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[00:00:07]

It's to Johnny's podcast, to Johnny's podcast, to Johnny's record, the podcast. Hello, hello, hello, welcome to the two Gianni's podcast, bring you all the mayhem news in the world of the two. Johnny. Johnny B. Hunnam. Johnny Cmax, welcome to podcast one hundred two comedy. You like wedding guests descending on a dance floor when Rock the Boat is played. On this week's podcast, we get Fast and Furious. We discuss everything related to driving and cars themselves.

[00:00:40]

He's not an international man of mystery. He's a local man full of mischief. No furlong. We'll be back with the news. She's from a village in Northmead that Gerry Adams once described as being like Craggy Island. True story. Maureen is here with her history topic, and we're definitely going to ask her that.

[00:00:56]

And that's traditional as drawing on your friend's face with permanent marker.

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When they fall asleep at a house party, we round off to podcast with our yards and dirt all week before commencing with proceedings.

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Those matters arising from last week's podcast.

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Yes, Mr. Chairman, I'm just some shit talk from all to kick us off right now.

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We will have shit to hear the Sudanese fucker this to do at festivals. We were talking about this in 2015 after finishing our leaving's hurts me and a group of friends travel to Scotland for the music festival t in the park in. But anyway, on the last night the festival mean the boyfriend were starving and decided we'd get some food from one of the chipper vans we scoffed at back and thought no more about it.

[00:01:38]

About half an hour had passed and me and himself were not feeling good. We weren't sure what any of us it was going to come out, but it was common. Now, for anyone that's been to music festival, you know how manque toilets are in general. But on the last night of the festival, they're a different story altogether. To smell alone would nearly kill you. Naturally, neither of us wants to go into them. One of the lads stepped up to the plate, handed my boyfriend a black bin bag and told him, Go into the tent and use this Jesus Christ as a good friend.

[00:02:13]

So that's exactly what he did when he had finished doing his business. He emerged from the tent with the bag of shit in hand and brought him over to where I was sitting. I told him to fuck off because it smelled rotten, but he held the bag in front of me. And anyway, before I knew it, I had his shit all over me, sleeping bag and camping chair. I still remember the look of shock, horror and also disgust all over our friend's faces, including his not knowing whether to laugh or cry.

[00:02:41]

I did the latter.

[00:02:42]

I started bawling. Then I felt it. My stomach flipped and within seconds I began gawking my heart and soul up. In his defense, he did not realize his shit would melt through the plastic bag.

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What was it?

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Fucking nuclear jet fuel burning steel beams. He must've been drinking a lot of energy drinks.

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It's been five years since the incident and we're together now. Still no need to keep me anonymous. I tell everyone the story because I think it's funny. No hope is get as much enjoyment out of it as any of my friends do from Aala. Yeah. What was in his shit?

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I'm putting a ban on pool talk on this podcast. It's too early. We went into it. Now, at this stage, this is this has gone beyond just my motor. Listens to this podcast. Disclaimer for anyone who was.

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Yeah, lads, there's so many in breakfast. They're not listening to that. Our deepest apologies aula I skip forward Johnny.

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Well you were reading that and I was like they were not still together and they are or let you put up with a lot of shit literally. Jack emailed the pod and said I have quite an embarrassing story which my friends only know I work on a dairy farm. And this one evening as I was milking cows, I got lost in the topic of your podcast. Next minute. I know Archie's. Here we go again.

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Here we go. Next minute.

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I know I have cows poo all over my face, hair trousers. Basically, I have it everywhere. I would normally see the tail go up and run like the devil. But sheep was way in my clothes down and sticking to me. I quickly took off my clothes and threw them on the bears to drive them out. Hopefully was thinking and continued milking in my jocks in a hoodie I had in the car. Everything was grand until my boss walked in, seen me in my underwear.

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What was worse is that I didn't even know he was there because I had headphones in. Listen, in full blast to the podcast, I was mortified when I turned around all was well or he completely understood but can't see it. That made me anywhere less uncomfortable.

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He went on laughing and I threw him out of the Parador so I could finish myself in peace.

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Can Sharon is just part of the course if I merlots. Yeah, yeah. And why not tell us here to Johnny's podcast. It literally, literally worshipped merchants.

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If you've been shot on anybody affected by what they just heard, please call it 800. Is it?

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Another anonymous emailer said, but all the mishaps that seem to involve sexual nature, a big talking point. On the last few podcasts, I thought I'd share mine and see if I could top it. I was on a G one a couple of years ago, living in a two bedroom apartment with sixteen Irish people, eleven girls and five.

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To covid hotbed now, isn't it? I happen to have a bit of luck and was getting on well with one of the girls in the apartment, we were heading out one night and we were playing our nightly ritual. That's the game of Kings drinking game in which another lad had a habit of trying to fix it so that one of us would always get the last king and hence getting the cup and getting Bluebox drunk fast. This night I was successful, but unfortunately the King's Cup was particularly toxic that night and I was in an awful heap, couldn't get into the nightclub.

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So the aforementioned girl that I was going with said, Hey, do you want me? We'll go back to the house and just get busy.

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Keep busy. Sean. Paul, is it like you want to go home, get busy, girl. Check that book. Tell me, what's daddy busy.

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Well, pitfalls, Mr. Warren. Pause in just Chanderpaul. He just. Just Chanderpaul. Yeah.

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Just show Chanderpaul at random times. Anyway, he said I was obviously game to get busy girl. Come on girls. Anyway, what's the day today.

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And they went back to the apartment and started going at it. At one point she turned around and asked me if I wanted to go at her from the back.

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It's like a train andron. So I stood up at the end of the bed and I had to go out. I was trying to get in the back door. I put a bit too much of a swing into the hips and the feet went from underneath me and they planted me fear straight onto her back. And I busted my nose open. I ran straight out to the bathroom door to try and sort myself out. But I busted my head into the bathroom door and knocked myself clean.

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I woke up the next morning in the hallway, completely naked and with a broken nose and a sore head. Moral of the story. Be careful playing the game of Kings. It's dangerous. Carry on. Yes, it is.

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He blames the game of Kings for what happened to him that he was locked.

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Oh, you've got to keep your balance. Don't be trying that, you see, don't be trying any acrobat when you're getting busy. Chanderpaul, tell me what to do when you're getting busy. You know, don't be trying to be a labus.

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Just get the job done.

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Oh, come on, lady. Too big for a job. That's a room for a bit of experimentation. Sack sports.

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JotSpot slender here, not drinking.

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I can't remember the last time I played a drinking game that was funny when we were living together. We did play Kings. Yeah. The new game now is go out and try not to ruin your life.

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Next on Johnny on Booty Call.

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Oh yes, I of living together I hope. Years ago, Martina said years ago I wanted something from home brought up to me in Limerick. So my mother asked her friend to ask her son to give it to me.

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Not literally, I'm guessing, although he worked in Limerick a few days a week and she dropped it over to him and gave him my number. So he takes me to meet up and give me the address. I think it was. And that was grand. Later that night, he started texting again and one thing led to another pure riden and therefore no strings attached. And we did it on a few more occasions after that booty call, but a bit of crack.

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Therefore, no spooning, a cuddling. But I would stay the night in the Woodlands Hotel in a dare, which incidentally has very comfy beds, and we do it again in the morning. But there was no love. We usually we actually used to just chat about all sorts of gossip about people at home.

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We'd known each other since childhood and I did fancy them when I was younger and I chat him now if I met him. But I just want to say thanks, Mammy, for organizing that one. For me.

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For Martina, your mama's got game. That's a good mother. That's a good mother. Like she took advantage of it. Oh, did you know Martin there?

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She took more power to her. She put it on the wall. And can I just say this is very highbrow booty call to Woodland's hotel there. That's a nice but that's an expensive booty call.

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OK, listen, another listener and this one is definitely over Eighteens that's just finished this week's podcast. And Morra's missed your topic about should the girl finish? Well, I've experienced the other end of this. I'll start from the beginning. Met this local girl on Tinder, beautiful salt of the Earth. But every time we'd meet up, I all I'd get off her. I'm sorry.

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This is shocking. I've written this stuff. I get her off. I get her off. I this is Mars mission trip across. I see you man. He said I'd get her off and she'd be there pulling away at me, not grabbing my cock but literally all for skin. He has that in all caps that caps lock.

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All right. All right. You must be ready if it is true. I think there's oh, here.

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I'm going to talk about at the end of it, readdress the story line is they're just getting all foreskin.

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He said it's as if she's trying to pull a jumper over my head.

