This is exactly right. Hello and welcome to my favorite murder. How are you?

How are you? This is a podcast. That's how we are. That's Karen Kilgariff. That's Georgia. Howard Stark, thanks for having us in your ears.

What's going on in here? Who are you? Cold. What's that smell?

Oh, what was that thing? We started sending each other pictures of tweezers pulling. Was that some hair being pulled out of Katzir? No, it was poodle's. I found videos of hair like long hair. Dogs get hair like stuck in their ear, you know, and then there's videos of, like, groomer's yanking it out.

And the dog's never my favorite thing in the world. And they're right to be making that noise and shivering in disgust because I cannot figure out like that. The zip popping videos also love like all the different. I can't figure out how I feel about it. Oh, you don't. You don't you're not like, absolutely love or hate. You're like and it feels like attraction.

Repulsion. It feels like I'm not sure I want to look away. I can't. That's disgusting. I don't want to see it. I can't stop looking at it like it's a real I guess that's part of the appeal for people.

I love it purely and with a pure heart and soul. But then I can't watch like people getting punched like stuff like that upsets me a lot. Oh, that's what I, that's what I am looking for.

Like a fight on, like, you know, on the Senate floor or something.

I can I get so upset and I feel so bad for everyone involved and I don't know, you know, when they box and stuff on the Senate floor.

You know, what's really funny is my sister there was some video that went viral recently of somebody getting punched.

And my sister, I was like, I can't remember. How we were talking about it, but at the same time, we both started laughing and because people were flipping out of like, oh, this person got punched. Yeah. And at the same time, we're like, that was not even a good fight. That was not even a good punch.

And then we started laughing because when we were in college, my sister hung out with this group of guys who and they were it was all people from my high school, like a huge group of people from my high school went to Sacramento together. Yeah. And some of my cousins, like there was a whole bunch of us up there and so everyone to go. I mean, I couldn't my sister was old enough to go to these bars on the weekend.

I mean, she would go with this group of guys who at the end of the night would absolutely fight someone in the street. And it was just going to happen because they were going to get drunk and they were going to start a fight with somebody. And so, like someone they didn't know or part of their group, they just did. But usually it was someone they didn't know. And so my sister would, you know, end up standing outside Black Angus or wherever the fuck they would be.

And, you know, my sisters in her like, guess mini skirt in arms crossed, all rolling her eyes. And then there's, oh, there was always like girlfriends standing next to her, like, crying idiot, stop.

And she'd be like, just be quiet. It's going to be over in like five minutes. Don't worry about play your part. That's how hard it is to get really upset.

And meanwhile, my sister like checking her watch and she does like, yeah, this is like this is what happens every week and just it doesn't need to be that big of a deal.

Oh God, it's so funny. I'm not into fighting love. Fighting scares me. It scares me. And like and it's also just like the way the people's face looks when they face look, when they realize that getting punched hurts even though they've been talking a lot of shit. And suddenly they're like, oh, this is real. Yes.

I don't like that feeling like that feeling of that cold watching over you of, oh, this is fucking happening, you know.

Well, very true. And I do not envy boys and men who have to get sometimes feel that they have to get into that situation like they just that's the only choice they have or they have like a smart mouth or a bad personality and they get themselves in that situation. But at the same time and I think it's because my dad was just kind of like a real big guy. Yeah. So I never had to I just knew that if anything happened, I was with the guy that was going to win.

He's bigger than everybody. And he was scary even not punching anybody. Yes, he could be scary enough to make people go away. He's an intimidating presence. And actually, you know, Vince's dad always said is what he was. Vince was a kid. Vince, his dad said to him, don't start any fight, but finish every fight.

Yeah, I love you so much, which is, I think, how you should live your life completely.

Like you don't let people walk on you, but you don't look for trouble. Right.

My mom told me this great story one time. They were they were walking in some little town, like in, you know, kind of they went out for the day and had lunch or something. And they were walking by this bar and there was some dude standing outside the bar like, you know, hanging out or smoking. They kind of look like biker dudes. And as they walked by, one of them made a joke about my dad being bald and and they walked.

They kept walking. And that my mom said they walked like ten more feet. And then my dad, they were kind of like arm in arm or holding hands or whatever. And then my dad stopped and turned to my mom and said, Now you stay right here.

I'll be right there. And then he just walked straight back to them and they all ran away because he was just he was like and my my mom just thought, oh, he is just kind of embarrassed and he's like, whatever.

But he basically walked her away from the area. Yeah. So that he could go back and kick their ass.

This is not for you. Let me take him home. Now you stand here not involving you clothing store your clear of debris or anything that could fly out of this fight. Oh, God, yeah.

I don't I mean, like, yeah, actually I've never been in a physical fight, you know, personally, I would I would never do it. And I'd always be like, oh my God. Like I could, I could do it, but I would always just be like I'd rather just be mean.

And so if it's so weird, it's like it goes in slow motion for sure. Have you been inside. Oh, yeah. Oh, Girlfight. Yeah.

I was in one fight in high school with like my friend. We got had this falling out and then she came after me in the lab at lunch and the like main the or whatever and yeah I fucking won. Sorry but yeah we may end up later. It's not fun but I definitely punched her the face and you know what happened is like she came after me, we start fighting and I was bigger than her and like a little scrappier. I feel, I feel terrible about.

I'm so anti fighting and violence and all of that, but, you know, it doesn't help had all the hormones happening and that's what it is, I think when you're younger or also when you're first having fun times with alcohol and you have that kind of like you're invincible feeling, there's it's very normal to kind of test that out or to have these weird and then like like emotional times.

No, no. Right.

Then like passionate friendships with girls that you have at that age are so fraught with so many emotions and, you know, just the highs and lows that happen, the betrayal of those kind of like I've tried to tell Nora stuff without being sounding like a crazy, like old witch going beware. But it's like that kind of thing where and what worries me about the way people parent these days is they're so up the asses of, like, so and so's friend's parents.

Now we're friends. And I mean, I'm talking about kind of small towns. Yeah, but I worry about that because it's like, what if they have a falling out and they truly don't like one of them does something truly fucked and they're not going to be able to tell you about it. And then suddenly they have to hang out because the parents or friends like it's all that stuff we didn't have to worry about back in the day.

I worry about that.

OK, that's why I'll take that one off my permission, I think, to check off my list. Thank you.

I needed to hear that. Let's see.

Are you watching anything, doing anything fun? Special reading. I feel like I'm doing my I'm doing my thing. Why were you watching British shows that brought me a sense of peace and calm. Great. So the one I'm doing right now is a television show that I truly adore called Lark Rise to Candleford.

Those words don't mean anything to me. It is not a good. Did you watch Downton Abbey first season? Yeah. So there is there was a like a footman or a butler on that show and he was like the big famous one from downstairs. He plays the dad in this show. That guy's name is Brendan Coile.

And then the woman who I love, which I think everybody loves her, she played the daughter on absolutely fabulous daughter. Her name's Julia. So Wollar. Yeah, I believe she's the lead granny. She works. She runs the post office, OK.

And the pen. And then Claudie Blakely, who she plays the mom. And I've talked about her before. She's the British actress that was in something else that we loved. And I was like, she needs her own props because she's so good. And oh, she's like she's the Pride and Prejudice movie. She's amazing. So it's basically kind of like all my British actor friends in one big show. And then it's like village life in the like it seems like, I don't know, mid eighteen hundreds.

OK, that sounds like everything. I don't want everything you want and I'm really happy.

It's every, it is, it's like everything I want. But it also is the thing where, you know, I'm like and maybe this is a quarantine thing. But like around the time I start watching TV at night, what I start my brain is like, oh, you can just go hang out. It's almost like I'm going into another room where the people are. It's it has that vibe because it's families and there's like little problems. It's almost like a British soap opera.

Yeah. So you're like find having a lifestyle. Yes. But it's just you're not involved in it. It's it's very sad. I'm not not saying that. Not the people.

They're my friends, my people. I have a suggestion for something to calm. Your nerves are like happy watching. Great. So, OK, old game shows. Sure. They there's a channel called Buzzer Big.

Ah. I think it's like an app you probably have to add on or whatever.

That just shows old fucking weird game shows. And there's just one that I had never seen before that we are now obsessed with called concentration. Yeah.

Now that we're solving the puzzle, you're solving the puzzle and it's like memory, like the game memory where you turn over a thing and it's like washer and dryer and then you turn number fifteen and it's a dryer and you match and then you have a chance to solve this puzzle.

And the original host was just clearly hated everyone and everything. And he was so mean. And then and the puzzles were so hard. And it would be like a riddle that you'd never heard of before. So everyone was sorry really quick. Yeah.

Was the puzzle that was revealed a there's a word for it.

I won't be able to, but it's those things with the I, I see the cow or whatever. Yes. OK, so the people, there are people right now that know the name and are yelling at their own and I'm sorry, but they're also the things that are inside the Pep's Reben like a riddle using picture.

There's a word rubiks, Ruben. Yeah, but Shahram Rebus, it's a fuckin release. Got it. Yeah, I believe so. Nice job. I believe so. Sorry. Keep going. No, no, no. So then Alex Trebek takes over, which reminded me that we need to fucking pour a little of my non-alcoholic beer on the carpet for in memory of who man we grew up with Alex Trebek, bless his heart entirely.

And my family watches Jeopardy every night at either seven or seven thirty. I can't remember when it's on up there. Well, it's at seven because Wheel of Fortune comes on after another really fast.

And it's too stupid. It's stupid, stupid. But Jeopardy is like that's how it when Jeopardy's not on at seven. I know something where it's happened. Oh my family. That's that thing of like why why why hasn't my dad made popcorn and why isn't jeopardy. Instead of an awkward silence there's an awkward no jeopardy. Yeah. Also I love that. And so Alex Trebek now is the host. It's like the eighties I think, and it's much better.

He he likes his job and and the puzzle. Not mad. He's not mad and insults. He this guy like insulted the players. It was so funny. So that's great. And then Alex Trebek rest in peace and then he didn't talk. So I said last week I think because we were so amped about the election and like it didn't even cross my mind.

