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[00:00:03]

Hello. No, that's my line. Hello, Spencer Matthews here. Welcome to Am I in Vogue with the expense. Matthew, sir. Welcome to my podcast, Spencer and Vogue, featuring my wife.

[00:00:20]

OK, well, we actually bumped into a girl outside the dentist the other day. And I asked her, I said she said, I love your podcast. I said, all right, who's funnier out of the two of us? And she said, Me, did you see what happened when we turned around afterwards or not?

[00:00:33]

Sure. Okay, sure. So it's actually the Vogue podcast. I don't think it is.

[00:00:38]

That's the thing with Spencer attached, they snatched you. Plug it and I'll turn up.

[00:00:44]

OK, Peak and Pets of the Week. What day is this?

[00:00:48]

It's really hard to keep track of the week's Thursday, darling. Thursday. Yes. OK, peak of the week. What happened this week? You worked out?

[00:00:56]

I did. We're working out. To be fair. That's that's something that we are in full swing with. I'd say it's because. Well, not for you, obviously, but like, I love feeling like this. I love. But I mean, not for me, obviously. I like feeling it well, because I had a drink. Remember, we set it on the part. It's two weeks ago now. I'm still not over. It is still not over.

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And I think I think you might be over two weeks ago now.

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I'm like I'm not like I'm over it, but I'm not over it. And the point that I'm able to have another drink. Yes, right.

[00:01:27]

It's so unfair. Like, I, I just get the worst hangovers of everyone. But my sister will have a night out. Right. And she'll be able to drink the next day. No problem. I am honestly I'm almost in a body bag.

[00:01:39]

That's why she's all right. Because she will drink the next day. And you kind of I think you and you, you hate alcohol. Every single time you drink, we get kind of two weeks of whinging. Why don't you just not drink? Like if drinking for me back in the day I could drink and drink and drink and drink and it like had very little effect on me.

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I mean, like I would never feel hungover. I never wake up in like a terrible week. I would just be fine all the time.

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But if I ever felt like you, I would have just stopped and I would never do anything that I don't like doing now because I have such a nice time when I'm when I'm drunk.

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It's fun when I'm drunk. Yeah. Is it though. It's fun for like two drinks I think.

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Yeah I think, I think drink too is my like peak of my drinking. Yeah. And then after that it kind of goes downhill. It doesn't go anywhere after. I just. Yeah.

[00:02:36]

I've had my fun. My favorite is when you fall asleep on the sofa, can we not tell everyone that that's a new thing.

[00:02:42]

There's no you do it quite often. I say like well I don't drink. You don't drink very often but when you drink. Yeah. You love not being so tired because we go to bed like I was asleep by nine thirty three last night according to my wife. So we go to bed early. So when I've had a few drinks and if I say a past like midnight I'm honestly like a troll and I just fall asleep anywhere. That's that looks like a bed.

[00:03:05]

I was knackered last night as I thought, I thought to myself usually guess as we've said before, that means be boring. I figure eleven every night. And I thought, like, if it's like eight and I'm tired, I'll sleep till eleven and then like I'll get an alarm that wakes me up at eleven, then I feel up. If it's like nine, I'll probably push myself out, watch something on TV till 11:00 last night I was knackered and I looked at my watch and I was like, okay, there's only an hour left to go.

[00:03:32]

Gosh, I looked at my phone. I was like, there's only an hour left to go. I'll just I'll just see it through. So I was watching this thing, like, so nearly falling asleep and then it got to the end of the hour and I was like, it was ten.

[00:03:42]

Oh, I was furious I could have slept for two hours. So then I push myself through another hour, not the end of the world. We're so we're like mid middle age that way. If we're whinging about that, we're whinging about eleven o'clock our time. Our manager has dinner at nine o'clock at night. She tends to attend tonight. She's like, I'm only sitting down for dinner. Absolute weirdo.

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I had dinner last night at five thirty.

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Yeah, that's right. Well you see everything changes when you have kids. It's like, oh you know, I might as well just eat with them because they're adorable. I have to sit with them anyway when he's eating. So I'm like, I'll just, I'll just eat at the same time. So we're on the same schedule. I'm OK to have sex with them.

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You know, it's you know, I'm really looking forward to seeing some of our friends who don't have kids having kids. Yeah.

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Are they going to like.

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Oh yes, it is like your life changes so much for us. Like for the better. Like completely. But like it's it is crazy how different like your life is.

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It's an amazing. But my sister Amber so last weekend she was a I think it was on a Saturday, she was a little bit hung over and she was just like watching a movie. And then she's like, oh, we're going to watch this movie later. And I was just thinking, she doesn't like she doesn't have to do anything.

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She just chill all day, all day.

