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Instead, to Johnny's podcast's, to Johnny's podcast, to Johnny's record, the podcast. Hello, hello, hello, welcome to the two Gianni's podcast, bringing you all the major news from the World to Johnny's Johnny B.. I'm Johnny Cmax. Welcome to podcast. One hundred and thirty one coming to you like a bunch of children filled up with Fanta jumping like their life depended on it on a bouncy castle at a birthday party on this week's podcast, he's one of the funniest Irish people on social media.


We chat to style icon, TV presenter and cookbook author James Cavener.


He shoots grey squirrels, grey rabbits and the occasional stray child. Nor for long will he be here with the news which he drank while she would if it tasted like Sauvignon Blanc.


Maureen is here with her mystery topic and as traditional as your granny telling you to wisht because the death notices are on the local radio, we round up the podcast with our yards and our little week before commencing with proceedings on matters arising from last week's podcast.


Yes Mr Chairman.


Erm our email, the podcast to say, well lads, how are you getting on. I have a great story for you. Better Emerg because you've built it up.


Now back in 2010, my mum and dad took me and my three other siblings to Florida for Christmas who we went to one of three went to one of those theme parks for New Year's Eve.


Unfortunately, between jetlag and for kids moaning and groaning, we ended up going home early and missed the New Year's Eve fireworks display.


Much to my mother's dismay, my father being the romantic he is, decided to buy some fireworks as they are legal in America, or so he thought from a stall he had spotted in the Wal-Mart car park and put on a little display for Mam.


The next evening there was some grass roughly the size of a football pitch behind the house where we were staying. So he decided to do it there.


He set it up and boom, fireworks, great crack. After the third or fourth firework, however, something went astray and a firework ended up shooting across the ground into dry grass. A couple of more of these happened, and before we knew it, a fire had started. Q My father and my two sisters, aged 13 and 15, grabbing buckets of water from the pool in an attempt to put out the growing fire. My mother decided it was best to ring the fire brigade.


And after a few back and forth of, ma'am, you need to get your kids out of the house and her saying the fire isn't in the fucking house, not one, but two fire trucks arrived, followed by two cop cars, including the sheriff one. Fortunately for us, by the time they arrived, my dad and sisters had managed to actually put out the fire. When my mother seen the cop cars, she exclaimed, For fuck's sake, he's going to get arrested, not realizing myself and my brother, aged 10 and er or behind her.


Now picture the scene. And not so impressed. Sheriff firemen looking for a fire. My poor father and sisters destroyed with soot and two hysterical children thinking their father father's gone to jail. Thankfully they could see that there had been a fire informed dad that fireworks were illegal in the area and just gave him a warning. When Dad went back the next day to return the fireworks and give your man a bollocking, the style had conveniently disappeared and the man was nowhere to be found.


My mam still swears to this day when we sit down after she could physically see my father's heart pumping out of his chest. For two months before this event took place, Katy Perry had released her smash hit Firework.


And that's the song we sang for the rest of the holiday glow of the podcast hashtag Save our Chicken Rolls for Fatter by last week's topic.


I just like I love a one firework went wrong and in the dry grass and in three or four more to do the exact same thing.


First on one it was like Big Red, surely irresponsible.


Fatta would have looked up a YouTube tutorial or something on how to like fire.


The first one goes wrong. Yeah, you've got it. You've got to check his his health safety there. Last week's topic Pops, David said, Well, lads, just listen to this week's podcast you were talking about.


Tom Maher's pronounced ma ma. A little known fact. There's a hatch behind Abarat, of course, true to a hallway. And it's where businessmen used to do business means and Tom would serve. True to Hatch. There's also a small step as you walk in the door. And if you tripped on it walking in, Tom wouldn't serve you on real hard.


This is that this is the kind of stuff we want to hear on this podcast.


And Amy said, Dirty Nellie is in Claire beside Bon Rati Castle, also hazardous in the floor. So if you know anywhere else that's still hazardous on the floor, let us know we're going to do a sawdust tour.


Nikki was in touch. Hello, gents. Your charitable ladies and Forbes on the last podcast made me think of my nan, my gran and granddad. I want to pull up on James Street in Dublin for many years, and my gran was heavily involved in the business. By the sounds of it. She was a fierce landlady who who would also mammy to hire drinking regulars and make sure they went home and ate the dinner so they could resume their post at the bar without dying of alcohol poisoning.


Oh, that's only fair. So responsible. She would also give the rowdy lads as good as. Got it was unusual for ladies to only get a glass of their preferred or it was usual for ladies to only get a glass of their preferred drink, only half pint a lady less. Apparently, it was supposed to be more ladylike. The horror when visiting the of she used to cause a fuss. She'd sit at the bar and refuse to smoke. And when she'd order a pint, half pint would be placed in front of her.


She'd refuse it and say it's not what she ordered and demand for a full pint. Oh well, it may seem small now. It apparently used to cause an awful scene.


Go on, Granny. Granny, drive it on. Drive it on. On last week's topic of breakfasts, Danny in America said Good morning from the USA. You asked about pancakes. The US in my family growing up, they were a weekend three on Saturdays. My mom would just make a big stack of them. Mom, mom, the fluffier, the better. Butter and maple syrup are the basics, but my mom likes jam and syrup. You can do fresh fruit or berries.


They're kind of like toast, mostly just a sweet bread to put things on. Also, we have a restaurant here that those eggs Benedict with smoked salmon on it. Really good. And the hollandaise sauce, Johnny?


Yeah, it's called hollandaise. I should've known a lot of people were delighted to correct us and we forgot the name of the sausage and eggs Benedict.


And if I'm correct in saying, er, eggs Benedict with smoked salmon is called Eggs Florentine, nice.


If I'm correct, they look to probably be a lot of emails. It is called something else that's not called Eggs Florentine.


Whenever we try and do our American accent, it just comes out like we're in some forty one. But some other punk band, Shannon said, got basically spiced up Mayo.


Shannon said it, guys.


Mora on Morriss topic at breakfast. Me being an American, I can say we do love pancakes or French toast once, once in a while for breakfast with some sausage and scrambled eggs. Very nice. But honestly, this topic is just making me hungry every time I read it.


Speaking for myself, though, that's something I might have on a weekend for a treat. I don't eat like that all the time. That being said, Johnny Cmax, not all Americans are overweight, lol.


Laugh out loud. We do have something in American restaurants called a short stack of pancakes, which is usually only three. Not sure if you have anything like that in Ireland. By the way, the sauce on eggs Benedict Hollandia.


Oh wow. Usually made of egg yolks, butter and lemon juice. Thank you for that, Shannon.


In Ireland we have a breakfast roast and it's great if you want to just get yourself some high cholesterol. It's fantastic.


I do like a breakfast roll once in a while, once an egg yolks, butter and lemon juice.


I did not know. That's what Holness also went to restaurant one day. I want to be friends and fancy enough place and clarity and we're all having like brunch. This was what you call it.


And yeah, he was a falconer not knowing the menu. Orny eggs. Jesus Christ. You're one can only take solitaries. I'll have the French toast, please. So you do realize that's made of eggs, you idiot. Like your stitches laugh almost an all exhaustion.


And Putin. No, I think it was like eggs Benedict and lords like pancakes, and it was a fancy old spot.


No, you damn Meister I'm coming out. Cuív It was entitled to say on the topic of coming out in the sports place, they call it like the workplace. I don't know if this is going to relate to lads, but to any girls want to hear. I have raced internationally for over five years now and the one thing I have noticed is that normally it is better when people just tell a close friend and let it come out slowly.


But I have one story that annoys me. I was at an event one year in Spain and one of the girls in the Australian team, the Austrian team is.


Yeah, that can be confusing. One of those guys is known as being gay. One of those ladies. To me, it is not a big deal.


Anyway, I was out with a few people at dinner and people started giving out about the Austrian girl changing in the same room as us, knowing that not all countries are as open to the LGBT community as those Irish.


I said if you have a problem with it, you should change somewhere else. It's not like they're staring at you or walking up to you saying hello, asking you out in the changing room.