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I thought no more of it, put it down to nurse and agreed to go at it again. We said we'd meet up again next time. It happens again. Worse, actually, because she's all do. Why not do it yet? I had to finger her again to distract her just to avoid answering the question. Maybe she just wasn't skilled handler. Needless to say, I had to let her go. It can happen to guys to love the podcast opted for Britney.

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Just not tell her she's gone wrong.

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Tell me about the hand has never had one.

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Look at me like you girls don't know how to.

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You know where the spots are.

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And it's like, you know, I think I heard both described as, you know, when you're given a handjob, pretend like you're trying to get ketchup out of the bottom of a bottle.

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But you know that not and not not not to be, you know. Yeah. You know, you'd be banging that end. That's a whole different kettle of fish.

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But I must just step in here, like, much easier to get allies started than a girl. Yeah, you know what I mean? It there's no excuse for that.

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So, I mean, I wouldn't say there's no excuse for it.

[00:11:35]

Like I let you know, it's only it's only been a friend of mine was saying he remembers the hijab off a girl once. Right.

[00:11:43]

She pulled down his pants and pulled on the pants. They are dirty, was at full mast.

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And he said she got down on her honkers and then she started slapping us with her forehand and backhand, you know, like like bitch slapping it, like slapping it always left and right.

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Like she was trying to put her hands like, you know what, these are savage. I just live it up. What do you say here to each trying to grab a hold of it, but you don't I mean, how would you know you haven't got.

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I lied, people are surely more educated now than if you said into a car at 50, you wouldn't know how to drive this. She you goes up and down like the girls saying, you know, you've been in the passenger seat before, like, yeah, same thing. That's true.

[00:12:32]

That's some analogy. Can we move on from this? Go on.

[00:12:36]

Another anonymous listener said, I had a booty call for eight years with my best friend because feelin's from early into it. But he didn't want anything serious. He was a crap right at the start and always finished earlier. And I used to go off my head last year. He got feelings for me, but all I wanted in was to be friends with previous experience of being heartbroken. I decided to head away to Australia this year and he's telling me he loves me now I can cut him off due to we've been through so much stuff together, we actually have great crack.

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But I do always wonder what will happen down the line.

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We've gone from, like, you know, bitch slapping Willie here to some serious stuff on his podcast, you know, if you know.

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You know. Yeah. If she's not feeling out sometimes that he's only saying that.

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No, because she's in a different continent. Yeah. And he's at home watching reruns of Humulin. Yeah. Lennoxtown. That could be attached to it. That is 100 percent.

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I agree to Johnny, another anonymous listener who said, I guess what, I had a booty call.

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I thought I was going to be with the Pirates eyepatch tango. So I get the sawdust on the floor or something.

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But a guy, he came over the first night anyway, we didn't do the deed, but we did. Bitz He also spent the time he was over talking about how long he would last and all that jazz he left and all that was grand.

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He came over a week or two later and this time we did the deed. All I can say was he didn't last long at all. I would honestly have said about twenty seconds. I was so annoyed after him saying he last age is the previous week. Worst hasn't yet to come a sure while after he finished, he fell asleep. And I mean, this lad was out for the count. I couldn't shift him at all. I had had enough often and woke him up and told him, you have to leave.

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And I haven't spoken to him since. So I have to say I don't believe half the staff lads try and say to each other or even fill me with any more. Yeah, you're going to talk.

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Talk. You better walk the walk. I love this. Wake, wake up. Wake up. Why? Because you shit in bed. You had to go on. Yeah.

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Like in in that man's defence. Like when when the deed is done and the lorries left the yard, you know the Lord has left the yard.

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It is Sleepytime. I would be like so I'll tell you that right now. Another great topic, premature ejaculation. Here's a cintas in this meme which sums up the topic. If you're having sex and you finish too fast, you might as well pick up her phone and text her girls about it yourself. We got sent in that meme during the week. I think that that is pretty true. Girl talk now back to Paul.

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Yeah, come on, the lad. More like it. Drink Tav Paul O'Connell tractors rain.

[00:15:24]

Paddy said I was just into your chat about drink driving and thought you might like the attached article from a newspaper in nineteen seventy four about the legal limits. It should give you a good laugh from Paddy, a proud man now living in Watford at the last 17 years. And I'm driving a bulk tanker collecting milk. So I meeting lots of fellows out there who could be an inspiration to the likes of Noel Furlong.

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Paddy, Why a real man?

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And the headline reads Violent Clashes in Dublin as 12. Driving Limit put in place on Ireland on the left and the lads day and said, My dad used to drink in Tom Meyer's pub in the eighties and nineties to pull whatever that didn't allow women in.

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As far as I remember, it was only open at lunchtime and maybe an hour or two after work did get in for a pint in the small one at home in time for dinner. It wasn't just women who weren't allowed in, it was very regulars only. I think if he didn't like to look at someone, he wouldn't serve them. They barely even talk to each other.

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There was a hand signal to order, as you might imagine. He stalked a very small range. He got a Cabonne with Guinness at some point and refused to stock it anymore.

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Yes, I'm assuming he had fallen out with Guinness.

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He had his own blend of whisky, and if you were in his good books, he might sell you a bottle to take home.

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Tom still had change on the shelf behind the bar that someone had forgotten in the 1970s, just in case they ever came back.

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There was a story about a lady I know who ran a hotel in Damaris. She dressed up as a man one time and tried the grinder, but she got rumbled.

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And about Tom's wife, Mary, she was very tall and she was, ah, he was very tall and she was tiny. I think she might have had to stand in a box, a box behind the barrier, but I might be imagining that. But apparently she was his housekeeper, but he married her because it was cheaper.

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And Panner then that's all allegedly there from Dana and it was just on a train. And allegedly that kind of covers more space on saving money.

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Eric had said, well, lads and more. I've been on a binge. Your podcast work a night shift in a petrol station.

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In county during lockdown, this one is a throwback to Episode 26 when Johnny B was talking about ways of saving money.

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Remember that I remember a lad who used to scrounge the bottom of the bar on the floor for spare change the drunk people would lose when opening their wallets and purses, order and drinks. The facher used to carry home with nearly more money than he would always blow.

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On the podcast from Eric K'iche.

[00:17:52]

There was a woman in Perlis, the astronauts, people on nights out. She'd cycle into town at around half, 2:00 in the morning and do laps at the square and outside all the pubs. And people said she's she cleans off the ground. Wow.

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Wonder if she make much, apparently. Oh, yeah.

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Maybe reckless with money that knows her identity. Surely a bit of a once in her life allegedly.

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Hashtag Save our chicken roll is the campaign that just keeps on rolling. Darren was in Tulchin says you may name and shame Apple Green and Paul Stone. Johnny seven year or 15 for chicken fill it rapert grilled cheese and taco sauce.

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Only one word for John.

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Oh gracious. How that's it yourself in the mirror.

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I won't sleep at night charging that Brooks Dunn said died on Stop That Center and the Mall on the Meynard Road in case I was so star and I was going all out regardless of the price chickenfeed. It rolled, I got letters, got red onions, taco sauce, Mike's combo. And to prove I was going all out, I got stuffing to Mad Men. Usually stuffing in taco sauce are extra, but not here for euro. I was charged unreal all hail the two Giannis for their dedication to the hashtag Save our chicken rolls cause you should be considered for a Nobel Peace Prize.

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Dan Thanks Dan. I agree.

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Yeah.

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The lobbyist for Chicken Rolls goes to Brian said I'm a carpenter was working in Moneygall last week. I popped into the White House a.k.a. Obama filling Station five Euro ninety five for a chicken funeral with cheese. It wasn't even a good one, he says. Hashtag tradesmen need feed.

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Outrageous fans can touch the Obama Plaza like get in touch with give it like release a statement to us and we can read it out and just be like, yeah, we've got, you know, a statement from Barack Obama himself.

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Defend yourselves. Yeah, you got it. Michelle Obama, she'll do another list and said, well, just a quick peace correspondence about the whole chicken roll campaign. Back when I was in sixth year, we'd head up the road some days for lunch to get a chicken federal. Normally, the rolls would cost about four euro fifty to a fiver. But because we were students in our uniforms, we'd get our all started for three year or ten cent, an absolute bargain.

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But after leaving secondary school, I was torn up to the higher pay bracket. Me being a stingy bastard. I hated this. So I had the bright idea to keep the old school jumper in the back of the car. Whenever I'd get a role at that garage, I'd still pay the lower price. It's a life hack that has served me well, saved my arse and loads of money, and I've been getting away with it for around two years.