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She doesn't have to get up. She doesn't have to worry about like what anyone else is going to eat. This has. A really concern herself for herself, and I thought that would be the last three years when lockdown is over, I'm we're going away. We're going to have a night, a full night, maybe two nights away from the kids.

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I wouldn't be up for more than two, but I don't have more than two drinks or you'll miss it.

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Yeah, I'll miss that for.

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No, I'm not being hung over. No way. Because that will ruin a whole day for me. And so our Pick of the week, OK, is all our lovely training that we're getting done.

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Also, I have been on a bit of a mission with so we want to get our we're kind of doing off the house a little bit thinking of things.

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And honestly, I've spent weeks trying to find a coffee table. Right.

[00:05:41]

I'd like to publicly thank you for everything you're doing for the house at the moment. I'm very touched by it and I love you very much.

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OK, because last night I said, are you delighted what we're doing with the house? And he is like, well, and I was like, like all the stuff that I do with her. She's like, all right, well, what exactly is that?

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Do you actually say it like that? I know. OK, very kind.

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Companies often reach out to us because of your social media following. And so we occasionally engage them and we have cool stuff down to the house.

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I was just wondering what like you didn't paint the walls?

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Excuse me. I have spent weeks looking for a coffee table. I thought, what does that mean? And, you know, I was looking for a coffee table. I'd buy one in ten minutes.

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So you don't use what you bought. You mean is you've wasted a week now? No, no.

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I had to find the perfect coffee table. Now, I did have one in mind. Right. We looked at that coffee table about a month ago. I know we did. Yeah. Okay.

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But now you two will whinge because you'll be like, oh, no, I'll tell you what, you could put a cardboard box there and I wouldn't whinge.

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I when have I ever walked into the house are gone. Those chairs could do with being updated.

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So Pick of the week is, let's say, right. Pick the week training and just having a good work week. So far we've had it.

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We found my coffee table part of the week. Um, I caught my finger when I was cutting potatoes.

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Oh, yeah. Yeah. That was really annoying. Yes.

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That must have been a piece of your week. It bled everywhere. She was really bad everywhere. And then I had to wear plaster all the time.

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And then honestly, for the last four days, it just keeps bleeding, it's sewn and it keeps opening again and catching on things. It's been quite frustrating cos I dislocated my shoulder.

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It's probably my pets. Um, so I haven't been able to lift like my weight in the gym because obviously that's what I've get up to usually. So I've had to, you know, double down on cardio, which is fine, obviously. I love that.

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It's my brother's fortieth this week. Is it. What day is it. Thursday? Yeah, it's on Saturday. Have we bought something? Star was related. You know, he did. He loves style.

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This man is about forty and he wanted us to buy him a new lightsaber because he already has these two that cost them something like three hundred quid each. But now he wants a new more impressive one lightsaber once the sabre.

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Yeah. A lifesaver light saber.

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I didn't know for Sabre or save or.

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I don't know, I don't really want a favour. I don't know where the sabre isn't like a sword, a saver, a cyber sabre. I'm joking if you have a fence. Anyway, he wanted us to buy him a lightsaber. We haven't. I sent balloons and stuff back to the house, put whatever. I just don't. Why don't you like.

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I just don't get it anyway. So we're having a fortieth zoom party for him, by the way, on Saturday. Oh, thanks.

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Another one of my pics of the week is that we finally, if you're watching this on our instr, you'll see that we finally got rid of the moustache.

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It's gone now. But that's that's a travesty to most people, because actually or ever since you've made me shave it, I do like you.

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All I see is absolute heroes with mustaches everywhere. They're everywhere. I know you're to be isman.

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You can't just do things lightly. Like, you just you have to take it too far. And you started looking a bit creepy.

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That's so offensive. Well, he did a mustache community, the mustache. I honestly imagine if you have a mustache and you're listening to this, my wife thinks you're creepy.

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Why did you why is that? Why do you call it a mustache? Can you not just say mustache?

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Because his mustache is wrong. It's a mustache.

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I've tried people. I've tried John to know some facts about mustaches. I would be delighted to. And by the way, it's coming back. I miss it. I already missed it.

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It was a part of me that I know I've had a moustache before. You know, I had it quite a long moustache, like Twizzlers before. And I put a beard wax in the tips and I had a little curly mustache at one point with a beard, quite savage beard as well.

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I had a a whopper of a beard at one point.

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Do remember when I went to Africa for three months, I didn't shave at all. I came back and I had that like full on and didn't have, like, welts in your face from my face was rotten beneath it.

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I hadn't seen daylight in ages and I was using this bed lube, I think it's called Don't Not Sexual, Just Bad.