Everyone at some point accidentally looks up and quickly looks away. But also, if they do look at it, take it as a compliment.


Sometimes I look at you do not want to see me scared for leaflet to me.


I had to speak up to them about it, as it shouldn't be a big deal. I am friends with athletes from a few religious countries, and when I first met them a few years back, some were homophobic. I had to try to make them see that being gay or transgender doesn't make people any different to them. It's been three years now and my friends are now sticking up for anyone LGBT and willing to talk to LGBT people.


I should stand up. I like to think that I helped make that happen to me. It's a waste of energy and people should stand up for one another and call our people on their bullshit. Thanks for listening, Quaver.


Hear, hear. However, if you meet people who are from, like, really intense religious countries, that's just that's a tough one.


Yeah, just on nakedness in the restroom like that. That's all part of it. That's, you know, kind of like I remember the first time I went to air with the senior hurling team in school. I was on a young lad and like, you know, you drive the games togged out back then because everybody's paranoid of shame. And then like this one lad and he was like Javani shower gel.


And I was like, yeah, for some reason I had Shergill in my bag, even though I was never, like, going to shower with these guys. You're always so prepared.


Yeah, I have everything, all of us Timi toiletries. And he was like I was like, get bent down to my bag to get the tank, get showered and pick him up. He's just like he's really nearly in my face.


And I'd like I was newses and I was like, just great game. Like you can hold onto it and you want it back.


Cammarano want to divorce, but I didn't know what was going on in the hallway, almost thinking like, fuck, he really doesn't think that every team has somebody super confident like this lad wasn't he wasn't Pachon like an absolute Wangaratta, like he was just Cheezy was walking around with, like, swinging it around this little walking stick.


Jesus Christ. Yeah. So, like, nakedness can can be off point for some people. That's what I'm saying.


You feel like I have to share that story.


Private schools, she said, well, that's Zamara just on the topic of private school students and how they can be a bit stuck up and feel a bit superior to us public school goers.


Allegedly. Allegedly. Now, listen, you know what I mean. God got a lot of disgruntled private school students us. But I've had a few encounters with posh private school students my age in the past. That leaves a very sour taste in my mouth and makes me proud and happy that I came from a public school and didn't turn out like a spoilt, cocky, dramatic little wanker.


Again, I like this one time her lads and myself were off Interrail for the summer and the only Irish people we met on the trip were DeFore Private School Falke. We eventually ended up chatting to a lot of them. When we told them we were from Kilkenny, it was like we were telling them we were from some fucking mystical Lord of the Rings land that they've never heard of. They thought that we lived in country fields in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by no civilisation whatsoever.


And they asked us to to that. That's like shooting. And they asked us, do you guys have, like, neighbours and stuff?


They were also another night in Slovenia where we were out in a pub and there was a really classic match on from like ten years ago. I mean, one of the lads were watching it for a bit and then wanted to die for lads we had previously met, came off those and tried to explain to us that the match on the telly was not a live match and that had happened ten years ago.


I was just thinking to myself, how fucking tick are these lads? They honestly thought we lived in ditches and had no clue about anything just because we didn't go to a private school or weren't from Dublin. This doesn't mean all private school pupils are wankers. As I have some friends who went to private school, there are some, but just some of them just think they're shit smells better than the rest of us. And that comes in from Shane.


Listen, you know, we are not going to discriminate against private school or public school here. Like we're we're just given people's opinions on it as we gave our own opinions a couple of weeks.


Go on. Can't discriminate on email on the topic of mispronounced and misspelled town names. Thank you.


En I was driven out of feathered last week, heading to the beautiful town of Care and I know the road well. No problem.


I also knew I had to go through the village of Paul Mocca on the way when I was on the way over heading out of feathered, I looked at the sign on the side of the road and it read Paul.


Now, Namiki, I had travelled this road loads of times and this was the first time I noticed this. I thought the spelling looked strange to me and I just drove on. Then when I was driving into pomoc at the sign read Paul Walker, I always would have considered this to be the correct spelling of it.


It was strange to see that there are two spellings of a place as small as Paul Ponoka. I suppose you learn something new every day.


Up tip operating. It's Paul McCartney.


Yes. The sign out of. Yeah, it's wrong. Paul Tomoki Pigs' all. Pests. We'll have to get the official spokesperson for Paul Walker and the Malony back on this. He was on the Extra podcast last week. We should have asked him the boom. Anonymous said, love this topic. I was listening to the podcast Episode 119 Day-To-Day about the whole boom and the good old days when the topic came up about exotic foreign people arriving in Ireland.


I thought I'd share my story. I am from Rozario myself and my dad was the first ones.


My dad was the first ones to arrive in Ireland for work around 2007, where he found a job in construction. After two years, my family decided to visit my dad for holidays. Long story short, my mam loved the place so much we ended up never going back home and we ended up living in Rostker.


The whole situation with the backpack's and the fact that every foreign person wears one, I'm not sure on what other people have in the bags, but my dad had one, two and four work. He used to bring it with him, but unfortunately it was just as packed lunch and his uniform bits such as shoes and lost. I wish it was a bag of money he was carrying. It is hard for people to move away from their countries, especially when you have to learn a new language.


I was lucky enough to pick it up very quickly, as I believe the harder your language is, the easier it is for you to learn a new one. I'm now living in Dublin working for a multinational company, and it's all thanks to my fluent English from when I started in second class in primary school in Raschka, in Rostker to Gorvy.


But where this is, that is. He didn't it doesn't she doesn't. I love the mix of the tip fa anoxia. That's brilliant. Deibert but I also don't believe the button in the rucksack.


No, no listen I know we know it's like 10 to 15 grand.


You just saying it was.


You're not fooling us. Come on. You're not foolishness. Nobody's fool we know was of money.


Thank you for that.


On hashtag save our chicken rolls, Chilian emailed to say a quick message there, a shout out to Tierney's shop in Tonna Rodenas County Clare for dishing out the chicken rolls for three euro eighty on the banner makers emailed us.


He's irate. He's calling Kilcullen Services Circle K on the M nine for Euro, sixty for a chicken feed at all without the chicken. White asked for a chicken filler with a bit of relish, bacon and crispy onion just after going for an hour.


And copters not chicken is outrageous. Oh, that is. That is indefensible. You'd probably be rude in your eyes to go back in and smash the place up. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, Your Honor. There was no chicken in the chicken federal case dismissed. Yeah, I kicked a dog through the window.


But like, again, we don't condone animal cruelty here either.


Another listener said, got a chicken roll, one topping and no sauce at Zhongxun eight cashier service station. It was for your 050 Outrageous.


And Natalie emailed and said, In relation to save our chicken roll campaign, I've won five Central on Grand Parade and Patrick St.. They've got the same owners in Park City. If you go into the shop, you get a large she can fill a role with two toppings and a bottle of water for forty or fifty. Nice. But if you want to order it online and collect it or get it delivered by delivery, the role is an outrageous price of six euro with no toppings.


And if you want any toppings, it's a euro per topping. Oh, then the delivery charge. On top of that, they're bearing in mind that orders literally going from grandparental patcher street to the same street as the art studios and cark.


That's not fair hashtag outrageous. Just need a few years ago I was in Sligo for college and I was living near to a shop at a deli.


I don't want to name it because people in Slagle will definitely know where I'm on about. So I used to get a fair amount of rolls there. Fast forward to twenty. Twenty. A few months ago I was cleaning out my room and came across a handbag I used to use and had a few receipts in it. I looked through them and saw one for a chicken federal me. Why do you have receipts from a chicken. Fill it all from like five years ago.


Anyway, the price on it was twelve euro because I just used the tap on my card and never really listen to the price. I never noticed until now. So years later it obviously was a mistake, but it's still mental and I highly doubt the taste was worth twelve euro. I'm so annoyed, especially because surely the worker or the shopkeeper scanning it would have noticed a roll and a drink should not come to twelve euro an hour unless that drink was like a bottle of moey.


Even at that read one more call. Kevin Centerin Palace Green four euro ten for a small chicken dead is what he says. Twenty twenty. That has got more horrifying. What Hoplin O'Brien.