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But one Sunday morning, after a fairly hefty night, I went in wearing the school jumper, not realizing it was a Sunday, was charged a fiver for my role. And to my disappointment, the garage got rid of the student deal shortly afterwards. However, this trick might come in handy still around the country. However, make sure you don't have an absolute mayor like me because it only works Monday to Friday and not during the summer holidays.

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We're not condoning that, but please do it. It's absolutely genius. Genius.

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When I was in school, we used to go to SUPERVALU in Korea and get roles and there was a woman at I don't know, she works there anymore. She's working behind the deli counter and like, she just charge you for the role. Didn't matter what you got in it. Well, I lads were getting outrageous stuff in roles like that.

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I get chicken oil and can you put three sausages and two rashers and wedges on as well. The roll will be around four kilos, you know.

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Yeah, and it didn't matter. All the 350 oh lads were just here and the business was expecting to get beef dinner on a roll.

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And finally Conor said, Hey lads, and the lovely Mohra. My name's Dara and I was in Floods Centera in Ram's grandson, only lecturer and a chicken will cost me three euro and it was very nice.

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We salute you Flood Centera in Rams Grange Keep it up Who's going to win the two Giannis podcast Mogador That is the big question That's sponsored by KC Sports where you can buy loads to Giannis Mirch more.

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Who do you like for the MCG.

[00:22:05]

The lads who kept his school uniform. It's a bit of a hero. Yeah he's he like forget we don't want the Nobel Prize for chicken rolls. Give it to that man. That's a lot of effort he's went into and so Mr School Jumper man you can contact.

[00:22:23]

Just email podcasts at the Tijani thought you had all your details and and you. We get the mortgage as soon as is humanly possible. Thank you. Now, the weekly roundup of what's been going on to Johnny's land Johnny Boy Show are still keeping the head down, keeping their head down, left down roots even run.

[00:22:39]

Yeah, just trying just to keep an above water level. Just two leads in the struggle. Yeah, it would just like to.

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Let's try and offload on water Saturday.

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Lad walking in cares of call it a day.

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Yeah. Very sad. Like if the singer wanted to leave they could have dropped your line showing me that I'd probably be adopted like I'm not you know.

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covid is you feeling. Yeah. That feeling pretty good. Got your vocals on maybe on a Sunday and Jeff.

[00:23:05]

And work work a treat that, wow, I don't see much of a difference, so we had to sketch out this week about Caribs new song Guap.

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Oh it's outrageous that the video do you know what I mean. Like people would be saying to us, like to watch what we do and how it seems to be.

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If you're American, it's OK, you can do that, do it like I'm going it. You know what mean really. On the next video, give the people what they want to tell you.

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Yeah, well, I'll probably get someone else to stunt double for it. Like Stone cock.

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Yeah, I get it.

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It's like CGI. We've got greens man. Big elephant joke. Yeah.

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We get like, you know on who edits the video.

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There's a big massive Vanning's dance around with a tape jersey on it or something.

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I don't know the African lives and all the memes. Yeah. Yeah he's sure we found out he's no there's not a lot on the video.

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Yeah. He's pushing boundaries because she actually has her baps out with two little like tassels or something on the end of her nipples. But if you don't show the nipple, you're OK. I think that's the rule that yeah.

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The world, you know, YouTube, Facebook, they have an issue with nipples. And what if you cover the rest of your body?

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You just showed the nipples trade off? I don't think so. Yeah. We didn't ask you. It was funny. I got a laugh. Oh, that's good. Good to be doing it. I'll sketch. We'll we'll try and pick out more in the next while.

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We've got a big announcement coming this Wednesday. Yeah.

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Watch the post as they say it. She can't believe it or not. I would say it the first time ever to update people on your managerial career.

[00:24:37]

Yep. Where we are now in the final. We won the semifinal during the week. People were messaging me, just saying, can I get, like, um, a couple of podcasts behind where are you into tonight? So you're going to tune in to find out, you know what I mean? It's big news. Carolyn's back.

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We're in the final moments. I can't take mine or be like, hey, whoa, doesn't matter. Let her know. That's as simple as that. They're great, great bunch. But like, you know, they're not of drinking age, a lot of them.

[00:25:01]

And obviously with, you know, lockdown guidelines, it's it's it's a pity you might you might win something and then not be able to say, oh, well, I celebrate myself. Sink party ends my dance around the kitchen, a meal.

[00:25:15]

Thanks to everybody who has signed up to our extra podcast is out on Thursdays with lots of extra crack and mayhem. This week we were chatting about cosmetic surgery and it was very entertaining. Find out what we've had done. We were chatting on our new segment around the town and we were chatting to our favorite managed care, the legendary baby bash. And we asked him what the popular drinks when he started his career as a bar man twenty six years ago.

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Not a butler happens to be a good thing back in in times now Butler have a butler happens a powerful dunk.

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But I'm for what if I was doing the Irish version of Stella Artois Kosen after some stuff bottling up bottles of Phoenix, bottles of McAdoo's drinks in bars of course.

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Yeah, but I was always drinking the bottles of Guinness. I used to drink a bit of whiskey now and again, but I had to give that up with the gasket and take a look at it.

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It's awful stuff. That was the man who invented whisky, had no intention of drinking it.

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Some of us learn to drive in a field. Some of us learn to drive with our motor screaming at us to keep out of the ditch. With this in mind, we've decided to discuss Irish driving habits. Are we obsessed with getting behind the wheel here in Ireland?

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It's a big thing in here in Ireland. If you live in that country, you have to drive or else you have to have loads of friends and they're just going to hate you.

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Don't be one of those people that don't drive and expect the lift everywhere. You know who you are.

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No, I don't want no scrubs hanging out the passenger side of my best friend's ride trying to holler at me online.

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Yeah, won't work. Get your own car.

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Roll your eyes to TLC, get your own gear and left it open.

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Yeah, she thought she might.

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She didn't ever pass the test test. Yeah. Although I did notice one time with the doctor at one a.m. the doctor and he said, look out the window.

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You see the fence over there. I said, yeah. And he said, how many runs down is there on it. I was like four good men.

[00:27:28]

That's the test. Parata I couldn't believe it.

[00:27:36]

Just 50 percent talking about driver's licenses in Ireland.

[00:27:44]

Right. The latest stats we could get was twenty sixteen twenty seventeen two point eight million driving licences held in Ireland, but a quarter of a million were palmier learner permits, right? Yeah, and there is six and a half thousand people on their eleventh permits.

[00:28:05]

There are 11 players like, you know, come on, you got to be passing the test by then. Yeah, I like. But they've been lucky because they obviously don't just do that 12 lessoning because they've had their learner's permit.

[00:28:19]

So along the way you have to do a test every two years and they can't just keep get permits. Oh yeah. Yeah I know. I tried and failed and tried to do that in the beginning and I was, I was trying to train it.

[00:28:30]

That's the law, you know. I mean, it was like you have to play for your test and I apply.

[00:28:34]

And soon as I get the letter to say, ah, you played, I just consider this, let's keep kicking it. Oh yeah, I've done it for a while and then like had to take the test and I was like, oh, I didn't think I'd have to take it. And then two days before the test I was like, shit, I'm going to take this test. And I rang up their local fellow who done the driving lessons.

[00:28:51]

And I was like, Well, John, I'm I've got a test coming up there. I must get a lesson or something. He was like, Oh, yeah, Graham, when is it like do you know how many lessons you want? Four or six. I was like, no, no.

[00:29:02]

To test the test Monday. Saturday. No, I said, yeah, I only want one lesson like and he was like, you won't pass the test. You don't mean you won't, you won't pass the test.

[00:29:12]

And I was like, ah yeah sure. Look I have to do it anyway. He was like, look, I'll meet you there today and I'll give you a lesson.

[00:29:19]

So this was unlike I think it was a Saturday rang and I gave him a lesson.

[00:29:23]

He'd give me a lesson. Wait, listen, I at last. Right, I give him a lesson. Yeah, but don't the lesson or whatever. And I was a bag of nerves because like I didn't know you do have to stuff. Yeah. And then he was like, well I'll give you another lesson tomorrow. Yeah. And then he cancelled that lesson and then he was like, look, I'll give you a lesson right before the test.

[00:29:40]

Yeah. So right before the test, literally the hour before I done my second ever driving test and I went in and passed the test.

[00:29:48]

Now some people say it was my driving. It was the fact that my test was scheduled right before lunch.

[00:29:52]

Yeah. And the driving instructor said to me, you've got great time. He was like, this will be a miracle if you passed on. And he was like, but you've got a good time, I swear to God, into the car with the driver lad chatting to him. I just kept chatting to them. So like it would take away from the fact I was a nervous wreck and that we were driving around doing the reverse around the corner, all that kind of stuff.

