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Potholes and penguins with Barry and trimbach. Now we're back, it's episode two, Potholes and Penguins, how y'all doing, Roll called Barry unsure, trembly on Shauntay Durrie. Oh, good man. Welcome, lads. It's Sunday night. We're here in Dublin. We're getting in early this week, lads. We've watched loads of rugby all weekend. We hope you're well. We're here for the next few hours just to pour ourselves into your ear holes, and we hope you enjoy it.


Thank you so much to everyone for subscribing in us. All week we've been blown away by the response and for following us to know that your comments have been very reassuring. Um, so, look, we'll take off. We take up where we left off solving the world's problems and positives and counting the pounds and the pennies and picking up the pieces and the parts and the pontificating, all the things. Potholes and penguins with the presentation of a well poured pint of porter well of port.


Um, yeah. Tranby how is your day. You've you've come down, you've come down from Belfast. It's your first day back commentating on the rugby. You have good time. I thought, I thought I was commentating on the rugby. What were you doing. Security. Security in the sun. Uh, I was on the phone to the producer there last week, um, only a few days ago, just doing a bit of prep before the show.


And then we talked for about twenty minutes, a little bit different players and subplots and what's going on, ostracod it.


And then I was like, by the way, I'm commentating.


He's like, no, just a guest in the studio. Oh, OK. So is that easier? Uh, it's just different. OK, so it's, um, probably a slightly easier chillout chill out to be constantly on who you do it. Um, grim little premier sport. Feris Stephen first go who's brilliant. Oh yeah. He loves throwing out controversy and stuff and bit of crack. We can get him on the show. Yeah. Sure, yeah.


Because he was down today actually should the show to see if he was keen to come in. Yeah but yeah. So I um er so it's obviously like video TV and I was going to, I wore my wedding outfit, not my, my wedding. I fit the outfit that I designated for wedding purposes. Uh OK.


I thought you were there and like the three piece suit if I dropped the Dickie bow um but I went with loafers not quite three quarter length trousers, but she comes out and no socks and I was getting a bit of heat, very pothole to draw attention to a lot of people on Twitter. Um, getting on to about us. Yeah. Look, give them a break, lads. That's obviously it's a bit of fashion at them at the moment.


I forgive you. A lot of people on TV wondering about their status, whether they're podhorzer penguins over the last few days, which has been very entertaining. And the word on the street is everyone that we are all potholes and penguins. We are all in fact, bottles and penguins were intertwined with each other like the universe is one. Everyone is a pothole. Everyone is a penguin. We've all potholes someone. And we've all been penguin to someone.


So I don't feel like you're too far in one camp, although some of you probably are. But yeah, that's why we named us. Because we're fucking into paradox here, lads. Yeah, I pothole Chris far all the way back there. They were up once they were up in Belfast to play Ulster obviously. And I bumped into him at the gym and I was pleased to see him punching him. And while I was chatting away and um, it just I was really enjoying the conversation, but we just lost me.


So I kind of just forgot myself a little bit. And there was just this moment where he just turned to go to finish up the conversation. And I asked one more question and I could see his brain just trigger and he just went his apartment.


So so we've all got it.


And I was so disappointed that, look, it's a you done that. Oh, yeah. God, that's all I'm saying. I've been to Pottle. Yeah, I've pintura Padel Roy Keane. I told you about that last year fucking head and I've done the players are tough because you come across the player, especially in Limerick in case of Troy, they're always around the place and you see them and you're like Oh bollocks lords them and you're because all you're going to say is OK, well don't we go on road to fitness to injured or whatever.


So I've got to approach. It was better with a mask I think.


And it has just run away. Yeah. Masks could be could kick start people becoming more and more partly because it's disguised. You can get away with more of the mask bottles. Don't like being in disguise. They're different through, through and through. One hundred. Part or a part time part of wandering around in the open looking for you zombies. So one of my favorite parts of last week, weekend, some of the responses we got were about your intro and how you got us off to a start with that penguins assembled thing, which I really enjoyed.


So I want that to be a thing we do every week, a silly little piece, let's call it a silly these silly little bits that he does the steroids. So I've tasked you with another one of those this week. OK, so laid down upon. OK, this is my silly little bit silly Tranby silly little bit. Five months ago, none of us knew with any confidence how to pronounce the words furlaud or out there or none of us had ever watched Contagion.


Some of us even called it Kentucky. Some of us maybe even thought a contagion was a British Bowron Kielty. None of us had ever heard of an epidemiologist, but now we're all epidemiologists or epidemiology. Humor me for a moment while epidemiologist. This is tricky. I'm through the worst to draw reference to the fear we mentioned last week. Lockdown Mark two is coming. But what will we learn from lockdown, Mark? One hears what kids and family in general aren't the be all and end all.


You heard it here first. It's much more important to value time with the boys when we have it. But what will we call lockdown mark to lockdown? Locked diner, locked down syndrome, I, for one, look forward to getting down to Activision to get my copy of Locked Down With a Vengeance whenever it's finally released, I believe it's I'd run Christmas.


Bit weird. Very weird, but with Gorger. So lock down season one was with the family and we're all like, yes, it's so good to be back.


I love spending time with family, so it's just good to get some family time and but like, I'm sorry, I just I would have missed so much if I was away. So much of the kids, Michael taking his first step. And Annabell, when she said in Latin, Daddy, I look very advanced. But lockdown prior to this sounds way more interesting. This is when we get back to basics with our bodies. Is this what were suggesting?