Oh Regius right. Who is going to get the two Shani's podcast hiden about these price.


Jesus we are going to just start Fokin Deli's up all over the country. OK, what little John there from a feature on an Usher track.


Who's going to win the two? Gianni's Moag sponsored by KC Sports where you can buy loads to Giannis March and March dropping very sharply tomorrow Who do you like for the morgue.


I like EMA's firework story and I like the story of Stand Up for her and the Austrian runner so fifty fifty more you know we want to give it to the ridiculous person now even to somebody you've given us something wholesome. That's not what this podcast is about. It's the meme we like the guy who set fire to a field of fireworks. You're getting them all. Yeah. Cueva what you're doing as well is very nice.


And we also appreciate that social justice is for humanity. It's not for Mogs.


Yes, yes, yes. It's a firework lady.


You can contact podcast at the two journeys that I've got all your contact details and we get your mug sent out as quickly as is humanly possible.


Now, the weekly roundup, what's been going on this week? Not far like not in Utah to talk about, but a lot behind the scenes. Our club championship, first of all, has come to an end, a sad end, you know, in bad circumstances.


Long story short, ladies and gents, the four teams in the group, we were on joint second place with the team we were supposed to play. We needed bottom place to be, top place. They gave a walk over, which meant our game was pointless and the opposition gave us a forfeit. So our season ends one loss, one win, and we get a text saying the season is over, we don't even get to go four pints and slag all the young fellas.


Yeah. And ruin their lives, like I say, at home last night, thinking like for a long time for that. And it's all over now.


Yeah, we're at home. Pre-season starts again.


I can't believe. Is that it. Are we back in pre-season now. Yeah, I guess so. We won't have a game every six months unless you want to play the junior football.


But you know, I'm not really feeling that a present they don't they don't need my skills, my mind, my management career.


Is it will we go to the four forefront now? Semi-Final next week. More moving on up. OK, I'm on the slashers.


I got roped into coach the understands. Yeah. What are what are you at. Like. Oh Tom Howard should not to be taken from that lads going around. Cheers.


And Frogs' Johnny. There was a drill, he set up a drill pasos the coach. And like you I was trying to assure a young lad how to like raise the ball and I turn around.


One guy was pissin and I make two hands on it. I'm like, no, no, you sort of God.


And the but just for people, you know, there's a few guys who are natural and then there's a few people who are like really going to struggle sports just probably maybe not for them or that sport.


And there's guys in the middle who need to learn the basics now in the next year or two already they're not going to enjoy it. Yeah.


And you just couldn't have enough helpers to take this job, at least a landline talking to like I can communicate with him.


I think I would just go crazy with kids that young.




Find I'll find out all about it on the Extra podcast this week where we talked about kids and how annoying they are. Also this week, I've been watching like say yes to the dress.


Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. You get married.


It's been. It's been. Yeah. Well, I don't know when at the moment because the rohner looks like in the wedding is going to be put back. But I'm just watching that.


It's been a slow week like it's crazy. So like they've got like say yes to the dress right where women go in and not pick out dress. Yeah.


And they've got an American one in English one and an Irish one. OK, and I was watching the US one first and then the Irish one. Come on after it. Oh no, I'm not sitting down by myself. Right. Berrima I'm watching this. The other half, the American ones Gastar compared to the Irish like to go on American braze trying to dress and no matter how she looks on him and God forbid like it does look great on some of them, they come out and they're like, oh my God, what do you guys think?


And then instantly to two hundred people that they brought with them who all seem to be brothers and sisters, there must be some riden in America and they all just instantly burst into tears. Yeah. Like, oh my God, you look amazing.


And it's like you don't look so beautiful. Yeah. You know, you're like you're beautiful. Oh my God, Shania, you're fantastic.


And then like, the Irish one comes out and she didn't look too bad. Yeah, she wasn't. And then like straight away promotors.


I don't like that onion. You know, it does not for your figure.


No, it does not for your finger and your everybody's thinking in your head like. Yeah, sure. And she called for Sharon.


Come on. And the Irish horse we run.


Frank, Frank is we done something to him before it hit me. Why does he pronounce it like that. The No it's Frank to me anyway. How are you Frank. I kept saying that I was like your man Frank is gas and he's like, it's Frank. I was like, yeah, Frank. Yes.


He's not French. No, no, I don't think he is. He's not French. Marosi, I. No, you know, he's Irish. Yeah.


Can you call me John from now. John back to Johnny's. But I like just the other difference. I know what's in there. The blood, the American braids are all about like, you know, how can I make this ceremony so special? They're like, oh my God, I want like clowns and I want like animals and I want magicians, like in Ireland that's just bringing her in.


Laughs I mean, I've seen your Uncle Mick drink six liters of whiskey and make him disappear in ten minutes. He demands a fucking magician. So I think I think I'll knock down the head for next week. I'm not really enjoying what I watch. Ancestress, I'm I wouldn't know how she got the dress.


Yeah. Well, then, you know. Well, listen, you know, this wedding being canceled again, like she reckons might be going to a date.


I say there's a way she said, yeah. I said it's not going oh hell God, I'm going to just get married in the backyard of this debt. Fucking sick. Yeah. Yeah. I don't give a shit. Probably, probably probably at Atlanta.


Thank you to everybody who has signed up for the extra podcast on Thursdays. Latza Extra crack and ma'am extra to Giannis in your ears on this week's extra podcast. Number twenty one I had an important question for trick.


Am I like your second son Johnny. Big time. I want to get to a lounge so if I can. He's handsome. Did you listen to Monday's podcast. I did because I was basically went over to borrow a vintage week and. And so much that looked to be poor man in a wheelchair, that was unreal, actually, at all. Well, how much would it have been to go see Jordan and. And that's how I was about seven pounds.


Yes, well, what are women like throwing their knickers at your older ones?


Like the desperate ones? Wayward youngsters like, you know, we were cool. Did you ever throw because the judges kept her knickers on? That's my mother.


Now, our guest this week is someone who packed in a PR job to make it big on social media and in the foodie world. He loves any Princess Diana and this Jamz Cavener. You are welcome to the two Johnnys podcast.


Thanks for having me. I'm delighted to be here.


So just in case there's anyone living under a rock, how would you like to introduce yourself or describe it yourself or what you do?


I am Ireland's biggest only fans model two euro a to and really sexy. Oh my God.


What I might like to know, I present a few things, a few bits and bobs. My name is James Cavnar. I have Ireland's most followed cos her name is Princess Diana Kavner. I'm probably more known for owning her. Yeah. And I have a cookbook called The Cherubini Cookbook, so I have fingers in many pies. Oh, you know what I mean. But I have to say I got a text from your lovely producer last week and I was weirdly coincidentally in the car with my family and to Johnny's come up.


And my mom was telling my my boyfriend about this story of my sister when she my sister's in her 40s and I put back in the day they were having Codal around the dinner table.


I've got Cordle's. Yeah.


Revile. And they my sister was you know, she was like seven or eight and they're sitting around in the thing in the middle and the sausage skin kind of come off. It's the most horrendous thing in the world. So this sausage skin is like floating about. My sister picks and goes, it looks like a Johnny a my dad went berserk, but it was literally you tell your producer, text me as soon as my mom tell that story.


So it's to Johnny was.


So you're passing us today because you were down in the tropical car. Yes. The real tropical cherubini.


Cherubini you love your connection is your man William is from down there. Yes. And your food company is called Carboni. Yeah.


Yeah. And is it public knowledge that you're thinking of moving down there?


Yeah. Well, yeah, I know it is. I always talk about how much I love us.


And yeah, we're at the moment we're looking for a house down there. So if anyone has any leads and. Sure. If you're just good fuck. Yeah. I'll do some Instagram post if you give me. That's not how it works. OK, I can't believe you're leaving Dublin. Yeah. To be honest, I'm like, you know, you go out with a cork person as well and they are very proud of their county and they're very influential on your thinking.


I think so. I grew pride Dobe. I'm now I'm the proud honorary cork person.


