Happy Scribe

This is exactly right. OK, everybody get ready, because you guys are about to hear the very first episode of our newest exactly right podcast, Bananas, it's hosted by our good friends, comedian Kurt Braunohler and Scotty Landis. So each week, Kurt and Scotty are going to bring you the most absurd, shocking or fascinating news from around the world.


And all these stories are absolutely true, but they're just weird enough that they're going to make you go, that's bananas. So take a listen right now to the first episode with guests Kristen Schaal. And then you can go to the bananas feed directly and you can hear episode two with me, Georgia Howard Stark. That's out right now.


And then please subscribe and listen on Stitcher Apple podcast or wherever you listen and follow the show on Instagram at the Bananas podcast.


Enjoy. Good. Goodbye. Enjoy. Hey, guys, thanks for listening.


Bananas. Just a quick disclaimer in that this episode was recorded before the world ended. So if it seems like we're talking about going out and touching other human beings know that this was in an earlier, more innocent time, we didn't know how bad it was going to be.


But Chris and Charles are guests and we actually have a wonderful conversation and a really fun time. Something that we want to do on the show is actually positive and not bring you down. So we hope everybody out there safe and healthy.


We hope you have stocked wipes and toilet paper and food and enjoy this first episode of Bananas.


Bananas today have bananas man walking. Oddly found to have 21 live pigeons in pants.


Yeah, that's that's bananas.


Tell the world what you believe that. You lied to us and this is what you try. David Leyonhjelm, welcome to Bananas, the podcast, you you could laugh crested, you're allowed to laugh, you could laugh. Christan it's a comedy. This is Kirp Rattler that Scotland is our first episode ever. And we have with us my name is Chris Anshul.


But I really just want you to to build up the show together as a team before you bring me in. Since it's your show, not mine.


You're so upset. You have so many shows. I figure you're too busy. You had to come through.


I saw your billboard today for my spot. I saw your name up there on Hollywood Boulevard.


That's right there. And my name above the title. Yes, you have that title belongs to the nine year old. That's the first one.


That's your first name above title, isn't it? Maybe it's a big deal. Congratulations.


Well, thank you very much, because I'll go see it. Let's go see it together to see at least what we saw on the theater. Yeah. Were you there?


I saw it at the premiere. You got invited to the premiere? Yeah. Let's go to the premiere of this.


Yeah. I don't think there's going to be one. Oh no. Oh yeah.


That's a that's a fun level of having a premiere. I mean it, I've been asking a few times. I don't think it's getting a premiere.


Well I know what it's good. I well I've seen it.


Wait what is it. And what's the name of the movie. So everyone knows this is called My Spy.


It comes out March 13th. When does this podcast's come out? April 21st. Yeah.


Maybe it'll still be a date. It probably will. I probably will.


That's how it works these days. Movies just last and last and last. It's a real easy landscape right now for movies, but it's a good.


It's good. I liked it. Oh, good.


Well, Kristen Kristen is known Scottie and I for many, many years. You and I have been doing a show together for fifteen years. Fifteen years on Monday.


I know. And your book on Saturday. My birthday is on Saturday as well. What do you want for you.


But where's my present? You give me my birthday present.


It's very difficult to make. I'm still working on making your presence. It's kombucha and it's delicious. But it's got alcohol and it's booze. Yeah, well, okay.


Because because I because I haven't gotten you anything and you know, if you got me like a level of a gift that I would have to wait until I give you the level of the gift and then you'll have to match it.


Yeah. So yeah. So just so I mean like this, this is going to be we're going to get to our strange and wonderful news. But before we do like just so people know how Kristen knows Scotty and I.


Scotty, how did you come into our lives?


I was working on a TV show called Stella. I was in the sound department and an actress named Andrea Rose and said, you have to come to the show. It's called Hot Tub. And it was one of your first five hot tubs maybe that we perform to maybe the old party people.


Yeah. And I sat in the front row and I thought you guys were so good. I actually went up and introduced myself to Kristen and she thought I was a homosexual because I was there with another friend and we were very positive.


I assume everybody's gay. Yes. Well, assumes everybody straight. I'm never I'm only surprised when I find out they're straight. Yeah.


And I thought about that. I got on the train, ride it to Coney Island, rode it back out to Queens. I had a long night of just self reflection and I said, I want to work with these two. And then I was working for Red Bull and Kurt was hired to teach improv to Salesforce.


That is the weirdest job I've ever had. Yeah, and so he did. And I was like, you're that guy from that show. And then I think I just attended probably like, I don't know, five years of hot tubs in a row.


Yeah. Vegas. Yeah. And that's that. And then, you know, write sketches that we would do. Yeah. That was nice. You guys should the writer Scott. He's a writer.


He wrote the movie. My I did. Yeah. And many more movies that are about to come out that I wrote on the workaholics.


Jeez. Yes. Like for how many years. Four years on workaholics and your sort of Adam Divines best man and yeah. I'm his best man. His best man at his wedding. I won't be his best man wedding.


Oh know it's tough. He definitely is in a troupe of three good buddies of his four with Scotty.


I would think that Scotty has his back more than they do. Wow.


I you hear that I am the person that gets invited to weddings because people just know I'm going to dance and drink and have fun. And I think that everybody like he's coming. I think there's no doubt I don't need any honor. So I don't need to be in the wedding. I don't need to be an usher. It's just like, oh, he's coming.


He is always the first person to respond to an invite saying, I'll be there.


I yeah, I that's that's not a question. He's Abitibi. It's not like, oh, he won't come unless they make him my best man. But I just think if he doesn't you should be like insulted to your core.


Yeah. I've I've already started to put some feelers out for Blake to see if he needs a movie writer or a TV writer. Yeah. Move on. Yeah.


