
Paul Bissonnette, NFL Christmas Day And The Bears New Low, Week 17 Picks And Preview + New Years Resolutions
Pardon My Take- 99 views
- 27 Dec 2024
The Bears hit a new low on a stand alone primetime game (00:00:00-00:09:26). We talk Christmas NFL and the Chiefs wrap up the 1 seed while the Ravens keep rolling (00:09:26-00:37:20). Week 17 picks and preview including our New Years Resolutions in place of the Titans/Jags game (00:37:20-01:37:38). TD Parlay and fantasy Fuccbois (01:37:38-01:44:57). Our good friend Paul Bissonnette joins the show to talk about his 1 on 7 with the Irish Travelers, hockey season, glass bang kid, and the Chiclets lives show in Chicago on Sunday (01:44:57-02:26:40). We finish with Fyre fest of the week (02:26:40-02:35:29).You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take
Hey, Pardon My Take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's Pardon My Take, we have our good friend Paul Bissenet on the show talking about his fight with the Irish Travelers. Maybe a little preview of the NHL preview, which we're not ready to do yet, but he does get us ready for some hockey. He took us around the league. Yeah, around the league. Great interview with him. He's the best. We're going to talk some football. We have week 17, Picks and Preview. The bears played on a standalone game. It was horrific. We're going to talk a little Christmas Day games, maybe a little NBA as well. And it's all brought to you by our friends at DraftKings. Draftkings has a special offer in honor of college football playoff's head to the DraftKings Sportsbook app and opt in. Place $10 or more on any college football playoff parlay of at least plus 400 odds. 100 listeners will have a shot at receiving a $1,000 bonus bet for the College Football National Championship. Go check it out and opt in today on the DraftKings Sportsbook app.
It is 100 listeners will have a shot at receiving a $1,000 bonus bet for the College Football National Championship. Go check it out and opt in today on the DraftKings Sportsbook app.
Gambling problem? Call 1-800-Gambler. In New York, call 877-8 Hope & Y or text Hope & Y 467-369. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg. Org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Budeau Casino and Resort in Kansas, 21 and over. Age varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. No purchase necessary. Valid DraftKings sportsbook account required. One entry per person. Bonus bet only valid on the College Football National Championship Game ends 1:9, 2025 at 11:59 PM Eastern. See official rules, responsible gaming resources, and free method of entry at sportsbook. Draftkings. Com/promos.
Okay, let's go.
Hey, football guy.
Martina. A-w-h.
Martins, my dad. Yeah. Martins, Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by DraftKings. Go right now to DraftKings. Place $10 or more on any college football playoff parlay of at least plus 400 odds, and 100 listeners will have a shot at receiving a $1,000 bonus bet for the College Football National Championship. Go check it out and opt in today on the DraftKings Sportsbook app. Today is Friday, December 27th, and I just want to apologize to America for what they had to watch with the bears on their final primetime game of the year, the final Thursday night football game of the year. Holy shit was it horrific? 6:00 to 3:00, Seahawks win. I just want this season to be over so, so badly. It's such a complete disaster and mess, and it feels, again, like there's no way out. I'm still going to stay optimistic about Caleb, but he was bad. The whole team's bad. Defense was good. Defense actually, I thought the defense was going to give up a million yards after the first drive, and then they didn't. Yeah, Brian Polls did an interview before the game and said that some of the slow starts or some of the things that weren't fixed in training camp.
So he's talking about he's blaming training camp in week 17. Fire this whole fucking organization of the Sun. I'm so sick of it. I apologize again from the bottom of my heart. That is some of the worst football. It's just a perfect fitting end to not only the bears playing standalone games, but Thursday Night Football. The only thing I'm worried about is like, Kirk Herb Street, our good friend, he's going to get even more aggro after having to watch that. And he's going to be in just a sour, sour mood next week after having to watch that. So I apologize to everyone. It was a horrific game. They're a horrific organization. They're a complete joke. George McCasky should feel shame. He won't feel shame. Fans rightfully were booing. Fans also got Thomas Brown, who can't figure out a clock to save his life. I think he might have been behind the Detroit collapse on Thanksgiving to go for it on fourth and 5 with 2:15 left. I was like, Fuck, he just punted. I don't even care. What does it matter? But it's This is the dumbest organization ever, and I apologize to everyone. Also, the Seahawks are bad.
Can we just say that the Seahawks are really bad as well? Because 6-3 is not a game you should be in with the bears.
Yeah, you shouldn't feel good about yourself if you're the Seahawks, for sure. It It's mean what Roger Goodell keeps doing to my good friend Big Cat and making them play primetime games, right? When you think you're done, Oh, no, we got another bear's primetime game. It's meaner what they're doing to Big Cat than what he did to Hank and Tom braided, the Patriots. Roger Goodell is a bigger dick head for making Big Cat be exposed to the bears in primetime all these times this year.
Then deflate 8 sanctions. Yep, I'll say. I mean, next year, the schedule will come out and they'll do it again. They'll just be like, Fuck it, I'll do it again.
So Big Cat, there's some coaching search news for the bears.
This is the other part of this.
Yeah, let's talk about it. So Ben Johnson is still like, You're going to interview Ben Johnson. He's in front Yeah, he's intrigued by Caleb Williams' balls. They whistle, and he likes that. Pete Carroll has also thrown his hat into the ring, as he did with the Jets, but he wouldn't mind coaching the bears, apparently. Or maybe it was his agent saying that to drum up interest. I don't know. It depends on which side you fall on in the Schefter-Floreo dispute.
Yeah. So this was news, I think, on Christmas morning that Pete Carroll would like a job. Everyone wants a head coaching job in the NFL. These are the reports that why don't you just put everyone's name? Have a list. Have a huge list. Hey, listen, Ben McAdoo wants a job. Matt Patricia wants a head coaching job. Rex Ryan, Ron Rivera, Pete Carroll. Just go down the whole list of guys that want a head coaching job in the NFL because they all want a job because they're the best jobs in the world in terms of pay and the height of your profession. As for Pete Carroll, he's a very good coach. He's 73 years old. And guess what? Pete Carroll is exactly what the bears will do. They would do that where they'll just be like, You know what? We need someone stable to ride the ship, to be a professional in these in Hallis Hall, instead of being like, Hey, why don't we try to just pay Ben Johnson $20 million and be like, Hey, yeah, you know what? Ben Johnson might not work out, but at least we tried to get the best possible hire out there instead of being like, Oh, this guy wants a Super Bowl a decade ago?
Cool. Let's bring him in. That will be fun. He's 73 fucking three years old.
It's John Fox all over again.
John Fox all over again. At least Pete Carroll won a Super Bowl.
Yeah, I think there's a difference between John Fox and Pete Carroll. He's got a little bit more energy to him. But yeah, it's a very safe hire for them to do. The only safer hire in their mind, in their fucked up mind, would probably be Ron Rivera because the ties back to the '85 bears. He was a defensive coordinator there for a long time. Did you see that article? It was in the New York Times or The Athletic. It said, The bears need a coach who holds players accountable. Look no further than Ron Rivera.
Again, I like Ron Rivera. He's in front of the show. Great guy. But this is my point that I was just saying, every single one of these guys wants this job because you get paid a shitload of money to coach an NFL team. So that doesn't mean... It would just be so bears to go hire Pete Carroll. That's what they would do. They would do it, and then they'd be like, Listen, this guy is stability, and we need someone who knows how to win in a culture. He's 73 years old. Go fucking give Ben Johnson every last dollar in your bank account, George McCasky. And guess what? If Ben Johnson turns out to be a bad coach, I can't be mad that they at least tried. You know what I mean? They went and tried to get the number one guy out there. Wouldn't you guys say he's the number... Mike Vrabel, obviously, is also a number one guy out there, but go get the number one guy.
I would say the safest guy is Mike Vrabel.
Right. Well, no, Pete Carroll will be the safest in terms of But Pete Carroll won't have a two-win season.
He's going to be a good head coach. That's almost a guarantee. He might not drive the price tag that Ben Johnson is driving right now because he's going to have a crazy bidding war for his services. But I feel like if you're going to try to save on price, just get Vrabel. He's going to be a great coach.
Yeah, I love Mike Vrabel. If Mike Vrabel is the coach of the bears, I'll be very happy. I want them to once go and get the number one guy, the guy that everyone's like, Holy shit, Ben Johnson. It probably won't happen. I'll say it almost definitely won't happen, but at least go try. Don't say fucking Pete Carroll. I just want to get to the playoff, so I don't have to think about the bears. They're not worth anything. They should sell the team. You know what the McCasky should do? They should sell the team for $100, what their family bought the team for, and be like, You know what? We did such a bad job. We're going to sell it for $100.
Do a lottery. You've been watching Yellowstone?
Someone gets to win the bears.
Yeah. Sell it to a Native American tribe for what they stole it for.
I like that. Yes. I have not been watching Yellowstone, but I'm in. Okay, should we talk some Western State game, some actual football that actually matters. The Chiefs, 15 and 1, clenched the one seed. They now have 24 days off. I don't care what... People can poke holes in the Chiefs and be like, They're not impressive because they haven't scored over 30 points, and they've had a couple of close calls. They're going to win the Super Bowl again. Just accept it. If you don't accept it, I hope it doesn't happen. I want to see the Bills win the Super Bowl. I want to see a new team get to the Super Bowl that hasn't been to the Super Bowl in a long time. You have to say in your head, what's going to end up happening is the Chiefs now with the one seed, their second round game is going to be a team that they will kill, and then they will play one game to get to the Super Bowl. They will have one tough game to get to the Super Bowl, and it will be at Arrowhead, and they deserve it because they're the best team in football right now, 15 and one.
But just think about it in your head, who they're going to have to play in their first playoff game is going to be the Texans or the Steelers or the Broncos or the Chargers, one of those teams, and they're going to fucking demolish them. So you can't even do the rest It's the first rust because they're going to get a tune-up game, and then they just have to beat the Bills or the Ravens at home, and they'll be in the Super Bowl. And then it's Patrick Holmes in the Super Bowl.
That's exactly it. It's going to be probably the Texans or the Steelers in the first round, two teams that they've already beaten this year. They decided they whipped the shit out of the Steelers in that second half. They beat the Texans pretty convincingly, so they're going to have to play one of those two teams at Arrowhead, and then they're going to play, in all likelihood, the Bills or the Ravens, but to get it at home. So congratulations to Chiefs. You guys did it. You've won almost all your games, even though there were a lot of close ones. It's the Chiefs. And I'm still impressed by the Chiefs because their offense is looking good, actually good. Patrick Mahomes is throwing the ball in under a second. They're getting the ball out of his hands. The offense looks alive. The running game looks pretty good. It's not even frustrating to me because, yeah, I would ultimately like to see another team, a team that maybe hasn't won in a long time, win a Super Bowl. But at the same time, they're so good. It's like the Steph Curry effect where you're like, it's still entertaining to watch greatness at this level.
So congrats to the Chiefs. I watched the Chiefsaholic documentary today. Have you guys seen that yet?
No, I haven't. I need to.
I recommend it. We show up in there for about three seconds. It's Billy asking if he can go hunt down Chief Zaholic when he skipped bail, and us saying, yes, please go hunt him down. Also, the Hard Factor guys are in there. Robbie Fox is in there for about a quarter of a somehow. That part didn't make any sense. But yeah, good documentary. Chief Zaholic is going to be very happy in this person sells somewhere. They're just inevitable. They are. They're just really, really fucking good.
We've said this before, but if you are someone who is sitting there being like, The Chiefs aren't that good. They're lucky to be 15 and one. I can't stress enough how stupid that sounds because they are just the best coach team with the best quarterback, and it might not look pretty, but when they If you make a mistake against the Chiefs, the way they're set up and the guys that they have, they will always capitalize, and every single mistake is magnified by that much because you have Patrick Mahomes and Andy Reid and Chris Jones on the other side. They didn't even play against the Steelers. They're just really good at football. And to discredit them is silly at this point.
And oh, yeah, they got Hollywood Brown now.
Yeah. And Xavier Worther, who we talked about, is starting to work his way in. He's going to be a A big, big factor in the playoffs.
And a pretty rested, healthy Travis Kelsi. And oh, yeah, their coach is literally Santa Claus. So good luck with that.
It rocks. As for the Stealers, I'm so happy that I didn't always go all the way in on the Stealers. I always was one foot in, one foot out because that team is a fraud. They just did the same thing that they've done every single year, where they win more games than you expect. Then at the end of the season, they start to fall off a cliff, and they're limping into the playoffs here after losing to the Eagles, the Ravens, and the Chiefs, who are all very good teams. If you ask me, are the Stealers better than 20 teams in the NFL? Yeah, they are, but they're nowhere near the top five teams in the NFL, and that's what you judge it on, especially in a town like Pittsburgh. They're just not to be taken seriously in the AFC playoffs.
Yeah. I think they can beat the Texans.
But I mean, the Texans are bad, too.
Texans aren't looking so good, but I think they can beat the Texans. They might just be right outside that Chiefs, Ravens, bills. They're not serious. If they're not, it doesn't mean that they're a bad team. I think that they're a good team, actually.
They're not going to win. They're not good. They're not to be taken seriously. They're not playing for a Super Bowl.
Correct.
Yeah, they're just not. They're not playing. There's no world where they're going to win three playoff games in January.
Yeah. It's still a cool Russ Wilson story.
I think. What do you do with him now?
I think you just let him hang around.
You resign him?
I think you wait to see if he comes to you and asks you for a contract.
You just hope it's an on auto renew?
Yeah. At that current price? Yeah, you just wait them out. Maybe just do that. Maybe just send them an email. Congratulations. Your contract with the Pittsburgh Steelers has auto renewed for the next 12 months.
The same price at $1 million.
Yeah. I don't think that you pay him a shitload of money, but make him an insulting offer and see how insult he is at it.
I do feel bad for... Oh, yeah, the Steelers also mean I was just texting this. They have an issue on defense because basically it was like, Kam Hayward, T. J. Watt, I think Patrick Queen. They all have been alluding to there's one guy who's just not doing their job. It seems like people are thinking this might be Minka, but I don't know. But Kam Hayward said, When 10 guys do their job, one guy doesn't, we are screwed. And there's been these weird things, quotes the last three weeks, that it feels like there's a big problem on the defensive side in that locker room, and someone's not pulling their weight. Tomlin is a guy who can figure it out. But I also... Stealers fans, I feel bad for because most of the NFL looks at the Stealers and they're like, I want that, never going under 500. Mike Tomlin, I think, is still a very good coach. But the Stealers fans and the city of Pittsburgh, they are one of those franchises that judges on Super Bowl. So I can say I want what the Stealers have, but then the Stealers are like, Hey, we haven't won a playoff game in seven years.
This is bullshit. And I think it was the fourth time in the past six years, the Stealers have lost three consecutive games in December. So that is just what they've been doing. So I I feel bad for Steelers fans because for the majority of the NFL, we're jealous of what you have. But Steelers fans are like, No, this is not Steelers football. We are not a serious contender.
They have been dealing with it, though. Yeah, they're not happy with it. Steelers fans aren't happy with it, but the organization is okay with it. They have to be.
That's the model. I don't know what... I just feel bad for Steelers fans because they're like... If you're a Steelers fan and you complain to a lot of people in the outside world, they're like, Dude, shut up. You guys never go under 500. But their standard is different. So I understand their complaints.
And it's definitely Minka. That's the guy he's talking about. Yeah, it's definitely Minka. If you saw the most recent, their last two games, he's just completely freelancing when he comes in and try to tackle and run support. He'll be in the wrong channel, and then it'll be a 50-yard run, and it's all because he took the wrong angle on it.
And they're not even like... That was such a Mike Tomlin spot. On Christmas Day, Chiefs don't want to have to go there. Chiefs don't... All they got to do is win one of their last two games, Underdog at home for Mike Tomlin, and they got absolutely worked. It wasn't really a competitive game.
No. At the end of the first half, I thought it was going to be competitive because they put together a nice little drive, and you thought maybe, but then second half was just all Chiefs. Yeah.
And then for the other game, that was a shit-kicking. What was the final score? 31 to 2?