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It's called lube. And I'd rub it. And I think I was using too much. The oil. So the oil. Was kind of saturating on my skin and drying out parts of my face and I had these spots, I didn't know I had them, I didn't even know how that because, like, if you run your hand over my face, you couldn't feel my skin because I had, like, a good kind of inch and a half of beard.

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And when I shaved, it was just dreadful, like dreadful.

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Did you have to pop the spots, pop them? I had to get professional help.

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Oh, I had to go into this clinic on the Fulham Road and they had to, like, dig into my face.

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It was awful lot is just lumps in your face. They're terrible. I've got little scars actually from where they were. So, yeah, if you are going to grow a beard, don't lube your face up as much as I like.

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Oh, I'd love to. I can't tell you how much I love squeezing spots. You would have had an absolute field.

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Would have been my dream. Yeah. Yeah. One day I hope that you get a cyst somewhere so I can access on my neck.

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Yeah. No, it's not really that impressive anymore. It's not impressive anymore because it's not coming out like we can't pop it or course it comes out emptied yesterday he emptied it.

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You see there he says Oh I had it my whole life, don't discriminate.

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And there's a whole community of us will get together and get very upset. If you go, sorry, I've now pissed off the cyst. On the mustache are mustache.

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Men get very upset if you point the finger at either of those attributes.

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OK, the average one month old mustache is capable of holding run thirty miles of liquid or ten percent of a glass of beer before leaking its contents down the owner's face. Yeah. For spills.

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Yeah. Well OK. So, so. Thirty years to stage, you know.

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Thirty miles. Thirty miles. I washed it. I have a shampoo and conditioner shampoo. Your hair. Yeah but I they need to. The beard is something else in your nose that he nailed his hair. Right. He was put in hair wax and his hair and he realized he'd actually shoved a pile of moisturizer in his hair. Oh my God. And he looked like a greasy little penguin going right. And I was like, he going to wash your hair?

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And he just wouldn't wash it out of his hair.

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Just like I took this dollop of moisturizer that was kind of, you know, fit for your entire body that I usually put on my face. And just it was early in the morning. I just whacked it in my hair is I wax. I didn't have time much after that to have to have another shower. So I just went out with it in Eureka, Nevada, USA.

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It is illegal for men with mustaches to kiss women. Good boys were good in Eureka, Nevada. That's absolute bollocks.

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They've all got mustaches over there. OK, on average, a man with a mustache touches, touches, touches at 760 times a day.

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Yeah, average. I'd like to see what the stats are for just a regular person touching their face in the same amount of hair.

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Mustaches contain more bacteria than dogs. Fur. Yes.

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So what, you kiss the dog, mom? Sick. Oh, Mom, is she trying to be cool again? You've never once said, man, where do.

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OK, drag race, right? Yeah, it was all over the Internet this week and that recalls Rupal Drag Race race car racing. No. It's Rumpole's drag race, drag queens, oh. It's actually and you would love it. It's actually a really good show. I'm not sure I would love it, but I do like drag queens.

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Yeah, the show is a bit much so sweaty, actually dressed up as a drag queen one day.

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Yeah.

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And it's a drag name was what was it, Charlie Matthews. Tara Matthews. But there's a different way of finding out what your drag name would be.

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OK, so you have to say the month you were born, August, the first letter of your name as it's August and the first letter of your last name. And so, OK, as is Maemi. So you're going to be Miss Mamie the first day of your last name is M.. Miss Mimi filth, that's yours, Miss Mimi filth. OK, I'll tell you what, frap, I'll tell you what mine is.

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Dame Tyra Delite, Dame Tara Delys and Miss Mimi fell from the line of mine.

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My name DoRight Tade. Tyra No.

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Unfortunately, it's just I'm looking at these drag names and I think in great baby name. Great baby name. Honestly, if you are, you're OK, you're somewhat attracted to trash, I love it. Listen, listen to speeches. Kiki, go. Um, Ophelia, uh, me, me. Love that.

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Uh, Coco, you want your daughters with two syllable white rivers?

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Uh, eleganza, eleganza, eleganza e joking.

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I wish I would say oh I'm so sorry to anyone called eleganza out there who's offended.

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But there's no one I'm eleganza ridiculous. Beever housing. Beevor housing.

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OK, last night we've we've actually had some good TV. I want to say we have some good sex. OIga, I have seen little fires everywhere, which was amazing.

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We watched that. We kind of gave up on This is us. And last night we started a program called Soul Mates.

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And it was so basically it you could be whoever you are with, blah, blah. But they found a way to find your actual soul mate. And you can go and you can have this test and they'll tell you who your soulmate is.

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Big holes in the story, but go on.