[00:30:12]

And erm we're heading back towards the centuries ahead back to Test Centre and I was just never going to start.

[00:30:17]

Yeah. And we're on a straight and off road near the centre and. Yeah.

[00:30:20]

And he was like oh pulling they're pulling side road indicate whatever pull in. He was like no take off again. Yeah right.

[00:30:29]

Granddad still started cos I knew at that moment I'm passing this test like it got back.

[00:30:36]

He man jogged in from the car into the office like he was mad to go and launch. George didn't like signed all the papers so. Yeah well done Fairplay. I got one metric for driving too slow and I was in James.

[00:30:47]

That was a pass the test later. Yeah.

[00:30:50]

Some DNA test me and tests and got to do with driving. Haven't went well for me. Like I mean I messed up meteorologist's.

[00:30:56]

Well how did you miss everything. Turn up a week early.

[00:31:01]

Oh well I was in college in Waterford at the time and he booked me test down there and I was like I just got on wonder.

[00:31:07]

There's like whatever I knew was a Tuesday and I convinced myself that it was like this Tuesday. So I went down and I'm standing outside like the office in Waterford and there was no lights on or anything like this place was closed.

[00:31:18]

And I was like, OK, let me watch. What's the story here like? I mean, crack the test, I went back and I had to walk, obviously, I had nowhere to walk back to Manor Village and then like, got my laptop and say, oh, shoot, next Tuesday. And then the sudden thing hit me.

[00:31:33]

I was like, oh, next week's ragweed. Oh.

[00:31:36]

So, like, I, I went in to choose the morning after the after like the first night ragweed. Yeah. And I was stinking off the place, I was hammered in there and at four lads waiting in the office for me.

[00:31:46]

So there's like ten people sitting on a computer doing that. And the boys were like langers only the office way and deteriorates. Took me 16 minutes. You can leave after 15. I had done in 16 and I got to run. Got it. Got it. Like got past past. You know, I had practiced a shit over like beforehand but like this half Langer's and pasta tastes like some chance. Yeah sure.

[00:32:06]

I went off to sort of get everything your arms that you passed.

[00:32:10]

I was like, oh underbosses out the door. And so I had to go back down in like an hour later. I'm like, sorry, you have got me sort of me and me and any form of driving test I you can talk shit Yubari.

[00:32:21]

There you go. I got a few driving lessons. I have another man in care at the great Jimmy Barclay or Jimmy Butler affectionately known as Jimmy F and Butler. Because you always Carson. Yeah, I pulled up to a round of come in and he had a piece of paper and he just drew around about was like Ryan O'Brien. If you want to go left you go on the left right and you run the ball straight. You on the left, right.

[00:32:40]

And if you go on writing, all right, it's not that fucking difficult, right?

[00:32:46]

I was like, oh, sound.

[00:32:47]

Yeah, well, I was he just kept saying, you're not a man, strong man. So, like, I pull off at the traffic lights and he's like, can you see that he is an accountant. Yeah.

[00:32:55]

And I was like, no, you. Because you're too lost, you know what I mean? You can see the wheels, you're OK. You're not a man.

[00:33:00]

And that's all I swear to God. And every time he said it, I'd be just smiling like I had a fear like that when I went in for the second lesson, because I said that to everyone, the weekend is that you make you like, you know, it's gas man. And he's lovely fella. Some crackling. I want to drive less. I just want to chat Tom Cruise around the town with a man and he just kept a journal.

[00:33:17]

And then I said, it's so. And they're like, yeah, I've got lessons. Well, I lost the end. I swear to God, I went in for a lesson for the test and he said, like, I shouldn't be too bad, you know what, I'm in.

[00:33:26]

And then I nearly brought the car off for a store. But that's not even a stupid one. Like, you don't drive like that.

[00:33:33]

As one of our friends who's a mechanic put to a driving test, stupid, going to drive around like a freak for a half an hour, spin the tires, then on the way out, as in like you're you're her only two hands on the wheel feeding the wheel and all this mad stuff. That's what you should be doing.

[00:33:48]

Then you pass is like open two wheels going around roundabout, like, you know, whatever.

[00:33:52]

It doesn't it doesn't make sense more. Did you have a normal learning to drive experience?

[00:33:59]

No. Uh, well, I grew up in a farm when we farm jeep. So that was you know, if I wanted to drive around in the land, that was grand. And then when I started going to the road, I went at once, thought my dad. And I think about fifteen minutes into it, we both realized that this was a bad idea.

[00:34:18]

So after that I was like, oh, I just learned myself though. And this is when you could drive unaccompanied is the learner driver. So I spent about six months on, three months, you know, just going up as far as third gear.

[00:34:31]

And after that I was kind of a year of their marriage, like, what's the story with firm?

[00:34:37]

Like, you can't get a license in Ireland and you're like seventeen farmers with nine years of age trying to combine. What's the story. Yeah, she quad bikes and all that.

[00:34:46]

Well yeah. See when you're sixteen you can get a lahmar learner's permit to drive a tractor and you can still drive unaccompanied and it doesn't specify what, you know, the horsepower of the tractor.

[00:34:58]

So you could be dry like, you know, driving, you know, a 200 like a mark of Massey Ferguson. And you only, you know, just after finishing the Jacir.

[00:35:10]

Yeah. Bit mad.

[00:35:11]

Yeah, it's crazy. And I credit the parents who do actually try and teach the kids how to drive like very difficult multimember like this is illegal. And I'm just going to say before on before like, you know, the standard just this might not be true, but it is my mother just took me out to like the monastery that we've spoken about before that they're boarding school.

[00:35:31]

Yeah. It's got like loads of roads around it. And that's just where I learned to drive. Just got in the mimzy. Yeah. And I was gonna drive to parents all over Karen.

[00:35:39]

She's like child screaming grab mine.

[00:35:42]

And that's basically how I learned. And then at Nightmare, very sorry. I'm going to admit this at night I used to wait till she fell asleep and I would take the handbrake off our Cetron Picasso, which I just just like, say it's a people carrier and not not, you know, the sexy thing to be driving around town.

[00:35:59]

It is a mammy wagon. Yeah.

[00:36:00]

And were you carrying, like the UNDERRATES soccer team in the back of your mind, you was carrying something else, but, um, I'd wait until she was asleep and we'll push the car like like a like a rugby scrum out the driveway.

[00:36:13]

We just put Karen Newton. Yeah. Push it and push it another bit down the road and then jump in and just started like so she wouldn't hear it. The engines definitely. Yeah. And levitating around town in. She will have a clue caravaning Samana notes petrolist. So you've got a Lekman. Yeah, so wrong with that.

[00:36:30]

You want to get that looked at? Where are you getting your picture? Sweet. Must be are don't you know.

[00:36:34]

And you can get your learner's permit to drive a car at age 17. However, you can get your learner's permit, drive a tractor, as Mara said at 16 and on a company.

[00:36:42]

What lands in Canada in the state of Alberta, you can get your learner's permit at 14 and you need a fully licensed driver in the front passenger seat in South Dakota and the United States.

[00:36:54]

You can also apply for a learner's permit at 14 years of age.

[00:36:59]

However, until 16, you can't drive between 10:00 at night and six o'clock in the morning.

[00:37:05]

That's that is insane. A 14 year old I can't ride a bicycle barely when I was 14. You know, nighttime driving is tricky. Yeah, but like I'm saying, any sort of driving when you're 14 should be completely banned. Canadair, you are you're a wild. You're very well.

[00:37:19]

A few spots are on alert and where you want to be doing your driving test. Rajini in Dublin is the most difficult thing. Only about 40 percent passing. And then the easiest is Clifton and Galway with 72 percent passing. Oh, that's got to be a lot of people flying there off the cliffs.

[00:37:33]

Generally, it's about 50 50. Can we get into. Yeah, you're getting into it.

[00:37:39]

When we were chatting about this topic, we went a little bit off the map because something took our imagination. And it's something that when we were growing up was a big deal. And that was by racer's. Yes, right. So a lot of people in Ireland corton where to get a license so you could buy some shit boxcar law and put a body kit on it and just drive around town like the one thing Johnny talking about boy racers. The first thing that came to my mind was like in in Rusko particularly.

[00:38:10]

Boy, racers would be driving the car, and I swear to God, you won't know who's driving it, because all that would be visible was a peek at the car, like the front driver's seat or so far back there were literally horizontal. And you just see four fingers on the top of the steering wheel and the calf just standing off a fella's head. And that was it. It's like, wow, a floating kneecap is driving it, driving a Mitsubishi starlet or whatever the tinted windows are.