But like Kamala Harris is the first fucking female nominee. Vice president. Yeah. Yeah.

Any nominee. Yeah, anything.

It's I feel like it's overshadowed by so many things that are happening, but it's like. Yes, incredible. It's it's incredible. You know what, it's that kind of thing. Or like they have to go through, they're just being forced to go through the things are going through now. I do love that the Trump administration is a one four twenty five in their court cases. They've lost all that was amazing. But also it's just like it's like this is just that it's going to be a difficult in between time.

We all knew it would be we all knew he wasn't going to have grace, dignity, any kind of like larger picture behavior because it was just going to be him tweeting I one at four in the morning.

Why start now? I mean, why start now? Yeah. Can't do like old dogs, old ducks. But I think, you know what, that's a great point. And it's the kind of thing that I think once we're in January, it'll be a much easier thing to start saying, hey, there's all kinds of barriers. Barriers have been broken, lots of different people. Yeah. And I want to celebrate that instead of like instead of cowering in a corner hoping everything doesn't implode.

But, yeah, you're right. We're not there yet.

Well, but they're really laying the foundation of that. It's not going to because it's basically just like. But court conservative judge after conservative judge is saying there is no case here. And yeah. And I appreciate that.

Yeah. Can we talk about Sunday night? We found out that we were like on The Simpsons in a way. Oh, shit. Oh my God. Yeah. What the. I had no idea until someone was like someone on Instagram commented Cool Simpsons cameo. And I was like, why are they talking about.

Oh yeah. I should actually thank the first person who tweeted me because this is how I knew. And it was one of those things where I kind of I didn't know what to do. Do you think I was like, look, on up first I thought someone making, you know. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I was just like, oh, shit, this isn't going to be good. There's all kinds of ideas that went through my head at Stuart Fargher, I think, Stuart.

Underscore Fargher, he just sent it. So now I can tell you the story because he sent me this picture, he went, not sure if you've if you've seen this already, but I couldn't risk not letting you know. And then he even put top right in. But he sent me a picture where you were cropped out of the cell. So when you texted me like two hours later went, oh, my God, have you seen this?

I was just like, I don't know, oh, fuck. I don't know what to do. I I was just like, what?

I was just like my thing was, I guess I'll never talk about it like that because it's like you're you're a feature in the Sacramento or in Petaluma newspaper where they crop me out. It's like fucking Simpsons but it's a Simpsons. But you're like the G was there. I was like, oh fuck, this is a good whatever. And then I opened the one you sent me and I was like, oh, my God, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I appreciate you not celebrating without me. That's that's not a celebration. But it was almost look like, oh, it's just like it almost looked to me like it's first of all, like it's a movie when it's an animated thing, but it's just like, oh, that just didn't that didn't make it into the shot. Right. Kind of thing. But for some reason you just do craft, you do so. So then it became a joyous celebration.

Yeah, it's really cool and I haven't seen it yet. Honor and yes, it's an episode where about Lisa and Marge getting into Crime podcast and of course, Small Town Dicks, which is Lisa's podcast. Iroh Yeardley Smith of course, does Small Town Dicks podcast. So that's there of course. And then they go and it looks like a restaurant and there's like caricatures on the wall of like Trilling's Lancasters and more there it looks like Dan Tana's, which is a famous steakhouse in L.A. where they have celebrity pictures on the wall.

And so it's honor after honor. Also, we're up there with fucking DS and Marilia Dan Carlin suffocating like all these people were just like, oh, shit. And the doughboys are there. It's like I feel they're there in person. Yeah, yeah. I feel mortal. It's fucking crazy. It's amazing. I was like, Karina Longworth is there in person. Like it's a really cool glow up for podcasters and people who have, you know, I think of the work that Karina Longworth puts into.

You must remember this. We've talked about that podcast a ton, but if you haven't heard it, it is just a brilliant, young, beautiful podcast about old Hollywood mayhem, not necessarily crime, but like, yeah, bad stuff, mayhem, weird stories, whatever. It's so well done. The work she puts into it. Yeah.

Is unbelievable. Yeah, it is. And it's like Doughboy's as well have been doing this before. There was money to be made, like they've been doing this when you actually like kind of lost money by podcast's a little. And the amount that they've spent on like the fast food that they've lost money, they've lost their health insurance. No, it's very it was really lovely. It's it's yeah, it's very cool. And my friend Matt Solman was one of the first people I met in L.A. when I moved here and I was twenty four.

He was, I think, maybe even younger than me. And we used to go to the same bar all the time. And at the time he was the writer's assistant on The Simpsons. Now he's an executive producer. Now he's the EP. He runs it. Yeah. With with other people. But yeah, he's, he's the top dog is so. Yeah. So then later on he sent me an email saying hopefully you saw the Easter egg and hopefully we, you know, you we hope you did the we did podcasting.

Right. Or whatever. It was really lovely. Honored.

Honored. I just can't even. Yeah.

That's one of the things where I was looking at it. This was aside from the other worries that I had, I was looking at I'm like, now, am I dead?

Because this is so crazy on like, is this real?

There's no way. Yeah. Like, how how important Simpsons was to me throughout my childhood to the point where my sister yelled, Mom, George is having a cow when I had a seizure. That's how important it was. It is a big deal. I mean, is a big deal. Yeah, you were.

Probably 11 right when came out because I was 19. Yeah, and the world to us at twenty one, but that's just it was a big fuckin deal signed. It reminds me of when I saw Weird Al for the first time and I was like, oh my.

I just had text my brother like I know this is crazy and we have.

Yeah it was wild. These moments, these are high say high water moments. That's not the same.

I don't know what I'm saying. It was high caliber really speak. It was a boutique moment. I just wanted to I feel like there's I'm in a now that things have now it isn't pre-election week or election weekend or any of those things. There's a tiny bit of normalcy ebbing back into life or whatever. And it's making me actually feel my feelings again, which I don't appreciate or enjoy.

But this morning, so, you know, as I've told you a million times, I keep all these papers just sitting on my desk from every time we record.

So because I'm always like, you have to use it for scratch paper. Oh, it's sitting right in front of me. And this morning my therapist had a couple bangers and I just wanted to share it, OK, because I literally was like, sorry, I need to I talking so I can write this down because I can't.

I think I was just talking about how I'm having a hard time in covid kind of like, like I'm having reactions that don't make a ton of sense once they come out of my mouth and then I get really like self-loathing and feel a lot of shame to which she said she's like, that's toxic shame and toxic shame lies in wait for those moments when you falter so it can jump out and yell, I was right all along. You're bad one.

Yeah, I feel that, you know, everybody feels shame and sometimes it's actually very helpful. It keeps you from doing things you don't want to do that you've already done before or whatever. But when you have toxic shame, it's a different thing. And when it's a it's that when that is your problem, you are you fall victim to this voice in your head that tricks you into thinking it knows everything and it's telling you how you are.

Right. And that isn't accurate. And it never updates itself. It never you know, it's old. It's the she always she always uses the example of in a beautiful mind that how the mathematician eventually understood I'm having a schizophrenic episode because the people never aged that would appear to him. I never saw that movie. It was always a little girl. She never got older, even though he was getting older. The people his roommate was never different. And it's that.

And she goes, and that's the you have to start putting out these markers so that when you have these waves of feeling, you can go, oh, no, no, this isn't you finally accepting reality. Yeah. Like, that's not that's not it. Should I like that one?

I'm always trying. Yeah. I'm always trying to like put a name on that person or describe that person. She's my therapist. I was trying to get me to like, it's not you. It's a different fucking voice and that's a really good one where it's like I can picture it. They're tricky.

The voice like you, it feels like your brain.

And it feels sometimes it's like I'm just trying to be nice. Yeah. Tell you.

Tell you how you are and like and then good thing I've got you. Or you would fucking humiliate yourself all the time. Right.

And where it's like in the meanwhile on the outside everyone's just like, what's the problem we had together and we had a great conversation. What's happening. Yeah, I've, I got it. I just want to put that into the old into the old free therapy corner that we've started doing for everybody. If anybody out there is dealing with toxic shame or an internal voice, it sure is mean to you.

We all are. Yeah, everybody is. Oh, also, she told me that when you have a wave of that, it usually takes fifteen minutes for it to go away. Oh. So it seems like it's coming and it seems like oh this is permanently how things are forever.

But if you can keep be aware that it's, it's, you're having an emotional moment, you just put on music for fifteen minutes like Leidy. Yeah. It's not a it's not forever. OK.

Yeah it so I should just start yelling at at fucking you go away kind of looking at you, you certainly don't start yelling at others out loud is the only cure is for me to start having. I should started having been punching it in the face so that I'm just. Yes. Punches old school Black Angus left right left hook. It's the old combination out in the street in old Sacramento. OK, let's fight in the street with exactly right now is nice.

Beautiful Segway. Thank you. Thank is there it is merch design news. We have a new look and listen. Design. Yeah. It's done by a friend of the family, Kate Lowe Allawi, it's Kate designs it on Instagram. It's just this really cool line drawing of our faces.

Very simple, neat, beautiful. Look and listen.

You line drawing. Yes, it's very delicate. And it's very it's kind of different. And I really love it. It's so good. It's very different than like what we normally have. I feel like. Great. So check that out on the Web site store and then it's on my favorite murder, Dotcom. And that's when you want to watch what podcast from the exactly right library are you going to shout out this week, Karen?

Well, first of all, just so everybody is aware, and this is something you may have heard the ad about or whatever, but the exactly right network and all the shows there in May, I may I use the word therein.

We're now on Pandora. So if you use Pandora, if you're into streaming, if you're into experimental streaming, it's free. But you can go over to Pandora and you can listen to my favorite murder. You can listen to all of the shows on exactly right. And please do come support us on Pandora. Totally. For example, one of the shows, this week's Bananas. I have to tell you, I just listen to it this morning. The guest on this week's Bananas is infectious disease researcher Laurel Bristo.

