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And I heart radio, we bring you the best podcasts from the Ron Burgundy show to the Breakfast Club to stuff you should know really all of today's biggest names. But each of these shows started with an idea and now we want yours. We're looking to you for the next great podcast. Simply go to the next great podcast, Dotcom, to get the details and submit your pitch will select up to 10 semifinalists and give them a thousand dollars to produce a pilot.

[00:00:29]

Then listeners from across the world will vote on their favorite to decide the next great podcast. Enter today and next. Great podcast, Dotcom. That's next. Great podcast, Dotcom. Why shouldn't the next great podcast come from you?

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Hi, I'm Heidi Murkoff, host of What to Expect, a new podcast from My Heart Radio when I first wrote What to Expect When You're Expecting. My mission was simple to help parents know what to expect every step of the way on what to expect will answer your biggest pregnancy and parenting questions about everything from preconception planning to birth plan. Newborns sleep to toddler tantrums. Motherhood is the ultimate sisterhood, but it can be overwhelming if you don't know what to expect.

[00:01:20]

Listen to what to expect on the I Heart radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Pay, I'm Jada Pinkett Smith and this is the Red Tablecloth podcast, all your favorite episodes from the Facebook Watch show in audio produced by Westbrooke Audio and I Heart Radio. Please don't forget to write and review on Apple podcasts.

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You're presenting yourself as a Venus. I just felt like due to come to the tables, you know, why not have a little feminine, you know.

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So what do men really think about love to find out? I have two friends coming to the table. Both are very talented and very different.

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Actor director Justin Baldoni is married with two kids, but he says it didn't come easily. And Grammy winning rapper while is ready for his perfect match but is skeptical it will ever happen.

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Hey, you too. I should wear my sunglasses. We're glowing, we're glowing up to this, it's just the energy because you all that like the same person, but like it's not in it's like very powerful. And it's like this table is like glowing, like X-Men exmormon.

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No, thank you. I appreciate it.

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Today, we're going to be trying to get to an understanding of what love is about. We think we know how to love. That's the thing we think that we come into relationships with somebody that you really like and you think that person knows how to love you and you think you know how to love them. And the truth of the matter is you have no idea. And the excruciating part about it is really learning what love is and what love is about.

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I recently had a revelation like. I really think maybe it's time to. Have somebody that's. A bond with somebody really, I think because I'm doing all of these things, it would be fun to do with somebody that wasn't me.

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I just came from person and like, I'm like walking around and she's in Paris like, you know, like for myself.

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Yeah. I like. What's up with me? Is it me? No, no, no. It it's me. It's me.

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What does this mean it's me. It's been something that was really, really love and it wasn't me. And maybe they shaped it to be what I've become. Right.

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I'm really trying to deal with the things that I've messed up with and just try to figure it out because I want to see nobody just always myself like a vampire.

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I can't do that at the moment. Now I feel, you know, here's what I'll tell you just personally. In my journey, what I had to realize was that I had to find all the peace, love and joy within my heart.

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In order to bring it to the table, to share, Will had to go away and find the peace, love and joy in his heart to share so that that's what we share instead of our traumas from our childhood, you know, all of our insecurities and fears that we usually come to the table with in our relationships to have our partners fix. I need you to be this thing for me so I don't feel a certain way.

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And what I'm going to do is I'm going to put so much pressure on you and find really sneaky ways to manipulate you so that you will always be the thing that I need you to be, so that I'm happy.

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I was raised my hand, but what can you run for, president of love, but the partnership that you talk about, that's the goal. That's the end of the tunnel. But industry, a lot of times the wealthiest, most known person in the room is usually the loneliest. I got famous in D.C. and that's like I seen how women were like acting around me. And I think it shaped how I viewed women moving forward. Yeah.

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So I'm like, OK, if they changed how they were acting towards you, you got to say yes to a rapper. And it's like all I see is promiscuous behavior. All I see is, oh, my man played for this team and his wife cheated on him for somebody. But I'm seeing this first hand. And then I fell head over heels for somebody in this industry. I seen how vicious it can be and how gutted I was. I was never really I was never really the same.

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Our industry, entertainment, everybody moves on so fast. Yeah. We can't even argue about it. Right. Can't we argue two days later you on you in Greystone with a four string running back, right. Exactly.

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So when you talk about girls, young ladies, any conflict, they're gone. Exactly. So whoever is wrong, whoever is right, doesn't matter. You can't even reconcile. You just go on to the next one.