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And so this woman was married and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And she went to she then went to find her soulmate when she was married. And I said, spane, would you do it? And he said, no, I wouldn't.

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And I was like, well, I would, but I don't know. I'm trying to find my soulmate.

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I feel like you're my soulmate. But I'd still like want to see.

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That's like saying, um, I can prove to you that I've got a better wifey than your wife. Scientifically proven that she'll be better for you. Do you want to meet her. That's what the show's about, just in passing. Yeah, but you I just wouldn't I just say I just say f your science, shove it up your sphincter. I'm I'm I'm very happy where I am. Thank you very much.

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I'm so nosy. Like, why why would you trust the science. I would never trust anyone. I didn't say I trust the science. Does that a nosiness. I'd like to take the test and see but I wouldn't pay but I wouldn't leave you promise.

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But it's a bit like it's a crazy concept, which is why they made it into a series.

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What do you believe? I believe in soul mates. Yeah, cause you're my soul mate. Oh, thanks, man. You might be lying if some test told me that you weren't, I wouldn't really care. Yeah, me neither. OK, a relationship is what you make it like.

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They're all breaking up willy nilly in this show to go with their real soul mates like this one. Bad thought a husband would take it. Well, when she gets off to Argentina with Miguel, it's like you having a laugh because. All right, look at me go. You don't even like it. We haven't even seen the girl yet. You said I did. We saw him on the road.

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What? Yeah, she drove by him. The red had one drove by a mogul. New one. Miguel, I don't know if his name is Miguel, is it is Miguel, is it? Yes. OK, well, at least we were watching parts of it together.

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Um, um, so so you wouldn't go and find your mate if he found out that I wasn't her, I would have absolutely zero interest in that.

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I wouldn't care at all. Having said that, if he started becoming like an absolute monster, then of course I would. OK, we were talking about soulmates, right, and then right there is this thing I saw in the paper, OK, a girl wrote into the agony and section of a paper with a following problem of someone who definitely isn't Holly Willoughby.

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My husband has always had a crush on a certain books and blonde TV presenter. It escalated when he was furloughed last year and started watching her late morning show. At first I joked it was a crush, but then he dropped her name into conversations as if he knew her.

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Since then, he bought me a dress from her clothing line. When I accused him of trying to turn me into her, he called me ridiculous. To top it off, his friend gave him a calendar of her for Christmas. Am I right to be offended? Is it normal for a grown man to have bizarre crushes?

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I find it creepy. Well, he obviously just fancies a lie, but I wouldn't say that it was like threatening to your relationship now.

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Loads and loads of people fancy, like people who they perceive to be different.

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Now, I knew you'd say that either. I like obviously you can look at certain girls and be like, oh, you know, they're quite attractive, but I don't fancy anyone.

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Excuse me. Here. Excuse me. Come on here. So.

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So you think of the seven billion people in the world. There aren't several attractive people, not one except me.

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OK, fine. Yeah, no, you're right. I think I see you here. Do you fancy anything. I don't fancy anyone. I used to know I used it.

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I honestly I give this so little thought and I like, I like I would never sit there like browsing Instagram thinking like oh yeah, I fancy her.

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It's weird.

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I like I used to fancy Ariana Grande loads now for whatever reason I think she's weird. Um, I kind of, I used to fancy uh. What's her name.

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Claudia Schiffer. Is it. The blonde one, is she there? What about Claudia Schiffer? I used to fancy who's got the good looking daughter, but the mom, Randy Garber's wife, Cindy, called Cindy Crawford. Yeah, I fancy her Eilert ISIS right now.

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So that Molly, Molly, they're good choices. You know, why would falsifies Michelle Pfeiffer.

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Yeah. Early Michelle Pfeiffer. They're not now. She still looks great. She's okay. Michelle's like, yeah, yeah.

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But like I used to kind of I used to be I used to really kind of think, oh yeah, go on. Fancy, I fancy and like now it's just like I think we've got so much going on and kids and we're married and it's just like it's just not a prominent kind of thought I'd say.

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I don't know your husband, obviously whoever wrote this. But like I'd say that it's probably not a dangerous kind of I would be worried.

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I mean, Holly Willoughby is quite pretty and she's really married. We're not considering Holly Willoughby in Hollywood. He's not just suddenly going to turn around to go, I fancy deve so we can still find people. Just because you're on a diet doesn't mean you can't look at the menu where you love the menu.

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I find the menu.

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You fancy loads of men who look nothing like me, which is great. I think it's awesome to be diverse.

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I'm very eclectic taste. I wouldn't really I couldn't say Oh I like dark, tall and handsome. I couldn't say that because it's not always the case.

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Well, I am tall, dark and handsome, so dark and handsome. Okay.