[00:38:38]

The allies will be worth more than the car.

[00:38:40]

Yeah, you'd you'd have paid 85 grand in insurance.

[00:38:46]

I was talking to one of our friends who said he had a Toyota 11 and he had Lamborghini doors on it when he was in school.

[00:38:53]

On a what?

[00:38:54]

On a Toyota Levit Lamborghini door? No.

[00:39:00]

Would be driving like I that insurance was the thing like. So, you know, to be like a 65 year old woman ringing Maxygen. Yeah. How how's it going? I want to insure, like, Lansat Turbo.

[00:39:15]

Yeah. Can I get my son's name on it as well. Everyone's mom was driving an integral.

[00:39:23]

What was the deal with it like.

[00:39:24]

I didn't glass' had money delay. I was talking to a lad who said that he would put it down as like a one liter and it would be like a tutee or turbo, you know. So he said if he ever did have an accident, he wouldn't have been insured because they would have found out if he ever did it. And he said, even Atash, the insurance was like five grand. He was like, I was paying like a hundred quid a week to not be insured.

[00:39:50]

That's I'm like, but I do know, is it because of the Celtic Tiger? People had more money and like the Lord's like doing apprenticeships. Soon as you got your first year apprentice wages, it was like, let's play a Corolla or a golf.

[00:40:06]

Yeah. A point of no return inch off the ground.

[00:40:10]

Get those xenon balls in it, like would be absolutely wise. The guards would stop you every time you passed that. Like, you know, the big thing like that I can understand is like if you're going to like, you know, be a boy racer, get a fast car, you know, like go for it. But you see, the thing was that driveline, like Paulose and I remember seeing a Nissan Micra, we'd like a full body kit on it and for three days, for 30 days is hanging over.

[00:40:38]

And I was like, there were more than that Micra like and then and then like the noise in a micro.

[00:40:42]

So your man puts it in first gear like bar. He's going on eight mile an hour, like the car is like basically a hairdryer on wheels.

[00:40:50]

I think people say the idea was that at first you didn't have much money and you bought a cheap car and if it had a small engine, you were bringing down the cost of the insurance. So it was cheaper to insure. And then you attempt within that insurance practice. Oh, that's crazy.

[00:41:05]

Like there was such a scene of, like young lads in their late teens, early 20s, like just sitting in car parks, just chatting, like nowadays I didkovsky all over.

[00:41:14]

Well, you can't do not illegal.

[00:41:16]

Yeah, but young lads sitting around in fancy cars, let's think about it. Rings a few bells. But lads, the reason you got cars I was firda because one 100 percent friend of ours said he got a car Whuffie Bora Bora.

[00:41:33]

Yeah.

[00:41:33]

But it was like some sort of TPIMs for this was just coming out kind of, I would say of the boy race or like so in peak by race or you probably go through a phase. It's like lansat, you know, starless all these at Civic if you're if you're right, bad fella. And then into like a Borat or something like that.

[00:41:52]

Yeah.

[00:41:53]

And he said when he got the car and he joined Facebook, his DMS were like, no fucking one's looking to go for a spin more out.

[00:42:03]

When you were 19, would you have been impressed by, you know, a blue Subaru Impreza spoiler and called Ally and the fella driving it who definitely had an eyebrow piercing? Yeah, I actually think the eyebrow piercing comes free with every glenzer.

[00:42:23]

Daphne Nah. Because you be like there's no way you can go over the bog road, not you'll leave half of the time.

[00:42:30]

I remember that Australia we used to go to the cinema and they'd give me a lift over cinema.

[00:42:37]

What he couldn't park in the underground car park of the car, go down the ramp to such a body in the background a mile away and the cinema with any kind of oh my God, it was definitely a thing though.

[00:42:53]

Sometimes we're just into cars.

[00:42:55]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then some lads were kind of like PlayStation enthusiasts who didn't really know what they were buying.

[00:43:00]

Yeah.

[00:43:00]

They really into need for speed and they got the Paris games, but it was, I guess it was innocent enough, you know, like a fella spending money and do not care. He could be spent. It unversed like in in their defense, like our allies are just into good cars and they like change in and super not like I like when I was in school ahead of us.

[00:43:18]

Let's just because you didn't have a car. Yeah. And I had had a burn at the time and like then this fellow got out, got a car and it was like not even that Pinto but it was a golf. Yeah.

[00:43:29]

And I was like, oh shit. And then like he couldn't even drive it. Right. Because he wasn't 70.

[00:43:34]

What's he doing with his people would just go and sit in the car outside his house.

[00:43:41]

But he probably had a bedroom.

[00:43:43]

Yeah, you had a front room. So he had a house like, you know, his parents had a house, but they'd all sit in the car and like, my my my missus at the time will be going home, sitting in the car. And I was like, she's going to leave me. And I swear to God, Eric and I carried that with me.

[00:43:55]

And around 10 years later, you know, around six, seven years later when I bought my first cannonball golf, and I reckon it was just to fill a void, that I was still hurt from another 16 because I swear to God, they'd be down sitting in his car and like, you know, sitting in it from around the corner, from 100 meters away, you'd hear be just sitting in the car and he'd be playing like Bobby Jr. or, you know, come with me, especially, you know, that you walk there, there such bad times.

[00:44:28]

I have compiled a list here thanks to our Instagram followers of the ultimate boy racer list of cars. So listeners, let us know if I've missed any here.

[00:44:39]

TAIONE 11, Klans Turbo, Honda Integra type car, Civic Silico a three or six G.T. and Nissan Skyline with body car that's full full on Harrity bookshelf.

[00:44:51]

Toyota Altez at Nissan Sylvere s one for a Lexus is two hundred Toyota Corolla twin can twin cam for Laitman and Nissan one eighty six at Toyota Enmore to 1992 spec Apollo more to the bollix.

[00:45:10]

I know you take a polo off that lessler. I would like your granny Dreiser Paula.

[00:45:15]

Yeah but I would like Lord. She is going to do the shopping one of the way. Said he got a poodle and he had it lowered to about an inch off the ground and he had the lights on and you know, like light underneath the car and and then you get the the awkward exhaust and boom. And he said he thought he was a rocket. And one day he was going home and his father overtook him in the transition.

[00:45:42]

Maybe a Mitsubishi Colt, obviously the golfs as they got scooped up and then the blue Subaru Impreza and Schneid was talking to us from London. She said in London, the car of choice was the psytrance Saxl, VTR all you wanted to buy a Citroen off my first car just because of Gavin and Stacey.

[00:46:00]

He had a saxophone. Yeah.

[00:46:02]

And I remember just after the Gulf, I bought an Astra nice conservative car. He back. Yeah, pettifogging would have been proud, but I the one I bought just came with like there was a bought any or whatever and I was driving home and I was like what's that switched on with a lighter. I was like what is that like.

[00:46:19]

And I was half afraid to say What is it anyway. Next in the blue, neon lights are turning on like down at my feet inside to Charolette.

[00:46:28]

And I was like, oh, what if I had this before me?

[00:46:31]

Like, that's cool. But a crack. Yeah, but like, not for me. I was like buying it to get to work and stuff, like I'd grown up at this stage. Yeah.

[00:46:37]

And then I thought not no. But never turned them on again.

[00:46:40]

When I went for the NCT and failed the act because they were DERIDDER So I came home and ripped the wire over myself.

[00:46:46]

I say, oh, it's going to cost me the price of retests, pasta, pasta the second time in a row.

[00:46:51]

Yeah, well, it made it worse for the day.

[00:46:54]

Hahn stopped working on his golf and he tried to put in a light switch like you'd have inside your sitting room a light switch. And every time you pressed the down and off, the horn would go off.

[00:47:04]

Yeah, we you know, we haven't even touched in half the driving. So if we want we just got completely sidetracked by bike, by racers. But give us your boy racer correspondence.

[00:47:14]

Yeah, Maura was by racing big around your town or were you ever like a girl racer?

[00:47:19]

And I would have been the I used to drive the farm jeep, so I was never cool, but yeah.

[00:47:28]

Yeah, it was kind of handy because you could pick up a load of lads and you go off driving somewhere.

[00:47:38]

Sounds ominous when.

[00:47:43]

Oh it's just, it's just not cool like, you know, hurling team to boot.

[00:47:49]

Yeah I know it was um you know it was there are only two seats in the front and in the back will be where the sheepdogs were. So people be getting into this and the calf notes and the smell of wet dog and.

