Usual whines Oh, my God, I just love you so much. When my favorite advertisers over the holidays, I was served, spiked eggnog, white Russians, mistletoe shooters, all of which are extremely high carb, extremely high calorie drinks, thought, to be completely honest with you, they catch up with you at a certain point. Gone are the days when all of my weight gain would show up in my ass.

As we know, alcohol is notorious for the beer belly. OK, these wines are low carb and have zero grams of sugar, usually has a red blend, a rosé and a sparkling white wine called a Brut.

They also have a usual spritz, which is a low calorie, low alcohol wine spritzer that's made of sparkling wine and guava juice for your upcoming dietary February.

I love that.

I mean, especially because January has not happened. No dietary February, guys. Each bottle is six point three ounces, meaning it is a heavy pour or about a glass and a half of wine. So that means no more pouring wine down the sink when you want to finish the bottle or no more stale wine when you decide you want to finish it. OK, none of that stale rosé bullshit.

It's like a white claw pretty much. But for grown ups, each serving just has eighty three calories. Got to love it.

So you guys right now go check out their website at W-W usual wines dot com and use my discount code so far for eight dollars off of your first order and try your first glass on me. That as usual. Wines Dotcom Discount Code. Sophea Sofya. Hi, everybody, welcome to Sofia with an F. I am so fucking excited to be on this microphone, I am recording in my basement in my little studio room. There are still no chairs. So I'm sitting on the floor with my very, very special guest.

This is my cousin Alex. I'm about to give her the introduction she deserves. But before we do, that is everybody's favorite part of the episode. It's basically where I beg you to fuck me my merch. I have new merch now. It is the cutest, comfiest, most stylish, best, I would say set that I've come out with thus far. And there's also a hoodie, beanies, phone cases that are amazing as well. But I just want to say on the record, there is supposed to be this other set that's supposed to come out.

It was sweatpants and a crewneck. And when push came to shove, I didn't release it because I didn't like the face of the outfit. And the reason that I am doing it, Dear Diary moment and rambling on is because I will not sell stuff that I don't wear all day, every single day and that I fully love.

OK, also please write the show Five Stars. I still have evil, evil little trolls that troll me and give me one star subscribe. Grab your grandma's razor blueberry sidekick.

Watch all the fruit in her pantry. Yes, grab it all and please subscribe from her phone. Your brother's phone, your dog's phone. Who's Eva's phone? And let's get into the episode. Alex, I am so excited to have you here.

I'm so excited to be here. Guys, this is the real Alex.

She is my cousin. She is twenty three years old, female, single, vegan, ready to mingle. I'm a little bit intimidated to have you on today because I might say you could possibly potentially be funnier than me.

I am. If she even had to go there, it's like. Yeah, right. If I even had to say it. She has probably a darker, drier sense of humor than me.

So this episode is about to be fun as fuck. Hi, Alex.

Hi. Like she said, she's pretty much the Sofia to my our. Yeah. And yes, we're cousins. I would like to say that we were like the popular girls of the family, but I'm like the Regina George and she's more like the Glencoe.

I thought you were going to say catty here and and you fucking me this like go, go. I was going to say and I saw you two minutes and you're about to get kicked off.

OK, so soad but really OK, so our relationship is super fun. Oh yeah.

We fail to mention Alex works for me. She works for Sloup Media. Yeah. Out out there.

So business we're mixing business with pleasure.

We are I sort of outlet for me last time so I probably shouldn't be doing that but whatever.

So anyways let's talk about like our family gatherings. Yeah. So I treat them like prom. I wear the shorts out that I possibly can to strut in front of my Mormon family. But Sophie and I are easily the best dressed of the family.

One hundred percent. And we're like the bitchiest. Yes. Like when Alex shows up we within two seconds ditched the entire family run downstairs and they're just talking shit on everybody. Yes.

And all of our little cousins are like, oh, I hope I get to invite them. Face one. OK, well, I guess you guys.

Well, why are you bragging about that? They're 13 years old.

Cool. You'll get there one day.

But yeah, Alex goes up to the family parties in sky high heels and like a teeny tiny mini skirt and like your dad.

Yeah, like, I literally will walk into his bedroom, like, before we go. And he's like, excuse me, like, where's the rest of your clothes?

And I'm like, I borrowed this outfit from grandma. What are you talking about? I mean, I don't have to dress that way.

