On today's part of my take, we have the playmaker, Michael Irvin, on the show, we talk about his career, we talk about the current state of the Cowboys, the dumpster fire that is the Cowboys, the current state of the you awesome interview coming up with Michael Irvin.

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Right. How he was treated with violence. I'm not. Look, I'm going to get a drink and I'm going to give you its pardon, my presented by your bar stool sports.

Welcome to part of my take. Is anybody the cash go down a little right now? Use kofar so you get ten dollars free. Ten dollars to the ASPCA.

Today is Wednesday, October 28th, and the Chicago Bears fucking suck.

Are we saying that the Bears are who we thought they were? Yes, the bears are who we thought they were.

I think they have no offense for the I went back and I looked in the last 20 years or so, in the last 20 years, the Chicago Bears have finished worse than like 50 percent. So half the league they've finished in the back half of the league in offense, 15 out of 20 of those years. They are it is the most bears thing ever to just have an unbelievable defense and an offensive can't do diddly poo. And that's what we saw on Monday Night Football.

It was an ass kicking. I totally fucking ass kicking.

I totally believe in just like Team Aura's right. Teams will have Aura's DNA go bears. Yes. Have DNA. It doesn't matter who's coaching the team. It doesn't matter the actual physical people that are inside that building. If you just live in the city of Chicago and play football, you suck at playing quarterback and you have an awesome you can't move the ball down the field.

This is why this is why I've always said when everyone's like, well, we could have patchworks. Patrick Mahomes would have got hit by a bus if he had been in Chicago like there is. There's just it's never going to be in the cards for the Bears to be able to move the football in any type like the NFL has come.

Thank you for watching. Patrick Mahomes is like, by the way. Yes, Ryan deserves that. He should be out the door, but he should should get credit for that. The NFL has completely changed. It is an offensive league. You see the ball going up and down the field like passing left and right. Points, points, points over unders are fifty fifty to like shit that you wouldn't believe twenty years ago. And the bears are still the exact same bears were.

It's a struggle to score like a touchdown. Oh touchdown.

So I can't do I think you guys need to lean into your identity like you need to absolutely own the fact that you will never be good at passing the football.

You got to go single wing. You got essentially run. Can't run any defense. No offense, but you. Is that any different than it has been in the past. Like, yeah, you're right. Sometimes you can run, occasionally you'll be able to run. OK, but not like let's not go out here and try to have Nick Foles throw the ball thirty five times a game. He obviously can't do that. And then I think that the the whole, like, blow up between him and Matt Nagy, they got like Brian Green, you put it out there on my football, snitched on them a little bit.

I think that probably got overblown a little bit.

I don't know. So I don't know, Jim. It was when when the bears suck on prime time, which they pretty much always do, the the bears are who we thought they were is like that.

When and when Corey Wooten ended his career. Those are pretty much the only good experiences, maybe a couple of, you know, Cutler and Marshall in San Francisco. But the bears on primetime will almost always embarrass anyone who roots for them. And so that moment where Brian Greeces like get Nick Foles doesn't even know, like the play calls don't make sense. He they get called in and he knows they're not going to work. So if you actually watch it, you can see Matt Nagy throwing in the play call and you can see Mitch's face.

And he actually he's like to the play call. So it's almost serendipitous. Then it all worked out exactly at that moment. Mr. Brewskis, listening to the play call in his ear and being like, whoa, that's not going to work, because guess what? It was it was probably another fourth down where they're like, hey, let's run a jet sweep to Cordarrelle Patterson and see if it works this time. Right. It's like a block. Anything like a waiter in Kansas City offering somebody, guess what, we've got a really nice salmon tonight.

And the initial reaction is like, you know what? No, I'm going I'm going to stick with a steak on that one.

Yeah, it was I feel like what was actually said probably got like it was a combination of the timing of when it was broadcast on TV and also the like. Translation to Brian Greasy. But the bottom line is like Nick Foles doesn't feel like he has a second to do anything. No better pass.

I've said this before, like Matt Nagy, I do not trust him as a play caller. I think he's a bad play caller. But, you know, play caller will look good with that offensive line. So there's at least a little bit of like you could throw Andy Reid out there, you could go Chip Kelly in is like no one is going to look good with an offensive line that bad. He just makes it worse. You guys should just.

Prayed for Johnny Hekker, have him be the quarterback shot, he played high school quarterback. People don't talk about it a lot and he's also just a beast of a. If you if you were to throw the ball one on first down only and then punt every time it reached a second round with Johnny Hekker, your offense would actually be better than it has been.

Yeah, no one weeks I would rather watch the defense and the offense, which is the ultimate Chicago Bears watermelon.

With all that said. And I think the listen, I'm not I'm still not going to apologize for in to people getting confused. I never have. I said that the bears were like like an incredible team. I said, I'm running the luck train like the bears are. They have one very lucky game this year. They're not a very good team. But sometimes in the NFL, you'll just get the lucky bounce and just ride it. So I'm not going to apologize for five and two.

And I think they might even beat the Saints on Sunday. They're not good, but they could get lucky and get in the playoffs that way.

I'm I'm experiencing, I guess, Zach Galifianakis at the casino blackjack table type moment right now because we've established that the bears are who we thought they were. Correct. But also you are what your record says you are correct. So you're five and two, but you're also who we thought you were, which is not five into this is Schrodinger's bears. Are they alive or are they dead? They're you know what they are? They're a little bit better than average.

So average being eight, Nate? No, they're actually an eight and a team that just gets because it really does come down to the NFL. Eight and eight team can be ten and six or six and ten based on a couple lucky bounces. And that is exactly what the bears are. They're an eight and eight team that had a couple lucky bounces to start the season. Yes. And if the couple lucky bounces continue, they could finish ten.

And you need to be luckier than the average Bears team, right. And get like those extra two wins last year. They didn't have the luck. They obviously fell off a cliff, you know what I mean?

Like, that's that's kind of that's kind of going back to the first point that that's Chicago Bears football is like the good seasons are really just kind of lucky season.

We should also give a little bit of credit to the Rams. I guess they're good. No, they're good there. I agree with your take that they're playing too fast. That's Mickey Mouse football and man on Sean McVay gets in his huddles and then he has his players, like, shift around like it's a game of three card monte out a carnival just to confuse defense. We used to say back in high school, that's what happens when the other team knows they can't beat you.

Right. They have to resort to the Mickey Mouse stuff.

They're just running tempo like man play man football. Huddle up. Just run the ball. Run the ball on the middle.

Stop your excuse. If you tell us that straight up, you're going to run a fullback, dive maybe a half back, toss every third down. When you're getting a little feisty, you let the defense know that you can still beat them. Then that's a man's football team. Yes. That's a team that you're proud to root for. Yeah. Rinky dink Mickey Mouse Disneyland offense where you try to score more points than the other team like a fucking coward.

Cowards. Exactly.

No, the Rams are good. The NFC West is just incredible. Like top to bottom. All those teams are good or better than good. And yeah. So that's kind of it. I don't really have anything else besides they are who we thought they were. And I do think they're going to beat the Saints on Sunday.

I woke up this morning. I was so mad I had a headache watching the bears. Like that's that's when, you know, your team is sucks and also you just care a little bit too much. I was physically getting ill watching their offense, sitting on the couch a Monday night.

And then I woke up this morning and I was like, plus four against the Saints at home. Drew Brees outside, kind of like this spot.

What makes the Bears a little bit more frustrating than most teams when you're rooting for him? Because I did bet on him last night and there were times in the second half like, don't get me wrong, they stunk. If you had bet on the Cowboys last Monday night, it was just like depressing the entire time. If you had bet on the bears, there were like three or four times where you kind of open your eyes will be like they just got a lucky break.

Yeah, maybe. And then Nick Foles throws like a 30 yard interception or misses a wide open guy, wide open guy throws interception in the end zone. There were like three or four times where I was starting to think like maybe maybe this could happen with a little bit of less shades of that.

Arizona Cardinals, we are going to keep you believing in its bullshit. It's bullshit. I wasted sleep because of the bears in that fucking terrible offense. So let's talk something makes you feel a little bit better. The Cowboys. So the Cowboys were also in the news because Mike Nolan, as bad as the Cowboys have been, they get they're getting now to circus level. Mike Nolan had to zoom with reporters and it got interrupted because he had Tabasco on his fingers and rubbed his eyes.

So I have that right.

Yeah, well, he had yes, he forgot to wipe his fingers off and he started poking his I don't know what he was doing if he had, like, a bug in there or whatever it was. And then he started crying. And then as I got red and then he got distracted and he had to in the zone call. I blame Jerry Jones for this. Yep. If you're a good owner and you've got someone as shitty as Mike knowing that still employed he.

Shouldn't be allowed to season his food or have any flavor, you need to treat him like he's in prison. Yes, until he either quits on his own or decides that he's going to get better and be accountable and start to make improvements. You take away all salt, pepper. He should not be eating hot food or spicy food at all. So I put that on Jerry Jones. But it is one of these hilarious things like you see shitty teams, this only happens to a bad team.

There's no way that this happens. I know this has nothing to do with football. There's zero chance that the chiefs would go through this right now. Yes, no. And if you're a Cowboys fan and everything sucks right now, just know that once you step into this portion of the season, it's actually better, because I've always thought that if your team's going to be bad, be a circus because the circus is fun. You know, like a circus is something you can laugh and be so dysfunctional that these stories come out and you're like, how is this happening?

J.R. Smith throwing soup or like, whatever, whatever crazy thing should happen, hope that that happens so that you can root for just chaos. Yeah.

Well, what's going to start happening now that this story got so much attention? There's going to be like a big magnis magnifying glass on, like every small thing about the facility, knowing that, like, any small mishap is going to be like, oh, look at the dumpster fire. Yes, live look at the cowboys like somebody has locked in the bathroom and then that dog story. Whereas if this was a team that was going to go nine and seven or eight and eight, Edwarda will overlook the fact that Mike McCarthy has locked himself in a bathroom stall for the fourth time this year.

Yes, but if it's this comically hilarious team, Edwards is going to go live with like two cameras inside the bathroom. Yes. To get a comment from Mike as I just flushing the toilet with one foot.

You know, all these all these weird things are going to come to light. I'm very excited.

Yeah. Jerry Jones doing his mad press conference. You can really it's like the like post 9/11 when we had the threat level that they would put on the news every night, like where it is, you know, like it's green, it's red and yellow. Jerry Jones being agitated on his weekly radio hit is pretty much the threat level for the Cowboys. Yeah, how their season is going, like, you know, be a story. I think I saw it even I didn't even hear it or whatever.

I just saw like something just past glance by my my eyes being like Jerry Jones apologizes for, like hanging up on someone or being agitated with someone.

He told them to shut up. Yeah, there you go. I mean, yeah, the other owner in the NFL, like, you don't really OK, it's a major, major story when it's Jerry Jones says he does this radio hit every single week. You just kind of learn to ignore it. So today he said there's an old adage, don't piss an old man off with a little money. It'll get you. There you go. Jerry's telling everyone you want to stay in the will.

