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48 are a mobile network that's questioned how mobile is done. So we're asking, what are your weirdest questions this week making?


Wexford asks, Would you rather have the power of light or the power of invisibility, invisibility before hand?


You could finally know what people are thinking about me. I just sneak up on them and hear them given over me.


I would sneak into the Kokanee dressing room. Oh, I hear crazy things go on in their power of flight before they go on holidays.


Yeah. Where are you going? Wherever I want. Yeah.


And then you don't have to queue up. No need for passport. You probably don't have to go through security and you don't have to try and ram that carry on suitcase in the little thing that they say it's meant to fit in, that it doesn't really fit in. That is all just a lie.


Well, what are you going to do with your luggage when you're flying? I'll just strap it onto me, get a good rucksack, I'll invest in a good rucksack.


And what about if you have someone go with you, Mrs. or something? She's going to hold hands with her lot, which is ratchet her onto me, if you like the snowman, you know, I mean, flying through the air, walking.


Oh yeah. Yeah, she worked for him. Plus do I have wings.


Well, if you want, I'd rather have an engine check out how far delayed are changing. Not mobile plans starting from nine ninety nine to let you do more with your data. You can donate it, share it, save it and more. Try it for yourself.


Get your free gigabyte on forty eight today and check out your dirt later in the podcast for a chance to win cool prizes thanks to 48.


Instead, to Johnny's podcast, to Johnny's podcast, to Johnny's record, the podcast. Hello, hello, hello, welcome to the two Johnnys podcast, bring you all the mayhem and news from the world of the two, Johnny Johnny B.. I'm Johnny Cmax. Welcome to podcast. One hundred and thirty coming to you from CARE County Tipperary, which has become a very popular destination for staircase owners and people going on first dates. Thanks to this podcast. On this week's podcast, we discuss the social history of the Irish Pub and its evolution into the future.


He claims that Matthew Ireland brokered a peace deal with the Native Americans and Ice Cube used to smuggle fags for the North for long, will be here with the news. The site of Paul Miskell dancing in the new Rolling Stones music video has given her serious heart palpitations. But Maureen is still alive. She'll be here with her mystery topic.


And as traditional as you're propping up your messy friend and trying to convince the bouncer he's OK, he's OK.


We run off the podcast with our yards and its little week before commencing with proceedings matters arising from last week's podcast.


Yes, Mr Chairman. Michael and Shirley got in touch Sunday, July 28. Myself and my good wife were returning back to Wexford after visiting family in Galway. We decided to veer off into care and after a quick spin around your lovely town, you'd know well, it has a tidy towns committee. We made it our business to find the shamrock. As soon as we entered, we knew we'd found the right place.


People looked at us knowing we weren't locals. But what a sense of welcome. Moments after ordering, I was looking around wondering how many of the characters are real fictional or a bit of both. So when the lady took our order, I asked, Would you be, Margaret, that the two Johnny's always mentioned in their podcast? I and she said moments later we met, you guessed it, Huey, a very friendly man.


Hughie went behind the bar and got us a signed card when he heard we had purposely come into the famous lounge as we were fans of the podcast, Manchester United versus Chelsea was on the big screen in the corner sitting near the TV or the man chanting the name of Jack Charles.


I drew that was I was literally going through all the characters Noel mentioned, trying to figure out who he might be. When Margaret came down with the food, we chatted some more. She told me that a man that's often mentioned on the podcast was sitting behind me, Councillor Andy Maloney. I asked her, is Dermot real?


And Margaret reckons that it could be Dermot O'Connor, a Kerryman, looking around the pub, observing the many pictures in general character of the establishment. It was easy to imagine the good times enjoyed in this place. We got talking to the cops beside us. She was convinced I was the image of her son.


She told me she once was told she looks like Philomena Begley is that Margaret made it her business to come down chatting to us after we finished Army.


She's such a lady.


She was so appreciative of us calling in because we'd heard so much about the poor and that she spoke so highly of you would be an understatement. It wasn't just a case of saying the right things. There was a real sincerity in the manner in which she mentioned your names.


