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Welcome to, or welcome back to Sunday Sports Club podcast with Allison Cooch, a.

Podcast all about sports.

And sometimes we talk about things that aren't necessarily sports. They're more like sports adjacent. And today is one of those episodes. So today I'm sitting down with my sister Emily, and we're gonna be talking about her canceled wedding. Emily, welcome to Sunday Sports Club. How are you feeling?

Nervous? A little bit.

I'm like, any particular reason? Is it because the cameras? Is it because of light?

It's, like, really bright. There's a lot in your face.

Have you ever talked about the fact that you canceled your wedding the day of to a NFL player after a eight and a half year relationship?

I've talked it a little on my TikTok, and I was on a podcast when I was talking about Kaia and the role she played in the whole experience, but other than that, I haven't really talked about it in depth.

Kya is her dog, by the way. So you've really never dove into your relationship?

Nope. Not the relationship. Not like this event by event. Things that happened that led me up to it just kind of dabbled into it.

I mean, I got a front seat view to not only the entire relationship, but also I was the one having to make a few hard phone calls on wedding day. I don't think we've ever actually sat down and discussed everything, not even us together, have we? No.

I think everyone was kind of afraid to talk about it at first, and then I think enough time went on. People were like, we're just not gonna bring it up to her.

I thought that if I didn't talk about it, it would go away. I just didn't. I mean, it's a pretty triggering conversation.

And I feel like, for you, like, you had to watch your sister. Like, it was like a family.

Yeah.

I mean, you guys experience.

You guys started dating when I was, I think, like, a junior in high school. So he was really part of our family, because then I graduated college, and he was at my college graduate, like, all these momentous things. So, yeah, I didn't even know how to address the conversation in general either. And I. I mean, after you cancel your wedding, it's like you really can't get back. It's not like.

No, no. That's like a. There's no coming back from that, which.

We'Ll talk more about. Are you nervous for him to listen to this? Are you nervous that his family's gonna listen to this, like, what is your. What are your thoughts and feelings?

No, because I'm talking about my experience, and it's never my intention. I have not ever to this day, like, I won't ever drag somebody. Like, I think we all go through life journeys and I choices that we wish we could take back or wish never happened. So I'm not nervous for anybody to hear my experience, because, again, it's my experience. I had to live a very traumatic series of events, more or less. I'm hopeful that somebody going through a relationship that they aren't maybe sure they should be in any longer, or maybe they're coming out of a long term relationship and they just don't. I didn't have anybody to look up to, in a sense, so just having that kind of an impact on somebody is really important for me.

Yeah. So I guess that would be my next question is, after canceling your wedding day, of your wedding to a guy you had been with for so long, why do you want to tell your story?

Um, I think that. And there's a lot of things I had to learn after leaving that long of a relationship. Right. Because I think in any relationship, you kind of, like, morph into that person. You guys end up liking the same things, you like, doing the same things. And I didn't really know how to be my own person. We started dating really young, so I was like, God, who am I? Even by myself? And so sharing that maybe I can give light to somebody else going through similar or, like, maybe a turning point in their own life, whether it be a job or relationship.

How old were you guys when you started dating? And then how old were you when you guys broke up?

We met when I was 20, and we broke up when I was 30.

Wow.

Yeah.

Ten years. So we have ten years to cover in today's podcast. So let's get into it. I guess we have to rewind. Keep your arms and legs in the vehicle at all times. So I guess we have to rewind, go back in time all the way to Notre Dame.

They're irish.

My first question. Do you take credit for me and my husband meeting?

I knew this was gonna come up. Yes and no. I take credit for you being at Notre Dame, but I don't take credit for you meeting him. Cause you met him on your own.

Yeah. You weren't there.

No, we didn't go out.

So for the listeners, my now husband.

And your now ex, you were like, my husband?

I'm like, what do I call him? Oh, yeah. By his name, Isaac. So they went to Notre Dame together, and they played football on the same team. And so we were sisters dating.

We still are. Sisters football.

Thank you. We were sisters dating Notre Dame football players. And I think that sounds a little weird. So everybody probably assumed that you set us up or that we planned this.

And it was like, absolutely the opposite of my intentions was to ever, like, set you up with a teammate. Cause I feel like that's just weird. Like, oh, those two sisters are dating football players. And it's like, oh, I kind of.

Was cringe by myself.

Yeah, it's a little cringe. It happened very authentically, though. Like, you guys met on your own.

We met on our own. And your ex and Isaac were never close. Like, they were teammates. They knew each other, they got along. And especially after we started dating, we all.

Now we're on a family vacation.

Now we're gangsling a wedding. No, but it's so funny because everybody. Well, whenever I talk about the fact that me and Isaac met at Notre Dame, everyone's like, why were you at Notre Dame? And I have to say, oh, my sister's friend crisis. Because I don't want to get into the whole fact that, oh, my sister's ex fiance. And I'm like, wait, what?

It's like peeling back a lot. So many layers, ripping off the wallpaper.

My life is a fucking onion.

It's like, wait, hold up. I'm gonna need you to back up.

So briefly, how did you meet your ex?

How brief do you want me to be? You want me to give you, like, one word?

No, you don't have to give me.

Like, a sentence, Tinder.

But that's a complete fucking sentence.

Yeah, complete sentence. One word sentence. Yeah.

I think people are like, okay, I get it.

It happened. It was like when Tinder first came out, too, so I was kind of weirded out by it. And that's like when the word catfishing was like a new term. So it kind of long story short, there was a party at Michigan State, and he ended up being there. So people had met him in my friend group, but I didn't physically meet him myself that day.

And then you guys just fell in love?

Yeah, pretty much.

Was it a quick, like, enter into the relationship? Was it a slow, like, we're friends and now we're, like, hanging out more and then hanging out? But you went to Michigan State. He went to Notre Dame, which is a two and a half hour drive. So did that quicken things up, like, describe the beginning of your relationship?

Yeah, so I.

It was from the outside looking in, you were single. And then the next thing I know, he's sitting down at our dinner table for Easter. Brunch.

Yeah. Actually, though, like, dinner table, I guess.

I could say brunch table.

We have a counter, I guess. I think. No, it was, like, pretty fast. Like, I will say, the first I met, we, like, matched on Tinder, like, early February of 2013, and then February or, like, Valentine's Day weekend, I ended up going to Notre Dame, and I was only supposed to stay one night. I mean, my friend went, and then he, like, convinced me to stay another night. Like, the first day I got there, like, afternoon, like, 04:00. And then the next day, he took me to the grotto, the cathedral, the church. He, like, showed me the whole campus. And, like, I just, like, kept going on and on and on. I'm like, okay. It's, like, getting dark outside.

Like, I have a two and a half.

Cause I just don't think you should drive back tonight. You should drive tomorrow. I'm like, okay. So, yeah, it was, like, pretty quick. When we met, I just, like, had, like, this instant connection to him. I just, like, I knew him.

What was, like, super appealing about the relationship early on, were you guys, like, super close? Did you feel like you could be yourself? Like, was he romantic?

Like, the first weekend I was, we went to Notre Dame, I kind of. We, like, had a few cocktails, and I kind of got a little, like. I don't know. I was just, like, felt like it shameful, you know? Like, when you wake up, you're like, oh, like, I'm so cringe. And I was, like, hanging. Yeah. He just, like, made me feel safe, honestly. Like, he just made me so comfortable being myself. And, like, very early on in the relationship, I just felt like we liked similar things. We enjoyed doing similar things. We kind of got each other on, like, a soul level. That sounds so cringe, but, like, I really feel like he knew me in another life, if you believe in that stuff.

Yeah, I feel like you guys. I mean, like I mentioned, it was pretty quick from my perspective, seeing you enter this relationship. And when he came over for Easter, I was like, oh, wow. Emily's just acting. Emily, like, you're acting your goofy ass self. Just, like, hanging out. Like, he's hanging out with our family. We're all like, I remember playing monopoly, and, oh, my God. Different sides of you come out when you're playing monopoly.

I was heated, but I just feel.

Like, from the outside looking in, like, you were in a very authentic relationship. Now, he played football for Notre Dame.

Yep.

Did you know he was going to be an NFL player when you started dating him?

No. He definitely talked about, like, that was his goal, and his, like, teammates would, like, you know, hype him up. Like, yeah, he's actually, like, really good. And I'm like, okay, cool. He was a freshman. We first started dating. Sure. I'm like, I didn't. He had never played a full season, and so I never. I didn't get to see that side of him until I went to the spring game, like, two months into us dating, and so six months into us dating was, like, his first season that he was playing, so I knew him, like, in the off season, which was really nice.

Mm hmm. And so do you think you got to see a different side to him?

Yeah, I got a different side. Isn't, like, like, football wasn't his identity really. I mean, yeah, it was. But in the off season, you know, they're, like, doing other things. Like, we went to his hometown three months after we met, like, flew across the country. And so I got to see him, like, in his environment, with his hometown friends, with his family. I met his family really early on, and so I got to see the authentic who he is as a person. And then when football season came, I had already known so much about him. Then I was like, oh, wow, you are pretty good.

You're like, wait, you're actually playing a lot.

Yeah, I forgot you play football.