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This is interesting because I've heard so many women say that about men, that it's not a lot of men out here that want to have real relationships about relationships because relationships take work.

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The best description of marriage I ever got was from a good friend of mine who said marriage is two people that take a lifetime full of Yeah, I take two people and you bring your you're like twenty five bags.

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Yes. I mean this person brings their twenty five bags of it and then you all put it in the front yard and that is your foundation for your house. That is, it becomes your fertilizer for which your marriage can grow. So we're not trained to think about it now. Right.

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But it's lovely. And like two sentences, sometimes it's really hard for me to talk about it, because being at a stage of where you are looking for a relationship, looking for someone to create a foundation with versus someone like myself who has done it for the last twenty three, twenty five years because there's evolutions to it.

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Yeah. Yeah. Right. You think it is. Right. And then when it grows to be what you learn.

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So I'm twenty five years in and my concept of love is very different than what it would be with someone looking, looking for and ready for a completely different spectrums though. Yeah. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm not looking because if I'm looking I could go and go to a Starbucks around the corner in Calabasas.

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Oh, you want love me, but like you know, like like that's looking ready for is like ready to love India.

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Are we ready to love.

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You know, what's interesting is I know a lot of men that are our age that say they're ready but don't necessarily back it up.

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And I don't think it's just in the entertainment business or what, you know, and I don't think I think everything that you talked about, your experience as a celebrity is very similar to the experience that a lot of young women and men are having.

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I disagree. Disagreement. You know why if I take out a woman or if I'm kicking it with a girl without anything.

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There's a part of it that turns into an interview like this, and they're so enamored with the business that I'm in that they're not really seeing me as a person. Mm hmm. Even you, your celebrity, if you follow and you tell them what you're going to experience, that and you could tell when somebody is looking at you like a woman and when they're looking at you like a statue like.

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But I think what Justin is trying to say is that at the core of it, at the core of it, it's a human issue that's happening right now.

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And I think it's a symptom of you talked about instant gratification. Thank God your finger wasn't around when I met my wife.

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So how did you meet your wife after a year of, like, just soul searching and patience and and trying to figure out my life? Coincidentally, she had been through the exact same thing. Wow. And we met in the business that way. It was not easy. Hey, I'm Andy, if you don't know me, it's probably because I'm not famous, but I did start a men's grooming company called Herries. The idea for Harrys came out of a frustrating experience I had buying razor blades.

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Most brands were overpriced, overdesigned and out of touch. And Harry's our approach is simple. Here's our secret. We make sharp, durable blades and sell them at honest prices for as low as two dollars each. We care about quality so much that we do some crazy things like buy a world class German blade factory. Obsessing over every detail means we're confident in offering 100 percent quality guarantee. Millions of guys have already made the switch to Herries. So thank you if you're one of them.

[00:10:14]

And if you're not, we hope you give us a try with this special offer. Get a Harry starter set with a five blade, razor weighted handle, shave gel and a travel cover, all for just three bucks plus free shipping. Just go to Harrys Dotcom and enter four four four four at checkout. That's Herries Dotcom Code four four four four. Enjoy. And I heart radio, we bring you the best podcasts from the biggest names, Ron Burgundy, Jack Chelsea Handler.

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Yup, just love him, too. And the one thing these shows have in common, they all started with an idea and now we want yours. We're looking to you for the next great podcast. Do you have an idea for a podcast? Let's hear it. Any genre, any topic. We want your voice. Pitch us your show for a chance to share it with fellow podcast fans across the globe and become a part of the I Heart radio podcast family.

[00:11:11]

Simply go to next great podcast Dotcom to get the details and submit your pitch in partnership with the creative platform toggle I heart radio will select up to 10 semifinalists and give them a thousand dollars to produce a pilot episode that listeners will vote on. Their favorite to decide the next great podcast. The winning show will be made by our best in class production team and shared with listeners all around the world. Enter today at next. Great podcast, Dotcom. That's next.

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Great podcast, Dotcom. Why shouldn't the next great podcast come from you? Yeah, nothing is eating nothing, but the dating process was at times like painfully horrific.

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Yes, my wife and I, we went deep. It was uncomfortable. We realized we wanted different things at times. We weren't sure if we were spiritually aligned. We were completely different countries. But I jumped in and I said, this is me. These are flaws. These are my insecurities. Like this is this is all of the things that are wrong with me.

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And she wanted to walk away and I kept chasing her. Right.