She told us how it all started five years ago with a gig in the pub that we weren't even going five years ago. Sorry, Margaret. Margaret, she said. That was a brilliant night. She told us to how you always were so decent in the pub and bringing business to the gay club as well. We even discovered through a three way conversation between ourselves, Margaret, and the copper bursitis, that Johnny B was recently seen in a takeaway with a woman we shall call shock.


Shock. We shall call into the Jamrock or when we're in Tipperary the next time the food was great, the people were friendly, and it was nice to see such a tremendous sense of goodwill towards you both.


Best of luck in the future. God bless Michael.


And surely that's that's up, dear, with one of my favourite pieces of correspondence of all time.


I can tell you that, no, we did not start five years ago in the Jamrock. Oh no, we did start close to the shamrock, but not in the shamrock at slaughter centres.


In this one highlights. I got this DMN the other day and the girls told me to send a D for LAF. This complete stranger sent me this. Just wondering, could you ask your listeners why the fuck do you fellas do this? It's not the first time it's happened to me. I replied for laugh just to see what he'd say and well, I got some shock at his reply. He offered one hundred and fifty or for the video. So just let me get this DM for do you want to be your man?


I'll be your one. I'll be your man. Can you do a fetish video of me nodding sexual or naked, if interested, I'll buy you. I'll want lots of videos. So great money for you.


How did you find my profile and what videos would you be looking for? I saw your profile when I added someone else. And Todd, I'd ask if you were interested. How do you feel about squashing bugs like snails or crickets, etc.? Easy money. I'll spoil you if you do.


I'll even buy you tools to for future videos if you are interested.


Now, I tell you, as a connoisseur of Internet video, Internet videos, I have seen so much stuff in my time.


But women squash and bugs and snails. What did what did the snails ever do to you know, I was getting off on the snails.


The strangest fetish that you slimy best I've ever heard. Is he at home like, you know, going 90 to snails.


He's at home watching David Attenborough Hundred and fifty quid. And the money that was questioning people.


Yeah, but Flora, it's all I didn't take up the offer, I'm guessing. No, I don't do it. It's a slippery slope in should be kicking dogs.


And last week's Mars mystery topic of premature ejaculation.


You won't hear that national radio. An anonymous farmer was in touch a couple of years back. I was free and single, living the dream, swiping right at and with a pulse on Tinder.


I was working down in Kilkenny, so I hopped onto Tinder while eating lunch one day and matched with a grand looking gardener from the area. After a bit of chatting on Tinder, we exchanged exchanged snapshots and decided to meet up. I was from a bordering county, so I said I'd book a hotel and stare down there and work around there for the day of the date and the next day anyway, cut to the chase.


We got a bit of dinner, went for a good few drinks afterwards and a bit of heavy petting. We went back to the hotel when we got down to business. Let's just say the gun went off early and the Lord was blown after a vote to POM's. I thought to myself, fuck this and try to carry on with a fairly flaccid lad. Let's just say it wasn't going to plant a lot of detail here.


After another couple of minutes, the gun misfired again. He'll have to get that looked at and I deposited a second trailer load in her. I said, fuck this and pulled out. She looked at me with despair and said three words I'll never forget.


Are you best are? Yeah. Best bet I didn't reply in my intoxicated state.


I just booked a one way trip to the land down under and thankfully got the job done and just rolled over and went to sleep. In fairness, she was fairly gamey and came back at me the morning after for the ride before I headed off to work the next morning. I had no bother getting the job done. Safe to say there was no second date and no more contact since it's a pity I never worked up around the meat area. I'm a farmer with a bit of road frontage and a good old job with the Department of AG.


I think myself and more might have hit it off. Please keep me anonymous as I get enough abuse from farmers without giving them any more ammunition.


Or, um, why did you never texturizing again like he seemed to have a good morning.


Like yeah, maybe he was embarrassed. You know, a double dose of gun going off is fine.


It's fine. Moira, would you have given him a second date. Probably not. I did know that he did the right thing and went down under, he didn't leave our hanging.


So, you know, yeah, maybe he thought the road frontage and a good job Marla would have done it for you.


It's kind of like when you see land, like I need acreage here, which we took another anonymous email came in and it says this is like, what height do you 52 acres.


