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[00:00:08]

You are listening to the Reality Steve podcast with your host Reality Steve. He's got all the latest info and behind the scenes juice on Matt season of The Bachelor and interviewing some of your favorite reality stars. Now, here's a reality, Steve. Hey, hey, hey, what's up, everyone? Welcome to podcast number two. Twenty four. I'm your host reality, Steve.

[00:00:39]

Thank you all for tuning in. Got a good show for you today. First off, we're going to talk about what's going on about your nation and then for our weekly segment with someone from the Temptation Island, Season three couple world, it is Kendall Kirkland. He's come under a lot of fire after these first three episodes, so we talk about him, about his journey, how he got there and some of the stuff we've seen up through three episodes.

[00:01:04]

We'll get to that momentarily. A lot to get to, though, starting with Bachelor Nation and for the first time I can remember in two hundred and twenty four podcasts, I'm actually recording this open on the morning that I posted because I wanted to have my thoughts on Chris Harrison's interview this morning on GMA with Michael Strahan.

[00:01:27]

If you haven't seen it, I've put the video up on my Twitter feed. It'll be in today's column and you can check it out there if you missed it. I'm just really disappointed in the whole interview. I mean, so robotic and rehearsed, I mean, all you have to do is listen to how Chris spoke with Rachel versus how he spoke with Michael Strahan and it's night and day.

[00:01:54]

It almost literally looked like Chris was looking down into the left at his notes. It just didn't seem sincere, it seemed so scripted, like we all knew what he was going to say, I'm sorry, doing the work or whatever, and he said all the things we expected him to say. But even Michael Strahan at the end of the interview was like, yeah, that was about a surface level as you can get.

[00:02:18]

I will see you got a guy obviously wants to keep his job. And look, Chris said when we expected him to say he's now working with a race educator and strategies even throughout the name Dr. Michael Eric Dyson. And that's great. I mean, that's what we expect Chris has to do to do the work and. Kind of unlearn these thoughts that he's had in his head for forty nine years and it looks like he's doing his best and that's great, but he can do all that and not be the host of the show.

[00:02:56]

Like if you bring Chris Harrison back and assuming you bring back the same production team and as we'll get to momentarily, Katie is set to be The Bachelorette. What exactly has changed? And here we are over three weeks removed from Chris Harrison's interview with Rachel Lindsey and the show and the network, neither the show or the network.

[00:03:20]

Has addressed any of this and said this is our plan going forward, this is how we're going to address matters here, here's what we're going to do about our vetting process, whatever the case may be, it's unfathomable to me that this show and the network has not addressed this and said what their plan is going forward. It's. It's it's unreal, but I'm telling you, just like Ashley and I discussed on Tuesday night when we heard Chris Harrison was set to do an interview with Michael Strahan.

[00:03:58]

To me, that was he ain't going anywhere. Like Chris clearly went on the show today and even said, I want to keep this job and I plan to keep my job. I mean, that's not his decision. It's ultimately ABC's decision, but. I mean, if they're really interested in making change and they're really interested in diversity and moving forward and not having their franchise associated with racism, I don't know how you bring this guy back at this point.

[00:04:29]

So they either take a stand and are like, yeah, we're doing things different and it starts at the top, our mouthpiece of the show is now gone, or you just continue with status quo and like, yeah, I mean, put it this way.

[00:04:42]

If Chris Harrison hosts The Bachelorette. You're telling me that he unlearn everything in one month? His interview with Rachel was on February 9th. He starts filming Bachelorette, that'll be around March 18th to the 25th somewhere in there. OK, so he took he took five weeks off and now we're supposed to believe.

[00:05:04]

He's all set and ready to go. He's done the learning he's needed to do. Makes no sense. It's frankly embarrassing, so. But I mean, I can't I have no idea, I don't know have any idea if he's hosting Bachelorette or Paradise or whatever, but. I don't think he's done with this franchise. And the fact that ABC still can't make a decision or announce whether or not he's coming back, if and or when makes me think that he is, it's just a matter of when they're going to say he is.

[00:05:41]

So it's unfortunate. So just moving forward, we'll see what happens, but. It almost like seems like this was the start of the Chris Harrison rehabilitation tour and it started on GMA and we're going to hear him in other places, I'm sure Chris is going to go on Rachel's podcast. And he's going to have to lay it out there and apologize and say all the things, but I look. For this show to move forward and if they really are.

[00:06:16]

Interested in making change and like, we can't keep the status quo. Just bring in a new host. It doesn't seem like that's where it's headed, but I guess time will tell. All right. I want to talk about the finale and the ending, obviously. What I reported earlier this season, you know, Matt chose Rachel at the end, and the only other thing I really had about the finale ending was he let Michelle go early. And that was it, and then two weeks ago, I said Matt and Rachel have broken it off, they are no longer together.

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So I have this in today's column. It's going to be up on my Instagram story and my feed. But verbally, if you're hearing this first. Here's the breakdown of how the rest of the season goes, so the overnight dates, Bri, Rachel, Michelle, we all know Brie goes home at the rose ceremony after the overnight dates. At some point after the final three rose ceremony, they bring Matt's dad in to talk to Matt really affects him.

