.

I like the concept, but I don't think that they're executing it the way I would choose. I think a Super Bowl, right? You have the number one and number two teams. Right. And whoever wins should then in the Super Duper Bowl, one team play against whoever they lost or whoever lost. And the third team right now is one team against team.

Oh, that's great. Right.

So it's like, OK, well, you could be that one team. Let's see how far we can go with this. And then, you know, if they win, we go to the super duper extra mega ball. Right. And that's one team versus three teams.

Then you can see where I'm going with OK, let me hit you with a twisted Super Bowl. Who wins? Whoever won the last one? Tampa Bay. It's all right. Yeah, sure. OK, Bucs win. But then the Bucs have to compete against the winner of the World Series.

OK, from that year, this is the Super Duper Bowl or the winner, the greatest of all the each of the sports gets to compete against the top sport. Oh, yeah. For like athlete like this athlete compete in football or in baseball trivia, baby. Oh, yeah.

I'm meeting of them right now. I'm flat footed, you see. I like oh boy.

I like if we did it by we I mean the National Football League, which I am not a representative, but I would I think the NFL should follow the WWE in how they do it, where they do the the money in the bank and whoever grabs the briefcase, they can exchange that to fight the champ right then and there whenever the fuck they bring the briefcase in.

So I don't know what this is, the all star game. Whoever wins the all star game can like immediately after the Super Bowl, the confetti is flying there. Liftin Tom Brady up on his shoulders.

And he's you know, he's he's he's thinking about fucking a mattress.

He's doing his whole thing that he fucking does. And then but you hear not so fast. And it's the all star team.

And they get to they get to do it now. And that's a great strategy because the Buccaneers are so tired.

I'm going to take it and turn it just a little bit of, OK, so the Buccaneers have just one Tom Brady on everyone's shoulders. Think about fucking a mattress right then. Not so fast. Who's that is the Dark Buccaneers. Oh, it's like they're exact replicas, right? They have to beat their clowns. We love this. I always love this. Right.

It's the best part of like a video game where you have to fight yourself and like, you move to the right and they move to the left. That's on talk. That's going to. Yeah, that's good.

Or we could just go from fantasy seven style where after the they lift up Tom Brady up on his shoulders, he's thinking about having good sex with a mattress and they're celebrating.

But then he looks back on the field and he says, set me down. And he slowly walks back out on the field where the Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes is there and he's shirtless. And we do it several style where if you really want to win the Super Bowl, you really want to win the Super Bowl.

We settled this one on one quarterback versus quarterback, young QB streetball, just like we used to play where one quarterback. Everybody's got giant heads, throw it to to just throws it down the street and then you run and just try to grab, OK, they have to pick someone from the crowd.

All right.

So that way, you know, it's like this is all about quarterback skill, right? We're going to pick because they're OK. Oh, here's the thing. Sometimes when the Super Bowl is done right, the quarterbacks get a lot of credit. I feel so empty after the Super Bowl is done right now. I was neither here before the next Super Bowl. Yeah.

It was bad for like the other members of the team. Right, because the quarterback gets so much credit. So when the Super Bowl is done, we switch quarterbacks.

We play again, exact same game, we swap quarterbacks. Now we see how this game goes.

I still going to probably reflexively pass to their guys. Well, OK, we OK now the quarterbacks are going to rotate to safety and everybody else is going to move up one spot and we play again.

OK, right.

That's maybe it's punter I don't want to downplay because I couldn't do any of them, but there has to be a like and you're at this end, there's somebody on that team who's there's got to be somebody on every team in the major sports who sucks shit.

But they just helping like man I hope I don't go in. Yeah that's good. That was me in every sport I ever played up to this point.

I'm just happy to be here. We solved it. Yep. It's an easy one. Yeah. I wish they were all but all slid down that smoothly because normally there's a little bit more of a challenge.

Can I. So real quick, this isn't really a question, but you know, I go through the the emails and from time to time, I think it's important to do just a little PSA here, folks, about getting your question on the show.

Yeah. And this this question stuck out to me.

OK, I will read the body of the email and then I will read the subject line. The body of the email reads title says it all, thanks, brothers, wet and wild in Alberta. OK, and then the subject line is, how do I stay dry at the dentist? Yeah, that's a good that's it.

Because you've not it's a mystery, a puzzle box for us to twist and crack open, I would argue.