[00:48:03]

Oh it's just. Yeah but ma I, I there's no way your dad's. Could ever compare to the vehicle Johnny B had when we started the two journeys, he had white Sitaram Berlinguer and I swear to God I'm fairly sure there was a family living in the back of it.

[00:48:21]

Did it was dirty if you wanted to open the back door like so when we started doing gigs, we were like small, local, like, you know, we'd rock up to get flophouse, but we had all the gear. So we were a one stop shop.

[00:48:33]

We'd entertain yo, yo, yo, all in. So we used to buy the gear into the berlinguer. And if you wanted all the back door, there was a coat hanger attached to a piece of string. It was wire wire to get it right.

[00:48:48]

It was attached it to the back door to cover it so we'd be in the passenger seat like talking to this must be something we're outside the venue like Chatterji in these last few bov at the time, like we would later. And he's outside wrestling with this Oita or and get the back door of one day.

[00:49:09]

There's like sledgehammers in it.

[00:49:10]

There's all sorts of people will know there's a little blue slip in the handle at the back door. Berling goes and it tends to go right.

[00:49:19]

What you want me to do, it's brilliant. I actually I have a word that we need to need you to get rid of this white van. Rucking authorities do an interview and dig what baringo we're like.

[00:49:29]

The trailer is going great. I'm so grateful to God be with the lads who used to do it and the money on allies, on the alterable cars that have the dump valve sort of when you change gears it got more drilling holes in exhaust.

[00:49:46]

Make it sound ba very creative but that scene is kind of going away a bit now. Yeah.

[00:49:52]

People are getting more conservative now and everybody's newer cars.

[00:49:56]

No more people in college, they're not hanging on town like as much as you know what if you're actually working now, you're down in the country and particularly in rural, it's if you really look down upon if you don't have a car like.

[00:50:09]

Yes, you kind of have to be independent. Yeah, you're carrying your independence like so if you're not country. Yeah, it's quite important. Quite important.

[00:50:16]

We haven't even I think we need to come back to driving at another time.

[00:50:19]

And this podcast, I always wanted to get a civic norm. And you're far from a civic I'm not a raver sort of different scenes like. Yeah, no civic. No. You had to have some sort of facial Peerson here.

[00:50:31]

Then if you're if you're a bit partial, like you might have had like a Goth, you know. Yeah, I know the one I bought my first car that golf was a standard diesel. I swear to God at all times. I'll have to bow out of the push it up inside. You run faster.

[00:50:45]

Honestly, I thought it was totally a flawed and terrible goal, a thought where if you had money, you might have had an evil.

[00:50:52]

But like you're king ding a ling. Now, if you had me am I got one of them in Dublin. He was stopped eight times in the first day by the cops.

[00:51:01]

So this is such a random subject.

[00:51:04]

We reckon that the boy racer scene is kind of dying away. And if you agree or if you disagree, let us know there. Still big meet's going on and Ladds Driftin let us know what the crack is.

[00:51:16]

BSF like. Oh yeah, my insurance was the big thing and they killed it but yeah insurance has gone up. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:51:24]

Listen if you're, if you were by race or IRA by race or a girl racer. Yeah. You know. Ah you were one of the girls who were getting picked up at lunchtime by these lads, you know going on dates, driving in cars with boys. Let us know, let it's not all your boy race are related correspondence. We can't wait.

[00:51:42]

Last week he was laying low because of difficulties with the department and Paddy Fong admirably filled the slot. Who knows what's about to happen next? It's possibly time for Noel Furlong and it's possibly time for North News.

[00:51:57]

No news. And you know what, it's good to have you back. Yep, I never thought I'd say it.

[00:52:11]

You know, Patty, Patty did a great job he was in last week. Yeah. Telling tales about me. Oh, he done some job. Yeah. Yeah. Tell stories you couldn't even tell, was he?

[00:52:20]

Well, look, I did shoot Mr. Dwyer. Yes.

[00:52:26]

OK, now she was in her own yard technically. But let's not split hairs here. I only Nektar. OK, well that's good. I thought she was cruel. You know, black hair epeat. This would be cruel. Yeah.

[00:52:41]

Well, you know, OK, look, the undercut Dwyre is getting to boxing on the telly and I couldn't be listened to her.

[00:52:48]

I had to get her out of the house. OK, boys, night Betty crack. You know, a few large men being men chat right now. Maybe shooting his wife was too far. What am I what am I, Oprah? How how did the waiter take charge?

[00:53:08]

I didn't tell him you have enough water. You know what I mean? Saltbox. Yeah, crack is crack cocaine and crack. Never enough to see the big storm.

[00:53:19]

Yeah. Wicked. You didn't go ahead. I didn't try. I did. I heard it was not on fast talk or whatever. You wouldn't see if you didn't have big Zuki nipples on it.

[00:53:33]

And it was a bad wind. Yeah, it was bad. There was a lot of damage done. Very serious bad wind don't even a lot of timber.

[00:53:41]

And when he woke up the next morning, he was all of my shit blew it. It had bad wind. Then Brian went into town to shop and he got blown into the Bridgeboro.

[00:53:52]

Well, hopefully he was gonna come and try and get back.

[00:54:00]

He trying to get Bluejuice. Are you trying to get Bluetooth for the phone, OK?

[00:54:06]

I'm all for it, but when I said if you're going that far as we get a good bit, going to get a nice piece. And we're going to have to educate you. And I sent Funt in last week to tell you about Islamic militants taking over a port in Mozambique. I remember I only gave 10 minutes talking about a dog run.

[00:54:31]

He no more intention of building a dog room.

[00:54:33]

And, you know, I mean, I haven't heard from him since. That's best. But are you surprised?

[00:54:38]

No, no, I thought that far.

[00:54:40]

People were like, oh, wait a minute. Paddy found Dumont is not I said from wrong said said he wouldn't be around then he wouldn't be here.

[00:54:51]

Help me out. He sent me to drive. Yeah. Pettifogging once drove to the Amazon.

[00:54:57]

A fact. No. Yeah. Anyway, that's how I hear you.

[00:55:06]

Yeah. Ho ho.

[00:55:08]

He fucking Florida you has put their foot down and then.

[00:55:15]

Uh huh oh. Would you believe when when I was young would you believe he was very talented at the plumbing. Was he. Yeah. Even his young friend. He'd kind of a natural Graw for plumbing and some people say he could have gone pro..

[00:55:33]

Yeah, well look, things didn't go his way. Yeah. One minute you're there piping hot, press word at your feet next to it all the way. He could hit it on his own, ran a pipe bender, just one wrench and his diction got to burum as well. His addiction, the D. Drink driving one. One time he was driving to a job in portaledge know, and one day he just kept going.

[00:56:10]

He just kept driving. We found him five days later at Minehead, naked drinking. I think we all knew he would if he got back.

[00:56:26]

Well, from the latest now run by news.

[00:56:34]

Yes, flees North Korea. Age is answered firmly. Nobody goes. Nobody goes there. Nobody really knows what's going on.

[00:56:43]

And they might have nukes. OK, from my town council, what are you doing with the money you owe? You can prove for me I didn't have nukes. Exactly, a cousin of mine, a cousin of mine, went to family once, left his jacket there, and he had to go back. And that's for my it just keeps pulling you back.

[00:57:13]

How does he do that? How does he do that now? The supreme ruler for my Kim Jong un, he's career North Korea, the supreme ruler, for my part, if that's true, nobody dies.

[00:57:32]

No one is a felon for my card. Petty and he have a lot of flights and they call him petty farts. And then his brother Mick owns a lot of houses and, you know, they call him a man Basters.

[00:57:48]

The news is now North Korea has been a one man show for a long time, like the rovers for five or nine Lannigan Fast I some rules with him, did you? He was slippery as rotor blades that no one time he gave me Brother Frank and until he gave them an awful bad wallop right now, I drove out to ball.

[00:58:11]

And then when I turned around, there he was. Gonne. Murtha got. That night, I went to his house, I was all dressed in black Brami cap.

[00:58:35]

And I abducted his paid cash, clearly in cash, and I gave that card to a child and child credit card would love. And care. And handle, and he hit that cash from the mean parents by concealing cash in their underpants and Akhaten to try and run away and live together in the woods for many years. And the cat grew strong and a child learned the ways of the forest, eating mice, sleeping in trees. And as a result, that child can now speak to cats and that child grow up to be Clint Eastwood star.

[00:59:18]

In fact, that is obscure lannigan.

[00:59:23]

It was me.

[00:59:24]

I took your cat, North Korea.