I'm already labeled as the whore that needs no explanation. But guys, Alex, we have a shit ton to talk about today. First and foremost, they need to know where our heads are out before we can even dive into this episode.

Yes, both of our exes reached out to us in the same day. Yeah.

Mine I have not talked to in eight years directly. Have I talked about him multiple times explicitly to the general public, to hundreds of thousands of people, intimate details about our sex life. We're talking shit about him multiple times. Absolutely. But the funny thing is the real story here is that this shit that went down on your end, Alex, take it away, OK? OK. So I was laying in bed with Sophia and I got a face time from my guys when I say that this bitch tucked in, rolled out of the bed and within two fucking seconds had hair down and fluffed tits out, pushed up, lipstick on.

It was honestly remarkable.

I wish you timed me honestly like record breaking, but OK, you guys have to understand, this was completely shocking because I haven't heard from him since, like, we broke up. So it's been like three months. I mean, granted, I did call him probably 80 times on New Year's Island, but I didn't get an answer. You did not call him any time. OK, eight. But at that point, it might be 80.

Well, I answered the face time expecting and I miss you be like, can I see you soon? Right. Like, I was going to, like, rekindle the flame. Yes. But instead I got something completely different.

Completely different. OK, tell the quote unquote. He says, I have three thousand dollars in a manila envelope. Ready. Can you have your therapist write me a doctor's note saying I'm not addicted to drugs so I don't have to go back to jail?

OK, Alex, first of all, so you were dating like a criminal, like a convict. I mean, it's still really up in the air. You don't know why he was in and out of jail. I mean, like this super fun thing about a relationship, though, was if I didn't hear back from him within, like, three hours, like, it didn't faze me. And I found comfort knowing I was just incarcerated.

Oh, my God. It's like instead of thinking he was being shady and cheating on you, you mean OK? Yeah, that sounds really bad. But honestly, like it happened like three or four times. We I completely actually understand that. So instead of having to wonder if he was like balls deep in another girl, you could just rest easy knowing he was in a jail cell where precisely slept like a baby. Ladies and gentlemen, listening. Get yourself a felon because they're going nowhere.

So. So be easy, street. You never have to worry. Do that shit easy on a fucking T-shirt. OK, the question everyone is wondering, did you do it? Did you pay off your therapist? Long story short, I didn't end up going through my therapist, but I did ask my gynecologist because, like, you know, I just get it. I fucking do it. But I am going to get a very strongly worded voicemail after this, and I'm very, very scared.

Hey, baby, just getting he probably is on the phone. He's in jail. Let's be real. Actually, you might get the voicemail. That's like you have a collect call from something like that. Changed my number and moved to Arkansas. Oh my God. Yeah, guys. So that's just our little update. X's, Xs, X's and O's. Mental health, I always like to do a mental health check, let's tell them how we're feeling.

Do you want to go first or you want me to go first? I can go first. OK, mental health. Let's just say I just finished having an emergency meeting with my therapist, so literally. So you do the math there.

I mean, after that, I am feeling a lot better.

Let's say a 10. Really?

Yes. I get to become a baby. Oh my God. I'm going to 11.

I fucking love that approach. You're right.

Well, now I'm going to make me look bad because I was going to be like six or so guys. I'm actually higher than a six. But I just want to say I had big dreams going into the New Year and all of these resolutions there. I haven't kept up with one of them like five days into January.

I have not worked out what else that I want to do. There's a bunch of shit meditate like I haven't been doing those things regularly, which I promised myself I would do, but that's OK, because it's all about self forgiveness. And I just want to say right here, right now, January starts today. Happy New Year. Happy New Year, everybody. It starts today. Everything that's happened up until now does not count, OK?

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why we call it the present.

I fucking hate you.

OK, so anyways, before we get into what it's like working for me, I think we should talk about what it was like being blessed with such an amazing, inspirational, beautiful role model of an older cousin.

And by role model, you mean like the biggest disappointment of the entire family?

OK, no, I actually did look up to you because not only were you best friends with my older sister, at one point I was the younger cousin who wasn't invited to the basement.

Oh, wow. History repeats itself. OK, and like, what impression did you have of me growing up?

Honestly, like, any time we had to go somewhere and you had to drive me in your car because I didn't have one or couldn't even drive, you would be blasting rap music and would have like one shoe on the sea, like one hair extension on the floor. And I just, like, thought you were like like fucking crazy.