Two. Not a scouragame, right?
Not a scouragame. The Ravens absolutely killed the Texans. The Texans are in a bad, bad spot. Let's talk about the Texans real quick, and then I want to talk about Lamar and the Ravens. C. J. Stroud has regressed. I know there's a lot of things around him that are not going well. Two out of his top three wide receivers got hurt. His offensive line is a joke, but he's regressed. I don't know what else to say. He was anointed, and we did it, too. We were just some of that talk about being like, he's so good and his contract's so cheap. He has not been good this year.
Who would you rather have, CJ Sprout or Bryce Young? I ask again.
Redraft.
No, Definitely C. J. Stroud, but they're a sad offense to watch right now. Makes him look like he was going to get into the end zone. And then once he got stopped at the one, it felt like nothing at all went the Texans way. You're probably not looking forward very much to that opening round playoff game if you're the Texans. No. It's like you would rather just try to lick your wounds and be like, Okay, let's regroup. Try to get people healthy if we can. They couldn't do anything with Derek Henry, couldn't do anything with Lamar. Also, Derek Henry, I don't know how we missed this. We haven't talked about this. Derek Henry cut his hair.
Yeah, he did a couple of weeks ago, after the bye week.
Yeah. I don't know if it was a haircut or not, but he turned the giant ass braid into cornrows. So you can no longer tackle Derrick Henry. That was his one surefire way to get him down, just grab that big clump of hair and jerk his neck backwards. That's a championship mentality, by the way, because he's been growing that out for probably 10 And he's like, I'm going to change it for this playoff run. I feel like that's a good vibe. His head's in the game. But they couldn't do anything with Lamar who just passed Michael Vick's record.
41 fewer games, by the way.
Yeah, it's insane. The defense couldn't do anything at all against him. Also, shout out to Netflix. Shout out to Netflix. The score bug was awesome.
Score bug was cool.
It felt like it was classic.
Minus the fact that they just took away a Stealers timeout to start the game. That confused the fuck out of me. The game hadn't kicked off, and the Stealers had two timeouts. But other than that, it was a good broadcast. But yeah, the Christmas Day solidified what we already knew, but it was really crystallized that the AFC is the Chiefs, the Bills, the Ravens. That's it. There's no one else. Those are the three teams, and watching them duke it out. And this is why the Chiefs getting the one seat is so important, because the Bills and the Ravens are going to have to play and then play the Chiefs. But the Ravens are playing great ball, and Lamar is out of his mind. He said on the 48-yard countdown run, he said he was just jogging. He was 21.25 miles per hour, and Lamar Jackson has 41 games fewer than Michael Vick's all-time record. He also has the second-highest passer rating in a single NFL season this year. So 2011 was Aaron Rodgers, 122.5. Lamar this year is 121.6. He's been out of control.
You see that after the game, some news broke about Josh Allen's hand. He's been playing with a broken left hand all season. Then people were saying, Oh, is Josh doing some PR work here because Lamar had such a good game? I wish they could both win MVP. I want them to be co-MVPs like there were... There's Payton Manning and Steve McNair, right?
Yeah.
That was a messed up-time to be alive.
2004?
I don't care. Yeah, that sounds about right. But Yeah. Lamar seems like this game was a step towards maybe an MVP for him.
I just wish we could find out who was going to win MVP before they played the playoffs because then I would bet on the other side.
Yeah.
That's it. Well,what did you say, Hey?
Beyoncé.
Oh, didn't watch.
Your thoughts?
I was in Lego Hell in this game. I was in Lego Hell. I just want to say that I did not watch the Beyoncé halftime show.
I mean, they did this. They They basically did a Super Bowl halftime show. It was a spectacle. Impressive.
I watched with the sound off. I thought it was pretty good.
There's her views. I saw people were mad about it online, so she probably did an okay job.
Was there any Satanic imagery in this one?
Yeah, there was some Satanic imagery. There were some people talking about Jay-Z and Ditty. That means she did a good job, I guess. If you If people watch music, a halftime music show, and then take to... What's the app called, PFT?
The Everything app?
Yeah. They take to the Everything app, and they talk about how America because eroding and our country is going to shit off of a 10-minute musical performance at a halftime football game, that means they probably did a good job.
Yeah, I would agree. As somebody who watched it with the sound off, I think at one point she did that Texas Hold'em song, the one where it's like down, down, down. That's a great song. It probably sounded good if you listened to it.
There's another note from the halftime show. They were all wearing cowboy's gear.
What?
Yeah, her album is called Cowboy Carter.
But it was the same colors as the... It was the same color as the Dallas Cowboy.
You know what it was? It was probably Goodell sending his smoke signal that the Cowboys are going a triple header next year on Christmas Day after what LeBron said.
It was in Texas.
Yeah.
But the Cowboys weren't in the game, and they were wearing stuff that said Cowboy Carter.
This is a Philly complaint, if I've ever heard one. This is a Philly complaint. No.
The album, I was not the only one that said that. Well, yeah.
Was it all the other Philly people? Did you know that your dad all sitting in your living room?
Did you know until just now that her album was called Cowboy Carter?
No, I did not.
But it didn't- Max is definitely... He's like, There were multiple people in my household who were pissed about this cowboy's gear they were wearing.
Why did it have to be that color?
Yeah, Max.
It was...
Max, if they had the Eagles playing at a halftime show, you think... Actually, yeah, Cowboys fans would be pissed about that.
See, Max, I can appreciate this complaint. This is a complaint more my wavelength than being the, say, Titanic imagery and all that shit. That shit's always over my head, but just a pissed off, way too full, Max, with his broken foot, probably leaking farts out of his ass being like, What the fuck are the cowboys gear on?
Also may not exactly be the cowboy's color, but it was the cowboy's font.
The font was the same.
No, it was whatever that Houston blue is, their uniform.
Battle Blue.
It was a lot of white, wasn't it?
It was a lot of white uniforms?
Cowboys were white.
How many games do you guys think we're getting next year on Christmas after what LeBron said? I think we get six.
No, they won't do a full slate. They'll do three.
I think, but Kadele might just be like, You know what? Fuck you, LeBron.
9 AM football. Nfl on Christmas is the only thing that matters. Only sport that matters.
Yeah. No, Christmas is the NBA's day. I like how he said that after the game, like he knew what the ratings were already. Yeah. Just because he felt good about how he played on Christmas.
In LeBron, listen, I know that Christmas has historically been the NBA's day.
Historically, it's been Jesus's day.
It's been Jesus's day. But I'm saying in the sports world, it has been the NBA's day. Lebron, I don't know if you knew this, but the NFL, whatever they want, they're going take. And you can't say shit about it because I watched... I didn't watch a second of... Because that was the other thing, the Fuck You by the NFL is being like, We're doing it on Netflix, so you can't even flip back and forth. Yeah.
I watched- You I got it wrong out of the app. There's no channel changing.
Basically, my NBA watching on Christmas Day was literally just the sandwich of football. I watched the first quarter of the Spurs and Knicks game, and I watched the fourth quarter of the Warriors There's Lakers game. It was just when football wasn't on, I turned on the basketball.
I was at a party and I got schooled by two middle schoolers. The first thing I got schooled by a middle school girl who told me all these stats about Travis Kelsey and how great he is that I didn't even know. I was like, Fuck, you really know football because she's a Taylor Swift fan. Then there was another middle school guy that right when the NBA games kicked off, he goes, Can we please change a channel off the NBA? This product is unwatchable. And I was like, Yeah, you guys know ball.
Yeah. The Lakers-Warriors game was great. Now, so Max and Hank, you guys went up against each other. You fought on the text chain where it was just... You guys were just congratulating each other back and forth for what felt like a half hour. Any thoughts on the game?
Hank I'll let you start.
Max, I'll kick it to you.
No, you can go ahead on this one.
Congrats. Congrats.
Yes, Sixers are back. Everyone knows the NBA starts on Christmas. The Sixers are one and oh in the NBA season this year, the Celtics are 0-1. That's the only way that you can really look at it, and that's just a fact.
All right. Are you back out of the Cooper Flag business?
Out of Cooper Flag. Officially out on Cooper Flag.
Eleven wins on Christmas. You got one more than Then you told us you were going to get.
We also said that if the Sixers beat the Celtics on Christmas, that counts as 10 wins in itself.
Wow.
That was part of the stipulation.
Is Jola okay?
Yeah.
He played great. He tripped over a Jola unbeat in Bryson DeChambeau. Don't put any ropes near those guys.
I'm just going to ignore that. That was a nothing thing that Twitter got excited about for no reason. He's down on the ground for a long time. One thing that is relevant is Caleb Martin might be the Celtic killer.
That might be the difference. I hate that guy.
I hate that guy. Caleb Martin, he has been horrendous this year, and all of a sudden shows up on Christmas Day, goes seven of nine from three and just buries every single shot against the seas. He's the Celtic killer. He's going to be the difference maker this year. We'll always say to Al Horford, I don't understand why he plays so well against the Sixers every single time.
Yeah, I mean, listen, it was a good win for the Sixers. Obviously, they're not that good of a team. I wouldn't say it was a Championship DVD starting win, but it is like when they're in the play-in game in April, they'll probably have to run some video to start that game, and it will I'll be start with the Christmas game. So that's little victories, and I'm happy for Max. Congrats.
Hank, you're so mad because you're so mad. You just gave them life.
There are still six games under 500.
They're one game ahead of their progress report, which was 10 wins on Christmas.
Yeah, it sucks Jerem McCain's off for the season because then I'd be really worried. But Yeah. I mean, if you're counting on Caleb Martin to black out and hit every shot every game, good luck with that. That's not a winning for the world.
I guess the Celtics, he does. I guess the Celtics, he cooks the Celtics. He's the Celtic killer.
We'll see in the playoffs, I guess, if you guys make it.
I like that, go Hank. It's the play-in-game hype video for the-Yeah.
Eight and three in their past eleven. Sixers are eight and three in their past eleven.
Two words for you, Max. Mac McClung.
Do it. Call him up.
Do it.
I don't even know if he's still in the organization, to be honest with you. How did that name just come to your-Okay, Okay, so at this same Christmas party, I was talking to the world's number one Mac McClung fan, probably even more so than his parents.
And by the end of it, I'd watched all the highlights. I was like, It is bullshit that he's not in the league. The Sixers should bring him back.
He's on the Osiola magic.
I'm like visualizing you sitting at the kids table for some reason during all these discussions.
Oh, no.
It was a podcast meme from the basement?
Yeah, it was three kids sitting on the couch. Yeah.
Bring him back. Bring him back, Max. I made a promise to a child.
Oh, man. All right.
Jason Tatum will just forever be able to get away with push-offs until the end of time. It's incredible. Every single time, every single time he shoots a three, he just completely pushes off to create separation every time, and then he whines that he got fouled. Jason Tatum is just as much of a whiner as Joel Embiid. I will stand on that Will Jason Tatum, push off, whiner.
Okay, so the Celtic Sixers game had 5.1 million viewers. The Ravens Texans game, again, what was the score of that? 31 to 2?
31 to 2.
They had Beyoncé.
Really? 3 million viewers. Yeah. The only thing I didn't really love about the broadcast was how it seemed like, I don't know what the rules are, but they had people from every channel. It was like the Avengers that they brought where it's like they have hosts of people from ESPN, NFL Network, Amazon. They mixed it all together, and they're like, Here's our studio. Then they had Netflix Rules Analyst, Jean Sterritor. I was like, That's not right. He's not Netflix Rules Analyst. I don't know what the rules are, but they can just pick anybody off.
Shout out CM Punk, who went on before the game and was like, Sell the team. George Malkowski, you're a piece of shit. I like that. But yeah, you're right. It was the Avengers. It was like, wait, RG3 and Mina Kimes. Who else was... Oh, Manteo?
Manteo from NFL Network was on there. Drew Breeze. Was he on there?
Yeah, I think he was. I'm surprised.
I was waiting for a jump scare cut to Tony Dungy to frighten everybody.
Yeah. Jj Watts did a good job on the first game. It was both the Eagles.
Yeah.
Calling the games. But yeah, the It was good. Listen, I'll watch football 100 times out of 100 times over NBA. I still love the NBA playoffs. That fourth quarter of the Lakers' Warriors was awesome because that was a throwback. Steph hitting that three, and then Austin Reeves. Terrible defense. Austin Reeves went right to the cup, but that was an awesome game. I had a lot of fun watching that.
Good job, NBA.
Good job, NBA. But yeah, I wouldn't pick a fight with Roger Goodell because I seriously think the Cowboys might to play a quadruple header on Christmas Day next year.
What would be the ideal Christmas Day matchup for the NFL?
If you don't think the Chiefs and the Bills are going to play? No, it's going to be Chiefs and Bills, and then it might be Cowboys, eagles. Roger Goodell is going to drop the hammer on the NBA with the matchups because it's also a Thursday game. So it won't be as weird with the Wednesday stuff. He's going to drop the hammer on the NBA.
What about Aaron Rodgers comes back, Jets at Packers?
He'll be the Vikings quarterback next year, probably.
Vikings at Packers.
No, but it's going... If I had to It's going to be Ravens. Sorry, it's going to be Bill's Chiefs. It might even be Ravens' Bangles, and then Cowboys' Eagles or Cowboys' Lions. It's going to be awesome. The triple header that Roger Goodell, he's going to drop his nutsack on Adam Silver's face.
And bet all the away teams because if the games are on Christmas, you don't think that the away teams have a big advantage on that?
Oh, yeah. It was my under theory that is no longer existent, but it worked for a decade on NBA Under's.
I think it's a little bit different even with the NFL because the road teams, they don't have to worry about having a big meal, Christmas Eve, Christmas morning. They don't It's like the opposite of the baby bump. When you're a home team and you have your parents in town that you're hosting, you actually play lethargic. Having relatives in town is a detriment to your game.
What did we have last year?
Christmas. Was it Raiders Chiefs?
Nfl.
Eagles played the Giants.
49ers played.
Eagles played the Giants. The Raiders won. The eagles did win. They were home. And then the Ravens won. So two and one road teams.
Yeah. Eagles almost blew that game, though.
They were-Well, they blew every game last year.
True.
Very good point. Hank, can you set a reminder for Christmas next year, the most important thing is to bet on the road teams.
Yeah, it's sad. My NBA Under's. We had a hell of a run. It's just they shoot too many threes now. It was eight years in a row where it was a sound investment, where it was Just every single NBA, every single Christmas day, it would go two and one Under's for the first three games or three and oh. Bear minimum, two and one, because they would just all be like, I just ate a big breakfast. I opened presents to my kids. I didn't do shoot around. And now I'm here playing an NBA game.
Because you got to think that the road team celebrate when they get back home, right?
Yeah, big time.
They don't do it early.
Big time. Okay. Good show, boys. We kick it to ourselves for some week 17. Pick some preview. Make sure you listen to our really in-depth Jaguars/Titans preview, and then we will see you on Monday. Okay, before we get to the weekend preview, we are brought to you by our friends at Game Time, the exclusive ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. You know how much we love Game Time now with their brand new Game Time Picks feature. They're making it even easier to get to a game. Game Time Picks filters out the fluff to show you only incredible deals on great seats, so you don't have to waste time searching through thousands of tickets. Plus, if you're trying to see the Oregon Ducks and the Rose Bowl on New Year's Day, Game Time has an exclusive discount for you. You can get 10% off tickets in the home corners, away corners, and end zones only on GameTime, making their great prices even better. Just select one of these zone deals, and GameTime will choose your seats within the selected zone. Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with Game Time, download the Game Time app, create an account, use code PMT for $20 off your first purchase and get 10% off your Rose Bowl tickets with GameTime.
Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code. Pmt for $20 off. Download the Game Time app today. What time is it? Game Time. We are also brought to you by our friends at the Pop Tarts Bowl, which is tomorrow. If you're listening to this on Friday, you know what I was just thinking about? You guys remember the Pop Tarts mascot that got put into a giant toaster and devoured at last year's Pop Tarts Bowl? The Internet went Well, I just got some insider information that it's happening again this year, but with a new twist that's even wilder this year, three new Pop Tarts masc are joining the party. It will be competing to get toasted and eaten in this year's Pop Tarts Bowl. Yup, it's exactly how it sounds. Three Pop Tarts mascots enter, one gets eaten, and we get to witness it live at the game. To get fans in on the action, Pop Tarts has asked them to vote for which mascot they think will get eaten at the Pop Tarts Bowl for the chance to win a piece of the winning edible mascot in a year's worth of Pop Tarts, toaster's pastries.
