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[00:00:03]

Hello and welcome to the Spencer Invoke podcast, series five, Episode 18, Series two, Episode 12 The last episode of Series two Epic like that sounds like a break and a renegotiation.

[00:00:18]

Yeah, baby, this is actually the last episode of Series two. And you know, it's when I have to say I really enjoyed in this part of you.

[00:00:26]

We got a full hour of pure peace and quiet where we can talk all the stuff we want and I can control the shit you say.

[00:00:35]

Well, it's a good thing that we do have a producer, IMO, who does go through this once you've done it and removes everything controversial that I say, which leaves me with a much smaller part than, well, actually ever listens to it, then I have to listen to it.

[00:00:51]

Then our manager has to listen to it because Spencer, like we would love to be the only person who doesn't listen.

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So he doesn't listen to it, but he's he's already been here, he says. So he doesn't listen to The Godfather. Fair. Fair enough.

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But I really want to do like a live podcast and I want to do it. And so you can do is move up to a thousand people and you could charge for tickets like a five hour ticket or something like that.

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What are we going to do, give it a chance? Yeah, exactly. So I was thinking of doing that and then I was like, I don't know if I could trust Spencer on an hour long zoom past, like what would come out of his mouth that we couldn't take back.

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It doesn't take long for me to drift in to kind of weird, like when I first when I'm hungry or can't be bothered to do something.

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I typically kind of I start saying weird things.

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He starts getting snotty about things. Yeah.

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And my mind drifts into like no certain answer gets not even things. You are snotty snorter sneezer. You always have snots.

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If I was a dog I could be one of those little German schnauzers with the mustache. Schnatter Oh my God. I saw this dog with a full on page yesterday. Alexander was just like that dog. Looks like he's got something to tell you.

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And it is. Yeah, full blown eyebrows.

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He looks like he like smokes a pipe in his spare time. You know, the dog.

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We can actually go on to compete at the week because my pick of the week. Right.

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We have, you know, every so often you've got to get your your face painted like you can't go years and years and years without getting it to. We're trying to update a little bit in this house.

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And we decided that we would get new paint on a new wallpaper.

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And it's cheered us both up eventually. But she said, you OK?

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Because you just take complete charge like the wrecking ball that you are. You don't listen to anything or anyone know.

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You just do exactly what you want. You want orange in one room, pink in another room, purple in another room.

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No, no, no, I don't want that. I want Suslow.

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And you just want to do everything in baby pink and blue shoes.

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Sorry, Alex. The Alex who he is the decorator and he has told us he's like an interior designer as well. So he has told us what works well and what flows together when he wants to do like one room orange one.

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And it's like that's not how it works. I know you love color, but we have to have a house that flows into each other.

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And we're all I'm saying is that I am artistic and you don't listen Spanish.

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I'm artistic as well. Like to own everything you did that bird. What do you do? You painted drawing in my life.

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No, it's not. But it's anything I've seen you draw. And it's not because art.

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Pardon me, it's not that good. It's not good, it's a medium I wouldn't get any signs from my company.

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Signs are God, he worked with a bottle designer.

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Yeah, well, how the fuck else design? That's me saying I'm like, I'm working with with the little guys. And I'm like, oh, I want this paint.

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Are they have anything that's comparable to designer giving me options?

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I'm not stealing their thoughts. They're stealing my thoughts. That's the point. Okay.

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Okay, okay. I'm just saying I'm artistic too. You know who owns the butterfly pay me personally. Okay, well that's nice. Yeah. It's a nice bottle. It is a nice bottle.

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Thank you very much I think. The why don't we ask our listeners, OK, so you can see, by the way, you can see the bird that I drew in this show and it's magnificent how day it's in motion.

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It's it's like not that if I if I look at that one day, I'm expecting to turn around and see that thing gone like the bird gone because it's so real. Like sometimes I look at it and I think that, like, how did that bird get in her? That's that's how I feel. It's grand.

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I'll give it a seven out of ten. I feel like you've been living and married to this great talents that you're you're unaware.

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I don't feel like, you know, the extent to try and tell us how every single day. I think, like try to tell you every day that I'm good at art.

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People in the pod, every pod, you tell us at least three or four things that you're the best in the world as we have course. Why do you think people tune into this? They want to hear about us because you are the best.

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Yeah, exactly. You're the best. That is, you're the best around it.

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It you said it yourself.

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What was your pick of the week? Probably realizing just how brilliant I am. Um, well, is a busy day, my pick, my pick of the week. What is it I told you this morning, I forgot that they were going to ask him to talk about something as my pick of the week.

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Oh, yeah, I remember. What is it at the door? Yeah. Oh, and by the way, I'm going to pull you up on something you never say please or thank you. So can you set a better example for our children, please. Like literally my wife this morning, she decided she wanted to go and she's like, let's go running. I, I actually don't feel like running today. I'm not going to cause I'm training and 12 and goes Virgos.

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All right. Um, set up the pod while I'm gone. Spen and just walked out, set up the pod while I'm gone.