[00:59:29]

We separated the rest of Korea after the Second World War to Soviet Rennert and the Yanks ran South Korea, which is possibly why South Korea has so many boy bands and North Korea smells of carrots and noses.

[00:59:49]

The supreme leader has allowed his sister to start the.

[00:59:54]

You can't do it on your own now. Her name is Kim Yo Jong. So in North Korea, the second name comes first. And in our house, the wife comes first. I was listening to your topic, Maureen.

[01:00:08]

I'm very good at Kim Jong un now has more responsibility to run the country, but she could be just a fall guy. You know, if he thinks something is about to go wrong, he puts her in and it goes wrong and then she gets to boot. Right. I did this with the under team. People were wondering why did I step down and make insane David manager?

[01:00:36]

Now, I had been using my patented fitness training, which was, of course, the young lads bringing my turf back from the bog back to Pattenden, but in a tragic turn of events.

[01:00:49]

Didn't Dermot also want his done?

[01:00:54]

So I volunteered down to for him where our whole and all night started to rain around 2:00 in the morning. So finally, with the following day, I stepped down.

[01:01:07]

I cited work life balance is the reason the young lads got back in saying Dave took the flak, your DPI couldn't Weygand field very flat performance, whatever he said to him.

[01:01:21]

I came back the following year. The Messiah, the Messiah is back on his back bike.

[01:01:26]

So why do they call him insane, Dave? Yes. Yes.

[01:01:32]

Well, he was vegetarian.

[01:01:36]

This was the 90s and this was the 90s.

[01:01:41]

I think it's then Dave Schultz should make an appearance.

[01:01:45]

So keep an eye on North Korea and we will see. Does the woman's touch help matters or will she get the boot?

[01:01:54]

A local news?

[01:01:55]

Yes, she needed help and is after having a baby, we wanted to call it by 11 pounds a while of mints is what I gave her.

[01:02:11]

I went present at the baby governments, you know, all of our family.

[01:02:19]

As soon as we were born, Mammy did. And Mince makes you strong.

[01:02:24]

And many experts believe this is the reason my brother Joe cannot be killed by conventional weapons.

[01:02:36]

I shot him a couple of times.

[01:02:39]

Just caffeine, just CAFOD, you know, but he always bounced back.

[01:02:50]

I don't believe in baby food. No, of gotta watch it. Baby food. So nobody knows it to be careful, given, you know, it's Chinese food, because my brother Joe, he got hooked and means if he doesn't get it, he gets checks he have to add to have mints.

[01:03:09]

Right. I want some trash, a restaurant because they put sauce in his man. So he'd go to rehab.

[01:03:16]

Yeah, but I am happy to say he's making great progress. And earlier this year he ate a burger. Wow. Yes. We are hoping soon he will eat the bun.

[01:03:28]

What will be called baby. Yes. Well, not everyone in that family is known as Chriqui. It was our Chriqui young Chriqui, many Chriqui, she wanted to hairdressers, handsome Crickey and Sinister Chriqui when he had funny eyes.

[01:03:44]

You never know why do you think? Yeah, sexy Chriqui.

[01:03:48]

He'd always had the hair done because posti creeky. She runs the Bingo and Intercon in this one. So welcome to town Dave.

[01:04:02]

That is the local news.

[01:04:04]

I'll go.

[01:04:06]

OK, now I must go. I want to give Dan a hand on Lordan WTO and it's a big job.

[01:04:12]

That's a big job. Good luck all out.

[01:04:17]

She got some strange looks from her father this week when he heard her sing. And there's some holes in this house, some holes in this house. What is your mystery topic?

[01:04:27]

Hey, before we get to the mystery topic, you want me to tell you the Gerry Adams story?

[01:04:31]

Yes, please. OK, this is a true story, by the way. So one time Gerry Adams was in a helicopter and amidst a really bad mishap. And so the helicopter had to make an emergency landing. And where did the helicopter handler happen to land on the pitch and put a golf course on it?

[01:04:54]

So obviously, they had to like, you know, park the helicopter there for a while while the mist cleared. They had no idea where they were.

[01:05:04]

And so the nearest building to where the helicopter Habtoor was parked was the parochial house. So up Gerry Adams and his pilot went knocked on the door. Father, father, both men gave him a cup of tea.

[01:05:19]

He he rang the local Sinn Fein councillor just to say, oh, Gerry Adams is here. I think Father Cotton was a bit unsure, you know, what to do.

[01:05:30]

So he was like, well, just get local councillor, don't keep him company. But somehow it got out in the village grapevine that Gerry Adams was in the parochial hat.

[01:05:41]

So this lady who was, you know, slightly there, you know, you know, a little bit away with the fairies, rang up the parochial house and asked to be put on the phone to Gerry Adams so she could give a shit about the state of the roads.

[01:05:55]

So, oh, my, she was a good 15 minutes on the phone to Gerry, and he hung up the call and then he turned to the police and he goes, that is a bit like Craggy Island, isn't it? So that's brilliant. Like Gerry hasn't been back since.

[01:06:12]

I wonder why this is Gerry Adams was caught in a kind of old Mikhailov situation like, you know, Saturday night where they all here get them away.

[01:06:22]

I hadn't really thought about that last one.

[01:06:27]

OK, moving on, my mystery topic this week is a question and Cmax. You're considering getting a little pooch, a little doggie.

[01:06:35]

The question is, would you let your pet sleep in the bed now? You know, hygiene and all that, I've looked it up OK, Pat Me says this website says that you can sleep with your dog. It's perfectly safe as long as you're both healthy. It says that pet experts have long advised that pet parents not to sleep with their dogs or cats for two main reasons. It promotes poor behavior in the animal and could lead to serious illness in humans.

[01:07:05]

But many vets now believe these concerns are overstated or just incorrect.

[01:07:10]

However, another website IT consultant says that if you let your dog sleep in the bed, you run the risk of contracting staph infections, parasite and also exacerbating your allergies.

[01:07:25]

Now, one study did find that it was actually for people who let the dogs sleep in the bedroom, not necessarily in the bed, but they did sleep better.

[01:07:36]

It was just the comfort thing that they had.

[01:07:38]

So reason this came into my head is that I let my dog sleep in the bed for the first time. Well, Jody, I let her sleep in the bed and she was grand. She was perfectly. But then after it's a bit like, oh, I don't know.

[01:07:52]

I did try Lactaid my other dog and sleep in the bed once. And he was having none of it.

[01:07:59]

And he kind of got up after half an hour and walked across my front face and like tea bagged me in the face right outside now.

[01:08:08]

But I think it's kind of a big stickler in the relationship, you know. Hmm. Can get jiggy if the dog is. Oh, I would.

[01:08:17]

You know, we haven't actually we obviously haven't got the dog yet, but we do have a cat and there's no way I'd let the cat sleep in the bed like an absolute ninja. Can't have your eyes out in your sleep and be eating them the next morning, like. But I've often the cats often come in the window like Ambien, been on the bed. And then like we we wash the sheets.

[01:08:36]

Really, because you don't read a cat's been like and quite similar with the dog.

[01:08:41]

If I got a dog daunting I'd let sleep in the bed. First of all, what breaks my it depends what type of dog it is a sport because those dogs that shed haired old man are really hairy, like no way deskin.

[01:08:53]

I suffer with hay fever. I'd be lying in the bed like five minutes in a dog that bites.

[01:08:58]

But I just think it's unhygienic or cannonballs, balls and shit.

[01:09:02]

Like honestly our neighbor's dog eats his own shit so you don't let him intimidate.

[01:09:06]

You did. I'm expecting an email from him next week to be read out to the dog.

[01:09:16]

If you're going to sleep with your dog more, you know, like listen to the messages we've got in.

[01:09:21]

Make sure neither of you catches feelings about having a dog in your room. Is there something he'd have a dog? Yeah. I wonder how a man like temperature wise you'd have to open a window. I'd never let a dog sleep in my dog's myself to be here.

[01:09:39]

Yeah. Yeah, he is. He is here. He's not allowed.

[01:09:41]

Go upstairs and he knows it. This he I let him into the house now march. That's my definition. He comes in at no time and he has his own bed and he's a crack you know what I mean. I knock a big crack out but he knows.

[01:09:54]

Never to go upstairs. Yeah, right. Yeah, and then if it's a small dog, like if you're talking about, like a little miniature dictionary, you know, yeah.

[01:10:03]

You turn over and crush it like I'm a big, big man, you know? I mean, I could turn over, like, you know, she's a fuckin identity crush, another human like never mind a dog.

[01:10:15]

You know, I think your friend I think we're not against that.

[01:10:22]

We. Yeah. I wouldn't I wouldn't know.