She is the woman that's on Instagram basically from the beginning, helping people understand what's going on with covid. She's basically like, I think a science translator is the term they kept using on the show. Yeah. So she basically updates people, tells them stuff. And you also start at my end. My sister is her number one fan. So I've been hearing about Laurel for a while and now she has a thing called Yeah Dog, No Dog, where she answers really stupid questions about the pandemic and about covid.

And then so people ask if they like but can't. Isn't it my right to whatever. And no doubt I love it. They're very funny. Yeah. So that's and also she's just it's so fun when people like that aren't just good at the one thing they're good at. She's such a delightful, hilarious guest. It's so good on that show with Scotty and Kurt. So love it. Listen to bananas. Definitely. And then I want to talk about our our our newest podcast.

I saw what you did. Oh, yeah. That episode this week is so great. Million Danielle, talk about the films, Walking and Talking from 1996 and me without you from 2001. And they talk about cigarettes and getting stuck watching sex scenes with your mom, which everyone can relate to, I feel like. So that's out this week. I saw what you did. Such a great podcast. Please check that out and then also make sure that you rate review and subscribe to any of the podcasts that you love, including us.

If you feel like doing that, please do. Yeah, it really just helps every podcast get more recognition and get more listeners, which is about.

Yeah, sometimes if you look at the like iTunes top 10 or whatever and you don't see the podcast that you love, it's because not enough people have written in or rated, reviewed or subscribed solely get involved on a local level. It's funny because I thought this week you going to pick the per cast because they have paleontologist and fossil disease specialist Yare hurried on who has a gorgeous Siamese kitten. I was positive. That's that's what you're going to look. I don't like I don't like competing Siamese very low.

Stephen, sorry. You're going to have to take a backseat to Elvis.

You see the two Siamese cats fight.

They know I'm sure they would take a nap together and then, OK, another buckin announcement. They keep coming week after week and this one's another biggie. These are the shows we were telling you about in frustration of we've got stuff coming, hang in there. And June and this is and it's happening now. We're so, so excited. So this new podcast that you're going to hear the trailer for at the end of this episode, that's the way we do it.

So we give you a little taste sensation. It's a it is a law and order. Saorview Recap a comedy interview podcast called That's Messed Up.

I'm so excited for this one. I sense this got pitch. Show us and it's it start. I heard it first from KARE, one of the host who's a good friend and just a frickin hilarious person, and she pitched it. I was like a fucking Luly. Whatever you want. Yes. So it's Carrot Clank and Lisa Trager, who are just these two hilarious comedians, long time comedians, and they're great friends. And every week they're just going to break down an episode of Law and Order Special Victims Unit.

They're going to do a deep dive into the real case that inspired the episode and the.

They're also and they're also this is the coolest part, in my opinion, as a person who truly has listened to every episode of Law and Order US view, I mean, watched broadcasting, I've watched every episode they're going to have guests on every week who are actors from the show. And that's everyone from, for example, like the guest star who plays the cult leader or the person that plays a fruit vendor who saw the crime go down like just any and then all the way up through til big fancy celebrity guest stars that are on it all the time.

So the show launches on December 8th, obviously on. Exactly right. But then listen to the trailer at the end of this show and then go make sure and subscribe to.

That's messed up wherever you listen to podcasts and and then follow them on Twitter at Messed Up Pod and on Instagram at that's messed up pod. Please support them. I this is going to be great. I'm so excited.

Kara Klink is truly one of my favorite comedians I've done. I've watched her a lot. I've done some shows with her and she's but she's also the kind of person like when I would go to say, a birthday party that's at a bar downtown or something like that. And I would always go by myself and then just be like halfway there. I'd be like, just go home. Just go home. Like, it would be so difficult to even walk in the door.

Yeah. If I saw her there, it was just like, boom, I've got my I've got my lighthouse. I know where I can go. She's so funny and fun to talk to, but she's also just very real. And she's just she reminds me of someone I've known all my life. She's the great.

Totally. Totally so. Yeah. Awesome. That's necessary. Sorry, Liza, please don't take it. So I also think you're hilarious. Yes. But I don't know you and I've never because that's the old NY L.A. comic device. I've never I've never spent time with her because she's a New York comic detail set out. But the respect is there. It's absolutely there. And once it's over, we're going to have a big exactly right party and everyone's going to be have to be there or they're going to get fired.

And we're also going to give out five golden tickets and candy bars.

And you can be there. It's going to be fistfights and it's going to be held at the Black Angus. And I can sit down. Oh, shit. OK, wait. I actually don't even know if there is a Black Angus in Sacramento. That was just the vibe. I was just like love. It's like over on the side of the building where the dumpsters are.

That's where the fights usually where the party is. That's where the parties that they always. If you're looking for that next great show to get obsessed with, get ready for the new ABC series Big Sky from David Kelly. You know, from Ally McBeal, the practice and big little lies. Big Sky is one of those edge of your seat thrill rides that's full of twists and turns you'll never see coming. Private detectives Cassie and Cody teamed up with Cody's ex-wife Jenny to find them before it's too late.

The girl's disappearance soon reveals an even deeper mystery, one that some will do anything to keep hidden.

It just goes to show you that even the most beautiful places can hide the darkest secrets.

Big Sky features an incredible cast. Ryan Phillippe, Kathryn Winnik, Kylie Bunbury and John Carroll Lynch. Don't miss new episodes Tuesdays ten nine Central on ABC. Goodbye. Hello, Fresh America's number one meal kit lets you skip trips to the grocery store and makes home cooking easy, fun and affordable. Hello, fresh offers convenient delivery right to your doorstep for easy home cooking with the family. With more than 20 weekly recipe choices, there's something everyone will enjoy, including family friendly vegetarian and low calorie options.

And by skipping the supermarket, not only do you get more time to celebrate the holidays with loved ones, but you're reducing your food waste by at least twenty five percent and saving 40 percent compared to grocery stores. That's a win for you and for the planet. Hello. Fresh is the first global carbon neutral meal kit company and they're committed to donating meals to those in need. So far, in twenty twenty, they've donated three point five million meals.

It does feel good knowing that, like, you know, we're getting hella fresh because it really does help us like make healthy dinners faster in our house. But we're also helping to get hungry people, those meals that they need as well. And yeah, that's a really that's a lovely idea that you're kind of you're doing. You think you're doing it for yourself, but you're actually doing great for other people to write. And the meals are really freaking good.

Like it doesn't matter if you're a good cook or not. It tells you exactly how to make it. You can't go wrong. It's it's going to be good. So get started with America's number one meal kit, go to hell or fresh dotcom slash MFM 90 and use the code MFD 90 to get ninety dollars off, including free shipping for Hello Fresh's Black Friday sale score.

Limited time savings before it's too late. That's tell a fresh dotcom Mepham ninety in code MFM ninety to get ninety dollars off including free shipping.

Goodbye. OK, so we're doing a quilt episode this week. Oh, thank God. So let's just say this really quick before people in the fan cold have learned this bitterly and we do apologize, but we're almost out of live shows because of the way time passes and the way and how many we've posted and how many we've used and the fact that we were supposed to start our tour in May. It was September. September. You supposed to be faulter, remember?

Was it? Yeah, it was going to be a big fall tour starting in September or maybe even August if Joe got his way of touring agent.

Yeah, it's hilarious and bizarre to us. But this is what we're doing with the with the last of the live shows. Right. But also, if you're in the fan cult, don't you worry, because we've got plans and schemes of things that we are going to start posting on the fact that you we're pretty sure you're going to think are better than the live shows. Right. And also, don't forget that in the fan called, the live shows are in there.

You can listen to them any time you want. That's right. So it's not like they're all back locked in there as well. Yeah, there's a whole thing you can get into. Yeah. So this is what we're doing this week. Who goes first this week? I think it's you, right?

No, it's you, Karen. It's me.

Karen had what was what happened last week. So we're talking to people right now. I'm talking to you, South Carolina. I don't know if you remember in twenty eighteen when me and a little lady named Georgia Hartsock came to see you at the North Charleston Performing Arts Center.

And this is my story from that night. It is the story of old timey legendary lady.

Female lady. You know, I love it. Go a lot of it. Live it, love it. Learn to love it to the lady. Female serial killer Lavinia Fisher. Yes, this is a good one.

My story is also super old school because Charleson, I don't know if you know this about yourselves, but you are the home of this purportedly America's first female serial killer.

Lavinia Fisher has taken. She's like George Washington is like George Bush is, that's what she's saying. I'm the first trailblazer. I guess that color yellow is kind of popular back then. So I'm mustard. Here's what's funny. Stephen sent me. So Stephen, of course, handle everything always. And he finds us like the photos he does like the good searches for us. He makes this because we don't know. And then he makes that pretty thing.

He's so good at computers. Little Stephen Maletta, he sends me this picture and he goes, they're not sure if this is actually a picture of her, but this is what shows up every time you put in Lavinia Fisher. Like it's not guaranteed that this is her image. Exactly. It could just be like a cool old cigar ad or something. But don't look up are correct streak this podcast. Well, she we've been so right. Oh, she looks dead eyed and chill as fuck.

So let's just say it's her. She really does look like she's kind of thrown some hand signals there too. She's like trying to explain something to someone. Listen, I love to kill multiple people in a short amount of time. It's what I do, OK? She was born in seventeen ninety three. OK, so we're back where you are. Here we are. This these might be parallel stories. People are in the dungeon. She might have been killing people.

There was there was nowhere to go in Charleston. And that's pretty much aside from her being born in 1793. That's pretty much all we know about her for sure. They don't know anything about her early family life, or at least I don't. And that's basically. Yeah, that's all that matters. I bet you there is there is some kind of a history professor in this audience right now who's like the 30s about. Don't know about her early life or her family or where she was born or her maiden name or really anything at all, but we told you nothing, nothing.

One thing is very clear that she spent most, if not all of her life and did all of her crimes in Charleston, South Carolina. Yeah. So in 1810, she would have been 17. I'm just trying to do the math in my head, like when this is because literally there aren't years until, like, near the end when she gets arrested. So it's like history didn't like women or something weird here. It's like female killers weren't as important a hazard.