Anyway, Scotty, that being said, the reason that Adam Devine doesn't deserve you and of course he does you're not his best man is that you are a very loyal, wonderful friend.


That's nice.


Thank you. God, he's one of those three. Who can be super busy and you're super busy, but he'll always reach out to hang out? That's true.


I remember when my mom was sick, Scotty sent her not one, not two, but three cards in the mail that were all very funny and she enjoyed them.


That's nice. And I I also said your mom stuff. I think you did.


You sent a big thing of food and it was delicious.


Was very helpful to see like it did Barbaresi, you know, she couldn't she couldn't eat at that point. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. She couldn't eat. So I'm going to lay down but we are a little late, maybe not sure if we could have gotten it to her when she could still eat. That would have been a great idea. But you were a little late. Yeah, a little late.


But you know, she. Yeah, too bad.


But the orderlies loved it. The hospice nurses couldn't get enough. Great choice. Watermelon roll from Friendly's. Very funny.


What my next mom dies. I hope you'll be more on the back.


I don't have to talk about Gretchen. Oh my God.


No, I am not. I'm talking about an imaginary mom that doesn't exist. OK, yes.


No, I'm not talking. Can't lose her now.


Oh God. I can't believe I take that part out of the pocket. What is wrong with you. Yeah.


What is wrong with you. Kurt Zino Scotty brought. But we still haven't gotten to what this podcast is about. But, uh, Scotty brought a bottle of Moet and would you do the.


I brought almost champagne to Kristen this to Kristin, this Kristen this. Thanks for doing our first episode. I mean, it's just like a reason to get to talk to my friend. I know. Right.


And to talk about weird news.


While he does that, I'm going to tell you this story about a man walking oddly found to have 21 live pigeons in his pants first and first and foremost takes place.


Oh, this is from the Los Angeles Times.


There we go. And the it is not really it is not credited to a writer, so it must just be staff. It's an Associated Press article.


There we go. This is, of course, in Baltimore. Police officer stopped a man who was walking oddly down the street with bulging pants and found that he had twenty one live homing pigeons stuffed in his clothes. Thomas Waddell, 25, was charged Tuesday with stealing thirty homing pigeons valued at 300 dollars from a neighbor, John Styron.


He was also charged with stealing forty homing pigeons worth 2400 dollars late Monday from a different guy.


He just going around stealing pigeons and putting them in his paint and putting them in his pants. I have to make two connections to this story.


One, I went to the Magic Castle once and I saw a magician on the main stage who came out and he was doing his act and everything and like his big reveal, involved birds. But during the show, you could just see pigeons poking out through his shirt.


Oh, God. And they just kept moving around.


And at first I was like, what's really good is this guy along with his body, you know what I mean? Yeah.


And then finally, like like a beak would come through, like, break just where between two buttons on his, like, dress up shirt.


And I just started feeling so bad not only for him but also for the pigeons and also for magic in general. Yeah.


And then finally he did his big reveal and like literally ten or fifteen pigeons, he kept producing them from different places, but they were all just in his clothes for like a 45 minute long show, like just picking him and walking around.


It was it made me feel bad for the cheers, by the way.


Cheers. We're going to do quick cheers. There we go.


They did it. Champagne, bananas, bananas at two thirty pm. And what you want to do is drink champagne. The bubbly is most carbonated of champagne right before you and just constantly belch at each other in a small room surrounded by nice people who wish my favorite time to have a dream.


There we go. There it is. Because you like I'm a soft drink in the afternoon and I like to go to bed early. Yep.


Parent life. Mm.


And then the other part of the connection that I have to this story is from living in Baltimore, just the weirdest city I think across the across the country.


Yes. It's we've talked about this too because I'm from Maryland and when we were in high school, we would ride our bikes through the city and get chased constantly. It's amazing our parents let us do it.


And the things people would yell at you, we're never like, give me money, I'm going to kill you or anything like that. They would say the most confusing things. And there's always math involved. Like, they'll go, Hey, man, can I talk to you for twelve minutes?


And then you're like, no. And you'll start running away. And they go, Listen, I need 45 cents. I got to go six blocks down the street. I already have three dollars and six cents.


What I need is and they start listing numbers and it's the most confusing thing.


It'll be like I think you told me once a guy was like, go take a hundred steps or so.


No, no, no. This guy. Well, that was when I got mugged in Baltimore.


But no, I remember once it was I don't know why this is a thing, but it it is always like man. It involved a guy came up to me and was like, this is here's the deal, I left my car parked three blocks away.


It is in the trunk of it is a vacuum cleaner that I'm going to sell for 25 dollars.


However, I need to, like, take a bus to the place where I can sell the things. And once I sell it, I'll have 28 dollars. And it like and it just kept ratcheting up and all involved like like an enterprising amount of capitalism have involved with like selling this vacuum cleaner.


But as a child. But it's like daughter was sitting in the car and we couldn't leave the car even though he had walked three blocks away from the place already.


And he just need and the whole point. But you're there for like ten minutes before you're like, what what is what are we doing?


Yeah, it's like some Derren Brown stuff. It's like he's doing mentalists things to you and you're like, I guess I'd rather just give this person five dollars than ever hear another number again for the rest of my life. Yeah.


But also you're saying the Magic Castle I went and saw they have for those I don't know, it's like the main member club of magicians in the world.


I don't think there's anything else like that one in L.A. Kristen is a is a is a member that's up for debate. Really. There was one drunk that were very drunk visit. Yeah.


And as we were leaving the daughter of the owners, so I guess she, the owner was like, you're a member but then you've never test, you never tested it.


Pretty sure it's not.