Yeah, I'm suggesting we put all that all of our kids in a room together and just see lock the door.


They get on school without the teacher. Thanks. Thanks. Teacher is the teachers are taking up the slack. They've not zoove for six months. The rest of us have had many children every day. And I know what it's like if schools don't get back. Well, they're going to get back. Jack and Molly, my duty to my three to that I planned are back this week.


Um, Katie is great, though. Uh, sorry. That's through me. But admission they're getting back this week. And if schools don't kick on properly, I know I'm in trouble and as a doctor and she's going to say that her job is a lot more important than I thought you said. And as a doctor, I was a hero, not a doctor. And as a doctor, she's going to say what she's going to say. Her job's more important than mine.


We bring up we're trying to entertain potholes. And, yeah, he's going to and I know this the name we've given the show hasn't given me any credit for or she's like way he's doing the podcast Potholes and Ping.


I mean, I remember leaving the house and she was explaining to her friends why I was going to be gone for the next two days. And this fecund podcast, I do know pothole penguins or something. I was there a good work with my friend. I think you're spot on. And this is what we're doing. We're we're setting up for lockdown season two. Let's just hang out with your mates. Yeah. So lock down harder. It's locked down harder or locked down with a joiner down or knocked down harder and then locked down with a vengeance.


And then that's enough. Yeah, but you're right about the the what we communicate whenever we say what our profession is. No recording potholes and penguins because Arnav comes home from work and she says, oh, I diagnosed a heart murmur.


I, by contrast, talked about the kids getting back to school. Yeah. And, um, made a silly little trembley monologue about I enjoyed it. Whatever it was, I enjoyed it. And we had a we had a moment today when we left the house and we got on the road and we were listening to Lords and listening to Meatloaf on the way up and Whitney use banging tunes. And then we pulled into junction fourteen, which is that big, huge fat petrol station on the M seven.


And we were walking in there and it used to be just a regular old petrol station, didn't it? Me? Yeah. My God. It's like walking into the future now. And I said it's like welcome to the fecund future and intermingles, I feel like I just walked into duty free in an air force that was so accurate.


Yeah, it was just mad, like you just walking in. You're doing the Q and then you're like D'Astier like a little security packed and ready to go through security to get in the fucking door. You're walking through loads of people and some people are selling burgers and some people are selling like whatever perfume perfume it was. Chanel are for you. But, uh, what do they get when we go to the gate? I was going to get some food out there, and you're always hung over when you're coming home from somewhere in that the boarding departure lounge.


That's what the saint and all of a sudden we were in this. Yeah, when I get something for my girlfriend, I forgot her something. I get her some talk and talk or a tight rock or something like that. We were like, we're, we're just suspicious station and it's just get a cup of coffee and diesel and corporatism and then go to the till. And then they're like, uh, javu. Part and parcel of that. I'm back in duty free purgatory.


That's the so far to you know, again, it's like Purgatory Junction for these new park. Was packed full of people, um, so, yeah, that was a real new norm for me, had been something like that. Yes, I think it's just dawned on us that this is long term. This isn't going away any time soon.


Here we are, burn in the nation for years off about it as well, because you can't escape it, can you? Yeah. Sorry, lads. We've got plenty of rugby to talk about, plenty other stuff to talk rugby and sport. But again, I want to reiterate how grateful we are for all of your comments and your likes and just being generally sound across the board, which is always the order of the day. It shouldn't be. You got an email today to say how fabulous we are from a very, um.


Is it a trustworthy source? Not quite. Um, it's some company that does like podcast analytics. They obviously want me to sign up and not just that upgrade. So, um, Dermo, you asked a very, very specific question that was asked. Is there a little bit of brownnosing going on to try and try and get us on board? Yes, 100 percent. But I'm going to take it all as I was given. Um, we should post this should we post this up on our on our Sociales just to get across?


I agree. We are. Yeah, we are the number one sports podcast in Ireland over the last week, according to a stranger, emailed me out of the blue.


So they take it man I it's on iTunes anyway. And so we got a few very, very pleasant reviews, all five stars. This one in particular. I enjoyed the title of the review was better than listening to the wife, and they've said we haven't listened to it yet. But sure, the lads are signed like their. Oh that's what I'm sure. Yeah. Signing off before. And that's an American listener actually. Oh. And we remember last week we give the podcast a no.


I'm sorry that the penguin the no this this guy here herp derp fifty five they've renamed themselves Penguin. Sixty nine because I think they might be in the sixty ninth penguin into the Facebook group. Wow. By the way. Sexy. Yeah. Stick yourself in the Facebook group as well. Me not you I'm talking about. Are you talking to people talking to the one hundred percent potholes. Close your eyes. Would you do that. So I don't know.


You told me. Just brings me so much joy said one listener in No Time listener. First time reviewer. I thought that was a typo. I haven't even listened yet. I'm giving it five stars in the strength of the name alone. As an avid fan of penguins on a biweekly frequenter of a good Pottuvil, I'm very excited. I don't know what that means, but they like us. Yeah, and that's the main thing. Frequenter of a good bottle.


Yeah. Oh, they're bizarre behavior. They come across them all the time. We are. We're all them. Maybe part of themselves. I potholed myself all the time inside my head. The two lads, my head be chatting away with every shot. I would go on but it's all, it's all good. It's all too positive. It makes me awkward. It makes me it flatters me. It humbles me. But it also makes me very pleased how popular we are and how viable this podcast is.