No purchase necessary. See poptarts. Com/bull for more details. So mark your calendar because the 2024 Pop Tarts Bowl kicks off December 28th at 3:30 PM Eastern on ABC. Two teams, three edible mascots in a packed camping World Stadium in Orlando. Catch all the crazy good moments. Get a sneak peek of each mascot by following @poptartsus and @poptartsbowl on social and visiting poptarts. Com. Poptarts. Com/bowl. This year, Pop Tarts is bringing more flavor, more fun, and a whole lot of excitement. Don't miss it. And again, go to poptarts. Com/bow. You can get a year's supply of Pop Tarts. I mean, that's incredible. So get excited. It's happening on Saturday, December 28th, the Pop Tarts Bowl is back. Okay, boys. Weekend preview. We've got a lot of games that mean absolutely nothing. We've got a few games that mean a lot. Should we start with Saturday? Saturday, Saturday, Saturday. Hank, there is Saturday football again, just so you know.
I know. The Patriots are playing.
Oh, okay. All right. So he's aware of the Saturday football, so we got that at least covered. Let's start with that game. Chargers at Patriots.
Patriots One for me. I'm in San Diego. It's delightful.
Oh, wow. 10 AM football.
It's a true house divided for Hank. Who are you rooting for? The city of San Diego, but they're the LA Chargers, or the city of New England?
I had to put all my bets in before I left Chicago because they don't have draftings in California. I bet the Patriots, but I'm, as usual, rooting for them to lose.
Okay, so Patriots plus four. Where did you get them at? Overrunners 42 and a half.
Let me check.
You might have got them even better because I think it came down. I think he had some sharp money on it. Did you guys see Jim Harbaugh had a quote this week that was, Sir, we asked if this was your handwriting, He was asked about playing in the cold in Foxborough, and he said, These guys are young, they're healthy, and their heart pumps warm blood. It pumps it from the arteries to the veins to the tributaries to the capillaries throughout their whole body. You just play ball. Now, I might have gotten that in the wrong order there as well, documented, I'm not a doctor.
Yeah, I saw that. That was literally my only note on this game besides Bust Hank's balls for going up against his home city. The only other thing that I really thought about going into this is I'd like to see Stone Smart score a countdown just because he's got a very underrated name.
Oh, well, the Chargers do have the best name in football. Jim Harbor, that was his other one. He said it was one of the great names in football, DiCaprio Booty.
Dicaprio Booty is a pretty fancy football.
Yeah. Dicaprio A poodle.
Yeah. It's a great quote by Harbaugh. I'm not a doctor either, but I'm pretty sure that young guys and old guys, when their hearts beat, it doesn't matter if you're young, it sends the blood through your body. But he's not wrong, young guys do it, too.
Yeah, and also He's not wrong. Old guys, definitely the cold weather bothers them more. That's why everyone moves south when they get older in retirement. Yeah, the only thing I had noted in this game was chargers clinched with a play. They clinched the playoffs with a win. I do think that Drake May has been... This might be Drake May's best game. I'm going to say right now, Hank, because he's flirting with it. He's had some really nice games. He's had some really nice moments. That Bills game, almost taking down the Bills in Buffalo last week. It wouldn't shock me if Drake May just goes nuts in this game because the Chargers defense has been fading a little bit, and you're like, Holy shit, how did the Patriots just beat the Chargers?
Is this going to tell us actually whether or not Drake May is a good quarterback? Because the Chargers defense is very good against bad quarterbacks, and they're not so great against good quarterbacks. This might be a Drake May, which side are you on game?
Yeah, this could be. This could be the litmus test for Drake May, what will happen in this game. So, Hank, you're rooting for Drake May to go off and the Patriots to lose, but also cover.
I I bet the money line, so I'm actually rooting with him to win this game, which I don't know why I did that.
Wow.
I got him plus 195 is plus 185 now.
Okay, that's huge.
Hank, does this have anything to do with you rooting against the Chargers?
No.
Hank would love nothing more than for the Chargers not even to make the playoffs. He would love it because if they make the playoffs, my reasoning on the Chargers' future wasn't completely unsound. It was always get to the playoffs, maybe win a game, and then you can hedge out. So if they don't make the playoffs, Hank can laugh in my face and be like, hungry dog.
No, I also think I've been pretty honest with the Chargers. Like I said, when they won that Thursday night game, they show me something. I did not think that they were a good team. I thought they were fraudulent and that there was a dumb bet. They show me something with that Thursday night game. People can change.
People can't change. The moment of realization on Hank's face when he realized that even his subconscious is a troll when he puts in these types of bets, it's pretty excellent.
Well, that was like, I literally was just firing through. It was a week away. I don't know exactly why I picked the Patriots money line, but I did. Maybe, yeah, maybe it was my subconscious.
The chargers are going to maybe get JK Dobbins back, not probably this week, but his practice window open. That is enormous. But I'll be honest, I obviously would love if the chargers could win a playoff game, but the six and seed in the AFC are just heading for an absolute ass-kicking to either Buffalo or Baltimore.
We probably already talked about this with the Chiefs, or we haven't talked about the Chiefs yet. I get confused when we record these out of order. But the fact of the matter is- It's really not hard.
We were doing a show opening with the Chiefs on Christmas Day in the bears game.
Well, we already talked about it then, so I don't need to say it again. Yeah, we did.
But you also could save it.
No, yeah. We've already talked about it.
That was your point, which was really smart. Yeah, it was really smart what you said.
I agree.
Yeah. Okay.
All right. Broncos at bangles. This game actually means something.
It means a lot.
It means a lot. The The Bengals, though, are probably fucked because the Broncos have to lose out for the Bengals to have a chance. They also need the Colts and the Dolphins to drop a game. Now the Chiefs can rest everyone. It looks like that's not going to happen, but they're going to try win this game, obviously. And Riley Moss should be back. Do you guys know, this was actually courtesy of our friend and future recurring guests, because we have to have him on at some point, Ben Baby. The Cincinnati bangles have not beaten a QB1 this year.
I did not know that.
Yes. The QBs they have beaten are Andy Dalton, Mac Jones. Oh, I guess, was it Deshawn? Deshawn Watson, I guess, would be one of the QB ones. So one. So maybe it's not just QB1s, it's just really bad QBs because Andy Dalton, Mac Jones, Deshawn Watson, Garner Minchou, Cooper Rush, Will Levis, and DTR.
Yeah. So Will Levis is QB1.
Was QB1.
Was QB1. Yeah. And Deshawn Watson was QB1. And there was another one that you mentioned.
Garner, I think was. I misquoted Ben Baby. Oh, sorry. Not He's eating a current QB1. So current QB1, which is fact. But also, if you list all those QBs, they're terrible.
Yeah, pretty bad. I did not realize that.
Kuba Rush is the best one. Kuba Rush is the best quarterback I listed.
You don't think about the bangles that way because they do score such a fuckload of points that you think, oh, it's not just... But their defense is just that bad, where they have to have a bad quarterback that they're going against if they have a chance about scoring that person. I looked up the stats for Burrow and Chase, and I did not realize that bangles, their quarterback, leads the league in passing yards. Their wide receiver one leads the league in reception yards. They also have the number one sack getter in the NFL this year on defense, and they still stick.
Yeah, and they still suck because their pass rush as a whole is bad, which makes you think that Bo'Nicks might have a, Oh, Bo'Nicks is good game. Because Bo'Nicks basically has Bo'Nicks is good games when he has a clean pocket, and then whenever he has a little bit of pressure, it's, Oh, the Denver Bronco's defense is good.
Yeah. We're going to figure out whether or not Lou Annarumo has got a little bit of Greg Williams in him this week. Because with Mahomes being out, would you be surprised if they hit Bo'Nicks a little extra hard?
They hit Mahomes. Yeah. They have to figure out some way to get pressure on them because they can't get pressure. They're 22nd in the league in pressure rate. So they got to figure out something.
If they also need the Broncos to lose the Chiefs next week, what would Greg Williams do? That's what I'm saying. We'll see how old-school Annarumo is.
You don't think Zack Wilson could beat the Chiefs?
Well, it's going to be Carson Wentz, right?
Yeah, but Zack Wilson will be the Broncos backup Yeah.
Anybody can beat Carson Wentz.
Yeah. Maybe Zack Wilson carrying the Broncos to the playoffs. Here's another crazy stat for you. Patrick Sertan this year has allowed a passer rating of 39.1 when targeted. A QB's passer rating would be higher if they threw it in the ground on each pass. 39.6. It's smarter just to throw it into the ground than test Patrick Sertan. And Reilly Moss should be back, which makes a huge difference because the Broncos defense without Reilly Moss, they basically are fucked because they don't have another corner.
Yeah, they're forcing us to learn the names of all the anonymous crush like John Gruden calls them. I think we're up to, what, three now?
Yeah.
Let's just chill at three.
Three is good.
Because it's like a compliment to their defense if you can't name any more than that and you just know that they're fucking awesome.
Yeah. And you don't want to... I mean, Anonymous Crush is a great nickname. If we learn too many, you can't do that nickname anymore.
Yeah. I had several anonymous crushes back in my day.
I want the bangles in the playoffs. I don't think the bangles are going to make the playoffs.
It doesn't look good for him. I was hoping for the Steelers to do their part just because I feel like the playoffs will be that much more chaotic. They might not win, but you can circle that one and be like, That's going to be a fun ass game.
Yeah. Wait, I got to find it because our good friend Mike Florio, go get his book. It might not be free anymore, but you should still buy it. He had one of the dumbest hypotheticals ever. Here it is. Ready? If you're the Chiefs, would you rather have the number one seed, but the bangles make the playoffs, or the number two seed, and the bangles don't make the playoffs?
That's very interesting I'm hypothetical.
I think I'd rather have the buy and home field advantage and not worry about the Cincinnati bangles who can't beat a good quarterback all year.
Yeah. Would you rather play the Bills or the Ravens in round two or the Steelers? Or let's see, I guess it would be the Steelers, the Texans, round two.
Well, I guess his thought process was the Bengals would win their first round game, so then the Chiefs would have to play the in the second round because the receipt.
I don't think that the Steelers would win a first round game. They would make an entertaining game. It would be very fun to watch. But we've seen enough. There's enough body of evidence out there on the bangles this year to know that they're just not that good of a team overall. Well, their offense is electric, but their defense is so fucked that it's beyond hope.
Here are the quarterbacks again. Andy Dalton, Mac Jones, Deshawn Watson, Garner Minchou, Cooper Rush, Will Levis, DTR. Literally, the Cooper Rush is the The one I would take out of all those.
Yeah, I think Cooper Rush might be QB1.
Yeah, you're right. We started that debate last week. People are having the discussion. Is Cooper Rush really the guy in Dallas? Not dad.
You know me, Big Cat. I'm a results Yeah, he's got them.
He's got them playing hard. All right, next game. This is the Saturday night game. Cardinals at Rams, Rams minus six and a half, over under 48. The only note I have from this is the Cardinals are dead. The Rams look like they're going to be in the playoffs. They control their own destiny. I would like to just say to Jonathan Gannon, Shots, Explosives, Pew, Pew, Pew. Treat this game how it should be treated. Treat it like a bowl game, not like Pat Narduzzi, all-time coward move by him in the whatever bowl that was, Toledo versus Pit. Treat it like a bowl game where you have nothing to lose, and just empty the clip. Get Trey McBride a countdown, do trick plays, go for it on fourth down, fake punts. Just empty the clip. Just let them just be loose and just go nuts. I just want to see a coach do that once. Just fucking go crazy. Jeff Oldberg did it, but he did it in the most boring way ever, where the Jets scored nine points in an entire game and never punted. Kyler Murray is the perfect guy to just empty the clip and do a bunch of fuck shit.
Yeah, I'd like to see that. You remember what It happened week two with these teams. It feels like it was forever ago. Week two, the Cardinals won 41 to 10 against the Rams, which seems just absolutely insane right now. But the Rams did not have Puka in that game. I feel like Puka is a wide receiver that gives... I don't know what his war is, how many wins he adds just by starting, but I feel like it's a lot because I feel like everybody in the secondary is thinking, Where's Puka? All the time. He's obviously a dynamic pass catcher and great running with the ball. It's going to be a different game. I feel like it's going to be a shit-pumping, but I do agree with you that you don't have anything to lose. The Cardinals fans are pissed off right now because of the collapse that we've seen the second half of the season. At least give them something exciting. Give them a team that does not give a fuck that will let their balls hang a little bit.
Right. There are a lot of teams that have nothing to play for, but there's a lot of those teams don't even have the ability to do the fuck shit I'm talking about. The Saints don't have anything to play for. They're not going to be able to do anything crazy with Spencer Rattler. The Cardinals still have an offense that could go crazy in nuclear. Just do it. Just whatever crazy play you've always dreamed up that you're like, No, we can't try that. It's too nuts. Do that play on Saturday night. Do it. Just go nuts.
They're not going to have James Connor, though, I don't think, right?
No, I don't think so.
But still- I think they might even be down to their third string running back.
Get Trey McBride five of touch downs so that his season looks like he had a really good season, countdown-wise.
Yeah, they tried to last game. They drew something up for him in the first half. It didn't work out. But yeah, okay. So either do all the fuck shit, all the pew, pew, pew exclusives. Don't let anybody named McFay hear that. Or you just make the entire game plan feed the ball to Trey McBride.
Yes. Yeah. That's one or the other because listen, it's a Saturday night game. We're all going to be watching. The Cardinals have nothing to play for. Let us enjoy something crazy. Give it to us. I'm asking you, Cardinals.
We deserve it. Saturday night football.
Jonathan Gannon, I will forever have loyalty towards you and never say a bad word against you ever again if you go for it on at least three-fourth downs and there's at least three trick plays in this game. You get full pardon I take immunity for life. That's it. We'll never say a bad word against him.
Maybe even citizen of the year.
Citizen of the year. It's up there. Okay. Sunday, Jetset bills, bills minus nine and a half, overruners 46 and a half. Now, the Bills don't have anything to play for, but they do. They have to still get the two seed. They have to win one more game out of the last two. I don't know if you saw, but Josh Allen, he had a quote last week, I believe, It was maybe after the Patriots game where he essentially was like, We're in this weird zone where we know we're not going to get the one seed, so we don't want to show too many things. So he basically was admitting that the game plan is probably going to be a little vanilla. In this game, I don't even know what's... The Jets have a million injuries, Aaron Rodgers' knees hurt, so I don't even know what we're going to get out of the Jets. I don't really have any thoughts other than I'd probably take the under.
That's Yeah, I don't want to speak too much because Brick's definitely listening right now. Also, shout out Brick. I hope he gave you more responsibility last week. Let's get to work, buddy. I think that the Bills definitely do have... They're going to try to play vanilla unless it's close, and then they will... Because they have to get the two seed. Ideally, you would like to be able to use next week to rest up. Correct. This is a game where I wouldn't mind seeing them open up the playbook a little bit if it's even remotely close, just so that they can make sure that But they don't have anything to worry about going to next week.
Also, shout out Jack. We always forget Jack. Jack, Brick's trying to outshine you. You're actually the real GM. We stand with Jack. You just say the word and we'll go against Brick and be team Jack. But we're not trying to divide them.
Wait, so his name is Jack Johnson?
I'm pretty sure, right? I think we looked it up. Brick and Jack.
That's amazing.
Yeah. Memes. Thoughts on this game? This game, I thought it was going to be good, but I check the weather. It's going to rain, so it's going to be bad. Okay. That was some great analysis.
Who does the rain favor, Memes?
The rain favors the Bills. Jets can't play in the rain. But the Bills defense has been playing bad. Jets offense is electric, so it would have been over City, but now it's going to rain, so now it's under.
Over City. Yeah. Nine points last week.
It was windy.
It was windy, and also that first drive.