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A lot of you have asked, you know, did Matt know was given a heads up that his dad was coming in? I don't know. My guess would be that they didn't tell him his dad was coming in because they would want a genuine reaction from him when he did. And I think we got that. But I don't have the exact answer as to did Matt know if they did tell him? Was it ten minutes before he showed up?

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Did he know a couple of days in advance?

[00:07:44]

Like, I don't know. So at some point after the final three rose ceremony. I think after that, actually, at some point, he meets obviously we saw the clip last week, he meets his dad, which I had told you about a few weeks ago now. Or down to the final two. Rachel and Michelle, both of them meet his mother on the night portion of his final date with Michelle, she gives him some jerseys for the two of them, however.

[00:08:15]

That's when he breaks it off with her, basically says he loves Michelle, but he's not in love with her. The old I love you, but I'm not in love with you. And Michelle suspects that it's Rachel. And, you know, it's because Rachel and he confirms it. And the next day is supposed to be Rachel's final date. You know you know how this goes.

[00:08:36]

They meet, meet the parents, and then the next day each get a final date. Michelle gets hers at the nighttime sports and he dumps her. So the next day is supposed to be Rachel's final date and it gets canceled. I guess the break up with Michelle and, you know, meeting his dad kind of all catches up to him. He's emotional and basically doesn't know if he can continue doing this. And so. That that morning where I was supposed to be Michelle Rachel's date.

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It's canceled, Chris shows up at Rachel's door and says it's canceled, Matt is just confused, doesn't know what to do. So the day the day they were supposed to be Rachel's date, nothing happens the next day. I mean, at this point, the show is clearly making you think that Matt's going to leave the show single, that's that's the hook because he just ended things with Michelle. So there's only one girl left, it's Rachel.

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But then he cancels his date with her. So they clear they want you to think he's going to end the show single. The following day after Rachel's date was supposed to take place, Rachel gets a letter under her door from Matt. Apologizing for canceling their date the day before and basically the letter says to meet him at the lake where they had their overnight date, when Rachel arrives at the lake, it's set up like a final rose ceremony.

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She tells him how much she was hurt by the fact that he canceled the final date.

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You don't run from love going gets tough. All this stuff. Matt tells her at this final rose ceremony he can't propose to her, but he loves her and he can't picture his life without her. She accepts the final rose, they leave as a couple. There's no engagement and there's no promise ring either. So the part about the promise ring that I report a couple weeks ago that ended up being wrong, too. There's just nothing. It's essentially an agreement to continue dating.

[00:10:33]

So polls show a couple of weeks ago, after spending Valentine's Day weekend together, Matt broke it off with Rachel. I know there's a lot of stuff out there in the media. There's people from his side talking to people from her side, talking. I don't really know. And I haven't really gotten a clear answer of why Matt broke up with her. I mean, I guess we'll see what he says on the after the final rose, which tapes tomorrow.

[00:10:56]

What I do know is after their last weekend together, which was Valentine's Day weekend, and then it continued, I think it was a full week together. From what I was told. They spent a full week together that covered that crossed over Valentine's Day weekend. Right after he got back, he broke it off with her. I haven't heard anything in regards to him getting back with Michelle Aubry. That's not going to happen at the final rose ceremony.

[00:11:21]

So don't expect that there's not going to be any reconciliation with Rachel. As far as I know, there's this latest rumor going around that he's been hanging with Heather Martin. There's nothing to that throng. I don't know. I mean, people look at Instagram stories and see the same location and think that they're dating or they're seeing each other. They're not. So no worries there. I haven't heard anything of the such. And I don't I don't buy that for a second.

[00:11:47]

So that's where we're at with the. What you're going to see the rest of the season. Yesterday, the news broke that I posted the spoiler that it's going to be Katie for next bachelorette. I expect that announcement probably to happen tomorrow at the after the final rose. But I was told it was happening in the next few days.

[00:12:10]

And I was like, OK, well, it makes all the sense in the world to be after the final rose. Katie hasn't posted a thing on Instagram or social media all week, pretty much because she's in quarantine in L.A. and doesn't have her phone. And it's like, well, there's no other reason for Katie to be in L.A. and quarantining if they're not going to announce her as bachelorette at tomorrow's after the final rose taping.

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Not to mention I had three different people tell me. Yeah, it's her. So initially on Women Tell All Taping weekend, which was February 4th, I had reported that she was going to be The Bachelorette. Then everything happened in this franchise and went to hell and I was told they're back to the drawing board and not going to be her. They they're going in a different direction.

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Well, apparently, when they go back to the drawing board, they still decided Katie was the one. I guess there's a possibility that it never changed. And the info I got in the middle happened to be wrong. And they were just never going off. Katie, they were just putting the decision. Out a little bit longer and waiting to announce her, I guess that's possible, but the bottom line is this, Katie, it was going to be Katie after we until all weekend.

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And as I reported, and now it is. And it's going to be her and we should be hearing that announcement. Either it's going to come down at the after the final rose taping, which will air on the night of March 15th, or we're going to hear it come down through some other means and she'll be announced that way. But. You know, I have no problem with Katie is The Bachelorette. I'm fine with it, I do think they could have with everything going down, they absolutely had a great crop of women anywhere between, you know, Abigail Piper, Michelle Berry, who went missing.