And so he ended up getting drafted to the NFL and went on to play in the NFL. You ended up moving out, you ended up moving in with him, and you guys didn't get engaged for how long? From a time you started dating until you got engaged, how many years?

So you started dating in 2013, got engaged, 2021. So what's that? Eight years?

Eight years?

Yeah, eight and a half years, I think, actually.

Why do you think you didn't get engaged for so long?

There was a lot of things that happened. I think we started dating really young, and I think with that, you guys.

Were how old when you met?

He was 18. I was 20. And so I think with that comes, like, we had to, like, grow as individuals, but we also were simultaneously growing together. And so I think when you. NFL is a big, big business. Yeah, a lot that comes with the NFL. And he almost declared early on in his junior year. So there's a lot of different moving parts, but a lot of not so many truths being told. A lot of things that I found out that kind of put us in this, like, the roller coaster of a relationship.

You guys know where I frequented extremely often throughout college?

Applebee's. You guys.

I knew the workers by name. Or I guess they knew me by name. They knew what I got every single.

Time I switched it up.

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Why would that be the reason?

I'm 29 years old.

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So from the time he got drafted to the NFL, to him proposing, you would say there were a lot of ups and downs.

A lot of ups and downs. A lot of ups and downs.

What did that look like?

Not being faithful was a big one of them. Not being truthful. A lot of things, like, I had gut feelings about, and then I would ask, and then I wouldn't learn it until later on, like, the actual truth of what was going on. So for that, it was a big part of why we didn't. I mean, I definitely wanted to get engaged, like, young. I don't know why, but I do.

You think because a lot of people might say because he was in the NFL, you were just following after him, you wanted to get engaged because with getting engaged to a professional athlete comes more money and financial security. Did you have your own source of income outside of him?

Yeah, so I worked, actually, the entire time we were together up until he got injured, and then it kind of changed things. But I had always had my own job. I finished Michigan State with two degrees of shout out. Go Green, go.

Wait.

Yeah, so, yeah, I have my, you know, went to college, kind of pursued my path of, I wanted to be a physical therapist and then fell into the fitness industry and just, like, fell in love with being a fitness instructor. And then I worked at Lululemon for quite, quite some time just because I knew that he was, you know, as college went on, I knew he was going to the NFL. With Lululemon, you get put into contact with a lot of people in the fitness community. So I thought it was like, a really good opportunity for me to kind of figure out where I fit in with my own career, but also have something that, like, no matter where he went, pretty much every NFL team has a Lululemon pretty close nearby.

I think every NFL team has a lululemonier.

Yeah. I think, like, the only one was like, green Bay. And I was like, okay, like, one out of 32. Like, that's my odds are looking good here. Yeah.

So do you think you having a job because he got drafted pretty high and his second contract was over a hundred million dollar contract. Do you think that you had a job for financial reasons? Do you think you had a job because it kept you more independent? Or do you think it was just to have an identity outside of the NFL and football and him?

Yeah. So it was a combination of three. I never wanted to fully rely on somebody. We weren't married. And I'm, you know, no, dummy, I don't want to put all my eggs in one basket. Right. I always wanted to have a career of my own. And I loved, I love, still love what I do. And so I always wanted to have that, like, piece of me. When he first got drafted, one of the other wives, like, pulled me aside. We went to dinner and was like, just let me give you this one piece of information. If you never take any advice from anybody ever again, this is what I want you to remember. These people, these women, these teammates, players, they are not your family, they are not your friends. And don't think that they are. Ever, always have something outside of yourself.

A little hard.

I was like, okay, all right. I don't know you. I'm like, I'm scared now. But I did take it at first. I was like, oh, she kind. Kind of like, no, like, that's not right. But then I like, really. I really tried to make friends outside the NFL, in the community. We were in different people, different walks of life.

Would you give that same advice to any other girlfriend or wife of a professional athlete?

I think I would give that advice to anybody that has a professional as a partner. No, like, you know, a lot of people have to move for their significant others. And I think it's really important to have a community and identity of your own. You can share that with your partner. But I think even now, a big part of who I am, I enjoy my alone time and my individual friends, and I think that's really important in any relationship.

So you mentioned that he was unfaithful to you throughout your relationship, or at least at one part. How did that make you feel? Like, do you think that you were able to lean on your friends or family? Did you kind of keep quiet about it? Did you end up leaving him?

Yeah. So you were. You're three years younger than me, so you were in college still. And I think a lot of the infidelity that I have found out, I kind of leaned on a lot of friends. I felt, as a bigger sister, I'm not calling my siblings and being like, you know, this happened. This happened.

I didn't know that he was unfaithful to you until you moved in with me.

Yeah, yeah, correct.

I was like, why are you here?

Yeah, I think that was my breaking point, too, is because we had been living together in this city, and I just couldn't get over some of the things I had learned, and I needed to do something for myself. I'm like, is it now or never? I kind of think, like, when I moved, I was like, oh, we're not gonna break up. But then we ended up not talking for, like, two or three weeks, and then I stayed. I moved out and moved in with you.

I was like, wait, what's going on?

Like, hey, you're like, wait, why are you here? What's going on?

Yeah, so when you moved in with me, I mean, you had this NFL boyfriend who I would say, for the most part, really took care of you. Like, you had a nice house, you. I mean, you paid for your own car. But, like, aside from that, like, I thought you were in a very stable, solid relationship, aside from, like, a few things here and there, where as your little sister, I just feel like any other little sister would be like, man, well, yeah, he's not perfect. Like, anybody. For you, I would say, is not perfect. But when you moved in with me, I was like, oh, fuck.

Yeah, it was tough. It was tough, too, because I think that if I kind of how, like, you didn't want to talk about the wedding. Cause then you think it would go away. And I think there was, like, so many, like, a bad thing would happen, and then he would, like, make up for it tenfold. Like, he would just do, like, the most grandiose gestures. I remember, like, after the first NFL season, he surprised me. Like, took me through the airport, didn't tell me we were going, packed a bag and went to this elaborate vacation, and it was, like, the sweetest thing. And then he went off and trained for a month in the off season, and then some things happened, and it's like, I almost was like, I don't understand how you can do, like, all these nice things and then go do that, and, you know, it hurts me so much. So I didn't really want to talk about it. I had some friends in Baltimore, actually, that I became friends with through work, and I kind of leaned on them because I'm going to work every day, and I'm like, they can see what something's wrong.

I'm just kind of checked out.

Um, but, yeah, because, I mean, there's not a huge world of football players or even professional athletes. Did you feel isolated in that situation? Like, did you. Were you nervous to reach out to your coworkers or, like, friends that weren't a part of this bigger NFL world and, like, open up to them? Because I feel like on the outside, things might look perfect. It's like, oh, my God. Yeah, you're in this happy relationship with this guy, and he's playing football, and you're in the city. How did that make you feel?

Well, when I moved to that city and I kind of left Michigan for the first time, a lot of people were kind of preying on that downfall. Like, oh, he's an athlete. He's going to cheat on you. You shouldn't move until you get engaged. And to me, forcing somebody to propose for me to move with them sounds like ultimatum. Ultimatum, yeah, it was very ultimatumy. And not that I didn't ever, like, bring it up to him, I definitely did. And there was a lot of. I would say I push it a lot. I will be honest.

But outside of the NFL, how many relationships are the girl or woman saying, I want to be engaged, and the guy is like, oh, not yet.

Yeah, like, everywhere.

I just think when people. When you hear of somebody in a relationship with a professional athlete, it's like, oh, you just want us money? It's like. Or you just want a sense of security.

When I think people like Ty, NFL cheater, and that's, like, not even remotely the case.

I mean, in the news, you see all these articles, you see relationships ending, divorces, Tom Brady and Giselle, Tiana and Cody. Do you think all professional athletes are cheaters?

No, absolutely not. I think anybody in any profession has the capability of stepping out on their partner. I think that a lot of things in the NFL lead to that or any type of professional sport, but that's also, like, any type of celebrity, access to money, fame. I think that just kind of throws you in a different position where it almost makes it easier and more accessible.

And I would say almost on the other side, like, speaking to the person who's being cheated on. Professional sports is a. Is a really interesting world where you have to make a lot of sacrifices for your partner. So then if your partner goes off and cheats, it's like, you could have had to give. Gave up your job, your sense of family and community. Like, how many places have I lived that I don't have friends or family? I know nobody. Imagine my husband goes off and cheats on me. What am I left to do?

Yeah, well, and, like, in your situation, you moved a lot. We didn't move a lot, so I was. I had one person specifically who. We had a. We had a tight bond, and I could talk to her about a lot of things, but also, she didn't have to deal with infidelity, so there was always, like, a guilt and shame around me.

So in the NFL world, like, yeah.

I couldn't talk to her about that. And not that she didn't make it ever comfortable. I never spoke about it until I was about to move. And, like, oh, my God, like, I want to cry now. I think telling her that, she was just like, you were going through all this stuff. Why didn't you ever speak about it? To me? We're with each other all the time, and I think in the NFL, one of the more toxic parts is actually the female side of it. My ex, as you know, went pretty high up in the draft, and I think when you talk about practice squad and people who didn't get drafted or undrafted or later rounds, there is, at least for me, in my experience, I felt like because he went so high, people were a lot nicer to me, kinder to me, and just the. The banter and conversations about women who are girlfriends, women who are married, you know, talking about what everybody's significant other is doing in their bedroom. To me, it was like, well, I'm not telling any of these people, even the ones I think I can trust, I have shame.