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Spen OK. And then just when I was like I nearly one shoved the pod where the sun don't shine.

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We did the peak of the week, I almost don't like doing a pitch because you know what the pit is and we were speaking about this yesterday, pit the news.

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I mean, we get that like things aren't going swimmingly well.

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But I just think the news makes everything so much worse and so much more doom and gloom. And if you have to do the doom and gloom, can you not just have, like, some uplifting things as well, like have an uplifting thing?

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Yeah. French news is actually better. And I don't know, actually the American business news story as well. But there's this kind of British doomy, gloomy.

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It's like there's never any good news ever.

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It's like they thrive on terrifying everyone.

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Death, death, death. Like it's just like you can't get away from it. I think it's going to be very detrimental to a lot of people's health. I used to love Good Morning Britain.

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I used to, you know, Piers Morgan, actually. I find him really amusing. I really liked his honor as well.

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But now it's just so like, I dunno, it's really boring to its to do me and gloomy.

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Really boring, really confrontational, really argumentative. It's just disgusting.

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It's too early in the morning.

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I feel like if you wake up and start watching that kind of stuff in the morning, it's just puts you in a shit, you in a bad mood as you and you've got to you've got to start your day with nice things.

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That's why I've started my day. I don't even bring my phone into the kitchen anymore. I'm really trying not to have my phone ringing. I've actually noticed you've been better on your phone.

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Yeah, I know you are.

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I mean, starting from an incredibly low base, I have to say, you know, there is improvement there as an improvement. I leave my phone in the bedroom in the morning and then I don't like to be on it around the kids and which makes makes you be on a lot less. I just don't like them seeing me with my phone. But and I think that taking in parts of the news at different parts of the day is probably better for you.

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I don't like watching mean things or negative things before I go to sleep either.

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I'm going to have a complete social revamp. I decided yesterday, you know, things that genuinely interested me and I find exciting, I think that's the kind of what I'm going to put out there because I don't really do anything on it.

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And I like, you know, I'll post a picture of me wearing something and, you know, I'll talk about something that, you know, I just I just find I find most about TV, movies, watches, business stuff.

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I care about it just I just think it's I spend kind of most of my day doing certain things, and that's not what I put out there.

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I don't really want to put anything out there, but if I'm going to use it, I might as well make it kind of a more accurate representation of myself.

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Well, that is a good idea. And I said, yeah, I actually I'm into that idea. I can't wait to see it coming to fruition. I'm going to delete most of it. I'm going to start again. No, don't start again. Don't I hate when people do that, don't you? It's like when, you know, when people break up with people and they delete every trace of them, like, what's the point? It's just I just wouldn't do that.

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Yeah, it depends who they are. I know. Obviously, if someone's, like, complete, someone's like, oh, no, you're just kind of like I'd rather there's no evidence of our relationship ever actually happening. So if anyone ever asked you about my Instagram doesn't exist. Yeah. You know, if it's not an instant, then it's not real.

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Yeah, I hate that saying it's not. And that didn't happen. No.

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I just thought of one of our pets so sweaty and I were watching this great program on Netflix and it's got Bono's daughter, who's actually brilliant.

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She's a fantastic actor. She's a great actress. No actor, OK, actor, whatever.

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That's exactly what's her name again? Bonnie Bono's daughter now. What's her name? Ali Hewson. Anyway, she was absolutely brilliant and the show was absolutely brilliant.

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We'd spent loads of time watching everybody give it away, though, obviously, because people are watching. And you know what?

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Some people might be on the third or fourth that you can't be give it off. What do I do agree with you, though? It was just bitterly disappointing. In fact.

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In fact, when it first happens, I don't want to say what it is. Obviously, when it first happened, I was like, Jesus Christ.

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I've spent a lot of money on this kind of perfectly pointless scene. And then it kind of carried on the whole way through to the end. And I was just like, I feel robbed of my time.

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Like, I really enjoyed it up until around the last two.

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You should be picking up with Instagram. You feel robbed your time. Now, this was only this stole three hours of your time.

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And I was just so especially, like, bitterly disappointed.

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How bitter, though. Like bitter. Like a lemon or bitter. Like an unripe. I can't think of anything else. Better.

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Better like a lemon. A filthy, bitter lemon.

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So we were absolutely enraged by that show we were watching just because we kind of fell in love with it.

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And then it just got so terrible at the end.

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And I was thinking, what else is rage inducing? And I think it would be a great time to get out a couple of things that bother us about each other. So I was thinking one of the things that bothers me about you.

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When did we agree to do this? Oh, sorry. I agreed to do all right. You've just come up with it.

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What annoys what annoys you? I love I'm using this public forum to to tell me what you don't like about me having. Let's go.

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So we have a thing about light. Spencer leaves the lights on and everywhere I walk into the bedroom of the bedroom, I see on the bathroom lights beyond the dressing room.

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I will be on the TV will be left on. And I'm one of those people that turns them all off before I leave the house and he just refuses to do it. So I think that you need to be more light savvy.

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I leave them all on purpose. Just see. No, because in London, which is can be considered a dangerous city, people are far less likely to rob a house with the lights on.