All right.


We go into part two. In part two, we are going to discuss Monster versus Leinster in the event and also versus Connacht in the veteran know we're both kind of doing things for it. I was in an apartment down the road from the Avivah my cross watching on Gobble Gobble Box, which was great for the Irish Rugby Players Union. And what's the foundation like your tackle, your feelings. So it was very cool to cut my grass. And you were doing the television with with Graham Little with Premier Sport and seen first.


First. Yeah. We get on the show. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. Brilliant. OK, we take a break, we'll have a lot of stuff.


Talk about it. We're back on part two. Welcome back, everybody. Well, rugby, OK, so right first up is Monster versus Venstre versus Monster, I think. Twenty seven. Twenty two. A TV that really enjoyed that game. So on Friday it was down for a walk in. ULLE and I passed the monster team doing their captain's run in the ball area of you. And I haven't watched monster training probably since I retired. It's not something I do because I'd be too afraid to be in a IT.


But I hadn't seen rugby in six months so I was like, oh my God, I'm going to be watching this. So Dawn, I was watching the captains around the world having the ball around and I was the only one watching it. I was quite wary that I was wearing this blue trench coat raincoat and I felt like I may have looked like some sort of a Leinster scout. So I started going to be paranoid. Didn't stay long, but I stayed long enough to see RG Simon standing in a line.


I was where he looked just like he was towering over. Everyone is enormous. So I put up on Twitter afterwards. God can wait to see his name and he's a monster. He's like a good monster though. Like Treebeard from the rings because he's quite tall, like treebeard and I think he's going to do a serious amount of damage and he did a good bit of damage in the six minutes that he was on. But very unfortunately, he had to come off.


Let's remember when Treebeard starts lobbing boulders and stuff and he gets ratty and he changes everything, like they're kind of forked until he turns around, he gets ready and starts destroying everyone up at Saruman or whatever his name is, GAF. So anyway, I put that up on Twitter and it got a great response and people were like, this is the content we want for the show on Monday. This is like Lord of the Rings. So I took the liberty and went full Barry on it and I've gone on a full version burning on it.


So there's My Lord of the Rings analogy. And this is look, I'm a monster fan, so I've got pure monster look. I include everyone. Don't don't worry. You're in there. You're all there. So stick around. But I'm getting a little bit biased. So I was rugby's Middle Earth and Monster is the shire and the fellowship where the hobbits are, but also the fellowship. They're going to save the Leinster, the elves from Ellisville, because they're they're just they're anti to advance.


They're just, you know, constant schleppy that consists and they're schlick there's loads of them. They're never age that all the young people coming through and years pointing straight and they're here all the time and yada.


So they just if it's connected to the mountain men like the dwarves from the kind of that's the hills mad rough off like but they're loyal and they're hard enough and you're like, yeah, fucking good crack of dawn.




My ex, uh, Ulsterman, you're Roanne. Remember that place with Kinkead and so you're kind of quite Viking, like in the hills. A lot of blondes like yourself, a lot of blonde and handsome people and some women and some men. But you had that guy ringworm or whatever his name was, that little novela. He was speaking into the ear of hearing. Oh yes. His name was ringworm. He's like the Brits that are in there.


A year ago, I got over to our side and you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're like, all right. So that's so we're all that's the world, right then, Frodo? I think because it's it's Middle Earth and he's the one that's going to save us, he has to be about half because the all the way it is on him so monstrous. I'd have to do a hundred of it at the moment. I'm just going to give him Frodo.


It's up to him. He's got his feet and hairy, hairy hours. Just quite fitting for Frodo. Roj then as Bilbo because he's the former ring bearer. Yeah, the guy, the real ring bearer. The original the guy who started the whole thing, the the original hobbit like Bilbo and he's know the way Bilbo is, gets a bit doddery. Like to know when Raj gets asked the question now and Angelman asks him something, a news talker on telly and he kind of looks for a second.


I get to know where he is. That's when Roger's done zero homework. Yeah, but I don't really know about that, you know what it's talking about. But then you come out with some answer that's better than any of us could have ever imagined. And that's believable as a few moments like that as well. We're like our big one would be pushing. No, but he's still he's the original. And you have Samwise, who, in my opinion is the real hero of game, almost like in terms of Lord of the Rings.


He's the real hero. He's the most he's dragonfruit Frodo's whole around fucking lurch to Mordor and put up with all his bullshit. And he didn't want any. Raise or any taxes on any of the dialyzed is just a homebody. That's early, it's early Samoyeds guarantee. Then you're like Marium Pépin who are, you know, that's a great Kacie, quite small. He's going to do something important for us. Marion, people end up doing something very important or scandalous.


Scandal had big cakes for us before, so put him in there. Gandharva Billy Holland, because he's the oldest player in the world, I think now. And he also talks quite slowly, like Gandalf, Billie Holiday's never Lugt euros, exactly what he means. Also, what was Billie Holiday Bastable?


Legless, that's customary, and I know legalizers and health, and that's usually Landser, but Kanamori has to be like last week, she just fits the bill quite so prim and proper. Very good. It is his bocskor, kind of like his bow lash. And people are born arrows. You question that. Um, I'm just concerned about the Leinster Lenzer thing. I thought it might have been someone someone who's maybe converted from Leinster to Monster. I know.


I was thinking Conway would be a good loss as well because he's so dangereuses cause a lot of tries and so I'm happy to do that. Yeah. OK, OK. Um, you have been relegated to a regular Helga's Aragorn.