I absolutely love us and I really especially during what's happened and local businesses and stuff suffering. I really admire what Cork has done. I don't know if you've been recently, but like all of all the streets off Patrick Street, that the the council have done an amazing job of putting all these tables and chairs. There's a it's like walking around.


Well, I was gonna say it's not quite like, you know, it's like walking around some sort of lovely little farand village, but it's a lovely area and I just feel like I'm ready for court.


Yeah, it's exactly like Italy, but everyone has their sentences and boy, so I find a cassette.


So Carboni is your food company. Yes. But like your social media stuff could be you wearing leather tassels on your nipples and then your food is like really rustic and healthy and wholesome.


Yeah, this is really how do you reconcile the two extreme parts of your personality? I want them all.


I have a spectrum like I mean, you know, I was only talking to someone about food and they were kind of talking about how I love MacDonalds. I absolutely love MacDonalds, but I also love Michelin star restaurants. Yeah, you know what I mean. Yeah, I don't like this. You have to be in a box, you know, and people have said that to me along.


I'm not offended or anything, but people are like, oh, you know, you know, you're in leather chaps on your donson to for six, you know. But like, I can enjoy my rustic. Yes. Country lifestyle by the sea. I love it all. So now I want to I want all the experience.


We can all have everything. Yeah. People are quick nowadays to say, who are you, what do you do. They want to put you in a box. You try and understand you. The first time we met our manager, he was like listening to music or comedy.


Yeah, we're not good at either podcasts out of the podcast. So yeah.


But I think I think as a society and as we're growing, we're kind of realised when we don't have to be in a box, we don't have to be in a nine to five job on. Maybe you want to do that. That's completely fine as well. But you can kind of I think people are realizing can kind of create the life you want.


Yeah. By exploring loads of different types of earning a living or whatever, whatever you're into.


It sounds sounds like a lot of fun. Yeah. Do you have an approach for your social media content or any kind of strategy or is it just not what. Yeah. What I like I don't have a strategy for. I feel I feel really kind of. You know, I do these talks and college and stuff and I like, you know, tell us what your five year plan was like. I have no idea what I was locked five minutes ago.


But, like, I don't have, like, this strategy type thing. I just kind of I feel very lucky. Like from I got like enough points to do basket weaving on the islands for my living service.


No joke. It was the only course I could do. And I would.


I wish I did. It's like I would like it. No, I didn't. And I'm raised, I imagine, like being like peg hairs on a wall, like beanie baskets. Very poor of anybody. Yeah. But like, I got really sharp points and then I just fell into a poor job and I fell into kind of doing stuff online. So I feel like I've just kind of been a soman, not even going up too much at first.


I've just been going backwards down the street over. But luckily I've landed in some nice thing. Yeah. So I'm lucky in that sense.


We're in the palm of my hand, you know, for like, you know, like Simms's you do some brand new content or stuff like that.


Yeah. All sides of it. Yeah.


Yeah exactly. It was a good thing to do. And I think for anyone who is unsure of what to do, I always recommend doing marketing or PR because you learn how to sell a story or tell a story or sell a product and that's applicable to every way of life. So there's only one that's unsure of what to do.


Do maybe a quick PR course or communications even because isn't life storytelling?


Yeah, if you if you can get on with people you surely earn living in somewhere, that's. Oh my God. My mother used to tell me I never believed her.


You were talking about giving talks there in schools. Yeah. Yeah. So you come in life coach.


Life coach seems to have not been the other one. You were telling us, though, about your own school experience.


Yes. So you're half Rakoczy, half Kielce in school and Westmeath. Yeah. Boarding school. Boarding school. Yeah.


What we actually did a topic on board is like, did you enjoy boarding school.


I had the time of my life and really. Oh my God. I went in Westmeath and Westmeath in the middle of nowhere, hay bales and all like the full whack. But I, I didn't have the best start to my life.


I guess school life, primary school was the best time of my life that, you know, the the academic work was easy, like it was one plus one time. And then it was like it was my level of academia. I loved us. So I had the best time ever. And it was a mixed school. I had my girls had the boys. I was like getting all the parts in the drama. So it was just great.


But then I remember that I went to an all boys school and suddenly everything changed. It was like I, I, I was real happy. Little Gehling stepped into the school and I was like, hang on, is he okay?


That's a no no. I am. So I kinda you know, there was a bit of a homophobic start to my school life. I was quite badly bodies. There was this one guy who used to bully me a lot. On reflection, I always say he'd be amazing at marketing or something because they're kind of the efforts. He went to bully me. It was so creative. Like, you know, he put things letters to my locker. He'd write about me on the walls.


And and I remember one day, actually, and this kind of changed everything. My perspective, he he filled out this survey. I like science guys. But at the time I was really uncomfortable with who I was. I wasn't ready to come out. I didn't even know if I was gay myself. I fancied Buffy like I.


But then also O'Callahan. So it was you know, I was confused, you know.


So I remember he he made this survey. It was how gay is James? And he made it, you know, those Bic pens with the four colors. Yeah. So he made it and ticked different colors to make it look like more people were filling it out, to make it seem like more people were against me, you know what I mean?


So we had this thing. But I remember he went to pass the back of the class and this guy who I'm friends at now stopped the no going by. And he was like, here, cop on, leave him alone. And that was the first time I experienced someone standing up for me.


So I always kind of say they'll always be bullies, they'll always be mean people in life, but try and be the one to stand up for someone else because it changed my life not to be dramatic, but then I realized, hang on, the nice people in the world here.


Yeah, there's lovely people. So I always try and stand up for someone else. But that's amazing.


Then I went, Yeah, it was. And I love that guy for doing that for me because it really changed everything.


And then I went to boarding school and I decided on the way down I thought I was going to like, be myself. I wasn't going to hide anymore. And I remember walking into the dorm and this guy goes, Ah, this is my country accent. Are you gay?


And that's not the stuff I am. And then I, like, kind of froze. And I was like, yeah, I'm like he was like, all right, I'm starting, I'm packing his back.


And I was like this. So how do do that? Then you come and make him nice. I like it was like they had nothing on me then or something. Yeah. And then I started to, it was like taking off baggage. I was like and I truly believe you. Live your best life until you live your truest life, until you are yourself one hundred percent. I don't think you can achieve happiness or whatever.


So from that day on, I started to just own myself, who I was being a gay and just be everything else I am but not hide parts of myself. And it was the best time ever.


Boarding school was the croc, the debauchery, drinking the right way.


Oh my God. Yeah, it was it was incredible.


I wish I went to boarding school. Sounds like a good Saturday night. And you know what? Like this is a different topic and each their own. But I it was a mixed school. I don't really believe in segregating school. I think mixed schools are the way forward. It's life men and women mix and life. Why are we segregating people in schools? And I think I think everyone was quite was way more mature in the mix school by talking to the opposite sex and they talk to each other.


So, you know, I just felt there was a level of maturity in boarding school that it didn't have and the other school and it was just way better. I'm totally sending my kids boarding school.


I like later in life. If you go and work in an office to safety people in the office and, you know, it's there's boys and girls, it's surely going to stand here.


So Muhanad, like, you know, who's been talking to girls all his life, like fucking.


Yeah, we're all right for us, John.


Well, you may know we had a listener right into us a couple of weeks ago. They were coming out to him. Yes. So we're going to kind of have to ask you for your guidance here.


Not you're not like the king of the gays or anything. You I'm HRH King of the gays. How do you address me? I feel like we should bow. Yes, genuflect. Kiss the ring or something. All right. Well, you told us your own experience and school.


I guess the boarding school would have a reputation for being a bit more macho or like, you know, all boys schools like that.


Yeah, I was watching that movie, um, Handsome Devil. Oh, yes. About a boarding school in Dallas.


Going to say yes and like that like he goes into school and everyone's like, oh, that's good. Yeah. Like and I think language nowadays is more on the radar. People are more conscious of what they say.


Yes. And I wouldn't have any advice for this guy who is worried that if someone calls him like the effort on the field, that he's going to lose the rag and like, start a brawl and get sent off and all. Yeah. Do you have any words of wisdom?