Guess that the following events began sometime around like 18, 10, 18, 15 or thereabouts. Rough estimate as the crow flies. All right. So just to talk about America in 1810 and in South Carolina at the time, 40 years after the American Revolution, certainly not not close to your time. When we were there, we were just there. You were nearby. So this is baby America. Cotton is king in this area. Of course, slavery is legal.

Charleston used to be the capital of South Carolina. Early, early days. Yes, I did. Are you guys mad about that? They moved it up to Columbia because everywhere.

OK, congratulations on your win. Your big win. That's right. Columbia is more central to the state. So everywhere all those those lazy legislators are like, can we just we just mean the Middle East going to the coast. So and but that happened. Seventy six. So I watched an educational video that was for children from probably nineteen seventy seven. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Because it just kept showing like the manor houses.

So they talked about how the plantation owners who lived out in the country, obviously to have their big, huge farms, they would come in and build these big, beautiful houses in Charleston. And then there's just all these children dressed in period clothes, but with like 70s hair, you're like walking, looking at the camera, like walking up steps like, is this how you want me to do it? Or, like, opening a weird drawer.

And the best fucking part is something they're just trying to explain, like how daily life was for rich people back then. And they had oh, this is on no it all dog. So you two can go and watch the same video and learn as I did about your amazing state. It also started with the shape of the state and then it said, see in it. And I was like, like, I've never been taught anything. I love to learn.

So at one point they go out on the porch and talk about how the children of the day used to play on a thing called a joggling board.

Or are you serious? I've had to do that to. Was in my hotel room and cry, laughing at the jungling board. I don't know where it is. So we'll tell you what a joggling board is, how many, you know, seesaws are like way too fun and scary. Do a bunch of shit and you can't trust where they're going to go. Well, if you took a much bigger piece of wood and put it on your front porch and then maybe put a little thing under this fence, so it was higher up on one side and then you just stood on it and bounced down.

That's a fucking joggling board to this video. It's a super vintage trampoline. It's it's a trampoline with no risk. It's a seesaw with no fun eating. It's a piece of wood, 20 bucks, as if we were to try it right now, like, oh, this is coming up. I love this five. Oh, my God, it's so good for your lymphatic system. If I saw Joggling board on an infomercial and they were like, you lose weight in your system, I'd be like eighty nine.

Ninety nine. Yes, I'll get jobling boards, please. It also sounds like someone was like some kid was fucking around with this thing. And his mom was like, if you don't tell me what that is right now, I'm going to get mad. And he was like, it's a jungle. Like I just made up some dumb things. What are you kids doing out there? But joggling? I love it. And when I go for it, the idea that you cheered for joggling for God damn it, Charleston, I love you.

That is. It's special when the remind me, when the hometown person comes up, we have to be like, did you have a joggling board when you. What is what is this? OK, so essentially, Charleston was the big city. People were constantly traveling to it, leaving it for business and trade and bartering at the harbor as we talked about food, water and whatever else. The rest of the video said that I didn't watch because once the joggling board came, I was like, I've seen enough.

I've learned everything I need to learn. And this acting sucks. Come on, stop looking into the camera. Now, to think of it, it's 80 years before the first car is built. It's before the first railroad. So there's just it's like impossible to get anywhere at any time. And so everyone's traveling like by horse or carriages or whatever. These roads take that hubers for carriages. But the taxi, never mind going. I answer my question.

So they're releasing back then called Highwaymen, and they were basically the dudes that would rob you when you were just like you going down the road by yourself on your horse and going down. Here's you done on a horse and done. Oh, no women. Give us all your weird leather bags filled filled with the balloons and tea. OK, so there were there were there were groups of them, like gangs of them and stuff. And there's a there's actually a music group called I and.

Yeah, that's right. Johnny Cash. Right. Anyways, I figured you guys would know because it was about but no. So our girl, Lavinia Fisher hooks up with the Highwaymen herself. John Fisher. It wasn't that's not her maiden name. Fisher is her married name. So we know by the all the accounts of her, she was very beautiful and she was very charming. And so I like to think she was like a rich girl with a personality disorder, like she had it all.

But she was like, fuck you, mom, I'm not marrying that guy and start robbing people on the road. I've had it with this life of luxury. So she could have married a Captain Butterscotch or a doctor bramble bones or whoever whoever her neighbor was or her or her dad played Jiggly Board. She could call the guy. She could have joggle and joggle for the rest of her life. Yeah, but no, she was like, not enough for me.

I would love to pull a gun on someone and really live. So she marries John Fisher, the highway man. And so what we know for sure is they get married. I mean, they they become active with a gang of highway robbers and they don't know exactly if she was doing if she was actually like holding a gun or a musket or Jessamine long finger and with a furrowed brow, give me your money. Or if she was just kind of like aiding and abetting, but essentially she was a part of this gang and and eventually and they don't know if they if John and Lavinia bought their because they ended up buying an inn.

And it's called the Six Mile Wayfarer House, located how many miles away from Charleston, Georgia. Answer six miles. That's right. Thanks. Thanks. They helped me cheat not to be confused with the five million, which was one mile down the road. I'm not joking. They weren't big into names back then. I clearly wasn't paying attention to the name of that place. So they don't know if they bought it with their robbery money or if they just killed the previous owner and took over.

I got that one, I bet. Yeah. So they basically take possession of this six mile away for our house, the six mile in essentially. And we know that Lavonia had no problem with crime, whether she was just kind of making dinner for everybody or whether she was doing it herself. So here's how they did. Here's how they did their crimes. She would go into Charleston and she would lure men back to the six mile in inviting them to dinner and possibly drinks.

Maybe some nice music made me music, a little chit chat about a news of the day and probably getting them drunk. So then they would need to stay there to sleep it off. And as they turned in for the night, she would offer them a cup of tea. And yes. What does that remind you of? Poison. Right. That's right. What else? This inner. Watch the center so good. Karen texted me the other night, Wednesday night, when the center is everyone watching it on the center, it was the final episode of final episode.

It was Season two, the middle of the final episode. We were in our home. I'm not going to do it. I'm telling you, she's sex me. Sex me. They say they say thank you. She essentially said, I can't believe the blank blank did it. And I was like, did you just fucking spoil this for me? I will need to retell the story the way it actually happened. We talked about watching this center together before we left for the trip.

Yes. At the airport. And then all the way up until the thing we always do, which is we're like, let's do a thing. And then we're like, I'm tired. I'm going to stay in bed where we're going to order room service. So I assumed because I was obsessed. I was like checking the time I looked it up on the Internet to make sure that I was not going to miss it. So I was so on it and we were texting about something else.

And I did text. You don't give a spoiler away. Bloody blood. Simple fact. Not a lot of words like she just said, but it did have one word in it that was key. And and then I was just like, oh, no. There is it, didn't it, if it's happening to me, it's happening to you, so I was like, we're watching we're watching the center right now. There's no question in my mind.

Sorry, George. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Let's go to therapy. OK, so bringing it all back to the team. We've got it. She gives them tea and it's fucking laced, of course. So these men go up into bed and there's a lot of different versions. Of course, this is a lot of legend because it's a very old story. But basically, here are the several methods that are known of the way that they would rob these men that she brought lured back to the inn.

She would she would give them the tea. They would get like basically high off of it and go to sleep. And then in it, while they were sleeping, they would rub the people, get all their shit off of them so they couldn't fight back. And then once they were done robbing them, they would flip the bed over and the floorboards would separate, open up. And there was a pit under the bed that they would dump the body into.

And some say the pit had spikes at the bottom. So happened that turned real quick, like a.. You're like, thanks for the lamb chop, Lavinia. I think she likes me dead. Oh, my God. Now, also, sometimes they would she would give them the tea.

They would be like, wow, I feel crazy. I'm going to lay down, go to bed and pass out the high from the tea. And then John would just come in and stab the. And then I would flip the bed over and I would go the body would go down into the basement. They sound like bad people. I think they weren't good. And then they would rob them, of course. Sure, sure. The third way and of course, my favorite, she would drag them, get them up into bed, get into bed with them, and then crush their skulls with her thighs.

No. OK, now we've gone too far. Yes, that's impossible. Yes, not if you really want to. There very clearly, clearly, the legend is grown, yeah, and, you know, that's almost like it turns into like, oh, she was a serial killer. It's like, yeah, imagine what she would do to you. Imagine you're all drugged. I mean, I'd be cool if it was at least like a fun size, eyes were like those Roman.

OK, so they do this for a long time and of course, men are going missing from out of town and from Charleston and but of course back then to, what, eight months to communicate anything in any way. So it's it's all very slow going. And every time they would go to the Six Mile and they would look somebody would say, this person, this is my husband, this is my son, they've gone missing. And the police would go look into it.

They would figure out that the last place the person was seen was at the six mile end. But they would go to the six mile in. And Lavinia and her husband, John, were these cordial, lovely, good looking, friendly, smart people that would say, oh, yeah, he left here and tell them some story and there would be no evidence of anything that the person was there. There would be no indication that anything bad happen.

So they would all leave. And they were they were actually friends with a lot of the authorities and the policemen and stuff, and they would just smile and shake hands and be on their way. And there would be no and no further investigation. I'd be like, well, we simply don't know. Anyway, back to the rats. So it goes on long enough that the townsfolk are like, fine, if you're not going to. We know by word of mouth something crazy is happening up to six million.

This this this is my favorite thing about when you're trying to do research and you don't like researching. And this is so the townspeople get all day. They get like a militia together. They all grab their different weapons and pitchforks and stuff like that. And this is in February of eighteen nineteen. And they go there, decide they're going to head up to the six mile in, but for some reason they only make it to the five mile. Let's see if we can show you.

You know, I checked three websites and I'm like, I'm not a fuckin history professor, but for some reason they don't they don't make it. They're just like they have to stop whatever. So they decide. And the townspeople are like, OK, we're going to leave. You stay here. A guy named David Ross, you stay here and be a lookout. Dave Ross, Dave Dave Ross. He's a stand up comic. We know it's funny to the two of us, and that's about it.