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So there was there was a balance. She needed space. I didn't understand what space meant, which because we worked through it, ended up being the foundation of a beautiful, healthy marriage.

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But I have so many friends that are ready that jump into these things at the first sign of conflict.

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Yes, they're out. And I'm a social media. Social media. We are. But we had a buffet. We had a buffet now. Right. I don't like the broccoli. Asparagus, exactly like asparagus. I just the potatoes.

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It's quick now. It just.

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Well, what you do with his camera, I have no idea what he wants you to do because I know you look for love.

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I want to tell the camera exactly what I want in a woman.

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I want to hear this. That's what I actually want to hear it.

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So, yes, I want to hear if you even though I want a woman to show me what I want in a woman, that's what I want. You don't know what she's I don't know. I want to lead like a women. I believe I believe their intuition is stronger than men's period.

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You want a woman to be to tell you what you want. There is no need to be my friend for real.

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Like loyalty is is very important to you and understand. And because I am not a regular man, for better or worse, my, my my bad is bad. My good is amazing. So you need someone to understand that I'm crazy pretty much right.

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To be patient with your crazy. So you want a woman, but that's loyalty. But it's also someone who's bringing something to the table, whether emotionally or other.

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Right. Not just somebody. This is going to be take, take, take. I was stabbed in the back by people that I grew up with. I know so little about somebody that I'm just not getting well, let alone is somebody that. No, our first date feels like an interview.

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It's an emotional desert out here. People think that love equals satiating all of their pain, the tragedies that they've been through in their life. It's like a little puzzle.

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I love how you're supposed to say she ain't even from like daddy issues from being left abandoned. But here's the thing. It's it's the facade of love, too.

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Yeah. And the sacrifice. When you love someone and continue to love them, the sacrifices each of you have to make. Nobody mentions that part. Let me tell you.

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So talk about sacrifice, the deterioration in the dissolving of fantasies, that's the real and.

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Elaborate on dissolving the families.

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So you right now have in your mind your perfect woman. OK, and when you find that woman, she's going to be a goddess to you. But here's the thing. I always feel like we fall in love with the goddess or the God within that person. And then when we actually meet the human being, then we got to learn how to love that one. And this is when the reason why it's so important to me to be able to stick it out is because to really get to the true meaning of love, in my opinion, it is unconditional.

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It has to be because we are all too flawed, like it can't be.

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I don't matter how much work we do, no matter how much it never ends, never ends the day that we leave this planet.

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Exactly what somebody has learned your buttons. Right. And like now they get the rocks off by pushing every single one of them. You've got to go. You've got to go. Because this person has learned me for the wrong reasons. You're going to be with somebody they don't learn. They're going to learn what to push regardless. Some people use it for the worse.

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Something like I know his buttons, but let me tell you something. That's the stuff you get to work for. That's it.

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That's that's not that's not there's nothing that's that's not blissful about that. But those who said that relationships and love and marriage will always be the way you want to see this is the misconception right here. Well, you wouldn't want to give it up unless you it it's a spiritual endeavor.

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That's the whole thing. I have to look at my trauma and you're pushing my buttons.

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That's making me look at my trauma and what I need to work on and clean up your own stuff, you know what I mean? Because, one, it's you should know. But what can I tell you? I like your buttons and everybody got buttons. The first of all, that that's an opportunity for you to work on you. It's not always working on you. I always come here to work on her, too.

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I feel like this is an intervention. Listen. Federal intervention has almost no, no, no role because, you know, relationships matter, they show us ourselves.

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I mean, that's what I've learned so quickly.

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The things that you don't like about somebody are things that you don't like about yourself. That's it, though. You better preach calm. I'm a little numb to all that because of what I've seen in my career and my life when I feel like you're starting to press these buttons to get something from you getting on my shirt now.

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I totally I get that because I think that we have two options.

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When you're in a relationship, you can look at things through the lens of fear or you can look at things through the lens of love.

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And I think that every decision we make in a relationship can be boiled down to going down one of those two paths, either a fearful reaction that comes from a place of lack that comes from could be anything or love, which is like I'm going to hold that or I'm going to respond to that in a way that isn't my own stuff or my own fear and what I realize in my own marriage, because I can only speak for myself and what I witnessed.

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My parents been married for thirty five years. Wow. By the way, like, their marriage wasn't perfect either.

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And I got to see that one.

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In your life, did you start to realize that your parents marriage had an effect on, like, you as a man?