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And he was in a TV show. I did the six o'clock live show last night in Ireland and I gave this what I thought was a very nice interview.

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And then at the end the presenter went, Oh, he's just so nice. He's so nice.

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And now the presenter is like, Yeah, no. Yes he is. He is really nice. And she's a shame. He's so short.

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Shamie so sure. Marein. Yeah. That's a name Mirin. I can't believe he said that about my husband. He's not short. I'm actually not that short.

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I'll have you know if you, if you google how tall I am, it's wrong.

[00:21:27]

Do you ever get jealous. I don't get jealous. I get jealous when I'm pregnant.

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I don't get jealous at all. Maybe a touch. Maybe a touch when I'm pregnant.

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Oh yeah. But like that's normal. Your hormones are all off. Yeah. I'm like I don't really get jealous size up but like you have nothing to be jealous about. To be fair, I don't exactly put you through hell, but even when there was no lockdown, I don't go out, I don't go to bars, I don't meet my mates, I don't drink, unlike in terms of having a dynamite husband that you would want on pretty much that.

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No cheese tomato.

[00:21:59]

So if you ever heard somebody like, is there anything you're not good at, just out of interest? I'm not great at boxing.

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As we touched on last week, uh, I actually dislocated my shoulder shadow boxing the other day, which is one of the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me.

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Um, yeah.

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So I think shadow boxing is the most embarrassing thing to happen to anyone. I to go to a boxing class, I'm like, OK, time for shadow boxing.

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And I'd be like, please, no, I want to hit something. Baras Yeah.

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I asked Instagram. I said there was this thing going around where everyone was doing their assumptions, like, what do you assume about me? And I asked Instagram what they assumed about us.

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So this is the most common one that constantly came up. Vogue wears the pants in the relationship.

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And I don't know what that company came up on your Instagram, you know, but can you not see the way people want to shower you with what you want to hear?

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It's funny. I don't think that's a compliment. Well. Well, how is that a compliment? It's not. It's like saying I'm bossy, but it's not true.

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Well, you are a little bit you know, they're not they're not they're not completely blind to it, obviously.

[00:23:04]

I have to be a little bit bossy, especially because you're just like you have your set things that you want to do for the day. And they usually involve work and just you. And sometimes I have to be bossy with stuff.

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Yeah, OK. What if what if we weren't in lockdown and I was just at the office all day.

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I just be working all day so that's the same as here am. So I wouldn't be available today to go and do the dishwasher usually.

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So why is it different.

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I do not, I don't wear the pants in the relationship.

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I say that I am the org. I'm the chief organizer of the house and everything to do with the home. So maybe it comes across. So I am you can be the pants, you can be the CEO of the House Chief Operating Officer.

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I dhafer that's fine. You can have that. I don't think anybody else wants that job also. What was I going to say. I don't think so either. I'm not sure I want it. But anyway, I've been lumped with this. What was I going to say? You're also this whole wearing the pants thing.

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That's a very kind of, you know, stigmatized view of a relationship that somebody has to be wearing the pants. I think that essentially nowadays, if we're going to dig into it, if you can share the pants or not wear pants at all, that's the best option.

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If I could take the pants off and give the pants to somebody else, I'd give them to you. You're not wearing the pants. They would disagree. OK, I know, but I don't want the organizing pants always.

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I don't want to always want what you lot. You you organize things that you want to organize. I don't wake up and say, oh darling, sort the coffee-table out. You want to do that.

[00:24:26]

So of course you better coffee because you're going to organize it and I'll babe, these bastards are a bit like Nukaga. A new set like OK, another assumption.

[00:24:35]

You spend most of your time laughing together. We do laugh a lot. We do enjoy each other's company up. But if you could magic Spencer to be four inches taller, you would.

[00:24:44]

Yeah, I would as well. I'd like to be honest with you. He'd like to be four inches taller.

[00:24:48]

I could do a big four inch smaller, four inches tall of an Adonis.

[00:24:52]

And I'd love to be I'd be a perfect height if I was four inches smaller. I'd love to be that height. That is the kind of one thing that life, you know, just dishes out. It's like, oh, I feel really good about everything for lack of a better order. Nothing. I could be a bit smaller. What was I going to say now?

[00:25:09]

I had something interesting about the past. Also, we didn't really put ourselves in positions ever.

[00:25:15]

That requires one person to react, you know what I mean?

[00:25:19]

Like if I said to you, post lockdown, obviously. Oh, babe, I have to go to New York for ten days for work. Like, unless you if you couldn't come, you'd be happy with that.

[00:25:30]

So we would never need to have that kind of.

[00:25:33]

Well, what are you going to be doing in New York?