And Dave Ross, when he hears this, Dave Ross, of course. Now, I can't not picture a guy in like a built to spill T-shirt and a cigarette standing outside this five mile and be like, why do I have to do it? Yeah, sure. Yeah. But really funny. Really solid jokes still. And also, why leave just one guy is like, oh, so we're going to go confront this gang. Dave, will you take it.

Dude, I got it. I got this. Don't worry. You guys go back home. So the next day, a couple of the highwaymen that belong to the gang hung out at the six mile and walked by. And they see Dave Ross hanging out, trying to trying to stand guard, write some new jokes for us. And he said, yes. And he's like he's like, man, they're fuckin five mile and it's no six mile.

And am I right, ladies and gentlemen, it's like I need to work on that. And here come the robbers. And so they grab Dave Ross and beat the shit out of him and drag him back to the six mile in like this guy is here to investigate us. It's almost like he was only one person against a gang. Yeah, weird. It's almost like this was kind of the worst plan and they got the worst person to be.

It's not like, you know, you picture like if you had a guy that looked like the mountain from Game of Thrones, that's the guy you leave with the five mile end to stand. I don't know that reference. Oh, no, on. So it's almost like the guy from the center. OK, I'm there. OK, so when Dave Ross gets to the six million and there's just all these dudes that want to kick the shit out of him and all these highwaymen and bad guys, then he sees Lavinia's face and he tries to appeal to her because he's a woman.

Here, she'll be nice and he tries to appeal to her sensitive side, which, of course, pisses the fuck out of here. So she chokes him out and smashes his head through a window. Lavinia Shila, Franco, no equality, OK? She's like, how dare you think I'm an empathetic. So let's see, what does he do? He somehow escapes. He runs six miles back to Charleston. I put that in there and he reports the incident to the authorities.

So at around the same time, a traveler named John Peebles is traveling from Georgia to Charleston and he stops at the six mile in. And Lavinia's like, sorry, there's no vacancies, but you can have dinner and of course, a nice cup of tea. And she did this. This is another way that she decided on who to rob and kill. She would just chat with them, obviously, during dinner and ask her a bunch of questions like, what do you do for a living?

How much money do you have in your pocket? That's crazy, right? And she would just just melt them for information and then they would decide if that person should stay there so that they could rob and kill them the entire time. John Fisher is just kind of standing off on the side staring, which is such not that not a good plan at all. Yeah, it's the husband should go for that. I mean, if you need if you need to do this now and you make for this plan.

So so this guy, Don Peoples is getting the he's like, this is the weirdest fucking place I've ever come to. And as he's answering these questions and John staring enemies like this Vivus odd when she gives him the tea just by by by chance, he doesn't like tea. So when she's not looking, he dumps it in a potted plant. Did they have potted plants? Spittoon maybe is some kind of a blow to a poor person, whoever they did back then, so then suddenly Lavinia's like after she sees the he's gone, she's like, oh, my God, we do have a vacancy come right this way.

And she brings him up to the room. So he once he's in the room, he's thinking about it. He's, like, still shaking me down. This is not good. So instead of getting into the bed and going to sleep, he sleeps by the door in a chair so he basically can stay awake and like he's nervous. And in the middle of the night, the bed here and he wakes up to this loud crashing sound and the bed is disappeared.

So he walks over and looks down and sees that the trap door is open and they would drop the whole fucking bed into the trap door. That's the way this was worded from, you know, like a fucking PDA. So let's go with no, let's go away. I like the idea that you had all different rooms in the bed to do all kinds of things, or they just like had extra beds in the back and like they would just like go through beds every night because they would all drop through the maybe Lavinia was like an heiress to a bed for oh, she's just like, I'll get another bed from my dad, asshole.

Yeah. Either way, he sees the pit, he sees the whole deal jumps out the window, gets on his horse, goes back to Charleston, is like, hello, I need to talk to the authorities. They're like, sorry, we're talking to Dave Ross right now. I get in line, get all these rats to deal with. He's trying to do a set, so. Oh, my gosh. They the police finally go and they have like a real reason to investigate the six mile in and they start investigating the rooms and pick this up too early.

And when they're there, of course, they discover dozens of traveler's belongings. These missing people, all the belongings are there. Driver's license. Hearings, they find an herb that could, like, knock you out for as long as need be, like it's all the evidence is piling up. Then they find hidden passages and then they find the mechanism that triggers the trap door in the floorboards under the bed, and then they go into the basement where they find hundreds of sets of human remains.

They just I guess they just basically just dumped them all down there, kind of like your dungeon, just like just leave them there. I guess it's already if life already smells really bad in general. Yeah. They're not going to notice the smell. Now, it's like we shit in like the corner. Yeah. In a bucket in the corner. So it's cool. Just don't worry about it. So the Fishers are arrested. Of course, they plead not guilty.

The judge orders them to remain in old Charleston jail until the trial. That's what I was waiting for, Larry. Still standing to this day, right? Apartments are the apartments I would live in. The old Charleston jail laughs it's an open floor plan filled with ghosts. Oh, that's beautiful, isn't it? Gorgeous. I honestly fucking live there offices. She said there's an office and then she herself. You did a great job. On September 13, 18, 19, Lavenia and John try to escape by the old classic, tying all the sheets together in a sheet ladder.

When is that ever work? I mean, it doesn't work here. John gets out, but the sheet chain breaks before Lavinia can get down to it's fucking Scooby Doo shit. Now, I know what it's like when you get down here. I have a huge sandwich and a talking dog. But here's the thing about John. He doesn't leave her. Oh, he fucking allows himself to get recaptured and try to take the heat off of her. Are you crying?

No. I don't no, not at all. No, but that's very sweet. I think it's beautiful. They both are found guilty of robbery. At the time as a Hannibal offense, sure, just basically how they took care of business back then across the board, they also got murder. OK, good. I was hoping that one tip once you get hanging. Yeah, it's all gravy right there. Sentenced to be hung in the old gallows behind the old Charleston jail.

Till they die. Till they die. Yeah. February 18th, 80-20 John accepts his fate and he only pleads to the priest to save his soul, not Lavinia Lavinia's, but she's pissed in court. She says, I can't be home. I'm a wife. And so the judge goes, OK, well, then we'll just you and your husband first. Oh, shit. Yeah, it's like a rap battle, like an early fuckin insult, though.

Oh, you think you have a solution? Yeah. Watch my mind at work. Yeah. So then the next trick she had to leave was she walked out to get hung in her wedding dress. Oh, because she believed that if people if somebody in the crowd because as you're saying, it's like people love to show up for hanging out. That was like the thing to do. That was like Shakespeare in the park for these people. So she figured she would look beautiful in her wedding dress and maybe a man would want to marry her real quick.

And you can't hang a bride. Doesn't work. No one's into her. No one thinks she's hot because also you got to think about like I'm thinking of like a Vera Wang. There's like bling, as they say, and puffy sleeves. No, this is just like fucking white rags to shreds. It's several white rags. Sound exactly like she tried to escape with it. Didn't work. She makes a wedding dress tied up Scooby Doo. She's.

Save me, save me, I killed everybody, want to save me. So, of course it doesn't work. Then she refuses to walk. So they have to drag this murderous bride across the gallows. And with the noose around her neck, she rants and raves while all the Charleston socialites listen to her scream these words. If you have a message you want to send help, give it to me. I'll carry it. What about this of most bad ass fucking gang and screaming to like the Real Housewives of the eighteen hundreds, like getting their.

What the fuck did she just say to us? She looked right at me. Oh, shit, she wasn't just the for America's first female serial killer, she was also the first bridezilla. Thank you. I just thought it was amazing. Not written on this page, then final final move, which actually makes me love her 100 percent. She fuckin jumps off the. She did it herself. Oh, my God. Because she probably die quicker.

I don't know, but I love that fucking idea, like the guy sitting there waiting to, like, drop the floor out from under her, which is her move. And instead she's like, yeah, that. Betty. Love you, Lavinia. She's like, hold my beer. I got. Should they watch this? Oh, my God, what is going to be nuts? And that shows her wedding dress. The residents say that living here still haunts the old days.

She does. They say that her ghost has been seen in the cells walking around and wearing her wedding dress. It has been amazing. And that's the story of Charleston's Lavinia. It was a journey that was amazing. I'm so thankful I went first, but then I thought, wow, that's like a dungeon story, aside from how. That's such a great idea. What if someone in the back was like, oh, I'd like to tell my asshole uncle to fuck off?

I mean, she was going to take my message, little pieces of paper handed over to her. I really, really I'm so sorry that happened. She's just crying. Science, technology, engineering and math key because mission is to help kids build confidence, creativity and critical thinking skills and have a whoa awesome experience while they're doing it. Each grade is designed by experts and tested by kids and teaches a new steam concept.

Each box is delivered monthly and comes with all the supplies needed for that month's project. No extra runs to the store, plus detailed kid friendly instructions and enriching magazine filled with content to learn more about the crate's theme.

Each line caters to different age groups, and there are a variety of topics, from science to art to geography.

With kyriakos hands on art and science projects, kids can engineer a walking robot, design a paint pendulum, conduct bubbling chemistry experiments and more, all from the comfort of home. I kind of want one of these for myself.

Everything you need to make steam seriously fun delivered to your doorstep. Now get 50 percent off your first month, plus free shipping on any crate line with code MFM. That's 50 percent off your first month at Kaixi Y SEO Dotcom Promo Code MFM. Goodbye. You should take coloring your hair at home to the next level with Madison. OK, because I deserve gorgeous professional hair color delivered right to my door, starting at just twenty two bucks, outdated at home, hair color, or the time and expense of a traditional salon.

Many Madison Reed clients comment on how their new hair color has improved their actual incredible lives. Mm hmm. Women love the results. They get gorgeous, shiny, multidimensional and healthy looking hair. This is game changing. Omonia free color you can do at home and look as if you just came from the salon. Madison reads, Color is crafted by master Italian colorists who blend nuances of light, dark, cool and warm tones to create over Fifty Five shades.