And the first drive was sick. Yeah. That first drive was so sick. But Joe braided smart, so they're probably just going to run for 300 yards. Yeah, I feel like that's exactly what's going to happen. It's not even going to be James Cook. It's going to be Ty Johnson or whoever and just run it down their throat. We might even see some Mitch.
Yeah, Mims, do you think that when this game kicks off, are you going to be rooting for the Jets?
I'm rooting for no injuries. Okay. Okay. What do you care? No more injuries. You're rooting for health. Olu got hurt last week. I just want no more injuries for people for next year. Can I say something real quick? I agree with you, no more injuries for next year. But I'm of the mindset that next year is so far away that no injury matters. I mean, Tankdel, it came out in his rehab, he might miss all of next year. But in my head, I'm like, No, he'll be fine. Because I just can't even comprehend next year yet. You know what I mean?
A twelve-year recovery, yeah. A twelve-month recovery. That's not a football number.
Yeah, exactly.
Even now, we're seeing what happened with Adrian Peterson's knee. Now that's happening with guys that tear their Achilles, where it's like, Oh, they can be back in eight months.
Whose dog is barking? Is that Mims?
No, that isYeah.
I thought Mims had a dog.
Blake's mad at me. I farted on Blake by accident on the couch earlier, and he stood up and he barked at me, and he left the couch and went and laid down. He won't even look at me now. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I was on an airplane. Bro code.
Bro code. Okay. So Memes' official statement on this game is he thought it would be electric, and then it's going to rain, so it won't. Yeah, now it'll stick.
Okay, great. I'm going to go talk to Blake real quick.
Okay. Okay. Memes. I started watching the Aaron Rodgers documentary. How do you like it? I don't like it, but that's not like... I think it's well done. It's just I don't... I mean, I'm still in the packer stuff, so it's I still hate it. You know what I mean? It's just him telling his side. Yeah. No, I like that part. He's an interesting guy. Yeah, he's an interesting guy. I don't care for Aaron Rodgers highlights in a packer's uniform. It's not my cup of tea. Yeah. Okay. Raiders of Saints, Saints plus one over under 38. The only note I have in this game is I feel like there's a chance the Saints might win because... And there's no insider information. I don't have any insider information on the Saints. I feel like Darren Rizzie probably cried in front of the boys after the shutout.
I think he got embarrassed. Yeah. Yeah. And he did. I think he cried. I would have liked to see him take it out a little bit on the floor after Monday night, give him one of the drive-by handshakes or yell something at him. It seemed very undare and rizy-like that he didn't say anything during that. You're an interim coach, dude. What do you have to lose? Just fucking lay into him. You got embarrassed on Monday night. The fact that he didn't do that, he battled that shit up. So he either took it out on the team or on his family, and he might be looking for a little retribution. But I just think that... I don't know. There's something about the Raiders where they are anti-tanking. I feel like they are trying to win as hard as they can every single game. They're preparing like it's their Super Bowl every week, even though ultimately they would much rather lose.
Yeah. No, they said Antonio pierce was like... I mean, he's coaching for his job, so well, his job is to coach, but he was like, Yeah, I don't care about the number one pick. They did so much damage to their future by winning last week. If they win this game, it's going to be even more damage. But yeah, there's something in my head that I'm just like, I can close my eyes and see it. Darren Rizzie got in front of the team, probably Wednesday morning, and he cried. And he just cried. The guys are like, Man, I can't believe we made Coach cry. They were manly tears, just so we're clear. They weren't like, wimpering tears. They were manly tears like, I love football so much, and what happened on Monday night hurt me to my core. I guess it wouldn't have been Wednesday. It would have been Thursday because Wednesday was Christmas. I think the Saints might come out hot because of the cry.
Yeah. Also, the Seven Fishes probably did something to him. It's true. Maybe Antonio pierce is just fucking Tom braided over one last time. Maybe that's why he's winning these games.
That's Okay. Colts of Giants, Giants plus seven and a half over under his 40. Colts are still alive. They need the Broncos to lose out as well. Everyone's hoping the Broncos lose out. We are on Tebo. Teebo watch for Anthony Richardson, which we mentioned on Sunday. He's at 47.7% completion percentage. Thibault finished an entire season at 46.5. This is a game that's just going to stink. This is going to be one of those... I don't even know the weather. Maybe it will be rainy, but it just feels like you always mention at PFT, sun shining so bright at MetLife Stadium, and this game is going to suck.
Yeah, the sun shining bright as fuck and the temperature being 25 degrees. One of those late December games that's just very depressing to watch. I'm pulling up the weather right now. Oh, no, it's going to be rainy. It's going to be rainy in the '50s and '40s there. That is going to suck. This is going to be a bad game. This This is going to be a really bad game. They should not televise this game.
Yeah.
Give us the updates. And if Anthony Richardson throws or runs a 50-yard run or a 50-yard bomb, then give us a live look at that, Scott Hanson. But yeah, it's going to be stinky. They do have a lot to play for, but did I hear that Anthony Richardson might not play?
Joe Flacko was getting some reps. Okay.
Well, that's what I'm rooting for.
Yeah. I Joe Flacko coming in would be awesome.
Maybe they know that Anthony Richardson is on Tebo watch, so they're like, Let's not leave this up to chance. Let's just get old Joe Flacko in there.
That would be nice. That's why they drafted him because he can play in the rain. Yeah, Yeah. You basically were like, All right, Anthony Richardson, you cleared it. You went seven for 11 last week. We don't have to do the Tebo thing. Let's just get Joe Flacko in, and we'll finish off the season.
Yeah.
This is I know that week 17 and 18 are always tough, but there are just so many bad teams this year. I know the Colts are technically still alive, so I'm not even putting them in the bad team, even though they are a bad team. But the Raiders and Saints, the Giants and Colts, the Titans and Jaguars, some of these games, man. And we're going to watch them all, and they're going to outrate LeBron in his little league, his little basketball league.
No, their ratings are up 84% in the NBA, Big Cat. You see that? Up 84% year over year, and they got smoked by five times by the NFL.
Yeah. Okay. Cowboys and Eagles, Eagles minus seven over under 38 and a half. Max will be there. Max, I saw the saddest tweet of all time earlier today, I believe, although I think it's been updated. This is what it was said, With Jalen Hertz and Kenny Picket banged up, former Eagles QB, Ian Book paid the team a it today. That is gun in the mouth stuff.
Yeah, got to get healthy. There's nothing else really to say. Quarterback room is not looking great. Tana McKee. Tana McKee is underrated ball player, though. I wouldn't hate to see Tana McKee get a shot out there.
Yeah, I think I'm afraid of Tana McKee just based on the fact that. I'm always terrified of a third string quarterback that the hometown absolutely loves. And Tana McKee seems like that guy.
Also, Pug loves Tana McKee, and he's been hiding himself from this Zoom this entire time. And I said Tana McKee, he went off of hiding himself, gave me a fierce nod, and then went right back to hiding himself.
All right, Pug, can you give us a reporting report on Tana McKee? He's been the Eagle's third string.
He lights it up every preseason, and he's just the best kept secret in the NFL.
He's been better than. Hey, you got to look him up. He played at Stanford. If you pull him up, he just looks like a guy who should be doing your taxes. It is not a boy. He looks like the nicest. He is the number one guy who you want to date your daughter because he's just going to... You get him a Peter Millar shirt.
He's got 100 Q-zips.
He's a baller, though. Tanner McKee will always put a coaster down before putting a drink on a wooden table.
Always.tanner Ricky. I'm a fan of Tanner Ricky.
Tanner. Why? Just from preseason?
Yeah. No, he throws a nice spiral.
Okay. Throws a He'd be a spiral.
He beat cancer. Stud.
That's huge. Max, where do you stand on the latest nick Seriani on the field incident where he had to be separated from Zackerts by Big Dom?
Good question. Passionate guy. Passionate guy, fiery guy, fights for his team.
You like it? You like that stuff? Yeah. I feel bad for Big Dom at this point because it's like, nick Siriani is like Kevin Horten. He's getting his mother's words. He's gone off at people, and then he has to have the Rock come in and pick him up and escort him away.
Since I mentioned a bad Florio tweet, I'll give him credit for a good one. He said, nick Siriani gives him the vibes of an Eagles fan that won a contest to coach the team. And that is exactly right. Him getting in a fight with Zack Earth and Big Dom having to break it up. What are we talking about?
At some point, Big Dom has to be like, Jesus Christ, I got to go manage this guy's emotions again?
Big Dom has the hardest job in the world. He literally just is living the meme where it's like big guy goes out to bar and the little friend always gets into shit that the big guy has to get him out of.
Yeah.
I don't know what you're trying to say, but I will say we're talking about- We're defending Big Dom.
Isn't Zack It's an Eagle's legend?
Is there no respect for that?
Why are you even worrying about your basketball team over there? All right, buddy.
I'm just asking questions.
I think what Hank is trying to say is that we love Big Dom so much that at one point, does it become a distraction for Big Dom where now his full-time job is just have a leash on nick Seriani.
Yeah.
He also had to walk CJ Garner Johnson to the locker room the other day. So that was important.
He looks awesome. He He looked awesome. He did.
He looked awesome.
Can we just say that the Eagles should be very thankful for Big Dom? Like, Big Dom, say what you want about it. He earns his paycheck. Imagine what the Eagles would be like without him.
Also, Big Dom's relationship with nick Seriani, he's proving that the old saying, there are no bad dogs, only bad dog owners, is wrong because nick Seriani is a bad dog. Big Dom is not doing anything bad as his dog owner. I don't know what you're trying to say.
He doesn't know what we want to say.
We love Big Dom. I just don't know why nick Seriani is getting in a fight with Zack Hertz. What are we talking about? Good to know.
It's how you treat your champions, your former champions, come into Philly and get trying to beat up by their coach.
He tried to beat him up, Max?
Yeah, he tried to kick his ass. He didn't try to beat him up. Sometimes Italians, just their words get misconstrued by the other guy when he's just trying to have a conversation.
Well, that's not what I heard. I didn't hear that it was misconstrued. Also, put some respect on Julie Hertz's husband's name. That's a goddamn national hero. What I heard was that nick Seriani initiated a Zoom call with Zack Hertz, where he apologized to him via Zoom.
Oh.
If you have to Zoom call someone to apologize, you did something fucked up.
Yeah. Damn. Not even FaceTime. He sent him an email invite for the apology.
Sometimes family members fight. It's Christmas.
It's Christmas.
I apologize.
All right. I feel like the Cowboys are live in this game, even though CDlam is out for the rest of the year. So that's their one awesome player on offense. But Cooper Rush might be their second awesome player on offense.
Cooper Rush might be awesome. Dautil is close to a thousand yards, I think, which is pretty cool for him, I guess. Then there are other wide receivers. Who's the guy that they traded for with the Panthers when they were going all in this trade deadline? Is it Mingo?
Yeah.
So now they got Mingo and Flournoy. Dave Flournoy is a plain receiver for them.
That's going to be sick. Are you No, Max, you have nothing to play for, right? There's nothing. Just get healthy. I guess Saquon Yards is what you're playing for, but you're going to this game. You always want to beat the Cowboys, but are you There's nothing to play for, right?
Technically, we're still playing for the NFC East, but we would just have to win one out of the next two games.
Wait, what? You could not win the NFC East?
They're going to win the NFC East.
But they could not?
If they lose the Cowboys and the Giants.
If the Giants won next week, it would ruin their franchise.
Did you? Yet, Shefti actually had that as a little win-horse moment on NFL Countdown. He's like, Watch out for the Eagles week 18. They're going to try to throw that game so the Giants don't get the one pick and the Giants stay in the cellar.
See, I don't know that Seriani is capable of pulling off that type of mastermind. I think Siriani is more likely to just give Saquon the ball 40 times and have him try to get the record against the Giants.
Did you also see Shaftee got community noted yesterday?
Oh, no. For what?
He reported Jalen Hertz did not practice today when none of the Eagles practiced yesterday on Christmas.
But wait, so he was right, though.
Correct. But he still got community noted.
Jalen Hertz, he did not practice on Wednesday.
I didn't practice either. Could have added me in there.
Yeah, neither did I.
Wow. So you think you just owned Shefti and really community notes just proved it was wrong?
I don't know what you owned. I didn't own anything. I just told you what happened and what I did.
Sounds like you were the one who did the community notes. Yeah, you filled out the community notes.
What I heard is that Jalen Hertz was absent from the team facility on the day when Ian Book paid them a visit, which is actually a good move by Jalen Hertz.
I saw a report that Ian Book was seen in the parking lot dapping up AJ Brown.
Yeah, they're great friends.
Good. I love everyone in the locker room to be friends. They are great I would like everyone in my locker room to be dapping each other up.
No, Max, as an Eagles fan, you still got to hope that you destroy the Cowboys.
Yeah, you got to beat them. Yeah, of course.
Always. Embarrassing.
Especially with you in person. Okay, next up, Panthers at Bucks. Bucks minus eight over under 48 and a half. Did you guys see that Xavier Laguette brought Leftover Raccoon to the locker room from Christmas Day? That rocked.
Nice guy. What a good dude. I love Xavier Laguette. I wish he had caught that pass against Max. But besides that, awesome dude.
Yeah. I think the Panthers are alive in this game. I think they're just full on... The Panthers and the Cowboys are the two teams that stink but are playing actually good ball in the last month and feels like they're just ready to play spoiler.
Yeah. If there's a team that starts out the season, they suck, their playoff chances are over in October, but then they get hot at the end of the year, That's actually a team that they'll have a ton to play for, even though they don't have any playoff hopes or aspirations. They've turned something around, so they're trying... There's going to be a lot of guys that will probably be back next year for the Panthers. They're actually looking at this as a preseason for next year. So I like the Panthers in the points. I don't know if I like them money lined against the Bucks, but I feel like that's a lot of points for this team.
A lot of points.
They're factoring in weeks one through eight in this spread, I think a little bit.
Yeah. Bucks, figure it out. I want to see the Bucks in the playoffs. No offense to the Falcons. I would like to see the Bucks in the playoffs. That's a personal choice of mine. I want to see Baker in the playoffs.
I'll see Bucky in the playoffs.
Yeah. Okay. Titans of Jaguars, Jaguars minus one over under 39 and a half. Do you guys have any New Year's resolutions?
I do. I've got a couple of New Year's resolutions.
Okay. Lay them on me.
I'm going to drink more water again this year. I'm to get a six-pack by the summer, six-pack summer. I'm going to get a couple of new planes and hit the flight simulator back up now that I've got the virtual reality 360.
Hell, yes.Hell yes. That's pretty much it.
I have two.
Oh, let me hear them.
Get a physical. Okay. Go to the dentist.
Okay.
That's good. That's huge. You can do that in the same week.
Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You can do that in 12 months.
Wait, having a New Year's resolution be go to the dentist, that's something that you should do every year. That wasn't the question. Can we skip the couple? It's literally every 12 months.
It's every six months. What are you supposed to?
My actual resolution is to get my drive about 15 yards longer so that Hank will owe me more money.
I love that. I love that. Yeah, tune into the last episode of The Doc. It's out. Go watch it. Are All right. My New Year's resolution is there's a dive bar maybe, I don't know, three blocks from my house that I want to try to become a regular at. Now, I don't really have time to go to the bar, but I'm thinking if I can get there six or seven times next year and just really show face, it's my goal. That's my goal. I'll let you guys know how it goes. Maybe I'll bring you guys once. Maybe become a morning drinker. Just a couple of He drops before work. It's not too far from my son's school.
Yeah, there you go. Then you'll stand out.
All the bar owners will know your name. Like, Oh, there comes Dan.
Yeah, he just dropped his son off at 7:45 in the morning.
Daddy needs to stop by the office real quick and do some paperwork before he drops you off. It's a great move. Being a regular is so fun.
I walk by it all the time. I'm like, damn, I really want to go there. That's my goal. Now, I crushed my goal last year. I looked at my Uber Eats app and I ordered Blizzards 27 times last year. Pretty good. That's a lot. I said I was going to eat more Blizzards. I ate a whole shitload more Blizzards. I think I had two the year before.
I like that.