And like, I hope that one day that I would be just as psycho and or slutty as you were. Wow. That's actually really fucking cute.

My reputation precedes me, but it's like, yeah, I feel like the entire family kind of disapproved of me. And you have had my back since day one. Yes.

And I think that's really funny because like, I've had this conversation with my dad before and he's been like super supportive of it because he admitted that he had a sex talk radio show back in the day. So I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Hi, Dad. Hi, Dad. Hi.

Your dad's my favorite, by the way, of all the brothers and sisters, but it's like, yeah, everyone in the family are so fucking shocked at my slutty ways and what I do for a living. And it's like is learned behavior people. It is nature versus nurture.

It's like your environment shapes who you are. Exactly. So it's like no wonder that we turned out the way that we did.

Thank you. Thank you. Because I'm the first person to admit that I am dramatic and neurotic as fuck. And I know for a fact that that stems from and runs in the family. Like you can just come to one family gathering and how would you explain it?

OK, all in all, it's just like a bunch of foreign people, like stuck in one room just screaming at each other in Spanish or flashing their vagina to my boyfriend. But that's history and that's true.

That's a true story.

We'll tell that story one day. What is it like working for me?

Have you guys seen Wolf of Wall Street? Know what it's like working for Jordan Belfort, cocaine, strippers, the whole lot.

Kylah, Quaaludes, Quaaludes.

I fucking wish nobody.

OK, actually, like we work ungodly hour. We do. We do like we rack up twenty hours in a day and we'll do that like three days in a row. Right. We'll sleep like two hour increments. Yes. It's no fucking joke. And I would just like to apologize right now.

First of all, the strippers and cocaine guys, that was a joke.

Everyone's like calling the Better Business Bureau right now on speed dial. Yeah, no, that was not really I wish I'd be a lot cooler.

I was I mean, maybe like some. It's real, but I would say I'm a pretty unstable boss. I just am like sometimes I will have full blown meltdowns where I am on the carpet crying next to the microphone. And you have to swoop in and you have to play my therapist, my employee, the producer of the show, my doctor, like the list goes on and on.

Togher for all of it. All of it. Yeah, but the pay makes it all worth it. Oh, I'd love to hear it. And I love our age difference because you keep me young and you keep me old.

Yeah.

I actually like you make me feel old is fucking like I'm going to be cutting your pay but for real.

You gave me step by step instructions on how to make my first tick talk. And even though I still fucked it up, it's it's that type of mentality. Oh yeah, I did.

I did. I hope you make it first. Tick tock. I felt like the mom and mean girls like doing the movements with you in the background, which is what you were.

I think you were holding the phone for me while I did it and I was like, don't act it out. Yes. Well, but go follow me.

It's Sophia Franklin and the number zero frame bridge flow montage, French for Frame Bridge. If you guys didn't know, I have this amazing painting sitting in a storage closet in New York City right now, and I dream about it every fucking day. And I had it framed by Frame Bridge. And I just have to start off by telling you the frame can make a painting, but a painting cannot make a frame. But you know who can frame bridge?

Guy's frame bridge literally made the experience so easy. As we all know, I'm a lazy piece of shit. I would never, ever, ever get in my car, drive to an arts and crafts store and talk to the lady wearing an apron with a tampon string hanging out and try to figure out the best way to frame a portrait or a picture.

That is where Frame Bridge comes in and no one has time for that to go to the store. But with a frame bridge, you never have to leave your house. The process is so easy.

It's so easy. All you have to do is go to their website, upload whatever photo you want framed, or if you need to send in the photo because it's already in your hands. Bracebridge will send you packaging to safely mail in your physical pieces. That's what I ended up doing and feeling so overwhelmed and they just made it again, so easy. You can also preview your picture in the frame online. They have dozens of frame styles and gallery wall layouts and the experts at Frame Bridge will custom frame your item and deliver your finished piece directly to your door, ready to hang on your wall or wherever the fuck you want to hang it.

So instead of the hundreds of dollars Mrs. Tampon String would make you pay the arts and crafts store guys, you should be using frame bridge. Their prices start at thirty nine dollars and all shipping is free.

So free one of your nudes and give it to your boyfriend to hang over the fireplace. Thank you. Plus all my listeners will get fifteen percent off their first order at Frame Bridge Dotcom when they use my code. Sophea So get started today. Frame your photos or send someone the perfect gift, a.k.a. your nude frame bridge dotcom use promo code. Zofia So if I say and save an additional 15 percent off your first order.