[00:25:35]

You know, because we trust each other and it's very important to trust each other and love each other completely. So actually, the wearing of the pants only comes into play if you can't really trust me.

[00:25:47]

I know we're going on about parts of it too much. If we have to talk about the plans, I'm probably a little bit bossy because that's just the way I am.

[00:25:52]

Yeah, but I would I would never I asked you for a coffee the other day. It felt like the first time I've ever asked you for that. When I said, please, can I have a coffee I don't think I've ever asked you for, don't ask me for very much coffees because I usually do everything else anyway. Right. OK, another assumption. You have a dry ski slope in the garden.

[00:26:10]

You are. Somebody assumes we have a dry ski slope in the garden. No, we don't. Oh yeah. Yeah we do.

[00:26:16]

Of course. Yeah.

[00:26:18]

We've got, we've got, we've got a BMX track out there as well. Yeah. We don't even have a garden. It's actually a terrorist cell. What it's called sounds a bit posh and it's a balcony. Spencer wants to move to Ireland.

[00:26:30]

Spencer secretly wants to move to Ireland. Now he doesn't. But you do want to spend more time there.

[00:26:34]

I don't mind Ireland at all. I don't see it as a as my primary residence because it wouldn't make too much sense for work at the moment. You know, companies growing really, really quickly. I need to be around my team and none of them live in Ireland. So, um, I love Ireland.

[00:26:49]

I think it's great. I love the Irish in particular. I really enjoy the Irish. Um, but I feel like Hoath, there's kind of like a holiday destination for us, not a home I love.

[00:26:59]

OK, OK.

[00:27:01]

You both always feel you have to have the last word.

[00:27:04]

I'd say I'm more of like I've got that everywhere. I'm like now I feel like since a child I've had that you would prefer to lose a limb or jump out of a plane without a parachute then admit they're wrong 100 percent like I have never won. You have never in the four years we've been together, you it's not true. You've never once turned around and gone.

[00:27:27]

You know what? I was wrong there. Oh, I'm sorry. What? Never. Excuse me.

[00:27:32]

I've apologized maybe twice for the two times I was over recently for the two times I was ever wrong.

[00:27:37]

If I had a penny for every time, you're wrong, OK, I became even more sensitive.

[00:27:41]

Spencer is the same exact true or not positive effect. I have pretty posh, I'm quite posh. I'm nowhere near as posh as some people I know.

[00:27:50]

I know my accent.

[00:27:52]

This because the school I went to know my my family aren't as posh me. They kind of are I suppose. But I don't think, I don't think we operate in a very like, you know, we don't have a coat of arms and go shooting all the time.

[00:28:03]

Yeah. Pretty much everything. You ever give a gong for dinner gone somewhere in Scotland. Oh, that's just part of the service.

[00:28:11]

Anyone who stays at has if I can go so many for us, I mean with the place I have to answer the posh Thebarton like before I don't notice it anymore because I'm around you so much. But when we first got to know each other every so often, I would like to see so posh. You're from Hoath.

[00:28:29]

Like, anyone's going to seem posh, like anyone in England is going to seem posh coming from both am OK. You have lots of sexy time. Yeah, standard. Well, like about as much as a married couple with two kids could have, I'd say.

[00:28:43]

Yeah. I mean, I think I think it's pretty good when I speak to my friends, I think that we're like, oh yeah, yeah, we have more sex and lots of our friends who have no kids. So, you know, how do we do it?

[00:28:53]

Just just ask and we won't answer because we don't like sexy talking. I mean, he was asked, like, if I say, oh, baby, let's have a bit of afternoon delight, you'd be like, fucking damn right, let's go pogo me up.

[00:29:05]

We're not talking about how often either, because I don't want my mom listens to this, maybe ask what your mom had sex to have you. You see her.

[00:29:14]

You both love black pudding.

[00:29:15]

I think, you know, I got some I got some in the fridge back in the oven.

[00:29:20]

I'd love some say are delicious. And you can get black and white clonakilty pudding, which is the best one. You can actually get it off Accardo.

[00:29:30]

Spencer isn't informed about half the stuff Vogue buys you by more than anyone I've ever met, like what your Amazon account singlehandedly props up Jeff Bezos as well.

[00:29:42]

I know, but I buy like I buy our toilet paper and stuff of Amazon tea, Izumo every every single day. I'd say, you buy something from Amazon.

[00:29:50]

I buy next to nothing. Being the CEO of this house means that I have to keep up to date on like I bought agave syrup do the day we didn't have any left. I had to buy notice that I'd run out. What were you thinking?

[00:30:03]

Yeah, I know. I'll run it for half a dollar.

[00:30:05]

Zero. Yeah. If you want to keep your job, make sure that there's always little don't want the job ads. Order coffee. I don't even like coffee. Coffee's delicious. The red pods.