This is frightening people. This is a very it's a very dangerous Jerry Jones because, yes, he has nothing to lose. He's cornered. Jerry knows that he's probably going to die in the next five years if if he keeps going the way he is and God bless him, I'm sure that he wouldn't change a damn thing. But he also knows that, like, I need to I need to get me some gloryhole.

Yes, he would put it. He might I wouldn't be shocked. Jerry Jones tries to just change the rules of the salary cap being like no salary cap for these next five years.

I just blatantly cheat and then let the next person, Bitcoin, everyone, get caught.

Yes. Yes. All right. We're recording this after game six. We're going to put this into the show.

We are all at home, but we are hopping on a zoom because we figured World Series, the Dodgers have won. The World Series are good. Close personal friend Tommy Lasorda is not going to kill himself. We need to recap the game. And I think we can all agree. The game was a Kevin Cash versus computer and he let his computer fuck him in the face. And the Rays died by sabermetrics. And congrats to the Dodgers and Clayton Kershaw, Mookie Betts and everyone else.

Yeah, I mean, the Houston Rockets officially killed numbers in basketball. I think the Tampa Bay Rays. We can ignore the fact that they probably shouldn't have been in the World Series to begin with if it weren't for those numbers. But those very same numbers came back to bite them in the ass. They got fucked by a spreadsheet.

So for people who didn't watch, if you're watching The Bachelorette, if you were going to sleep early, Blake Snell started. I mean, that is the first sign that he fucked up. He took a Blake out of the World Series when he was absolutely dominating.

Blake Snell was seventy three pitches, two or two, hit zero, runs into the game and up. He had the next guy, the next guys in the lineup. Next three guys were over six with or no sorry, the next four guys in line for six with six strikeouts. And he pulled them after a single in what was it, the bottom of the sixth and was like, I'm yanking him. The computer says, we've got to go to the bullpen.

I'm going to freak out. I'm a nerd. I've never realized that the game is played with emotion in humans and not on a spreadsheet. And then the Dodgers end up winning on a pass ball. Mookie Betts then scores on on a grounder to first. And the computers have failed you. So computers. Lose Dodgers win. That's the story of a great World Series, right in the words of our good friend Matthew McConaughey, nerds versus dorks. Kevin Cash was a dork tonight.

He should have been a nerd. Nerd is cool. Nerd would know. In fact, an asshole would have known. I think in a situation like this, in the postseason, if you have a team that's comprised of nerds in the front office controlling decision making, you should have one asshole in the dugout. And during the playoffs, that asshole gets to fight the nerd or the dork that's telling them to do something completely against the assholes. Gut feeling.

Get one fight, you knock them out, you get to take that decision making, bring in like hired Tony La Russa to be the guy in your clubhouse that gets to fight the Dowrick when he starts to manage with a spreadsheet, because, I mean, I don't know shit about baseball. I'll be I'll be dead serious about this when it comes.

No, no. That's all that you're seeing. I know I'm talking about when it comes to sabermetrics, OK? I don't know. I know everything about baseball, but when it comes to knowing about the numbers behind the game, I'm a shithead. I don't know anything.

But I can tell you in this circumstance, you have to be world class dork to pull out Blake Snell.

Well, here's the only counter argument to everyone who is saying that Kevin Cash is an idiot and he totally fucked this up, which I happen to agree with. The only counter argument that you could throw out there is this is how the rays have have played the entire season. They have played this way the entire season. The old dance with the one that brought you. If this is how you're going to play, if the system is always worked and gotten you this far, follow the system and keep following the system in the World Series.

But at some point, at some point, and it's kind of like a perfect microcosm for where we are with sports in general, at some point you have to realize the human element. Your guy is pitching an absolute stellar performance and in a gym, that's what we call he's he's he's he's absolute shoving.

If you want to be a real seam head, he's shoving on the bump and you then take him out because, oh, you're the third time to the lineup. And this is kind of what you've done every single game. It just it's baffling. So I you know, I wanted a game seven. I think we all wanted to game seven. I am happy for Clayton Kershaw. I'm very happy for Magic Johnson. I'm very happy for Tommy Lasorda.

Mookie Betts. I don't know who else we have before anyone else. Walker Brown got to LeBron. It's a real title l l a. S title. Tom Walker Bulas got a cool name. I'm trying to think who else. A lot of good beards on the team to Cody Bellinger is cool. He's I'm cool with him. I'm tight with him.

I'm happy for the stadium. They've got a cool, nice retro feel in stadium out there. Yeah. We were really high when we were at that one time. It felt like a nice, warm, cozy place.

Yeah. The best was when we took when we went out to Dodgers Dodgers Stadium and took edibles and then those like fifty year old, I think they were like real Hollywood type of guys were standing in line with us and asked us what we did because people kept on coming up to us asking for pictures and we were so high we couldn't we couldn't describe what a podcast was.

Well, I just I think we were just in line for food. And our explanation was, well, we're going to get too many helmet's of ice cream. We get some pretzels and the Dodger dogs and maybe some nachos, the ones that come in the plastic bag with the neon yellow cheese that you get to dip it into. And he was like, no, but what do you do? And we're like, we're snacking. Yeah, we are snacking.

Chicken nuggets.

I did learn a fun fact about the third time through the lineup tonight.

So that's going to be one one little bit of information that I grasp on to for the next 50 years about how you always pull your former Cy Young winning pitcher out when it's the third time through the lineup, because it's I guess it's like it's tough to beat Belichick, you know, three times in a year or it's tough to beat anyone in football three times in a year. Same thing with baseball. So if you see the same batter three times, he's probably going to hit some Tater's off in the third time.

The other only explanation I can give is if you're Kevin Cash used, you just have to say, like, what happens if I ignore the computers? And then twenty years from now, when they run the world, they look back in time and they want to know why I was inspired it to the games. So if you think about it from that perspective, Kevin Cash was right, his future self preservation on his part. So I guess he was playing chess.

Well, we're playing checkers here.

Here's the only other thing I'll say that's positive about Kevin Cash tonight. Usually we blame managers, too, when managers and coaches who clearly manage and coach for like the the public consumption, it's the Pat Shurmur like the box scores. They don't want to lose by by twenty one. So they'll start punting when they're down fourteen with like seven minutes left in the fourth quarter, that kind of stuff. Kevin Cash doesn't give a fuck because no one would have blamed him if he kept doing Blake Snell and Blake's don't give up a home run or hit there, everyone would have been like right choice.

Instead he was like fuck. This I'm going to be bold and it's going to blow up in my face and I don't care. So the only the only thing I'm thinking of is like, what the hell does Blake Snell do when he gets in the locker room?

Does he fight? I think you have to take a swing at him. You have to take a swing. And by hitting Kevin Cash computer, obviously, I think you can.

So in terms of being a Blake, I think it's totally in bounds to take a baseball bat directly to the monitor and you maybe, like maybe fill up the entire the entire shower down there in Arlington and then throw the computer into the field bathtub and just absolutely destroy it.

But I think it's very odd, Blake, like behavior to actually try to fight your coach. I think that Blakelock behavior would be get in your car, drive home after destroying the computer, crank up the Nickelback and just, like, scream at the top of your lungs, holding the steering wheel all the way home.

Yes. Yes. Do we have the World Series MVP? I think it's probably the Kevin Cash.

Is that right? And right now, probably cause Sieger. But maybe Kevin Cash.

See, if it was Kevin Cash, he would have won. If you accept he never would have made such a risky decision.

I'm looking at we're going to give you we're going to say, where's Tommy Lasorda to someone to make sure they keep their eyes on Tommy Lasorda here.

I think Tommy is going to make sure he's his trainer. Had to, as a physician, had to stop adrenalin directly into his heart, like in Pulp Fiction.

Yes. Yes. Right. So they're about to announce it was a mooky. Hank, can you find it? I'm going to find it. I guarantee you. I take it. I think it's Corey Seager.

Yeah, they're doing it now. You have to take those five minutes before everyone and everyone is going to be sappy about Clayton Kershaw, Justin Turner came out of the game because he had a tested positive covid test. That sucks. So now you can celebrate Jesus.

Damn, that's got to be the worst. You can't they just didn't even they were just like, yeah, he had a positive covid test and just kept on kept on truckin.

I'd also like to say that the Washington Nationals are still current regular full season World Series champions.

That is for the record, that had gone to game seven. What the fuck would have happened? What the other covid?

Yeah, that's a great point, Hank. Holy shit. I even think about that. Keep Tommy away from them. Yes, how does the whole team must have spent. Yeah, so the whole team is probably at high risk of infection. Rob Manfred is going to get caught, but he wasn't wearing it.

Did you see do you see like two seconds ago, Rob Manfred got up to the podium.

He was just standing next to all the Dodgers players, and he just stuck his finger all the way inside of his nose. It's Rob Manfred probably just gave himself covid during the World Series trophy presentation.

It's probably it's so funny that Rob Manfred is about to boast about successfully finishing this season while the World Series champions all have covid now.

Oh, my God. Get Magic Johnson away from them, too. Yes. Yeah, that's bad. He should not be on the field right now.

Oh, all right.

I'm just going to say it's Corey Seager. The World Series MVP is corseted. They're taking way too long to announce it. Rob Manfred picked his nose like he said, pfft. He got booed. The Dodgers owner gave the longest, weirdest speech. I'm out. Thank you. Baseball. Thank you for for coming back for your 60 game season. This was a fun World Series, actually was very entertaining.

Yeah, I will miss baseball as soon as we, like, realized we have no sports on tomorrow night. We literally have no sports tomorrow night for the first time in like three months. So thank you. Thank you. We appreciate baseball. We sleep on Wednesday.

That's what that's what our motto is. Hank, I have one last question for you. Do you think that Brian O'Halloran is that his name, Brian O'Halloran, the GM for the Red Sox? You think he gets a World Series wrong? Probably not. I don't think so, no. Now I get fired, sure, Mookie Betts, yeah, maybe he gets a job, maybe this is a long play on his part.

Yeah, yeah. We all that his face, like you can have a World Series ring or you can have like room to maneuver. And, you know. That's right. You guys can get like one hundred players.

Right. It's you got take picture. Yeah.

And also Majar that like all the tax you would have had to pay, the payroll tax would have been just astronomical. So from a financial standpoint, I think we can all agree in a pandemic, the Boston Red Sox are the real winners.

How could I will never financially recover from this? There you go.

All right, let's get to our ad and then we'll do hotsy cool Hotsy Coldren brought to you by our friends at Hooters Hooters of the presenting sponsor of the sports workouts in Philly. And we couldn't be more excited. There are only choice for wings and the perfect partner for all the sports this fall in October, as we do every year, we're focused on raising money to fight breast cancer. With donations all benefiting the V Foundation. Guests can round up their checks, their check at the restaurant, make a donation on line Hooters dot com slash, give or buy.

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Appreciate it. Use code A one more time for ten dollars off any order over thirty on the Hooters app. OK, Hotsy Cutrona Henry Daniel and his conductor pants rude. What do you think about Heynckes pants.

Do those have a zipper on the knee. Is that if you had a knee zipper that's just for drugs isn't it. No.