I was going to give in Peter O'Malley because he's quite a leader and Pete does that kind of. But Damien. And is the ball of Alanda our sorry offensive of Aragorn. He's just as big Aragorn sunk and gorgeous head eyes sorry. And give him a little bit along here and an old sword and you've got feed on Viggo Mortensen also from a different land, which I think is well, Gimli could be any prop. Basically what you remember you said about the wedge props that can be all there, all the one person.


Really. Yeah, few tattoos and a beard. Um, yeah. Yeah. And Dennis Buckley might be a good Gimli. Yeah. I think he's a decent one. Yeah. I was given a ticket. David Kilcoyne. I thought they were I thought they were on it though. Yeah. But he's originally from his family, originally from bought up that area Louisburg. So he's got his blood but he just settled down a bit in middle in the shire because all of them are kind of bit wondering, like know the lads that end up in the Fellowship Fellowship Fellowship.


But then we have got them right. Who is Felix? Because he's, uh. I'm excited with this. Yeah. So he's just wandering around obsessed with rugby and precious, my precious rugby. And he's always like in a cave somewhere just with a fish and a laptop, just watching rugby, just lurking around the place, obsessing over my rugby. So I also have a friend of ours in Florida in a band called The Hootenanny called Brian True, who is an unbelievable impressionist.


So he's sent me a version of Gollum as Felix, you help me. This looks like. Oh, that's so good, isn't it?


So perfect, Felix. I've never met him. I loved it more than Felix. He called me just a couple of weeks ago. I haven't heard from Felix in months, like and called me out of the blue. So I assumed that you would text someone if you hadn't been on the phone to them in a while. So I assumed this was an emergency and it was a rugby emergency, he said. Tranby we small talk for five minutes and then I was like, what's the story?


And it was, um, to beach. Remember, there was a play with Ireland six years ago. He wanted he wanted the he said Ulster replicated it recently. In the last couple of seasons, Ulster have done a trip. McKlusky nearly went through, but just got scry because someone didn't clean the rock deep enough. Oh well. Oh you haven't changed a bit. That is in a nutshell. Yeah. Well just put I like newspapers. Are the boards crumpled up all the paper all around the fact drawing on the walls and on the windows.


Jesus, you didn't remember I visited you. You know I didn't quite but I actually I did remember. I just couldn't pick the game. A texture mcclosky was actually a bit of a nerd as well. He came straight back and knew the fixture. Look, Felix, Felix is our perfect Celeron, the bad guy with the big guy that is the Irish government. Right. Who are making a complete bollocks of everything at the moment. Just Delp there being absolute clowns, watching everyone watching you.


Why do you do? And how many of you are there? There's nine, Evvie. They're walking up and we're like, we're trying to save the fucking world men. And they're like, no, there shouldn't be many that many of you. And that is like thousands of them are playing golf, the fucking orcs or whatever. They're just thick and talk and shit and try to control as them. They're so corrupt and just pontificating bullshit totally. Does the orcs have black stuff that comes out of their mouths?


That's like the bullshit that's seeping out of the Irish government's mode at the moment because it's one rule for them and one rule for us. Actually, what was the quote from the Lord of the Rings? One rule to find them. On one ring, sorry, one ring, true them all, one ring to rule them all, one ring. What was that? I thought I was wondering when in the darkness, by the one rule to rule them wandering through the mind ruined one ring to rule them all, one ring to bind them, one ring to find them all, and in the darkness, bind them or something like that.


That's what they're at. It's the same thing trying to control us and make us do them. But it's fine for them to go off and play their golf and just make loads of money and make up a load of bullshit that keeps them in jobs. We're on to Irish government and all the so that the Aurakzai, which are the really bad, bad guys and then the Nasu, who are the guys on the to the on the horses, on the Dragons, the black dragon.


Then whenever they put the ring on. Yeah. They're the proper Irish Wangary government politicians and also the corrupt businessmen. They're the ones we really have to be aware of then like the Saruman, who's the Gandalf's kind of deal that is up against Gandalf. He's got the same straight and heroism and he's up in the tower. That is Jim Cooper, who did not see that coming up in the tower, just casting spells on all the hawks. And the hawks are all the lunatics throughout the day yesterday who don't really know what they're doing.


They're just arguing against Viji and covid aliens or something like that. So that's erm and so we kind of have to bypass him that madness. But you're like Oh Jesus Christ, where you have to get through all those lunatics first, those lunatic arcs to get to the proper bad guys so they have their work cut out for them. The Fellowship and then the Irish people us we're like all the folk from Gondor and Deep and Isen guards who just want to get on with us or Sound or Patos.


We're penguins or grand and the rest of them are representing us. And also Boromir, remember him? He was Sean Bean's character. Oh, yeah. He turned bad. He turned bad. So I always want to put Zeb's into here somewhere because I love Zeb's. So I remember I had him as a Landow Parisian woman at the Star Wars, one who turned bad, but he turned bad like Biram turned bad, but then like Landow, crazy and came back and saved Luke at the end and he ended up saving our asses.


And Boromir did the exact same thing. And I think Zeb's might come back from France and save all our asses, maybe become president or something like that. So I'm going to give him Barmer. That's the end. That was, um. Well, I'm sorry. You have to listen back and get up to speed. Definitely. Definitely. Without a doubt. The high point for me was Feliks. Yeah. He's such a good guy. Yeah.