Here question ask her the title does not quite say at all. No, there's definitely a lot, there's a lot left unsaid here. Yeah.

Maybe a little too much room for us to play.

I would say a little bit to Lucy Goosey here with how one might be getting a little wet and wild at the dentist.

Yeah, that's not great.

That's not a place where moisture of any kind is acceptable now because you they you put it it goes up the tube that it sucks it out fast.

Do you guys wish you had one of those just go in in your mouth all day.

Yes. Yes.

I'll never forget I was a child at the dentist and one of the the dental hygienist cleaning my teeth said aloud, You are the speediest kid I've ever worked on. And that is a thing that's really stuck with me over the years.

Yeah. One Spidy kid. Yeah. Yeah. I think a comment like that offhandedly delivered by a professional is the kind of thing that shapes a young man.

And you say that's somebody who would know. Yeah, me like a stranger, somebody who would know.

It's really stuck with me. My housemate and I have recently been getting more into puzzles.

I'm sorry, I was just in one time.

Is that a weekend murder mystery? Ravenwood Castle now extinct shadow stalkers, murder mystery crew and the murder mysteries. And there was one guy there who of his own volition. He decided he would style himself as a puzzle master and he would not through the organizers of the event. He was sort of like a rogue puzzle master columnist, these fucking things.

It was it was my my Bonnaroo.

And he made himself a Roe puzzle master, and he would just stand up and announce, I have more puzzles.

And they were good. They were good.

Were you there for that guy? Yeah, he was there the only one.

I loved it fucking the greatest the greatest thing in the world. Turned out dude worked at the meat counter at Kroger. Fantastic. And he and he gets this one weekend with a puzzle master Grace and he can cook it.

He sees that opportunity, loved it, puzzles how he would say every time.

And it made me excited about puzzles. Sure. That was my favorite thing about going to those things, just because the people seizing the opportunity, like that person who with no affiliation to the organizers, dressed as the werewolf and scaring people in the woods.

So it's just a werewolf and ran around the woods. Yeah, he just wanted to do that, scare the shit out of me.

One time I was the murder mystery show soccers and someone stood up just as Johnny Depp, pirate captain Jack Sparrow. And his name is Dave, I think. And he stood up and I noticed that he had been there a few minor mysteries in that exact same costume. And then he stood up at the last day of the murder mystery. Everybody has to stand up without their costumes on and see who they really are. And he stood up and he was still dressed as Johnny Depp pirate.

He said, I have come to realize that Dave is the costume from fuck. Yeah, yes. Fuck yeah. Go in her life. Reclaim Captain Jack Sparrow.

You are a bad man. It's a reclamation project. We're taking you back. You can't have him, Johnny. We're taking back Captain Jack Sparrow any time we see weirdly photorealistic Johnny Depp at the end of the Pirates of the Caribbean, right at Walt Disney. I do. There is a part of me that recoils slightly anymore.

You are taking it back. And now he's Dave.

There was a point in history where people are like, I hear Johnny Depp sometimes sneaks on to and appears on it. And it was set in a much different way than it would be said now may now be.

I heard.

So times when the movie is Johnny Depp sneaks onto the Pirates of the Caribbean.

OK, so we put together a really rad thousand piece of a bunch of colorful scoops of ice, took a lot of effort over a week or so.

Now it's just chilling out, taking up a good half of our coffee table. How long do we keep it assembled before we undo all our hard work and throw it back in the box? Was the proper amount of time to bask in our accomplishments versus maybe wiping the surface area back. That's from Pittsburgh. Puzzler's. OK, visit.

I totally understand this question because you have kind of like it if you don't do it right away, which is so disheartening, which can really destroy your career, then it's like, how long is enough to take are you.

I have this feeling. Are either of you the type of person that would like shellac a puzzle, you find puzzle glue by some puzzle, you know, and like frame it because you're never in a million, because the glue eventually will also wear off and the puzzle will will erode.

I would instantly take apart the pie. You've wasted your time, right? Making a puzzle is a waste of time, but you've wasted the time in the way you choose.

And there's fucking power in that right. I decided I'm going to waste my time exactly like this. I want to make a picture of ice cream no one likes. And then when you're done with it, you know what you do. You spit in the face of mortality and say, and now I'm going to take it apart because I can because I'm alive and I'm a human being. I'm going to disassemble it right back in the fucking box. Just go ahead and burn my time.