Oh, me undies, guys, I am sitting in my me undies right now, and let me just say I am wearing their onesie and I am slipping and sliding all over the fucking carpet right now like a little slug.

It looks so comfortable and so jealous as you should be.

Me undies is sustainable, breathable, soft as hell fabric. And you know, as someone who does laundry once a year, this might be my favorite thing about me. Ondes me Ondes believes you and your butt deserve comfort inside and out, which is why they created the ME Undies membership. It's really just a great way to love on yourself.

Mm. Gotta love it each month. Replenish your basics with styles that are anything but basic styles that let you be the truest version of yourself right down to your core. Plus enjoy discounted pricing, controlled shipping and exclusive early access. Love your butt and get the membership. Me Ondes has a great offer for Sophia's listeners. For any first time purchasers, you get 15 percent off and free shipping me and is also has a problem free philosophy. If you're not satisfied with any product for any reason, they'll refund it or exchange it.

No caveats. No questions.

Amazing. So you guys, to get your 15 percent off your first order and free shipping, go to me. Undies dot com slash sophea. That's me. Undies dot com slash Sofia Sofya.

Anyways, onto the real news here that has left me on red, and if you don't know who that is, don't worry, because we don't know who the fuck that is either.

But don't worry. With a quick Google search, I found out that he is a deejay, promoter and online influencer. But most importantly, what I do know that he dated Madison before. OK, thank you. Because that's the only fucking thing I know about him. Saying you're a promoter and a DJ in L.A. is like saying that's not going to get you a blue checkmark. No, there's something. There's got to be something else. Is his family super rich or something?

I truly I there's no he's an enigma.

He really I, I just I don't know. All I know is that my cousin Alex here has an addiction to Demming Zach Bhaiyya. Well actually just famous people all around on Instagram over and over and over and just harasses them to no end. But specifically Zogby. Yes, he's definitely my favorite one to D.M. And to give you some background, some of the pictures that I do give him is, you know, your classic FT pics. But, you know, I've hit him with a screenshot of a webcam that I really wanted and the one that I really thought he was going to respond to.

I sent him. I said, hey, babe, you left your wallet on my nightstand. So like with this, I was like, she's going to be like, damn, like maybe I really did have a one night stand with this chick. Like, I should probably get my wallet back. Wait, that is so fucking smart. We guys, if you are trying to get in contact with a celebrity, you just hear them saying, wait, you left your wallet on my nightstand.

I mean. Yeah, like it hasn't worked for me. Yeah. I've used that line on at least five different celebrities, but I know that's the one that's going to do it.

I just I commend you because Alex, I might force you to post it on this if you have podcast, Instagram page. But like, there are no twelve unanswered messages from Alex's idea, probably one open, not even unanswered, unopened, unopened me. On the other hand, this is pretty much what happened. I was laying in bed with Alex and I reached out to one of my friends that no Zogby a very well. And the reason I did that is because I was like, oh my God.

Like, I'm going to get you. Zogby is no like we're going to get to him some way somehow trying to be the amazing older cousin.

Older employer is my boss, by the way, by the way, trying to be the coolest boss ever. So my friend sends Zach Biya a picture of me. I don't know what picture.

I don't know if he got it off Instagram. I don't know if it was like a scary, terrifying one. He had me blacked out, saved in his camera roll that he sent his. I feel like I have no fucking clue. All I know is that Zach opened it and did not respond. You got left on scene. I got left on scene unread. And I don't know what's worse. Is it worse to just have a bunch of D.M. sent to him and be left unopened or for him to actually see your fucking face and see what you look like and be able to make like an assessment and still leave you on?

Like, really what it was for me is like I thought like you having a blue checkmark, you know, you'd at least get a like an acknowledgment.

But no, Alex, you don't rub it in like I already took a hit to the self-esteem. I am no Madison beer, that's for damn sure. But like acknowledgment, a half a double top, a thumbs up, something.

Yeah, well, I mean, Instagram in general tends to deplete, you know, mental health.

Absolutely obscene fucking Lulea. Oh, my God. The amount of times I wish I could just log off of my Instagram, but I just don't have that luxury.

You do. I do.

And speaking of the other day, I took like a little week break off Instagram. And then when I finally, like, you know, got the courage, I downloaded it again. And what I saw was enough to completely deactivate my account. That could be a message. Oh, my.