Do you think people are praying and I. The downfall?

Yeah, 100%. I think it's a lot of projection in some cases, and then some, I think it's just maybe they have, you know, if somebody sees a girl who's got a job and a career and is, like, doing things independently, or maybe she doesn't move, you know? Cause that happens. Yeah, I moved out, and I was flying back and forth in games, and there was so much talk about that. I think it's like, projection and also, you know, a little bit of, like, an insecurity, maybe just seeing other people do something you maybe want to.

Yeah, you guys, they had the audacity.

To put a shake shack right by my house, which is great, because now.

I don't have to pay for delivery.

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It's like, what?

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Isaac got drafted in the 7th round, so. And then he was on practice squad, and he's been cut a few times. It is so interesting because you see people at the top level and people at the bottom level, and it's like they're all still kind of going through the same thing. Everybody is. There's different struggles. Like, you're not worrying about if he's playing in the game on Sunday, but.

Right. That was also, like, me sitting in, like, I never sat. And with his position, group, significant others, not because I didn't feel comfortable sitting by them. I'm just like. I don't have that feeling. Like he's playing.

Yeah.

So I never wanted to be, like, sitting with that. I just. What do you say? You know, I always just. I am not gonna say anything that's gonna make you feel better, like, at all.

So after he was unfaithful to you, why did you feel comfortable getting back with him and moving back in with him?

A lot of things happened. So I moved out in 2018, and when I moved out, I don't think either one of us really thought I was going to, like, I legitimately. He was like, oh, are you coming back? And I'm like, wait. I just. I just moved everything out. Like, what?

Wasn't he in denial?

Yeah. Like, he was like, oh, you want me to help you pack? And I was like, that. I'm sorry. You want to help me back?

You're like, this hurts.

I was like, okay. I'm, like, at the two dogs, like, hysterically crying. But then I, like, did it. I wrote him a whole note. We didn't talk for, like, two weeks. I think he really didn't think I was just gonna, like, leave that day. He was at practice. I like, peace out. It's like, I'm out. I just couldn't get over it, you know? It was, like, six months since I found out some things, and I was just like, is this the first time? I'm like, and I don't want to make this a habit of me just, like, giving in. So I'm gonna make a stand, and I'm gonna take a stand for myself. I'm gonna leave.

Which so many women don't. Can't do. They're either not strong enough, not financially able to. They don't have a support system. I mean, how many women or men are in relationships where they can't leave after learning information because of their financial status, their support team, they don't feel like they can. They don't have a sense of independence.

I mean, first things first. I am extremely privileged to have the family that I have. You, our parents, our aunts. Like, they're the best. Our fairy godmothers, literally. So I was in a very, extremely privileged situation. Immediately call, like, I had the most amazing job. Working for Lululemon is probably one of the best decisions I ever make. So having that stability and foundation made that decision a lot easier. It was still impossible. I don't even think I was gonna do it.

Yeah. So then you move back?

Yeah, I moved back November of 2021.

And you felt when you moved back.

In November of 2020, when you guys.

Got back together after he had been unfaithful, after you had moved out, why did you feel like this was gonna.

Be different when I moved out, he. That first offseason? Cause I left at the end of the season. Like, what a bitch. Actually, though, I was, like, near Christmas, like, two weeks before Christmas, I was like, all right, I'm out, actually. Cause I can't handle this anymore. And then that offseason, he made such an effort to make it work, and I think we really needed the space, and I think that we both grew, but we also really loved each other, and I think being away from each other was really hard. He came out to California. A lot of times I would go back and forth to see him, and then we ended up, when I was living in California, we ended up adopting a third dog because he kept the two with him, so we ended up getting a third. But the effort he was making to make it work was a lot.

So you thought he had changed?

I don't necessarily think he had changed, but I thought that he was remorseful for the things that he did to me. And I think that he, as a person, was growing and evolving through this experience. I also was too. Like, I realized that I will never point all the fingers at one person. I think there was a lot of me, like, I want to get married. I want to get married. It's like, why were you. Why?

Yeah.

And then when I was in California, there was a lot more, like, honest and serious conversations we could have about, like, life in general and marriage, getting engaged, moving back in.

And it seemed like you guys were both on the same page.

Yeah, 100%. He would, like, come out and surprise me.

I mean, from my perspective, I thought that I was like, wow. I was like, they seem really happy. They seem like they're in a really good place, because I do. I personally believe in second chances. And at that point, you guys have been together for how many years? I mean, yes. Or seven.

Yeah. Well, 20. I moved out 2018, so, like, 2019. I was like, what? I can't do math? Five. Six years.

Six years?

Yeah. Six years in our relationship. You know, we're, like, mid twenties. I was, like, 26 at this point. That's a lot of formative things happening for us. And in our twenties, he's got a huge career, and that was, like, his dream. Like, I never. I knew that, and I always, for me, was like, I'm gonna put my career on hold because this has to happen at this time in his life. My career can happen anytime. And so I think with that, there's just a lot of learnings, a lot of, like, expectations you had placed on yourself that aren't where you thought they.

Would be throughout your relationship, all the way up until you got engaged, being in a relationship with a professional athlete, some may ask their partner to quit their job because it's a lot of moving, it's a lot of uncertainty. Not so much for his career, but did he ever ask you to give up your career or your source of income or independence?

He never explicitly would be like, I want you to quit your job. But there was always the expectation of, like, wherever I was working, whatever I was doing, that I'd be able to get up and leave. Like, there was times, like, we had to go to certain places for his career, and, like, we're talking about the off season, and it would be like, oh, we're leaving tomorrow. Can, like, pack your bags type thing. And I'm like, I work. Yeah. So I actually have a job. It's actually crazy. Yeah.

Like, my off season doesn't allow in line with your off season. Cause I don't have an off season.

I don't have an off season. Like, it's every day. But I was really, really fortunate enough to have, like, flexible bosses and people I worked for that, like, allowed me that. To do that. He didn't explicitly be like, you need to quit your job. But when he got injured again, my boss was super lenient. She let me leave for three months. When he got injured.

Wow.

Yeah. It was also during COVID too. So it was November 2020, in and out of the studio. I'm a Pilates instructor at this point. My boss was like, you know, it's Covid. Everything's kind of all over the place. It was like, what, round three? At this point, who knows? She gave me the opportunity to leave for three months, and then at that point, I had a conversation with him, like, I have to either go back to my job or I'm staying here. And he was like, stay here.

And so that was kind of the first time. I mean, six years in, that's the first time where you're like, okay, I'm choosing my relationship first, and then I'll work again.

Yeah. There was a lot of uncertainty with. I mean, he signed a contract and then got pretty badly injured. Watching that, for me, was really tough. And, like, I always had this, like, I want to be independent. I want to have my own thing. I want to never have to rely on somebody. He offered to pay for things, and I straight up wouldn't let him because I didn't want. I didn't want to feel owed. I had to owe him something. There's that narrative, right? Like, oh, your husband's in the or your boyfriend's in the NFL, he probably pays for everything.

It's kind of like 1ft in, 1ft out.

Yeah.

Do you think you were ever 100%.

In when he was injured? And, like, I saw how that affected him. I was like, I'll literally drop anything for this person, man. I was like, I just can't. I can't. Yeah, my job is great. I love it. I love having a sense of independence, but I'm like, this person really needs me. They're going through a lot, and when.

You love somebody, you want to do everything you possibly can.

I wanted to fix anything I could for this person because it was never about the money for him. He, like, truly, truly, truly loves football, and to watch somebody have that be taken away from them, and you don't any injury, you never know if somebody's gonna be able to go back. So watching that as a partner was so hard. And I'm like, I don't even care if you're your wife or not. I don't even care if we ever get married. They're like, you. You need help. The dogs aren't gonna take themselves out.

But you guys did end up getting engaged.

We did.

So he proposed. And I have to say, as your sister, it makes me so sad, because it truly was, like, the most emily style proposal I could have ever put, ever formulated, ever. So he proposed at a winery. He doesn't drink.

He does not drink. I had to. His manager, you, big wine fan. Huge, huge wine fan. Big fan. And his manager, I basically walked my way into my own proposal. She was like, you need to go to this winery. Like, he's not gonna go, but it's, like, a good partnership for, like, us. And, like, you just gotta get him there. I'm like, okay, twist my arm. Like, I'll go to a winery. And, like, he was, like, tasting the. That was the one thing that was weird to me. He was, like, actually actively, like, tasting the wines. And, like, I'm talking, like, a lot of different flavors, and I'm like, I know what's gonna happen. We're not gonna feel so great.

Yeah.

But I was like, I just remember.

You calling me the next day, and.

You'Re like, look, I have, like, a fried chicken in my mouth. A donut. On the other hand, I'm, like, trying to, like, quell anything in my stomach.

So when he proposed after eight and a half years, I mean, how did you feel? Would you feel on top of the world, like, jesus fucking Christ, finally?

Yeah. Well, and he never asked finally.

Not because of the money, you guys. Finally because after a eight and a half year relationship. Jesus Christ. I just hear the people like, of.