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My name is Langston Kerman and I love black people. I love them short. I love them tall. I love them thick. I forgive them when their bodies are small. The only thing I love more than black people are the conspiracies that black people come up with.

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So I, along with the beautiful oppressors that I heart, radio and big money players have a brand new podcast called My Mama Told Me where each week me in a special guest will explore all of the deep and twisted conspiracies that the white man doesn't want us to know about. We'll talk silly conspiracies.

[00:18:37]

We'll talk crazy conspiracies. We'll talk conspiracies that you learned from that uncle who used to wear jean shorts when he went swimming at the public pool. Anything from baby urine as an acne treatment to lotion being a tool for government mind control and sterilization. Ladies and gentlemen, I don't want to be your president, but if you want to hear what the president is hiding, that AIDS vaccine and listen to my mama told me starting August 18th on the radio app, Apple podcasts or anywhere else, that podcast.

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Hi, I'm Heidi Murkoff, host of What to Expect, a new podcast from My Heart Radio when I first wrote What to Expect When You're Expecting. My mission was simple to help parents know what to expect every step of the way on what to expect will answer your biggest pregnancy and parenting questions about everything from preconception planning to birth plan. Newborns sleep to toddler tantrums. Motherhood is the ultimate sisterhood, but it can be overwhelming if you don't know what to expect.

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Listen to what to expect on the I Heart radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Because I never saw my I never not journey both my parents and I, I grew up very, very. My mother was always gone.

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My father was always German cabs. So a lot of it come from TV, right? Hyper difference. Like I'm saying, like you you can watch Martin and try to understand what a relationship is like when you get older and you go home, you don't see your parents even hug nothing. Honey, I'm home. What is this? Honey, I'm home. I don't know this until see come home was like a business.

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Almost any Nigerian person is watching this right now.

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And it's like we love our parents. We love our parents to death, do anything for our mothers or fathers. We don't know the dynamic between both of them. We don't know this dynamic. Three generations, the one time.

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Oh, no way it's going to happen. It's not like we're not friends, per say with our parents. I could count on one hand how many times I've even heard them say I love you to each other, let alone me.

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But you know what? But I know that's a huge thing because I didn't realize that's what I saw in my twenty twenty eight.

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I was like, oh, I now understand why I have this, like, weirdness with like, you know, trust and emotion and listening and all of these things.

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But that's the whole thing. Let's say you met a woman, right, and you told her that story.

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I'm not I'm not good with love because I was never taught by my dad how to express it because I never even saw them kiss like right then.

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And that would make a difference right there for women that are watching you just out of the love.

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I just and not because I like it.

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Let me just let me just man to man and just tell you something. It is so beautiful to see another guy, especially in your situation as a rapper, be willing to be that vulnerable. You just said, look at how imperfect and flawed I am.

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Here's all my know. And that is the best place to start to look for us. But sometimes I like to keep that like I know that I'm so damaged in some ways. I don't want to bring that to nobody created.

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I want to bring it to I love what you do with it anyway. I kind of keep it. We all do it. There's no way around it.

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I grew up in a single parent home and didn't see all the time healthy relationships. I had to figure it out too. I came to the table with a lot of pain. I came to the table with a lot of brokenness and most of all I came to the table with some hard core daddy issues and it made me really angry towards men. I have very high expectations, so I was hard.

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I could have ended up with all kinds of dudes. The way I ended up with Will, I had to change my whole perspective because I want you to know something. He was not the do right, but I had to change that.

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I can't ask somebody to be for me when I'm not willing to be for them.

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And what I realized in my partnership with Will was that I was asking him to be a lot of things for me that I wasn't willing to do for me.

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I was having and sometimes one person's trauma, like, triggers the other person's trauma. And you get into the circle where no one can listen to each other.

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And that's something that nobody ever talks about, is still out on both sides. And that was something that my wife and I dealt with right at the beginning of our relationship and marriage.

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My insecurities triggered hers. Yeah. And then at that point, it's so easy to leave.

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Right. Like, well, we're clearly not compatible. Right.

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What was it about her that made you want to pursue her?

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I think it was us together. Yeah, there was a deep knowing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, right. Even when my ego acted up and said I should leave, I couldn't. And I'll be very honest, before we got married, there was a part of me that right before we got married questioned it. Yeah.

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And I went, am I really ready to settle down. I started calling my friends. I wasn't sure. And my friends were all like, You're being an idiot right now. And they told me the truth and they said, this is your ego talking. And the second I got past that, I found the knowing again. And I was like, yeah, this is my person. So no matter how painful it was, there was something that told me to just stay and to just be steady even when I was going through it and sobbing in my room all night long.