And another anonymous email here.


When I was in first year in college, I got my first girlfriend and finally done the deed. Unfortunately, though, there was no one nightstands or challenge matches before the big championship game.


It was the first time for both of us. So we were both nervous to see I was in and out.


Like a flash would be an understatement. I was so embarrassed. The worst part was that she was so nice about it that it made me feel worse, as in I'd let her down or something. I'd love to say that it was unreal in the repair, but not exactly. Turns out most of my friends went through this. It doesn't happen much anymore to me, but by God, it was mine. Cheers, lads.


I love the analogy of, like, you know, his first time having sex. He compares the two championship game. Oh, yeah. He didn't he didn't have the train and on you know, he hadn't played well in the challenge game yet. No challenge came.


Your first time is like your first boxing match. You're going out swinging and then you're punched out. Yeah. You don't know how to find yourself.


You should have had the tactical tactics, right? Yeah. But you don't know how to conserve your energy, right. Yeah.


What do you got to manager.


And just like listen, you know, like, hey look who's on fichus stands on the square. He knows his limitations, you know. Yes I know. You know your role.


Colonoscopy. Here we go. Kiran said yeah it came up lads and he just had to share this gym a good few years ago. I had a major scare with some serious stomach trouble. Ambulance called intensive care emergency surgery the lot, but made a recovery back to junior B football.


A few years later, I started to get stomach trouble and it was getting seriously worried. The doctor sent me for a colonoscopy. Being the Heidi fucker I am didn't get fully sedated.


And the consultant was there showing me the inner workings of my bowel on a screen as if it was match of the day. When he then asks, What do I workout? I answer, I'm a plumber. At that, he says rather loudly, no longer come here. I start getting worried that maybe something bad is on screen or something. He then told her, this lad's a plumber. Mind you, the camera is still up my arse. She then proceeds to tell me that her washing machine on.


And if I could have a look at it for her, I told her to bring it in here and give it back and give it a score.


These are the funny side of it. I told her to check the filter and she said she'd get the husband to do it. I was laying there thinking, what sort of place is this? Very professional. Anyway, keep up the good work.


Good luck. And how has colonoscopies become a topic on this podcast?


Martin ceases to amaze me. Now, coming out to your ghetto. We talked about that and an anonymous listener was in touch. I started listening to use back in February as I was doing a pre-season run challenge. And your lovely vises indoors kept my legs moving around defrauds. I was listening to this week's podcast and had to finally messages about the young fella trying to come out to his junior team or even from a broad club.


And I'm be after a five year struggle. I came out to my boyfriend. It took another five years till I finally told my family. Thankfully, everyone took it well and myself and my boyfriend are still going strong.


However, I did that, I did get that niggling feeling on later with the mortgagers. Norn, an extension of the family, didn't know my court situation. Eventually I told one of the girls, not a top player or one of the older team members, and said to her that she could let people know on my behalf. I reckon the whole club knows and I've rarely have anything said to me on or off the pitch in regards to that young lad.


Can't think of anything more awful for him than a dressing room announcement. There is no pressure on them to come out. He doesn't have to tell anyone he doesn't want to. And if a full speech isn't enim tell someone during a drill and see what happens. Finally, the gear are looking into being more inclusive for the LGBTQ community. So there might be some stuff on a gay website sooner rather than later if that young lad is seriously struggling with how to balance his sexuality and gay hopped the rails, this lady says Dr.




Indeed, while solid advice and on laws and a listener has Messers message saying On the topic of dildoes, me and the missus had a box of toys brilliant addition to any relationship.


Rabbits, glass did laws, pullet vibe's cock rings and magic wand. How does a real barony bag of stuff.


The director's court of Harry Potter, some class Krak on real stuff when a vibrator is put under your balls.


How are we reading this? Don't get in the way.


Also, I'm the guy another listener mentioned about putting their light into a pint glass and tipping the bottom. Unfortunately, glasses are changing and I can't do it with the new Carlsberg glass and God help you.