It was like getting a restraining order. No. OK, so what I got was an unsolicited nude, OK, we all get those.

But this one that I got was nothing I've ever seen before. OK, explain it please.

OK, so what I got was this man taking a mere selfie wearing his Fruit of the Loom fucking Hanes t shirt like an off the shoulder dress, like he was going to the fucking met gala with just his balls creeping out of his shirt.

Wait, do you see off the shoulder. Yeah. Like this. It was too big. Or like he styled it as an on his shoulder. He stopped. One arm was in the sleeve, one arm was out like, I swear to God, I've seen that dress on fashion before. OK, and then his balls hanging out. What about his penis? There's an outline of his penis tucked up in the strip, the shirt dress.

OK, so. So he was Winnie the pooh poohing it. Yeah. He wasn't wearing anything on the bottom. Just the shirt. Yes. No pants, no boxers, nothing. And the dick is tucked up into the shorts. You can't see it. Yes, but he left his balls hanging there, playing peekaboo with me.

He let the ball sack hanging out and wouldn't show the day. Yes. Oh, my. OK, what the fuck. And then arm out of the sleeve. Yes. Oh, hand on the hip. Stop. You're like, no, I'm dead serious. Hand on his head. Yes. Which is questionable in itself.

But like the other crazy thing is, I was like, wait, I recognize this name, OK? I like this guy has asked to buy my news before and he's asked you to buy your new. Yes. So like I've seen his name before, he's like been in my defense trying to ask for news before. OK, and just for the record, I don't sell nudes. Thank you for clarifying. Yes. I know all of you are like running to my defense, trying to do the same.

Yeah, but I messed around with it. I entertained it for a second just to see how much money I could get out of this guy. What which is like completely understandable.

I've done that too. Yeah. You just like want to see like I mean you never know. Yeah.

So eventually he was like, how much did he offer you. He offered me thirty five dollars. No zeros after that. Three.

Five for what. Thirty five dollars for what. What type. Like a pussy pig.

I better not have been. No, no. He asked for a picture of my tongue.

Oh ok. That's better. But still. Yeah. Like for anything. Yeah. Five dollars. Yeah.

No I was like insulted. I was like excuse me. I was like well after laughing hysterically for like an hour I like responded I was like I don't accept anything for under three hundred dollars lol right the fuck back off Instagram.

And I threw my phone at the wall.

I'm like I'm just like picturing this entire fucking thing. Thirty five dollars I have to say is fucked up. I was hilarious. I mean it's hilarious. Absolutely.

I was one time offered like five hundred dollars for a pair of shoes which is way more involved, like I had to pay for shipping and shit.

But I asked the guy to Venmo me half of it up front and he said he wouldn't he would only buy me like fifty dollars upfront, which is a complete side note, but I just can't get over the fucking picture.

No, the the hand on the hip, shoulder out, ball sack out, dick tucked in. And I'm, I'm like trying to think of any like the creepiest picture. Yeah. Like have you ever like I don't really get that many dick pics but like what about you.

Like, I mean I used to get way more but I absolutely like still will get creepiest pictures. I'm trying to think there was one that really scarred me for a minute.

It was more than this. I think so. Honestly, I like carried it around with me for like a few days on paper.

It was this guy and he there I am not throwing shade.

He had a micropenis which is fine.

He was holding it up.

I was doing the hand gesture that she's like showing and got like your finger. Yes. He wasn't holding it with his hand. He was holding it with his thumb and his pointer.

He might as well use chopsticks. Yeah.

And which is fine. That's fine. That's why I'm laughing. The reason I'm laughing, I'm nervous laughing because where he took the picture, it was in like a kid's room, like there were like kid toys everywhere. And it looked like it was. A haunted house, and I know that doesn't make sense, like the wallpaper was like ripping off the walls. It looks like the house that he took the picture in, like was not under construction, but like no one had lived there since, like, 1999.

Oh, my God. OK, so was there like a crib in the background, like toys or something? Yeah, it was something like that and everything was super outdated and it was just the creepiest shit I've ever seen in my entire life. OK, so he took it in Baby Alessi's room.

I'm sorry, I can't breathe. Hey, everybody, remember me, I'm back, bitches. For those of you who don't know who Baby Alexia's and I have no fucking idea, Alex has no clue, no clue. There was a couple they were on The Bachelor and they ended up engaged and now they're married. It's Lauren and Ari. I don't know if you guys remember them. They had a baby and they created an Instagram account for this baby.