And I want you should be allowed to fucking destroy it. There should be instructions on the box.

I put it together and once it's done, look at it for one uninterrupted minute and then put it down the fucking garbage disposal, baby.

Yeah, throw it up in the air. Can you imagine the going through the air and then just punching right through the middle of it.

Oh, you've earned it. Better yet, charge somebody to come do that cause.

Oh that's true. And then say like, hey, do you want like have the feeling of honest to God like destroying five hours of my life. Here you go. Twenty five dollars.

Right. Twenty five dollars. And then you can use that on your next puzzle.

This is what I'm saying now. It's a gig economy and that's how we keep things going. You know what I mean? Your jobs creator.

Now I am here from puzzler. There's no you or E it's just puzzler. Yeah. I'm here to destroy your puzzle.

I want to destroy something beautiful. Yes. Right this way. Right it is here. We made it. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't used to look like this. It used to be many smaller pieces of ice cream picture.

Do you want me to do the lights any certain way or. No thank you. I would like you to. Would you mind leaving you leave the room.

Oh you don't want me to wander. No, no, no, no. I'm not one of those. No, no, that's not really my thing. No shade. But like, I really I, I just want to take it apart piece by piece.

One by one. Oh, sorry. Just before you leave, are you ever going to want to put this together or is it OK if I just eat a few or does that bother you. It's six or seven.

I'm never going to put it together again. OK, and reassembling the same puzzle. Oh, nightmare.

I can't remember what it looks like. Are you kidding me? It's right here on the box. Bob, Bob, stop. What are you doing?

I can't do this with kids our age like there.

If if it's not a one shot, it it's not something I finish in one night. There's no point I can leave it in the highest cabinet. Yeah, it's a shelf and they would sense it and destroy it. Here's the thing that I learned.

I used to do puzzles a lot and then I realized I could just like print pictures off the Internet if I wanted to look at ice cream. Yeah.

And it was done way faster. Yeah. Or you can go now. I knit, which is like putting together a puzzle that can keep you warm. You can't do that with like a jigsaw puzzle. You could try but people will laugh at you.

Do they have jigsaw puzzles that turn out that are useful at the end? Wouldn't that be cool?

Yeah, I guess it's kind of IKEA that is sort of. Yeah, basically IKEA.

We're going to take a quick break and we're going to head into the money zone and then we'll tell you about some of our beautiful sponsors. Then we'll be right back with more great content. Stay tuned after the break, because we got a lot more coming up. We don't have a single second of it right here on my brother, my brother and me. We'll be right back.

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Bambas Dotcom. My brother we're having. Oh no.

Did I go. Did you have another fugue state. What happened. OK, I'm going to do a funny one. No, no you did great.

Why was so good. Travis, we're so proud of you. That's going to be the first ad that we actually get paid for, which is dope.

I did the ad already, but I was going to talk about the toe jam and stuff. Oh, man.

Well, I'll try to bring a little bit of irreverent South Park humor here to Squarespace, how you feel about, OK, if you can fit Turgeman somewhere, it would just mean the world to me.

Griffin Yeah, I'll do it in Peter Griffin's voice, I think.

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Now give me that out with a beautiful website line one more time government. It's Peter Griffin having an existential crisis. What about Griffin MacRay having an existential crisis? Hi, I'm Beth, and I'm Theresa, and we're the hosts of One Bad Mother, a podcast about parenting. Parenting is hard and we have no advice, but we do see you doing it all if you like to do it. Didn't we have a bumper sticker a while back that was like a if you did.

That's what I thought it was. Honk if you're doing it. Why did we not ever make fun? We didn't like them, I think is still in the Max one store in Hong Kong. You're doing it. Thanks. So are you.

Each week we'll be here to remind you that you're doing a good job.

You can find us on maximum fun. Not for Hong Kong to DOS.

Hey, can I do a Yahoo! Yes, please, no, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad.

Nickelodeon Squad. This is a squad. It's under much is the money. What is the Mod Squad. It's the Mod Squad. It's the squad. But it is the Mod Squad. The Mod Squad. It's the Mod Squad. Welcome to the squad.

Finish the finish the bite. Finish the bite.