That was the time I swallowed a quarter to impress someone. Yeah, I did a quote unquote magic trick where I threw a quarter in my mouth and then I was like, it's gone. And then Chris was like, did you just swallow that chord? Yeah. Yeah.


And I said I said no for a long time. And then you're like, well, where did it go?


And then I was like, I swallowed the quarter and and did not win any friends did not win any friends.


It was I was trying to impress a comedian who I was not still not friends.


Say who it was. Brad Neely. Brad Neely would be so endeared. Yeah. Brad Neely who makes very funny things. I find magic like at the Magic Castle when it's really dramatic.


I cannot stop laughing. There is one guy and I, he is the best catbirds relating this back to the story.


And he comes out dressed like Morpheus and he's got leather jacket and like to sing and this music's very house and trance and like really heavy bass music. And he just produces so many birds and so many different types of birds that I was laughing nonstop.


It was like because magic I guess it's similar to art or comedy where you look ahead and you go, I want this visual to happen and I have to manufacture. I have to trick people into it. Yeah. So he was picturing himself pulling these birds out of just various places on his body.


And in his mind, he's like, yes, I can figure this out. I just need the birds. And now he's number one in the world. Is he the number one magician, a number one bird guy?


Oh, is the number one bird magician. Wow, man, I love that there's bird magicians. Like, that's a specific thing.


I imagine if there was like bird comedy and you're like the number one bird comedian only jokes about birds.


Not a bad idea. You could totally. I could totally. I write jokes right now. I have so many hours.


Jim Gaffigan kind of did that with cake. Yes.


And bacon or bacon. Yeah. Bacon was his main thing. Yeah. It was mostly pork. It it's very fine. Do you want your story? I do. This is a real story. This is according to WCG B, which is out of Florida.


OK, so stop her. Right. Yeah, it's funny because we are not even discussing bananas.


We were like, we can't just do Florida and we're discovering that other states are starting to catch up.


Like Michigan's really good, Louisiana's always wild, Mississippi is always wild. This one kind of this is a good one.


So police in Florida are investigating a gruesome discovery of jars of tongues in a crawlspace in a home.


I'm sure that is. Coulston, thank you. These are human tongues. Oh, my God. And they are owned by a guy named Ronald Bargmann.


And he is that sounds like such a guy who would have tongues in his house. Yes. So he's in Mr. Bargmann. Yes. And you're like, OK, Ronald, you're like Ron Ronnie.


So he was a researcher at University of Florida and some of the jars date back to the 1960s.


So they're looking into the tung's because for basically the last two decades, he's been bringing these tung's home as part of his research on cadavers.


Yes or yes from cadavers, we hope. But he is currently a professor at the university, but they don't know why this guy is stashing them in the crawlspace above in his home. That's why many. How many?


Look, I believe it was twenty, like powdered, trying to learn how to speak in tongues. Thank you.


She's the only one telling comic how in the world how do they find out about it? Did someone hear some licking coming from a big thank you? It's just a taste of the comedy. One, two, three. OK. I love having fun with my buddy so far.


I don't know, but it's trying to look and see what it is.


But this guy is like a really I think he's just stashing them. I think that you just collect them and probably doesn't want to creep out people that come over to his house. But it is very strange.


Yeah. I mean, he might just take them all down when he's alone and kind of like put them around him and just be like, you know, now I got a bunch of tongues.


Is he in trouble? That's a great question. Is it illegal to take a tongue from a cadaver, not his personal property. Right. I think it's like take him from the university.


When I got my teeth knocked out, I wanted to keep my teeth.


Tell us about that story. How'd you get them knocked out, Kristen?


I like wine and I like I went up to wine country and to be safe, rented a bike and then I fell off it and right onto your face.


Put your hands out of it and put your hands out.


But I. I broke the fall with my face and when I opened my eyes, it pulled blood. Three teeth does matter. But I want to keep those feet. Sure. Yeah. And the dentist, that eye clinic. Because it's like basically like a cadaver part of this, like it belongs to the state.


The wait whoa, whoa. I did. Your teeth immediately belong to the state once they hit the pavement. I don't know.


That doesn't seem I think like this sounds like this guy wanted to keep your fucking teeth in a jar above his bed in a crawl space.


Yeah, that's weird.


I don't think that that's true at all, that it becomes part of the state. I don't know.


That is really this dude's got your teeth somewhere. Yeah.


The guy guys also at this point. You think so? Maybe we need to. Oh, you know what? We should debate Kristen. Sharp teeth. Well, here's the thing, because you could grind up the teeth and use them as bone density for other injuries.


That's nice. Oh, yeah.


I'm going back to Tugg, so back to town.


But I remember when you had that and then you got three four before you got like your your permanence and you had just this thing where you could just remove all three of your front teeth.


The best thing is it was so funny.


It was fun. And I and I was about to shoot and I shot two, three, two or three episode, The Last Man on Earth before I got my permanent teeth.


So I was working with that and I, I showed Will and I was like, I think we should put this.


Yeah. Before you have to get your real teeth in and fill make love.


She's like when one more thing and she pops out and that that's what his life is.


But he didn't make it. Yeah I didn't see that.


So I didn't see it either. It was funny because you at first when you showed me that I was like, Kristen looks like white trash, which I never thought. And then I was hanging out for another half hour. I was like, no, she looks like a four year old.


It looked like a kid without passed.


It was so fun to watch you drinking at that time. I was like, look at this toddler getting drunk.


If that's the thing, it gives you instant youth. Yeah. So if I feel myself getting old, I'm going to get these implants out.


Yeah. Yeah. Just get them removed. They can unscrew them, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what Ed Helms did for The Hangover. Oh really.


There's a one of the movies he's missing a tooth. Yes. His his implant.


Oh really. Yeah. That's like legit. I always thought that that was, you know, an effect now.