Yeah. Anyone else got New Year's resolutions for the Titans Jaguars preview?
Yeah, I got two. I would like to lose If I lose a lot of weight, also learn how to make bread. Those two things aren't going to go super hand in hand, but I'm pretty confident that I'm going to be able to do at least one of those.
And I think it's going to be the bread.
You've been talking bread for a while.
Well, no. I brought it up to Chef Donnie a couple of months ago, and now he got super excited, and he's trying to get it sold, and we're trying to do a series out of it. But me and Donnie will be the bread boys in 2025. And I'm going to learn how to make bread, but I'm also going to lose weight.
Yeah, lose weight.
I'm going to learn weight and lose bread.
Okay. You didn't say that you were going to eat more bread. You were going to make it for other people.
True. But part of a trial and error is you got to taste at least some of the bread.
Yeah, but this is just the next step for Max's deli at work. You got to eat. It's all part of it. You get to make your own bread.
Max, what about... What about when people say, Don't trust a skinny chef? How can I get bread from a skinny Max?
No, see, here's the thing. I think that I could still lose 30 pounds, but also be fat. That's where I would like to I want to. I want to get to. I want to get to a point where I lose weight, but am still fat.
Yeah, I think I've lost 15 pounds, and if I typed it into the obesity thing, I'm still obese.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah. That's a goal. That's a goal. That's a crockish.
By the way, I forgot. I'm also going to read a book. I haven't read a book in a decade. I'm going to read a book.
Does listening count?
No. Read. With my two eyes, it might take me the entire year. I'm going to fucking do it. I feel it. This is the year I'm going to read a book. It can't be a movie.
You should read The Art of War.
If it can't be a movie, can I read a Michael Lewis book knowing that eventually it will be a movie?
Yes. Okay.
All right. Cool.
You just want to tell people you read that the book was bad.
Yeah. That's why I've read every Michael Lewis book because they always become movies. I could be like, Oh, yeah. If Moneyball, read that. Big Short, know it. All right, memes, any New Year's resolutions? I'm going to go to a doctor. I don't know which one, but I'm going to go to a doctor, and I'm going to get at least two more TVs.
Okay. I like that.
Fuck yes. Fuck yes. The boys are up. The boys are up. All right. Shane, anything? I think I want to... Try an apple?
Try an apple, try some fruit.
I think I want to go to Italy this year, so hit up Duolingo.
Get a nice Duolingo street going. You're going to bring back a bride, aren't you?
Shane's going to have a kid.
Yeah, he is. Yeah, you are. You're going to have a kid. Yes. Yes, I love it. Shane's going to be walking in and being like, Hey, can you talk to HR? I have an Italian wife and child now. I have to put on health insurance. Like, What, dude? You went there for three days.
We got to get you one of those. You know how the NFL coaches wear the shirts and the hats with the flags on them? We got to get you a Chargers Italy sweatshirt.
Yes, and a little one, a toddler one for your kid. All right, Oh, a glass one.
So you play more NFL Blitz for sure. Fuck. Okay.
Once a day.
Because I play sometimes every other day, but I got to stay committed if I want to be good and cook for myself more.
Oh, okay. We might have the best year of this podcast with all these New Year's resolutions.
Yeah, we're going to be sitting pretty.
We're going to fucking be... I mean, we're going to Max Skinny, breadmaking, Shane and his Italian kid. Mems, all he has to do is go to Target once.
He's got his thing. He's got his thing. Get your blood pressure check in a Target, that's a doctor.
Go to Walmart, get your blood pressure test, and then get your two TVs. Boom, you're done. You're done on January first.
There really should be a doctor's office for guys, where in the same doctor's office, they have the doctor, they've got your dentist, They've got a secondary doctor that does blood work and all that, and maybe a place for lunch.
One of my ideas that I pitched to Qubit is we got to figure out a way to get a dentist on a plane. It's like, you know you're stuck on a plane, you know travel sucks. Just have a dentist do your teeth then. It's a little bit turbulent. I haven't been able to figure that part out, but everything else makes sense. Why aren't we doing more of the shitty things we have to do in life on planes? Imagine getting on a flight and being like, Yeah, this is actually the accountant's flight. They're just going to do everyone's taxes Coast to Coast.
Yeah, it's not a bad idea. They've already got the oxygen mass things that come down, just put nitrous in there, knock it out on the plane.
Right. Any shitty thing you have to do. Imagine if you have to... Oh, yeah, you got to get divorced? Okay, get on this flight to Hawaii. By the time you land, we'll have you divorced. And then you're in Hawaii single.
There should be an airline that has professors that are the stewards and the stewardesses, and they just teach you a college class if you fly in there six times.
Yeah. You can get a diploma.
Pass the bar.
Yeah, pass the bar.
Pass the bar. Teach you Italian if you take four plane flights.
Teach you how to fucking Italian. Yeah. Just figure out a way. Traveling sucks, planes suck. Figure out a way to double it up. All right, that was Titans, Jaguars preview. Dolphins at Browns. Browns plus six and a half over under 39 and a half. I don't fuck. I mean, this is DTR. I'm going to bet against DTR. If he plays, if he starts, I know he's got maybe a calf injury, but I have fated DTAR, I think, in every single one of his starts in the NFL, and I'm going to continue to do so.
Yeah, I read one update from him where I think his direct quote was like, I've got a sore little calf. That didn't really give me a lot of inspiration. Situation. We're probably not going to get Jameis even if we don't get DTR because his shoulder is still banged up. But I saw Jameis eating chicken wings online this week, and the man just needs to be in front of a camera at all times. That's my only note here. This is going to be a poopy game. Dolphins, I guess, still entertaining at times, but yeah, it's going to be bad.
I don't even know. They don't even do the crazy no explosives anymore. So it's going to be a bad game. All right, here's a good game. Packers of Vikings, Vikings plus one over under 48 and a half. This game is going to rock. They flex this game to the afternoon. The Green Bay Packers, this is a hurtful stat for myself and anyone who hates the packers, they have now made the playoffs 13 of the last 16 years, which is the most in the NFL in that time frame. They also, obviously, were the first team to pitch a shutout against the Saints on Monday Night Football. Yeah, I mean, the Vikings are going for the one seed. Have you seen PFT, the Discourse? This is like, NFC North fans are now doing the like, Hey, we got to change the rules because it's not fair that the packers are going to have to go on the road. It's like, Come on, guys. The whole point is division should matter. That's the fun of it. If we get rid of divisions and it's just the four best records, divisions won't fucking matter anymore.
Yeah, and we do have divisions for a reason because it's for the game to have rivals that you play every single year, year in and year out. It's not like they're playing an unbalanced schedule or anything. It will suck for the Vikings if they end up being a great wild card team and get that first wild card spot. That's going to suck to have to go on the road. But that's such as life.
Deal with it. Yeah, for both of them, it would suck. For the packers and the Vikings, no matter what, they're going to both have more wins wins than the team they play in the first round because they will be slotted into the... Obviously, the lions can also get one of those spots, but two out of the three NFC North teams will be the fifth or the sixth seed, and they're going to have to play against a team that did not win as many games as them. But that's just how it works, and I like how it works because divisions matter.
Yeah. Two good quarterbacks, very good quarterbacks in this game. I saw a stat that they're both... I think they're two of the top three quarterbacks against man to man so far this year, and they are two of the five worst, I believe, against zone this year. The Vikings, I know they do a lot of zone blitzing and shit like that. I don't know if they'll be able to get into Jordan, but I feel like Jordan Love does better when he's off his backfoot anyway. So truly, I'm just excited to watch this game. This is going to be a playoff game.
Yeah, this is going to be a great, great game. And like you said, the Vikings, they're still going for that one seed. They play the Lions week 18, and And the packers, I guess you're rooting for the Vikings, PFT, because you can still jump the packers, right?
Yeah, it's still possible that we could jump the packers, but then you start getting into... There's a lot of other stuff that has to shake out, too. So we could jump the packers and get that sixth seed, I believe. But then you'd be looking at maybe playing at the Rams in the first round, which is not... Really, there's no good place to play in the first round. I guess if I If I had to draw it up, I would want to go to Philadelphia and beat the fuck out of Max. So that's what I'm hoping for.
And Max said he'd do it with Kenny. Yeah, he said he'd do it with Kenny. He said he'd fucking beat you with Kenny. He said he actually doesn't want Jalen Hertz to start. He wants to beat you with Kenny.
Listen, I would love. Tana McKee.
You want what you know about Taylor McKee, bitch? All right, last game. Falcons of Commanders, PFT, Commanders minus They're over under 47 and a half. Oh, man, the bears. Fourth and one, and they just... They're so fucking bad. I'm sorry, America. Pft, thoughts on this game.
When they didn't get it, you're ahead of me.
No, they got a false start.
Oh, my God. I am bummed out. I'm bummed out that we're not going to get Kirk Cousins.
Yeah.
I had mentally prepared myself to face Kirk Cousins at home. I don't know what we're going to get with Pennex. I don't think anybody really knows. We had a little bit of a clue last week, but not really. So it's like the unknown that we're going into. I think I like the commanders. Their offense played pretty well last week against a really good Eagles defense. Embarrassed them in the fourth quarter. But I am always afraid to see the commanders in primetime, and I always will be. Those scars run very, very deep where it's just like I'm always thinking in the back of my head, this is about to be the most embarrassing thing ever. But I don't know. I don't know that I truly believe in Michael Pinnett. How can you after one week? There's a chance that he goes out there and just lights us up because our defense, not that great. We've been playing a little bit better with Vladimir. I actually went back and watched the tape, grinded all 22 on Latamor. He didn't play that bad. He had some good plays. He played much, much better than he played.
You did the All-22 on Latamor?
I did the all-22 on Vladimir. He didn't play that bad. He was getting worked. He had a couple of He used...
Again, if you're-Your All-22 is, I feel, broken.
He was getting destroyed.
If you watch ball, if you're exposing yourselves as non-ball knowers right now, because pass interference penalty is not always a bad thing for cornerbacks. It means that they were in position to make a play.
Oh, my God. Bears picked it up. Bears might win this game. Need it. Sorry. We already talked about this. Go, PFT, continue on-You're also ahead of me. You're also ahead of me. You're also on, Latamor. Also known as listening to you because you sound like an idiot, but continue. Oh, here we go.
Max, you don't know ball, Max. You don't talk to somebody that watches ball for a living. They'll tell you that that pass interference penalty is not always that bad.
Keep coping.
Yeah, but that one drive when he basically gave up 107 yards of pass interference, that was bad.
I agree with you, PFT, by the way.
I talked about that on Monday, and I said how bad that was. And then Max said, Well, first of all, you got to say that Jane Daniels threw two interceptions in addition to his five touch-ons. First, you have to say that.
I agree with you, PFT. It's like the quarterbacks, not all interceptions are bad. Pass interference sometimes is not a bad play.
Yeah, it gets penalized. Don't get me wrong, like It's not good that he got called for pass interference, but it also means you can't get called for pass interference if you're five yards away from a guy like Emmanuel Forbes used to be.
There's times when you actually getting called for a pass interference is good because you would have given up a countdown easily.
That is not good. If you were going to give him a countdown, that is bad.
That is bad, but that's good to then get a pass interference instead of a countdown.
Right now, we have a bears fan arguing that interceptions are good for a quarterback and a Washington fan arguing that pass interferences are good for corners. That's just what's going on.
Kael Williams doesn't throw interceptions, so I actually wouldn't mind if he threw a couple more. So I stand by what I said. Yeah, I seriously do. I stand by it.
I stand by what I said to Max. I think it sounds stupid, and it probably is stupid to a strength, but if you talk to ball knowers, real ones out there, they'll be like, Yeah, that's a bad stat to ding a cornerback for. Also, now is probably a good time to mention that Marshawn Latamore might not even play this week.
Oh, no. What happened?
Everyone's dealing with something this time of year. This hamstrung might have player it up. He was grading his insane.
Okay. All right, so you're worried about this game?
Yeah, I'm worried because I I feel like there might be a post-Cousins bump.
It's the fear of the unknown. It's the fear of the unknown.
I feel like the Falcon skill players, when they're not deflecting passes that get intercepted in return for six points, they're probably pretty excited to have somebody that can throw the ball and hit somebody outside the numbers.
Also, you guys went through like that game was... I mean, it was an incredible game against the Eagles. Incredible win, gutsy team.
Yes, but Jaden did throw two interceptions, Big Cat.
That's true, but But off of that divisional game that you didn't expect to win, there might be a little bit of a let down. I don't know. I like the commanders in this game. I'm just for father. That would be why I would... If you want to get scared, there's things you to get scared about.
I don't think Dan Quinn is going to let him get scared like that. I don't think he's going to have him. He's going to have him ready to play, but I'm not like Supreme. We're not a great team right now. We're capable of doing great things, and when everything works for us, we are a great team, but it's nothing that you can count on. I can't bank on beating the Falcons, especially in primedown.
Yeah. Okay. Picks. What are those standings memes? I think we crushed the week 17 preview. When you got to talk about every game, it's tough this time of year, but we did it. Hank, 17.5 points. Me and Big Cat, 16. Pft and Max, 14. Hank just needs one win, and he clenches. He doesn't have to do the punishment. Maximum amount of points for PFT and Max is 18. We're not doing playoffs? Are we doing playoffs?
We didn't last year.
Yeah, that's true. We didn't last year. Nobody was tied.
I think it's a regular... It's normally a regular season thing, right?
It is all regular season. I just wanted to say that because it would piss Hank off because he'd be like, I fucking had to do an hour stand up. This is bullshit. You guys are trying to find a way for me to lose.
Well, this one doesn't even matter. It's like I picked the bad ones to win.
You run away from winning. Basically, it's a two-way race and maybe a four-way race.
It looks like it's going to be me and Max.
Yeah, with Max. Okay, who's up first?PFT is up first.Okay.PFT..
I love that. I'm going to go with the Eagles minus seven. I think they're going to spank the Cowboys.
Spanken.
A spanken?
All right, I'll take the Panthers plus eight.
I will take the New York Jets plus nine and a half.
Packers, Vikings, over 48. I like that.
I am going to take the Giants, Colts, under 40 and a half.
Yeah.
Okay. You do that every time.
Max was in the cave last Sunday being like, You guys fucking made sounds after my pick, and I won. And we're like, Could we make those sounds after every pick you've ever made? He's like, Fuck, I didn't realize that.
I think we told you last week, it's a bad pick, even if it wins. You should know that it's a bad pick.
You could be like, Josh Allen to get one passing, and we'd be like, Oh, gross, dude.
Also, Max, we all suck.
All right, what's your second pick?
But I suck the most. My second pick will be the Rams minus six and a half against the Carlos.
After we just told Jonathan Gana to do some fuck shit?
Dude, the Cardo's beating 41 to 10.
Yeah, he wants immunity for life. Okay, who's up next? Memes? I'm going to take the Lions minus three and a half. I like that pick. I think Dan Campbell basically was like, Yeah, we're not sitting anyone. We're out for revenge. Yeah, it's going to be like that Cowboys game earlier in the I know.
I'm going to take one of the most slept on backup QBs to just go the fuck off. Give me the Eagles, Cowboys, Over 38 and a half.Tanner McKee.Tanner McKee.
Tanner Mickey, going nuts. Okay, I am going to take... I have to do an over-under, and they all suck. Did anyone take the under in the Jets bills? I will take the under in Jets bills, 46 and a half. Thinking maybe we get Mitch in the second half, run out the clock.
That'd be bad. Mitch to Mack.
Yeah. Okay. Pft.
Okay. I'm going to take the Over in Colts Giants.
Oh.
Head-to-head. Head-to-head. I like that pick. Head-to-head, Flacko.
I like that pick a lot.
This is Flacko. He loves the rain. He's a mutter.
Yeah. Okay. We need a TD Parlay brought to you by our friends at DraftKings. We need to win this TD Parlay.
I'm out. I missed mine last week. You did? Yeah, Mike Evans.
Okay. Draftkings every day is game day at DraftKings Sportsbook. Now, through the end of the year, it's extra special. All customers get a special daily promo every single day from Profit Boos, Odds Boos. No sweat bets and more. There's something for everyone. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now and use code take. That's code take. Take advantage of special daily promotions only on DraftKings. The Crown is yours.