Yeah. Well, look, I think we should all rise up as a nation and maybe just go for a walk like as your point lockdown season to like gone back with your mates. Just get out your friends, become a fellowship and go for a walk for a few weeks.


That's where all our lactobacilli next month go around the wild Atlantic way. There we stop in all the nice places. Yeah.


Eat some of the the local foliage and and so you wouldn't be very long flowing around and stuff. But um to to your initial point treebeard he's, he's RACT and they wouldn't have, they wouldn't have been successful in the mission had not been for Treebeard Nola's me. It's so monster bucket I'd say no they're not, they're say snowman's. He's only Geographe branches but he's stuffed not. He is daft. He's done all together. Um I don't know this, you're just being naive.


But Vinograd came out and said it looked pretty serious. He was limping off and there's been Akl chat. No. Yeah. No one knows obviously but. That's right. I feel sorry for monster man that was to lose, you know, to come back and want to hit the ground running and play very well, but still be without, you know, losing him. And David going after the first few minutes. So we went out Tiger and still being without Joy Carbury, they haven't had a fully kind of full fit squad of their best players for their best players missing again.


So feel a feel for them. And they did so much right in that game yesterday. But Leinster, again, just have this knack of knowing how to beat us even when, you know, we were really putting it to them at the end. Yeah, I, I felt like it was the same old story a little bit, um, but to a lesser extent. So monster we're kind of getting all confrontational, all in their fears, kind of rocking a little bit of niggle like proper enterprise stuff.


And um and there was it was kind of summarized a little bit by Dylan Day and Pharrell kind of rocking and getting that turn over reasonably at the start. But then Lenzer just went right. Well, that's all well and good, but we'll do that, but just will not make a big song and dance about it. And then we'll just outsmart you with a little bit of thinking behind her is like, oh, I just it it just looks like more of the same again, to a slightly lesser extent, because I think Monster or Ozzy did well to score his drive, whatever he got his try, it just looked like I thought Leinster looked as worried as I've seen them in a long time.


Yeah. I think it would be interesting to see if they come up against each other again in the competition. It'll be a serious battle again. Um, I thought fire was exceptional. JJ did well, very well, cooked brilliantly and yeah. Had made some good parts. But as you said, I thought Leinster just looked like they were they were managing this and very physically. Um, but yeah. Wasn't to be. I watched it with, with Russ with my grass and he was so arrogant for when they were scoring tries and scoring points he was like, yeah, that's pretty.


Whereas when we were monster scoring I was gone. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. I think that came across. He was like, oh yeah. Monster worked hard for their tries and they finally got over the line. LANSER Oh you know, I think it's time to score it. I think it's time to do something really clever here. And it goes over and it's just it looks not effortless, but definitely doesn't take as much effort for Leinster to kind of get the better monster.


Great to see it back, though. Yeah. Thoroughly enjoyed the match today as well. Um, they look good. I think they came I was just mad for old think the cartel's done the opposite, but yeah I think so. I thought they looked, they looked like a side. We've got rid of the deadwood but not a couple of guys who were going well for them. The likes of Courbefy or um, Robert Copeland, a couple of guys who were going well for them.


But they brought in a number of young guys and it just looked like they they got another little bit of energy from that, a little bit of young kind of enthusiasm. And they were just happy to be throwing the ball. They looked really sharp. Their skills were brilliant. Bondie was racking and people he put on some seismo. He looked enormous. Does that curry for the try over back in Maddigan? Jase, I love that. I love how and how much thought and analysis goes in to be much of manipulating the defense and hitting the field and, you know, trying to find a way to get some space.


But he goes well at the end of the day I'm a lot bigger than him. So yeah, give me the ball and run over the top of him. Yeah. Maddigan was reasonably valiant in his attempt but still on the just and he just smiles and laughs and just the beard is brings a lot of energy to the whole team. Yeah. Yeah. The beard is particularly impressive now Gerard Butler man I think he's qualified for, for Ireland now.


Right. He was going really well. I mean he's people have kind of overlooked him over the last few years, um, maybe not realizing that he's he's potentially going to be an Irish player, captain and kind of posing a sort of shift every single game. Yeah. Um, and just looks like a leader ball player, just one of those dirty sevens. He kind of seems to get that up to thirty, gets the break all the time.


This is the same, though, Paul Boyle. Yeah, he's the system like his stats are through the roof. He gets more turnovers, um, more meters per carry. His data, like we would have got to stats back for, um. The game today, and he's top of everything for African it yeah, and Wooden was brilliant, look really good, which I think was man of the match and a very sharp imports. Trees are actually brilliant.


So I thought there defensively there and they handled us there for the majority of the game. It was like, wow, they're they're kind of handle everything they throw at them. And then McClosky made a break I think might have been just before halftime. That's just what he can do when he can just change the game. So he's quick, so powerful and he's runs good lines just a little over. He's made a break, almost got his hands free.


And I think they get a try from, uh, got that one. Then you got the oh Stockdale's scored that a little over Australia, got off bellybuttons off that and that kind of thought that might connect my kind of limbo to that. After that, they empty themselves for the first forty, fifty minutes but also set pieces a bit off of it. Yeah well I know it wasn't great. Yeah. Um, difficult enough to uh Rob Harring didn't get to start the game in the end.