Usually my advice is pointed to the other people, and it's about making an environment that's inclusive and accepting to the gay person. So, you know, there's I can always talk to the gay person, get the gay person voice, but I think it's up to everyone else to kind of make it a bit more comfortable and nice for everyone. Language is so important. When I was in school, the word gay was a negative thing. You got homework?


That's gay. Your lunch was shy at gay and you know, ah, the teacher got mean. It's not gay. So I associated the word gay with negative.


So why would I want to come out.


Why would I want to be a gay person or whatever. So I think it's important for people maybe on his team or whatever to start, maybe because it's all well and good for me saying so. That's why I love that thing you did on your podcast. It's it's good for you straight men to kind of have this conversation among themselves and it kind of in whatever way they want. But it's it's important for other people to make other people feel more comfortable.


It's kind of like it's kind of like, you know, being racist or whatever.


Yeah. It's kind of up to white people, I think, at this stage to kind of call to the race and maybe say here, that's not quite silent, you know, blah, blah, blah.


So it's it's not use that word. Yeah, exactly. So but what I would say to him is come out. It's a real basic thing to say, but it's as soon as I did this, I started to live my life. And as I said, you can't live your best life and to live your true life. So I would say to him, it gets easier and easier.


And as I said, when that guy who said to me, Are you gay?


And I said, yeah, there was no one else. You do, then, you know what I mean? So I would just recommend them to come back. And you'll be surprised is like I was in school. I was the only guy in the village in school at the time. But like I when I left school, I've now connected with like ten other gays.


I was like, okay, well, how are you? The long, lonely nights. I know.


But, you know, you'll be surprised that I've how many people are kind of unfortunately not living that your life is is coming out as big a deal now as it was like, you know, many years ago to me now it's like completely normal. Like, you know, if someone's gay, you're not even like, oh, he's gay. You know, I don't think you have to tell someone. It's like, OK, right. Yeah, exactly.




And like, I think even the marriage referendum, for example, I think that meant more than just marriage.


That was another that was Ireland. Saying, you know, we accept you, it was another level of acceptance, I think, and like I even noticed visibility rise.


Like when I was walking down the street, there was like women holding hands, men holding hands. It was just more I dunno, it was like another it was like another door had opened for LGBT people in Ireland.


It wasn't just about marriage. So I think it's so different now.


It really is. And, you know, I feel as a white gay man, I'm a little freer than a lot of other people. So I think it's rather than me pulling up the ladder now, it's about thinking of the other people on the LGBT kind of spectrum who need help, like trans people, for example. They're just innocent people trying to exist.


And there's people out there who tried to make their life hell.


So it's about me now. I feel free.


I genuinely do. I don't feel I don't suffer homophobia anymore. So it's about me now looking back to other people who may need my help. So we all have to look out for each other.


Do you ever get any abuse anymore of people? Not really, no. Like the all time I got the F word thrown at me from, like, a group or whatever, like on the corner or girls. Nothing's accessor, you know.


But I really mean, yeah, it means nothing to me at this stage.


It's like water off a duck's back. Water off. Yeah.


I can't believe that I know how to be doing this.


You mentioned it. The other people in the the rainbow of LGT b q yeah. Like the trans one must be tough for people in school and that. Yeah I think it's like the practicals like around bathrooms. Oh exactly.


Where I feel you know, maybe trans people are now is where gay people were maybe like 15, 20 years ago, you know, and it differs country to country as well as some country, like they're disproportionally murdered, like, you know, so, you know, there's stuff that happens.


And then there's, you know, just there's bathroom issues. And then, you know, I think as a society we can say, oh, we're not homophobic anymore, but we have to look after the other people on that kind of spectrum, too.


So do you think Ireland has far to go?


And I think I think in in different bits and bobs. Yeah, but I'm so proud of Ireland.


Like, I think we're literally like a beacon of light in this chaos of the world.


You know, when you look to the the left me, Jocasta, I kind of think like that in America. There's so much like chaos going on.


But like we repeal's the 8th, we had the March referendum. It's like we are showing the world how to be progressive. And I I adore Ireland. I always like rational thought.


I'd be like I want to, you know, live in Manhattan, like the second city girls. Yeah, I want to be, you know, my I smoke a lot, but now I'm like, I want to live in a field and cork.


I adore Ireland.


So I think yeah we I think we'll never not have far to go in terms of making sure we're all equal and accepted and blah, blah, blah.


But we are shown the world what to do.




And but even outside of that, you've been quite good at handling online abuse like you like to eat and mean stuff which you about, you know, your fashion or your content or whatever you join, join the full that.


But you know, at the stars like at the start of getting a following, it was it was weird, you know, because I dunno know, I always think, like, if, you know, if you're in work or whatever, you have a little fight with someone to work and then you go home, you tell your partner about it, and then you kind of can calm down. But when you're online or something, it's like you're open to it all the time.


I often find, like, I don't really got to be like day to day, but I'd say if I go in the late Late Show or if I go in a radio show and it's like I'm opening up to people who don't know me or whatever, and someone's like, get AIDS and die.


I'm like, Jesus, yeah, let me be fucking strong. Oh yeah. But then there are always people were blurry pixellated avatars.


They don't have their proper picture online.


They have you know, it's Mickey Joe eighty six, seven, six, seven, whatever. They're never like not the real Mickey Mouse. So you always have to I even find like people who were like homophobic to me growing up.


So I made friends with a lot of them afterwards. And when I kind of looked at them and like learned about them, they had issues at home.


They kind of hated themselves. They you know, I think if you're a person that's being mean to someone else, you're projecting like your own insecurities in your own your own inner feelings. So I always kind of feel sorry for people who are slagging me online or give me abuse or, you know, I'm not saying criticism is different people besides my work and what I do.


And that's totally fine. But if you're just calling me, I forget how much I like your shoes.


I'm like, are you OK, Micky?


Like, you want to have a chance, like as as prestigious as it is going on. The next time we go on, I'm going straight and quarantining myself from everything, all forms of Twitter, social media. The whole user adored though.


I, the People's Princess, Ireland sweethearts. Yeah. Are rural Ireland. I don't like that.


If you go somewhere like it's easy. To avoid people, if you want, just don't follow them, but then if you go and do that, it's a bit different. Yeah, I want to I was just talking to my barber this morning and I said you were coming on and he said, you've got to ask him about the hair. Yeah.


You were very open, shaved your story. You got a hair transfer transplant.


Yeah. A year ago. This is coming up. What made you want to get it in?


I lose my hair and I'm just asking for a friend. Hoping for. No, I was kind of.


I was I was my hairline was receding quite dramatically, which is weird because when I grew up, like, if you look at me, age 18, 19, I had like, Harry Styles mopper hair, like it was my thing. I loved it. And then when I kind of reached like twenty five, twenty six, it started just turning, it started receding. And I was like, oh Jesus. So I always said, like, they're not cheap.


But I was like, I'd rather got a heart transplant than a car.


You know, I like my hair transplants and it was the easiest procedure ever. Like I was brought in and I got it in Torbjorn Blakroc. And like, if anyone is thinking about it, go for the consultation because, you know, you can go from there and see what you need. Some people only need medication. Some people only need to regain mousse or some people like me will need the actual procedure. But it's way simpler than you think.


I was brought in, my head was shaved and you sit in a chair and you're given six needles all over the top of your head and it numbs your heads and then your watch Netflix. I watch actually I watch Roald all the witches. And I was like, remove your vig.


Yeah, that's what's happening to me now. How long did it take? It took eight hours in the chair.


OK, so it's a long procedure and then break for lunch. Yeah, that's it. So it was they took a load of hair from the back of my head and then basically planted it on the front of my head.


So it's funny. It's so fascinating.


I had to do it. Like if you take out a hair, you have to put it into the scalp in a direction.


That's where the other hairs are growing. So it's painstaking. That's why it's expensive. And but that was it then.


It was. But that was this one. Yeah. And so then I had to go home and spray my head every twenty minutes with this solution. That was a bit grim, but that was for four time. I was like, really, um, fetch the spray. Like I'm sitting there like Jabba the horse. Well he sprays my head but then, you know, the hair grows back and it's fine with us. Yeah. You go in for like checkups now and again and like I went for my last my year one and they showed me the kind of progress pictures.