Poor devil was your party trick ruined on another did long story, me and one of the lads found a big black diddler, brought it out on a night out, having great crack, throwing it around and swinging it around the place. All fun until this huge bouncer came over to take the dildo off us.


My mate lobbed the dildo back to me and ended up landing on the bouncer's head and sticking to it.


I'm not buying that. And I thought we had some laughs.


Bouncer was in stitches, kicked us out, but gave us back the dildo granoff I'd rather be left in and he confiscated dildo. Yeah.


What are what are a group of lads going to do out in the street with a big dildo, you know, you know, a street performance of a OK and anonymous lady said as well, Dear Johnny Zamora, I love the podcast. I'm in Australia. And after literally just starting a job last week, I have lost it due to the second lockdown over here. Oh, that's a DOS. It's such a kick in the teeth. But your podcasts are helping me get through these tough times.


Anyway, this literally happened only yesterday and I thought it was too good not to share. I'm from Cavan and I moved to Australia in August with my boyfriend. We're together nearly eight years. No one had a break for around maybe a month. In that time we were born and finally year in college and a bit stressed out, but happy to say we got back together and all has been good ever since during the break in our relationship. I'm not going to lie.


I was missing the dick.


I didn't have any interest in finding another fella as I was still in love with the long term bye. But I needed something to get me by. In the meantime, I finally made the choice that I would buy myself a little something online to quote, get the work done. I ordered myself a bright pink deadlock, which ended up being way bigger than expected. Me and the boyfriend got back together soon after.


Shopping online is always jumper. It doesn't quite fit so hard to get sizes. You never know. I mean, in one brand is different. Another phrase is when the boyfriend got back together soon after this and I forgot all about the Diddler.


I hate it in. The dressing table in my room underneath to pull out draws the little gap in between the ground and the bottom drawer. Sneaky.


I thought it was the perfect hiding place for it, as it had been, as I had my own room. And to be fair, no one would have any reason to go pulling out all my drawers as time went on. And I forgot all about. About a year or so later I'm packing up the last of my stuff at home for my flight to Australia in the morning, running around trying to remember everything. I finally leave for my flight, leaving behind the bright pink dildo at the beginning, a call with my older sister, who the market in Dublin returned home to Kavin to work from home there.


She works as an accountant and has been working hard for years doing her CPA accountancy exams. For those not familiar to 15 of these exams in total. And they are supposed to be extremely difficult with the pass percentage that must be obtained.


Seventy five percent being the Brandywine out a family, she continued to work and study, as she has for years.


And finally, the day came for her final exam. The exam was on Tuesday, just gone by, which was actually her birthday too, with the time difference. I decided to ring her there before her birthday and the exam to wish her the best look. I spoke to her on the phone. She informed me that she had to sit the exam from home due to Corvet. She was talking me through the process involved that she would have to set up three different monitors at different angles, pointing at her so that the supervisor could ensure she wasn't cheating.


If she was even looking up for too long, she would be suspected of cheap. She had to tautly got out the room and posters would need to be taken off the wall, all books removed, all carry on. It was the first time this had ever been done, so there were being extra cautious. I wish her the best look. I told her I'd ring her again tomorrow for her actual birthday. Needless to say, she was nervous that these exams have a high fail rate and sitting sitting at home was a new element in the works.


To the next day I see my sister trying to ring me. I answered Yelda on the phone. Happy birthday, she responds with you.


Piece of shit. Confused, I said, Come again, she continued. I could actually kill you right now. Even more confused, I answered. Well, you're talking about. I haven't done that. She responded with your fucking dildo.


I paused for a second in denial. I had to think for a few seconds and then it hit me. I was speechless. I couldn't even deny it. I asked, how did she find it? As it turns out, she decided to sit the exam in my bedroom right before she was due to start the exam. The supervisor who would be watching her sit the exam and the monitors asked her to remove the drawers from the desk. She would sit in that to ensure there was no chance of any cheating going on.


She removed each drawer one by one, and then the supervisor asked, Can you also show me the area underneath drawers?


Well, to my sister's absolute horror, she was forced to hold off her little sister's bright pink dildo, too.