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Abigail, Piper, Michelle, Bree or Serena, you know, and Serena throw her in there, too, if they were to with any of them, I think it would have been fine, Katie.

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OK, you know, I get that the angle. You know, we got to remember every time they pick a lead for the show, they're always thinking about what's our what's our theme, what's our storyline? And clearly, Katie is the 30 year old sex positive girl. There's going to be a gazillion, you know, dildo jokes out of the limo on the first night. And there's going to be a lot of sex themed dates like the show loves to do anyway.

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So now they got the perfect girl for this for this role. Like I, I get why they're putting Katie in there. But you had other choices that you could have gone with and. You know, it's it is what it is, it's whatever I think they could have done someone else am I thinking Katie is the worst choice ever for Bachelorette? No. So fine.

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I just think they had a they could have and they should have probably recast, like I heard they were going to and they didn't. So we'll be hearing that announcement coming momentarily. And just to wrap things up, you know, there's a lot of there's a lot of things being said behind the scenes.

[00:15:11]

I don't know when The Sun became the ultimate tabloid, when it came to this franchise, it seems like so many. It seems like The Sun is releasing a story every single day. And it's like, Matt, sources tell us this. Sources close to Rachel tell us this. It's like. And it's almost like contradicting information, and I don't really understand. I mean, they're just putting out content every day to get clicks, I guess. But, um, there's going to be stuff coming, I believe, you know, after after this breaks tomorrow with the after the final rose.

[00:15:46]

Hopefully I'll hear something before the finale airs in terms of what happens at the after the final rose. But. I. There's just there's just so many things that are kind of happening that I'm I'm kind of confused on.

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Like I said, I still don't know why Matt broke up with Rachel. I think it's I it seems like it's because of her of everything that's come up about her and.

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It was. Something to wear, I just think this guy, the P.R. hit that he would take if he stayed with her, played a major role. I think production played a role in just kind of hearing how things are going, but. It's tough to know I want to hold judgment until I find out what happens at the the final rose and what and what he actually says and then just kind of take it from there. But, you know, we'll see.

[00:16:43]

I think there's. While we know well, we know how the rest of the season plays out, we still need to see what happens at the after the final rose and then.

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With Katy's announcement coming as bachelorette, I think that there's going to be some things come out coming out there from former contestants, not former contestants from Mat's women, you've already seen some of it online after the women tell all aired on Monday that. You know, I don't think Katie was everybody's favorite in the house, which the edit she got showed the complete opposite. So you've already seen people allude to it? I've heard things here and there. Don't know how much truth there is to it, but certainly seems like there's something there because there's a lot of women and from his season that aren't seemingly posting positive things about Katie.

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And it'll be interesting to see when Katie is announced as The Bachelorette. How many are.

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Congrats, girl. You go, girl. Kill it, girl. Let's see how many of those posts show up on Instagram and from who and who stays silent, because I think that says a lot, because normally when the announcement is made, a lot of the people in that person's on that person season will congratulate them. I'm curious to see how many people congratulate Katie. Because I've heard and look, not that she's a horrible person or anything like that, I just think she rubbed people the wrong way in the house from everything that I'm hearing.

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And some of the evidence of that is on Instagram captions this week. So we'll see. We'll see who congratulates her.

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We'll see who makes shady comments about it and we'll see who says nothing. So expect that going forward, but. US going forward in this podcast, number two 24. We're still talking Temptation Island. We're going to have someone on from Temptation Island every week, I figured I wanted to get you out the exclusive spoilers for the rest of the season and what to expect going forward. And and so I didn't have a guest this week. And now in terms of a major main guest to start out with, because I'm always going to have a Temptation Island guest on until the end of the season, which is another nine weeks or so.

[00:18:50]

So last week, Tom and Chelsea from the show this week, Kendall Kirkland, it's a good one podcast number two, 24. OK, everyone want to talk to you about ritual rituals.

[00:19:01]

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[00:19:49]

I've started with ritual. It's a great way to start my day. It makes I just feel better. And I've never been much of a vitamin guy until Rachel came on board. So get key nutrients without the B.S.. Ritual is offering my listeners ten percent off during your first three months visit ritual dot com slash Steve to start your ritual today. OK, let's bring him in. He is one half of the Kendel and Erica couple on season three of Temptation Island, airing Tuesday nights on USA Network ten nine Central.

[00:20:21]

It is Kendall Kirkland. Kendall, how are you doing? I'm doing well, man, I'm enjoying the season so far, liking everything that I'm seeing and I'm feeling good. So before we get started with things that have already aired, I as I spoke with Tom and Chelsea last week, I want to go over the kind of the background of you guys and you in particular. First off, just on yourself, where you grew up, your schooling, what you're doing now.

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Just give everyone a background on Kendall Kirkland that we just don't know from watching the three episodes go to Guy.

[00:20:53]

Yeah. So I'm from San Diego, California, born and raised. I went to college and I went to San Diego State and Aztek. Yeah, I got my degree in public administration. I have my real estate license as well. I jumped into the training sphere. So I'm also a certified personal trainer and I started some online coaching with personal training. And I also have a few automated businesses. I have a credit repair business as well. And I really just dived into entrepreneurship over the past three to four years, just trying to scale and create different avenues to really grow.