Hi, welcome to the Mod Squad. It's a podcast. Then a podcast profiles the latest trends in brand eating.

And it's not going anywhere. No baby is here to stay.

No. Oh, Pringles.

This is I'm going to I want to start covering lefties in more detail. This is not about lefties in Netzer.

They're like unique, unique tokens that you could trade online like Pokemon cards. But they're bad for the planet because I use a lot of resources.

And Pringle's launching NFTE along with Taco Bell, I think real I I've kept myself actually not going to do that. OK, I'm not I'm actually not Gulleson like Planet Money or something.

But the first response to Pringle's launching their NFTE is for someone just said the planet is dying.

Pringle's it's very legit. Oh fuck. Yeah. So this news in Pringle's has plucked a new flavor from the far reaches of the gaming world, answering a question pondered by many Halo fans.

What would a MOOP burger taste like? I don't know if that is OK. So, Griff, you I've played Halo. You've played all the halos. You co-founded the video gaming website, covered video games for ten, fifteen years, however long it's been.

You don't know you don't know what MO is. This is the wildest pull I've ever seen for a video game crossover product. This is Pringle's WAVY Moop Bergert.

Now, Amoa is the big flightless bird like creatures with two legs, wings, scales from the neck up and a lizard like head similar to the extinct bird from New Zealand of the same name.

Suggest a double check. What the lead on this story would have us believe is that one. Anybody remembers the name of that, but two whilst playing the game and seeing said large road with scales and whatnot, their thought was I wonder what that tastes like for those not fluent in the video game.

Haloes, lower moer. Or like I said, the bird is native to the Halo planet called Reach and is the signature dish of a restaurant chain in that of fuck.

Just the master chief burger. I'm an idiot. Give me a master cheeper with Cortona sauce. I'm a fucking idiot.

The bird is native to the Halo planet and the signature dish of a restaurant chain in that universe. So the gaming community is continually curious about what moer might taste like in burger form.

Really, this is like the longest fucking walk ever. And what's what's your problem?

Halo chips is there is supposed to be a new Halo game and now there's not. And the only thing that makes sense is that Pringle's had already made all the chips there.

Like, listen, we can't wait for them to finish the new Halo game, then fail.

We have to make the even more insane play. I've just releasing these chips apropos of nothing, for no reason, nothing.

Through Pringle's exclusive partnership with Halo, the new mole burger flavor brings the food item from the Halo universe to life with an interstellar twist on the much enjoyed, sometimes written and often misunderstood mole bird. This bird is based on a real bird that went extinct in New York and now you could eat it.

All right.

This is so glossy in a pretty nice Pringle's. I always thought there is not a paragraph in here explaining why it doesn't just taste like burger. I'm going to lose.

Fuck, I'll hit you with that. Listen, they did a baconator. They know what they're doing. They're expert. No, but this is what I'm saying. It's like, OK, go on, go on.

Thank you. I'm just mad Justin.

I'm just Kalyvas as one of the greatest fan bases within the gaming world. OK, so we had to create a flavor that would deliver on a taste.

Fans could previously only imagine the famous Moa Burger, but isn't that what any taste in Halo?

Right, like I don't know anything in Halo taste like Gareth McGuire, senior director of marketing for Pringles.

This is nothing. Yeah, but none of it's any nothing. Even just gamers on this podcast don't know what you're fucking talking about.

I, I've learned more about what it would be like to lick master chief's helmet. Yeah. The fun to eat that or the inside of it.

Check this out. Let me flip this into a successful business plan. Let me flip it. We have taken we have extracted the DNA of the extinct mole bird and put it into a chip, so. You can eat it to know what this long dead animal tastes like. That's awesome, because that opens the door to Pringles immortality. Like when I when I die, don't roll me up and smoke me. Turn me into a potato slurry mash, slice that baby up into extrude them and shot me down.

I miss Griffin.

He died 500 years ago, but I'll taste him on the Pringle. That's the technology. In case you're curious.

They deliver a bowl crunch because their way they feature a blend of flavors, including garlic, sweet ginger and savory beef.

OK, Bite finishes with a craving slight heat from chili pepper and red pepper that will take taste buds on a journey to new star system.

You, Gareth said, we pride ourselves in creating insanely accurate flavor combinations.

This is a fun one to develop.