Course she was excited. She waited. Well, and that offseason, like, a couple of months prior to us getting engaged, you had got married. And I think being at your wedding, just that whole offseason, from the time you got injured until we got engaged, like, the efforts and the dedication, he was like, I've never felt more happy with him. And I felt like I was finally easing up in the sense of, I quit my job, not because he was gonna pay for everything, but because I was fully giving myself. I was fully giving myself to this person with, like, not a care in the world of what was gonna happen.

In your defense, there were a few different houses and a few different locations. You can't necessarily maintain an active career in one place when you're moving three times a year.

Yeah, well, and then, like, as soon as the season ended, we had to go someplace so that he could, like, rehab. And then it was, like, back and.

Forth in one place.

This house is in another place, doctors, and another place. Like, it was just like, I feel like a ping pong ball just getting, like, ding, ding, ding. Okay, where's she going next?

And so you thought then when he proposed, you felt stable in relationships enough to maybe put your independence aside for a second?

Yeah. When we got engaged, I had actually just, like, recently got accepted to veterinary nursing school at Purdue. I've always wanted to be a vet, and I was like, this is all online. I can do it anywhere, and I can still pursue all the things I want. I was making what I wanted to do work, but I wasn't actively doing it at the time, if that makes sense. So it was like I never stopped doing the things I love, but just in a very much more laid back, non committal thing. And so, yeah, it's just, I've never felt in that moment, it was like, the amount of love I felt from this person was enormous and grateful. Like, I think that him, with all the things we had been through, like, all the things we had been through getting engaged, it was just like, we were, like, as my person, I just.

Know that when he had proposed, you felt, like, an immense amount of love from him, immense amount of support. Like, I really feel like, from my perspective as your younger sister, I was like, oh, my God, finally, like, you're getting your, like, fairy tale. Like, you guys have been through so many ups and downs, but so many relationships go through them and, like, throw a lot of a fuck ton of money into the mix and just the NFL. But, like, also huge life changes and. And your twenties, you have no idea who you are, so you're just constantly finding. Well, yeah, well, we're gonna get to that. So you get engaged, and you're the happiest you've ever been.

Happiest? Like what, love?

What happened from a time you got engaged to your wedding day that made you cancel your wedding? The day of.

A lot of things? He ended up getting re injured. And I think with that came, like, a huge. I think on both of us, for sure, morally. Him, obviously, he's the player. Right. But just me having to watch this person do this. Right? And I'm like. Like, I just want to fix it. You can't fix anything. And then that off season, we went back to California, and things were good, but we just were, like, kind of arguing a lot. I think there was, like, an uncertainty of, like, kind of everything. And so I think that played a big toll. There was a lot of moving pieces that we had gone through. Not infidelity, to my knowledge, but just, like, we were arguing about, like, kind of dumb things. Leading up to our wedding, we had gotten a house, and we were, like, decorating it. It was really the week before we left for our bachelor parties. I felt pretty good about everything, and we had lived in multiple houses, and I never really got to decorate anything. I know it sounds absolutely insane to other people probably, but I didn't really get a choice on anything in this house that we got.

I was like, we were picking everything out together. I just remember being like, oh, my God, we're, like, really good.

Well, I feel like throughout the beginning of your years of your relationship, I feel like you fit into his lifestyle, and this was the first time that I saw you being a part of his lifestyle, if that makes sense.

Like, totally.

You guys were a team.

Totally.

Whereas in previously, you just kind of fit into the mix.

Yeah.

Now I can hear people in the comments already in the back of my head, like, haters being like, how would. How would a professional athlete's injury be hard on his significant other? Like, you're being soft. Like, how. How did that affect you watching somebody? And why do you think that could affect you?

Yeah, I think. Well, I think I remember we were sitting on the couch, like, just hanging out, watching Netflix like we do, and I just, like, could see it on his face, and I was like, are you depressed? And he was like, yeah. And, like, in that moment, I was like, fuck. Like, is he gonna be okay. And that. That, to me, is, like, when you love somebody, you wanna take away all their pain, like, all their struggles. Obviously, I'm a lot bigger than me, and he's a lot more financially well off, but, like, emotionally, I can get us. And that was, like, the first time I felt, like, emotionally, I couldn't get us. Like, the arguments were argumenting, and I don't even think they had to do with anything, really. Like, every couple bicker about stupid things, and then we'd be like, okay, let's go get food. Okay.

You're like, okay. Yeah.

So having to so much uncertainty about somebody's professional life and, like, a dream and career that they've always had and an identity. And that's an identity.

So many people forget that these football players play football from the age of, like, six or seven all the way up till they're 30, and then one day they just stop playing, and that's your entire identity.

Well, that's, like, the statistics, right? Like, they ended up going, you know, most people go through a contract and then, like, they'll get another one or they'll have, like, a significant injury, and then it's like, boom, they're done. And I'm like, God, is he a statistic? Like, this is gonna break my heart. And it was because he truly loved it. Like, he loves the sport.

And so, okay, so things were great when he proposed. Things are, like, dwindling a little bit, but you're still in a good place. Bachelor and bachelorette parties happen, and then somehow we're at your rehearsal dinner, and you're visibly upset, and some things are said. So can you take us back to that night? Yeah, I'm like, just take us back to that night. Acting like it's not a huge deal.

Yeah, we had some disagreements about some things leading up.

Can you talk about anything in particular?

Yeah, I know. Cause everyone's gonna be like, oh, she didn't want to sign a prenup. No, I wanted a prenup. Football, you know, brain health is always top of mind as a partner. Prenup, you can solve that before you get married to make sure that your person set up after something happens. You got. God forbid.

And prenups can make so everyone's aware they work in both people's favor.

It is literally a prenuptial agreement where you can agree on things before you ever have to go through the divorce phase. Somebody passes away. Like, agreements, literally.

Yeah.

There were some things that we could not come to an agreement on, and I know, everyone's probably like, oh, of course she couldn't come to an agreement. I was not disagreeing with crazy things. They didn't want to change anything. And to me, looks back at the relationship, I'm like, I've given up so much of myself, and somebody's not even as concerned for me going into the future if something happens to them, God forbid. So that, to me, was, like, a lot of stress. But at the end of the day, I was like, I would just be with this person forever. I don't even care about legally getting married, to be honest. At that point, I was like, you know, I'd rather have a wedding with our friends and family. That's what I want to celebrate, you know?

Right.

So the week leading up to the.

Wedding, so you were planning on walking down the aisle, saying your vows, saying, I do, but never legally getting married. That was the plan.

In my head, that was. I was like, I don't need to sign a paper to know that this person could be my husband, the father of my kids. It was more so saying vows in front of our friends and family, that was like, that's a commitment to me, right? You're going out here and saying in front of all these people that we love and who love us so much that you're gonna be committed to being x, y, and z ways.

So you were willing to give up the piece of paper.

Yeah, I don't even care. I'm like, I don't even care to be legally married. Whatever. We can tell everybody we got legal married. Nobody even has to know.

A few days prior to us flying up to Hawaii, because you were getting married in Hawaii, we went out to dinner, you, me, and Isaac, who's my husband, by the way. If you guys are new here, you guys are new here. And we sat down and you opened up and told me that you were not going to be getting legally married, and you were just going to be doing the ceremony and reception basically act. I mean, that's what me and Isaac technically did. But Isaac and I were married before we even had our wedding.

Right.

So you're gonna do the opposite, but never actually get married.

Yeah.

I mean, when I learned that as your sister, I was like, why? Because in my head, I was like, why is she giving up such. Our parents are still married. I mean, so we might be a little naive to the concept of marriage, but from my perspective, I was like, you've always wanted to get married. You've always wanted your fairy tale to, like, have your, like, picture perfect family. I mean, you know, within reason.

Nobody's picture perfect.

But, like, you wanted. You wanted.

I wanted a family.

You wanted a husband. You wanted. I'm not even a husband. You wanted to be married to the person that you were in love with and have a family and live, you know, happily ever after, whatever that fucking means in current time. Yeah, literally, whatever that means. But when you told me you weren't getting legally married, I was like, the. I went into the little sister mode. I was like, the fuck?

Yeah.

I was like, why?

And I didn't really tell everybody, like, the legalities that we were all going through. I had a lawyer in three different states. I had one lawyer from back home, and I had lawyers in two other states all looking at this document. And I had not talked to mom or dad about it. I hadn't talked to her brother about it. I literally just didn't tell anybody. Cause I'm like. I'm talking to lawyers. Like, obviously the lawyers. And they were just like, no, they tried. They tried. That's all I'll say about that. I had to tell you guys. Cause we're all going to Hawaii, and I'm like, I'm not really. I'm kind of upset. I'm keeping this, and I need to let it out.

So was that the only thing that was, like, heading into your wedding week? Wedding week? Like, weddings these days. Was that the only thing that you were unsure of heading into the wedding?

There was a lot of arguments about that.

About the prenup.

Yeah. So.

But why would there be. Why were there arguments if you had decided to just not legally get married?

Because he didn't want to do that. So he wanted you.

He wanted to get legally married.

Yeah.

So he wanted you to sign this prenup. He wanted to be legally married, and he was. Hmm.