[00:30:15]

I got the red. Two hundred of them. Yes. Yeah.

[00:30:17]

That should see me through to the end of the week. OK, see is a mummy's boy G is a daddy's girl. Correct. That is true. Come on. I know you'd like to sit here and say both kids prefer me. Give it to me.

[00:30:30]

OK, he definitely prefers ok you can have a jeje. When I walk into the room she lights up. She does love.

[00:30:36]

So when I'm breastfeeding her at night, like if she hears Fanny's voice she like rips off my boob and it's so painful and literally has her head back, like looking completely backwards to try and see where he is.

[00:30:48]

So I have to if he's in the room, he has to sit at a place where she can feed and look at him at the same time.

[00:30:53]

She's the absolute apple of Dana's eye. I love her. OK, let's talk a little bit more.

[00:30:59]

Oh, sweet, sweet little cubby bear.

[00:31:03]

OK, you rip the absolute piss out of each other for the laws, but really love each other. Yeah, it's essential to rip the piss out of each other.

[00:31:10]

I mean, look, I look at the state of her. She's the easiest target.

[00:31:12]

Look at the state he's sitting duck. Look at the say to you. What do you mean?

[00:31:16]

I look I look like a kind of turkey, but I might have even up my time face out of your moisturizer yakuza. OK, I thought, yeah.

[00:31:25]

Spenser's more high maintenance. Please tell the truth. Tell the truth.

[00:31:31]

How long do you spend shaving your entire body? I love shaving my body. Yeah. So you are like. Yes, no, that's not what they mean. I if I decide to shave my body, I'm getting in no one's way. I don't what she means. I mean, do you think I'm high maintenance. No.

[00:31:48]

But you're more high maintenance than me. Yeah. Probably would say that I am the lowest maintenance ever. I never asked for anything. I don't require anything from anyone. I don't even lean on people for advice like like nothing. OK, the pair of you are insanely competitive. Yes. Yes. Obviously when A is the less strict parent.

[00:32:07]

Yeah, I'd say so. Well, I'm not straight. I kind of bend the rules. I think you give in quicker than I would. Well I just do anything to shut him up.

[00:32:15]

Sometimes you love being parents, but equally enjoy time with just the two of you. Like any parent.

[00:32:20]

When seven o'clock bedtime comes and you're kind of delighted to just be able to sit on the couch and do nothing when lockdown ends, I'm going to take you on a romantic trip and I'm not going to tell you where we're going.

[00:32:32]

OK, I'd like that. It's only for two nights now where you want to go to home.

[00:32:37]

I want to go home. That's right. After Hoath. And I tell you, as soon like Thailand. Straight to Ireland.

[00:32:42]

Yes, OK. You both work. You both work at every single day. We do something active every day. But I try to work I just five times a week for about 45 minutes a day. But I do try and keep active Spanish. Yeah.

[00:32:55]

I mean we probably do work out most days the best shape I've ever been in, which was recently for Men's Health. I train twice a week and just focused on having the perfect diet through those meals, the months of emails, which were amazing.

[00:33:09]

So actually you do if if if an incredible physique is your goal, then actually overtraining really gets in the way. And it's mainly diet. Yeah, you can't train a bad diet. Well is eighty percent diet is what wants.

[00:33:23]

That's what we like, but we like being active.

[00:33:25]

So like you know exactly if you're not training will go for a walk or something. Well yeah. I mean I think it's very important to remain active. And you know, if you are busy with work, it's definitely a good idea to take an hour of every day just to kind of release, I suppose, left something or run or whatever.

[00:33:44]

OK, it's time for Tear-jerker, we're going to take a subject and put the items associated with that subject into tiers, rating them either God tier, top tier, mid tier or shit tier. Yeah, this week it's bickies. Biscuits, jammy dodger. Jamie Judge is not the one with a little job in the middle. Oh, yes, certainly. OK, yeah, mad custard cream made the consequence.

[00:34:09]

Really, really. I don't eat biscuits, but. But custard creams are so sweet, I put them mid or low chocolate.

[00:34:16]

Digestive top.

[00:34:18]

Yeah. Tasty though. We're talking about Borbon, so we don't know. Oh no, no, no. Yeah that's OK.

[00:34:22]

Chocolate with the caramel in them. Yeah. McVitie caramel they make if it's to make Vigdis chocolate digestive with the car. With the caramel. That's God that's the best.

[00:34:31]

My mouth watering a pink wafer shite. I like a pink wafer. I do. OK can we just met. Will do. Made a bourbon. Borbon Borbon.

[00:34:40]

The same thing is the chocolate. It's finger. It's totally different. I talk to digestive as to what.