While Moer Berger has a flavor that appeals to everyone, we expect this to be enjoyed and maybe even collected by Halo fans. Oh, boy. Got it.

Sometimes this segment, guys, sometimes this one goes down. They're only at Wal-Mart. Pringle's tweeted about them on March 3rd. And I got some replies for you got to the tweet, I got Sarah replies, I'm just going to read some of that applies to the tweet about the chips, the ships that are only at Wal-Mart. And based on the spaceman bird, I'm having some.

But after eating too many, it gets really hot. What the hell? Please help me.

Help me master of them holding the chip as if maybe you were doubting it. See, I feel like there's two types of people in this world, people who play Halo and people who shop at Wal-Mart. And there's not much overlap between the two.

I would argue quite a few Halo players shop at Wal-Mart.

That's not even a judgment call. Just stay. In fact, a lot of people shop at Wal-Mart and a lot of people play Halo. The chance that there's not much of an overlap is a small right.

Are these in Canada, too? Unfortunately, says Pringle's, yes.

Limited time product is only available in the US.

Oh, come on. I want to. I wanted to try them out. It tastes so awesome. Please let us keep them then. Wal-Mart says, Thanks, Vic. Glad you like it.

That's the only way. I'm Wal-Mart. I'm three hundred and fifty billion market cap. Wal-Mart just responded to your tweet about the space.

Check it with an unenthusiastic and noncommittal answer, I might add.

Thanks. No, but I said can I keep them? OK, thanks, dude. Please, please. I need this fancy Pringles. You saved my life. Please don't ever get rid of them. Wow, this is Pickle. Ijo says delicious than Pringle says there's a high probability your taste buds will enjoy reaching capital are reaching new heights with no burgers. Pringles. See what Wal-Mart Pickle ijo rioters burned down my Wal-Mart.

Whoa, what a journey to get. Get this. No response from Frankel's that. Hey, just a quick note, Steve.

Next time, don't engage with people. I don't. We we learned that a long time ago. This isn't our first time with pickle eyed Joe.

But I will thumbs up. And then Pringle says you're about to witness the newest Pringle's flavor plucked from the far reaches of the Halo verse run.

Don't walk to your nearest Wal-Mart or we'll kill you, kid, Skull says. Already got some young and Pringle's response.

Congratulations. You are among the very few so far who have taken their taste buds to new galaxies by trying Pringle's Mowatt Burgher then kids call says, I glad you guys are still kicking around in twenty five to oh sir it's just Rice says ah that every store I'm pretty sure we've established ah just at Walmart Jake says can I order them online.

Nope.

Got to get them available in Poland.

I don't know. Do you got Walmart there. Where are you. America. I've been surprised by the answer with others so I'll just ask, are these vegan.

They're not big. Oh they're not. They got moer, they got moer flakes in them, they're wicked, not vegan, super not vegan, they got moer.

Has anyone has anyone tweeted I want moer them all. That's good travel. Thank you. I'm a professional comedy person. Yeah.

Hey, can I do that. Yahoo! Now. Are there more incredible tweets about this.

How the incredible things about that. Because I'm excited about this one. Several people have said, thanks everybody. Yahoo!

Answers user Jake who asks in the category entertainment and music, music, rap and hip hop, should we get rid of the calendars and dates and just go with the flow?

Oh, so. Rad, that kicks, oh, man, it's tough for me to even feign enthusiasm because I feel like how we wouldn't be recording right now.

Oh my God, Griffin, you're so uptight. You're afraid of missing doctor's appointments. Just go to the doctor when your body needs. You know what I mean? OK, this is the. Oh, what's that? You're late for brunch. No, you'll get to brunch when it's time for you to have brunch and maybe your friend will be there and maybe they won't. You know what I mean? Maybe I was late to my job interview, Derek, because I wasn't ready to be interviewed yet.

You know what I mean, Dad? Yeah, OK. I don't feel like going to college today, Dad. You're just a rock in the middle of the flow. While I am Alief, I'm a leaf. I'm traveling down the the river and can I borrow 20 bucks.

Give me twenty dollars. I just need it for Pringle's.

Give me twenty dollars now because I don't really do time.

So that's not a linear sense that you're into. So I need that right now.

I'm just saying what does it matter if you think it's Monday and I think it's Wednesday, if you give me twenty dollars, you know what I mean. Like what's, what's it really matter if I cleaned my room when I'm really stoned, we're going to have to restructure society.