Gambling problem? Call 1-800 Gambler, 800-327-5050, or visit gambling helplinema. Org in Massachusetts. In New York, call 877-8 Hope, NY or text Hope & Why, 467-369. Please gamble responsibly. In Connecticut, call 888-789-7777, or visit ccpg. Org, or visit mdgamblinghelp. Org in Maryland. 21 and over in present in most states, 18 and over in Washington, DC, Kentucky, New Hampshire or Wyoming. Offer void in Ontario. Void were prohibited. Eligibility restrictions apply. Terms at sportsbooked@draftkings. Com/promos. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas, one plus promotion per day. Promotion, sport, eligibility, and requirements vary. Ends 12:30.3124, sponsored by DraftKings.
Okay, so it's up to me, Max and PFT. We're going to do afternoons or nights. Let's just start with an easy one. Josh Jacobs.
Okay. I've got Diamy Brown.
Okay.
Plus 370.
Whoa.
But I like them. They look for him in the red zone a lot.
That was decisive. We were two for two on decisive picks.
Bijan will be the third pick, decisive. Wow.
Okay. Decisive. All right. Good picks, boys. Let's do fantasy Fuck Boys before we get to our interview with Paul Bissonet, and then we'll wrap up with Firefest after that. Fantasy Fuck Boys brought to you by BodyArmor. Real hydration, real ingredients, packed with electrolytes, vitamins, and nothing artificial. Bodyarmor's sports drink has great tasting flavors like strawberry banana and blue raspberry. Not only do we hydrate with BodyArmor, but some of the best athletes in the world do as well, like Christian McCaffery, Joe Burrow and Sabrina Ionescu. Get yours today at Walmart or a local grocery store near you.
What's up, boys?
What's up?
What's up?
Johnny Malisanti.
Johnny Malisanti.
My stardom this week is inside voices. My niece is sleeping next door. I don't want to be screaming. I'm going to use my inside voice.
Don't tell anybody. Keep your mouth shut. Don't sing.
Don't say a word.
My sydom is Dead One. Worst fucking Christmas movie I've ever seen. I don't know how they made so much money. Also, Caleb Williams just threw a fucking interception. This team is fucking horrible, dude.
I said I like my guys throwing more interceptions. Yeah, I knew that was going to happen when you said that. Same with me. I knew it, too. They're a joke. They're really bad. My sleeper is mouth tape.
If you want to fall asleep, throw some fucking tape on your mouth. It helps you get a better night's sleep. It does a lot of wonders.
We taped up my friend Billy Bats' mouth one time. Worked real good. Yeah. Hey, what's up, dickheads? It's Leonardo Dabuti, DiCaprio Dabuti. Full names. Remember them all? I'm starting seven fishes this week. What's your guys' favorite fish?Mine's.
Shrimp.mine's what anyone's swimming with them.
Calamari.
Yeah, you love the calamari. You love it for appetizing everything. My sinum is the Boston Celtics. Boston Celtics fucking suck, bro. They fucking suck. What's going on in Boston right now? This team can't win a fucking game. Bad, bad basketball. Coach trying to fight guys at half-court. What the fuck is going on with these clouds?
Fuck you.
My sleeper is cheap flights to Hawaii from Chicago because you can get them for zero dollars if you just climb up into the landing gear, and then you just hold on, and you hope that you get there safe and sound, but you usually die.
So it's RIP to that guy.
Love that. Rip to that guy.
Real great guy. Happy guy. My guy left Chicago, and he was like, I want to go to Maui. What's the best way to get to Maui? I'll just climb up into the landing gear compartment, and then the landing gear crushed him to death, and also was like negative 70 degrees on the flight. I think They did a study, and they said 70 % of people that have tried that move have died. But the 30 %, you get a great deal.
It's a great deal. Great deal. All right, what's up, guys? It's Frankie Pastrami. My stardom this week is Teddy Bridgewater because because he's back and he might win a ring because he's with the Detroit Lions now. Teddy Bridgewater, stand-up guy. Teddy Bigsnaker. Stand-up guy. My sit-up is this week in the calendar because it's no man's week. I don't know where the fuck I am. I don't know what's going on. There's football games all hours. I love that part. But holy shit, do you start a diet? Do you not start a diet? Do you read a book? Do you go to the dentist? You don't do shit. It's just no man's land all week long.
I don't know about you guys, but on Sunday, Well, I thought Christmas was Sunday because there was football on TV. And so I've been referring to Thursday as being Monday and Friday as being Tuesday.
Yeah, all fucked up. It reminds me of when we change our clocks in two weeks. My sleeper is Xavier Laguette because he brought that racoon with him to the locker room. That shit. It actually looked good. It looked like pulled pork.
Yeah, that guy's a gamer.
A gamer. Teddy Bridgewater, by the way, being back is awesome.
It is very cool. I love that. So he just won a state championship coaching his high school team, right? And then he's like, Fuck it. You know what? I'll just come back.
Yeah, it's crazy. Okay, let's- I feel like it's a hire that they're making just because he's a good guy that people like to be around. Yeah, I like that. That's a culture changer. Culture change. Okay, let's get to our interview with Paul Bissenet. Pft, you got a couple quick words before that.
Yes, before we get to our good, our dear friend Paul Bissenet. He's brought to you by Campbell's Chunk Chunky soup. I love Campbell's. It's soup season. We've got some great players out there that are Chunky guys in a good way. They're soup guys. Montez Sweat, Chunky soup guy. Will Anderson Jr, Chunky soup guy. Chop Robinson, delicious sounding name, Chunky soup guy. Jason Kelsi, Chunky soup guy. It's soup season. I'm making soup this week. I got some Pizzole going this week. I got some Italian meatball soup, some wedding soup going this week. It warms you from the inside out. And today's episode, a part of my take It's brought to you by Campbell's Chunky soup. It's the soup that eats like a meal. When you think Chunky, you think of players like Frank Ragnou from the Detroit Lions. But even guys like Trent Williams can't compare it to my go-to, that's Chunky Steak and potato. It's packed with great ingredients to keep me going strong. Chunky takes satisfaction to the max this soup season. You can grab a can of Campbell's Chunky today and get involved. Taste up. It's soup season. Paul Bissen is also brought to you by our dear friends over at Chevy.
Chevy Trucks, the Chevy Silverado, the best truck in the world, the grittiest truck in the world, the hardest working truck, the most luxurious truck also. It's powerful and it's beautiful. It's that time of the season. Teams are in the playoff hunt. Every game counts. Our AWLs know that when it counts, you can count on Chevy Silverado, a dependable partner with strength, capability, and true grit. Whether you're looking for a spacious interior to comfortably get to the game, the functionality of the multiflex tailgate to get the most out of tailgating or the technology to make driving, towing, and parking all easier. Chevy Silverado has got your back. Did you know that Chevy's America's most awarded brand for new vehicle quality over the last three years, according to JD Power? Now is the perfect time to get into Silverado or Silverado HD, our favorite truck, and the official truck of part of my take. They also sponsored the Lowman Trophy. Shout out to Tyler Crow from Boise State. Go to chevy. Com, check out all the great offers, even build your own Silverado, and visit jdpower. Com/awards for more award details. Now...
Okay, we now welcome on a very, very good friend of ours, a recurring guest. It is Dwayne the Rock Johnson. It's Paul Bissonet, The man who has been... I don't really know where to start. You're my hero. I've told you that over and over that you're my hero. You've lived basically every guy's fantasy, non-sexual fantasy in terms of like, Man, if I could be so tough that I could take on seven dudes. Let's start with this. How are you doing overall? And maybe a little background for the people that don't know what we're talking about.
I'm doing fine. I I'm not conkeyed, obviously. I was just on the IR for a couple of weeks there, but I've been getting some good Thai massages recently, and it's been working out the kinks in my neck, so I'm not as fucked up as I was. But for those of you who have no clue what's going on, I went to eat at a family restaurant called Houston's that I normally go to. I go there like three, four, five times a week sometimes when I'm back. And just these drunk Irish travelers, I don't know people who are listening to know what Irish travelers are, basically like modern day gypsies. But they were in there causing a ruckus. They got in the manager's face. They assaulted them, they harassed them. And then finally, I'd seen enough. I go over and I said, Hey, I said, If you guys keep doing that, I'm going to bring in the parking lot. We're going to have issues. And then they just started wing it. So that fight went from inside the restaurant all the way over to the CVS. It was a three minute round, and I was gassed by the end of it.
Took a couple of boot fucks to the head, but all in all, doing good. Doing pretty good, boys.
Took some, gave some Dave Samara is my favorite line. Yeah, you fought seven dudes in a parking lot, and you held your own. Again, you're my hero. You're my hero.
I mean, I want you singing the national anthem at a Rough & Rowdy in which I'm beating the fucking wheels off this Danny Bradley puke. The kid who was caught on video an hour and a half before that altercation, sucker a guy at Ravens Golf Club, and then mozeed on over to Houston's to do the exact same thing to that manager But before he was able to cock his right back and swing, I went over there and then the rest of it ensued. On top of all of what has gone on, now Glassbanger ends up in prison. Yes.
All your foes are down. You're just having an insane run right now.
What's going on right now with the legal proceedings with these guys? I saw one clip of one of the dudes who said, Yeah, I'll try to make it back. And the judge is like, Well, you have to do better than try. Have we got an update on that guy?
He never made it back.
Oh, shocker.
He hired a lawyer named Larry Cazan, a local Scottsdale guy, whose kid Ben Cazan, ended up DMing the Shay Stevens guy who's been doing all the undercover work on behalf of spit and chiclets, Barstool, and then our side of it. It was just some random Chicklets fan who's also a private investigator who has been uncovering all this crazy shit about these Irish travelers, like how they scam all these guys' records in the past, the fact that they have affiliation to these people who who've caused or who have been involved in murders for insurance fraud scams. The list goes on and on and on as to how big of a dirt bag or how big of a dirt bags these guys are. So shout out to Shay Stevens. But that Ben Cazan That kid ended up sending him a DM, basically being like, eat a bag of dicks, fuck you, you're Canadian, because the Shea Stevens kids Canadian. So now we got this slimy lawyer in the mix. And that's why he didn't have to show up, because he hired this big wig lawyer, and he ended up taking the stand as far as his defense.
So I know they dropped three of their charges to enhance them to felonies. So I'm going to end up going after these guys civilly. We're probably going to have to wait till all the legal proceedings from a criminal side going out and about. But I don't even want... I want my hospital bills were covered. I want my physio and all that paid for because my neck still jacked up and I dealt with sessions, but I won't go after him that hard civilly if that Danny Bradley is willing to fight me. So that's basically what I'm going to present to their side saying, I won't ruin your lives if if you end up paying the piper inside of a ring.
You just be a man about it.
Yeah. I feel like you could take them all out one by one, rough and rowdy, just biz versus the Irish. Do it one night only, and then just give them three rounds, and everybody steps up, you beat the fuck out of them, you beat the next guy. But you're such a nice guy. You're willing to say that you just want one of them. You just want one of their scalps.
Danny Bradley was the guy in the lime green golf shirt who you see at Ravens golf club who suckers the employee. He ends up clipping one of the girl waitresses, too. He was the instigator in that one. He was also the instigator who was getting in and putting his hand inside the manager's face, giving her one of these ones and backing them up onto the back bar. That's when I kept turning around in my seat being like, did I smoke a batch of weed here? Am I going fucking crazy? We're at Houston's restaurant, and these nine drunk golfers are getting in these guys' face. And the lime green golf shirt guy was the guy who was the antagonist in both situations. And they're just all scumbag, piece to shit who rip off everyday Americans. Anybody's grandparents who are listening, who live in Texas, they're going around knocking on their door saying that they're going to perform an asphalt jobs. They say, Hey, do half down. If you don't like it, we'll give you all your money back. See you later. Never to be seen again. Go to the next town. After the deposit. These guys are absolute scumbags.
It's a wild, wild story. Obviously, I heard about... Obviously, I heard it, I was very concerned for... Because you hear seven on one. That's scary. A guy could get knocked out and then get kicked in the face. They tried to kick you in the head. Bad shit can happen in a street fight. And when I thought about it, I was like, oh, it's probably just some random college broads or something. But then to find out that they're legitimate criminals, traveling criminals, that go around and do this, you're The whole story is insane.
The way that it unraveled, because the next day I was expecting maybe officers call and say, hey, these guys want to reach out to you about what happened, where we could all just go our own way. And even though they kicked me in the head, it's just like, well, maybe they just had one too many drinks, and this was a one-off, and a horrible mistake they made. And I understand that those types of things happen. But when I end up seeing that other video, that Shay Stevens, who the undercover detective or whatever, the PI, whatever you to call him, he's been getting messages like crazy from people from their town in Fort work, Texas, being like, these guys show up to bars and restaurants, and they'll get so rowdy to where they're going to be... They rip flat screen TVs off the wall. They go and terrorize small businesses. So the exact opposite of basically what Barstool stands for and Dave Portnoy, what he does for small businesses, these people are terrorizing them and then ripping off everyday civilians in order to buy their G wagons or Escalades These guys are cruising around, living life very lavishly by ripping people off with other people's money.
So these guys, they need to pay the Piper this time. We finally got these guys. We got them pinned down and including not only that Danny Bradley kid, but that Sean Daley kid who, I mean, he's got a rap sheet as long as fucking a Santa list, and he ended up having a military ID on him, a fake one, so he could get discounts at hotels restaurants, and then they go do that at these places. And then when he got caught after kicking me in the head, because keep in mind, so at the Raven golf club about an hour and a half, two hours earlier, it had been called in, but they didn't catch them. So they were off and running around town, and apparently they stopped at a Ruth's Chris before they ended up getting to Houston's. So the cops were aware that these guys were out and about. So the minute that Houston's called in and they were like, okay, it's probably the same guys. They were over there in three minutes because by the time the fight ended, some of them had been caught. Some of these guys were able to run away and avoid police.
But the camera operators, there was a camera across the street. They were operating it because they heard the call and they're like, Okay, it moved outside. And then they followed it along. So they were able to identify what the guys were wearing and then call out to the cops being like, This is what these guys are wearing. Then a few of them were caught a few miles down the road, which included that Sean Daly kid with a red shirt who boot fucked me in the head three, four times. At one point, his foot, when he missed me, ended up getting to probably the height of his shoulders. If I would have gotten knocked out, they would have kept boot-fucking their head.
They would have maybe killed you. That's the craziest part. These guys are the absolute scum of the Earth, pieces of shit. The other part about it is they do this all around, and they fight people, and they take advantage of people, and they are able to do it because they do it to anonymous regular civilians. They just happen to do it to someone who has a huge following that's tremendously well liked across the internet, and now they fucked up because now the world knows about them.
So I feel like it's my duty at this point. I don't care about getting kicked in the head or any of that stuff, but I just feel like it's my duty now to publicly humiliate these guys. If they're willing to pay the Piper and and go through the legal system and pay their dues not only criminally, but somewhat civilly. As I said, you sign the documentation, we meet in a ring somewhere. I'll make an example out of you, and then we can all move on from this. But if they don't, I said to them on the podcast, I've said it in... I'm going to smoke them out. I'm going to use every resource I got. There's some bad people out there. Irish Travelers are not the only bad people out there. Yeah, that's true.
You might know some bad people out there, some bad omnies. And their own Irish...
The other Irish travelers are probably not very happy that they're doing this.
They had a good thing going until they fucked with the wrong guy.
That's my understanding is there's an Arizona chapter and a Texas chapter.
I know. It's just ridiculous.
Because we had never heard about the subculture until you got into a fight with seven of them. And now it's like, I'm obsessed with finding out more about these guys.
Until they They're trying to boot fuck you outside the CVS.
That's what I'm seeing. So apparently, the Arizona chapter is very angry, being like, We're doing these small petty crimes under the table, and you guys are bringing us all this negative attention. Like, fuck off. So I don't know. It's a gong show, but it also seems like something that the government or the feds need to get involved in from a bigger scale in order to take these guys down. I think that immigration and people coming over is great, man. North America is the land of opportunity, but to come over here and then do that? Come on here. What are we talking about? This isn't people that we want inside of our country, is it?