Oh wow.


So for all you TV or movie aspiring actors, producers, I'm, I can take out my teeth. You need me to select one more.


If you want a real weird look, I can give it to you pretty cheap.


Hmm. Glad to get there early to make up Jerry. Thank you.


Kristen, do you want another story? Yes, please. All right.


Well, I'll be going back to the to the Tandi. Yeah. So is he under arrest or like.


I think he was under arrest. Yeah.


So there is an investigation into why he has these tongs, but they don't know yet. They don't know. And when they find out, I mean, I thought you were going to launch into a different crawl space story when I saw this one.


Know about the pie. Yeah, I thought for sure.


But I mean, should I tell the story? Do you want me to tell the story? I'm not the first one.


I think you kind of bring out the hits so people want to listen to the saku.


All right. So I discovered masturbation. Yes. When I was 12 years old, of course, late.


Is it late? I was whacking off.


At least you are the most creative masturbator I ever heard of in my entire life. You would tell me about our long jerk off trips that you would go on in your bedroom. I was always fascinated as you really go.


There was a great imagination. You a famously, I know, axing its will.


And if you have a vibrator, it's just like there's not a. Out of work involved, yeah, it's just there to get a vibrator. Know we do cool. Well, yeah, 12 years old. And also I read that.


What, you have a question? I don't have one.


I'm listening to your story. I'm surprised that you started masturbating earlier than 12, especially Colorado on a farm.


I think girls discover their bodies earlier.


You think so? I know so. Oh, yes. Thank you.


You know, so that's another story. That's another story.


Anyway, I discovered it's a long story and I'll shorten it as much as I can.


I discover masturbation. All right. At age 12, while eating McDonald's apple pie and taking a shit and that what that is part of the story.


You asked for this story and now you're going to shame body shame, not body shame.


It's it's eating shame.


Well, that was a classy move on my part. I had to take a shit. But you did WAPT Pollock.


I polished off some sweet ads and then retired to the commode with just a hot, steaming hot apple pie.


Why wouldn't you just take a minute to take your poop and then enjoy your pie without the poop fumes coming up, mixing with that with the cherry?


Oh, no, I was 12. I was in a rush. Yeah. Yeah. Well, are you in a rush for. I don't know.


But I mean, maybe television was starting soon, OK, you know, so anyway, and also I was like twelve.


I didn't know, I knew like what sex. I knew that sex was a thing but I didn't know what it was. You know, I'd recently just found my uncle's playboys and cut just the breasts out of every photograph. Yeah. Normal and then taped them to my wall underneath the poster. That was a photograph of myself at age five that said wanted dead or alive.


And then I would charge children the neighborhood a quarter to stare at this sea of disembodied breasts, realizing early on the breasts without women are very disturbing.


Yeah, about quarter a quarter. Yeah. You wanted to make some money.


Yeah. I mean, like it was kid time, you know. So I was like, what are these twelve years old at twelve year olds have access to.


I guess it's a quarter and so then. Yeah. So I was taking a shit is eating this pie.


I mean that's like people take a shit now and look at their iPhones. Yeah but you ate pie.


I was eating pies and it was just like a sleeve of pie, you know, similar shape is similar shape and, you know, embarrassing enough.


But I guess the whole I get it out, put it in.


I was it was essentially making my body like a reverse human straw, really.


And then I got a boner, as you want to do when you're well and eating and shitting boner while you're taking a poop.


I guess so. When I was twelve, because, like, boners just, you know, they show up unexpected when you're twelve. Yeah. Just like we haven't sex yet.


No, I'm still sticking around, you know.


And so then I was like the eureka moment where I just flipped that pie upside down and stuck my dick in it. And it was a bit too hot at first. I did burn the tip of my penis a little bit, but it felt too good. I kept going. And here's where it gets weird. Kristen for them is weird for me.


Oh, really normal. Oh, OK. One hundred percent for the next six months. I thought this was the only way you could masturbate. So I became obsessed with going to McDonald's. I would always be like, no, mom, we have got to go to McDonald's to day.


And then I would run upstairs, jerk off into these pies and then throw their corpses into the eaves of my attic where I'm sure they're still there to this day because that was filled with preservatives.


I mean, so many. And we sold that house like twenty years ago. Yeah. So that family has a real weird raccoon problem now.


Raccoon Kirt Spray. And on that story, let's take a break.


Yeah. Let's take a break. For what? For ads or just music.


Oh, you guys think you're going to get ads at. You just got a relative who knows. Oh. You never heard from all the way around the world. Oh, but. Auerback Christiani won her story. Oh, absolutely, I love stories Duqu. This is from The New York Post. This is Duqu has traumatized Duqu has traumatized penis removed after nonstop sex.


OK, and I mean, this is a UK based duck who was forced to have his penis surgically removed after it became infected due to his insatiable sex drive. The Ducks name is Dave.


I'm sure Dave's owner, Josh Watson of Tor Kate Torkild.


Devon, what's dorky talk? I don't know, man.


I don't know its place in the UK when you talk, talk, talk. He said his nymphomaniac pet would mate with his female companion story, Edith and Fredd, between five and 10 times a day, even when it wasn't mating season.


And it got to the point where his threesome partners would wander off during sex and even peck at his pecker to ward off unwanted advances.


Guy Ultimately, the horny dray comes up archaic. Don't keep him alive.


And oh no, he's still alive. He just got it weird. That's the weirdest part, is that they just decided to cut this duck's dick off instead of just killing the duck. Yeah, that's torture.


And also they're like ducks. Dicks are weird. They're like that corkscrew shape. Yeah, I remember.


I do remember from my time watching ducks, but yeah. Look who wants wine, you know, let's get into it.