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Well, why don't you just leave one light on?

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Not all of them, obviously not at home. Why would we have one light on? You don't need the lights on in the back because I was with the lights on.

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If you jumped over the fence and you on the and you were looking into the house and all the lights were on, you'd think people home so you wouldn't have a break in. OK, I'll just have to keep two, I just have to keep turning off all the lights until I'm back on, obviously, because I don't want to get robbed now. Well, we're going to we're in the sitting room. We don't need to have the lights of the bedroom.

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Um, we've got lights on in here. I have an incredible deal with EDF.

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You know, if you turn them on and you tell them it won't make any difference, really, you don't have a good deal. Did you have a fantastic shot? They even know that we are electric with EDF Electric. Yeah. OK, yeah, uh, electrifying look, you're doing your weird finger, but I was going to go on to that next to you.

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Weird finger have I just I know goes by the way our daughter does that.

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She does. She does do this. Yeah, I see.

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It looks like a lot of what she does this when she's eating both hands. I don't like her arms. Don't get tired. I say sweet.

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She gets a finger, have it off you ok. The finger hovering stay then. I think it's just a bit creepy that I do. I move my fingers, but he doesn't move any of the rest of his body and he'll just be looking at you just with the finger. Should it should have been a pianist obviously.

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Um, I believe she was on, you know, that annoys me.

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OK, we will go into this. Did you know that somebody who plays the piano is called The Pianist? Honestly, are you also asked me that question?

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Well, two seconds ago, you did say, I'm surprised that you knew I was joking. I was joking with the electric gods sake.

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What do you mean when you say pianist, you just ask me what a pianist is. Yeah. Honestly, how stupid do you think I am sometimes?

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I think you're like my mom. Very sweet. I'm I'm missing.

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Simple thing, something, you know, for a fact that I am not stupid or anyone anywhere near me. I'll be calling my mom stupid. Your mom is not stupid.

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I know. She does get like little words wrong, which is very sweet. That's because she's from Africa. English is not a first language. It is. OK, well, I was trying to have Jane's back English, though.

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OK, right now. What annoys you about the Allsorts?

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Oh, you never say please or thank you to me, although you teach it to our kids, which is a good thing. I work on that.

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I didn't even notice that. So if that's true, I'd hate to be one of those people. So I'll work on it, you know, just from time to time.

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You're right. You'll be like, oh, bring the bring the bring my coat up. OK, I know, but you asked me to do so.

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I wouldn't say that you say please all the time. I would literally if I ask you to make me a coffee I said, darling, would you mind making me a coffee please. I wouldn't have a work for my please and thank you.

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OK, I think you will, I will explain my reasoning for that. I think that sometimes because I do so much the stuff around the house, when I asked you to set up the part I like, I'll just set up the part. I didn't even think as I'm pleased because it's something that I do every day that I thought that, like, maybe you would do it, but you couldn't.

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Please, if you need me to do it. OK, this is always nice to and thank you. Um, what else. I don't know why we're talking about what.

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Because I love these things. God, give me one more thing that's annoying about me. You can't ever like you can't ever just give yourself nothing to do at points in the day.

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Always, just actually it's impossible to just like sit down and watch a film with my wife. Can't do it if I wasn't capable.

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They are not they have you not known as of seven o'clock. I do nothing anyway. You will say. You will say. Oh but this is what I have to get back to my emails.

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Do you recall during the day you're like you're like emptying out, you're emptying out wardrobes and then refilling them and then you get all the plop pot plants and then refilling and then watering everything and then changing all the furniture.

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It's just like leave the furniture and not notice how good I've gotten lately where I don't do any. Your best recently. Yeah, I've made my I've met so I'll continue.

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I have a serious social media addiction as well. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah I guess. But yeah, if it was a drug you would have OD'd by now. Well we're lucky it's not.

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OK, we're going to take a compatability quiz, right, like the thing from the other show that went down the drain as the oh me.

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Oh I know. Started so well, I ended up just great first episode. Then I got lazy, lazy, lazy.

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OK, let's play the compatability quiz. Who tends to go to bed later between you and your partner.

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You do make performing every night we go to the bed at the same time.

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Oh really. We do go to bed at the same time. Yeah, we get into bed at the same time. All go to sleep 10 minutes past 11 every single night without fail because I FGI 11, which I love.

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The house is very quiet and it's somber and I pick up my sweet sweet humbug and I've pumped full of milk and then put her back in her crib and watch her go back to sleep.

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OK, you ready? Lovely. What do you appreciate most about your partner? Financial security, your intelligence sense of humor, caring and good looks? Oh, if I have to choose one thing, I'm going to say that you're caring, right?

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Are you going to go for my for my money yet?

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Are. No, I think of poor intelligence. I'd like to think we have all of this. Yeah, I know we do, but we can only choose one if we have to choose one. It has to be carrying one of.

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It's stupid, though. Well, you need someone to be carrying. Yeah, but I wouldn't I wouldn't ever like marry someone because they have one quality.