Look, any time I see a zipper pop up in a place that I'm not used to seeing, I flip it every single day. I'm there. One day I wear normal pants because you wear shoes that are 17 different colors. Oh, yeah. Oh, here we go. These are pretty nice. Oh yeah. Yeah, literally. Yeah, I'm serious and they're nice.

You can't imagine with anything because they have different color. Wow. Who would ever wear out.

I mean you're wearing, you're wearing pinstripes. I'm wearing nice pants. Sorry. You know, one day a week of my life I was like I'm going to wear their cardinal wear out and see if he's wearing teal sweatpants. I am just you're wearing shoes and you're coming at me for wearing pants with stripes. It looks like you're the head chef at Annapolis. Yes. That's what those you got the baggy like. Yeah. Sells a bag of coke behind the fucking door.

You don't even watch fucking Mandalorian wearing a fucking pose, baby. I'm trying to sell merch poser. Hank, you're wearing a trucker hat despite you don't have a driver's license.

Oh, yes. I wouldn't ride with you.

We roasted each other anyway. Speaking of things that you roast me for, my hot seat is vacations. Oh, OK. So everyone knows. You know, I'm a huge advocate of vacations. People in the United States, especially you guys, like there's a lot of vacation shaming that goes on there. The latest victim, Kim Kardashian West. No, I don't know if you guys saw this, but today she posted on Twitter it's her fortieth birthday.

She posted a long thread. I don't know if she thought how how she thought this is going to go for her, but it didn't go well. She said after two weeks of multiple health screens and asking everyone to quarantine, I surprised my closest inner circle with a trip to a private island where we could pretend things were normal for just a brief moment in time. And like in this thread, she was talking about how great it felt to be, you know, feeling normal.

And I was just like, who the fuck has the ability to take fifty people to a private island normal? So she was getting vacation shamed.

And as you know, someone who is an advocate for vacations, it's sad to see some advocate for me, sad to see summer vacations on my family. They're like our family. No cognac. Okay, so you're a Devin Booker was on the guest list of fifty people. How many Phoenix Suns were on this game?

This one, just one I, I know what this is just like straight up, but let's get away from Konneh weekend, which I think like OK, acknowledged coincided with Joe Rogan. Yeah, that makes sense. So wait. The she was like, yeah, this is just we wanted to pretend like life is normal, we damn rode bikes, swam near whales, kayaked, watch a movie on the beach and so much more animal shit. I realized that for most people, this is something that is so far out of reach right now.

So in moments like this, I'm where my life is now.

Hashtag this is 40. It's out of reach all the time for all of us. I like that.

Listen, most people during a pandemic can't go to Bali and set up a movie theater screen on the sand and watch a preview of TENNET. But we can. And once this all gets back to normal, I'm hoping that all of you will be able to do that as well.

People who've lost their job being like what I really miss is being able to take 50 people to a private.

I don't want to see that movie really got I got that movie. Got fuck. Yeah. Time. Yeah, I see everybody.

Tenet is the DaShawn Watson of movies and everyone feels bad for Tenet coming out this year. And like no other film that was going to come out this year or next, it's like all about Tenet, Tenet, Tenet. True. The reason why I'm mad about Tenet is because I just get I get confused watching the trailer. If you're going to everyone that seems to be it was confusing as shit to everyone.

Like movie sounds like when is it coming out.

Well, it was it like came out, but it was like in states where you could go to the movies which was like no states that do have a phone in the studio, pick up, pick it up.

Yeah. What the hell. Turn the phone on what is going on the phone.

Who's calling? Lenny. Pick it up. Hey, Susie. Yes, that's through several notices in the mail that you have yet to extend your warranty past the factory cutoff, and this is a courtesy call to renew your warranty.

Do you think this was a real person you were interested in renewing? You're talking about now, please press five five or press nine to be removed from our list. So do you think that was a real person there? Oh. I don't know. All right, young five. I did, but it wasn't going through, I don't feel like I don't think our phone system works like that.

I wanted to talk to the clown pants, aunt. All right. Thank you. Look at me.

Yeah. Gene, Hank would have passed that clock.

Look, we're talking genes. He's looking me up. And at least at least that's one of the jumpsuits I got you for Christmas last year when you guys. And get me a gift.

Yeah. We got the gift of you and other vacation. No, I haven't.

I, I bought you a gift, but you literally take your vacation literally. My gift for you literally expired before you got back for me to give it to you. We told Erica to take our weekend.

I like your pants. Positive vibes. Thank you, Billy.

Wait, you're happy that Billy said he likes your pants? Yeah.

He's not fucking 100 years old. Oh, I actually good old fashioned. It looks like a Braille Braille word for corduroy. No, he looks he looks like a train conductor in a fucking children's book. I'm going to read to my son.

Drip, drip, drip. I don't have much drip. I got that Polar Express drip going on and read the sad train conductor.

Choo choo. Jeez, my cool throne is justice, law and order, Hank.

OK, yeah. Big, big fan of AKB. The NCAA is back.

UMass tennis girls tennis team got stripped of an eight 10 title in three years of wins white because they self reported reimbursing a player for a two hundred fifty two dollars phone jack in their room.

So the players that they didn't know that they had the phone, Jack. And they're like, oh, like, you know, we didn't know this was part of our. Why do we never why do they need a two hundred and fifty two dollars phone?

No, they didn't know it was in their room, so they got charged for it and they were like, we don't know, it's in our room. So UMass was like, we'll pay for your phone, Jack, because we didn't tell you guys a room. Got it then they're OK.

Just to be safe, we'll report this. And then they got stripped of three years of wins and a ten title. OK, well, we will justices on the cool throw.

We will no longer acknowledge those two hundred and fifty two wins. Are there a ten title on this show?

We're going to have to take back all the parties we threw. What's for after? Yeah, we have to delete what? The health of hundreds of folks. That's actually a fair question for you. For someone your age.

Like, is it like a charger? No. You plug your phone into the wall. Right. And you know you know what it's like an Ethernet cable. Looks like that little weird blinking thing at the end. Yeah.

It goes into your phone and then you can use your phone to make phone calls, house phone, like a landline landline. Looking at a picture of it right now.

It's like an Internet cable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So why either a cable for boomers? Why would you have that in a hotel room. No, like their dorm.

Because you used to have to use a phone in your dorm room. That wasn't a cell phone. Huh. These girls are on scholarship and it was they got put in a room, they got charged for having a phone jack in their room. So then they were like, this is bullshit cause we don't even use a fucking phone, Jack, because we're not boomers. So then the team was like, all right, we'll give you the two hundred fifty dollars that you got charge for it.

Bang, that's Godwin's vacate.

No, I agree with justice. You don't listen. If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything. And you need to draw a line. Man's got to live by a code in this code is no handouts.

Good. Hotsy Calderon. Hank, thanks. Good job.

Yeah that it for hot hotseat. Cool throne. Yeah. Yeah. OK, my hot seat is toxic masculinity.

Toxic man shaming because people are shame each other for clothes. They wear a toxic mask. Yeah it is. When you lost boys being boys it's pmed special. You look like a waiter at Al Capone's funeral.

Yeah, definitely. Yeah you are. You look like a Halloween costume. We're in the bottom half of Halloween costume and in Orange County, it's just like adult Halloween party in California. Check it out. Hey, hey. You like my my got my Tommy gun.

You look like you're a janitor themed bar mitzvah is you dress yourself. Look, everything you're wearing is free. I don't think I can like put together, but I would never wear anything like that. It's more of what am I gonna do if I was like, hey Patty, we got sent these pants, you wear them the next day. It's more embarrassing that I'll wear this or that you'll pay money for that too, anyways.

Oh, we're going to have to put out a picture. This basically became a pension.

This will be put on. It's going to be a bit off. We put it up on a pole. What what will his pants look like?

A lazy town character, which is which is kind of like a now like I don't participate, but it's like I go, he's going for.

Yeah, no, they're like the pants that Lou Pearlman gets to wear in jail. All right. Well, not really. You say I dead. I'm pretty sure. I mean, the guy from Sons of Anarchy. Yeah, he's fat as fuck. No, he's the guy that managed. Backstreet Boys, oh, big time dead, he's dead. No, we don't do all right, people. No, he got cancelled and died.

We're just like, thank God he's dead. Or that we call that the Sicignano about that. All right. All right.

My hotseat is toxic masculinity.

So there was a guy from Pro Football focus who said that, in my humble opinion, I am macho, attacking the Cowboys for not going after Bostic, who by any means wasn't a threat to Dalton anymore, is toxic masculinity at its peak? This guy from Pro Football focus, I think he's in Germany. He's a German guy, right, Billy?

They love hiring guys. Not from America. They do. They don't watch our sport. America's team in a sport. If you want to talk about schools, toxic German energy. Yes. Stop talking about our sport, bro. Forgive me, Dick, to fucking buya not covering the spread today.

Forgive me for not wanting to trust what a German has to say. A bunch of people with stars on their shirts. I'm not going to go down that road, but you're taking me there. Pro football focus mouz.

But he said basically that we should not be shaming the Cowboys for not defending any Doulton. Meanwhile, every person that's ever played football has responded and been like, this is this is incorrect. Yes. Because shame because there is something to be said for like you send a message to the person that's going to hit your next quarterback. Absolutely.

So like and if you don't have your one doodler, you probably can speak better. I actually when you got knocked out, did your offensive linemen, you have your back.

They did have my back, but you're not supposed to touch the person who's knocked out. This is actually very important fact for viewers out there. Why? Because when they banned smelling salts, it was because that the unconscious people would jolt their heads back after smelling them. And if they had a fracture in their neck, it would crack their neck and make them paralyzed. So you're not supposed to touch someone who's knocked out complete.

Got it. It's not. That's why they banned smoking. So that's why every weekend.

Right. Right. But this week, that's why they don't give people who are knocked out smelling salts anymore.

They jolt their head back and removes moves their neck and can cause a serious neck injury. So the Cowboys should not have been touching the lifeless, not moving Andy Dalton on the floor.

They should have been fighting. Yeah, they should have been fired. You shouldn't be touching. Also touching. Only fighting. Yeah, I agree with that. Or or call the police a profession. That's what pro football focus guy wants you to do. If you see something like happen, your quarterback, don't be a hero, call law enforcement over and have law enforcement take care of it.

That's also just a classic case of a guy just trying to be like everyone thinks this. Let me show you how I think different.

It's a nerd that learned about a very serious issue, that heard somebody talk about toxic masculinity. One time he said, I'm going to fit this into everything that I write about.

No, we're not saying like go kill Pachon Bozic. We're saying like, hey, maybe have a problem with your quarterback's head getting taken, hold him accountable, hold out, hold him accountable.

Doesn't happen again.

So. Exactly. So it doesn't happen to Gucci tanuki. Mm hmm. Yes, he's in trouble now.

Somebody comes over to your house and like hits your dog. Are you. But then they're not then they're not hitting your dog anymore. Are you going to be like, OK, we're cool now just don't do you let me just let me just make sure my dog's OK.

Yeah, I'll fucking kill them.