No, let's get the feds involved. Let's get the FBI monitoring the Irish Travelers.
They boot fucked the wrong guy.
They did. They stepped in it. That's a fact. I love the fact that you're formally offering a retribution challenge for yourself. I will drop everything if I can just beat the fuck out of one of them.
You're like Jason Statham or something. Have you figured out?
How do you send that offer to them? Do you send that to their attorney, or are you just faxing a document over and be like, You want to go? Paul Bissenet. You want one? Yeah.
Officially, you want one.
It reads, tap on the shin pads.
You want one. You want one. And it's just a circle, yes or no. Yeah.
But you laugh. That is exactly the way you do it. We slide over the number that we want to cover my hospital, ambulance, in all the bullshit bills, and of course, the lawyer fees or whatever it is. And it's like, this is going to be a lot less painful financially if you just meet me in the middle of a ring somewhere. I don't want to do it in a boxing ring. I want to do it in an MMA ring. I want the punches to hurt.
Yeah, there you go. I love that.
You want to arm bar them?
I want to just pin down a couple of details because I've done a lot of reading about this, and I'm so happy that you're okay. I think it ended up being It's one of these stories where Paul Bissnet becomes a legend. You're like Paul Bunny. You can tell me anything about Paul Bissnet.
It's like, okay, I believe-You guys would have done the same thing, though, if you were.
No.
I would like to say that I would have.
Hold on, PFT. If I ate it in Houston's four or five nights a week, maybe I would.
Well, so that was one of the details I wanted to clear up here. Houston, this place, it's a family restaurant? Yes. How many times a week do you eat there?
I would say at the height, probably, I I would say four to five times at the height. I've only been there back twice since the ordeal in the last month just because it just doesn't feel as comfortable and cozy as it once did, maybe a little PTSD. I don't want to go in there and just I have to talk about it every time. I've hit up a few other local spots where I just moved into my place not too long ago, my newer spot. I haven't gotten back into my cooking routine like I was when I was renting my apartment the last few years.
You eat there, you said four to five times a week.
Yeah. At the height of it, yeah.
Okay. Do you get the same thing every time you go?
I switch it up a little bit.
Okay. Because I've heard that their salad is outstanding.
Traditional salad, yeah.Un Unbelievable.How.
Would you know?
It's a good kickstarter.
It's a It is a family restaurant.
It is a family restaurant. You confirmed that.
Yeah, but so 39 locations.
Have you ever eaten at a Houston? I have not. No. I have. Okay. It's very military-like. They are hardcore. The process to get hired there, they don't fuck shit up. Everything's always cooked perfectly. The service is incredible. They run a tight, tight ship. That's why I go there. I usually get the rotissery chicken. I do the filet sometimes if I'm feeling extra wild, maybe the French dip. That's usually the extent of it. Okay.
Then in the fight, I saw the video several times. I'm pretty upset. I know that you're upset about this. The part where you clock the guy, you're behind the tree, so you don't get to see the full on clock. Can you tell me just about that punch and how good it felt and seeing that guy get knocked out?
Yeah. I kept getting backed up through the parking lot, and I don't know how many people who are listening. The videos are everywhere. If you go search them online, if you go on my Twitter timeline, if you back it up a little bit, Shay Stevens has them, the local Fox station posted it. So probably three quarters through the distance of fight. Because remember, this started inside the Houston's, and it made its way all the way over to CVS inside the same strip mall because they kept backing me out. When you're fighting like that, you don't want to get clipped to where you end up getting knocked out where you're asleep, because like I said, they'll just keep kicking your head in. As I kept backing up, and then there would be a little bit of engagement, kept backing up a little bit of engagement, one of the one guys who was the biggest dickhead, William Carroll, he ended up sprinting past the group to try to get me, to try catch me off guard. And I hit him with a right hook, and you could see in his mug shot that he's all fucked up on his left temple.
And the minute I got him right on the temple with my right, he just dropped right to his knees, ready to fucking suck on my fourzy. It was like he was getting ready to unzip my zipper, that fucking piece of shit. I should have fucking pulled it out and gave him a little bit of a nighting, trash fucking Irishman. And then I guess their side was trying to say that he fell on the golf course, and that's why he was all straight up. He canign the fact that I did that. Give me a... Hey, but if you watch the surveillance from across the street in which catches them as they continue to kick me in the head after that, you could see him point at me and sprint at me into the frame, and then he disappears behind the dumpster, and then out the other side, there's four of them sprinting at me because they're pissed off. I just knocked out their buddy, and he doesn't come out the other side. So pretty hard to deny. And then below the tree line, when the camera falls it as he runs in, where you get blocked, you could see him drop.
And then you come see me sprinting out the other side. So listen to this. Before any of the surveillance came out, didn't even know if they had surveillance. I recounted the whole story on the podcast, and I posted something on social media. I was 95 % bang on with all of the details of what happened. I thought the guy I knocked out was bald. He wasn't bald. He had a little a bit of hair. He was maybe a little bit thin on top. Keep in mind, I was kicked in the head three, four times, so my memory was a little bit blurry. But every detail about the whole ordeal, I pretty much got bang on in my statement. Even the cops said they were like, Wow, you were unreal at recounting this before they even showed me the tape myself.
And then the postgame pressers were incredible. I mean, you should watch it. The postgame pressers, you got guys like, they're finding guys in hotels like two miles where they're pretending they weren't there. You got another guy who literally was direct quote. He's like, he looked like Dwayne The Rock Johnson. He didn't have a lick of body fat on him. I said it. I was like, they basically were talking like, Braveheart, like you're William Wallace. They were like, he's nine feet tall and shoots fireballs out of his ass. It was so awesome. They were so scared.
What a scene in Braveheart when he's running on the hills and they're telling the tale of William Wallace. That fucking gave me goosebumps when you said that.
Yeah, that's you. In the after report, I think the guys wanted to fuck you for the most part. They were like, his body was just covered with awesome tattoos.
This Mexican is awesome. Beat the fuck out of us.
There was one moment where you're backing up through the parking lot, and it seems like there are three guys that are walking at you, but they're not running at you yet. You're just keeping your head on a swivel, backpedaling, trying to get out of the situation, where it seems like you guys are exchanging words at that point. What are you Are you having a conversation at that point? Are you like, I'll fuck you up? And he's like, We'll fuck you up?
No, I'm being like, I said, What the fuck are you guys doing, man? These people are good people. And I pointed at the assistant manager who walked out, the one that that guy, the red shirt, was screaming his face. That's when it all started and I turned around. So he ended up being removed from the restaurant. So when the assistant manager came out to try to break it up, that William Carroll guy grabbed him by the neck and threw him against the car. You could see that in one of the clips. So as he veers off and goes and does that, you could see me pointing. And then one of the other guys is like, fight him, fight them. And pointing at the Danny Bradley guy, I go, you guys back up, and I'll square off with him one on one. But they never backed up. It was never going to be a fair fight. At one point, I think there was three or four of them because two or three of them had veered off to go fuck around with the assistant manager. But the minute that they'd thrown him against the car and assaulted him again, they hopped back in to come out by the dumpster.
So that's basically the words being exchanged. We're like, yeah, I'd love to go with a guy in the lime green shirt one on one, but I know yet that ain't going to happen. Because it didn't happen in the restaurant. It didn't happen when you guys got me down by the rock pile quickly when you started punching and kicking me. And then it obviously didn't happen after I knocked the William Carroll out when one of them tackled me like it was a rugby match, and then the other three had their way with me.
Yeah, they I never wanted to fight fair. I mean, the whole story, it's not.
Let's have a fair fight. If a few of them want to jump in the ring, we'll let Sean Daley, the Boot Fuck Specialist, we can let him... I'll take him as my traditional salad advertiser and then send him Danny Bradley when I'm done with him. I'm going to make these fucking guys famous, boys.
I love it. We're going to make them famous. We got to have front row, all the Houston staff sitting front row of the fight, the VIP, just treat them well, and they get to watch these idiots get your ass kicked by you.
But in the meantime, we're going to let the legal process figure it out. And let's hope Larry Kazan, the local big wig lawyer, whose son wants to get in the mix, firing DMs off the good side. This guy lives locally. His son, Ben, went to ASU, and these guys are jumping on those guys' side? That's crazy. They want these guys terrorizing the streets of Scottsdale when they live here? I think it's a bad look for Larry Cazan, and he can eat a bag of too, just like this kid.
All right. So, Ben, I do have a couple of hockey questions, but I want to say a couple of other things. We have the Winter Classics coming up at Wrigley, the Black Ops are playing in the Winter Classic this year, and the Spitten Chicklets boys are doing a live show on Sunday, December 29th, at 4:00 PM local time at the Riv. There's still some tickets left. Chelios is going to be Confirmed. Confirmed guests. Any other confirmed guests?
Jeremy Ronick, two Hall of Famers. A local legend, JR. He started his career there. I think Mike Keenan was the head coach. This guy's got the best stories of all time. So does Cheli. These guys are unbelievable dudes. So happy that JR finally got inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame. That was much needed and long-awaited based on what he did for the game, not only on the ice, but off the ice. So great to have those two guys in the mix. We're actually going to have Tim Stapleton as well, who is one of the OG favorite Chicklets interviews, probably a top five guy. He was the guy who cracked open the can on all the Russian DHL stories. So he'll be joining us. Jans will be There are the game notes guys, Merlin Army will be there. And I think at this point right now, there's about 150 tickets left over. I want to say the venue seats about 11 to 1200. So there's some lower bowls available. There's some upper bowls available, but it's going to be a live show at four o'clock. So even if you're a Hawks fan and you're going to the game that night, you'll be downtown, come grab a couple cocktails, come to the show at four, and then you'll be out of there by 5:30.
You can go grab a quick bite to eat, and then off to the Chicago Black Hawks game. And then, of course, they play two days later on the 31st, which is going to be the Winter Classic. It's going to be awesome. I actually like that it's on New Year's Day rather-New Year's Eve. Rather than New Year's New Year's Day, just because people are hung over. It's almost like you go to the game, you get that little buzz going, you go have fun, and then the next day, you could just sit on the couch and watch football.
Yeah, and also it doesn't compete against college football- Bingo. The ball game, which, by the way, Biz, he might stick around and watch a little ball games with us on New Year's Day.
I'm going to, and I'm trying to convince Jans as well. I changed my flight.
All right, I'll tell Yans. I'll text him that. All right, so definitely buy tickets to that. You can buy it. We'll put the link in in the YouTube for our show today. So go buy it. Tickets for the live show. It's going to be awesome.
We'll get back to American and Canadian hero, Paul Bisonet. He's brought to you by Experian. For the AWLs who really know us, how responsible we are with our money, The secret reason we got so much to gamble with is because Experian helps us save money across other purchases. League rights are getting out of hand. We have to subscribe to way too many streaming services so we can watch every key game and keep our listeners informed with our hard-hitting analysis. And That's where Experian comes in. It will find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions for you so you don't have to worry about paying for services that you forgot about. They'll also save you time and money by negotiating bills like cable and internet. That's right. They'll stay on hold for as long as it takes to make sure that you're getting the best price so you can save money and focus on what really matters. You can also have Experian negotiate your bills like cable, internet, cell phone, and you keep all the savings. All around, Experian does the work so you can save money. It's a one-stop shop for your financial health. Get started in the app today.
Results will vary. Savings are not guaranteed, and some may not see any savings. Not all bills or subscriptions are eligible for negotiation or cancelation, an eligible paid membership required. Get started in the Experian app and see how much you could save today. Now, here's more Paul Bissenet.
Hockey question. Is it the least year, finally? Give us a quick, I don't know, three-minute who's playing well, who's playing like dog shit, who's Mclin Celabrini, he's been awesome. Give us a quick... He's awesome. This isn't our full NHL preview. That probably won't happen for another two months. But just give us a quick, Hey, here's what's going on in the league, refresher, because football is winding down in a hockey seat. It starts for us.
I would say this is the best lineup the least have had in the last 15, 20 years. Very solid back end. They're getting incredible goal tending. They have three guys, actually. Matt Murray, who finally came back from injury, who won a couple Stanley Cups with the Penguins. Mind you, he does deal with the injury bug. They have that Joseph Wall, who last year played incredible, got injured for game seven. And then... Oh, God, I'm drawing a blank here. Their starter who just got hurt. I'm I'm not a blank, but he's been unreal all season long for them. He just went on the IR. I think he's out four to six weeks. Help me out by googling them. I can't believe I forgot his name, but their back end solid. Their core four, all the guys making all the big dough. Matthew Ousmane, Taveras, and Nylander are buzzing. Matthews has been out a little bit with back issues. I don't know if it's spasms or whatnot. He actually went over to Germany to get looked at, came back, was buzzing when he returned, and then left Got re-injured the other night after taking a cross check in the back in the Buffalo game.
But very solid team. They're at the top of that Atlantic division, which is very strong. They're tied in points with Florida, who's a juggernaut again, who has the possibility reach their third Stanley Cup finals in a row if they stay healthy. Looking around the rest of the league, New Jersey, great bounce back here. Stollars is the goalie's name for the Leaps. Yeah, he's been incredible for them. A great pickup. Going to the Metro, New Jersey just looks really solid. They solidified their goal attending. They got Mark Schrum. And then who's the other one? Not Elliott. Fuck. I'm drawing a lot of blanks on the goalie's names today. Jesus Christ. You got poof fucked a little.
What's that? You got boot fucked.
I got boot fucked in the head. Sorry, folks. But their offense is incredible. They got a great top nine forward group, great defense. Probably the biggest surprise so far this year has been the Washington Capitals, PFTs team. They made a lot of trades in the offseason, five or six guys they brought in, whether it was signings or trades. And they have just really panned out. Pierre-luc Dubois is playing solid. They got Jacob Chikrin over from Ottawa, who's a great defender. Manji O'Pawne, he's been solid. Roy. So they went out and got five or six guys where they were able to gel very quickly. I would say the overall MVP of their team, not only Ovechkin because of the goal chase, but because of the mojo he's created around the team. Him and Dylan Strom have had incredible chemistry. They really slow the game down. It's almost like the reincarnation of Backstrom. Not to insult Backstrom at all, but just the chemistry that these two have together. But I would have to say Carbury, the coach. He's the front runner for the Jack Adams. He just is such a modern day coach, players coach, really inspires the players, and they've really gotten behind him.
Carolina is always solid with Rob Brindamore, Although the people don't have much trust for them to get past the conference finals. They seem to get there every year, and they blow their load, and they just can't get over that hump. Winnipeg had a crazy start to the year where they were 15, 0,1. People I didn't expect that, so that was another huge surprise. And then Minnesota, Kareel the Thrill, another crazy Russian in the league who's been light in the lamp, probably a top three candidate for MVP right now, and just an unreal player to watch, where every game, game in, game out, shift in, shift out. He has much watched television. And then probably just have to give a little bit of love to Witte's oilers who have made a great comeback in a sense of another slow start. They were bullshit off the beginning. Probably some a hangover from going all the way to the Cup Finals, and then, oh, God, we got to do this all over again. And then probably the front runner in that Pacific division is the Vegas Golden Nights. They got great depth up the middle They have a really good back-end and good goal-tending, and they're well-coached.
So that's a good synopsis of the league. I don't know if you guys had any further questions about the NHL, but that's pretty much my rundown.
I had one further question. That was a great rundown. Are you worried at all about... Because I was actually texting with Whit about this, that the Dallas Stars are going to be a team of Destiny because Glassbanger Kid got put in jail and he is going to get out right as the Western Conference final start?
I think Dallas is a top five team in the league. So yes, I think that they could be a problem with Glassbanger. So a little bit of a backstory. So For you non-hockey fans, it's a full pie to continually bang on the glass as the play gets close to you, right? I can understand some people it's their first hockey game. They're getting excited. The play comes over, and they want to start body checking the glass a little bit to feel like they're in the mix. But eventually you figure it out, you stop doing that, or someone just grabs your shoulder and says, Hey, buddy, stop playing in the fucking glass, or I'm going to give you a knuckle sandwich, or I'm going to kick bootfuck you like an Irish traveler. Well, this guy, he's a trust fund One Baby. He has glass seats. He calls himself the Glass Banger. He brings a sign every game has the hashtag bang. He wears a full white suit, and any time the play comes near him or any time he wants to distract the Noly. He's just continually banging the glass, throwing body checks against the glass. So even last year during playoffs, the camera would pan over.