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I know, I know. I'm high end enough to be able to pick and choose. Imagine this quiz is very good. Let's just, let's just go through it, OK? Oh I think I think you're very caring.

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I love your sense of humor. You're financially stable and sound, which is of course, very nice. Yeah.

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Yeah. And you're a good looking you have a great sense of humor, your caring. You are quite intelligent. You've got a few bob. That's never bad.

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Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well all of the above.

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Yeah. We could only pick one.

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Is it OK to ever tell a lie to your partner. It completely defends its hands. Yeah. Yeah it completely depends.

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Like obviously if you like flying to Vegas to like sleep with a hooker and you lie about it, then that's obviously not on. But if you're like lying to keep your partner from something that, you know, will really hurt them, that isn't a negative kind of impact on your relationship or your life, then that's fine. You know, for example, honey, did you remember to to grab Cheerios in the shop? Oh, yeah. And you do a 180 and get the Cheerios.

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Yeah. You know, fine. You know, because if you go out, you know you know, I don't give a shit about the Cheerios. I'm not buying them.

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I had Cheerios on Sunday when I was in radio. Quite a disappointing cereal.

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All right. So, yeah, little little white lies.

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I mean, obviously, you know that the way forward is to kind of see if we will think actually telling all of the truth all of the time can often lead to complications.

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OK, how often do you and your partner disagree over what you want to do that day? That's one of the good things about us. We like doing the same stuff.

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And I think that makes a real difference in a relationship because it's not like like, well, you didn't want to go running today.

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Oh, I didn't go out. OK, who cooks the most in your relationship?

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You do you cook the most?

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Um, I think so. I feel like you're going to go and say something mean after. No, no, no. I just like I kind of I don't know, I do like cooking. I think I'm just not that bothered by. It's kind of like art, like I'm good a job. I can't really be bothered. Like I don't I don't get joy from creating artwork, just as I don't really get that much joy out of cooking like I enjoy.

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I like cooking, but it's more of a kind of like, OK, what are we doing to feed the family? It's not like, oh, how can I impress my wife? I'd rather it is.

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Oh, now that we've talked about cooking, I'm kind of like I have an officer for a roast. I do a roast tonight. Roast is delicious. What do we want one tonight though.

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I mean, yeah we always like but heavy. Yeah.

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OK, how often do you find yourself wondering what it would be like not to be in your current relationship. Frequently. Rarely. Never.

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Sometimes I never ever never.

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Honestly it's kind of that thought never crossed my mind. I'm one of those horribly smug people who I legitimately couldn't be happier with my life.

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Oh, well, that's that's always the I think that's a I don't think see that as a negative thing to say.

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I know that, like, you've got to be a bit more like I don't know, not that it's a show off thing, but people are always like, oh, it's like it's like in Ireland, if somebody compliments you, you automatically say, oh, well, I mean, look at this, though.

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Like you'll never just take the compliment to real Irish thing. You take the compliment, you let somebody compliment you. But then you'll also have to put yourself down parts of the compliment.

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Yeah, I just take them. I just go. Yeah, you're right. You take them and put them in your compliment. Like, no, I just I just absorb them.

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I just go, yep. Correct.

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OK, in your opinion, what is the most valuable part of a relationship out of the options lifted listed below for communications support? None of these physical attraction and commitment commitment. Obviously.

[00:20:44]

I think that feeling I kind of like fun was very important to have fun, obviously, but like the core of any real relationship is your commitment to one another.

[00:20:54]

And that and that amazing bond that only you share, anyone could be fun and games the fucking circus fun and have fun.

[00:21:01]

OK, who is more important to you, your friends or your romantic partner or romantic partner? Yeah, I can care less about my friend now. I care about my friends.

[00:21:09]

Jeez Louise, I get you more.

[00:21:11]

OK, what is your least favorite part about your significant other less than attractive, boring lack of caring?

[00:21:18]

Just go back to the previous post all about family, family, family, family. You're my family now and my family obviously. So like is all about family. Family can't and shouldn't really let you down. You should open the trust gates to them and be a family is very important. Anyone else. Yeah.

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OK, well what is your least favorite part about your significant other less than attractive, boring lack of caring. None of these broke lack of intelligence like imagine your man from Dumb and Dumber.

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Imagine if. I literally just was like, you're boring. You're broke and you're stupid.

[00:21:52]

Yeah, and oddly, none of your ugly, boring, broke and stupid I often do.

[00:22:00]

You and your partner still go on dates? Sometimes. Rarely. Frequently never. Sometimes. Sometimes, but no.

[00:22:05]

But I'd say that, you know, sounds a bit silly, but even when we're having a bowl of Special K with freshly chopped red berries in the evening, it feels like a bit of a day.

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Don't like putting that I like.

[00:22:15]

No, but I've gone off the Special K, Red Berry and I now just have special cake with actual red berries. So I do like special taste cardboard, but I'm into that because I like rice cakes and I like eating dry.

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Oatcakes is the weirdest thing I've ever seen so much so that's why I like a rich team is absolutely disgusting, disgusting, disgusting.