And the baby's name is Alesi. And I think we'll obviously now she's like, got to be a toddler, like a year old or something, something like that.

That's beside the point.

Anyways, I am blocked from that entire family, from every single page, so I have to go stalk them for my fake Instagram account.

Because what did you do to these poor people? I this is what I did for job one year old.

Fuck you on Instagram.

Oh my God. This is like my life is. I took on the persona baby. See, OK, it was my alter ego. I was Sophia. And then sometimes when I was feeling in a mood, I was blessed. And you know what I would love to say, like, I'm grown up now and I don't do those things.

But hi, guys. OK, the fact that this baby I just signed up for, I get into this has three hundred and sixty four thousand people following her. Paige is astonishing to me. Like do these people understand that they are following a one year old child on Instagram who is selling ads? I've actually seen this before with like the Ace family guy is like one of their kids, like in the same same dynamic, like like the captions were of her talking, pretending to be the baby.

Yeah. When she obviously couldn't speak, she has four point nine million followers, it is verified.

Does she saw ads like the baby, of course, who is buying product from someone who can't talk. That's what I want to understand.

Like, oh my God, this one year old baby is saying this fucking tummy tea is the shit and makes you guys wait.

Like, let me purchase apparently three hundred and sixty four thousand people and four million.

Hey, everybody, it's me. I decided to make a comeback because my parents are going to have twins and no way am I going to let those assholes take my spotlit. I'm going to get in trouble. I've been out here living my best life, just check out my hashtag. Oh, TRD real.

That's not real. Is that real? No. Yes, dude, it hasn't voted. You know, this baby has more Instagram highlights than I do.

We need to step it up, Alex. Anyways, check out my page and you will see me grow from a teeny tiny pumpkin seed into a big Instagram influencer the size of a desk chair.

OK, she's not the size of a desk chair. I don't know what the fuck's the size of a basket o this size of an Amazon Prime box. What can I compare her size? She's one this size of a really big Grey Goose bottle that I guzzle down when my parents take me to Vegas, after I make them five hundred K off of a sugar bear hair and can't wait for my little sprouts to come in my head.

I hope my brother and sister know what they're in for. Influencing is a lifestyle. That is all I have for today, folks. I please never do that again. If they are trying to expose their child to the Instagram influencing, then I can pretend to be the child too. That's true. I mean, that's that's it, guys. She's obviously doing better than you are.

Absolutely fucking true. OK, guys, let's get into my favorite segment, advice and questions for my fellow Sloots. OK. Take care of it is Jan and Alex, you have seen me desperately trying to hop on the wellness train.

Yes, I genuinely shoved vitamins down your throat before.

True care of is a wellness brand that makes it easy to maintain your health goals with a customized vitamin plan that helps you feel your best today and supports you long term.

There are formulated with good for you clean ingredients that are backed by science, super transparent about the research and sourcing behind each one of their products.

Care of in-depth five minute online quiz asks you questions about your diet, lifestyle and health concerns to help address your specific wellness goals. You don't have to make any huge resolutions this year. I mean, I've already fucked mine up. Small, impactful changes are just as important, like adding a daily vitamin to help support your energy, sleep or fitness to target those goals, whether in the short or long term.

And considering Sofia is so greedy and pays me in pennies, the discount Karev is offering right now is crucial for 50 percent off your first Carib order. Go to take care of dotcom and enter code Sophea F 50. That is, take care of dotcom and enter code Sophea 50 sofya EF five zero four fifty percent off your first order. All right, questions for Mudge. Here we go. Alex, are you ready? No. OK, will you fucking better get ready?

Because this one directly pertains to, you know, here we go.

OK, Haisla, I have a friend who has a large Instagram following. How she got her followers is questionable, but I don't care. She has vegan quotation marks in her bio. The problem is she eats meat. Every single time we hang out, she will post pictures to her story of food that we are eating without the meat unless it looks like someone else's plate. She even captioned eggnog has almond nog to keep up with her whole vegan persona.

I've asked her about why she has this in her bio on multiple occasions, and she says she wants to be a good influence on others and feels guilty about not being vegan. Clearly, this isn't the case when we eat fried chicken and cheesy pizza on the rag. What would you do in this situation? Should I even trust her as a person? Alex, what do you think?