There'd be a battle behind the net, and he'd be over there getting in on the four check with the rest of the team, just banging, banging, banging. So The section that he sits in, the people are fed up with them. They hate him. He also, to put a cherry on top, brings pay for play hookers to every game. He'll call a girl from Backpages, get sucked off in his limo outside and then bring them on in and then just be obnoxious, and then that's it. Every game in, game out. So apparently, he ended up, what, getting a DUI and then forgot about it?
It happens, He got pulled over.
He's like, there was a miscommunication. He had a warrant out for his arrest for a previous DUI, so now he's in jail. I mean, I don't know how that happens where you're like, oh, whoops. I'd call Saul. I didn't realize that I had a warrant for the DUI I had.
Yeah, you're rolling them down one by one. What about Marsha? What about him? What bad stuff is going to happen? Because he bootfuck you in the face on TNT.
Yeah, he got you good.
Just when I didn't need it, Brad Marsha comes in, the Cosa Nostra. Brad Marsha is such an incredible ambassador to the NHL, so I have no more beef with him, nor do I want to get to put any more headlocks with Nuggies from Brad. But we had a fun little back and forth on TNT after that happened. And I don't know how many people watched the clip online. So every time pregame, the whole panel usually ask one question. So they had just replaced their coach. They fired Jim Montgomery. They brought in Joe Sacco. And I was curious to know because it's the first time that we got a chance to talk to him, what was it that Brad, as captain of the Boston Bruins, took away from when Sacco first addressed the team? What did you guys need to button up and change, and what was the message? So I asked that, and he's like, well, that's a bit of a boring question, and then proceeds to answer it. So he antagonized me. So I tapped Liam, I go, give me one more. So the other guys are in the midst of asking their questions, and then finally they're done and he's not answering.
And I say, Brad, one last question here from Biz. I said, I heard about all these offseason surgeries because he had two or three offseason surgeries. I said, was one of them getting a Turkish hair transplant because his hair looked great? It looked like he filled in some spots. As the guys at Barstool So this thing can really change the top of your dome. It can. Big time. So he had a good chuckle, and he goes, Hi. He goes, I'm just trying to look like one of those Irish travelers that beat the wheels off you the other night. And just on the broadcast, on So I get nose kicked, and he gets the last laugh. So sure enough, we have them on back-to-back broadcast. So we planned this whole skit where I do a Department of player safety, like George Paros used to film the clips, and we roll it, and then I come out of it and I got the neck brace on and the head wrap, and he didn't know. So we got him a monitor so he could see me asking that next question. And then we shared another They're awesome back and forth.
But these are the type of things that I think the NHL needs in order to draw outside interest. I just can't thank Marcia for being a good sport and not only involving himself, but definitely giving it back. It was a fun exchange.
Yeah, you guys are so good on TNT. It feels like inside the NBA. It feels like Chuck and Kenny and those guys. You guys have caught the same vibe.
I got to go sit and do a hit with those guys. I I sat down with them for 10 minutes to go on and promote the Winter Classic. So I got to sit down with those guys. As you just said, they laid the foundation so we could be a little bit more personable and maybe be a little less stale and traditional broadcast. So not only thank you to TNT for everything they've done for me, but also those guys for laying the foundation of what is just nonstop entertainment. And yeah, very grateful and honored to sit down with all of them. Ernie, Shaq, Kenny, who's in Barkley. Sorry, I've drawn a blank to the guy who was to my left.
Is it- Kenny's... I think you were in the middle, so Kenny was to your left.
Yeah, Kenny. I feel So he's the glue guy. You always talk about Shaq and Barkley, but he has some quick one-liners. He's a funny fucker, man.
Yeah. They have just great chemistry.
Oh, yeah. I'd like to present you with a part of my take, Citizen of the Year Award. I don't think we've ever done that. I feel like 2024, it should go to Paul Bissenet. Citizen of the Year Award? You get the key to the podcast. Yeah.
Citizen of the Year Award.
It's got a little bump on there for you.
Boys, I'm honored. I always get a little bit envious when I see the blank of the year or the awards that you give out and the fact that I'm taking in my first ever part of my paper award.
The year isn't over, but right now, you're the front row.
Yeah, don't mess anything up.
You're minus 900 to be the Citizen of the Year.
Citizen of the Year award.
Okay. I didn't have a speech prepared, but I guess I should wait till the new year.
Yeah, wait till you officially win it. You got to officially win it for you to... Yeah.
I'll just say, if I do win it, I'm not saying I'm going to. Don't want to jinks it. If I do win it, I want to pass it along to all the citizens of Scottsdale and also the police, fire department, all the first responders and the amazing people. It's incredible. Why are you doing? What do you mean?
This is what a citizen of the Year does. This is why you're to win it, probably.
I just wanted to solidify that. But all those police officers that caught those scumbags and helped rein those guys in from creating more terror in our city. So thank you to the police Department of not only Paradise Valley, but Scottsdale Road. Bad boys, bad boys.
What you don't do.
What about the-What you don't do when biz comes for a bad boys, bad boys.
All right, so biz. I got one last question, some rowback question. Robobeack. Com, promo code take 20% off your first purchase, Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, Dogers Short. So hopefully, you will... First of all, go buy the tickets. Again, the Chicklets Boys are doing a live show on Sunday, December 29th at 4:00 PM at the Riv. You can go buy tickets. We'll post it here on the YouTube, and we'll put it in the episode description. If you're listening on the podcast, go buy. It's going to be a great show. My last question is, well, you're going to hopefully win Citizen of the Year. You're going to come watch maybe You're going to have some college football with us on January first. If you do, then we'll have you back on to do a Citizen of the Year acceptance speech. But would you maybe decide, would you display your Citizen of the Year award in Houston's if you wanted? Because I would It's up for the people of Houston Pay their respects to it. Pay their respects. So would you do that? Would you consider that?
I would 100% bring it over and say, Hey, the PMT boy. Only if next time you're in there, they give you a traditional salad on the house. Okay.
I like that.
Listen, you should not pay for another meal there ever. Ever.
We'll see. But if you do the traditional salad, you got to do it with thousand island dressing. Okay.
They should at least name a menu item after you. That salad should be called the biz. Yeah.
Well, maybe I could bring... I know you're not going to be here, PFT, but Big Cat, maybe I can bring you when you're here on the 26th. I could bring you in there, show you around, show you the blood spatter that's still on the ground there.
Be nice. Show me the people.
A chalk line.
The tremendous staff.
Yeah, we'll get Xs put on the ground like it's Deely Plaza so people can go through it and relive the night. Be like, Oh, that's where he got bootfucked. Also, your recap speech, I You didn't plan on doing it this way, but you have a way about speaking that's like, maybe it's the Canadian part of you, where you're retelling this very scary event, but almost in a whimsical way where you're like, Yeah, three or four guys just boot fucked me in the parking a lot outside the CVS. It makes you want to laugh as you're recapping it, but it's serious stuff. It's been a whirlwind of last month for you.
Yeah, you're our hero. You're our hero.
Thank you, Biz. Thank you for your service.
First of all, thank you guys for having me on in the kind words. And the last thing I'll say is, I was never that much of a fighter growing up. Yeah, I got in a few dust-ups on the playground and did a little bit in junior. But when I got to the American Hockey League and I switched from defense to forward, that's when I got thrown in the fire where I had to start playing that role. So when I was playing in the AHL, back to back years, I got over 30 fights. So we would get on a bus, we drive to the away city, get off the bus, you get Dress, and I have to fight Jeremy O'Blonsky and Binghamton once or sometimes even twice, get bambied, get conkeyed, go to the penalty box. There was no spotter back then. You just went and licked your wounds in the box and acted like nothing was wrong. And then after that game, you put your gear You hop back in your bag, you hop back on the bus, you travel four hours to the next city, you'd go and unpack your gear at that rink at 2:00 AM or whatever time it was, you'd go to the motel, you'd sleep, you'd wake up, and you do it all over again.
You do that three in a row, three and threes. So that basically prepared me to get boot-fucked in the CVS parking lot. I need to thank Jeremy O'Blonsky and the John Nasty-Morasty, and all those other guys who used to beat the wheels off me when I was learning how to scrap, that prepared me for the Irish Traveler. So without them, I'd probably be drinking out of a straw on a respirator right now.
Yeah, we're glad that you're not. But I do hope you get your nose fixed at some point. They fucked you up pretty bad there.
I'm going to add that to the note that I'm sliding across Larry Pizan's desk.
Yeah, you're His nose was perfect.
Maybe a second Ben can pay for the nose job.
You had a great nose before that fight. They need to fix that.
All right, well, Biz, you're the best man. And Citizen of the Year award, we have five days left in the year. So hopefully, you can wrap it up.
Yeah, don't fuck up. I hope this doesn't become a Jussie Smolet in the next week where we found out that none of this actually happened. But right now, minus 900. You got this. They were hired actors.
Hired travelers. We'd still probably give you the award. All right. Thanks, biz. Appreciate it, man.
I love you guys.
Welcome back to another Firefest of the Week brought to you by our good friends over at Morgan & Morgan. You know what really sucks is thinking that you can dunk in training for basically Basically a year and not being able to dunk. You know what else really sucks? Getting injured. But you know what doesn't suck? Calling Morgan & Morgan so they can help you get what you deserve. While they can't help you increase your vertical jump by six or more inches, they can help fight to get you full and fair compensation when injured. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to forthepeople. Com/pmt, or you can dial poundlaw529 from your cell phone.
All right, Firefest of the Week to wrap us up.
Henry, I mean, tough to have a firefest on a great week like this. I don't know. I guess I watched- How to shoot. I played nine holes on Christmas. Had a great time with the fan. Shot five over. It was like a part three, part four short course. People were very mean to me online, but that's to be expected. Not really a firefest. I watched Red One, the Rock Christmas movie. Horrible. Just an abomination of a Christmas movie.
You expected more?
I guess the real Firefest, I got trolled. I got satired.
Oh, no.
I read a tweet thread from someone that was like, I know all the reviews of Red One were bad, but actually it was pretty good. Then there was a few replies from people that were also in on the bit being like, Yeah, this movie was really funny. It was good, and I bought it. I I recommended it to my family being like, I think this movie is good. We should watch it.
Oh, no.
You got more views?
Yeah, pretty much. Within five minutes, I was like, No, this is... I went back and checked. I was like, Yeah, no, this was satire. I didn't pick up on it, and this is so bad.
Damn. That's tough.
That's added to your New Year's resolutions.
I'm usually- I'm usually going to read one book this year.
Yeah. It's going to be huge. All right. In terms of Firefest, that's nothing, especially after last week.
We got last week, and then we got this week. Not every week is the same. Not all Firefest are created equal.
Yeah. All right, PFT?
Yeah. Like Hank, it's a good week, Christmas. The joy is here. I'm in the Christmas spirit. Got to see some family and hang out. It's been a good week. My only Firefest is, I guess, I went to a speakeasy on Monday. You guys ever go to a speakeasy?
I never really know what the definition of a speakeasy is because I feel like it's something from the Prohibition era, and now bars just say it's a speakeasy. Unless there's a secret entrance, I don't think it should be called a speakeasy.
I agree, and I don't think that there should be speakeasies unless they're actually illegal places where you can smoke inside and it's against the law. That's what a speakey should be. There are way too many speakeas in America right now. If you want to have a cool bar, you just call it a speakeasy, and you just go up to the door, you knock on it, you just have to know the right door, and then you walk in and it's a bar. There's this one that's down in Texas that I just heard about where you go up to it and it looks like it's a flower shop that's closing. You go in and there's a guy that's cleaning off the counters. Then you go in and he lets you in to the actual bar. This guy up front is just like an actor playing somebody that cleans up at night. And then he's like, Okay, here's the bar. There's way too many speakees. If you're going to have a speakee, it should be illegal. You should feel like you're getting away with something. You stand the chance of getting arrested or at least watching the entire place get shut down while you're in it.
There's way too many speakeasies out there. They're just bars. You're looking for an excuse to charge $7 more for a beer and $10 more for a cocktail, but you're just a bar. You're not a speakeasy. It's stolen valor.
Bars during COVID that actually ran. We were open like that with some true speakeasy shit where they black out the windows and would be like, the cops are coming, turn the music down for 10 minutes.
During COVID, I I got a haircut when they weren't allowed to be open, and my barber let me in through the back door and then kept all the lights off in the front, and I was in the way back. That was fucking cool. That's what a speakeasy should be.
That counts as a speakeasy. But now the term just gets thrown around fast. It's not a speakeasy if I look at your wall and you have your health department grade on the wall.
You're right.
It pits me off. I don't know. Maybe there's people out there that like the whole speakeasy trend. I'm not one of them.
Can I piggyback real quick, PFT? Another trend that I fucking hate, bars. I can't stand, and I don't know why this pops up every now and then. The bars that have the pour your own beers. Yeah. I hate that shit. That shit is so stupid. The whole point of going to a bar is have someone... You get to sit down, you get to have a little conversation with the bartender. They pour you a beer, you feel like a man. I don't want to have to get up and go pour my own beer. I suck at pouring beer.
Yeah.
You need to have a card to activate.
You feel like you're playing laser tag or some shit.
Yeah. It sucks. A Dave & Buster's mega beer that you have to pour yourself. I didn't like it when Elon did the Tesla Convention or whatever, and he had the robot bartender. I don't want a robot bartender. I want a bartender that's going to be friendly with me and trick me into thinking that we're friends now, and then I'm going to have a good conversation with him. I don't want to have to wait patiently for a robot or a machine to my beer.
Yeah. Okay. My Firefest, it's the bears and what just happened on national television. But it's also because Sundays, we always stream, so I'm not home. I watched the first half with my son, and he was just like, Why are the bears always losing? And I just couldn't answer that. It's similar to when he was like, How hot is the sun? I was just like, I don't fucking know. I don't have an answer.
Don't. Same answer, don't look at it.
Yeah, don't look at it. He was like, The bad guys have three and the bears have zero. Why are we always losing? I was like, Dude, I don't fucking know.
Have you had the conversation about did you try to turn them off tanking?
Yeah, no, he's been off tanking. We had a long discussion about Caleb in the offseason that's not aging well. That was in the privacy of my own home. I'm going to take some videos on draft day saying this is the day that's We're going to change our lives, and we're going to play this later when you're 15. But yeah, no, it sucks. It sucks. The bears are miserable. Thank God they don't have any more nationally televised games because there's only one more game left. But holy shit. It's setting the game of football back. Decades. It's so bad, dude.
So Caleb had a dime, an absolute dot for a countdown. What are you laughing at, Hank? Taking a video.
That's unbelievable.
Yeah, I drafted. I was like, Today's the day that we're going to laugh about this in a decade.
That countdown pass that he threw, was it to Roman Dunzay in the first half?
This is awesome.
That was a sick half.
That was a personal highlight reel.
It didn't count. It's bullshit that the bears aren't allowed to cheat. They should be allowed to cheat. One guy should be allowed to cheat on every play.
I'm going to have to find these videos. I'll send it to you, Hank. It was just so bad. It was just me being like, Hey, you're facing the bear.
He also said he can just blame Thursday Night Football.
Yeah. All right. Good, good, good, good. Thursday Night Football. There it is. There it is. Okay. We did record numbers. So, reminder, we'll be back on Sunday night, so you'll have a show on Monday, and then we'll have a show on Friday as well next week. So Monday, Friday, next week as well. But yeah, let's kick it to ourselves in studio where we recorded some lottery ball. Okay. We're back in studio. Numbers.
17.
11.
80. He's looking around for numbers. 21.
70. 67. 25.
Five. Shane Daniels.
Is he? Yes, he was. Is he? Yes.
I hate Jane Daniel. Not quite the contrary, Mims. He's so good.
He's so good.