But I mean, I mean it's fine also. I mean I think that they said like all duck, all duck sex is like incredibly inherently violent as well because of the corkscrew shape of the penis. So maybe cut all the duck sticks off.


I don't know. Oh well he said it. Not me, Peter. Yeah. I said give him a second one. I'm Prozac's for pro everything.


That's my I had a boss, I had a duck as a pet. He had a dog and a duck. And at the Christmas party, a duck like in an apartment well knows a house. And he had like a backyard and they had like a little koi pond. And I lived in Maryland. I was over there and I was like, oh, he is a duck majority is like, yeah, we found the egg and we we incubated it and this duck hatched.


We thought it was a swan or something and it was like a mallet.


So I mean like, wait, what job is this? Because he's your boss. What job? He owned a chain of bike shops called Bike Doctor. There are probably like seven or more in. And he was the main dude. He was the original founder. And then he franchised them out.


And so I was sixteen and I was excited to party and I was all adults. And there was a saw, a duck and a dog that were like best friends in the backyard. And I thought this was great. And then I gather like friends, I hang out and then I went back there for a spring party and I'm like, Where's the duck? And they're like, Oh, the dog killed the duck and ate it. And I was like, yeah, this was coming.


Like, we should have seen this coming. It was a problem. But great spring. I love that guy.


I love like just imagine finding an egg and then going to I'm going to keep this egg warm just to find out what's inside of it.


Yeah. Like it's fun. He could have just been heating up at an egg that you could eat. It could have been a dinosaur in there.


I think there's a mail order company in this. I think we should start mailing just order a random egg. You don't know what a ten dollars and then he sends you a little blanket, a little red light, little. Right. And you just incubate it and then you have to raise whatever comes out.


Rattlesnake people love people love surprises of lambing barrels. Yeah. Christine, nice person would have done it.


You would have done that if you're twelve.


If you could just order an egg and raise a hundred percent anyway we would chicks would we watch chicks be born under a warm light for like a science experiment in school.


Maybe put it puts kinder surprise to shame. This is a real surprise is a real egg surprise. I'm going to look into it.


Remember when we used to when we started Hattab, we had animal races every every every show we would race a different animal.


Do you remember the animals that we got, Krod Craft? Yeah, the crawdads. We had sand worms. Yeah, they were insects.


Cockroaches I think we had oh we had hermit crabs. Hermit crabs. They were all exoskeletons.




I don't think we got any real well mammal now but then I think the, the sand worms escaped and I think they still live in the theater.


There isn't even a theater. Oh I don't know. Go back to the garment district. They might be. Who knows. We all know. Yeah.


It's got to give us a story Scott. Okay. This one is kind of dark, but kind of amazing. These haven't been dark, you know. Yeah, we're taking a turn.


Oh, yeah. The tongue thing was not dark and the tongue thing was joyous. OK, so this is from the South China Morning Post. Virtual reality reunites mother with that daughter, bringing tears, but also helping her let go of a child she missed so dearly slowed down.


It's what so in South Korea episode. Yes, it's like Black Mirror. And I watched the video.


It's on YouTube. You can watch to watch this woman interact with her dead daughter. Who died when she was seven years old? Correct. So what does the company do? How does the company do it? Well. Is it like when they bought Tupac back one? Are those hologram? Hologram? Yeah. Her daughter was Tupac. That's the twitch. So she had the craziest reunion ever. She got around. So this South Korea documentary company made a documentary called Meeting You.


And it was like it's experimental. It's like the first time they're doing this and they think it's going to be this huge revolutionary thing where people can talk to people that are not only like overseas or far away, but also to dead relatives. And they do it by doing they take actual photographs and turn it in. They basically generate her and use audio recordings. And so it sounds and looks like your child or your parent or whoever passes away when they generate them on a computer.


Yes. And so the video they do it with they do it with Clay, the Claymation. It takes such a long time to have a conversation. The hug I watched was for days, but so this daughter, who is seven years old, passed away from an incurable disease.


So it just said incurable disease. So, you know, incurable disease.


Yeah. You know, incurable disease.


And they like it's the videos, the videos.


Crazy. And so you can talk and it interacts with you. It has like an element to and it's just like it. She loved it.


But the conversation was like the mother's like, I miss you and the daughter's like, I miss you too. And it's like, where have you been, Mommy? Do you think about me? It's like I do all the time. And this woman who's wearing a VR headset is standing in a green screen room and the daughter comes out from behind, like in Iraq, and she just talks to it the entire.


It's crazy.


They had a virtual birthday cake for tenth birthday. Oh, my gosh. So this is obviously very troubling and disturbing. But also it's happening. And it's been so like now this is going to become an option. It's very blackmar.


Well, what did the did they get a chance to interview the mother? Like, what's her reaction to it all? Did she feel closure?


Did she feel good? She felt good. She said it was a real paradise that was her quote, and that it was like three years later I felt sick. But now I can confidently feel like basically it was like closure.


I honestly I can see this going down the route of in Minority Report, Tom Cruise, where he gets high off his little whatever they are, like a little inhalers and then just watches old videos like holographic videos of his son.


You could like get like because I think about it all the time of like how I'd feel if one of my children died and it would be like you would just like go down to a universe of just living there.


I would just want to live there.


It would be like, you know, you could totally just lose, like, never leave that VR area.


It's so upsetting.


It was I brought it up because I know you like sci fi so much and that story, but it's pretty wild also as I gets better, like right now, we we just we had hired a data scientist to write an algorithm for us that will write jokes. Yeah.


We're doing trying to create the first A.I. comedian called Joe Catron. And I take them out on stage and we do jokes together, obviously.


But the so I've been like looking a lot into A.I. and like where they are with like predictive text and stuff like that is pretty crazy.