They were both speechless, not a word. And eventually they proceeded to begin the exam. For the next four hours, my sister sat her final exam, my big pink dildo beside her. She said any time there is a question she didn't know the answer to, she would just out to stress out. She thought, well, forget it. Truly can't get any worse. I couldn't stop laughing when she told me, look, know, if I had sent her flowers and wine and chocolate for her birthday so she couldn't get to me, I'm honestly still shocked.


They fucked up the exam for her from halfway across the world. A great story nonetheless. Not sure they can. They will continue sitting exams at home like this. I'm sure the supervisor might have a few things to say about anyway. If I win them this week, I promise to give it to her as an additional birthday present. Something tells me I'm going to be trying to make up for it for a while.


Damn, that's crazy. I like that. That Tingle went somewhere.


The examiner of like, oh sorry. How bad do you want to pass. That is wrong I should tell you is wrong.


Hashtag Save our chicken rolls.


Mike from Kerry says I'm over here to Manchester and haven't been home since Christmas due to the covid deli's aren't a thing in England.


Hence the only chicken rolls myself and the missus can get our home jobs. Your constant talk of them is driving me mad and giving me a serious craving. Maybe you could start a campaign to bring chicken rolls international. And he says the best chicken rolls down and Kerry are the Rex Garaging can only. That is where I got mine when I went Claman. It was good. It was a fine. Yeah, fine chicken all but you don't get a bad one.


We actually sat in the airport in I don't know where it was somewhere in America, and we sat genuinely with James for twenty minutes thinking about how we could set up an international chicken villarroel business. The Chicken Roszak. Yeah, chicken. Chicken Roszak.


It's going to be called we're in this the airport in L.A. has a big jersey. Mike's a big subsects.


Yeah. Yeah, it's talk shit. Shit. Yeah.


So that's where the idea was spawned. So we are going to listen. Hopefully someday we will take chicken.


Phil Odds International Dillons. They had got a chicken villarroel from central side to Coolac industrialised.


They're five euro and all I got was lettuce and cheese. Disgraceful. He says it wasn't disgraceful Dylan.


It was outrageous. And Patrick emailed to say, I work in a. Petrol station near nove and an above, you have to do the rest of this in your meat accent, my meat accent isn't great.


I used to live in me than all the bodies are just on the vocal tones.


OK, well, what about what gives your accent no M.O.. That's not as good. I'm gonna lose it. No, no. I knew a lad and he was like, er can you move your kale.


SUPERVALU in the dark. How much is the tequila. How much is that tequila. Ceiba. I'm gonna do the talk to have I åkerlund pronounced orange and is there a meal and.


Anyway, whatever he says above the deli, there is a sign stating hot chicken roll for seventy five oh Regius.


Now, any brave soul that decides to go through with this, Parvati's gets a lovely surprise when they rock up to the tier and the actual price comes to 360.


Why on earth the boss man decides to keep that sign up is beyond me. But the sigh of relief people must go through must be class.


Come on, Mr. Boss Man, you've got to get you've got to give the people what they want. People another tequila.


Hey, hey.


How much is that the cake.


I thought I was going to come in fashion and we put it in SUPERVALU getting basically you and I swear to God, once she said that I was like what I picked around for about 20 minutes is like, just say something, say your name, whatever Pat said in relation to using chicken villarroel as currency lads, when I was in the old Mary Dry in Limerick, myself and lads came up with what we called Dutch currency, a kind of Dutch gold was a euro and was all we needed to barter in 2009, day after a night out.


The only cure was the chicken roll from Bobby Burns. One of the lads used to pay me in Dutch Gold to get him a cheque. And this was a weekly occurrence. And when you include a bottle, it looks at orange. It came to handy five candidacy for mayor. Nice, sweet, right. Who's going to get the two Johnnys podcast Moag this week sponsored by Kacie Sports. You can buy a law to Giannis March there and we'll have new ones common in the near future.


Johnny who's getting well more.


Who do you like for the Mogg The poor girl who thought the accountancy exam was a bright pink dildo fighter.


Yeah it's between them now and the Shamrock Lounge for me.


The painting though is bad during the exam and after a year it would distress. Yeah. Yeah. And I guess look to Capullo into the Shamrock Lounge.