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OK, do you and your partner share similar political, philosophical or religious beliefs?

[00:22:39]

Yeah, I suppose so. We agree on some things, but not others. We agree politically. I'd say we we are in line with me nowadays.

[00:22:47]

We agree. I'd say I'd say we're like we agree on some things but not others. Yeah. We don't agree on everything.

[00:22:54]

How often do you and or your partner try to make the other person feel good for no reason other than you want them to feel good every day? All the time.

[00:23:01]

Yeah, frequently. Every single time. Every morning I roll over and I grab your hands and they kiss you on the cheek. Sometimes I even have Listerine befouling this and that.

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And then I say and then I say, I love you so much and you need to remember that that's.

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Well, this morning, I don't know what happened this morning, but I woke up by a phone light being shone in my eyes.

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I was. I was yeah.

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I was checking his email, but it was like he had put the phone right against my face because it woke me up.

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I didn't even know you were in I was in a really good dream as well.

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You ruined that for me, was it? You were there in my dream. Right.

[00:23:38]

And one celebrity couple that you feel are most like you and your partner, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi, Sean Penn and Madonna, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett, Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka, Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. Can we see them? Yeah.

[00:23:53]

Yeah, them. I'm Tom Hanks. Was just fucking odd, isn't it? Well, you want me to be Rita? Yeah.

[00:23:58]

Why? Oh my God. We're 100 percent compatible. I but I wanted to see what celebrity couple we were like. Well we said it.

[00:24:05]

It's not going to tell you that we're more like Sean Penn and Madonna. I want to. Oh yeah. Okay, okay. I literally I honestly I forgot that we've chosen Rita and Tom. You're just absurd.

[00:24:15]

You know, I forgot, OK. Oh for goodness sake.

[00:24:19]

For God's sake. I did a a TV show once which required like a three hour test of like picking most likely, less likely. And it was like it's supposed to be a deep dive into your, like, psyche. And apparently I came out ninety nine percent, the same as Jack Nicholson.

[00:24:40]

Oh, wow, I'm shocked. You did well in the. Apparently, according to the bloke who administered the test and we did film this is for BBC or Channel four.

[00:24:50]

He said that they've never seen two more similar test results than Jack Nicholson and me and that we think in exactly the same way.

[00:24:58]

So there must have been like four or 500 questions.

[00:25:01]

It took ages to do this thing, 99 percent, the same as Jack. That's not where I am. Essentially, Jack Nicholson.

[00:25:09]

And actually when I have long hair, I look a bit like a deer.

[00:25:13]

So there we go. Hair is a.

[00:25:20]

OK, last year, last last week, we did the we did our drag names because I'm such a big fan of rap music, this week we're going to do a rap name, right.

[00:25:30]

And post Malone got his name from going into this. My, my my rap name Darkon. That's how he got his name.

[00:25:39]

So I'm going to go see what that has to be. It's true. Pollocks through Postma line got his rap name from some shit website.

[00:25:47]

Do you know mine is crap Vringo Honey Vevo Guðni.

[00:25:53]

OK, let's see what yours is going to be. Oh this website is amazing post Malone definitely got his name from this web page. OK honey, what details what.

[00:26:02]

You know what yours is Spencer. I swear to God that's what they've come up with. Spencer Spencer.

[00:26:10]

And by the way, that's not that's not Spencer like Spencer are like us.

[00:26:15]

It's just my name with a gap in it. Shocker as Pine Gap CEO. Ah, OK.

[00:26:22]

If I did my male rap ratnam. It's rough vevo money. I'm rough.

[00:26:27]

The Vogue money fee FIFO form. This is just garbage.

[00:26:33]

That was garbage. We last week, as well, we did assumptions, which I kind of find entertaining because people had funny little assumptions about us, so we got more assumptions sent in and we want you to send us more.

[00:26:48]

And by the way, because I do think they're quite entertaining. So email them to Spencer and Pod at Gmail dot com.

[00:26:54]

If you do, don't DMA send it to this.

[00:26:57]

Don't do. I will let you know if they're true. OK, the first one is bogus is rubbish at spelling actually. Now be honest, I'm quite good at spelling.

[00:27:05]

You are quite good at spelling. Yeah I get it.

[00:27:08]

And are you, are, you are actually quite good at spelling, weird spelling and multiplication. Yeah.

[00:27:13]

I was about to say actually on the multiplication thing that's a you know that scene in was a rain man. No.

[00:27:23]

Was what's amazing film. Where Will Ferrell old school. Yeah. Where he kind of blacks out on stage and he comes out with the answer to that problem and it beats the NEWSNIGHT guy.

[00:27:32]

You occasionally have moments like that where you just really quick on stuff, but then you also have moments where you just like, don't get it.

[00:27:39]

Oh, the electrics. When I did the electric. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:27:43]

But that was obviously that I didn't think that. Anyway, next assumption. Spencer hates animals.

[00:27:49]

I would say you're a massive animal lover. You don't hate them. You're just a bird to myself.

[00:27:54]

You're just like your kind of if you see Spencer passing Winston, it's the strangest looking thing.