And it's just amazing.


I do have three YouTube videos. If you search James Covena hair transplant and I go through everything. So if there's anyone that they're using, I do fake news and stuff at the end.


So it thoroughly explains the whole process because there is this thing I think about Manley's, Manley's, the hair. They are ashamed or don't talk about it or like, come on.


Like, it's to happens to literally a lot of us.


You're fine, though. You have this hairline.


I thought it is like, no, you're good as well. We're just getting all kinds of things. But now these lips and eyes and boobs and let's kind of get a call here.


Here. I can guarantee you if like my hair is one of the small things I have going for me, if I start losing that, I'm getting that shit done.


I know.


And, you know, when you think of hair transplants, you're like, oh, God, I could afford it. But they can cost anywhere from ten grand to 20 grand. But a lot of the clinics do. And sort of payment plans, you pay like one hundred a month or whatever for x X amount. It's like paying off the car. Yeah. So if you if you are someone who's concerned about it, there's ways they always do this before you go.


The food is becoming a bigger and bigger part of what you're working.


Why? What's your life? Only funds. Yes. So yeah, we should just set up and only promise to subscribe.


Where's the future for Carboni. What do you see happening?


So we're actually looking at we're looking around calk to move down, but we want to set up a kind of kind of gorgeous kind of boutique guesthouse. So maybe five or six bedrooms and have a very food focus. So people come down for two days and we kind of make gorgeous food for them and maybe do sort of like yoga, relaxation weekends. We'd love somewhere by the water. So we'd love a curb, any guest house and then maybe down the line to curb any cafe, maybe a park city or going to come and stay in.


Yeah. James is how serious the James and William way of life it's going to be all your friends to hang around with you. You're you get guy.


Yeah. So that's that's the kind of plan you want to go. But yeah I want, I want, I want kind of I'm kind of sailing toward curb any kind of being that the full time thing. And I'm very excited about where it, where it could take us. Yeah.


I'd like to even do products and stuff like that. Yeah. Different food products. We began by selling food at markets. That's our background.


So we you know. So you sell your bacon every week. Yeah.


We have a column with the Irish Examiner actually that's it. Every Saturday, Saturday. And of course we do features every week for us and then we would do certain things. But like we're doing something with our board, with Waifish, we're doing like videos and stuff like that. So the online stuff is brilliant and it's a great way to get our name out there, but.


We're looking for a solid place now, so maybe a little guesthouse or something. OK, well, you know, if something comes up in care, we'll give you. Yes. Do we have water here? Yeah. You know. Well, thanks a million for coming in. Thanks for having me. Very enjoyable. I really very rarely blow smoke up some bizarre spot like you are a fucking gas man.


And it's been a pleasure to have you on. I'm I was in a bad mood coming in. I'm in a great mood now. I have to say, I more did say to ask you which one of us is better looking.


You know, she said which which one of us would be most would appeal more to the game in the gay men of Ireland knows you've both different qualities, I think.


And I let him don't. You are definitely more.


I would say you're you're a bit more cleaner than me now. I'd be more rugged.


Like I'm I heard the gays categorize men know the different words a little bit so I can categorize you maybe because you are both extremely handsome in different ways.


So I would say you would be categorized as kind of more like a bear or boxer, and that would be kind of someone who has beards, tattoos, that kind of thing.


You'd be more a jock kind of, you know, like I'd say you were a twink when you were younger. So it's kind of a handsome, younger looking guy. Now, you'd be more jock. I think it's the jersey I'm wearing. Yeah. So you're more jock. You're more a bear. So if the guy is listening, that's how you go.


What are the other big categories? We should just know for an otter? I quite like sex and officer, apparently I'm an Oscar party.


I'm a tank, which is horrible. It's a tank. It's basically I was a tank when I was younger.


I was kind of a little bit prissy.


Apparently I say that I was so I was kind of maybe I was a bit prettier. I wasn't very manly, if you know what I mean. So it twant is someone who's a twink who hasn't really turned into anything. I'm just kind of clinging to my, like, youthful. But we say, OK, say Zac Efron was a twink in High School Musical. He's now a daddy.


OK, you know what I mean.


Have you seen it now he's like barf das is still really stunning. So he graduated very well. I'm still clinging on for dear life. I need to got big and barf and then I can be a daddy.


That's where I'm headed. I need to get to the gym.


I want to be a daddy to daddy bear otter. And that's that's the kind of main ones. Yeah. Yeah, that's the main ones.


I think we're going to be so cool. I love this. I swear to God. OK, that's a wrap.


I love this. His junior Villalon team may have difficulty, but running with the ball or catching Perkowitz, but they're well able to break bones. It's time for an old furlong and it's time for Noles News.


No news. I just got north there from north. Well, young fella, I am laying low at the minute, if you get a call from the department, just say you don't know me and kicked him in the shins. Bastards, I have sent in to take my place this week, the one and only Paddy Fong. Oh my God.


We are in for three to get to those who are watching, obviously.


Paddy, Paddy, how are things like you've got a unique style. I've got to say first that.


Well, John, no, no. I mean, he's got the ground. It look a little scary. You've had to. You haven't seen him.


I haven't been around. I haven't been around, not all of them. He was expecting the Russians to invade with Putin or they never gone to school in town.


He whenever I felt, you know, you wouldn't remember what he he hit a pit, was just not running, you know, have you know when he hit a pit wasp named Dave Zirin named David. Yeah.


He bring around with him in his pocket when he got stung more times. Not a fuckin Putin.


No. Well, anyway, he's after shooting missiles. The wire. Yeah, I know.


You know, if you're out of your lungs, they can make a shot, you know. But she was waiting on out tonight.


Know, he thought at home, it's like, you know, he'd be shooting for you.


Let's, you know, put down your left from know happy home. I said it to camera is you get him if you something.


Last time I went out, I got shot as well. I wouldn't mind, but he asked me to come out.


She was on chat in sorry to run TFR and I pick and walk and we shook because I Falkenberg is there are there mops as I know Aurilia now watching TV news now know what he told me to, to let you know that they have banned smoking in Spain.


They can't even hang on three now because they said it's virus.


Yeah, serious now. No, I wouldn't go into the shop at Hyde. No, no.


I skim a few bits over the side level, you know, when you're delivering messages for for a local supermarket. Yeah, but I don't go in. No, I never finish up my life. I take a few bits, you know, and I see I absolutely was in the quarry. I live on the gravel, you know, let me know. But I take I had a scoop. I had a scoop with me. He had a mug and his take one mug, a gravel for myself or every door.


And over the course of 11 years, I had north to Florida and found, what do you drink? Oil well here.


He also said that Cannis tax nor, yes, Islamic militants have taken over a key shipping port in Mozambique.


OK, it's very important to me.


But he said, you know, all these places you'll be flown to Zakhar or.


Yeah, but he just said there's got to be fucking water anywhere just to let you know it'd be better to choose to be like, nor was he telling you about Iran, which was there when he met with you?


Yeah, we went all the time, wasn't he was the first man in Europe to drive an astronaut over the Alps.




I gave off on my brother in Rome. How would you know what in local news.


We have a missing beach, Nautla nor spotted in Dongzhou eating chips.




He's a white and brown checker and she have a collar around her neck that says Fuck Jomini, the presence of Sister Alison, name to the non me. And on the last a lot of money.


And Özal sister Campbell, the mini boss that did win the Euros this year.


Yeah, she couldn't believe they got bit by and I caught Froggatt and bastards she said it and truckster must be staffed. I do our jobs for the nuns and on a good breakfast and dinner.


Yeah we got your order. But you, you were, you were looking for a derby yourself. For you.


Yeah I was it a couple of weeks back there. I'm in the hunt and you go and you know Darren, what you have to do ahead of a dog. When I have a dog, I have no idea what it is. You want to do it up. I guess I'll give you a hand. Would you put a bit of cement and have you chicken? Well, I have chicken wire. We do it here on Monday. I have our one there, but I won't be around on Monday.