They got assigned to Johnny's card so. Yeah. And they got to meet Margaret. Yeah. Yeah. OK. Did they have. They have already won in life.


So Dildo Girl Pink the big massive oversized Dildo Girl, the female podcast that the two Johnny three. You are this week's mug winner. Give your details in and moral will. Sokcho will get that. We'll go to your poor sister. You know who's who, who thankfully is now, you know, stress free.


You know, the weekly round of what's been going on. Well, I'll tell you one thing. That last weekend was a bank holiday and we didn't drink. We didn't drink.


Good bye. Good bye. It wasn't it wasn't over. You know, I wanted to have a few drinks. I really wanted to have a few drinks.


But do tell John we were on our radio one with our good friend Marty Morrissey on bank holiday Monday morning. We were take care of by 8:00 in the morning. And as we pulled into our we were packed up outside.


God bless him. Didn't John Hume Day?


Yeah. A fair old man, a fair achiever, great dairyman.


And we walked into our tea and the producer came out to us and said to either of, you know, John Hume personally or have any John Hume related stories. And we had to say no.


And as it turned out, they couldn't make space for us on the radio because they were having obviously a John Hume special for his passing. So the two of us and Dermot Gavin just sat there and waiting our Artie, and we turned around and drove all the way home again.


And it was like, let's get a picture and fill us in. That's scabbed constellation Merete for the bank holiday weekend. I've just missed that one, even though he looks hilarious in the picture. Yeah, yeah. He's wearing an old hat. He's wearing an Aussie.


But that's this is the crack you're trying to get played on Irish radio.


This is the crack sister are like because you're like, listen, I hope you don't hear this.


I rang Johnny on the Saturday and was like, tell them I'm sick. I was like, ring them and tell them I'm sick.


Like and I can't I can't go on like you can't go on the radio and Johnny Vietnam and we'll have to go off now after promising to do it like we automative if ever.


So we had to that's that's why we were doing it like on a bank holiday Monday.


And I was like, listen, just call it in, Matt, tell them we're sick. And then when we got we were pulling in to the car park and and then they announced the sad news, of course, that John died.


And I said, Johnny, life can be hard for us to go on. No. Yeah. You know, everybody was like telling lovely stories about and what a great man he was. And it was quite sad, you know, was very sad.


And then, like, what were they going to introduce now from Tipperary to lads who were going to talk about, like, dog shit for the next ten minutes. So, Marty, thing about chicken rolls, so we were like we were like, all right, maybe like the writing's on the wall here. But we did get a photo, Marty, and we got a spin on the motorway, which is always which is actually becoming a hobby at this stage.


It's Lockdown's. That optimises the baseball. Yeah, that's what has reduced us to we went to the deli and we had a bit of a chat as well with a big crack of daylight for us.


Yeah, listen, some power ballads and they're going to have us back anyway. John, your management, Streamwood rolls on another Weakland. Well, are you a manager, your cautery?


No, I'm kind of I am a coach, I guess you would say, but I would like Coach Cmax. Yeah, but coaches kind of do everything on to me. How's it going? It's going well.


We're still undefeated. Three games in with the two wins and a draw. We got a draw the other night in. What can only be determined is probably the best hurling care I've ever played. Really? Oh, my God. It was sensational. Both teams played very well.


Yeah, I was very happy, but I was exhausted. After the game.


I came home and I was sweating more than if I actually played a game myself. I learned coach, I was like, I'm empty. You're going to have to. Your voice was really gone.


My voice is still hoarse. No. So if you're listening to this, you'll understand, like my voice, a bit different than most weeks. And it's from shouting like I showed up on stage, like you have a Moogs.


And my voice just completely went on the word whooped. And I was like, oh, thank God we're not going in a moment.


Yes. Because people are looking at me as if, like, I'd killed an animal or something.


But we got the draw.


We were one ten to four points down at one stage and we came back care are back. Slashers are back. Haven't.


Yes, no. But like, listen, any win in Herrlein in care is a great victory. OK, ok. Well we rock on another week. It was weird. I had to go over to the other team. Oh yeah. You know, like at the end their manager came over, they got tanks, bodies, you know, and then I had to go into certifiable mode where I just threw out a lot of cliches.