[00:27:59]

He doesn't know it and I just don't like he's not first of all, he's not my dog, OK? I don't just allow like he lives in your dog.

[00:28:07]

He's my old dog into the house. He's my dog. It's like he may as well just wandered in off the street.

[00:28:13]

No, my little Winnie, he's so sweet. So I would say that all I would say Spinney Spinney, I would say spinning. I don't hate animals.

[00:28:21]

By the way. You're a bit impartial to them. I'm impartial to people. It was like, oh, I love dogs and I love horses. Like, no, no.

[00:28:29]

I mean, I'm impartial to lots of things. I'm impartial to to human beings. I'm impartial to animals.

[00:28:34]

I don't hate either. But I'm kind of the occupiers and packages are delivered to your house today, correct? No, that's really gone. It's not quite a thousand fifteen. It's gone now.

[00:28:45]

It's gone right down. Right. I'm not sure that you're aware of the packages arrive.

[00:28:50]

We bring a lot of them in benzer.

[00:28:52]

Smells nice. You smell. I smell. Who said that this is an assumption. Yeah. From who. I don't know. Somebody sent it in. Well yeah.

[00:29:01]

I think it's nice to smell nice. Yeah I smell nice. I got this new perfume but it's very feminine for me and I absolutely love it actually.

[00:29:09]

OK, both of you are closer to Spencer, to Vogue's parents and Spencers now. I think we're close to both. Yeah.

[00:29:17]

We're also we're closer to mine. You're very close. Obviously, you're probably closer to mine, but we speak to my parents most days.

[00:29:23]

Yeah, well, I speak to my mom every single day. Yeah. I don't though I'd like to. I said the other day, be nice to Cassandra Neil.

[00:29:29]

Well, let's call them because I call my mom every day. Yeah. We we collectively speak to my parents every day.

[00:29:33]

Yeah. These parents like that, like I really feel like they're like an extension of, of my family. Was that because, uh. What you mean because they're very well they've welcomed me into the family with open arms.

[00:29:47]

Indeed. God I can't wait to go to your mom's roasts.

[00:29:51]

So when you mom did it, I thought last time we did it we did a very good job. It was very similar. Very similar. But I can't when your mom comes over and makes all those different salads and then we have them for like three days.

[00:30:04]

God, I can't wait till we want baby number three, Aiza, correct?

[00:30:09]

No, I. What do you think all this practice is for thousand?

[00:30:13]

They're not firing blanks. There hasn't been that much practice. Let's get on with them. Firing blanks.

[00:30:16]

Yeah, there hasn't been. No, no, no. I think no Gigi is only just turned seven months has only just turned. Yeah. Yeah. The other day so. No not quite. Yes.

[00:30:27]

Yeah. The other day. Seven months almost.

[00:30:29]

We Aniello you communicate through voice notes. Spencer Matthews. Honestly this is for if you send me your voice now I'll delete it.

[00:30:38]

I won't even open it.

[00:30:39]

I just don't. I simply cannot and will never understand. If you want to call me, I love it, then I'll be able to reply in real time. One thing I will say about voice now, right?

[00:30:54]

If someone sends you a voice note and it's even a minute is even too long, sometimes people send me Kira Lambert. If she's listening, she does my hair in Ireland. Amazing.

[00:31:03]

She sends four to five minute voicemails and I actually just tell her I'm not listening to your voice now. Oh, it's too long.

[00:31:12]

Five minutes. Imagine speaking for five minutes without interruption. I think we should I think we should end the part on a high note.

[00:31:18]

We're not finished with the voice.

[00:31:19]

Next thing, like it's not the voice note that I find offensive. It's when two people are engaged in a conversation using voice notes.

[00:31:31]

So it's like if you sent me a voice note that says like, oh, hey, mate, how's your Friday afternoon looking? I'd love to get a call in at 3:00. And I'm in the middle of something that I can listen to that later, like a text message or a WhatsApp, and then I can get back to that person.

[00:31:45]

That's fine. Vogue, sit here and records voice it. Hey, so what are you up to later? Should we get get on this call, boom. Five seconds later. Yeah. A voice note comes in. Yeah. Three's not great. How about three thirty. Can we do that. Yeah. Boom goes back to work. Yeah. Three thirty. I think. I think they get the idea.

[00:32:07]

I know sometimes you don't want to commit to a call so your voice. So you're both actively alive. Voice noting each other but you don't want the line to just be open.

[00:32:17]

You want to, you want to have that additional layer of complexity in your otherwise always simple conversation. Listen, you don't like voice notes.

[00:32:25]

I do. Now, can we end the part on a high at the end of Series two, and I want to end it on a high because we're set up we're setting up for summer.

[00:32:37]

June 21st is the date that our world returns to normality. This weekend, I'm breaking out the powerhouse. Alexander's going to get his little torch out there. And he's got a powerhouse balcony where we're going to clean the barbecue. Yeah, this summer's here.

[00:32:53]

I can smell it. What does it smell like? It smells like fresh air. Okay, kid. Great fresh air.