You're going through the plate glass. I'm not going to ask you if you want to stick around and fuck my wife. I'm going to throw you out the front door.

Yeah. Charles Barkley ass boom. Throwing them out the window. All right. Which Kulgera. Oh yeah. Sorry, I get a little worked up.

Yeah, that's toxic masculinity. Yeah. I fucking work in the lab, their hand up. We, we got a guy and we my head. Yeah.

We just got attacked Leroy so jacked up we went literally like three minutes without mentioning Hank's pants. Yeah.

I mean yeah that'll be a good name for the, for the brand of those pants. It's just toxic masculinity. Right.

Hank would butcher like throne is being a human being. Oh. So baseball prospectus has announced that they are no longer allowing writers to refer to players as being assets. So Baseball Prospectus is a magazine, what do you call it, a quarterly share?

A journal. Who cares? It's something. And what they've done for the last like twenty five years. The whole reason for existence has basically been to distill baseball down to numbers, games and like a spreadsheet and be like, here's what's being undervalued, here's what's being overvalued.

And now they've realized through the Astros accomplishing what they've accomplished that maybe, maybe they should talk about players like they aren't numbers.

So so this is kind of like when they went they don't do disabled lists anymore. It's injuries. Yes, sir. Yes. You know, it's. What is it?

No, it's what is it. What is it? Instead of disabled list, do you weren't able to list all injured list.

Oh yeah. Oh that's right. Yeah. Our word list. Yeah. Jesus Christ. This is these are the type of decisions that people make that you're just playing into the angry guy online. Like you make you make a decision about a fucking word that no one has ever thought twice about. They now can just ah. You about like they're trying to take away our words, ask. Yeah, what? Yeah, you can't even say acid anymore, huh?

Sorry if this offense, but it's funny because baseball prospectus has been like their entire mission statement has been pissing off guys like that. Right. For other reasons. And now they're like doubling down. They're saying, hey, we're going to call ourselves out on being problem, getting all the way in. You know, they created this entire movement that's going on around where players are literally looked at as only. Correct.

Like the Tampa Bay, Tampa Bay Rays. They have a roster laden. They are all right. They are thick. Their assets are our prime and plum.

All right. My hot seat is myself ready for this. Hank myself, I'm on the hot seat for doubting my friend Henry Lockwood. Because, Henry, you said to me on Monday that just you wait about the cocoa and football teams.

Well, I'm sorry, Hank. You were right.

This coronavirus thing, we should probably shut down all the seasons because Graham Mert's has the cocoa and so does chase, Wolf. And they're thinking about canceling the Wisconsin Nebraska game. And Hank, you were right.

Thank you 100 percent. You're right. I know. I appreciate your apology. So I'm I'm sorry.

Apology accepted. What do you why you keep looking me up and design you? He's I mean, he's sizing you up hard. I sit directly across from you. I have no choice. All right. But yeah. This sucks.

Sterling sucks. What are you going to do? Vandam Boom time, man. And boom. Or just cancel the season and become like maybe I'll just become Dan Wolken. Yeah. I've never played in to begin with, but also keep keep keep the one to no record.

Yeah. Dan Wolken cats. Dan Wellcamp. Yes that's I'm down for that. Like I'm down to just shift and be like you know what, the Big Ten was a bad idea. Yeah.

Well I mean 21 days is a lot. It's so stupid but hot damn it is. Can I just admit to something. Yeah. Hand up. I have no idea what's the right amount of days again.

I don't either. Twenty one just feels it sounds like a lot, way too many days it sounds like way longer than fourteen days or even ten minutes is way to know what you can do to your body in 21 days.

I could completely transformed. Yes. In one days.

All right. My cool throne is everyone, all the LeBron haters out there because we got him officially in Asterix on this title via Pat Riley.

Ever heard of him? He knows sports. He knows basketball. He said the other day they beat us fair and square. They were the best team. But there's always going to be an asterisk. That caveat, if we had Bam and Goran Goran was our leading scorer in the playoffs at one hundred percent, it could have gone to seven games or whatever fact. So there you go. He said, there it is. And then someone asked to clarify because they're like, Hey, dude, sounds like you put an Asterix on this whole thing.

And he's like, let me just clarify real quick the asterisks next to the Heat's name, not the Lakers. Their title is legitimate. Our loss has an asterisk. Oh, I like that the Lakers were the better team.

So so the Heat could kind of claim champions, correct? Correct. Yeah.

OK, so here's it's not actually LeBron hating. It's just it's stating the fact that the Heat would have been better.

We've finally figured out how this shakes out. LeBron in the Lakers, NBA champions, Miami Heat, NBA champions, Asterix.

Correct. They get. Yes, correct. Correct. Congratulations, Jake, to your twenty twenty Miami Heat stroke NBA champions, the Astros. Thank you. Thank you.

Jimmy Butler, great player. Yes. Number one overall. Yes. Twenty twenty one.

That's yes. Billy. You got her hotsy CALDERON.

Yes, my hotseat is the United States of America. Now, we've been waiting about we you know, we've been talking about this for a long time. We've been in big denial about the whole thing. But finally, a murder hornet's nest has been found within the United States borders in Washington. Yep, 100 to 200 murder hornets have been found.

But we sucked that thing dry. Right? We stuck a vacuum up.

It's the queen is still in the tree. They have not been able to get it out.

How can you tell? Cut the tree down. How many murders have they committed? Yeah, the murder hornets have arrived and they're breeding. They're here. And we should be afraid.

Oh, I'm not going to refuse. Why can't we be there until they murder someone there? They're not. They're here.

They're they murder CS. I hated a second degree.

We've been dying it for months and they're finally hearing murder lame ass. You know what they are right now?

They're just trespassing hornets. They're here. Yeah, they haven't done shit. Bill, you would hang out.

You know, I was in denial. I was in denial. I was in denial.

But I think we should start taking them seriously. So. Well, here's some creative solutions. One, cut down the tree like Big Cat said no to just like that entire area for us on it.

Yeah. Burn the whole fucking forest. Right.

Let's light the Western force on fire. All right, cool, don't stutter there otherwise be murder hornets everywhere, really cool thrown pirates. OK, pirates back off the coast of England. I heard there some pirates.

Oh, really? You did you you say that like you just like I heard it like through I heard it like someone just is like, hey Bill, you hear about these pirates.

They're some pirates. Where did you hear it? I saw it on the Internet.

There's pirates, OK? I don't know. They're traditional piracy.

Tom Hanks is just trying to get like Billy sources out of. Huh? No, no. I mean, to be fair, saying I saw it on the Internet is better than most of Billy sources. Yes, sure. Like I heard this guy. I heard it. There's some pirates where where.

Tell me why they did the hijacking of the pirates oil.

Yeah. Pirates hijacked. Yeah, but no, but they haven't done in a long time.

I mean a whole movie about it. Cool thrown. I'm the captain looking out. But that was like some years ago. Pirates are back.

Know what that was about like present day. No, but there's pirates now right. There was pirates when they made the movie. Right. But that was like ten years ago. You think they were stopped being pirates?

There's been a pause. The ten year pirates, pirates were like, oh, damn.

Tom Hanks is in a movie with us. Like we should probably.

Tom Hanks has inspired people to be pirates. Absolutely.

Made the pirates look awesome. Yeah, well, now there's pirates.

I mean, I didn't hear about pirates since they're now the Somali pirate, you'd be like, damn, they caught that pedophile. Let's all be pirates so we can catch a bunch of pedophiles. Exactly. I don't actually.

But anyway, next cool throne. Yeah, my hedgehog outpaced.

Leroy went wow. Four and two on the week pass four days. I put a positive spin.

Yeah, it's not very positive. I mean Leroy is still fighting and dying down. Yeah.

It's pretty good anyway really. Just run up the score. Sad that you have to, you have to drag others down to build yourself.

I'm just saying they went head to head and hedgehog one.

OK, ok, great job. All right. Good job Billy. Good job. All right, let's get to our interview with Michael Irvin. Before we do that, we told you about how we've been using Amazon music for a while.

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Amazon.com take. OK, here he is, Michael Irvin.

Oh, let's just get into it. So we have Michael Irvin on Pro Football Hall of Famer needs no real introduction. Three times you Balwinder the playmaker, you know him. You love him. Cowboys, Miami legend. So we're talking about you wearing being someone who doesn't have air pods and you have accord's just dangling out there, all screwed up.

I mean, look at them. They look like a mess.

Just like this right here. Just like that right there. You just leave that like that.

It means action. That means you got action on this cool.

You got action on the court.

So so are a lot of people yelling, Mike, Mike, I want a picture. And you probably don't even have anything on in your ears. You just have the court.

You doing the fake out right in his not. And I don't mind taking pictures. I really don't know. But this is the case. You guys should get some of this. You guys know you're a number one pocket. So you know that people like to take on the discussions that you had. And when they see you, they want to get what they got to get in because they watch you on TV. Are they watching you on pocket and go like you remember two weeks ago when you got him talking about the Giants?

Yeah. You see, I'm like. You know, we were onto conversations and I have to so I try to keep moving from that. Now is up on me and as long as we're not in a bar and there's alcohol around, I don't mind taking a picture with you.

But now we're in a bar and we're having a drink. So don't ask me to take a picture in this bar. There's nothing good coming out of that 50 year old man.

And we're sitting here and we got just restaurants outside. We can do all of that yet, but not at a bar.

Yeah. And if you have one beer in your hand, people assume that that's your 10th beer of the night no matter what. After pictures taken, there's no context. Actually, I only had seven of them in three shots.

Totally different. Get that taken out context real fast.

Well, I want to talk to you right off the bat. You said you came in hot today, real resume call. We asked you how you were doing. You said, don't ask me that damn question. I'm mad because, you know, the Dallas Cowboys are in the state that they're in right now. You are very in tune with the Dallas market, with Jerry Jones. What what's Jerry inclined to do right now? Is he is he thinking about firing Mike McCarthy?

I don't think Jerry is ready to go there. And I think what right now, what's with saving at all is everybody's being able to put what's happening on the pandemic, you know? Well, we've had situations.

And quite honestly, though, I give them no excuse for this, I'm just given the reality of this. I don't think we've seen a team hit by injuries like the Dallas Cowboys.

I don't know if ever in the history of the NFL yet, both official titles, not just these two pro bowlers gone. You know, you're you're starting Pro Bowl center retires on you. Then a second guy, he goes and get hurt. He's up. Zack Martin was the only guy that was consistent and then he's in and out of the lineup. And then not only do you lose the whole offensive line, because, guys, I tell people all time, if there's one guy missing, you can kind of hide that in the midst of an offensive line and you struggle in a toga.

But you start I get three and four missing your back to back up guys. And I jokingly say it all the time. And I said it last week on our show, like, I don't want to hear that. I want to hear nothing about damn offensive lineman. I tell my kids when I do camps where I do football camp, I tell all my young kids, all my young officer line, I'll give them the rule number three rule.

Here's the number is the rule of threes. I mean, the rule of threes. When you grow up, you're going to be three hundred pounds. The guy across from you, he's three hundred pounds. All you have to do is stay in front of him for three seconds. Something will pay you three hundred million dollars one day.