Yeah. Change up the hooker obviously Handey normally calls a line out and Ilocano went off so there's a lot of disruption there. The line up was a little bit iffy last season anyway. A little bit. Um, so it was going to be tricky, but yeah, Leonard struggled. Scrum was OK. Nice to see three young fellows at the end, Tombouctou, looks like and he's getting there. He's still a youngster and he might be twenty one or something but he looks so physical whenever he matures and it could be, the season might be next season.


I don't know but he's going to be incredible. Four out and he's going to be the starting tight head at some stage can. Yeah there's been talk talking scrums. Mike Ross was I can foaming at the mouth. Sure. Thrown open his see, leaning forward is like a good you sexy Pawni wanderin basti. Yeah. Yeah. I was, I was good on him and explained it to me. Tocumwal none the wiser about to look. Alster I think they've got their energy problems well which isn't easy for them starting off.


Hendee getting that knocked last week. Farrows was brilliant for them last year. I think the missing him and of course Will Addison who has achieved this thing that I want to put in every time I mentioned with Addison. Can we put in a Whitney Houston song here to try to settle of this? I don't know if this is like kind of street level, so maybe keep it on the down low. But at Addison.


So, yeah, when when he comes back and I get full fitness back in the pitch, it's going to be interesting. But who knows when that will happen because it's a it looks like the next few weeks is going to be ferocious. So there's going to be a lot of players dipping in and out of this. Full squads will be needed. Yeah, but they're already done. Already handing out Sean Redesignate and Luke Marshall is going to be a few weeks, hopefully Marshall's.


I'm sorry. Um, yeah. Rob Harring, hopefully Callicoon this time as well. Yeah. Um, I think if this had been a couple of years ago, I think Ulster would have been in trouble. They don't have any depth, but no, I think they can survive a little bit. Well, today's not a good reflection of that. But these games are meaningless for Ulster anyway, since Edinburgh beat. Yeah. Glasgow yesterday. So so they'll just use these as an opportunity to get a bit of game time, little bit of momentum and then go into Nocco.


Yeah. Dormi, any, any penguin correspondance that might relate to rugby that we can tie this section up with. OK, I've got one here from Jude over calling for Cod. Jude asks, Do you think Rob Karenni will get a recall after his brother injury and after Laramore failed to field most of monsters? Bokser kicks and the you didn't try and clean up the mess that went into character and brackets. As I see.


Uh, I have I have some thoughts on this Jacob play fifteen for Ulster this weekend and I don't see that as a short term thing. I see that as a long term with massive potential and, uh, change up that could be viable for for Ireland as well. I think, um, Lahmar struggled a little bit on the high ball monster, got a lot of joy in that area. And it's just by contrast, because Carneys so he's been so consistent for so long, I don't know I don't know if they'll go for a recall for him, but it's it's his first game to be fair.


Larmer and he had so much value elsewhere. I'm sure he'll sort that out. But anyway. Jacob, I think, could be the one to compete with him for a place to make that less straightforward anyway. Yeah, I love stocks out of 15 and always had struggled position Lee before. But like I remember, Rob Karenni struggled with that massively back when he first started. Those took Rob a while. He was given the opportunity to grow into that position and made it his own.


And, you know, Jacob, still a young fella, give him an opportunity to make it his own. He's got all the credentials. And I love when you see an attacking sense when he hits the line at 15, he hits it with so much power and pace and he gets his hands free all the time. He's doing that for the Lord's last year, creating lords around and he looks like he's giving stiches nodine. He I don't know if by the sheer terror, all of us I can imagine him like a gang member would like the top on buttoned up.


And hey, Holmes. Yeah. Like a tattoo of a teardrop. Yes. Does that mean he's a drug dealer? Was that means he's killed someone. Teardrops for how many people you killed? Vagal. Yeah, I think it looks evil. I think it's I think that's a good look from a I wouldn't fuck with them like massive as well. I think Mike Brown, I think the shaved head and Mike Brown wonders for years, his tough looking buy me sign me up.


So I'd sign off on that. In terms of kind coming back, playing for Leinster could be viable option that Adam Burn is injured at the moment as well. So the two two top wingers out, Ferguson, Fadden's now just three on. So they'll be going into the the younger players, maybe even positionally moving fellows around. So, you know, they've got a lot of depth to put. That could be a viable option for them. You know, he's still more than capable of doing a job for them.


So, yeah, get back into the Benchley's to maybe they've got to lose this again. So it could be worthwhile, as you say, getting them in there even for a half. He would be he'd be coming back in because of the injuries. He wouldn't be coming back in because Lahmar, you know, a slightly off day in the ER because first game back, I think that will be put to one side and he'll get on. There's too much value for what else Lahmar brings in there.


So again, will you be careful that we're not doing what a lot of rugby journalists do? I'm totally overreacting to one element of performance, but yeah, totally like Sari's with paper. Erm though that's the only thing that they've going to be, you know that's, that's an area they go after them. Yeah. And to be fair, that's a massive strength of Jacobs. He gets in the ER and he's really big in the area, dominates the space and he's got a massive leopard as well.


Brilliant. Thank you for that question and keep them coming. See we can do that as well.


We've got it all OK. We just did. So looking forward to next weekend already. Magic. OK, we're going to take a break and come back for.


OK, welcome back to part three in this part is all about the penguins, it's all about you. Thank you for your correspondence during the week. Last week, you gave you a task to come up with some hilarious nicknames and stories, and we got a massive response. Thank you very much. We'll go first to a few nicknames. Did you have any who's who's your favorite nickname in Polster, let's say? Um, Chad is probably my favorite single, Chad, because he looks like a fat American child.