[00:33:01]

I am looking forward to summer as well, although I have to say I enjoy locked down with you. I do too. But I'm also looking forward to going out and sitting like. I don't know, do you think.

[00:33:11]

But I'm going to the pub. Do you think when we get out of lockdown we can just have our own lockdown again?

[00:33:17]

We just spent a lot of time at home. I don't. But I think we should just say to people, listen, we're actually we're extending lockdown. Sorry, we're not coming around. We're still in lockdown. Yeah, but no, I want I want to have people over for barbecues.

[00:33:30]

Oh, we're going to have so much fun of the terrorists are going to be great.

[00:33:33]

People, as anyone know is nice. I like him. Can I come over. Sorry. My. See you later. OK. Looks like Spanish staying in lockdown, I'm coming out. I'm coming out. We want the world to know just to let it show. OK, it's time for Tear-jerker. We're going to take a subject and put items associated with that subject into tears, writing them either God tier, top tier, mid tier or shit tier, everyone else in last week.

[00:34:04]

This week is for restaurants and fast food places. Nando's. God, I love it so much. I'd say Top didn't even like it.

[00:34:14]

You put it in shit. You hate Mondays whenever I say I'm ordering and as you say, no, I don't hate Nando's.

[00:34:19]

I love the two sets of hot chicken of hot chicken thighs.

[00:34:24]

A double chicken wrap. You are a double chicken with hello my order. Delicious. OK, next on McDonald's mad shit to.

[00:34:33]

I wouldn't eat at McDonald's if it was dropped off free every day. I would no fifty Cheney.

[00:34:38]

God delicious. God I love that place.

[00:34:43]

Oh I get well you always laugh when they say Tobi's Toby Toby.

[00:34:47]

Yeah but ok. Well I've never had that. Uh can we change that made Toby.

[00:34:52]

Are you back to calling it. Ah if it's what I think it is it's going to be God for me. Kaveri is my favorite thing.

[00:34:59]

Yeah, it's fine. No it's not. Yeah it's all right. Fine. Oh yeah. I'll say God's not having this great having never tried out anything you can say God.

[00:35:08]

Well because it's a carvery and I love a carvery. Kaveri come in all different shapes and sizes got out of carvery.

[00:35:13]

OK, ok. Gregs, Gregs, mit, mit. Yeah. You get what you get in the tin.

[00:35:21]

Whatever that saying is, you get what it says on the tin.

[00:35:24]

KFC, I'm not that since KFC smeared MIT University I smashed KFC.

[00:35:32]

There was one at the end of our road. At least I love it. I used to get these sliders. The Stinger ones.

[00:35:38]

OK, we'll say it. Yeah. Midia Pizza Express. I do like Pizza Express Express. Good.

[00:35:43]

I like pizza top not Gardea. Yeah. Top the Ivy.

[00:35:47]

You like the Ivy more than top not got. Yeah. Top or maybe mej.

[00:35:52]

I talk my feet. What's wimpy. Wimpy. I've never heard that. What, what's wimpy wimpy burger. I never heard that. It's a northern thing. OK, well you'll have to judge that because I've never heard of it was a similar thing to McDonald's is now put it in shit.

[00:36:04]

I hate kind of. I like, I like there's a kind of there's a burger, there's burgers that I like that are fast food burger.

[00:36:12]

Yeah. Back and he says burger but what about that. Incredible.

[00:36:16]

What is it. Uh what is Shake Shack.

[00:36:20]

Yeah. Shakes. I actually God get those cheesy fries. Shake Shack.

[00:36:28]

Ya I'm going against squat 150 kilos and Shake Shack burger.

[00:36:32]

OK, last one prat I put in Pratten top. I like their sandwiches. They do the most exceptional porridge. I like their fruit pots. What you see is what you get top.

[00:36:44]

OK, couples cards. Who do you look up to the most, what in life, me, because I'm taller. Oh, you know, so, you know, that's bollocks.

[00:36:55]

So are stupid. Daily Mail article The Daily Mail outdid themselves every single time they write anything.

[00:37:01]

If I'm stood on the outside of the road like a gentleman, which my dad always taught me to do just in case a car comes in and wipes one of us out, it would be me and not you.

[00:37:11]

The pavement is tilted so that rainwater runs off the pavement, down the drain on the side of the road. So in Fotos, I will always appear shorter because I'm always there on the outside.

[00:37:23]

So fuck off. OK, well, who do you look up to the most, not you, because you're the same height as me.

[00:37:32]

I love my brother. I still look up to my my my other brother. I look up to all of my family.

[00:37:39]

I don't really I have I look up to lots of people, but not, you know, the main people I look up to in my family. Yeah. It's a fashion that means me too. And Irish say the image of fashion, Michelle fashion, Michelle fashion. I look up to my family the most as well.

[00:37:54]

Yeah. If you're angry or upset, you like to be comforted or left alone.

[00:38:00]

Left alone. Depends. It does depend it depends on simply is not something I would like you to comfort me, but I don't want sympathy of anyone else. I don't want any sympathy. I don't want any kind of like, oh, listen, everything's going to be OK from some friend or stranger. Like, just just leave me alone.