One day. And I know it sounds crazy, but that's really true.

And by the time they get these kids eight, nine, ten years old right now, by the time they get in the league, that number will be apropos.

We got officers on the line. A hundred million dollar contracts already. So you're three hundred pounds. He's 300 pound. Figure out a way to stay in front of him for three seconds and somebody I'll pay you three hundred million dollars.

OK, so you are famously very competitive guy, one of the hardest workers. You know, the stuff of legends in your workouts. Is there even a small part of you that sees the cowboys? I know you love the Cowboys. You love Jerry Jones, but they've never been the same since playmaker retired. Is there a small part of you that's like, yeah, that was because of me. Like, I'm the guy. It's just justice. Yeah, maybe a real small plot.

Yeah, he's got his hands apart even farther. Yeah.

And you do bring up a great point to this. And this is what I talk about now. Like, imagine the position that Dak Prescott is in. You know, these guys I like when I got hurt in Philadelphia and in ninety nine and I had to retire and I remember watching the game I was going to the game. I want my boys to do well because they're my boys. But I also want to be moved right on you, you know.

Yeah, I want to know that I'm married. We all do. Every human being. I don't care who you are, how righteous you think you are, straight and just what you want to matter.

Everybody wants to know. We all want affirmation and confirmation. We want to matter. So, so, so that has been sitting there saying, oh, my God, you know, those are my guys. But but but I want to be missed.

And he should know he is being missed.

Oh, my God. Because what I see right now with any dog, God bless them, they were averaging thirty six points a game with back now to averaging thirty points. One dog. I'm saying Jerry every time to trot somebody else out, he's making me money. So let's just go back to this table and my leg is healed up. You give me my money.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's an interesting thing. Yeah. You want you want you guys to do well.

And that's that, that's the conundrum. But you want to be miss.

Yeah. I appreciate the honesty there because some guys won't won't admit that, but I think you're absolutely right.

Know we need a football player. No monkey. I want my team to do well.

Set up line stop. You got you just stop me. We all human.

I actually think that if you had that attitude where it was like, yeah, you are not wanting to be missed, you're not a little bit upset that they're surpassing what they were doing with you. You're probably not the football guy to lead that team to begin with. That's probably not the right attitude to have like you want to do. That's always going to be competitive and do it.

It's a fine line between that. Right, because that's you're absolutely right. And that's the setting. Now, if you say that openly, then people, you know, they want they want to ostracize you.

Oh, my God.

You know, you selfish person, there's a fine line between greatness and there's a fine line to how you accomplish greatness. And I think I think there has to be a thin line between when you are selfless and selfish all the time, every day. I'm I don't like practice, Philip.

I want to love my guys.

Look, I want to lift them up and raise my boy. I want to bring the best I can and help them become the best they can be, but then fight with the game on the line. That's. Yeah, and I bet right now, Paul, to me, Dak Prescott wouldn't say publicly or around his teammates at least like, hey, look at that. Look at you suckers right now without me. But he will probably get to sleep, like, a little bit more soundly at night, knowing that he's going to have that financial security and he's going to be the guy moving forward after after he heals up from that leg when he got hurt again.

And to you, he was concerned he'll never see it. And I love him. I love him to death. He's a great new great friend. I love him to death when he got hurt. I guarantee you were when you saw that crime, when he was leaving all of that weight on his head, you just brought up all of that weight on his head. But over the last two weeks, watching you, watching the team go without him, his head is calm down.

And he said right now, yeah, my money would be there.

Yeah, yeah. I've got to get out now. I just focus on the league. My money will actually might be the best negotiating technique that he's used so far. Yes.

Yeah. So so I mentioned the famous workouts in your work ethic.

Can you walk us through for for the young people that listen to our show? Might not, you know, might not remember Michael Irvin in his prime, what it look like maybe during the height of the Cowboys and the height of your partying? How much like what time would you get into the, you know, practice? How late would you stay out practice, then back out? What would it look like on a on a given week?

Well, OK. How good is the guy then? I'll be totally flat with you up front with you and Frank with you, because really I talk about it all the time and what I what I was trying to do, what I did, what I did, I could have done things another way, but but what I always did, like I could party and have a great time.

And Jamie would tell us when we went to Super Bowl is that guys go away for a couple of months and I would get away.

I it's a little I mean, you know, that February and March, all of February, I'm everywhere doing everything. I am absolutely everywhere, doing everything while being out. I mean, having a blast, to be honest with you. Somebody ask them, how did how did all of it become a problem? Why did all of that come from us? Because it was so fun. What do you mean?

It was so far, nobody goes into it saying, man, I don't have a problem with this. You know, you're going to me, this is fun. I'm having fun. And the fun overtakes you. And I always it's OK to have a problem. It's a problem when the problem has you. Now, for all of my life, I could do all of this thing, partying, fun, having fun, chasing women out, drinking, doing all that stuff, chasing, catch me, doing all of that stuff too and all of that stuff.

But I did it until March. My birthday is March 5th, the second weekend in March, which always tell us is when we started back training. So I would always have a blast and then had a big one big time party. Oh wow.

Our girls were getting everything.

And then after that I started training and I never did anything while I was training. Now, during the week of practice, all we would do is Thursday night we would go out.

That was our night out Thursday night, because Friday is a light day and Thursday night would be the day we all go out. We all over the place, Kabul Cafe. We have dreams, you know, mess around teenage girls, do whatever, have a good time.

But it was really team bonding moments. It was the moments I would say talk to Amy like, you know, chicken wings and some drinks about four weeks from now. What we got, Reg, what are you going to have rich, white owned rich white going to be the minister of defense is coming in. And you know how you get guys talking about it over drinks. You know, it's all good over drink four weeks later. I don't have to be in his ear.

I know. I know. All I do is come up to my big fella. Remember, we talked about him. I think I can do more. But I got him because that that was the bonding moment. Yeah, well, I got lost. I got lost. And the parties to have a good time is when I retired. When I retired. Right.

And I go to February, I'm, I'm getting high, having a great time. And then in March comes around and I'm still having a good time and then April comes around. That's OK. Enough of this.

Now I got to get focused on what I want to do next. I'm no longer playing football. And all of the years prior to that, you know, I've never flown to Detroit, has never done anything.

I was always able to stop. I was always able to stop. But now I could not stop. I found myself saying I said, I'm not doing this anymore. And in the next, we can't be right back out there doing it.

And I had to figure I had to get some counseling and find out what it was.

All I was doing was switching addictions at the time. I was switching addictions. And when I no longer had football addiction to get out of the old addiction, toll addiction would take over. I thought that was fascinating because once I learned it, I was able to mitigate it and help it and said, OK, I just got to find something else to throw myself into, like I did football to come out of this. And that's what I did.

So what was that thing initially that you threw yourself into that you're like, I got to find a new addiction, a healthy addiction to get me away from the destructive addiction?

Well, first of first, I walked in service and Bishop T.D. Jakes was there. And this was a phenomenal man. I love him to death, man.

And and I and he was preaching a sermon, I mean, called Coming Out in the Rain. I'll never forget the sermon coming out in the rain. And he was talking about. Yeah, he said, I know it felt like he was talking right to me. He said, yeah, I know everybody knows who you are. You got a nice cause in the big houses and you got all the nice clothes.

But people don't know that you're soaking wet in pain. He says today's your day to come in out the rain. And I was like, oh, I was talking right to me. Yeah, that's it right there.

I mean, I was talking right to me. So I went laid down on the altar and he came over because a lot of people laying down and all he laid his hands on me. And then he starts saying, he said, you know, he spoke about he spoke to me and said, you know, he put me in front. You said a lot of people have been talking a lot about what's going on, but God can fix everything.

God can fix it for you. And when I got up what he did, he said, Michael, I want I want to make sure I want to make sure that you get what you need and say, I want you, you're going to travel with me. So I was traveling with Bishop Jakes. I was at beer. I mean, I carried Bibles every time, literally New York, wherever he had to go speak, took me with them.

I would carry his Bible, said his Bible up on the stands and everything, and he would mentor me. And all the moments between time I would see the things that he was doing. And it was just and we were in L.A. one time he was speaking and we were staying over at the Beverly Wilshire when we were staying at the Beverly Wilshire.

And I said to him, we were walking around and and this guy had a Rolls Royce. And I was like, man, I'm looking at cars of his car. Four hundred and fifty thousand dollars. I mean, why would you spend that kind of money on a car and do the crazy? And he got upset with me. He was like, son, are we learning anything here?

Am I wasting my time? I said, Well, what do you mean? I'm just sayin I wanna spend four hundred and fifty thousand dollars on a car. I mean, it's going to get me to the next place, just like the thirty, forty, fifty thousand dollar car, you know, he says, listen, OK, listen, you wouldn't spend it on a car, but you spent it on chasing women flying all over the country, doing all that crazy stuff is there.

So why would you mess with another man if, you know, you got your own issues? I never thought about it like that. I mean, he was absolutely right. I never thought about it like that. And it opened my eyes like, OK, let me get off that. And it was so funny is after all of that, I went and broke the damn car.

Anyway, I still can't now because, yeah, if you spend the money on that, then that's less than you can spend on the bad shit you're trying to get away from. Yeah. There you go. That's a good investment, Michael, since I wasn't.

Well, no cars are depreciating certainly the lot. But but since I wasn't doing that, I had to go to go buy the car.

So I went and bought the car anyway. And I just thought that was that was a fascinating lesson for me to learn. And I just appreciate all that. We walked in. Steve Harvey was doing a radio show. Right. And I walked in as Amobi information is Steve Harvey. When we walked in, Steve Harvey was on the air. He said he said, oh, my God, said everybody. Bishop Jakes just walked in and he said, oh, my God, you guys know how much trouble I was getting in and time.

He said, guess who he just walked in with. He said, Coming up next, Bishop Jakes in the morning he walked in here with and I would tell you, if God did save this man, God could save anybody.

That makes it to Steve. I'm sorry. What was that? But but I guess he was right. Yeah, I can say. You mean he could save anybody? Yeah.

This might be a dumb quite well, not dumb question, but very simple question. What was it like to play on a team that was so dominant? Like what was it like to go into a Super Bowl being like we got this like there. I'm not worried about it.

Did it how what was that feeling like to be on such a dominating force of nature of a team which was the Cowboys in the 90s?

It was absolutely nothing like it was a hot it was a high above all highs.

And probably why I got lost in the other stuff because I was looking for that kind of a hot you'll never find you'll never find it when you get fifty three men that are going out on a football field and we're going, we're coming to impose our will. You can do about this, but nothing to do about it. I just tell guys your mom, brother, sister, uncle, cousin, niece and nephew. No, they're throwing the ball to me on third and eight and there's nothing any of you can do about it.

There's nothing you can do about it. You just got to endure it.

There's nothing that's the kind of hard. But now to that we didn't start that way. Right. You know what made it great for us is and while we never lost our way as a team and never started talking about each other and we started my first year there at eighty eight, we were three and thirteen. I came here from from Miami. Well, Nasim, if I may have lost two games, three games and my whole college career were we would tear people up and then I did the Dallas.