And like Karen, I know what you're thinking. OK, but how do I match my Karen color? Well, don't worry. Madison Reed gives you the tools that you care and need so you can color with Karen confidence. That's what I am looking for. Karen, level confidence here. And we have to really say, and this is the truth, the idea that Madison Reed gets your color so accurate, it's such good hair color, it makes your hair healthy, and then they're just delivered, delivering it to you on a sweet schedule.

So the second you see those routes, you're like, boom, here's my delivery.

Like, deliver this to me. And I have two colors that I go between one. And I'm like, it's too dark. And then I go lighter and I'm like, I don't like myself like this. And it's both of them are the perfect thing that I want when I constantly change my mind. It's it's really nice. Yeah, that's great. So find your perfect shade at Madison Reed and our listeners get ten percent off plus free shipping on their first color kit with code murder.

Ten, that's murder ten at Madison Dasari Dotcom.

Goodbye. Wow, Karen, as the applause said, great job with that one, are you are you seconding the applause?

Wow, I double down on that. Applause. Karen, thank you and thank you. Twenty eighteen. Applause Yeah, it's I feel like it was yesterday. I wish I could go back on that stage and warn everyone about coming distance.

OK, so mine actually is timely. It's it's a Thanksgiving Day killing, so it's perfect timing. Next week is Thanksgiving and you don't have to see your family. Congratulations. Yeah.

You get automatic get out of a family function that's come on by.

Have you asked for a bigger gift ever and gotten I mean. No, just party. Party a party about everybody. OK, this story from Minneapolis, Minnesota, one of our favorite fucking towns. And it's we did a show on May 19th, twenty nineteen at the Northrop Auditorium.

Beautiful place.

And so this is the crazy story of murderer Byron David Smith and the Thanksgiving Day killings.

Oh, shit. Can we get security security right away? Just like just hanging out? You know, it's almost like with like Lincoln. There should have been like some security, like security at the door. You know, it's easy to judge now in times, but back then all they had were lanterns and hope.

Lice, don't forget long and don't forget those bedbugs, did you I recently read an article that bedbugs survived the bee asteroid that that killed all the dinosaurs.

That's pretty awesome. Bedbugs lived. That's cool. Roaches. Was that roaches? A bedbug? It was bedbugs in the article I read. OK, but we can definitely talk about roaches because that's just as gross as bedbugs or barf.

I have to. Have you ever had bedbugs? No, I have to say that like five and a half months of traveling and we haven't had a single scare. I think it's like I think I'm waiting every fucking time I get home to start itching to get out of that. Well, I think about I'll tell you all the fucking things. All right. All right. We're going to get a we're going to get rid of all of it tonight on being up and up.

All right. Let me tell you, about 100 hundred miles outside of Minneapolis in Mawson County is a small town of Little Falls.

Not so small. No, they're all here tonight. Small, small, but mighty little falls. That's right. It's one of the oldest European American cities in Minnesota, the river town. It's a river town. And the slogan is where the Mississippi pauses.

Oh, I don't know. Maybe they built a dam. I don't know. It's just like it's like idyllic. I like everyone loves it, Joe. I don't know if that's true. Get the feeling you get. Yeah, it's idyllic, but not so in twenty twelve for sixty four year old Little Falls resident Byron David Smith. Yeah, he is a local curmudgeon. I called him. I see a real crumb. He's a real crumb. Tell them.

Tell them why. That's funny. We had a this is just going to be a series of sidebar apology all stumble out of here in two hours. Whisper to your drag along.

It's usually better than we got in Milwaukee. We had a woman come up named Stacy, who was the home, who told her hometown. And she was amazing. And at one point while she was describing the terrible murder, I think, by hand of a husband killing his wife, and she told some really specific and terrible detail and the whole audience went in. She goes, I know he's a real Krumm. Kerry lost. I had it full on nervous breakdown.

It was so inappropriate, so he was yes, he was a real crime, a real crime. So he lives in a home in a secluded area near the Mississippi River and a bunch of acres of land and shit. And he's fed up at this point in twenty twelve of his house being broken into. Let me show you a picture of him. He sucks. OK, there he is. All right. Right. Yeah, so, um, so it had been going on for about a year, these break ins, and first was someone breaking into his garage and they had smashed stuff and like, tipped things over and stolen some things and like his old military clothing.

And by late 2012, his house had been burglarized at least half a dozen times over the preceding few months. And he had only reported one of those burglaries to police. And investigators found evidence of only two previous burglaries. But among the items stolen were four thousand dollars in cash. His father's watch and some of his medals from Vietnam. Wow, coins from his collection worth thrown five thousand dollars and a bunch of other shit. And they have also stolen his guns, which he said had scared him because now they have his guns.

So he's not scared of his own guns. Yeah, I leave them in a room by themselves because I don't want to be near them. And now someone else has the right. And that's when trouble starts when. So then a friend of his who was a neighbor saw a local teenage girl walking to the bus stop wearing his army jacket that he knew was hers. And so he's fucking pissed off because so because he, Byron Smith, had been trained a trained security engineer for the US State Department.

So security was his fucking thing. He was in charge of clearly wasn't right. That's correct. He didn't bring his work home with him in any way, apparently he had gone to embassies all over the world and had been in charge of making sure their embassies were secure until 2006. And his retirement, when he moved back home to the house with his mother and then his mother had died about a year before. So I'm sure I wrote I'm sure his ego was kicked in the dick when he found out a teenage girl was breaking into his home.

Well, yeah, it doesn't feel good, but we're like we're teenage girls are wily lunches and they're scrappy as fuck. So he began wearing a holster with a loaded gun inside his house and installed a security system in his home as well. So now we get to Thanksgiving Day 2012. Smith had been visiting with his neighbors when he saw a car that he thought was casing his home. He then commented to the neighbors that he was visiting, that he needed to get ready for her and went to his home to prepare himself for a break in.

First, he drove his vehicle down the road, out of the parking, his, you know, driveway, they call him. He drives his vehicle off his driveway and down the street, parking in front of a neighbor's home. So it looked like no one was home in his house. Then he went back to his house. He removed light bulbs from the ceiling light. So it was dark and he positioned a comfortable chair. It's a fucking lazy boy, let's be honest, in the basement so that it would be obscured from the view of someone walking down the basement stairs.

So here's. So that's his fucking recliner, OK, between those two bookcases and then and then. So see that bookcase on the right in between the bookcase and the other one is where his recliner is. So the person walking downstairs wouldn't see wouldn't know someone sitting there. Exactly. And there's a Tiffany lamp and you know, shit like that. He still has exquisite taste, even though he's a super creepy. OK, so he also loads two guns, a revival now a revolver and a rifle, which, if you put them together, would be called a revival.

So a revival. I'm not wrong. I just invented a new fucking gun. Don't be so intimidated by her brains. Steven trademark that. That was that was the best I've ever done. But he and at the bottom of the stairs, he sets down a tarp so that if he shoots anyone, he can wrap the body and at the bottom of the stairs. So he's he's prepping. He's taking he is taking the law into his own hands, OK?

He settles into his reading chair with water, snacks and a novel and waits for someone to break in. What book by Jackie Collins do you think he was reading? I tried to find out what book was right. And I was like, That's not important, George. What's wrong with you? Georgia, it's five fifty six. You have to finish this. Yeah. It turns out your show starts at seven and not eight. You didn't know that.

Get your shit together together. OK, so later that day, he's sitting in his chair watching his video surveillance footage from outside the house that he had set up all these video cameras. And I have to say, go ahead. It's just that is a fun thing to do. You ever watch it when people have security cameras and you can just watch innocent people who don't know they're on camera? Oh, just walking around. My friend had an apartment where one of the channels on the TV was the front door, like closed circuit television.

Is that legal? I it was in 1995 and so we would literally sit around his apartment drinking beer and watching the front door. And we did it one time and we were all shitfaced and some of our friends started leaving, it was blank at the action, Laura Billiken and they walked out and walked through the camera and then Blaine started strangling Laura like it was like a little silent TV show play of a murder. What if someone else in the building was watching that, too?

Right, exactly. Exactly. Well, that was that's like such a stoner thing to do, just like sit and watch that. It was ninety five here. Well, OK. All right. Settles into his fucking asshole chair. OK, so it's watching us. Nope. No, he's sitting in his chair. He's watching the surveillance video. One of the cameras could have been pointed toward that chatroom and you can see all this. I wouldn't recommend it, but you can see this video surveillance on all these fucking shows.

And it captures a 17 year old Nick Brady casing the property before he breaks a window and sneaks in. So downstairs, Smith hears the window break and proceeds to wait in silence for 12 minutes as Nick begins to end, like looks around in the house and then he starts to go downstairs. Like in those 12 minutes, he could have called the cops. He had a phone right next to him and said, someone's breaking into my house. He could have done all of that.

He doesn't. He waits in silence with all because at this point, they've been fucking with the wrong person, essentially. And he's pissed and he has paranoid. It's a bad combination. It's like the perfect storm. Right, exactly. And so but he doesn't want you know, he doesn't want the cops to be there. Otherwise he would know he wants to take care of business. So 12 minutes after he breaks and Nick begins to descend the stairs into the basement.

And as soon as as Byron Smith in his chair sees Nick's like legs and hip, he shoots him twice and Nick falls to the bottom of the stairs onto that tarp that he had set up and shoots him again in the head point blank. Whoa, that's fucked up. Then he wraps Nick's body in a tarp and drags him into the other room and he there's like blood and, you know, stuff on the carpet. And so he takes a rug and covers it, which is like, you know, he does it so that when someone else comes in, they won't see that that's had to have happened and won't run.

They'll come downstairs. Yeah. Which is insane. It's like a trap, right? Yes. So doubted it at all. He washes his hands some time goes by and then he runs back to his chair and reloaded his weapon and takes up his previous position and the obscure chair. And this is because the reason he goes back to his chair is because not long after he had killed Nick, he had spotted an eight year old cousin, Hayley Kiffer.