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And I'm saying that because I want everybody to know that, like, you look at my Instagram, you see all of us happy. But I'm very, very clear that there is so much more to marriage than just this smiling at the beach.

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And look, look, I'm telling you, there have been several occasions where you just had enough and you want to leave.

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And I just couldn't or will just could because we knew this is what is meant to be this partnership, no matter what the form it is, you know, because we've had to redefine it, reform it, you know, change it. We don't call ourselves married anymore.

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We're in a life partnership. Did you see that in your parents?

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I definitely did. One hundred percent.

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That's be why you're so what you are. I mean. Grounded. I would just be in the room while they were debating about whatever it is about the world or their emotions or the environment or politics or whatever it was, and I would just always be there watching them and how they talked to each other, watching how they agreed to disagree. And at the end, it's like, you know what? We're not right or wrong. And I allow you your opinion.

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Exactly. And I feel like watching that over and over again just kind of solidified this idea of like. It's really not about right and wrong. It's about understanding, and once you understand somebody and how they're feeling and what their view is, you can move on with more ease.

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Preachers, you have that understanding. But those are the steps towards love. Those are the steps towards really building love. And it's so freaking difficult and so freaking excruciating.

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And sometimes you think it's not love, but it is if you watch his back.

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It all sounds so painful.

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So every time I was thinking about this. Let's listen. I don't want to see this movie.

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No, I did it. But I just think that love is supposed to be like this big like, OK, I understand you want say I me, you're you're my balance. You're my you're my anchor. You're my all the things that you say at the altar, why can't that be the one entity that is bringing you joy?

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It's an undeniable emotion that you don't have the work to get it.

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I'm scared now you said, well, you should be the biggest question right now.

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Is it worth it? Is worth it? Is it worth it? It's absolutely worth it.

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Wow. Why?

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Because at the end of the day, to know that you have another person like that can love you for all that you are.

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Will has loved me through the worst of myself and I have done the same as somebody can love you in that way.

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It makes your faith in the world come together in the way of which is like I am. This is in all is well. I'm forty seven years old, and I want you to know that this is probably the first year of my life that I can say I am happy.

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Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Mm. Because that's how long the journey has been, so that journey isn't too bumpy for some people I get. Let me tell you, that's real tough. But here's a one thing I want you to see, too. You are learning how to love when you think about all that conflict that you have within your spirit is almost like being in kindergarten of love.

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And you want to get to like a dick, it's like climbing a mountain. It's like do the work and then you see the beauty. Yeah, please hear those crazy. Yeah, thank you. From the mountains and the beauty.

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I want to thank you guys for this country. This was one of the most interesting writing I've ever been to.

[00:28:14]

It's like almost going to see a shrink on camera.

[00:28:17]

I find violence the ultimate like, oh, you've got to find somebody that's worth. To join the red table, talk family and become a part of the conversation, follow us at Facebook dot com slash red tabletop. Thanks for listening to this episode of Red Tablecloth podcast produced by Facebook. Watch Westbrooke Audio and I Heart Radio.

[00:28:57]

Baby love, baby love. Hi, I'm Heidi Murkoff, host of What to Expect, a new podcast from My Heart Radio. When I first wrote What to Expect When You're Expecting I was pregnant with my daughter Emma, and my mission was simple to help parents know what to expect every step of the way. That mission has grown a lot, but it hasn't changed. Fast forward now, Amasa Mom. Hey, guys. We're teaming up to answer your biggest pregnancy and parenting questions from breastfeeding to sleep.

[00:29:32]

Good tackling tantrum. Motherhood is the ultimate sisterhood, but it can be overwhelming if you don't know what to expect. Listen to what to expect on the I Heart radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Šamaš Are you ready, Mom? I was born ready.

[00:29:56]

Have you ever wondered if Will Ferrell likes to wear his I voted sticker, I'll even wear it until the next day, or what makes Stephanie Rule so passionate about voting? It's about what kind of country, what kind of world you want to live in. Hi, I'm Holly Fahri and I'm hosting a new podcast called Why I'm Voting. I realized my father had never participated in any election. That's how democracy fails everyone assuming somebody else. Why I'm voting.

[00:30:21]

A new podcast from my heart radio available on the I Heart radio app and Apple podcasts or wherever it is you listen.