And the first thing I say when I get drafted, cowboys go into the Super Bowl because I thought I was the key. We got them now anyway. Get ready. You're going to get the MVP. You get you in the Pro Bowl.

We're going to the Super Bowl. And I was such a sore loser. And we started our first game in Pittsburgh. My first game, I catch a car ride with the right attitude. I take this thing that I'm like, this is easy. Oh, probably cluelessly, man.

After I scored that touchdown, they scored. They scored, they scored. They scored. We didn't score any more. We lost that game. And I was absolutely buju crying in my locker room and there were guys coming up to me and it's just this, I never forget this coming up to me say hey man, come on now, because I was literally tikrai I was, you know, come on man, you got to get this. The NFL, we don't do that in the NFL.

Just pick up their check on Tuesday. I blew my mind, you think. And I've been working my ass off all my life to get here because I want to compete with the best. And all you guys are talking about is kicking up a check on Tuesday. Oh, my God. We went three and thirteen that year. The next year, Jimmy Johnson came in and my coach in college, dude. When Jimmy came in, all know, as brothers, as brothers, we got this thing, I ain't no snitch.

It's a big thing in the black community. I ain't no snitch, man.

Jimmy came in. Trust me, I was like it was like Santa. I made a list. I checked it twice, removed every two to touch me and said, don't worry, let's pick up the check on Tuesday. I said, Coach, you got to go. He got to go. He got to go. He got we got rid of all of them. I said, we can't win with that. Yeah, we cannot win with that.

And then, you know, we we still want to defeat that. Yeah. So so, you know, we came and winning fifteen and it came in, we went seven and not but even in the midst of seven and nine, I felt the beginning of what you talked about, that dynasty coming together, what we what we walk in any stadium and we knew that we were going to win. It's not a matter if we were going to win, it was how many points you think will beat them by.

Right. You know, so so so I thought that and it's funny you bring it up, because as I said there, thinking about it the other Sunday watching games, I said to myself, why are you in New England? I said, I remember the moment the dynasty ended. Deon came to me and we were talking about something. And I said I said, Buddy, it's over. It's over. We would not have that feeling when we walked in and said, How many points are we winning by now?

We will we will go to this game now said, OK, can we win these games? And as I watch New England the other day, lose that game. That's the thing I thought about. I said, I wonder if anybody's in the locker room saying the game is over.

Yeah. And by the way, so Pat and I are both thirty five years old. So we remember, like, basically the first football memories are the Cowboys winning Super Bowls. And this was a feeling at the time, like I remember being like, oh, it's not the Cowboys are going to win. It's just like, are they going to embarrass the bills like that?

Wasn't that was it was almost like like it's a foregone conclusion. We're going to watch the game.

Maybe it'll be close, hopefully be close. Like that was back when the Super Bowl was always a blowout. But this was a feeling this wasn't like just so you know, hindsight's twenty twenty. It felt like this at the time in the Super Bowl.

Yeah. Do you feel bad about just destroying the Buffalo Bills, like not letting them win one Super Bowl? Is there a small part of Michael Irvin where you're like, man, that was kind of a dickhead thing for me to do.

Absolutely nothing I ever tell you I did.

I get upset about it. We should have had the record right now for most points in the Super Bowl, we scored fifty two in that first Super Bowl. And you guys, we always believe that, hey, you know, the Super Bowl is really the NFC championship game.

It was also San Francisco, US Green Bay at the time. You know, when we score fifty two points, you know, I scored two touchdowns and 18 seconds to office. Touchdown, 18 seconds. I should be at least one of my records. They should last at least. I will be in the books forever with a touchdown in 18 seconds. But but they like late in the game. Leon, let me get a fumble. And Leon is running all the way back.

And if he scores this touchdown, you know, we're at fifty nine points. That's a record to this date, you know, but he pulls out, he holds his he holds the ball out because that's what I used to do when I went across the goal line wide open and somebody knocked the ball down. I was so hot at Kent. I was like, know you asked me, did I feel bad about beating him? Fifty two to seventeen.

No, I don't. I can't. We should have everything. It would have been a Super Bowl record.

Could said I was trying to do that thing. You did come across as your alignment. There's no sweet in line. You just get the damn ball in the end zone.

Don't try to do that stuff. But but no, I didn't feel bad about it whatsoever. What I do. What I will say. Because I do feel that. That while I was in it, I didn't see it like I see it and we talked about all the things that we did. I didn't at all. I look back now. I wish that maybe if I didn't do those things, I could squeeze more Super Bowls out. You know, I could have one more and, you know, think about it at the time, you know, but but well, when you move past that time and look back on it, you like me.

I should have done more. I could have done more. Well, but but but. But I doubt it. I'm blessed we won three of them, even though I think we still won five or six.

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Michael Irvin, you mentioned the Don Beeby chase down on Leon Lett. We saw DK Metcalf chase down Budda Baker on Sunday Night Football. Incredible. Like I coached Dick.

I'm one of his strength and conditioning and speed coaches. I think I've done my job very well. That to me very well.

Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate the call. That and the bootmaker and the Larry Allen Chase down block. I think you were on that Cowboys team, right, when Larry Allen chased down the Saints linebacker.

His ass is three hundred and fifty three hundred and sixty pounds, outrunning a linebacker to the corner and and just wrapping him up like he's like he's a cornerback essentially. What chase down block do you think or what chase down tackle do you think is the most impressive out of all those.

Both are impressive now. And to break this down here, Allen at three hundred and thirty forty three point thirty pounds running like that is.

Out of his world and Larry Alan, I thought was to change. He was the first one to start changing. We're playing. I need new in the car. Derek Kunhardt, he's a big three hundred forty pounds. I mean, these guys, you know what I mean? If they walked in the door right now, the jolliness walks in two minutes before the body gets and then when they leave, they still shaking. Two minutes after they meet, Larry Allen was the first guy I saw that was three hundred and forty pounds.

Built on solid, on solid, like a lot like a wide receiver. Three hundred forty pounds. We played basketball in off season one day and Larry Allen took over.

Larry, I dropped the ball off the lower level, took one step, one step, three hundred and thirty pounds went off in dunk the ball do when he don't I swear, I swear to you all this true story he don't the ball the whole damn goal fell on him.

It fell down.

He had a room on his neck leave here and it is more who would want me to do it.

I took the remote.

I got this. You just give me this. You got to go with your training over the complex. We got to get to the complex. I told the people it is one. No, we'll pay for it. We'll pay for it. I need to get him over here. You just call us that.

Everything. I mean, I was so blown away with his talent. Now you're seeing that and all a lot of linemen, Tyron Smith, all these guys look like three hundred forty pounds, DKA mid-cap. Think about it when I play, you had the big guy catch a ball, an intermediary and then you had a small fast got to go deep.

D.K. Metcalf is an amalgamation of all of it. He's the big guy.

That is the fast dot. That's how athletics and that's how it's grown.

It's been phenomenal. Do think is off the chain.

Yeah. Right now, best receiver in the NFL. We watch it because I was at the combine, you know, him and Antonio Brown. We were all talking when they were coming out at the combine. Right. And these two guys, come on, it's a game. I mean, everybody's sleeping on us. They're sleeping on us. So what do you mean? You know, sleep well before she was in this dress.

OK, OK. And then and then you start a bit, guys. Even at the combine they were talking about why they don't transition in and out of breaks. Good enough to be there to pay off and all of that stuff.

But they went to the right place that brought them along the right way. He came back here spending time with Russell Wilson. You know, Russell, I interviewed him. He's talking about all the things that he talked about with Dick as they worked out during Colvert in the off season. Geomagic being mentored by Russell Wilson. Yeah.

Don't get any better than that. Don't get any better than that. And Russell said the kid's only twenty two years old. Russell was like he looked like a gremlin, happy, like he's only twenty two extended.

Michael, I've got some here. I'm I'll be playing. I'm going to go put up Mr. Peyton Manning type numbers. No more beast mode. This is my mom. And that's why they're saying up let Ross Cook because he has a chef that is working with him now. DKA yeah. Yeah.

So, so great job by you. But the job that you're doing.

Yeah. What's up with the you I mean you guys are never going to be back Miami. Like what's going on.

Well can't you fix this. Yeah. You know what I mean. Listen, I don't know if because I say this I'm happy to see where they are right now, but when they played against Clemson, you saw the difference.

You're good. There's a difference between good and great in elite, in elite. And right now, Clemson is elite. Miami is is is leaving good. Getting towards a great football team. I mean, they're doing some good things right now. But getting back to what we were I mean, the record is still intact. We have 58 straight home wins only I would think that maybe Alabama, somebody's getting eclipsed that by now.

But but no, it's still a record. So it says it speaks to what we did at that time. And I just think it is something to try to accomplish yet again.

Your cowboys are going through it, trying to accomplish it again once you let it go. It's hard to put it all back together, even though I think they're training now finally in the right.

This is pretty much the NFL Network can never let you go, because every time you leave some place, it goes to shit.

Right. But you know what? It's good, right?

I need you talking to them. I need to talk to you. I need you in my next negotiation. Yes. Just be like look at you.

Look at the you look at the cowboys you really want to do this in.

And when I play for Miami in the 80s, they were the team of the 80s when I played for Miami in the 90s, they were a team who I played for Dallas in the 90s.

They were the team of the 90s to retire.

My guy always says that they'll the PR for for the Dallas Cowboys, he said. One constant in both of those were my quarterback. Now, I hope the NFL Network hears that.

And our next negotiation you can help me with. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Michael, you're obviously a very competitive guy. You're talking about playing basketball with Larry Allen earlier. And just like, you know, being physical all the time. Was there what was up with your bullshit soft foul calls in the longest yard?

Hmm. It's it's irritated a lot of us watching that movie. That's a good question. You're going to play Sandler who who's like five foot eight.

You're calling him for like his elbow is being too sharp.

And and, you know, it's a great movie. I love and I love that they play it all the time. They play the movie all the time. It's it's always on because they send with 79 cent chicks they call residuals. I'm like a nine year old and doing a movie. What's so great about when they first called me to do that guy? My favorite movie, my friend, one of my favorite movies too long ago with Burt Reynolds Bridgland.

Yeah. So I was like, man, I don't want it. I don't know if we should touch this. I don't know, we should touch it, but but I thought they did a great job with it. One of the things he did, he let me do.

I told him, I said, Adam, you know, I was reading the script. I said, this doesn't really sound like me. I said, what you have. You don't sound like me. I tell you what, Michael, you rewrite it. He said he make sure if it's within a joke like baby back, I have to keep that in there because it will be robot baby back, you know, they play with. So I had to keep that part in the.

But but but he said I'll let you. You write what you need to write, keeping it around the same area. He said, he said and if it sounds good, we'll use it. If it doesn't make sure you know what we wrote in it. And he said to me, but understand this. You're not getting any writing credit if you use your own stuff and you're not getting any more money if you use your home stuff.