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Well, nice you are. So you're twenty six and Eric is 25 or is at 25 and 24.

[00:21:32]

So now I'm twenty seven. Eric is twenty five. OK, so twenty seven. OK, so you were twenty six, twenty five on the show and you I guess since then had to work.

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OK so. Kind of how did it all start for you guys, I guess, with you and Erica, how did you guys meet and how long has it been again that you guys have been together? And so right now, it's been about three years, Erica, when I was in Vegas, I was on a guys trip, Erica was on a girls trip. We had a mutual friend and his friend was with her friend. So they met up.

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And, you know, Erica was there as well. I've seen her come down the escalator and I was like, OK, I can I can work with I can work with that. So we ended up talking that day. We ate, we laughed, we talked. And then ever since then, we just been communicating every single day and sort of growing and building a relationship. So it really spawned off of a friendship at first because I wasn't expecting to jump straight into a relationship with her, but we just really liked each other.

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We really liked the qualities that we had and we just got along so well.

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And how did the casting come together for you guys? Were one of you reached out to did were you approached as a couple? How did it happen for you guys in regards to the show? And then what you were were you familiar with Temptation Island? Had you watch either of the first two seasons when you first were approached about it?

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Yes, so I've seen the opportunity online, I decided to submit a we were going through a season where I felt like we both were just having so many different problems and I thought the opportunity would be great for us. I seen the show in the past. I didn't watch the full season's episodes. But actually looking at and watching the season is a lot different than being there after going through the experience. But I thought it would be great for us.

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I think it was going to bring us clarity. It was going to give us the answers that we needed. It was going to be a different approach to things, because in our daily life, we're always inundated with emails, phones, text, different things that life gets in the way. So I wanted to see, you know, with time apart. Do we actually want to be together long term? Because I was really here to I want to be with my partner long term.

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I wanna get married and so forth. And and I want to just make friends with the right person. And sometimes, I mean, there are so many issues that we both questions things at times.

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So you said you were the one that, you know, saw it online, approached it when you came to America with it. What was her initial reaction to this?

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Initially, when I told Eric about Sensation Island, she was like, no, I'm not doing that. That sounds crazy. I would never do something like that. But after, you know, we went through the whole interview phase and she started understanding the whole concept of the show, she's seeing how to potentially bring us value by being in such a different situation. So she was open to it after some time.

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So when you get to Maui and you first set foot on the island and you guys start meeting the other couples, I you know, I asked I asked Tom and Chelsea this. So I'm going to ask you this in regards to the other couples.

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First off, I want to I want to know what your first impressions were when you first encountered Julian and Kristin, Tom and Chelsea and Carina. And so, first off, when you first saw Julian and Kristin together, do you remember what you first thought? Yeah, I thought that they had a great chemistry. I felt like they looked good together, they look like they mesh really well. I was excited to get to know them. And, yeah, I just thought they looked like great people.

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And how about Tom and Chelsea? Very smooth, very, very easygoing, Thomas smiling nonstop. I already knew he would get along and after, you know, just small conversations, I could tell he was a thinker like how I am. And I was looking forward to talking to him as well.

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And then and then Corey and Aaron Gordon. And they're great. They also live in San Diego. So we had a lot of similarities, just very easygoing people. Like I felt that we had a great group. All the couples just I felt that we met as well as the whole unit. Is is there.

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Was there one of the guys of the three other guys when you first met them? Is there one of them that when you first saw them, you felt either? Is there one that you first said, I definitely think I'm going to vibe with this guy and then on the flip side, was there a guy like I think I might need a little more time with him before maybe I see us getting along?

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I mean, when I first in Julian, I thought that, OK. Seems like he's I mean, we're both like you look like you get to play sports. You know, I was interested to see his background. And in regards to first look at anybody else, I didn't feel like there's anybody I wouldn't be able to get along with because, I mean, I feel like I'm even the person to talk to. And everybody just seems so approachable and welcoming.

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So what would you say? I mean, when you're talking about your your things with Erica and you know why you went on the show, what would you say, I guess, was your biggest?

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I mean, obviously there was probably a few factors here and there. But was there a number one factor that stuck out in your relationship with Erica? That's like I think this is the reason we need to do this.

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For me, the number one thing was us really being at a place of knowing what we both want in terms of life goals, aspirations, drive and being fully compatible in every sense, because Eric is a great woman inside and out. I love everything about Erica, but I feel like sometimes our wants and values kind of shifted, sometimes based off of our season of the life. I feel like there is moments where I wanted to grind up on the hustle.

[00:27:02]

She felt like I was too hard on her at times and I was too abrasive. But I'm trying to explain her. I'm doing a lot of things that I love because I want to make sure that we can have a great future together. I want to I'm doing all of these things for us so that we're not worried about things in the future. And sometimes I feel like her mindset was different than mine. So I feel like going to the island, we would be able to see if we actually wanted the same things out of life.

[00:27:24]

So to me, that was a huge just underlying thing in our relationships, like, hey, do we both want the same things or the both compatible in the way that we think that we are?