Like you could have a facsimile of someone relatively easy just with the tech that exists now.


Yeah, it's it's a problem. I would say this is a problem. Is it a problem?


I mean, like, I think it's just going to be something that happens. Yeah. To reality. That's the other thing. I did like the Oculus thing and I did like they did a demo for like creators and writers. And I was like, which one do you want to do? And I was like, I'll do the hot air balloon in Bali. And then I'm looking 360 degrees. I'm in a hot air balloon. You can see the other people there.


You can't see where the camera is. And then I did like a train ride on the Darjeeling Limited or whatever it's called. And I was like, oh, no, I don't need to go and do that because it was crazy, like walking around and being like, oh, I'm on this train.


It felt so real that I canceled my flight.


Yeah, no, I've done VR too once and it is pretty incredible, but not necessarily as addictive as I thought. And and I think that's what they're discovering too. Like there is something about like it's OK to go away a little bit through a movie or even 3D, not as big as it was anymore.


I know video games, you have more control and that is VR.


But I don't know. I feel like that story is interesting.


But also, you know, that costs money. Sure. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That that's like a that's going to be a situation for rich, richer people.


Yes. And I think there's going to be other people are going to choose the option of just trusting their own memories.


Yeah. And moving forward because I think it be too painful for something to happen.


I sounds going insane. Yeah, I know it sounds incredibly painful and it sounds like like living in the past and it just freaks me out being with the person.


Like I don't think that really honors what the person that you are. It's not what the president. Necessarily do so, that's not the person. I also just it just brings up so many things of like the things that we are going to have to deal with with our children, like when they're 17 or 16, and the fact that they're interacting with this stuff, like issues that we can't even imagine right now. And this would this is like a problem that I wouldn't have been able to imagine that someone just like gets trapped in a VR reality because of an emotional attachment to an A.I. essentially.


You know, it's going to now it's going to be a real problem.


Have you guys gone to a Fort Dix theater yet and gotten sprayed in the face with water? No. Oh, you got of you. Oh, my gosh. That downtown Regal Cinema, I went and saw the Megg incredible experience. Oh, my God.


You sit in seats that move left and right up and down their fans. When helicopters take off, you get blown in the face now and then on the armrest, they have a button that says water on or water off and the water on. Whenever the shark jumps out or somebody dives in the water, it sprays you in the face with water.


So weird when they do a tracking shot over a beach, it smell they pump in the smell of Coppertone.


No, you got to go.


And then when people get in a fistfight or being chomped alive by a giant Megalodon, it shakes, shapes you, punches you in the back.


It has little like punching things. So at its best, you're on a boat.


You're getting wind and water sprayed at you. Jason Statham gets in a fight, you're getting punched in the back and then the big jumps out of the water. I cannot recommend enough. I went and saw bad boys for life in it.


I'm going to go see my spy with it. I only go see the creme de la creme as I have.


It's twenty bucks or twenty five bucks and it is so fun.


My friend Mike Lovato's took. He didn't know what it was and he went in with his wife and they had a pint of beer and a glass of red wine and we started and just threw their alcohol in the air and soaked.


It is the dumbest, most fun way to you have to go next.


I'll move together. Let's go. It'll be a couple.


But also think about the new job that that created where there's a guy who's like, OK, this splash is like a five percent splash and then like a just like how much splash you get for the visual image right now.


This way it's going to be lower kidney punch and then shake, shake and then one more lower kidney.


That's right. Leg has to do that for an entire move.


We're going to blow him. We're going to squirt up. We're going to punch him in the guts. And they're like, this sounds pretty good. Yeah. I mean, that should be the selling of it. Like Disneyland meets the movie.


Yeah. It's like that Muppet 3D thing that used to be at MGM, but it just any movie and it does feel a little rushed. Kurt's point. It feels like the guy that did it was like the senior intern, not the new intern.


And it's just they just take you through hell.


Twenty five dollars Regal Cinema downtown. Let's go.


You got one more for me? I got one more. Kristen, you want one more?


I love this is right. I love this. This is right up your alley. Mississippi community left. And this is from Fox News. Oh, and this is by Kathleen Jois. Mississippi community left confused after bowls of mashed potatoes mysteriously keep appearing.


Oh, my favorite story. I love mashed potatoes. You know me. I know you love mashed potatoes and I think you love mysterious mashed potatoes. I did know. I did tell. Now, this is my favorite one so far.


So literally, they've just been finding bowls. This town this whole town has been finding bowls of mashed potato like on their car. Like to come out in the morning. I walked outside yesterday morning, seven a.m., got my car. That's when nose wipe all on my windshield.


There's another one that was just inside a inside someone's mailbox.


Just a thing of mashed potatoes inside a mailbox. Yeah. Just real quick, when you say this that they have they've been eaten. Are they untouched?


Are they presented with gravy? It was it was not immediately clear if anyone has eaten the potatoes. So, no, the potatoes are not eaten. It's a it's a fresh bowl of mashed potatoes.


I could see someone just like that with these mashed potatoes, and it's leaving them all all over town constantly walking around with a bowl of mashed potatoes and finishing them and leaving the bowl to please.


Yeah. Like, let's not condescend. Oh, so I. No, no, of course.


I mean, that just means that you've definitely walked around with a bowl of mashed potatoes, finished them and just but got rid of a bowl of Mississippi free spirit.


OK, so I love this one.


How did the whole story it says, let's see hundreds. I mean, that would be amazing. No, I bet you it's probably around a dozen or so too. Yeah.


Too. It's either like those things are either mental illness or somebody is doing something where they are. They're doing something that we don't know the story and they're just doing this for a reason. Or in Mississippi, there are performance artists that are way ahead of what we're doing. Yep, yep. And they're like conceptually doing things that we love.