Here you go. I'm doing two shifts during the shoot for Heffernan blocked it out. Bruce McConnell had only one hour a week kidney from their matches.


You do not want to go to the gold.


You couldn't do the whites and he'd be shouting, Why you, James?


We need to know who's the one. I mean, no comment on the slot machine. It's how many hands on a slot machine?


One. Yeah, yeah. Because in me, keep your hands.


Or, you know, his brother, they call him the wheelbarrow.


You've only one leg. Well, well, no calls on U.S. Bolt. No, but that's a bit wrong. Yes, it's wrong. What about you?


Is it. We could do it. You couldn't. We we do it. You don't use their.


I don't know if you think I'm actually hiding them. Well, we want tablets and tablet.


Oh, I'm bringing down the rates and astro van liveries grandon. You get four five minute views.


Oh seven illegal fine. And we don't get hit by a magpie.


So I had a bag of magpie's and built estra for the gun club here for control of the model, not me. I was interviewed but I tell the parents that I'd be playing against the children and we nicknamed the boot. Yeah, because we won't kick in, but it's a fund for the children of their boots.


I mean, I get to Europe, I left the club and what it is these it costs me about sixteen year old trips.


I don't make much but we keep the expenses law, which you drink I'm sure what to say.


Oh no, no need to buy insurance.


Yeah. I got I put in a bottle of gin on the August or something. I want someone shopping. I got a back.


I did on probiotic drink. I borrowed it for extra for the Hilton. It's not a fucking job because she's gone.


She can chicken. So we're doing a dog on Wednesday.




I don't, I don't know when they're doing it.


Well, I'm doing the beds or beds and doing the flower beds and Baloyi and having it does our quantifier chaffinch er and the fucking seats let him walk up in bed isn't a problem.


They really were tells me. Yeah I'm definitely on Thursday.


No I hope you're not holding in Scotland.


Cavs and Donovans to see the new shade. Oh yeah. Big is lucky on the dogs. You have gone round like crofts to the dog like twos.


If anyone have money to Donovan we do, we do the shed. We do it at all. No.


Friday. Yeah. Friday.


Well it's. On Friday, the death of a woman from Tehran go, yeah, I told. Yeah, how is that going? Well, I tell you, I can't see it working. Well, I don't like a long distance relationship. There is only ten minutes, seventeen point four miles distance.


You well, you can freewheel down, but just a baker comandantes should walk and drink d if you got to do what you like.


The whole song says, don't get me far.


I'm she might do what we can. Yeah we do it. We answer.


Yeah. Would you have a few prati for me if you camping's sports. Yeah. Yeah I'll, I'll try to dinner.


You would have a bit of cash. Would you catch a job or you want to be a cat. You want me to be careful about this. Millie's going to nice and warm.


I have a few bob. Yeah I would one drink bottles medic's.


You would have got them all in one square. No one was able to make plays. Paddy thanks very much.


Bother sometimes. Right. Yeah. Oh, my God. In place of all four alone this week, sometimes right, sometimes wrong.


Or Paddy Fong in his book Good Genes.


OK. She holds the record as the first Irish woman to complete Tinder. Mara, what is your mystery topic this week?


Oh, you're going to love this. I have a question for you. Right. But I have a bit of a story to read after it so you can think about the question when I'm reading the story. OK. My question to you is, what are the social etiquette rules for booty calls?


So we got to email into the podcast for the purposes of this story. I'm going to call this lady Davina. So Davina said, I have a terrible story of a Croner hookup. I was in a dry spell there with no nightlife. My love life was dwindling. Myself and the Slaid from the time were talking on and off again for a while. It was purely sexual and we both just wanted some affection is easy on the eye, but has a reputation as a player.


He plays county senior gay and to be honest, I was in it for the jersey we decided to meet anyway. He collected me and we went driving around to find somewhere quiet or making small talk and I asked him how I had an induction for a new job. The next day he was asking me about it and seemed interested. Eventually we find somewhere quiet. We didn't have sex, but we did other bits. To make a long story short, he finished in about one minute.


He wouldn't touch me after that. I got curious, picked him because he didn't care if I finished or not. He kept saying that he was done and he didn't want to touch me anymore. We fought the whole way home. I called him a wanker and he said I had some attitude on me. To make matters even worse, I showed up to my job induction the next day and who walks in grinning only the same lad.


I met each other every day now and we never speak. Everyone we work with thinks he's useless. I just don't understand what goes through his head. I want to know what you think.


Is it important that a girl finishes to and do you think the power of the jersey is getting to his head? Yes and yes. Can I say it just from personal experience here? Right. There is four women, right.


There is one reason and one reason only why you pull a Jersey lad for a booty call. If a lad has the stamina to keep going on the pitch for 70 minutes, he should be able to do the same in the bedroom, even go for maybe a little extra time.


Oh, Jesus. You know, so I have a couple of rules here for booty calls, if you want to hear them. Yes, of course.


Can I just say more? You'd have no interest in an impact, so. No. Yeah, none. So at three simple rules for cars because like. You know, like they're saying have the agency is saying, you know, have sex digitally or not, but like, you know, it's not the same thing. You know, sexting just can't be three things. First off, let's put on a condom what I've been asked to and don't take forever know where the condom is.


No how to get it out of the wrapper and put it on. Right. Acting like you're trying to reverse the car into a tight spot. Just get it on. OK, so second rule, make her come. She's there for one thing and one thing only. And don't don't scrimp. And thirdly, if you do have a booty call, the girls don't gossip about it. It's just between you and her is are just there for sorting size.


A bit of discretion. So that's what's your take on this. And do you think this girl is right to be mad and what's going through this jury like, hey, does a man think it's OK, it won't last one minute and not, you know, get this girl off?


First of all, tomorrow, it is never acceptable for a man to last one minute. And I echo all three statements that you just made that in your ear.


Three simple rules are excellent, but I think particularly the last one, you said if you were a booty call them going around town telling people to vote, that's between two people, you know, who need a bit a bit of boom, boom, you know what I mean? A bit. A bit of love. I love it.


Can I add that this seems to be the worst booty call of all time, that they didn't even have sex?


Yeah, it seems to be not a booty call. It's kind of like, let's go and do bits. Do bits. This is a booty call.


Yeah. She said everyone in the office thinks he's useless.


So I presume she's told everyone in the office and she's definitely saying, like there are like Eisel uses to work and she's a really useless and is useless in the backseat the car.


But if they didn't have sex. Like what.


Like I'm guessing by this she give him or an all or a hand shandy and then like he was like, oh I can't be our singer Nina. Yeah, that's you can't be doing that.


This is like, you know, when you get the ball and you can pass it on to the next guy, you don't just under. Yeah. You've got to follow it up. Yeah. Go look for the return pass. OK, so protocols I would definitely say wrap it up. There's probably funny etiquette in that if you're like just hooking up.


So unless you're very open and able to say to somebody you haven't been texting like lads after B, how do you know what the person is looking for is like who's going to see it first? If you meet a girl and she's like, look, I'm just looking for a grant, but most people aren't that open. It's all cloak and dagger like that. You're talking to each other thinking it's going to go somewhere.


And then it turns out one of the parties only wanted a booty call. Yeah. So I think if you're looking for something like that, try and be more open.


I know, lads, maybe she's going to say, oh, my God, you're terrible.


But like, you know, if that's what she's up for to either way, she's going to respect you more. Just be honest.


Yeah, I think from the outset you've got a layer cards on the table and say what you're looking for is easy. Yeah, it's not like I say, if you were to say to ten people I'm looking for a booty call, maybe it might say like, well, like I'm looking for a relationship or whatever, but it's fair enough.


At least you've been honest and upfront, and I think girls and fellas in kind will appreciate that. So you've got to be up front.


So if somebody calls over your gaff and you. Given the biz like, you know, did you have like, you know, you offer them a cup of tea or like that's more exciting if you're just finished a close up in the dorm.


Like, well, how is it going? Or you're the one that I was talking to on most because it.