[00:27:32]

Yeah, and I mean, I guess like you said, like Marcus said, when he's sitting down with you guys at Bonfire, it's just like, you know, there's there's things here. You wouldn't be here if there wasn't some sort of issue. And you guys you guys have yours and I think. You know, for you, you first started out and, you know, going back to episode two, yeah. Episode two, you know, you seem to vibe right away with Alexis and you know, there was the Angels and Devils Party and we saw what we saw.

[00:28:04]

And, you know, it was you know, some people are really taken aback by that and really bothered by by that. I think one of the other things that that kind of plays into that before we jump into that is this idea that you and I going to take. You and Erica came to the island and you guys had no rules, whereas some other couples said, you know, when I talked to Chelsea last week, she said no kissing, nobody in bed and no sex like there's Tom.

[00:28:32]

Does any of that seems like she's she's done. So you guys came to the island with no rules. Explain this. This conversation of we don't I don't want to put any handcuffs on you. You don't want to put the handcuffs on me. Explain that to everybody.

[00:28:47]

So for me, the whole ideology of no rules is to truly see what the party wants to do. So with the whole party having fun, turn it up like we had a great time. And I feel like there are times in a relationship where we always had so much structure when we came into this. I didn't want to have structure. I didn't want her holding back or doing or not doing something because she didn't want to. Like if she truly finds a connection with somebody and she feels like someone's a better partner for her.

[00:29:13]

I say that you should, you know, be with that person for me. I don't want to make her feel like she couldn't fully enjoy the experience and dove into the experience. So no rules is the only way to me that makes sense. If you go in there with a preconceived notion like, hey, I'm not going to do this and I can do that, there's no way you can fully dove into the experience and then you're going to be leaving the island with regret.

[00:29:32]

I don't want to leave the island with any regrets. And it's better to say sometimes, oh, I wish I should have. So that was my idea with the no rules. And after explaining it to Erica, she completely understood where I was coming from and the whole experience was was miraculous.

[00:29:47]

So obviously, I know that the online community can be harsh and people are of everything that we've seen through her episodes so far. I'd say that you're probably taking the most heat. And there are people that are saying Kendall came on the show to basically cheat or not. Yeah, I mean, you get you know, what people are saying, Yoovidhya, you address this on an Instagram story for a little bit that, you know, just like, hey, let's let's back off the the judgments here.

[00:30:22]

When you made that explain exactly what you were trying to get at when you were telling people, hey, let's let's let this play out. Let's not jump to conclusions here. What were you trying to get across with that?

[00:30:34]

So basically trying to get across is people don't really know what I bring to the table or who I am, Minarik, I have so many different things that make our relationship so great. And although there are lapses, no one can judge me or think that I'm a narcissistic, controlling person. That's what people are saying. Like the reason why we are here is to be able to get to know other people and fully diving into experience. So when it comes to my decision making on the island, if I'm saying no rules, there should be no reason why you should be judging my actions.

[00:31:04]

That makes zero sense. And I'm the type of person that can can make a mistake. I can own a mistake and then I can make shifts. And I want to learn certain things for myself as well. So I don't want to hold back. I just wanted to fully dove into things. And I'm just really not worried about other people's opinions. Everybody is going to say that they know what it takes to be a good man. But if you sit Erica down at any time of the week, any day, any time, whatever, she knows who I am.

[00:31:31]

She knows my heart and she knows that one action or one snippet or one puzzle piece of the things that you see on the show is not truly the person I am all the time. Like, I'm a fun person. I like to do things and all that, but I'm not the type of person is intentionally going on the island to cheat or to hurt Erica. We had a lot of conversations leading up to the island. I didn't expect things to escalate with the, you know, the devil, the angel party and have fun so fast.

[00:31:56]

But the experience on the island is like one day is like a whole month on the island. So that that's just the main thing. I want to get across anybody that's judging me and saying I'm there to hurt or she deserves better. You don't know what she's getting for me. She feels emotionally fulfilled, spiritually fulfilled, financially fulfilled. I she feels safe with me and I never want to control the woman or I would have put rules or stipulations of experience.

[00:32:18]

So I'm here to to grow and I want her to grow as well. And that's just what I have to say. Yeah.

[00:32:24]

And you said, like people have mentioned online, calling you a narcissist or whatever, is this something that has ever come out of Erica's mouth to you?

[00:32:34]

There is there's times where it's come out in spurts, but I don't think that it's ever been a consistent thing. I think that it's really just not seeing eye to eye on certain situations. And I feel like there's times where I see in the future a little faster. So I'm always forward thinking. I'm always thinking three steps ahead. And if I'm letting her know something, it's I don't really care about the things that I do. I want to put Erica first.

[00:32:59]

I want to make sure that she's taken care of. Everything that I do is in her favor. So sometimes it can be seen as narcissistic because people don't know what it means to truly have someone that cares about you. There's so many personal situation that we went through where I had to jump through hoops just to make sure that she was taken care of and do things that men normally don't do. And I think a lot of women, when you have a man that's able to lead a handyman that knows how to lead you in the right way is is a plus.