And then at its best, they never reveal themself. The stops at some point, maybe in ten years they start up again for a moment.


I mean, they love cereal, mashed potatoes.


I love and. I mean, it's so much better than a serial shitter. Do you know what I mean? Somebody is like shitting on people's car. That happens a lot to happen so much. There was one in Denver. You remember that that one really took off that woman who would always she jogged and shat on people's lawns and then went away jogging the other day after drinking all day.


Oh, yeah, there was I like remember like Rob Delaney telling a story of how he pulled over and took a shit on a jog.


And I was like, yeah, I need to take it hit. Did you. Did you. Of course not. Because I'm a lady. Oh, I've done it. I've done it. Oh, have you.


Yeah. In the woods. I was in New Jersey, in the woods in New Jersey. I ran into the woods and I leaned up against a tree and I took a shit and I had I had paper towels in my pockets.


A normal thing to jog with.


I'm always jogging with paper towels, my pocket. Why did your paper towel?


I always have paper towels in my pocket at all times because it just to blow my nose, you know, it's like a terrible version of a handkerchief.


Oh I see. Yeah. It's hard, it's gross.


It's just it hurts like hell. Yeah you do.


They're like I need to get Claritin pronto.


I should have just got I should just have a handkerchief. But no I don't. I have always sort of that kind of guy. I can't believe you don't have a handkerchief.


Oh no thank you. Like I've seen you at the hankers. I used to have a handkerchief.


Yeah, but they do get gross as well. You know, you have to wash your handkerchiefs. You have to have a lot of handkerchiefs of your handkerchief. Guys, of course, you have to have your chief in it up New York stuff for laundry too.


That's a tough place to do laundry. So I can understand why you banned it. They're out here when you have in your house.


You're good to go. You're right. I should get a bunch of very nice handkerchiefs with your mom and grandpa.


I get it.


OK, that's actually was on weekend. That's that'd be great. Mirch, I would love bananas handkerchiefs. Yeah.


Do you say I got that. Yeah. He loves me. Not really. He loves my dad. Yeah. Yeah.


But I give my mirch away. I don't you know, I'm not, I'm not in it for the money guys.


I'm in it for the experience. Do people know about your Mudflap thing Marillyn. Probably the 30 to 50 people that really enjoy this podcast are very well aware that I give out a lot of beer cozies and some, you know, scarves and t shirts and everything and some swimsuits. Yeah, those are those are for sale because I give that money to Planned Parenthood, so. Yeah, very cool.


Yeah. Do you got one more story for me? Follow Marilyn Mudflap on Twitter.


Yeah, on Twitter. Get some of the tweets. Oh Braunohler. And follow Keisha.


No, this one I think is relatable. This one's not as dark as my last. Talking to your dead daughter one. OK, OK. According to CNN, an Uber driver in Virginia has been charged with two counts of abduction, reckless driving, felony hit and run and kidnapping. Oh, wow.


Which I guess is probably also the abduction. So I won't name this gentleman's name because I don't know if he's guilty or not. But Jawn Murray and his wife. I'm just kidding.


A husband, wife, couple.


We're on a rare date night. They after dinner, they use Tina Fey, they Origo great movie. They use Uber like we all do to get home. They thought it was the end of a routine night. They get in this car and a few bucks blocks later, they were rear ended by another driver. Their driver stopped and the car takes off. So they're Uber driver starts chasing them.


This live streamed on Facebook. The initial accident happened. The husband that was on the date starts filming. And in the video, it's all very calm and they're just like, oh, my gosh. Like, what do we need to do? The wife calls 911 one and then all of a sudden their driver just takes off, lock the doors and takes off and starts speeding after the hit and run.


So over the next four and a half minutes, they have live streaming on Facebook, the video of their driver where they're yelling, stop, pull over, don't like, let us out, let us out.


And then he finally goes, the father and mother go. We have four kids. We can't be driving like this. Totally gets ignored. This guy's like, I cannot let him get away with this.


So the Uber driver takes him on this crazy chase halfway through this chase while they're like, pull over, pull over, pull over. And the wife is on with nine one one and the operator is going, pull over, sir, do not chase this person. Do not just this person.


They get hit by another. No.


So after they hit, you hear the impact, you see the video that everybody is relatively OK. They all got bruises, but nobody got seriously hurt. The Uber driver takes off again and starts chasing the initial driver even after the second accident.


So then he's now he's a runaway. Now he's leaving the scene of an yeah, well, yeah, twice, essentially. And so if you all the first time he did still the scene you should have say.


Yeah, yeah.


But yeah, they could hear the impact in the video they're screaming the nine one one operators like yelling let them out like let them out of the car and eventually the driver they're yelling I'm so much he pulls over and they get out but it always live streamed on Facebook.


Oh wow. I want to see that video. Have you ever been. Have you ever been in an accident in Uber taxi? No, no. I feel like comedians have a lot of these stories now. Like I feel like comedians on the road are taking lots of Uber and Lyft. Now, like those stories, I'm starting to see more and more.


Well, you started telling me that story. I thought you were just doing the premise for Kumail Nanjiani and Etha Ray's new movie.


It's it is. It is viral marketing for that. It is lovebirds. Yeah, I've I got seven hundred dollars to read that story.


Oh my God. I've already spent it. That's the problem. Already spent. I was at Boston Market yesterday and you know, I like Boston Market. I wonder how much food you get a bus of seven hundred dollars.


That's probably like a good to test for our listeners to take a photo or put it on the website.


My guys you guys are the new kilgariff and hard star. Not even even like the smallest like an eyelash or an eyelash.


Have you been in an accident in an Uber? No, I have never been in an accident. Remember the.