[00:34:46]

Is it different. It's totally different. Man. Oh man. Or with a bourbon is lovely, especially when it's dipped into Borbon.

[00:34:55]

Just where it's not bourbon Borbon. Right. It's going to top a Garibaldi. You what's what's a Garibaldi's. I'm fucking Italian artist.

[00:35:03]

It's the one with the raisins in it. Oh, I like the raisin one. Even though I don't like raisins. I like that one because the social group will go mad though hobnob Akman hobnobs easily.

[00:35:12]

The bastard got up top are going well you're going to get a garden a second Richard. I like rich. Oh no, no, no shit.

[00:35:20]

The worst litsky. What. There's just basic Peski overachiever.

[00:35:24]

No God no rank orio god. Yeah God.

[00:35:28]

Obviously Ginger not I love Vortigern or two top. You don't love Giant. I love a biscuit.

[00:35:33]

Yeah I know you do. I do. I love a biscuit.

[00:35:36]

I'm going to get myself those caramel chocolate digestives today.

[00:35:40]

So this is, this is why it's so hard to stay on track with the diet because the CEO of the house, you open the fridge and there's like nineteen bricks of Cadbury's caramel chocolate and actually they're all gone and that's going to be like fifteen packets of chocolate or bickies.

[00:35:58]

OK, couples cards, Nat, do you still own anything from your childhood, anything, do you mean? Yeah, yeah. Uh, you got that black jelly dancers? Yeah, my grandmother's teddy bilberry.

[00:36:11]

I have my Teddy Jonathan over at our house in Hoath forever. Yeah, no, nothing else, really.

[00:36:17]

I kind of feel that life goes on. I've spent very little time thinking about the past.

[00:36:21]

If you could commit the perfect crime, would you know I love rules. Absolutely not. I can't stand rules.

[00:36:27]

Uh, I find rules to be just ridiculous. Obviously, like driving on the right side of the road is an important rule, you know, that should be abided. But what would I if I could commit the perfect crime, would I would I get a thrill out of it without killing someone? Oh, no. Oh, like robbing a bank. Yeah, well, no, that's my money that's in there. No, I don't want to do that.

[00:36:48]

OK, what's the most useless talent you have. You know, what are both of our useless talent. Have a guy have a go of a barbecue. Uh, we both speak backslapping. Do you remember that when you were kids and you're listening? Possibly.

[00:37:02]

So that's it. Oh, God. Oh, he is loving all civicus. I go out OK.

[00:37:08]

I have again and again. Never go back. I have got.

[00:37:13]

Yeah that was right. Whatever, whatever we can do that.

[00:37:15]

But it's stupid. What would be the creepiest thing someone could say to you or passing you in the street.

[00:37:21]

I'm off to get your kids. Yeah. I'll be pretty weird. Something weird. I don't like that one. It's weird when you shower.

[00:37:27]

What's the first thing you wash pitts' Pitt's armpits. Yeah, weirdly.

[00:37:32]

Shoulder, shoulders, arms, armpits. Then I go down into the from behind uh and then the front and then my legs, head, shoulders, you know some people down then I'll wash my hands before going in for the face.

[00:37:46]

Some people don't wash their feet and they shower. They just let the water dribble over their feet. I wash my feet.

[00:37:51]

Did you know that the cumulative smell of feet comes from the top of your foot, not the bottom Baydon of that? No, I didn't from here. Not everyone got that wrong. OK, if you were a kitchen appliance, what would you be?

[00:38:03]

I'll be. I would like to be our toaster. It's so nice. OK, I'd be a kettle. I'm boiling hot.

[00:38:12]

Kettle on toaster go together as well as when I was waiting for.

[00:38:17]

OK, now it is time for emails from our listeners. First up, shall I team keep the podcasts coming? I've seen those lovely tracksuits. Thank you. On Instagram, I'm dying for one. My question is, if you could do a collaboration with one designer, who would it be?

[00:38:33]

Ralph Lauren. Yeah. And then he get all the free Ralph stuff, the standard that that's obvious.

[00:38:38]

We'll do Ralph Lauren because for an ulterior motive, we'll get all the Ralph Lauren home. We'll get to have all this Ralph Lauren, vintage Ralph Lauren.

[00:38:46]

I should have said, well, that's it's funny. And as always, we would love to hear your thoughts. Send in your emails. Spencer and Vogue part at G.M. dot com. And please subscribe to the podcast wherever you're testing a drop of five stars. Review. Yeah. You know, see you next week.

[00:39:03]

See you next week. You'll never call anyone else before Glaslough. Don't really love. Love you. Yeah, well, I love you. Bye bye. Love you.