[01:10:24]

I just I wouldn't judge someone for doing it, but like, I wouldn't be mad about, you know, I like to say, like, you know, where I have been, although it's really been more than people's beds over the years. It's a you know what I mean. Present company excluded.

[01:10:40]

No, I don't want to listeners, though. Yeah. What would a dog kill the mood?

[01:10:46]

Oh, there's no way you'd be able to perform like and we talk looking at you would, you know, would your dog like. So like I can't really comment because like, you know, Cass, I know my cat is normally looking into the window at me, you know, I mean, the room judging you, yet you just like, you know, you're terrible.

[01:11:06]

Well, like you said, I had the dog in the bedroom.

[01:11:08]

Yeah. But yeah, that's that's not to say. Would you have you ever been interrupted by the dog?

[01:11:16]

He's never come into the room like, no. Not the bedroom, like, listen, I know you, Johnny, let's OK, like the back end can put some people off, I guess.

[01:11:24]

Yeah. Have you ever been on the couch now doing something you shouldn't be doing?

[01:11:28]

And it's like, oh yeah, I'm giving it. That's there. I better let you go. Boy, it's definitely happened more I can tell by your face.

[01:11:40]

Yeah, it's most definitely happen.

[01:11:45]

So what are we talking about. Dogs in the bedroom. Dogs just chew an umbrella. Oh yeah. Not in favor of dogs. No more.

[01:11:56]

It's a definite no for. What about you? You're kind of a bit. You've done it before. I suppose so. Yeah.

[01:12:03]

I like I let the dogs Jody sleep in the bed last Saturday night. We feel lonely.

[01:12:09]

Ah, I was. Yeah. You just get a teddy bear.

[01:12:13]

Yeah. Yeah.

[01:12:14]

But like to have these things he shouldn't like you to have these things no more other like you know they come like they're big massive like for four pillows and they've got, they've got an built into Manalich.

[01:12:26]

OK, we're looking into one, we're going to get you one. You might get mine in Johnny's face on it.

[01:12:33]

There's Teddy, you can put microwave and all. Yeah. Teddy Neuquén.

[01:12:36]

I got one them plus it's actually quite nice and you know, thanks for tomorrow. We'll try it out to the listeners and they can let us know.

[01:12:42]

Do they sleep with their animals and have you ever been if I ever been interrupted by an animal.

[01:12:49]

Yes. How's your how's your animal ever kill the mood, you know, when you were trying to get busy? Don't forget to read, review and tell your friends what a two Gianni's podcast use the hashtag to Johnny's part. That's number two to spread the good word. And you can email as a podcast to the two Johnny Zadeh followers on Instagram and you can messages all your correspondence and all your future topics suggestions.

[01:13:11]

Now, finally, it's your turn, dark time. And don't forget your work this week is brought to you by the good people. At 48, they are changing up mobile and you can find out how on forty eight today. And the best news is to give them five lucky listeners each week. The chance to win a six month free forty eight mobile seem to be in with a chance of winning. All you have to do is send us in your UAT using the hashtag your forty eight.

[01:13:32]

So just go on to any of your social media platforms, insta Twitter, Facebook, the whole lot. Hashtag Yade 48. That's why you are for it. It's that easy. Put out.

[01:13:42]

You get six months free mobile class save money. That's, that's what we do here right Jonny. Kick us off.

[01:13:49]

I just wanted to thank everybody who got back to me about the sawdust on the floor, the chanty bar in Bali, finance in Kerry, the Spaniard in Kinsale, Nancy Blixen, Emrich.

[01:14:03]

Anytime I've been in there, I've been fairly hammered. I haven't seen much on the floor. Yeah, someone said it's me. And they're like, how how could you forget Nancy Blake's an American Idol. I completely forget.

[01:14:13]

And that's a Limerick City.

[01:14:15]

They have sawdust on the floor. Lily Finnigan's in Carlingford and in Newport.

[01:14:21]

Ryan's apparently, if they're having an 18th or 21st, the owner is quoted as saying sawdust and plastic glasses, the only job for so and it's hard to give a shout out to all O'Mahoney and Blarney.

[01:14:34]

I was talking to your carer today, and I hope that your smile and hope are going well on John. Any you're too dirt's for us.

[01:14:41]

Kinda like I've got a I don't know if I have a mind of if it's a year-to-date.

[01:14:46]

Yes, but Armorer made a suggestion to me weeks ago about a Netflix recommendation, OK?

[01:14:52]

And it was called Selling Sunset, where a bunch of beautiful women sell homes in Los Angeles.

[01:14:59]

And I actually didn't take Morobe on, you know, her recommendation straight away, but I came home to me.

[01:15:07]

Yeah, I'm not nude. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But I came home the other day and then he was watching it. Yeah. And I was like, I give this a go, I'll give it a go.

[01:15:16]

Like five minutes into it. I was like, turn off this dog shit. I say it was absolutely cat right. Was on five minutes. It was, it is.

[01:15:26]

This is the worst I've ever seen and then. Right.

[01:15:29]

I was like, OK, I'll give you another few minutes. Isn't too bad. Women had bad luck to be honest. And another episode two episode three episodes now of the two series No.

[01:15:40]

One. And I swear to God, honestly, don't deny a turn to any in the culture. I hadn't seen her.

[01:15:46]

She was working and I was I training and I came home was like, she's someone's pregnant, honey. I must I can't forget. Now, someone told me today that they were pregnant.

[01:15:55]

You know, the way you talk about news at home. And then it dawned on me was like it was actually your one in Selin Sunset.

[01:16:02]

I it was so much of it. I was convinced somebody like one of my friends or something is pregnant. So I do I'm not sure if it's a year like, why did you hear it?

[01:16:12]

Initially it was all like very superficial and.

[01:16:15]

You know what, the one thing is a watch two full series and haven't actually seen anyone sell a house. That's just drama. So, yeah, it's just drama and all like pitching with each other. And now I like looking at it because, like, it's lovely shots of L.A. and the houses are cars.

[01:16:29]

They're like, you know, house of 40 million, like the crazy stuff. But it's like it's nice to see that, like, you know, never before in it, but it's nice to look at it. But I swear to series and no one sold the house. I've seen any close deal. It's like, Tashaun, people around and that he never shows I'm actually selling it. So I'm going to work my way through series every now. And I touch base with you in a while, but I don't know if that's my daughter or dirt.

[01:16:53]

OK, but I do have a dirt.

[01:16:54]

Obviously we're kinda in limbo here in Ireland at the moment as regards covid. Yeah. And I think everybody's going mental.

[01:17:03]

Obviously golf is an absolute shambles. Yeah. How are we to take advice from people who can't follow their own advice? Yeah.

[01:17:09]

And I just think like. I don't know. Listen, what would we know about really, but I just think Irish people feel like we don't know where we're going. We don't know where we are or where we stand as unbelievers would say, yeah, we don't know what we're doing, where we're going to do what we're doing, that that we're going to.

[01:17:28]

Not at all. We were just in limbo.

[01:17:30]

And I think Irish people would rather have people, the government, be straight up with them, tell them, right, here's where we are. If it keeps going, they said this is where we're going to end up. If we improve, this is where we go. Just give it to in black and white. Don't sugarcoat and don't just like at the moment the guidelines that they passed out during the week, nobody knows where to stand.

[01:17:50]

And the whole thing is getting, I think is a bit harsh.

[01:17:54]

I've been against it.

[01:17:56]

It's been two hundred spectators and it's been finally sort of socially just wondering why they didn't say to the gay people, everyone going to a game has to wear a mask.

[01:18:04]

Yeah, I think that I think that would be fair enough. But and to travel individually, I notice a lot of people worse off.

[01:18:11]

They can't see family and can open their business. Yeah. People look, they've got a game is the end of the world. I know. Look, I've cancelled the wedding and we've Miss Universe and stuff like that as well. Everybody's affected like. So I just think just give us just let us know where we stand and give us clear, clear directions. We're all trying to find ourselves.

[01:18:27]

In the meantime, we all have to do our own little bit. A little bit.

[01:18:31]

So for me, Johnny Cmax for me, Johnny B, I wanna say thanks everybody for listening. Yeah. Thanks a million and keep an eye on the Post Wednesday.

[01:18:38]

Yes, I'm look, winds is going to be good day for the two, Johnny, so I hope you're keeping well. Yeah. Mine just says keep the heads up. Just better, better days ahead. Keep head. Yeah.

[01:18:47]

For me Johnny B.. Sorry you are seeing me.

[01:18:51]

Go on. Good luck.