Chris Henry, that is perfect. Was just a little chilly. Jolly little American. Yeah. Just in a pair of board shorts and bleached blond hair and sunglasses and then, um. OK, next up, we have a fractioned. Conroy said her boyfriend, schoolfriend, was called Chile because her father was called his father was called Conconi be to I like this.


Um, she also said that she dermo you became an instant legend, classic star with your quality voice cracked last week. Her father in law, Larry O'Halloran, thinks that his father is in a region of fight with my boyfriend, Larry Ohala, and thinks his father was an original quality boy. Highly possible, but he could have also been in the CIA. Oh, uh, yeah.


I was just the there there are mystically kind of, um, movements. They kind of they roll around in packs, but no one really knows them. They're old enough to see if it's the CIA and they're into the town and the car is damaged and the guy no. Knows where or what just happened here. Uh, Quilty, please.


I don't know if he was legitimate CIA agent. He's not great at it. Surely the first module in the academy, the CIA Academy, they don't be telling anyone.


And I don't see in the van diagram the two circles, one quality boy, one CIA. I just don't think they overlap. No, it wouldn't be much to do down and quality as a CIA agent. Yeah, unless it's to investigate the guilty boys or Donald Trump.


Uh, sure. He's only down the road. Oh yeah. That bell by his over and Doonbeg up to no good. OK, just didn't love him. Don't wait to build was a man. I met a fella down there who works in the in the in the golf club in Doonbeg and I hadn't seen him since Trump took over the hotel and Trump took over America and Trump ruined the world. I hadn't seen him. So I went down there.


Well once the crack was Trump like and he goes, he's a legend.


Yeah, he's a legend. He's gas crack like he's I, I was there for fuck man. How much is that fucker paid. All we had. He should have signaled me something I can see he's listing now. Another one we got was he's a friend called many. And why is his friend called many. What. His full name is actually mini fridge. Because his brother's name is Fraser. Three players know someone did get on with and assess when our penguin merchandise is hitting the shelf because they want to know how to identify themselves as penguin or as a pothole when they're running around the place, which is a very good question.


Yeah, I had an exchange with a penguin today, actually, so I arrived early because I planned to get down and find a little coffee shop and do a little bit of research before the Connett, the ostracod, it came out. I was walking around the street to look. I looked a bit aimless because all the coffee shops were closed. I like change direction in the street, which always makes you look a bit marred. And this car pulled over beside me and I thought they were going to be looking for directions.


And straight away I was. I'm not. I'm not. Do I look do I look like I older dude. Um, and then your mind just goes, um, it's me.


It's a track from the Facebook group and I hate what I think it was, was can I help you? What's the story. And I'm sure I come straight away though. I did I did resemble track. Uh, yeah. It's another nickname that it's not difficult to see. Why do they call you track? Because the only ones that didn't get. So he so he helped me out at any point to put him in the direction of a coffee shop that was open.


So that's a penguin. This is the first step towards this kind of this this membership club that we talked about last week. This is like the stonemason's all over again. You will find a coffee shop. I know a coffee shop that's just penguins. Only just down there in the right hand side. Knock three times in the door, say penguin backwards and we just fall out of. I'm at a penguin yesterday as well. I was walking up a flight of steps in mines and this fire just goes high.


And I was like, you are the fella from the podcast.


You hate my friend. He's the winger for Belvedere. You hate him. And I was like, I don't know anyone from Belvedere. Right. Who do you do you hate him? You always go on about him. I think it must be the of I must be Tranby. Do you hate anyone for for. No Dermody. I was there. I don't even think he knows who Belvedere there are. I think he'd be like what. Belvedere if I asked you the what's available.


It sounds like a dark chocolate sweets but this guy was drinking at four o'clock and a house party and then loads of people came out because then it became those people come out clear clearly all day drinking, man, he's a penguin. I could easily go in if I wasn't 38 year old father of the bride to be would be in there. Frank in the tank. She should be lauded all the penguins, the minions from that movie. And I'd just like to vomit into their mouths and they just regurgitate in their mouths, chug a load of like what do they call the cake?


What are they when you chug a stain, a beer, when you put the dolls in, what's that fucking called again? Follow phone like, you know, the beer is and then they all get in their hands and knees and you just vomit up into them.


Barney, Barney, that guy Barney. Yeah.


So I agree. But back to the Penguin merchandise. Oh yeah. I wish I wish that he so he identified himself as a penguin. It's generally most people who say I'm a penguin and think we could take it that they are in the club and especially whenever he specified the Facebook group. But in future, I'd like I'd like some way to identify him if he had a if we could launch our our first line of of Penguin merchandise. And I think the first one would be a mask.


A penguin mask. Oh, genius. Just a beak with tiny little really badly done fake monster logo like your dad used to. And or maybe if it's like a monster but spelled wrong.


So you get to wear Mr. Wilson Rocchi but they have to have the little penguin eyes as well. Yes, I think so. Are we going full face masks. Yeah. Eyes over the eyes. I think you're your eyes would be where you're where you're not where your actual nostrils beat the penguins eyes would be there, OK? And the beak would be where your mouth is. OK, that's it. So we'll get them produced and we will. Yeah, we'll put them on on the website and the Facebook and the things.


That's a great idea. And OK, those folks will not be as cheap as listening to this. Let me tell you. Uh, well, the way to run a business by. No, it isn't. Is it committed for free. OK, we got a message from someone in New Zealand who said that the stadium in Dunedin was actually called the zoo, the Highlander Stadium. Apologies, that was it. And he also said this is having a great time in New Zealand.