So, so, so he didn't let me let me write and use my own stuff. And even in that basketball scene that you're talking about, I kept saying, how how hard do you want me to go? I real. He said, go on. He said, I want to make it as real as possible. So I was like, OK, I can hit you and beat you up a little bit. He said, Yeah. I said, it's still vocalese clear.

I said, OK, let's do this. And so we did have fun shooting that scene.

Can we talk about some of your tweets? Because you got some good tweets. You tweet, you tweet from the heart.

Let's talk about this one. The that the one from January 2014. All caps, man. When we played in that cold weather, we was cold. Right.

Now, get this. I speak for a living. I speak for a living. I know it's we weren't cold, but no, that's not even the funny part. It's just like you're basically implying that it was horrible.

It's not as cold anymore. It's like, yes, weather's gotten warmer, which I guess you could say. Let me tell you how this all happened.

And this was my ignorance, too. Right? Right. Because I was back then, I had just started tweeting and messing with people.

Right. And it was during games and and and somebody was saying stuff. And I if I was so I was tweeting back at them literally on purpose like that, because if you notice, I said something else, but that one didn't carry over like this.

I was saying like, boy, damn boy, showiest hitting hard, not Shirwa hitting those guys who are hitting hard. So he is hitting hard, you know, because I was laughing everybody.

I mean, like, you can't talk like this. And I was just laughing at putting more stuff out there, never knowing that this is going to live forever. Yeah. I was so ignorant. What was. Was that data 2014, that's when I first started, I didn't know. Yeah, it will be in 2020 that has more Ritwik than anything I've ever seen in my life. But is it true to me? Is it true? Was it were you cold back then when it was cold?

It's OK if we're playing in cold weather, it's cold.

Oh yeah. Yeah.

Messing with people, you know, but it's so funny. And now all the people that see it now, they do say, wow, what a dummy who writes like this, you know what I mean? They don't know.

The gist of it was around us having some fun with people on Twitter during the football game that we were watching. And it was a cold football. Well, I love that one.

And whenever there is a cold game, it becomes appropriate. And then the other one was and everybody agrees over time, it's a cold game. The other one is great. Just take you said this is more recent. You said since I'm not a beer drinker, maybe it's just me, but I believe the Corona beer should not be running their commercials at this time. Sorry, I want to hear how a corona gets its lime. Well, the coronavirus is getting lives.

Yeah. And I was serious with that, even though we joked about it, I thought. Just let's pull back right now. Yeah, you know it well, and it's what caught me. I was watching some some broadcasts and they were talking about how many lives coronaviruses had taken. And then the next thing out of that was a commercial about NASA and it had nothing to do with anything.

I understand. I understand that one had nothing to do with the other. But as we always talk about in this business, the optics didn't look good to optics.

You know, I was going I'm I'm feeling something emotional here about losing people to this and.

I don't know, maybe maybe we should just talk about his covid-19 and help Corona beer out, but coming off coronaviruses just took two hundred and three hundred thousand lives and then I got a Corona beer commercial coming.

All right. After that talk about Corona gets his line. I was just I just thought the optics of this what wasn't good? And it was. Yeah. So I tweeted that that was I like to say the timing was just a little strange.

I think that's what it comes down to. One of my favorite appearances that you've ever had on television was back in twenty eighteen when you debated the great Stephen A. Smith on first take about the Dallas Cowboys. I think it was before a Titans Cowboys game, maybe outside the game. And he was like doing his thing, wearing his big cowboy hat. I don't think I've ever seen a sweatier human being in my life. I saw him on that set.

Did you was that real sweat when you were yelling at Stephen Smith or did you like splash water on your face before him?

No, no, no. For some reason. Then I had him on my podcast. You know, I swear to you, I had him on the podcast and I was sitting there talking to is something about him. You know, Stephen is a great friend of mine. We both started over at Fox Sports Net with Best Damn Sports Show. You know, we were working that show together way back in the day. And he's a great friend of mine.

So we just get into these heavy debate. We don't just do this on TV. I mean, you know, the other day. Yes, Sunday when I'm on, he's tweeting.

What, like what garbage are you talking about on TV right now about the Cowboys, you know, so so even when we talk personally.

We're still in those heavy debates, and when I had them on my podcast, I said I said, I swear I saw this TV on again. And as I'm sitting there, all people, I started sweating again.

For some reason, this joker just makes me sweat. It's not like I'm nervous. I do TV right five times a week, you know, for me. But for some reason, this joke gets under my skin and makes me sweat. But I love them. We have we have great fun men and bless the little guys really to be talking about sport, talking and doing the things that we do and being able to call it a job.

Yeah. Are you joking up each other? Like when I come home some time and I come home and people are asking you to do this?

I was like, oh, you mean like I'm in New York on Monday and Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or whatever to Thursday Night Football game is Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I got to be in L.A. I'm only home on Tuesday night. Right. And Sunday night. And you guys have want me to go to Israel, do this? I've been working all week. You know what they say to me? You know, work people watching football games and talk.

Yeah. You see those. Yes. So.

So but it is it is work.

And we're blessed to have no opportunity to call it a job.

Yeah, you're right. And you have a podcast which just came out what it was like a month ago, the Michael Irvin podcast, Zippy. But you're right, like when we're sitting here on Sunday, we watch 12 hours of football and then talk. And it's I'm tired, but then I have to be like, wait, I'm tired, but I'm also living the dream.

Yeah, right, right, right, right.

But get this now is it is. And let me help you with Tyler. I get more tired at this than I did at plane and let me let me explain it, which was just fine, which is fascinating here.

Think about it like I could play a game. You play a game, play Arizona to earn 10 yards in that game.

I remember Lorenzo lit the first four and warm ups while playing the Cardinals and Cardinals, the Cardinals and this guy Lorenzo.

My goal, my goal would be you.

OK, I was done. Thanks for waking me up. Thanks for waking me up today. Right. For a second play the game. I got eighty seven yards. I end up with two hundred and ten yards in that game. Kill this guy. Kill this guy. I go home. I should be exhausted after that date. But I can't sleep. My mind is racing. I'm thinking about the play that I should have me to play to got away, forget two hundred and ten yards, three touchdowns.

I should have had three hundred yards and a touchdown in my mind races all night.

That's why after game, most guys do a lot of drinking because their mind is racing all night about what went on in the game.

We should have done this. We could have done it. We could. We could. Then you can't rest. Your mind is racing. Your body is exhausted, but your mind is racing. So you're having a few drinks to try to not go to sleep.

Just pass out. Just pass out. But in this. When you're exhausted, you're exhausted.

Here in the mud, in the body, when the body is exhausted, the mind can feel ready, when the mind is exhausted, is shut, that its right is shut down.

And I said, wow, that's that's interesting. I mean, I get I'm on shut down sometimes after a long sun and I never going to shut down after a long game on Sunday.

Yeah. Yeah. No, it's a good point. It's a good point. The media guys out there that not only harder it's harder to watch podcast. Yeah, it is. To play sports. I agree with that. Yeah. I totally agree. That's a great point.

My body is exhausted at the end of the day because we eat like buffalo wings and just one slumped over in a chair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's harder to podcast and to play in the NFL.

Players have great powers.

We have our bodies are just attacking themselves.

Yeah. On Sunday I just say I'm helping people understand how the body work. So you said, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.

I see that as somebody that hasn't played in the NFL since, you know. I mean, you think you're a Hall of Famer. You've done both. So it makes sense. Physical exhaustion.

Yes, physical exhaustion.

But but mental exhaustion is it is more exhausting. Yeah. Is that like. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Before we let you go, I had a little birdie told me that you had a thing with white tee shot. Like some white flight shots. What's that about? Yeah, I just learned about Whitey's whitey shots because, you know, I'm a vodka drinker. You know, you drink vodka cranberry, and every time I'm from any place, I would always get guys, always I would make you a big black guy.

You drink it a little soft drink like, yeah, that's what I drink. I'm I have a vodka cranberry.

So you always want to have shots and they always want to do tequila. And I can't do that stuff man. So so my boy, one of my boys friend of mine, he was he was telling me about that. He was telling me, man, I take green tea. And I said, what is green tea means? Explain to me green tea. And he said, well, this is the shot called a whitey. It's a green tea with vodka.

I'm like, oh, OK. So now I have something, you know, people I'm at dinner, you buy you a shot. I don't want to kill, but you can get me a white tea. So now a white tea has become has become my shot to drink. I just I love Petruchio to drink it.

That's safe because yeah. If you stay up just rippin vodka or rippin tequila, two or three of those and you're going to have a bad night. White tea, it's like a third of a drink for one and you still look like your party and I can still do some functioning the next day.

You know, it's funny as a comedian, I love comedy comedian. He was talking about tequila. He said you can tell how your date is going to go by, what the girl orders. And it's a funny comedy. I forgot who it was.

He said she ordered the glass of wine. You may be sitting in here talking about a family down the road. So wait, let me talk about where you want to do getting married. He said she orders a beer. Don't maybe talk to some sports. You might have something right there. You know, it's the orders to kill you.

Just turn around, say, yeah, I'm in bed at night because to keep the orders, the key, you're in there at night. And I think that's. I guess in my experience, that is proven to be because there's a fireball, just get ready to pay the 200 dollar Uber surcharge for cleaning the cab out later. Tequila is the party start, right?

Yeah, right. Tequila. Tequila is the the story. All right.

So my last question for you, Michael, has been great. Final question brought to you by Cross Country Mortgage, America's crazy good mortgage company. Go to seek Melon's dot com slash take to learn more about your future home buying experience or refinancing needs. Equal housing opportunity.

The current cowboys will end where we started. So what is your read on the players basically calling out the coaching staff and is that fair or foul? Like from your perspective, do you think Mike McCarthy is in trouble? Do you think it's fair that the players are saying, hey, this system doesn't really work for us, this defense isn't working? Where do you land on that?

Obviously, and we don't know the depth of what transpired prior to that getting out. You know what? If these guys are going to and I know. I do know. I know some of it. I know some of these guys have gone to coaches and tried to make these situations better by talking to them.

And they got rid of some people that were talking. They were talking about the issues that were going on on the football team. So, so, so, so now you get people saying, well, that's out of bounds for these guys to go to the media. Not if they've exhausted all other means. And I know Mike McCarthy has come out and said, you know, I'm open to a policy.

Your door can be open and you can let people come in and spit words. But did you really listen and did you adjust anything?

So having an open door policy is not enough. You got to have an open door, open ear and an open mind with an open heart to really make hay on those things and say, OK, listen, I'm willing to listen to you argue about how we talk about people leaking it to the press by stopping this. This is part of the business. This has been going on forever. We have insiders because people get information that nobody else supposed to have.

That's why we pay them. So they get information and you guys are leaking stuff from the inside. So stop talking about the process, what happened, and talk about the process of how to fix what happened. And then you'll be on the right.

Yeah, that's a good point. Those are really good points. Well, what do you think they do to follow up on that real quick? Are they going to try to stick with Andy Dalton after seeing what they've seen from him? Are they going to go to to denounce Gucci tanuki? Are they going out?