I feel like to pull this off. No jobs, no school, no doctor's appointments. What's other things?

You know, birthdays, no dates. Right. So like no birthdays, no holidays. It's just there is now.

There is now. OK, now you're talking to me.

Yeah. Yeah. This is so good. And that would be dope.

That would be so rap for us because then like we could just like release episodes when it's when they are needing to be released, when we have one in us to make it.

And not immediately after doing a very, very long the adventure zone recording like an hour later, we would just feel it and fucking do it.

Now, that would be a fun way to explain to someone why you didn't like pay your bills. Hey, I noticed you're late on this, am I or perhaps the bill did not mean to people there would be no bills. Oh, OK. Right, right, right. Because when because we're all just going with the flow.

The people who make the electricity and bring it to your house will come knock on your door and say it's time and then you'll give them whatever money that you have.

Oh, that's great. They'll make the energy to give to me and I have, I don't know, grown some wheat or something.

So I'll give them that energy they brought us and Mike. Right.

And then you say you're going to want to cook that for one hour and then they'll say, what's an hour? Because there's no time. So cooking things is going to get pretty fucked up. Pretty bad.

So only raw foods, which is good because that's what we should be doing anyway. How raw though.

Griffin Raw, raw, raw.

What a question. Sunday morning is the day that I clean the house, OK? So how will I know how sturdy House House got dirt all started to clean, it would have had just a duty to set an alarm for when to take a shower?

Yeah, no, no, you do. And your body tells you to wait for your house, to tell you to clean it like your house is your bowels in the cleaners, the shit.

And everybody's body does have a point where they look around at their environment and just goes. And that's when. That's when. Yeah.

That's when you take a shit. Yeah.

Well, now do you set an alarm for when it's time to wake up.

Yeah. No, I actually don't do that because my super body won't let me sleep.

Oh it's like your body knows better than old Mr. Clock over there, huh. So my body's going with the flow, but I haven't enjoyed that.

Oh. I kind of wish it would rain today. Hey, what if we went the opposite way and nobody went with the flow and we just scheduled no fucking flow? Yeah, that's great.

I'm just saying, like now like you do have a time when you're allowed to take a shit and if you mess it, too bad you're not.

I mean that for now was now it is like an extra super duper preachy episode of Star Trek The Next Generation, where it's like they're about to kiss and somebody comes up and it's like no kissing, time's over.

It is not kissing time. And then it's like, but love, you can't put a tight schedule on. You can't make love with.

You know what I mean? Yes. We're going to kill West. That's right. Wesley did a kiss during hug time. So he's fucking dead now because we and as soon as murder time rolls around, he's out of here.

He's done. So we're lucky we only murder on Fridays.

Oh, shit, guys, if we get rid of dates and calendars, you just go with the flow. How are we supposed to know when the purge is?

Oh, man, that's true. You'll just you'll go up and hit someone in the head with a sledgehammer. I was like, no, yeah.

Yeah. You go to jail, you fuck that, wasn't it? But then you can just walk out of jail because there's no such thing as jail sentences now. Yeah, that's right. How long do I have to be in here. Oh, we hadn't thought of that.

Yeah.

So I so I was at work one day with another coworker. It was really slow. So we're talking about sharing stories, talking and sharing stories. She got a customer right after telling me something super personal, she ended it with don't tell anyone. I told you that you're the only one in this whole state I've told.

Problem is, I sold the fuck out the doctors and I didn't hear anything that she said since then. She brought it up again, saying that thing I told you before, what do I do? Oh, boy. That's from awful coworker and Alaska. And I think this is great.

Oh, I think this is wonderful.

Go on.

OK, OK. I'm going to tell you the person on the other end of this question, she got to unload the thing that has been bothering her. You have now that but that information is very sensitive.

You have now become like a cryptocurrency called wallet at this point.

OK, that data is fucking archived and locked down beyond all measure on the block chain of yours on the block chain.

Now, you can't get the block chain of your rudeness is what it's right.

And that's great.

Yeah. Sometimes people I do have to say sometimes people do tell you things because they do, they are looking for a source of commiseration. But it is also like a heavy load sometimes and they are going to be worried that you'll let it slip and they will.

They don't have to because it can't slip. It won't slip.