[00:33:24]

So although a man makes mistakes and you might be a minister of light and on a certain pedestal, you should never judge a matter of him when he's down. No, no, human is perfect. So there's times where she didn't see eye to eye or she might have thought, oh man, this is narcissistic behavior. But after looking at certain things, she sees that I was actually really trying to do things in her best favor when the devils in Angel's party happened.

[00:33:46]

Like I said, you seem like you connected with Alexis. You go on a first date with her in Tuesday night's episode. You go on a second date with her. And, you know, clearly we'll get to the date in a second. But just tell everyone what your initial I mean, obviously, we only see snippets of hours and hours of footage on the show. Why did you connect with Alexis over any of the other eleven girls that were there?

[00:34:13]

What was it about Alexis that initially draw drew you to her and continued for you to ask her on the second date? Well, Alex, it's very easy to talk to, I feel like her intentions were pure from the get go. She made it very clear that she was interested in me, interested to get to know who I am. My story and our conversation grew every single day to be able to talk about just a bunch of different topics.

[00:34:38]

And I feel like really comfortable with her. And our first date went well and I just decided to take on the second date.

[00:34:44]

Or was either of the four. I mean, obviously they showed on the first date you're not a professional swimmer.

[00:34:53]

So were you were you a little were you actually at some point, like, I don't even want to go in the water or were you cool with, hey, as long as I have a jacket on and a little water weenie or whatever they're called, you know, what's the we were you were you intimidated by that first date in terms of the water or were you like, yes, I'm good, I can do this?

[00:35:14]

So that's the first day I've never been in my life. Oh, so I never jumped into open water. I've never been in water over 10 feet or anything like that. So I was going to get in the water at all. But after talking to Alexis, I feel comfortable going into the water. She knew how to swim. She helped me out. And then once I got into the water, I felt a lot more at ease and I felt more comfortable, but initially looking.

[00:35:37]

And I was like, I'm not doing that. There's no way you can get me in the water. Everybody else is jumping in, diving in. And I was just kind of stand on the sidelines and she would sit right there with me, like, if you want to get out, we can you don't want to get in. We don't have to get in. So I don't want to jump out of my comfort zone and get in the water.

[00:35:51]

And I'm glad that I did.

[00:35:52]

And then on and on Tuesday's episode, I remember you guys talking on land about, you know, kind of where are you going to go with this relationship?

[00:36:01]

What was the daytime portion of it? Was it was a kayaking or something like that paddleboarding. Yes.

[00:36:05]

Yes. So we were we were doing kayaking. We had a barbecue. We were playing games on the beach. It was back in the water. So it was a little it was a little crazy at first. We were racing, you know, Tom and Sophia, we were having fun. We were moving out in the water again with another water activity, got some great content. But it was it was fun. It was another one of those days where I feel like I was comfortable that once again, we had some great conversation.

[00:36:31]

We just had a blast.

[00:36:32]

And then obviously that night time portion is pretty much what everyone's talking about, how the episode ended on Tuesday.

[00:36:42]

First off, I got to say that I think one of the funniest. Parts about the ending of the episode with you and Alexis in the room and stuff like that is the fact that you hadn't put up your ironing board yet and it was just kind of there.

[00:36:59]

Did you notice that? What were you earning?

[00:37:00]

What was are you sure your pants look like this? Are they iron my clothes every single day on the island? I saw my pants, everything. So, you know, I left it out. It was a busy day. I was moving and grooving all day. I seen people coming for me for the iron. But, you know, they move fast on the island. So I didn't have time to make up my bed and put up the iron.

[00:37:20]

But, you know, if somebody could see me in my natural habitat and not judge me for that, I'm normally the clean guy. So I don't like stuff all over the place. I'm not a caterer and I value those things. But I just didn't have the time because I was so busy moving around. Yeah.

[00:37:34]

So when Alexis goes back to your room. Is it something where you were like I mean, obviously we don't know what happens next episode yet, I mean, people can pretty much assume that I guess she probably stays the night, but is it something to where you were like, I don't want to. Like, I'm I'm fine with this progressing as we get deeper into the show, but I mean, I think at that point it couldn't have been more than a week in real time on the island yet.

[00:38:02]

So was there a part of you that's like this is too early or were you just like, hey, I'm just going to kind of go with the flow here?

[00:38:09]

Well, for me, I was well, we had agreed to these activities as far and I wanted some more time.

[00:38:17]

So before all that, we were actually talking for about an hour. So there's times where there's so many people, there's so much chaos. We were literally just up there talking at first. So people are seeing the end of us talking after we left the festivities from downstairs. So it wasn't like, hey, I want you to just jump in the bed or do something like that, because I thought from the get go, my goal is not to do anything special with anybody on the show or during this whole experience.

[00:38:41]

I just want to get to know people, you know, have fun, enjoy the experience for what it is, and kind of live every day, day by day.

[00:38:49]

So what was your like when I spoke to Tom? I mean, basically, I told him and after watching, because I had only seen the first two episodes when every Tom and I was like, Tom, the impression I get is your goal for coming to the island was I want to prove to my woman that I could go through this. I want to prove to Chelsea that I can go through this without cheating and or without and show show her that she can trust me.