And then from the time we had our bachelor parties, he then had a second bachelor party. And to me, that was alarming. Cause not only did you not tell me about it, I'm packing your bags for you to go onto it.

Not knowing.

Not knowing who's throwing this, who's gonna be there. I'm like, you just had a bachelor party. I'm confused.

So when did you learn he was having a second bachelor party?

We were already in Hawaii. It was, like, a month before our wedding, and I was there with the dogs, and he was, like, gonna go back to where he needed to go for, like, training or whatever. And he kind of, like, in passing, I was like, oh, he never. He's not a flashy person. There was, like, a chain, and he was packing his chain. I was like, oh, why are you packing this chain? And he was like, so and so is having a party. And I was like, I'm dumb. Naive. Me, stupid. I I'm over here, like, oh, this person's having this party at their house. I'm like, why do you need a chain?

It's crazier that you asked about the fucking chain.

Yeah, well, I'm packing the bag, and he's tossing me chains. I'm like, that's just not him. It's just not right. So now I'm curious. Where is this chain going? Not only did you not tell me about it, you're going to a whole other country and not telling me. He's. I told you think I'm passing. And I was like, what are you talking about?

You're like, I would not forget.

I'm like, I would not forget that you're going to this place.

Hmm.

Yeah.

So why did you not just sign the prenup?

I kind of looked at a lot of things. I looked at our parents relationship. I looked at you and Isaac's marriage and relationship. And I would rather, in that moment, it was. I'd rather walk away from something knowing that I chose myself than to spend the rest of my life not being loved the way that I love somebody.

There are going to be people online that say, you didn't get married.

She's a gold digger.

Because he wanted you to sign a prenup.

Correct.

In fact, that's what people from his side have said.

Yep. Dragged me.

And what would you say to that?

I would say that when you sign a prenup, you can't talk about kids. And there was things in there that. So you can't legally put things about kids. Cause, like, the kids don't exist yet. Right? So, like, you have to, like, talk, like, very vaguely if we were to have children. And these thoughts come back up into my mind, right? Like, yeah, he hasn't cheated on me in a really long time, but also, he has before. What if he got somebody pregnant? What if he decided one day, he woke up one day and he didn't want to be with me anymore? And I have five kids. I am now controlled by somebody because of a document we could have amended and given me that ease and comfort, knowing that if I were to ever be the mother of your children, when I would be the mother of your children, that, like, it would be okay. We could be amicable. We couldn't even be amicable. As just us two in this moment. So there's a lot of thoughts that ran through my mind.

And I mean, this conversation, because I hear even the way it's being perceived, it might seem like the only reason you didn't marry him was because of a prenup.

Oh, yeah. No, absolutely not.

So there was more than just the prenup as to why you didn't get married?

Yeah, just, I mean, the 30 days leading up to it, honestly, the two bachelor parties.

One you not knowing about.

One me not knowing about, and also the behavior that I received when we were at ours at the same time when I was on mine, I think looking back at you and how you were at your bachelorette party, Isaac called you every day, facetimed you. He was so excited. And there was, like, a mistrust for me. And I'm like, I'm with your sister. I'm with my sister. I'm at an Airbnb in Scottsdale. I'm like, what? There was a lot of, like, throwing around of. I just. Why do you want to do this? Why do you want to stay there an extra day? And I'm like, to help my sister clean. Like, your sister's not flying out to tomorrow. Like, just hanging out with the girls by the pool. We were literally making friendship bracelets by the pool.

Fucking.

Actually, like, actually, I could not. We had a. What was that? Bottle. The bottle of champagne booth. No, it was the.

Is that how you say it?

Yeah.

Is she even an NFL wife?

Does she even know? Champagne?

Yeah.

No, I just. There was a. To me, felt like something else was going on on his end because there was a lot of mistrust and, like, anger towards me for. I don't know why.

There's a lot of weird things that happened on the bachelor trip which can't be denied because there are facts. And the fact is that our brother and Isaac was there, so there was some interesting.

Yeah. He was convinced that our brother was a spy for him, which he didn't even want to go, so Jack didn't want to go.

Okay, we're getting a little too into things now.

I don't know what you want me.

To say to that. Anyways, cut.

Snip by.

So the day before you cancel your wedding, you're at your rehearsal.

At the rehearsal.

Everything looks great from the outside. What's happening?

He was 40 minutes late to the rehearsal to, like, the walkthrough and shows up in sweatpants. Shows up in sweatpants. Mind you, his, like, groomsmen are out there with me, a lot of some of his grooms, when we're actually on time and shows up in. And I don't really care about what somebody's wearing. Just, like, look put together. But you're wearing yellow champion sweatshirts.

You're having a 300 person wedding. Like, there's. I think there's a standard to be.

Like, I mean, 100 and 5300. Who's counting? There's a lot of freaking people there. You're wearing yellow sweatshirts. And to me, that was out of spite. Cause I just requested that he wears just, like, some kind of a short and, like, a. Just, like, a clean white shirt, button up t shirt. I don't even care. Just, like, look what put together. Like, we matched. I just wanted to match. Right? We're the bride and the groom.

Were you embarrassed?

Oh, my God. I was humiliated 40 minutes late. All of my friends, you know, husbands are there staring, wondering where he is.

You're not opened up? You haven't opened up to anybody at this point?

No. And one of my friend's husbands, our friend's husband, who also played in the league, kind of looked at me and was like, what is going on? Why? And then we were, like, doing the lineup. His side was, like, goofing off, like, not taking it seriously. And I was like, is this, like, a joke to everybody? I just felt so embarrassed and humiliated. And we walked down the aisle, and then we're walking back to proceed out, and my photographer stops us halfway down the aisle and is like, okay, sometimes halfway down the aisle. You stop. I'll be standing here. We'll get a picture and get you guys kissing. Da da da. And he was like, I'm not forcing a kiss. Like, if it happens, it happens. And I just, like, was fighting back tears. Like, I'm like, oh, my God. What is actually going on? I think there was a part of me that was in denial, right? Like, I'm like, we're getting married. Like, we've been together for so long. Like, if we don't figure out, like, the semantics of, like, whatever else, like, at the end of the day, we're here in Hawaii.

We're gonna have this good celebration with, like, all of our friends and family and, like, celebrate our love. And, like, we always get through everything. It doesn't matter to. In that moment when that happened so publicly in front of somebody he doesn't know, like, embarrass me, I was like, yeah, no. Wow, that hurt.

Also, in front of our father, our dad, Isaac.

We are so lucky to have the dad, who we are, and not many girls can speak so highly about their experience and relationship with their father. We literally have a dad of gold. And, like, watching him in that moment.

I will never forget the night before your canceled wedding, our dad came up to you and me and said, I will get you out of this. Say the word, I'll get you a flight. I will literally do anything for you right now if you want to leave.

Yeah.

So the morning of your wedding, you call off the wedding.

Yeah.

What were your thoughts and feelings that led to that decision?

The night before, he didn't really talk to me. At the rehearsal dinner the night before.

Your wedding, he didn't talk to you?

Wedding rehearsal, did not speak to me. I sat with my friend and her husband, actually, at a table, not with him. He sat with his friends. Didn't really interact with me, didn't really take pictures of me, didn't really dance with me. I'm like, okay, all these people are here. Like, I'm feeling pressure now.

It's crazy.

Everybody could tell, though, we traveled so far for this, and, oh, my God, now I feel like an a hole. At no point prior to this. Let me just put that on the record. At no point prior to this that I think we weren't gonna get married. Maybe I was delusional. Maybe I was stupid. I don't know, to be honest. But I thought we could get through anything. We're gonna get through it. The morning of our wedding, everybody's asking me, dude, are you gonna do this? Friends, husbands.

I mean, nobody up until this point, nobody from, like, your friend group, your family, acquaintances, nobody had seen your relationship or had a front seat to your relationship up until the day before your wedding. So do you think that now everybody knowing and, like, saying, hey, like, we noticed this, do you think it became more real that there might actually be a problem?

Yeah, we didn't really. We were always with each other or with his friends and family. We really weren't around mine. I mean, besides you guys. But even, like, as the time went on, we were less and less hanging out with even my family. And I think, looking back now, one of my friends said it. They were like, I wish I would have spoke up about the things that I thought were unhealthy a lot earlier. Cause I don't think, you know, there's. Covid. You're not really around anybody anyways. Then things that happened with us on his health level, we weren't around a lot of people. And so I think tendencies and communication styles and ways that we interacted, looking back now, were not healthy in his.

Defense, which is hard to give us perspective as your sister, but in his defense, do you think he was using the prenup? And even the way he was acting around the wedding, do you think he was trying to protect himself? And maybe he saw you not signing the prenup as you trying to take advantage of him? Because on paper, he is a guy with a lot of money. Do you think his family was in his ear? His. I mean, financial advisors, his team, his teammates, his agents? Do you think that people were like, oh, she's not signing a prenup. She clearly is after something wrong, 100%.

And I'm going to speculate, and this is just me guessing as to what happened. I can't imagine that those people wouldn't be in his ear, saying that from our own perspective. You know, you have these two people who now, at this point, have been together nine and a half years. Right. I think that nobody, like, stopped maybe, and, like, had, like, an honest conversation with him about, like, the relationship. Like, do you love this person? You know, has there been anything that's led you to this point to believe that you would want to, like, do these, like, harmful things? I think from, like, if I was a lawyer and I was, you know, trying to make somebody do this, I could see how a lawyer would be, like, you know, a little more aggressive.