Yeah, OK, what are we going I've seen in avoid any crime, nor are we going to be going right in our the story. Holligan trying to film. Yeah. Do you want a film? Yeah, just trying to film in the background. What if it's some class like you or I on it?


Well, then you're obviously not her.


I would also say just enjoying what if it's like something you've been meaning to watch that don't put that on put on some you've seen before, even though you have no interest in something really funny like Friday or something. And then like you could be just, you know, change in positions and then you're in the background.


You're like, how come every time I come in to catch you, you're like, Oh, I love this bit.


Yeah. Again, sorry, I'd be terrible. Yeah, you are the worst.


Boudica, can I just refer to something that we got in on on that kind of letter in this land seems to have the ultimate case of post not OK porc, not for people who don't know is when a man can see Maxus.


Yeah. And then like just has like no interest, almost fear. Regretful.


I would say it's porc not is real for a lot of men out there. And like that's probably why he just came in, was like, oh my God, you need to get the fuck out of here.


That's what it's like to me that he wasn't that into her. Yeah. And then he was like, oh, this is a bad idea. He's got porc, not fear. Maybe, yeah, that's what it sounds like. Listen, I'm not a doctor of, you know, booty cards here, but, like, that's what it seems like is wrong with this guy. Yeah.


Derivate, do you ever feel like watching porn and then finishing or talking about what what am I watching this so wrong with me? Yeah.


OK, enti I know Marge Simpson like Jodie there is that stuff out there.


Oh yeah.


So, so someone told me in the evenings I just think of caputi.


Yeah. Why. What's the etiquette Morreau like after you have sex. Do, does your booty call have to then leave.


What if you want like you put a spoon in or something. Are you then blurring the lines.


No, I don't think booty calls should stay over because then you're just blurring the line. What if you do want a spoon and just say, I just want spooning and and then be like, don't make them breakfast in the morning anyway? Daphne, don't do that. So, yeah.


So just take my advice is just treat them like absolute shit. It's just that's just been a bad host. It's not Louis through documentary Swingin'.


So what, she comes downstairs and you make you make yourself like you are happy that you're having a nice breakfast roll.


I'll you let her know how you get home.


I don't care you. No, I think look, you need to I know some of my friends who over the years probably would have had booty call and stuff like that.


And it was just come in, get down to business, do the business. You're both happy, right? See you again. Nobody you text.


So even afterwards, if you're having a bit of cuddling or having a bit of crap still leave, you still have to be like, OK, it's been half an hour and I'll see you again.


Yeah. Or I think booty calls do go wrong is where people start confusing it with the start of being a relationship. So it's just like, no, that's why I'm be very make the girl come, that's all she wants. And then be like be nice about it to be respectful and all that. But just don't be confusing it with like beginnings of relationship because then it just gets messy. Yeah.


Yeah. It's not a rom com with Ashton Kutcher in it, you know what I mean too.


Like when you're going out with her you can disappoint her in bed, but you know, before that know it. Listen, anybody who's in the situation watch no strings attached. Would would Ashton Kutcher in. But just bear in mind that in real life it doesn't end the same way that that means, OK, it's not all roses and a whole lot, but hopefully you get your kicks.


Can I make one suggestion if this girl wants to get back at this lad?


Well, you can make it more. It doesn't mean we condone it, but you can make it OK. Now, this is just next time he's playing a county match, find out who he'll be makan and maybe slide into that. Ladd's DM's with a couple of things that he could possibly sledge that ladder.


Basically, you are a ruthless, ruthless woman. They're cold as ice. Oh, my. Oh, you are the ice woman shit.


Oh, it is a lot lads, you know, going out to match this weekend. Probably worrying, so probably worrying more lads around the country.


It's that's some Cruella De Vil shit right? There is. Oh not on that note.


I'm glad the season's over a bit more.


I want to be let down the county team once again. Well, I had another brilliant mystery topic. Mark, thanks a million. Thank you. Oh, my God. She's a she's a bad bitch.


What would your manager look, John, I want to call you over there. Just heard you picked up your one and only lasted a minute. Just can't have that in the Tina. You're dropped.


You're dropped.


Don't forget to read, review and tell your friends about the to Johnny's podcasts. Use the hashtag to Johnny's part. That's a no to Johnny's part. And you can get in touch by email and podcast that the two Johnny three or you get as an Instagram actor to Johnny's Get in touch suggest future topics, gives your correspondence to holler. Finally, it's your time and don't forget your dirt. This week is brought to you by the good people at 48.


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So make sure and do that. Now that's your homework from from us here at the two Giannis podcast. That's your homework. Just you know put some positivity out to the world. Jonny if you got to your doctor what have you got.


I have some family home from the other side of the world.


They've gone through their quarantine and all that and they were living in Africa and he gets a great kick out of Irish people. He's in the shop and like Irish people, like eighteen year old gone.


My God, it's nearly too hot to handle this. Like cousins are living in Kenya. You're going like camel.


Yeah, it's not that.


And can I just say this week watched semipro. Yeah I will facenda it.


I'm going to say it's probably one of the most underrated films of all time. Yeah. It's brilliant. And to me it is the best welfare reform. I've said it. I think semipro is Will Ferrell's funniest film. And a lot of people don't know it, like Anchorman Stepbrother's Talladega Nights. Yeah, but they're probably the big ones. But this one right up there, this this one is the best for me as well.


I will echo your thoughts and I'll start with me. Roaring in the island, who was on this podcast before has broken a world record for the longest one man online gig.


Eight hours he done nonstop singing.


Wow. Oh, Jesus Christ. Eight hours in a month.


Like, I betcha he wouldn't disappoint a woman in bed. No, there's a man who always finishes, you know what I mean? What? I credit him. I love watching his leaves and stuff. And it's very good if anybody wants to check it out. He's on Facebook roaring Daylon. And he's got a Papaleo like a tip jar.


And he's doing gigs pretty much every Saturday night is here. As we watched one, when we're out in the backyard having a few drinks, it was great crack and credits and he's broke world record. So it's and news on his podcast. So he used to have a poll bonanza ratings that's that's first came across from.


Yeah, he's and he's honestly, of all the guests we've ever had, he was the most nervous I've ever been.


So do you have a Durjan? I don't really.


Just at the end, the club championship and they're like this year has really kept on going anywhere.


Owner says, I know a lot of people are probably feeling the pinch and struggling during this pandemic like, you know, in many ways life. But for us, they're all out of such a good outlet for us. Yeah. With no gigs, no torn. Yeah. No gigs, no touring. And it was just a nice break and it was nice to be back to normal and be back down. This year was like going back in time and now it's over.


So it's great.


It's a great year for us to meet young lads. Yeah. That's around the town. Would have really thought we were tosspot but yeah. No they're not. Yeah. No, no, no, no they're not. But at night it was nice for us and we had some great character and stuff like that. It's pretty, it's over.


We'll be back.


This will definitely show that the championship can be split. Yeah. The club and the intercounty championship can be done. This is the way to do it.


Yeah, I was a bit too short this year, but yeah. Just extended a bit lads, especially for junior year and so tip. OK, thanks.


That's enough because there's none of us interfering with the county scene. Sure. Yeah that's a fact. And what we've done lads, make sure if you want to sign an open door Giannis you can sign up to the Patreon and thanks to everybody who's been listening to our single dance in my kitchen I hope you're enjoying it.


Videos gas a lot of people listen to podcast, send in footage, tune in and see yourself.


Yeah you know what we do. Why don't we just play out with your people in a good mood on a Monday? Oh, you go down, right?


It's coming up. Our singles dance in the kitchen. It was a number one or number one. So for me, Johnny smacks me, Johnny B.. Imma enjoy this with Clare.


Good food in my kitchen. Part of they found will be around Bergeron's Capri sunscreen of me on site.


Dorn's drawing on a can on the biggest juice get loose on join a party that's on the glass to make the features. I can be rich on a Bluetooth speaker. Always going to stay in school until you see the deck chairs. Hot dogs sucking diesel from SAG again. To make friends with your neighbor from an ice cream slice in a way for chicken stew or looking for.