[00:39:16]

And I'm not the flirt that she makes me out to be. And even though I do flirt, at the end of the day, I'm still coming home to you, Chelsea. So I guess my question would be, what was your ultimate goal at the end when you when you set foot in Maui from the time that you left, what did you want to accomplish when you got there? For me, I really wanted to get to know some of the ladies in the village.

[00:39:41]

I wanted to see if the things and the way that I carried myself and the way that I expect excellence sometimes can work with somebody else or some I ways just off the charts or unbearable. So I wanted to just really assess myself, get to a different level of self-awareness and really come in tune with who I am as a person and just learn and grow from each and every day and from the experiences. And I also wanted to see if what me and Erica had could last long term.

[00:40:10]

And if she's truly the person I need to be with for the rest of my life. So it wasn't just to go there and to jump and mess around with somebody else or to cheat on her or anything like that. It really was to Soul Search.

[00:40:25]

What do you think Erica's mindset was going in with you? Do you think that she expected the same in return from you or her own behavior? Where do you think Erica's head was at as you guys stepped foot on the island in the beginning?

[00:40:40]

I feel like it was it was just so new to her. I feel like she's at a place where she wanted to have that separation and she wanted to do things on her own. Their final decisions come into who she was as a woman and be able to solidify the things that she wants out of life and out of a relationship and make things more concrete, because although we had a great situation, there's still some things where we didn't see eye to eye, which is really just some long term things and how we view life and how we viewed the world and things that we wanted to do.

[00:41:08]

But after going through the experience, I feel like she's learned and grown a lot. And I feel like she also wanted to gain a lot more confidence in herself. I believe there's moments where she didn't feel confident in our relationship based off of some things I wasn't doing. But for me, I don't think any woman should put her confidence or her level of where she is in life on the man. I feel like you should come into the relationship as a whole and the man should come as a whole.

[00:41:33]

And you guys should be to hold people in a relationship together. You guys should grow and love each other together. And I never wanted to pull away from Erica. I never wanted to take away from her experience. And I hope that she got everything that she wanted out of these women.

[00:41:47]

So we saw the end of Episode two in the beginning of Episode three was kind of the cliffhanger of Erica at the bonfire and just really struggling with self-confidence and kind of maybe even what she wanted out of this. When you saw that first bonfire of her, what went through your mind?

[00:42:07]

For me, I wasn't really worried just because it was just a kid sitting in Vivan and talking to her day and oh no, I know actually I actually met the when you watched the episode and you saw her struggling when Mark after after Mark showed her your clip.

[00:42:23]

Oh yeah. Yeah, that. Oh yeah. It was it was rough watching it. It was, it was rough watching it. Yeah. It just, it just evokes something out of me because it just showed that she really cared about me in a different sense, that we just have a different connection and that things that I do really impact her. Yeah. And I didn't want to hurt her throughout the experience. I didn't want to break her heart or anything like that.

[00:42:50]

And that was never the goal. That's never been the goal. But also seeing a different person. And I see her changing after that because I seen a shift. No, I hear you. I mean, it was she was obviously probably affected the most out of any of the women out of the first, you know, seeing the first bonfire clips. And it's just seems like she was kind of in her head and not fully confident in, I don't know, just maybe your relationship or where she felt like she was in a relationship.

[00:43:18]

Because I think the over are the. The consensus seems to be that you're running the show in the relationship and Erica doesn't have a say in much. Yeah, so your response to that is not true. Yeah, no, not not at all, so I defy Erica every single day, I let Erica know that she's amazing, she's the conqueror issues in Overcomer. She can do anything that she wants to do, anything that she puts her mind to.

[00:43:43]

But I'm also a practical person. And I tell her, although you can do these things, things will happen without application or without work. So that's what we kind of bumped heads. I never like taking control of a relationship because this is an aspect that I don't want to take control of. There's certain things that I want the woman to lead. It's great to be the man in the head of a relationship, but I like a woman who is also strong as well and can hold her own.

[00:44:04]

And then we can also come together and we can collaborate and do things together and be stronger together. So there's times where I feel like I was pulling the weight on my own and and she wasn't doing things that I feel like she could really help. And there are times where she probably felt like she wasn't feeling appreciative of the little things that she did because she always made sure I was straight. She was made sure that I was good at anything that she could do within our power.

[00:44:28]

She felt like that was never enough. I always wanted more. Control is once more. It was more. And there's times where I had to take a step back and I had to look like, hey, maybe I can be a little bit more appreciative. Maybe I can't acknowledge a lot of the little things that you're doing because I love you inside and out. I love to move back like I don't want you to feel like that. And I didn't always realize how I was making her feel just by not acknowledging certain little things.

[00:44:51]

So now that was some issues that we dealt with. But I never just wanted to take the lead. I always did everything I could to make sure that she knew that she had tolerant of an issue as well. But I feel like she didn't really believe it just due to internal things and insecurities and her own confidence.

[00:45:06]

Do you think there's part of that? Part of your personality just comes from you know, I've I've had a personal trainer before and there's somebody that, you know, constantly pushing you and telling you that, you know, it's just just some of the stuff that you've said in your answers about things not coming easy. And, you know, especially when it comes to working out, it's you know, you're going to get out of it. What you put into it.