Right.

But looking back now, it's, like, hard to not think that.

What would you say to those people, to the people who might have said in that moment before you canceled the wedding, why wouldn't you just sign the prenup? If you're not after his money, why won't you just do what he says? If you do love him, why don't you just sign this prenup? What would you say to those people?

I would ask those people to make a judgment on my character. Cause they know me. Have I ever done something that led you to believe that feeling? Like, think of me as a person and think of our relationship as an entirety. From the moment we met until now, there's a lot of things that they didn't know about behind closed doors that we were going through. He didn't really open up to his family about a lot of things, and that's fine, and not everybody has to do that. I wish that there was more of an empathetic conversation being had to me, because at that point, we were family. Those people were my family.

Do you think that when the pre nip conversation happened, there was a switch.

That was flipped 100%. I think they started to see me as this person was like, I don't know, gonna take somebody's, I don't know, money or do something crazy, I was like, I've never been that person.

Which is interesting, because you were willing to get married without signing a paper.

I don't think they would know that. I would like them to know that now. It was never about the legalities of it, to be honest. Have I ever gotten pregnant?

I mean, I hate to say it, but that's always what my. Where my brain goes is whenever someone says, oh, you're a gold digger. Oh, you're just after his money. It's quite literally, really. It's really easy to get pregnant.

I mean.

I mean, wait, hold on. There's a lot of women. There's a lot of women struggling with infertility. But I'm saying, from the perspective of if you were trying to trap him or trying to get his money, if.

I was that malicious of a human being, there could have been a lot of things I could have done. I could have been out going and buying bags. Barely. Barely. Did I buy lululemon underwear? Okay, like, that was your employee discount. Yeah. Like, I was never, like, this flashy person. I didn't need nice things. Like, when he did nice things for me, it wasn't because of asking for anything.

He would give you nice gifts.

He would give me great gifts. He would do elaborate, romantic things.

But you weren't buying him. I mean, luxury cars, you weren't buying.

I didn't need that stuff.

Right.

To be honest, I wouldn't take 15 dogs, but.

So you're saying if. If it was because of the money or it was because of malicious reasons, you could have done about it a different way?

I mean, why would I. If I was really this person? Like, why would I have waited until this moment to, like, be this evil person? I was just looking at for me and the potential possibility of me having children. And not that I didn't trust his family. I definitely trusted them 100%.

But I think his family was really good to you.

Leading up to amazing. And our families got along. That was, like, the best thing for me. Yeah. Like, our family's got along really well. But in my head, as me thinking about kids and bringing kids in the picture, God forbid something happened to him, you never know what could happen, right? So I'm thinking about kids. Like, this whole thing is about me having kids at some point, and I just always wanted to make sure that I was going to be protected as a mother. And I didn't feel that, which is.

Crazy, because had you signed, and this is me just speculating, but had you signed a prenup, and there's legal jargon in there about children, you were almost better off not signing a prenup and just having children.

Yeah. Because depending on the state, which is another thing that. Cause I had to have three different lawyers from three different states. Look at this document.

Interesting.

Because states and the. You can't talk about kids literally at all in prenups. Kids are, like. Are more protected by, like, each state. So having three different lawyers in three different states. Cause again, remember ping pong ball? We aren't just in one place. Right. That also depends. Cause, like, okay, if I have a baby, in what state, I'm thinking, like, big picture, interesting. Whole United States.

Do you regret waiting until your wedding day to cancel the wedding?

I had to be in a pressure cooker for me to come to the decision I made. When you do, I regret people having to travel. Yeah. I wish this pressure cooker could have happened somewhere else, but, yeah.

So do you remember what you were feeling when you ultimately decided?

Yeah. What was the deciding factor, seeing him.

From my perspective, you were all getting our hair and makeup done on your wedding day. My hair and makeup is done. Arguably, I look really good.

I mean, my hair makeup girl slayed.

I remember your makeup girl handing you the mirror, and you start crying. And the makeup girl, God bless her.

Heart, literally, she had no idea what was going on.

She didn't see it coming.

Not a question.

She handed you the mirror, and you start crying, and she goes, oh, let me get a tissue. No, no, no, don't cry. And I look at you, this is.

The best day of your life. And I'm like, this actually is the worst day of my life right now.

I look at you and I go, are you okay? And you go, I can't do this.

Yep. Wedding planner called me. She's like, he wants to talk. And I knew that in the moment that I saw him, I was either gonna feel complete comfort and ease, or I was gonna. It was gonna be a pivotal moment for me to know that this is not the path that I need to be on.

And it ended up not being the path because there is no ring on.

Your finger, no grandma's ring, an aura ring.

How's those stress levels?

My heart rate. Tonight's gonna be like, you have had an elevated heart rate for 3 hours today.

Morning of your wedding, you cancel your wedding.

What happens after so one, I had my full hair and makeup done, and I walked into the room to this man to meet him, and he did not say one thing about how beautiful I looked. Not one thing about, you know, I love you. We can figure this all out. Nothing of the sort.

It wasn't like a love conversation.

Like, love did not. What? Love was not in the room with us. And I walked out of that room, I said, should we cancel the ceremony? And he said, yeah, I think that's probably best.

But he still wanted to do the reception.

Yeah. So I walk back to the bridal.

Suite and I'm sorry, that sounds fucking crazy.

No. Literally insane. Is it not? I'm like, oh, we're gonna call. I'm gonna like, let's just cancel the ceremony. In my mind, that meant the whole thing, but not to him. Apparently, he wanted to keep the reception going. And so I walked back to the bridal suite. It was like, you guys didn't like you. I was. I walked in, I remember just saying, like, yeah, this isn't happening. Nobody asked me anything. Everybody just went into a meet immediately. Anything that anybody knew how to do, that's what they did.

Actually.

Actually, our friend's husband put on a bridal robe and was just doing anything to get a, like, a laugh. Which he did.

Yeah, he did. Yeah.

All.

Which. It was a pretty. I mean, it was a fairly large wedding. I mean, 150. How many people?

I had, like, eight bridesmaids.

Yeah, you had a lot of bridesmaids. But there were a lot of people, but not as many people from our side of the family or, like, our friends and family that had, uh, came to the wedding. So immediately after you cancel, a lot of weird conversations are being had. Thankfully, I was. I only had to communicate with the wedding planner, so my job was done and I was like, fuck, what are we gonna do? Um. How did you feel? Were you embarrassed? Were you?

I was. I was honestly in a state of shock. There was a lot of me that was like, did I really just do that? Is this for good? Did you have any regret in the moment? I was kind of just like, did I make the right decision? Because at this, I still love this person. I will always love this person. I will always have love for this human being.

Yeah.

I'm like, shit, what is going on?

It's crazy, because after I grew up with this person in our lives, I still have love for him and his family.

I always will. And I hate that things led to. I hate that. The way they went this way, like.

Straight up, you hate that you had to cancel your wedding and who.

I hate it. I literally hate it. Like, I make the joke, and people, like, now I'm in a heel place. I can joke about it, but, like, people are like, no way. Actually, yeah. Have you ever had island fever?

Let me tell you two truths and a lie.

I had it.

So then, yeah, whatever happened on the wedding day, it happened. That's fine.

It was really the next day that it hit me.

So you went to Hawaii on a private jet.

Yeah.

Three dogs. You, him. How did you get off the island?

God bless the people at American Airlines.

And I hate to say this, but you had no credit card at this point.

Nothing. Because, remember, I quit my job, right? So I was using his debit card. And I'm not ashamed to say, that's me. Like, ellie, we're using his money. Well, yeah, I don't have any.

Sorry. You're about to get married to somebody.

We have three dogs. I'm living on an island by myself with our three dogs, because it's. If you've ever tried to travel with your dogs, it is excruciatingly difficult to get your dogs there. So we had to, like, make sure we had enough time because we wanted the dogs there, right? So how did you get off? I have $0 debit card shut off. I'm, like, thinking, at least this person's like, oh, okay. Let me get you home.

Let me get you home.

Let me get you out of here. No, nothing. Not a text, not a call, nothing. And that was the most shocking to me because I'm thinking, we're with somebody for that long, their well being at least has to be a little bit of top, like, of the mind. I mean, they had the whole reception, his whole people's went, everybody.

We had mutual people that ended up going to the wedding thinking it was still happening.

Everyone's like, where's Emily? Like, why is she not here? The craziest part is that the wedding planners gotta love them. They said inclement weather or something. But then it ended up torrentially downpouring and thunderstorming.

Apparently, it's good luck for it to rain on your wedding day. Yeah, well, maybe it's even better luck for it to rain for your canceled wedding day. Um. It's crazy. Everything that did happen at the. At the reception. Cause it did still happen.

Yeah.

I saw photos on social media. I saw videos on social media.

They were having, like, a full on party. And to me, was that hurtful. Oh, my God. I mean. Cause I follow these people, also on social media. Devastating. Yeah, devastating.