She was a senior at Little Falls High School, and she had been sitting in the car waiting for her cousin, Nick. She knew he was breaking in and she had just been waiting in the car for him. They were very close. The cousins, Nick and Hayley, they were more like siblings and cousins. And in the show Hear No Evil on Discovery ID, which is so brilliantly named. It's just, you know, murders that have sound and things in them.

You would hear no evil like recordings.

Oh, at it. Yeah, now I do, because I explained it so well, I'm surprised you didn't get. Well, because there's so many things have sound things in it that I just was trying to figure out. Name one, I think. You're right. You're right. I can't think of one thing, soldier. OK, so she had been she had been waiting in the fucking car for her cousin to come back.

He's like, I'm going to run in and say, oh, so I'm just gonna hear no evil and discover. The grandfather says that that they he acknowledges that they did some what he calls bonehead things, but they were like good kids. So they were 17 and 18 year old bored teens in the small town and they were doing some shit. It's like not fucking argued that they, you know, were on a bad path, but they were so young, you know.

Yeah. So they had stopped so that it could break into Byron's house before they the two of them were to head to the family's house for Thanksgiving dinner. Right. So when Nick doesn't come out, Hailey is like, what the fuck happened? She she goes into the house and and tries to find Nick. So she's calling her cousin's name and she makes her way down the basement stairs and Smith shoots her. She's wounded. She falls down the stairs and Smith shoots her multiple times and including in her left eye.

And he yeah, he kills her. And then he tosses her body on top of her cousin's killing, shooting her one more time and killing her like this was his plan. He leaves the teen's bodies in the basement workroom until the following day. He leaves them there and then he calls a neighbor and asks for help finding a lawyer. He doesn't call the cops. He calls his neighbor. The neighbor calls police, says they're Norm. That's what you do.

It's a basic thing. When police asked Smith why he waited until the next day to notify police of the shootings, he says he didn't want to bother the police on Thanksgiving. He said if my Thanksgiving was ruined doesn't mean yours needs to be as well. How big of you? You know, so Smith is brought in for interrogation and you can, like, watch these videos and shit and actually hear no evil does a really good job of reenactments with the actual video.

No recorded stuff, the audio, you know. Thank you. So he calmly and politely cooperates with police and describes to them like monotone, like he's having a conversation about what he has for fuckin lunch. He describes them the events that led up to the murders and matter of factly describes the shootings in chilling detail. He tells authorities that he finished off Hayle with the shot under her chin with a because a with a with the shotgun, because a 22 caliber quote doesn't go through bone while he's explaining it like he went deer hunting or something.

And he says that Hailey, after she fell down the stairs, when she got shot the first time he had tried to shoot her with the shotgun again, but it had misfire like it wouldn't shoot, what do they call a jammed thank you. And then he says that she laughed at him when he did that. And so he said, quote, If you're trying to shoot someone and they laugh at you, you go again.

But here's the thing. Before settling into his recliner in the basement, Byron Smith had set up a digital recorder and there were at least six hours of audio of the entire event. God, yeah.

So when investigators listen, they find no record of Hailey laughing, only her cries of fear. And you can find this pretty easily. And I recommend that you don't. It's really fucking troubling. And she after she shot the first time she's heard on the recording screaming, I'm sorry, and oh, my God. And he calls her a bitch and shoots her again and kills her. It's horrific. I yeah. So and there are other inconsistencies to Brian's claims of self-defense and fear.

He said that he had done it because he was so scared someone was breaking his house. But it doesn't add up prior to the break. And he's heard talking to himself on that recording saying stuff like in your left eye, which he later shot Haley in her left eye and quote, I realized I don't have an appointment, but I would like to see one of the lawyers here. And it sounds like he's on the phone trying to get a lawyer when they look at his phone records.

He hasn't made any calls. He's just practicing saying that the next day, knowing that he's doing something that is going to need to involve a lawyer. Here's the thing. If you had six hours recorded of somebody at their house walking around, talking by itself, a non murderer, just a person, it would be the creepiest thing you've ever heard. Oh, my God. You don't want to know what people are saying and practicing fucking ranting about.

And like, it's me yelling at my eyebrows as I put them and shit and then and then practicing. I was like, oh, really? Because I actually didn't say that. And the thing is that you said it first and I said it after. Yet there's all that that against me, we don't know. It really could be any. There's no proof. No, there's no proof of anything. So the idea that then this is fucking audio recording of a person who is coldblooded, Lee planning murder.

Right. It's so weird that he he knows it's on. He's the one who recorded it in a way that was like Ilesha, like he did it so that he could prove that it was self-defense because it's in his fucking mind. That's what that he was doing. Right. So, OK, so following the shootings, Smith made a number of other statements, including, quote, I'm not a bleeding heart liberal. I felt like I was cleaning up a mess.

I was doing my civic duty. This is all him talking to himself. Yeah. If and if the law enforcement system couldn't handle it, I had to do it and I had to clean it up. And then he said, it's all fun, cool, exciting and highly profitable until someone kills you like he's talking shit to these fucking teens that he just killed. Don't listen. Listen, if you're into that, don't terrible. You shouldn't listen.

I will not ever I don't want to listen now. So Smith's recorded statements, the evidence and the evidence indicating he had planned the shootings, along with the excessive number of shots fired, led to Smith being indicted on two counts of first degree murder on an April 2013 great.

Yes, he posts the fifty thousand dollar bail and while on bail, lives with his neighbor and her six year old son. I'm like, Mom, don't do that. Please, Mom, Mom, can we not? Are they sharing a bunk bed like what happened and why? And why? The charges against Byron Smith sparked this huge debate in in the county and in the state over what's called the castle doctrine. So y'all love guns here. I guess we're from fucking California and we don't do that now.

Rape? No, no. I mean, like hunting. I don't mean like you guys are. You know what I mean? We're going to sink it. I swear to God we're going to do it. We're going to do it. Yeah. Just wait while I read. The reason I say that is because I was, of course, looking at up on our email account and saying if anyone had wrote in about this and someone was from there and explaining what it was like there and said, for example, when we had raffles at school, we'd raffle off shotguns like.

I mean, like I didn't know that was weird until I got older. OK, but also when you're from like I'm from a rural part of Northern California and everybody had a gun, the boys got guns for their 12th birthday. Very common. Yeah. And they're like shotguns and, you know, stuff like that. Not, you know, not handguns. Right. It's a yeah. It's a different thing. Yes. Agreed. From Southern California.

Sorry. OK, Irvine, Irvine. OK, so the Castle Doctrine allows a homeowner to defend his home with lethal lethal force. But Minnesota has what's known as a reasonable person doctrine. So basically. Thank you. So now wouldn't that be nice? Can we have that fucking open a nationwide fucking reasonable person? It's basically what a reasonable person view what he has he had done to defend himself and his home, or what would a reasonable person do in this situation when someone's breaking into their home.

So legal analysis, analysis have stated that the analysts, analysts. Thank you. Of course, it's like Analise crazy all over the place, and they state that the initial shooting most likely would have been justified under Minnesota's laws, but that the subsequent shots were not justified once any threat had been removed. So once he realized they didn't have weapons and they didn't have, you know, a gun, which is they didn't have anything on them, that that threat had been removed.

So Hamline University School of Law Professor, they're fighting. You have to do it. Already done the fighting briefcases?

No, but there is probably not. What a law school Cmax mascot to be the law professor, Joseph Olson says, quote, I think the first shot is justified after the person is no longer a threat because they're seriously wounded. The application of self-defense is over. And Sheriff Whetsel from there said that the law doesn't permit you to execute somebody once a threat is gone. And at trial, the prosecution alleges that Smith's actions showed aspects of lying in wait and especially like moving his car so that they didn't think anyone was home lying in wait and compared Smith's setup to a deer stand.

A hunter. What do you. That's what it made me think of. Yeah. Yeah. So and the jury also learned a little bit about Smith's background, including that he served in the military and he was trained in surveillance. So he, you know, was doing what had been his job, only it was with teenagers. The trial last 17 months during which it was debated whether Byron Smith Smith acted in self-defense or killed two teenage intruders in cold blood.

And on April 29th, 2014, the jury deliberated for three hours before convicting Smith on two counts of first degree murder and second degree murder with premeditation.

He was immediately sentenced so he didn't get to spend another night with a 16 year old and the bunk bed, thank God, immediately sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole.

Yeah, Byron Smith's own audio recordings were named by the jurors as the biggest influence on their decision, which is so cocky of him that he thought it would show that he exonerate him. Right. Like he had no fucking understanding of just humane treatment of people, that he thought that this would show that they deserved it somehow. Right. So they said that that was the biggest influence. And one of the 12 jurors said that, quote, The audio recordings pretty much convinced me that we were dealing with a deranged individual.

Some of the jurors later said that they believe Smith had waited a full day before reporting the shootings because he had wanted to see whether other burglars would show up, which makes sense. He even unscrewed other light bulbs from fixtures as night fell so that any new intruders wouldn't be able to see in his basement, almost like he was trying to get them more to come after the verdicts, Morrison County Sheriff Michael Wetzel said, quote, This isn't a case about whether you have the right to protect yourself in your home.

You very clearly do. That's a given. Rather, this is a case about where the limits are before and after a threat to you or your home occurs. So, yeah, which is really cool that the sheriff said that. I think so. More than 500 people attended the funeral of Haley. And friends describe Haley Kaifa as a kind girl. She was a competitive athlete. She wasn't a gym, gymnastics, diving, softball and cross-country neck Friend said, was outgoing and always seemed to be smiling.

There's like so many photos of him smiling. He worked alongside his father at his tree trimming business. And, you know, they they were kids like we were when we were young, which is just trying to, you know, have fun and making some big mistakes that eventually you straighten out. Right. In twenty sixteen, Smith's attorneys start a new trial, but the Minnesota Supreme Court ruled that the murder conviction stood. And the justices also ruled that they ordered the Kiffer Kaifa and Brady families be paid more than nineteen thousand dollars to cover the cost of the children's headstones.