[00:45:28]

I mean, stuff like that seems to be coming across in your vernacular. And I'm just like, OK, it kind of makes sense some of the things that you're saying, because you come from a a fitness training background, because you don't get you know, you don't get to where you are, you know, the way you look body wise by by not pushing yourself and not working harder. And it seems like when you say certain things about Erica, it's like I think you're saying I think maybe I'm wrong here, but you're saying that maybe that she gets complacent in certain things or things.

[00:45:58]

She expects things to come to her as opposed to grabbing the bull by the horns herself. Is that.

[00:46:03]

Yeah, yeah. That's that's an excellent interpretation of that. And that's where we kind of bump heads, because in a lot of areas, she told me that she wants to do certain things. And as her man, I want to do whatever I can to support. If you're telling me you want to start a business, you're telling me you want to go on this trip. OK, let's let's make it happen. Let's let's put boots on the ground and get the work done so we can do whatever we want to do this, have a prosperous life with love each other, do everything that we can.

[00:46:30]

So I feel like there's a thousand times where we're going to have one actually came to sitting down and doing things and putting the work in. And any relationship you want to have a partner who is resilient. You want to have a partner that you know, you can go through trials with, that you can get through things with because so many people fall and fill when there is one instance or one one mess up or there's one bad thing that happens.

[00:46:51]

And to me, that's not life. No, no, no relationship goes up in an upward trajectory without anything falling down. So and I know the way that I approach things in a way that I think sometimes can be very matter of fact. And I've been getting better at even mentioning things like I always want to say a few positive things like, hey, you know, you're doing great with this. What else can I do to just be available to you and said, hey, that's not good enough.

[00:47:14]

You're never not good enough. I never told her. She's never not good enough. She's not beautiful. She's not smart. Those words have never came out of my mouth. But I feel like the way that women process things, sometimes I just need to be a little just even better with just making sure that she feels special with just the little things that she is contributing and doing and every asset.

[00:47:34]

Well, this final question might be tough to answer because you can't give anything away but the rest of the rest of the season. I mean, I guess. Can you tell us something to what we can expect, you know, not results wise, but just on your journey for yourself, what we the audience can expect coming up in these next remaining nine episodes of. Yeah, you can definitely expect to see a lot of fun times, a lot of new experiences for me, very new experiences and a lot of times where I'm able to express and talk about my feelings of my emotions and opening up more.

[00:48:13]

I'm the type of person that never really liked opening up emotionally. And I wasn't always emotionally available for women because I didn't always trust women. And for me, it just takes a lot. And I really have to see something special in order to want to open up emotionally and be vulnerable. And that's something that we also struggle with as well. So throughout this whole journey, you'll see me get vulnerable. You'll see me peel back the layers a little bit, and you'll see a person who's evolving and you'll see a lot of things that might shock you, too.

[00:48:44]

Yeah, I was going to say I mean, I think that's for everybody that goes on the show. They probably are stripped down to a emotional core that they probably never had to strip down to before in their life. But when you're stripped of, you know, television, phone, books, reading, and it's just you talking to other people and also sitting in whatever you want to call them, professionals, ERTMS, you're forced to talk about things internally that maybe you've never talked about before.

[00:49:12]

So it's good to hear that we get that come in. It's good to hear that. You got to that point. And clearly, we'll all be watching. It's certainly going to be interesting, especially the beginning of next episode. We'll all see how that kicks off. And Kendall, I appreciate you coming on, man. Good luck the rest of the season, even though you already know what happens. But I appreciate I appreciate you coming on and and giving everybody a little bit of a more of an in-depth look at Kendall Kirkland.

[00:49:40]

For sure. Thank you, I appreciate you. Thank you for having me on. If you need anything else to reach out, let me know. This is exciting. I hope everyone loves the season. You know, keep keep the judgments away. Just watch yourself. Enjoy the show. This is real. Everything that you see is real and you definitely see some transformations. Got it.

[00:49:58]

Thank you very much, Kendall. The problem? Thanks so much to Kendall for that. I know a lot of you have been critical of Kendall and you have every right to be they those were his answers and you just kind of go forward from there. Obviously, we still have nine episodes to see and they already have released a clip for next week where the women have a talent show. And Alexis, her talent is. I think making the first move and she just goes up and tongues Kendall in front of everybody, so it's clearly it's clearly starting down the road of Kendall and Alexis have a thing.

[00:50:33]

It's just a matter of how serious it gets. Does he leave the island with her or does he dump all this stuff? We just we just don't know. But. You know, those were those were Kendall's answers and. I know a lot of people are already critical of him, so now that you've heard him speak, are you still critical or do you see things the way he sees things? I think everyone's going to be different, so take it from there, but I thank you for coming on next week.

[00:51:02]

Hopefully I'll have Erika on. That's who I want to get on for next week's podcast. So we're always going to have a Temptation Island podcast guest on in addition to someone else or in addition to me talking bachelorette stuff. So thank you to Kendall for coming on.

[00:51:18]

Please subscribe and review an Apple podcast. Much appreciated. We are back next week with podcast number two 25. But until then, for Kendall Kirkland, I'm reality Steve. Thank you all for tuning in. And we will talk to you next week.