[00:38:17]

You different if you could master language you don't already know, what would it be? Oh, I'm ready still.

[00:38:22]

I'm still going with given that I speak French, Italian and English. Uh, I don't know Cantonese.

[00:38:30]

I can't wait to be British and French, but every time I do my French lessons on, I find myself getting better and better. And she taught me how to say, you're a wanker.

[00:38:39]

Go on on a Dambrot. Don Brauner. There you go again.

[00:38:46]

Is what a wanker to get at all.

[00:38:52]

I mean, Govanhill a wanker.

[00:38:54]

Uh, so, yes, Braunohler is the French word of the week. Wanker. Good words. No, thank you. I am. So I'm going to master French.

[00:39:03]

I'm getting better. You are getting better. Makes me happy. Very good. OK, what is your favorite thing you own. You know, you don't know me, but I do. Um. Do we own our kids? No. Yeah, we do know they own themselves. No, no, I don't know. Well, if I didn't own, I she'd be left for dead somewhere. So we are bringing them up. We don't own them.

[00:39:28]

We are. And now you own your laptop and your phone. Oh, our house.

[00:39:31]

I mean, if everything is the house where all of my watches the I like the house. Obviously anything that makes me money really are like any. Okay. Do you like roller coasters. I do like roller coasters. I like anything like that.

[00:39:42]

I want to go to Disneyland again and go in the Tower of Terror. I love a roller coaster. Love the territory. The war. Terror. Terror the what? Terror of terror. Okay, you said terror, terror, terror, terror. It's not a tongue twister. Terror of a terror attack.

[00:40:02]

OK, last time messages. Time for emails from our listeners. First up, it's Nicola. Nicola, I just been to your podcast while on my four mile run. You two are so funny and I love your gentle banter. A particularly laugh at loud Spencer's unexpected, posh, occasional F word.

[00:40:18]

Fuck just had to mention that the entire podcast was about food, was it? It's also so refreshing to hear to fit, healthy body conscious people have a proper relationship with food, body conscious.

[00:40:30]

And I'm although I'm sure you eat unhealthy food in moderation, it sounds like you do want to eat whatever you fancy.

[00:40:36]

Great motivation of understanding the streets with the main aim to enable me to do the very same thing.

[00:40:42]

My Pick of the week, I've been accepted into the marathon disabler. Oh yes. That was your pick of the week. I wanted to do this for ages.

[00:40:50]

And my business partner Dave and I are running the marathon disabler in October this year and I couldn't be more excited. It's eight marathons in seven days across the Sahara Desert, 55 degree heat. You carry everything from start to finish, about 20 kilos on your back. It's a bonding experience for the mentally strong. I can't wait. I'm going to get stuck in. I couldn't think of anything. I would like to do less.

[00:41:18]

I'm incredibly honored actually to get a place. It's incredible. I think it's going to be an incredible feat. I can't wait.

[00:41:23]

Did your brother do it? Yeah, he's done it. Yeah, James did it.

[00:41:26]

Yeah, he came top 100. Yeah. Oh, you've got to be James S.P.. Hard to beat James, the very front runner. He went on his own as well. So I'm seeing this is more of a kind of moment and bonding experience with my M.D. I don't think your mom's going to be happy.

[00:41:40]

I told her about last night. She's all right.

[00:41:42]

She knows I'm pretty remarkable. She knows. Yeah, sure. She'd love to come.

[00:41:46]

That's a great idea. Yeah, she she went to the finish line for James, to be fair. So she she's going to have to come for me. OK, that's Grant. I'll take it. We'll take your mom.

[00:41:54]

OK, last one is from John. Hi. Spencer en Vogue. I would like some advice or your suggestions please. I've been with my girlfriend for seven years now and I'm ready to pop the question.

[00:42:02]

She's already a few years ago, so she doesn't listen to the podcast. I just really don't know how to do it. I don't want anything cheesy. I just want to be special. But with covid restrictions, that's just that bit harder. Any ideas?

[00:42:13]

Wait until June 21st. I've got a good idea.

[00:42:16]

Why don't you organize a private viewing of the Lion King stage post show? Take her back there. Have Simba, Mafiosa Ngala and Skar hiding behind a pillar and then pop the question with the curtains drawn to an open auditorium with with pride rock behind you and then get them all to come out and sing a Wimberly OMON OMON.

[00:42:40]

Oh, I was expecting you to be my backup.

[00:42:47]

OK, well, the U.S. sleeps tonight. Goes that is it for the series.

[00:42:56]

We'll see if the series, but that's just in your show, but we'd still love to hear your thoughts and in your emails, dispenser and vote pod at Gmail dot com. And please subscribe to the podcast wherever you're listening and drop us. How many stars?

[00:43:10]

Jinkx jingoist.

[00:43:13]

Sacket Twala, a five stars, please. Thank you very much. Beento if you don't feel like giving us five stars and 30 minutes all because we want five, another five or nothing. Cheers. Love you. Bye bye.