Thanks for sending four for making his life way better than just him sitting at home on his own in his underpants. It's better that we listen to it. So thank you. Frankie listens to us. Frankie. Jesus Christ, Frankie. Thank you, Patrick. Um, and then we've got another guy in Canada called Body who has been hilarious. Send us messages over the last few days. And as a general, Gus Faucher, thank you very much for all your messages.


And that's yeah, that's about it. I'd say they used to call Tommy Tiddler. Why is that? Uh, no particular reason. I think there was a bunch of Mathari fellows who every time Tommy was planned, they were like, oh, Tytler player. And then elbow to elbow, it just became available. And then one of those fellows that made his way into the squad, uh, youngster. And like he would have been meeting like Tommy, you know, he might even have thought he might have been shy or kind of in a bit, but not as good as well.


Tiddler and told me that it would wear off and like six months later, every time this fellow told me it was like hosting a tiddler Tom, I was like, if that guy calls me Tytler, but one more time with them, I think I told you this before with a friend of mine. Uh, God, he loves what I'd say when I tell this. He got Botox in his face, didn't want anyone to know, but it leaked.


And his name was, um, Tommy.


And the second Tommy boy is great.


Wow. Uh, so, look, more and more and more correspondence I've got I've got to from my friend Fatemeh. Oh, yes. Oh, these are goals. I'm going to play the audio from them because it's just he's got away with. He sent me them on as a WhatsApp voice memo, so I'll play them here. A best nickname.


And Money Glass is there's a fellow called Spoonhour which is concerned there is a bit of an agent, but when we were younger, he got a flat tire and faxes, flat tire and his bicycle with a spoon. So the spoon.


So, yeah, the I've been thinking fucking flat out about nicknames. Oh, more in here. There's not a guy from round home here who is called Butter Jazz. And that was when we were young. He was trying to get something from behind a gate and he got his head stuck him to get any butter. His jazz he called butter jazz. I like Easter like he's in his thirties now. He still called butter jazz, like, fucking brilliant.


I'm so glad we didn't try and read this. The accent. Yeah, you may have pulled it off, but I still don't think you would have no delivery was very, very important. Thank you. Film. That's a thick dairy accent for me. Yeah. I just look forward to spending less on a glass. Well that's that's the kind of stuff we want. Send us those things with Tasaki again while we give them this week. I'd like some help with my silly little trim, silly little bit of direction.


OK, I feel like I was a wee bit too realistic this time. I'd like to get carried away with naivety about how the world will be put to rights and we'll all lived happily ever after subtask me Tuscola and don't be afraid to go dark as well. Don't give me what he wants. Make it hard.


We would also I encourage, as you alling, our celebrity crush is about getting them on a show like Lady Gaga or Jamie Doorjambs. Jamie Dornan or Mesko. Yes, on a Paul Mesko. Get him on the show a for days. A lot of days. He's well on a to turn to me the other day and she was um. What do you get, are you getting any gas. And so I talked about I don't mcclosky cuney um couple of rugby players.


She goes, no, I'm not listening to Paul Masakela. You get on to me that I glad. What's the chance of getting that ball as a zero Feighan touring with the Rolling Stones. They were hanging out. Yeah, well, you reckon. I think I think you might want to see to lose them. Yeah. So if anyone's credibility anyone support all those people on social media, please do send them our way. All righty. Any predictions for next week's games?


Strong. I put your money down. Let's start batting. I think we should be gambling on these shows. I want to put it like this. I think that's what is going to make it more interesting for me and make me really want to decide who's going to win. Yeah, OK. Um, I well, my prediction is that both of next week's fixtures will be, um, won't be great. I think it's going to be dry enough to have enough in play for Lenzer.


Another play for definitely that game anyway. Munster's to see him unless I get beat anyway. Um sorry to negative again. My prediction is that you two are so extreme. Know naivety Ulster. Bye. Sorry Ulster Leinster.


Leinster obviously by thirteen and uh Carnap by two. Oh get out of town. Yeah. Uh I think Munster are going to get a bonus point next week against Connacht, but they're going to steal. Play well, I'm going to go monster to put Tarty on a book 30 20 about Steinmann Drayman and he'll just wrap up his branches. And yeah, he just he's a fucking solid piece of oak, no little ECL is going to stop a two year old, 50 foot tall, solid piece.


OK, good, big he we used to call him the big ginger wildling.


Yeah. Looks like him to do what we had last year when we had we did use the big ginger wildling because we could never remember the character's name.


They have to do or Stoneman's Dambrot some for a really, really good.


OK, yeah I got that when I go with I'm going to go with us to beat then I'll give you that thing to put thirty four points them and Leinster will get twenty nine or maybe a cracker of a match and and ok there you go. Load offloads. All right. That's been us. Thank you so much to our producer extraordinaire. Dairymaid for all your things. That's been very, very, very enjoyable show. Think we colored a lot of uh Palis.


A lot of our palates have been colored. Lawsie coloring pencils, slaughter crayons, colored everything all over our faces.


That's in the paint, in the jurors faces, in podcasting, again, under control, like, you know, Tiger, I'm like, oh, you're an elephant. In today's safari, you have two point guards and the home covered in blood. And you and I both worked here.


There's been bottles and penguins next week. Good luck. Goodbye. On.