OK, so first off, I should go. Definitely. I am that crazy vegan bitch and I also have vegan in my bio. But this is something I feel very passionately about. And honestly, I don't know why this girl is acting like being vegan. Is Aflex like eating dead animal carcasses in private? Isn't that cool to me?

But people ask me all the time, I'm vegan. Tell us. And like, they think it's because, like, I'm trying to be healthy, but you like fucking shit. But the real reason I don't eat meat or dairy is because I'm not too fond of eating things with a backbone, you know, face central nervous system.

Oh my God. But B, if everyone knew what I knew about the meat and dairy industry, I think they would probably feel the same.

OK, Alex, I am glad you had your soapbox moment. I actually really am glad that you're bringing awareness to it because it means that people don't turn this off.

This isn't about to turn into a rant.

Oh, well, you're trying to sabotage. I personally have cut out pork. I'm trying to eat mainly fish, and I'm not eating as much chicken. And I love how you and I were single handedly able to make this question about us. Moral of the story.

I wouldn't trust her. I wouldn't trust her either. And I had a friend who would do this same thing. She had a bunch of followers and she would consistently lie about what she was doing or pretty much every second of her life all the time. And I thought it was really weird. It's kind of funny because why do I feel at such ease lying to boyfriends? But then like to everyone else, including my social media followers, like I can, because you're loyal to your followers.

Oh, burn. I don't know. I guess the only thing I'm going to say, because I always like to play devil's advocate, I do like that she is spreading awareness in her own way. Also, though, do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, actually, yeah.

Like, I don't know what's worse, her not being vegan in private, but at least letting the world know being vegan is cool, considering she has a bunch of followers or be openly eating me and normalizing that. I don't know which ones were probably the second one. With that said, though, as your friend, I would not trust her. And I love the little shady through like how did she get her followers? You have no fucking clue.

This just seems like a bitch you shouldn't trust.

I really think if you're that if you can lie that easily on a regular basis to thousands of people, you can probably lie to your friends and everyone around you to, OK, moving on, go vegan, go vegan.

OK, next question, Sophia. I need help urgently. Can you please talk about what to do when you have to fart around your man's or current guy? You have been fucking that likes you. Last night I farted so loud that I'm pretty sure his roommate heard, but he was in the bathroom, so I downloaded a fart machine app on my phone was super fast and he came out of the bathroom and I acted like I was playing with a fart machine.

Ha ha. Help, please. I love you so much. First of all, genius. Absolute genius. Genius. My only question is, how did she justify playing on the fart machine op when her guy walked into the room?

Yeah, because I remember doing that, like in elementary school. Yeah, I did in high school. I remember I literally had it on my phone when my friends would sit down, I would press. But this is like she's in the comfort of his bed laying there like by herself playing on.

Yeah.

And like that fart must have like been pretty animated if like you're going to compare it to the ones that are on the app because those are pretty unrealistic. Absolutely. I mean, she did say she thinks that the room it was heard across the world to give you actual advice, because that's what you're here for. Do I run around my house firing up a store? No. Has have I let one slip before? Yes. If you are spending an insane amount of time with your significant other or just a dude in general, it's going to end up happening.

And let me just tell you right now, ninety nine point nine percent of dudes don't give a fuck that. They really don't. OK, that's all you need to know.

I honestly think you might as well just owned up to the fire. Instead of owning up to that, you play on a fire out by yourself in the dead of the night. I don't know that for sure. OK, next. OK, Zofia, please help me. So in twenty twenty my life kind of fell apart.

I lost my job. My grandfather and my mom got diagnosed with M.S. and that's just a couple of the things I am so sorry to hear that my condolences. That is extremely difficult. Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to send in this question. OK, she said I started going to therapy and now I'm on medication to help with my depression. But the problem is that I am not horny at all. My boyfriend, I used to have sex every night before.

Now it's pretty much stopped because I never want to have sex anymore. And now my boyfriend is horny all the time. How do I get horny again? I don't want this to affect our relationship. How do I get the spark back in my sex life? Thank you so much. OK, I have multiple things I want to say about this. No one is. I think that it is perfectly OK and perfectly normal for couples to go through phases of how active they want to be in their sex life.

If you are going through something, if he is going through something, do not feel pressured to be having sex every single day. There is no rule book for you to be doing that. I think that it's OK for couples to have ups and downs in their sexual activity.