I think they're going to bring somebody else and I will be stealing that, buddy. Yeah, go, go. Team you like Nuzzi? I will steal that.

I think they're going to have to if he's saving this protocol, they'll go back with Andy Doll. I mean, that's why they brought him in. You not want me to say anything about the guy that he's walking by the camera?

I mean, I know what you're not saying. He was running out.

Yeah, no, we just can't keep well, the body without we say he's got a very small bladder.

He needs to drain secondary explosions. Yes, I understand.

I have a small bladder, too. I want to sue the NFL for that because all the people like me suing concussions and all of that, I told people that they made me take so many drug tests and I had to hold my teeth so much because I peed early and I couldn't take a drug test. It would be, you know, considered a positive that I believe I destroyed my life, sued them for that.

You know, I think you have I think you have a case you would you like to see somebody and you'd be like, I can't I can't finish peeing because I know that I might have to have some for later.

You would stop it. It doesn't affect me that way. It's just right now, you know, like I used to be able to hold it and wait and wait and wait and I must have done something now. Oh, my God. And maybe when I got to go to bathroom, it's look out.

I'm ready.

But you know, the way you don't put your hands in the air, you try to squeeze down on it. It makes it nothing. And then you get in there and you let out water and it's everywhere. It's like, so.

So I think they just want my bladder. Man with all tessman. I want some compensation for that. Yes.

All right. Well, we'll be your legal team for that. But, Michael, this has been awesome. We appreciate everyone. Go listen to the MIP podcast, the Michael Irvin podcast. Really appreciate it, man. Your recurring guests now see to come back on whenever we asked when the Cowboys have their next implosion and everyone's laughing about him, we'll have you on to laugh in your face about it.

OK, well, I'll see you next month. Yes, yes. Yes. Oh, yes. Yes, I think so much, man.

See it. Thanks, guys.

Appreciate it, guys. Keep doing what you're doing, guys. Any time you guys had no one by your name and you look up something. I like to talk on my podcast. I had no let me die because I said I was going to bring somebody else on, but I watched the game last Sunday and I said to myself, OK, I'm going to bring downloaded the game. I said, I'm bringing Darryl Johnson on not to break down and analyze the Cowboys, but this is to do the autopsy on the Cowboys.

You break down and analyze that. There is a lot you do autopsy on that that is dead. And that right there seems like it is dead. Yeah, but keep doing what you guys do, man, and keep telling the story. So are the guys like you can hear and hopefully inspire them to do great things. Keep walking your journey. Guys, thanks so much. Appreciate it.

All right, guys, thanks a lot for that.

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OK, let's finish up with the little guys on ChiX. Henry, what do you got.

Hey guys, my 35 year old boyfriend keeps buying sneakers.

Is this a sub Hank in our darling Jake, my boyfriend watched a lot of HDTV. I used to catch him with it on sometimes and he'd immediately change it. But now he just watches with no shame multiple hours of the day. I feel like this is a little odd for guys to do. What are your thoughts? That means he's probably a handyman, so that's. Yeah.

So like, yeah, I think he's he's trying to get more involved in things going on around the house. Like all that's going to do is he's going to if you watch TV, you're going to try and do something. Yeah. Yeah.

Well you could also just watch HDTV TV all day like I've done. I watch HDTV.

I'd be like, all right, let's fucking knock a wall down or something.

Yeah. So there's a danger that he's either going to try to do something awesome for you or he's going to try to do something really fuck up the entire house while trying to do it. Yeah.

So maybe ask him to like try his hand redesigning a closet before you have him do anything like in the bathroom or those.

I was going to say just install Badday. Yes, there are some shows that are just pretty much one hundred percent. We're going to put a bidet into this person's house. So when they shit it's better.

They're great at like marathon watches. I feel like that's the best HDTV. You get sucked in.

I always like it at the end when they do the shots of the before and after. And then it's just one of that swipes into the new room. To me, that's like almost as sexy as a time lapse, huh?

My boyfriend thinks it's weird. I have a list of baby names on the note section of my phone that I've had for years and add to it whenever I think of another good name. Yep. Is this weird and are there any guys out there that keep a list of names to.

Yeah, totally. I keep a list of names just like whatever athletes they like.

Yeah. It's pretty much athletes and then maybe your own dad. That's, that's as far as our creativity goes on. That one the. Yes.

That is a little weird to have like a list just rocking around the list.

It's not that it's weird, it's just probably very intimidating to be like, oh, we got this planned already.

It's less weird to have that list than to have a list of every baby that you've met. I think that would be that would be strange. No, I'm just saying that would be strange.

But it a cool maybe this isn't really a question is more his names. Alice she had a great, great bow tie in her hair.

Hey, pimped. My boyfriend always wants to come on my forehead and take its thumb and spread it like around like woo fossa fake.

But it's fake but hilarious. We've heard this before. Yeah, but hilarious. Who wrote. I heard it but the lion fake but hilarious.

My boyfriend is literally the apple of my eye. I love him with my whole heart. Since this pandemic I lost my job and he's been keeping us afloat financially. She spelled financial wrong.

Oh, once I get another income I obviously going to pay him back. In the meantime, how do I show extra appreciation for everything he's doing for us.

Hmm. A sweet. That is sweet. That's really nice. Make him some pancakes. Oh that's a good one.

Pancakes. Just if you get up before him at all, just do like one thing every day before he gets up and he'll think that you've been up for hours. Yeah. Make him. Holy shit. She's amazing. Make him coffee every morning. That would be if you just hand him a mug of coffee before he goes to work, it's like, oh my God, this is incredible.

You say, Billy, be respectful, but where are you going to say is doing the laundry and they know what it's like folding vacuum laundry sandwiches.

They don't nag him when he's watching football.

You know, chicks shit. Let him play video games with his boy. Yeah, you're about to say that, Billy. I'd like I'd like you to apologize, Billy. We should say, Billy, like life advice. We're key to a great Akito. A great marriage is letting your husband play the box with his boys.

No, I make a mistake, B.J. once a month. So he's dead. Well, he's in the Gullo I could really open minded person. You are. You are actually. Billy's actually just been reading like the dialogue from the Daniels area.

Is it stupid when, like, you know, like when chicks don't suck, you know, shut up when they watching the game with the way they say is like you get something and it's like I really like this, like maybe like coffee.

I don't know that much.

But like if someone like put like made you like an espresso or some shit, like you're like, I don't like this like just like you say girl, this girl always goes like coffee and stuff and then there's like, oh I made you guys like girl girl.

Why was this coffee tastes good. Yeah.

Kind of fucking girl coffee anyway. Anyway, back to women.

Hey party boys especially titans. Hey big cat. I'm in my mid twenties lot. I recently came to the realization that I am not the intellectual I grew up thinking I was.

I honor roll student because meaning guys in grad school makes me feel dumb and hopelessly blond. But I also know I'm not looking for a guy who's only interested in superficial things. I'm stuck somewhere in between. So do you guys have any advice on where to find mid twenty somethings who are also Inbetweeners a.k.a. due to aren't trying to be the smartest but also aren't loitering at the local drive thru the bar?

I mean, go to a bar? Yeah, I'd say so.

I would say it's not the drive through the guys who are driving through the local drive thru, that's like one step above, just hanging out next to it. Trigo a coin in their pocket trade schools that's got like the Pipefitters Union. Those guys those guys are Khatun.

Yeah, they're fucking. I wish I had a skills like that. Honestly, I feel like I like if I could redo everything, I just have like a really sick skill.

If you watch enough TV, it's basically the same thing. Yeah. Trade schools, not bad. Community colleges just hang out at a bar.

All right, last one. Big cat my boyfriend won't ever splurge for. Actually, you know what?

Just wear a part of my take sweatshirt seriously. Like, I feel like we I feel like the majority of our listeners are as average as it gets.

Yeah. So then suck their dick and. Yeah.

Well what I mean. Yeah that's perfect.

True self identify with like wonderly football sweatshirt. I presume when I get home talk to me, I'll let you know that you don't want to let you play video games and give you blowjobs though in the Coolac.

I'm a lot more than that for people out there. The lifts as well into sports science. Hey, science big cat.

My boyfriend won't ever splurge for himself in a night out no matter the occasion. He always just orders some basic chicken entree. At first I felt bad, but now it's just knowing our anniversary. We go to a fancy place. I order steak and shrimp combo. He orders the house chicken. The cheapest thing on the menu I offer to pay to encourage him to order something more special occasion like. But he doesn't. Most of the time he doesn't let me pay.

But even when he does, he just gets one of the cheapest things on the menu. Yeah, I ask him why and express my frustration. He says things like it's what I like and I'm a simple guy, but clearly he would want more money. I mean, don't get me wrong, I know it's good to have significant other without expensive taste, but it makes me feel like I can't buy expensive things. I can eat chicken at home whenever I want people go out, they get more glamorous things right.

Am I being crazy? What should I do?

It's tough because I have always lived my life of never be the guy who orders the most expensive thing on the menu. Like the second most expensive thing.

Yes. So you just need to get him a little bit higher up there. It sounds like he's you're going to like a steak restaurant. He's like, hey, do you guys have chicken fingers?

That sounds like what he's doing. So you've got to find a happy medium, right? I think just teach him how to say chicken in French.

Tell him to order it. Pull.

Yeah, it's your restaurant. And then it seems like he's a grown up. I do.

You guys do the same thing. You ever order like Demoustier. I know. I'm always like, yeah, the move is for work trip.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

When on vacation then obviously he's not going to spend that much money. But if it's coming out of our pocket then yeah I know vacations. I know it's second.

Second most expensive is the correct move. Yes. Unless like if it's a rare occasion where there's like some big baller next to you and he or she is like, you have to. Try this. Well, somebody says you've got to try, but you can also do it if someone else gets the most expensive thing you can do. I'll have what he or she is having that way. You didn't actually order. You just jumped on, which I actually don't like.

I think that's a lame move. Pick your own food. But if it's the number one choice, the most expensive, you can do it. That or just tell them, like bring your own coupon. Got a half price on it. Yeah. You say he's cheating.

He's paying for multiple dates. Oh, he's budgeting. I like that bill. I hate to break it to you. Damn. I don't even think about that. You're right. Or you're out of habit. You're well. Yeah probably drugs. Yeah. But maybe both nodding off. It's he's cheating on you with his dealer. He fell asleep in his bowl of soup. All right. Numbers in fact. Eighteen thirty five kangaroos can't jump back.

Twenty five. Eight neither can Frogh. Eight eight kangaroos actually have huge surprise to that video of the kangaroos.

Definitely look like floating a. I'm a feminist, Ayoade, almost right up there, one sixty. I feel like we've done 61.

Yeah, we're never going to get that box is crazy. How are we never going to get it? We'll just tweet me numbers all day and it's never happened.

All right. Oh, nice. You got the whole thing. All right. We'll see everyone Friday. We got a great guest coming on Friday. Great guests, old time friend. Love you guys.

Justiceship, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo. She's choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo drinking the wine. I don't care that. I like some red, like some whites and Rosemary Sprink after me, but you better get it too early. Shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo. She's she's just she's she's.