Well, you're not gonna cancel your wedding and immediately think, hmm, I'm gonna turn off their credit card and I'm gonna unfollow everybody. Which happened.

And there was, like, I feel like our. My relationship, at least in a. With a couple of his, like, friends and family members, like, leading up to that week, was, like, rocky because I was, like, I was stressed, dude. And that you're related to this person, so I can't complain. Complain or, like, vent or, like, ask for advice from you, which. Those are people who I typically would ask advice from, too.

Is there anything you regret in terms of the relationships with his family?

Yeah, I definitely said some things that, like, that week that I was. Should never have said. I was very angry, very hurt and hurt people. Hurt people. So I wish and I apologize to this person before this all happened because I was like, you know, that was really wrong of me. But to not have had anybody. One person from his side reached out the next day and we had run into each other in the lobby. Because the day after, I woke up in absolute panic, like, sick to my stomach, wanting to throw up. At least I had one of my dogs because somebody knew that I needed. I needed Kya.

That was. Do you even know that was me?

Yeah, I do. Okay, well, you got. I got accused of stealing a dog.

I get accused of. Yeah, stealing a dog. But I knew that when you had broken up a few years prior, that dog really did a lot for your mental health. And I was like, oh, she's gonna need everything she can get right now.

She is gonna need it all.

But you legally bought that dog. Can we just make that?

No. Yeah. Like, I adopted her.

Okay, the papers are all yours.

The paper is mine. That dog was mine. Yeah. So nobody else's name was on that paperwork.

I'm not trying to get arrested.

She was not a stolen dog.

So then how did you get off the island?

One of my good friends had a flight that day, and she's like, I have a connecting flight at LAX. I couldn't go back home. Right? I didn't really have a home to go back to.

What?

Was I gonna go back to the place that we were staying at? No.

So you no longer had a house? You no longer had a home. You no longer. What did you have?

Nothing. That morning we woke up, mom was like, immediately, like, oh, wait, I'm sorry.

It makes me so fucking sick to my stomach picturing you going from, I mean, everything. Your suitcase is white. I had tags on it. You were planning on staying in Hawaii and, like, celebrating your marriage.

And it was the 4 July. We were gonna stay there for an extra week. So I had one, two suitcases filled with bride stuff, top, top to bottom. I had shipped everything from California back to where we were gonna be going afterwards. So, yeah, I have two suitcases. My friend's layover is an LAx. She was like, you cannot be flying by yourself. And she has a service dog. So she was like, we're going to finagle this service dog paperwork. We're going to go march our little butts right up to American Airlines, and we're going to get you off this island. Because at this point, I'm like, okay, now I'm on an island. Now I'm like, I'm claustrophobic. I need to get out of here. So we go, we take the red eye, we get to Laxethere or Italia, we get to the airport in Honolulu, we go up to the counter, and they're like, well, you have to have the service dog paperwork, like, 24 hours in advance. I said, uh, sir, eyes starting to swell. I think this is the, the moment it all hit me. I was like, I just called off my wedding, and I didn't know I was going to call my wedding off 24 hours ago.

The American Airlines sweet, sweet angel was like, we will figure this out. Cause I lost it in that moment. I couldn't. That was the moment that it hit me. He like, goes through the computer, he's like, everything's fine. We're gonna get you on the plane. Cause now I'm like, oh, I'm stuck here. I can't trust this person to get my dog home. Are you kidding? I gotta get out here and she needs to come with me. So we ended up, they figured it out, got me on the flight, and I flew back to LA.

Do get a little, I mean, granted, everything that had just happened, but do you get a little frustrated, like, looking back at that situation and thinking, how can I almost get married to somebody and then they don't even give a shit how I get home?

I mean, looking back now, I'm. That is, if I were ever. I question this question that I, this decision I made so many times, and, like, looking back, and it's like, that speaks volumes.

And his, he might respond to that and say, well, then why did you cancel our wedding?

I would then respond to that and say, throughout all those conversations, I didn't feel like you were talking to me as the person you knew. I think you were talking to me as the person other people were making me out to be. And I don't think the emotional, like, relationship we had, there was never, like, the conversation between the two of us was very, like, there was no compassion. Let's talk as real humans who know each other and love each other type of thing.

After you cancel your wedding.

Yep.

You make it back to California. What's next? You don't have a house, you don't have a job. You quite literally only have two suitcases and they're both full of white clothes because you were about to get married.

I have only bride stuff, and so I just had to wear all white.

I'm sorry, you have to laugh, but.

Like, thank God I had so much, like, workout stuff because I was, like, in Hawaii, like, active. Yeah. I am a fitness queen. I did not cancel my Equinox membership. And I texted the membership advisor back at the equinox I was going to in LA, and I was like, hey, wedding didn't happen. Can you just cancel my membership? I don't have a job. There's no way I can pay for this. And Equinox has, like, a referral program. And he was like, the last thing you need is to not have an outlet for, like, your mental health right now. And he was like, I will refer every person that doesn't have a actual referral to you. So it made, like, my equinox membership so cheap. And, like, people are like, oh, who's the most important person when you called your wedding off? Like, between you and Isaac and the man from Equinox who was like, this girl needs to work out. She cannot be good.

They should have, like, a affiliate approgram where if you cancel your wedding or go through something traumatic, you should get some workouts.

Equinox. Lizzo, I have a business for you.

This is a great sponsorship opportunity. Equinox. This episode is brought to you by. I'm kidding. It's actually not brought. It's actually brought to you by Valetour, which promotes travel.

Would love to go to Hawaii again. Make some new memories.

Yeah. So aftermath of a canceled wedding. What parts of your life were your own and what parts were still attached to him?

I had no idea, actually. I didn't even know who I was. I had an existential crisis about myself.

No, you did.

Fully, fully.

Well, I mean, where did you end up living with you and Isaac?

I moved in.

I was like, you moved into our two bedroom apartment?

Yeah.

Not very big.

No. And you guys were in the process of buying a house or did. You had just bought the house.

We were in the process.

Yeah. And, like, mom and dad were like, okay, we need it. Like, come back to Michigan. I'm like, the last place I want to be right now is back home in my hometown.

Yeah. You don't want to move back in with your parents after you cancel your wedding.

Could you imagine, like, people from your hometown, too? Like, you went off and, like, did all these things, like, moved all these places, and then you move back? Not that I particularly care what those people think. I just could not imagine, like, the chatter about it.

Small town vibe.

Yeah. There's no way I could. I couldn't have done that.

No. Instead.

Instead I moved in with my sister, who's freshly married. Honeymoon phase. Just bought a house, and I'm helping you guys move into this house and.

And unfortunately is ridiculously all over social media.

Yeah.

I went from posting what should I wear to my sister's rehearsal dinner and making a whole series about it to just acting like it didn't happen. Everyone's like, how was the wedding? Why didn't I see any wedding content? I go, oh, yeah, yeah.

Actually, we're moving in our new house, and da da da da da. Help you guys move in your house. Isaac said, gearing up for the season.

Yeah. So football season ended up working in our favor.

Yeah.

In that capacity. Because we were not living in our house for six months.

Yeah.

We ended up moving to Cleveland, and you ended up moving into our house.

Yep.

Yeah. How was that?

Well, I think there was, like, I didn't want to be, like, the sister. Like, cramping your honeymoon. Like, this is your first house you buy together. Right. I'm like, I think you stayed with.

Friends or something the first week.

Like, the week that you moved. Yeah.

I'm like, oh, wow. She's canceled her wedding, and she's still self aware.

Wow. Barely dangling by a thread. But I was like, I didn't want to be.

I think there was overlap from our apartment, maybe, to something. I don't know.

There's a lot of things that. Who knows?

Yeah.

All I know is that I was. I didn't want to, like, cramp your style. Like, this should be a happy time for you. And I'm like, I am not. Well, okay. Not at all.

No, you weren't.

Not at all. And so I wanted to, like, be as removed and, like, not put my mental health crises on anybody else.

What is step one after canceling your wedding, like, what would you recommend to any other person? Maybe. Maybe not. Waiting until the day of.

Yeah, maybe.

Maybe. Anybody leaving a hard or a relationship that might take a lot out of you, a relationship that might. You might lose a little sense of identity. What would you. What kind of advice would you give?

I wish that during our relationship, I had a therapist that I saw more regularly to talk about things. Not that a therapist is going to be like, you need to leave, but, like, I think a therapist can help you identify things that maybe I wish I would have seen before. That would be, like, step one before even, like, getting to that point. Somebody at your housewarming party came and asked me a question that I wanted to smack them for, but probably was the most valuable question I was asked after this experience.

Wow.

And they asked me what happened because they were friends with the other side, and I was like, you know, going through a. What happened? My experience? And they said. They asked me. They said, so what did this teach you? And my immediate reaction was, like, anger, rage. I wanted to just, like, fight everybody. Yeah, I'm mad. I'm angry. I'm never gonna love anybody again. And he was like, no, seriously, like, what did this teach you? And that has carried on with me in everything I do. So I started to try to view this as, like, how could I use this experience to be a better person, a better partner for my next partner? You have to spend a lot of time with yourself. You have to date yourself. You have to love yourself. Where do you want to go on a date? Take yourself there. Go try something you've never done before. Go make yourself really uncomfortable. Loving yourself. Nobody can take that away from you. And I didn't have a lot of self love at this point.