How frequently they're doing it with no guilt, absolutely do not. I was about to say that. Do not beat yourself up over it at all. This second thing I want to say is you should honestly reach out to your doctor and tell them what's going on. I think a lot of us, we hear that. And it's like if you're having any of these side effects with this medication, reach out to your doctor. We completely ignore it. I think this is one of those ones that your doctor has probably heard this a million times because it is so common.

Yeah, like this has happened to me. And it ended up just being a combination of the medicine that I was taking right now. Talking to my doctor helped a lot and we sorted it out.

Yeah, exactly. And it's also it's not just antidepressants. Birth control is like one I hear about all the time. When I was on birth control, I completely shut down my sex drive to and I got on a different kind of birth control and I was back to my normal sexual activity frequency.

So I think you should try out those things first. And I think, you know what? If it is best for your mental health and your happiness to stay on the medication that you are on or the combination of medication you are on, then you know what? That is more important at the end of the day. Yeah, it absolutely is. Your happiness is more important than anything at the end of the day.

Yes. And it's OK if you guys just need to have less to know sex for however long it takes for you to get back to a strong mental place. Love you, girl.

I am here for you. I love you. And last thing I'm going to say is just remember that this is temporary. I think that's really important to keep in mind.

Thank you so much for sending your question.

And we're here for you. We love you. I love you. And yes, thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share that with me.

And I think you're also helping a lot of people by talking about this openly. Absolutely.

OK, moving on, next question. Hi, Sophia. I was proudly wearing your mugshot t for the first time when an older woman asked me, is that your daughter? I am only three years older than you and I usually hear I look younger than I am, but it was nonetheless embarrassing love ups.

You should definitely collab with Stiff Socks podcast.

I'm surprised I didn't ask if that was your grandma. I'm not sure, honestly.

So you guys see, like, the abuse I had to deal with in the workplace. OK, first of all, that picture was taken of me when I was underage. So girlfriend, don't even let it affect you for two seconds. But that is fucking hilarious. You should have said it was your sister. Who the fuck? Where's a picture of their daughter's mug shot? Like, I get like maybe a daughter, like. On the shirt, but your daughter's mugshot, like me, thinking about your mom wearing my mom when I put that mug shot on a t shirt, my mom sent me three pages of, like, what the fuck is wrong with you messages?

Yeah.

So I would believe that. Thank you so much for wearing my Mirch. Neumark is out now, by the way. And now you have my police report on the back. Got to love it, OK? Final question, I have been seeing this guy for a year now, he still claims he doesn't want a girlfriend, but we are basically dating. I do not remember the last time I slept alone, to put it into perspective, how often I see him.

We are both very involved with one another's families. How do I make him want to date me now that he has me in every way he wants without a title?

Oh, OK. Honestly, I've never made it to the year mark, I usually get ghosted before then, so I'm going to let Sophia take this one.

I'll take the reins. My experience would tell me to tell you that you cannot make someone want you. You cannot make someone want to be with you. With that said, there is a way to test it out and the way to test it out and to figure out if you will ever have that type of relationship with him is to freak him the fuck out. And I know I sound like a little bit psychotic right now, but Gostin, thank you.

I still have that toxic bitch in me, and that's really what it comes down to. You need to give him a little look into what life would be like without you, a.k.a. ghost disappear, or if you don't want to be that dramatic about it, because it sounds like you guys are intertwined in every second of each other's life. Just out to our distant say, babe, I'm not sleeping over tonight. I'm sleeping over at my friend's Sallie's.

There's not one person named Sally on twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty one. I would highly disagree, but just start doing little things like that and freak him out a little bit. All right. And then you'll know if you have the willpower, which I definitely do not.

OK, well you have some learning to do and.

Oh my sweetheart please.

OK guys, that is it for today. Twenty, twenty one. Happy New Year. Alex, thank you so much for coming. Where can everybody find you on Instagram at Alex Franco.

Underscore Meow. I'm going to be deactivating my account a second. This episode gets released so um. But yeah. So if it was really nice to have you on my show. Oh my God. You're so welcome. You were the best co host you've ever had. Yes. Guys, you know where to find me. It's Sofia Franklyn's. If you're an Franklyn with a Y on all social media platforms, I can confidently say that now because I'm on tick tock around the clock at Sophia Franklin zero.

Yes. Oh my God. Thank you. And I have new merch out and I love you guys so much and I will see you next week. I'm single. She's single. Hit her up.