Yeah, it's not even technically there.

It's not there. That's awesome.

Now, if you did want to figure it out, is there a way to do that other than, hey, just so you know, I wasn't really listening to hearing that supersensitive thing that you've only told me. Damn it, why didn't you fucking listen? Fuck, you should have listened.

Hey, Griffin, you sound like my brain ten times a day. Yeah.

Really? You should have listened to their sometimes my brain does that when I'm meeting somebody and they're like, hi, I'm. And my brain's like, pay attention.

But the brain is so loud saying that, that I don't actually hear the name. Yeah.

You're looking, I'm thinking like I'm listening so hard right now. I'm doing such a good job listening. Oh no. Yeah, sure.

OK, let me give you a script. So I've been thinking about what you told me. You know the thing. Oh yeah. The thing that I don't want you to tell anybody ever you've been carrying on. Yeah, exactly.

Even carrying around the burden of that for so long. And I read about an exercise in some of the leadership magazine that I subscribe to. Oh, leadership weekly.

Monthly. Actually, I don't think it's good.

So I doesn't say is that today with the ever changing leadership techniques but going what you do is you write the thing down on a scrap of paper and then you fold it.

Then I'll go it for you when you're not around, OK? And that way you'll be free of the burden.

I have really bad handwriting. Is that a problem? It's like it's like not even legible. Can you put it on Google Drive?

I'm worried about everything. Do you have, like, any kind of like a typewriter I can use? Do you how much do you know about the BlackBerry? Oh, I know quite a bit. Shit. OK.

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I'll have ten cheesecakes, please. Oh, sorry.

I have to go make ten cheesecakes from scratch. OK, well real quick just ok. I got to go make you feel better if you said any big Latin.

Oh sorry. Let's take that again. And this time I won't, I'll, I'll wait my turn to talk. OK. OK. Maybe you feel better if you said it in pig Latin ok. Or with a cockney accent. It won't start.

Nothing sounds quite as bad as you say.

OK, I'm the one. What. What's that sir. Sorry. Let me go help this customer real quick. I didn't say anything. Say it. I think you did. I didn't say anything. I'm listen and say it.

Are you sure. Yeah. This is bad ass. I never get niggas fucking hit me.

OK, well I murdered D.B. Cooper and Atim.

Wow. That's a weird pull.

I thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoyed yourself immensely. We are so thankful that you decided to spend this time with us. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

If you can, we are going to include a couple of links to places that you can donate to support the Asian-American and Pacific Islander community who has been the subject of mounting racial violence over the last couple of years, particularly sort of coming to a head during the shootings in Atlanta last week, which we are, as everybody is, I'm sure, completely horrified by.

There's a go fund me has put together a list of funds that are going to go directly to the families of the victims. We also included a link to the Asian-American and Pacific Islander Civic Engagement Fund, which is seeking to empower the API community and also fight for intersectional justice on a sort of broader scale. Again, those those links are in the description. Please consider donating and do what you can to support your local AAPI community. It's a it's a scary time right now.

And, you know, whatever you can do to help helps.

We also want to tell you we've got some new merch over the merch store this month. We've got a pin of the month. It's sausage to me, benefiting, feeding Texas. We've got the empty bullpen designed by Samuel Reardon. We've got the twenty big dog run pen designed by Mel Westfall. And don't forget to preorder the adventure zone, Crystal Kingdom, the newest graphic novel and the graphic novel series. It's available for preorder. Now just go to the adventures on comic dotcom and then wait patiently by the door until July 13th when it will actually be delivered to you.

Hey, thanks to Montane for to use for a theme song. My life is better with you. It's so good. Go listen all Montaigne's music get psyched for Eurovision. She's going to slam dunk it. And because from what I understand, there's every other country.

From what I understand, there is a basketball component this year to Eurovision, which is long overdue.

You want to finally Yahoo! Absolutely. Here's a finally Yahoo! Sent in by Graham Roebuck. Thanks, Graham. It's an anonymous Yahoo! Answers user who I'm going to call. Gravy asks what a lot of people watch a remake of Friends, but the main characters are all Goth.

Oh yes, please. My name is just about Travis MacAvoy. I'm Goth Chandler.

Could I be. How are you doing? Could I could I be worke fuck.

Justin, just say it. Your brother. My brother. Because your dad's brother was.

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