So you cancel your wedding two years ago. What does that rebuild of your life looked like?

There's been ebbs and flows. I think I get into, like, this, like, high, and, like, things are going really well, and then, like, the minute something, like, shifts, like, something not necessarily bad, but just something's not going the way that I want it to go. And I'm really easily, like, downshift into this, like, negative spiral, and you just can't let yourself spiral like that. That's moments where I'm like, okay, what is this teaching me? What can I learn from this? How can I use this opportunity to, like, make myself better?

Are you happy now?

I'm really happy. I'm really happy.

Are you proud of yourself?

God, yeah. That makes me want to cry. Yeah, I'm really proud of myself, and I think that that's something that's really been uncomfortable for me to say. People are like, oh, my God, you should be so proud of yourself. I'm like, ew, stop. I hate when people say that, but being able to love myself now and be like, yeah, actually, you did that and you chose yourself and you made that decision.

This might be a hard question for you to answer, but do you miss this other person? Do you still love them?

I miss certain parts, I was gonna say.

Cause you're now at a place where I feel like you're removed from the whole wedding but a little bit more healed. And I feel like you've really, like, you are super independent. You just moved into a beautiful apartment that you're paying yourself for yourself. You have two dogs that you feed organic fucking food. Like, jesus Christ, spoiled.

They eat better than I do.

They eat, like, scotty level food.

And, like, for pitbull moms, like, pit bulls have the worst allergies. It's like, I don't choose to do this life. They chose it for themselves.

So do you still love him? Do you miss him?

I miss certain parts. I think when people hear like, oh, you miss them? I'm always gonna miss, and I'm always gonna love this person. I think people are like, oh, they want to get. She wants to get back together. I have not talked to this person at all. So I miss, like, the good things that I, like, look back and I'm like, we used to have so much fun. I miss having a partner, like, somebody to be with. But then I look back and I'm like, was I really. I was really lonely a lot of the time, even though I was with somebody all the time.

What are you carrying into looking for a partner? Everything you've learned and everything you've been through. What are some red flags? What are some things that you're looking for in a partner?

They have to be able to hang out with my friends.

Isn't that. The bar is fucking low?

It sounds insane. The bar is actually in the basement. But they don't need to necessarily to do the things that I want, but they need to love me enough to make an effort to do the things that I love and enjoy and be around the people that I love and enjoy.

You're not asking for that person to love everything you do. But no, I mean, that's like me saying, I love country music, and Isaac's like, I hate country music, but him still buying his tickets.

Yeah. It's loving somebody so much that you're willing to make an effort to find, to do things that they find enjoyable.

From your last relationship. I mean, you're a very active person. You like to do things that are adventurous.

Yeah.

You like hanging out on the couch and, like, watching Netflix. But something I always noticed was that he didn't want to do the things that you like to do. Like go for hikes.

Yeah.

Or take a workout class.

Yeah.

So I really hope that you find somebody that likes to do those same things.

Yeah. Not even, like, all the time, like, regular, like, one offs, man.

No, all the fucking time. Emily.

Bring it fair.

Sing it fair. Bring this fucking standard up.

Shoot for this fair.

Shoot for the moon. So you land in the stars or something.

You know, that's like. I don't even think it's going to the classes. Like, I'm a Pilates instructor. Right, right. It's supporting my classes.

Right.

Going to my classes, acknowledging that, like, I am a professional. I actually do know what I'm talking about when it comes to Pilates and fitness.

Just somebody who supports you.

Yeah.

What would you say to a woman who is no longer looking to be in their relationship and might be scared of how to leave or how to get out?

One. If you're in an unsafe relationship, there's domestic hotlines you can call, and that's like. I want to make that abundantly clear that if you're not in a safe situation, that there are resources out there.

Not saying that you were in.

No, no. I'm just, you know, if somebody is out there and that's their experience. But I think it's a lot of times that there's a lot of chatter from, like, friends, family that, like, makes you almost. It almost pushes you to stay to somebody. Finding a really good person that you trust, whether it's, you know, your pastor, your church, a friend of a family, a father, a grandpa, find somebody who can be as completely unbiased as possible to have really solid conversations with. And if you think that you're hiding things from your family, that's probably a pretty big red flag.

I think if you are open with one person, it makes things a little bit more real.

100%.

It ponders, literally, when me and Isaac took a four month break and I didn't tell anybody.

Yeah.

Am I a red flag?

I literally had no idea. She told nobody.

Secrets. There are gonna be some people from his life that are gonna listen to this.

Probably gonna have a lot to say.

Yeah. What would you say to them? Or what would you say? Like, overarching? Like, what is your message? A lot of bad things happen, both from his side, maybe even from your side.

I'm definitely not a perfect person.

I don't necessarily. That makes you bad people. I think that things could have gone about in a different manner from various viewpoints. A lot of things could have been done differently. And at the end of the day, I think that everybody wants the best for everybody else, whether that be together or separate. Yeah, that was the most fucking mund.

Like, the way that's the best for everybody. We should just make a full of.

Rainbows and sunshine, butterflies.

No, I genuinely. I mean, and I even, like, I truly want the best for him. Like, I hope he achieves everything that he wants and more in this life. I hope he finds a partner that loves him unconditionally to his side. I would just say that, like, I love them unconditionally, and, like, that was one of the hardest things, is never being able to talk to them again. And I always loved them. I still love them. If any of them reached out, I would be open to having a conversation with them just as human beings, because this didn't just affect just me and him, it affected everybody on both sides. And so that's always been really hard for me because I didn't know how somebody from his family did reach out, and they were like, I wish I would have. I wish I would have given you a hug when I ran into you in the lobby. And the conversation after that was, I just want all the happiness in the world. They said that to me. So if they were listening, this didn't happen because of a lack of trying. I really think I did everything I could to make this work, and I didn't.

What are you looking forward to?

Finding my person. Two years out. Now I'm 32.

Do you get sad about the fact that you spent nine years of your life with somebody and that now you're starting back over?

I used to, but now I don't because I wouldn't be the person who I am today if I had not gone through all those experiences, which is.

Crazy, because two years ago, I asked you the same question, and you said, yeah, like, it's like, I hate it. And now I feel like you're in a much more healed place that you can say you're grateful for everything you've been through.

I live in the best city with the best people, have made the best friends.

Like, strange, you're better friends than I have best friends, and I would have.

Never known these people. I got another dog, and he's literally the best. Brings a smile on my face every day. I wouldn't have him if I didn't have had this experience. And so I think I'm really grateful for everything that has led me to the change and growth in myself.

When a girl is dating a football player, should they not. Should they avoid any particular positions?

I wouldn't say avoid any positions. I don't think you need to avoid particular sports, but I think that you need to, like, seriously ask yourself if that lifestyle is for you.

Is there anything else you want to say?

NFL player? Yeah. I would say for anybody who's leaving a long term relationship that to not fall on either side of the toxicity spectrum, it's really easy to lose yourself in a person, and it's really easy to not let somebody in after being hurt so bad. Love is out there. I can see that in you and Isaac and I actively, in dating, just try to not hold any preconceived notions, experiences against this person, because that can be really tough and coming, like, on the other side of this. Two years ago, if you asked me this, I'd be like, I hate love, and I hate everybody. Just being very cognizant about not falling into the later.

Right. Well, thank you so much. Thank you for having me for coming on the podcast. Do you feel good that you've told your truth? Like, your side, your perspective?

Yeah. I think social media has been really good about being in my comments and being like, you're a gold digger, you know, you're this, you're that. And I didn't want this to go like this, and I didn't want to not be with that person. So I think that's just, like, I never really, like, got to say my piece or, like, you know, I didn't have anybody to look up to when this all happened, too, so I was going through it very alone. So I do this for the girlies because I was an older sister. I am an older sister.

I'm like, was.

Oh, I'm not going nowhere. Just having, you know, I do this to allow some girl out there who doesn't maybe doesn't have any sisters at all, see that you can go through something really traumatic and lose somebody that, you know, poured your heart and soul into, and then you can come out and you can be happy. Like, I'm happy. So happy by myself right now. Do I crave that partner? Do I want a little baby to hang out with Scotty?

For sure.

But it'll come.

It'll come. Where can the people find you?

TikTok. Emily cooch Instagram. Emilycouch San Diego. Hit me up. Teaching pilates all over the city of San Diego.

You're like, do you want to date me?

Hi. Would you like to come take a pilates class?

Yeah. Thank you for coming on.

Thank you.

Hopefully there will be a part two when you get engaged or married or pregnant.

Smaller wedding.

Yeah. Will you have a. Will you have a wedding?

I want to have, like, I want to have a wedding dress moment and, like, have a wedding. But, like, would it be, like, more like yours? Yeah. 100%. 100%.

Cause I had a 60 person wedding.

Yeah. That sounds about right. In an all inclusive resort. Sounds about even better for me.

Yeah. Lovely.

Minimal.

Well, thanks for popping on. You're literally about to watch Scotty after this.

Yeah.

Thank you guys for tuning in. Be sure to tune into Sunday Sports Club podcast wherever you get your podcast and on YouTube on Sunday and Thursdays. See ya.

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