Yeah, the only the last horrible thing that happened to me in a life was someone tried to play me their music, you know, and I was like, oh, yeah, I'm a musician.


And I was just like, oh, man, I can't say I don't care. Yeah, but I seriously don't. And I just tried to be in my phone and then it was like, I'll play some music. And I was like, this is torture.


I had one recently, like really recently. And it was an older gentleman. He picks me up and from the minute I get in and I'm like, Hey, sir, I'm Scotty, how are you? He's like, fine. And then he just starts complaining about everything he has political radio on. But like somebody says something on the radio, like, fuck you. And then he goes and then it's like a left hand turn is like, fuck fucking turns every 15 seconds.


Excuse me.


He's like this street, these double parkers, these pedestrians.


I'm talking every 15 seconds. I was like, this guy is the least happy, angriest man I've ever been in his car.


So then we're kind of cutting through the city and like, you know, somebody he like waves somebody across the street. He's like, go, go, go screaming.


Then we get to this point and there's a little dog, like a little Jack Russell and its owner.


And the dog is just jumping up to like and he goes, Oh, Doggy Dogg rolls down the window, waves at the dog. He goes, Hi, hi, hi. And then the light turns green. He drives and is insane like these fuckers.


So this guy's life is just pure hell.


It's like truly hell on earth. And then when he sees a jumping dog, he's just like, oh, my God, oh my God.


And it was the five stars, obviously, that star dude to tip. I gave everybody a five star. Have you ever not given somebody a five star on Uber? Never. Never. I'm five star. Five star all the way. Can be a terrible ride. I'm like five stars. Yeah, I'm a lift.


I'm a lift. Boy, I don't really Uber. I'm a Lyft guy. Oh. Are there no stars on left. There are five stars and lift. I'm for something on Uber and I feel like Uber drivers were former like black car drivers that hate you the moment you walk out of your house.


I just like it because there's less conversation on a new bike. Oh that's interesting. Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah.


I don't know. I just don't want to talk and I feel like Uber drivers talk less. I don't know. It's probably not true. I don't know.


Yeah. I was going up to maybe your old house in Burbank.


That right when we moved all moved out here and the guy picks me up and he had hands on tending to and he looked like that guy that oh gosh, it doesn't matter.


But he was like an older kind of nerdier dude. And he goes, Sir, I will get you to your destination safely. But I drive the exact speed limit and I go, that's fine. I don't care.


Then he cranks up like the song Blue Moon, like the fifties sort of early version, and when the road was twenty five miles an hour, he would make it at 25, a 35 at 35 would get on the highway like get on the five, whatever that is, 55 or 65.


He would get it up to that level and then exactly there he would break. If he went above it he would speed up if he did it and he drove the exact speed limit the entire way.


That is literally what it's going to be like when cars drive themselves. You essentially were in a driverless drive.


He was.


Yeah, I gosh, I got to think of the guy I'm thinking of, but please proceed. But it was wild man. Kristen, five stars, by the way. Five stars, of course. Yeah.


Kristen, do you have anything that you would like to plug before we before we wrap everything up? Oh, of course. Please. I hope that everybody votes blue and also watches Bob's Burgers.


And I mean, if you want to read my spy DVD or FDX. Yeah, you can't go.


It's fun for the family. Also may be. Oh, Bill and Ted.


Oh yeah. That's great. In August 21st, I'll be fine. The Hot Tub Show every month.


Every Monday night. Every Monday night. This Monday night. Still try to come the other Monday's 15th anniversary shows like a heavy bill and yeah that.


Yeah, guys, we have the Bananas podcast Instagram account. And you do. Scotty has been filling it out for months, maybe for a full year. So it is chock with content.


You can find some of the stories we talked about today. It's I go to Instagram and it's called the Bananas podcast. I'll be in Bloomington, Indiana, June 18, 19 or 20 and June, because this doesn't come out till April, late April five.


You're just you're just remarking on the month of June. It takes her back to last summer anyway.


Scott, anything coming up? Nope. Just thanks, Karen in Georgia and exactly right. We're glad to be here now.


Oh, why are we thinking, Karen in Georgia, this is there. We're under their umbrella.


Oh, really? Yeah. I think this is their studio. This is their studio. We're in the studio of death. This is the studio that murder bill.


Oh, my God. What have their own.


They reached out and said it's called exactly right. And they go, Scottie, you and Kurt specifically just you to have something so unique.


Oh, you don't need a third. No women involved, you two.


And we and we said we couldn't agree more.


Yeah. And we're so glad to have you as a first guest, Elle and Kristen.


You want it. You want to come back first.


I'll cut all that stuff in the middle and where Kristen didn't know where she was.


Your favorite murder. That's all the stuff on the walls. Is Steven famously murder? And I was like, what the hell?


And I thought, George, as I like murder and George Steven is literally the producer of all those episodes, gradually we were never blindfolding a guest again.


We're going to prep our guest. I didn't know I was.


I know this isn't some rinky dink. This isn't in the back of a U-Haul truck. This is the big time. This is the process.


Everyone has a chance. I just figured that we'd just have to have one.


Yeah, great. You could come back whenever you want to, Kristen.


OK, you may be Kabeer.


Just reach out because I don't want to step. But if this is another excuse to hang out with my friends like hot tub, let's do it. Cheers. Cheers.


Cheers to the first episode of Bananas Bananas. This has been an exactly right production produced and engineered by Katie Lévy theme song by Kay Honeyman and all of our artwork is done by Travis Miller. So please follow us on Instagram at the Bananas podcast, where we post so many more stories and make it here. And you can share with us your strange news story by Demming us on Instagram at the Bananas podcast.


So listen, subscribe and please leave us a review on Apple podcast, Stitcher or wherever you get your podcasts.


Bananas, bananas.