And that is the story of the murder of Hayley and Nick. Yeah. Wow. That's fucking heavy shit, right? Oh, my God, George, what a dick, what a tale. Yeah, it's really sad. What a Thanksgiving tale. That one is stuck with me since I did it.

So what's our hometown? Oh, so.

Well, the hometown is from the show that you just threw, too. So basically, clearly I'm the one that shit the bed during that show because we want to play the whole thing.

I didn't think of it that way. I must have heard that sick shame and I refuse to let you continue. Narrative doesn't Stephen doesn't like my work because he. You shouldn't use my story in that way.

No. No. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah. No, no, no. Any number of things could happen. And sometimes sometimes what it is is like, oh, Stephen's like the recording started out right. There's like things like that. It is not it's not always parents don't always our call. There's over the hundreds and hundreds of live shows were done or at least a couple hundred yards. Say there's been a couple technical difficulties here and there. That's right.

So but this hometown is it is we're going back to Minneapolis and it basically is the way we wrapped up the show.

That means that if this hometown isn't fucking amazing, we're going to be mad at you. So much pressure, no pressure. It means to be this year over year. The man that made this to happen, Vince Cable, everybody. He's kept us honest. We're all doing our best. He's kept us on time, so let's fucking do this home down and hit the bricks for real.

Thank you. And I'm OK. We'll just tell you the rules. You know them, but I'm going to go over them quickly. Let us end on a high note. Tell us a real good story that's from here. We would love for it to be Minneapolis or St. Paul or somewhere close by. Definitely within the state. Don't bring that other outer state bullshit around. We don't want to hear it. Everyone will hate your guts. It you need to know it.

You need to be able to tell it quickly and concisely. And it should have a beginning, a middle and an end. Not just this story tonight, but any story you ever tell anyone. It's very important. Yeah. Don't point at anyone if you don't know their story, because I will blame you. That's right. It and now as a group, you could decide amongst yourself who has the best story, someone. And then let the person with the best story stab your teacher, raise both your hand.

Oh, God. Do you want to pick the last one? What do you want to pick the last one? I think you've been on a roll. You do a great job. OK, pink hair. Oh, shit. A Jesus is like the price is right. Go that way. Go that way. Oh, no. Come on down. Hi. You guys all right. I don't understand how you are hanging up there. It makes no sense.

Gravity from this angle, it looks incredibly dangerous. Hi, it's Syria. Everybody in Syria come over here. But where are you from? I'm from Eagan, Minnesota. OK, suburb, she said. What's your hometown, OK, my hometown murder is the attempted murder of my grandfather, underdog. So this is heartland Minnesota in 1970, about an hour and a half south of here, close to Albert Lee. Yeah. And so it's 1970 summer.

My grandfather is like the pastor in town. So he was a pastor. Yeah. OK, what's the. Sorry. So he performs all the marriage ceremonies, you know, in town because small town. And so there's this couple that is to be married soon. Small town. Everybody knows them. There's this weird man in town who is secretly obsessed with and in love with the woman in this couple. This man is Paul R. Backstrom, and he decides he's going to kill my grandpa to prevent the the ceremony from happening.

Oh, my very bad logic. But yeah, I think that it would like pause it, but I think maybe it's a very bad plan. Yeah. So one night he drives by my grandfather's house and shoots four bullets into the house. One goes into my dad and uncle's room like could have hit one of them. I could like not exist, you know. Oh heavy. Yeah, yeah. But like no one dies. They like wake up.

They're like like what is that. How old are they. Like kids are ranging from like nine to 14. Oh at this point. Yeah. And so they're like what's going on in the my grandparents are like just go to bed, we'll take care of it, go back to bed in the room that just got shot. Yeah. And so, but like the man Paul Langstrom, he just drives to the police department and like confesses and turns himself in.

And so I mean he gave up pretty quick but it's nice and nice of him. It is. So no one in my family got killed. But his mother, who he lived with, he shot and murdered her shortly before driving to my grandmother's house.

Oh, no. Yeah. So, like, the threat is super real. Oh my gosh. Nineteen seventies one. Yeah. And he went to prison so yeah, it was super hard to find any information about this, but there was like a few articles talking about, like he was getting convicted of like attempted murder and like second degree murder. And according to my uncle, he went to prison. So there you go. Perfections, very everyone.

Great job. Great Tongala. Yes, nice, great job, good job. Thanks. Oh, my God, magical. Thank you.

Thanks for participating.

You know, right now we should thank everybody that used to come to our live shows, make a poster, stand up, have lit, lit up necklaces and flashlights and scream, scream to the point where they were threatening us to try to get picked up there and that they want to get picked point at random strangers.

We're sorry you never got picked. You'll get a chance. Yeah. Looking like around twenty, twenty three. Cannot wait. That's right. You should do a tour where we just require every audience member to get on stage and tell us any story at all.

Well what do you think the whole show, the whole 90 minutes is just hometown. We don't even have to do homework anymore. It's just that after home, that's the picture. Your hometown, we sit on stage, we pass the mic.

Yeah. And we're just like, you don't fucking story. Yeah.

And then we'll decide and then I'll heckle you while you're Dukane back in line. I guess I'm drinking wine by twenty twenty three again. You know, who knows what could happen. Yeah. Who knows. Hopefully God willing. Can I just tell you this has popped into my head. So Vince Averil, America's husband hymns me the last time I saw you guys hipped me to using an app where someone goes grocery shopping for me. Oh yeah. I never, I never used it.

And then in the beginning of quarantine, people were kind of trying to it sounded like people were saying they were it was wrong to use them, OK, was the feeling I got. Yeah.

Or just like, you know, whatever. So yeah. And so when I brought that up, dementia's, you know, just give him a big tip and then they're, they're already doing it. Yeah. And then you're saying thank you and you're fine. And I'm like I, I really need to talk to you more often. So today I, I ordered it and at one point the, the guy had to text me and go, hey, sorry, they're all out of Haribo Sauers spaghetti gomi.

It's like, it's just like oh no. Like a conversation and he, he no joke. He was like they have these and he kept telling the other gummies that they had just humiliating you after humiliation.

Hi Elvis. Come here. It's, it was almost like, it was almost like bullying but he was trying to do his job the best he could and I truly was like it's for the best. At one point I text him, it's for the best. It please take it off. It's it's not doing me or you anymore. I don't mean. But I swear, if you haven't tried Haribo sour spaghetti. Right. Telling you what to do.

That's the new one. It's a new one because it's easier, it's easier and less messy to eat than a nerd's group. And it also has like it has a pencil or pencil eraser consistency when you're stressed. Right. So you're kind of like stressed. You're exactly. Love it. Well, thanks for listening, everyone. You got to this this far, then. You're you're a true follower, Motorino. And we appreciate you. We love you.

We appreciate you. We hope you're taking it easy. Yeah. Please, please relax. We love you. Stay sexy and don't get murdered.

Go. Bye, Elvis.

You want a cookie.

You want a cookie, I. Hi, I'm Carol Klencke, and I'm Lisa Trager, and we are the amateur detectives who kind of investigate the vicious felonies that episodes of Law and Order SAORVIEW are based on.

These are our stories sometimes tune into our new show That's Messed Up and ArcView podcast premiering December 8th on exactly right. Every Tuesday, we break down episodes of Law and Order, Special Victims Unit, the crimes they're based on, and we interview actors from the show. Are we going to try to get Olivia Benson? Of course. Are we also going to talk to the bartender who doesn't stop unloading glasses while he recounts a murder victim's exact drink order?

Yes, and you might be thinking, oh, no. Do I have to have seen all 479 episodes to enjoy the show? No, you don't. We have done that for you. Hello, USA Network.

Thanks for all your characters. We'll take you through the episode and then do a deep dive into the true crime. It's based on luck. It's S.V.. So we're covering some pretty messed up cases, but we're comedians. So we're also going to talk about Bensons hair. Yeah, you're going to get it. All classic cases like Mary Kay Letourneau, Casey Anthony and Elizabeth Smart and lesser known cases like the Ken and Barbie killers, the Collier brothers and the boogeyman of Westfield join us as we learn new things.

Why does anybody go to university? In the Saorview universe? It is literally riddled with rapes and murders. In real life or honest view, there is always problems.

The university is not real. Oh, it's not. Oh, wow. Learning something every episode. I did not know that.

And we share super deep observations. The news gets out.

She's a cyber bullier and there's like a beauty and the beast style like brigade. Oh yeah. A mob goes to her house, which I always find so funny. And it's like in New York City, people don't talk to their neighbors. But in this show, people are constantly like at a neighbor's house, like, get out of here. Yeah, rapist. We've got opinions on judges, Judge Palumbo.

He is disgusting. I'm getting chills thinking about this judge.

Lawyers, Buchannan, like for sure, got his law degree at Trump University, I suspect. So we meet Deserve Fidelia Babydaddy, and he is a true monster wearing gold chains and a T-shirt that says reckoned sex and getting sex. And he's like deejaying somewhere and trying to like use slang with iced tea and iced teas like I will Mother Kill You and our powerful, beautiful queen Maresca.

I just feel like Mariska Hargitay is physically incapable of having a bad haircut.

I mean, like even that spiky season to look, it's like it's still a surf like she does it, you know what I mean? And all those moments we love ArcView for what a twist.

We learn that this guy learned how to butt chug alcohol via his mother. He's been helping his mother. But Schug for years. And we've interviewed some incredible guest stars who spill all the time.

Can I be honest? Yes. Yeah, it's truly a scoop. I didn't imagine a minute.

And I was like, if I didn't get my interview with Mariska, I'm a I so appreciate you breaking your no interview rule for us.

You're asking me this, too, but it's just so be sure to listen to that's Messed Up and Saorview podcast when it premieres Tuesday, December 8th on exactly right. Subscribe right now on Stitcher Apple podcast or wherever you pod.

Dun dun.