You what do you see? Like like we'll probably meet them again, hopefully.


Yeah. And like, you know, I was just like, you know, that's a fantastic team. Keep listening to me.


I feel like Anthony Daly or someone over. Yeah. Said me a few words and they said a relief focus maxilla, you know, because most teams like would be abuse and mealer.


Yeah. Yeah. And do them. Yeah.


And me them as well because like they know me like and you know, I mean one lad said to me in the last game that not this week, the week before their player went clauss, the line was you overline.


Probably not, but I put my arm off for silane for us anyway, you know, did it on to Sam and your man was like too much radiowaves in your head.


I was like, that doesn't even make sense, man.


I actually turn around was like, we don't really have the energy to even roll them.


That doesn't even make sense to many radiowaves.


Anyway, thank you to everyone who has signed up to our extra podcast out every Thursday with lots of extra crack and mayhem. And on this week's extra podcast, number twenty, we have a new segment we want you to hear. It's called Around the Town. And we heard from the one and only Councillor Andy Maloney about the tidy towns I remember on the road.


No wonder years ago. And I was coming down and a man was walking a dog. A big dog. Right. And a dog ate something he shouldn't have. It was kind of run a and a poor misfortune. The bastard was aboard the road and he was down on his hands and knees trying to scrape up on the finish. I had to stop the van and go back. And I said, look, I said, I understand. I said, forget.


I said I had to shovel here. I got to get out of the Senate, ordered up. That's how we could have done. In fairness to the guy, he did his best. Yeah. He thought he was at not. And if you were there today, you've had not. You know, the dog. I just got on with it.


You know, don't forget, if you do sign up to the extra podcast, you can listen to all twenty episodes.


It's not just a weekly one as well. They're all there in the archive now. For centuries, the pope has been part of Irish social culture, but unfortunately, many pubs have been closed since March. So we've decided to discuss the significance of pubs in Ireland, their history and how they might have all gone into the future.


Johnny, I'm going to take you way back over toward Bachman. Turner right back right all the way back.


So Ireland after the famine, pure depression going around Israel, that hardship twists and turns and holes in your shoes and fellers get stung by netanel damp socks, ran out northerly winds and tripping over the holes in the bog anywhere.


People drank a lot. But it was possible then to open any type of premises to sell liquor.


Bought, licensed and unlicensed and unlicensed premises were known as Shebeen Shebeens.


That's OK now. Then in nineteen or two in the Licensing Act of Ireland, it prevented granting of any new licences to sell liquor.


So the fact is that we have the exact same number of licenses for pubs in Ireland now that we had in nineteen or two. And in 1872 it became legal requirements to display the proprietors name all over the front door, which is a great traditional owner now. Yeah. It's cool, my name over the door, my name over there. Yeah, I've heard that when I've been thrown out of many the establishment. And in fact, if your pops didn't open on St.


Patrick's Day until nineteen seventy three, I that's crazy.


Patty's Day is like the biggest drinking day of the year.


Now, obviously, we've missed it this year, but like, yeah, I would say, you know, but years ago it was just like priests and crosses and altar boys marching on the now it's fire brigades and you know, lads and tractors with balloons on a papier mâché dragon.


You know, all the things in pubs, right, Snugs? They started in the late eighteen hundreds for a bit of privacy. Right. And while there was no laws or stipulation saying that women couldn't drink in the bar, pubs were still very much viewed as male only places.


And women were not always welcome the smoke. Therefore, a bit of privacy and a place where women could enjoy a tipple without the fear of judgment. Moira, I would love to see any publican tell you to get into smoke.


What are your thoughts on the.


And yeah, I was asking my dad about it. So like our family pub goes back like at least one hundred and fifty years and dad is saying that, like back. And so he started working in the family pub in nineteen seventy five. He was only 13. But like at that time, any woman going into the pub was really locked down and you were seen as being a bit loose like and my granddad there is two of them and you have just sexism with massively, you know, chauvinism.


All that was big thing back then. But my granddad, two women come into the pub and they're sitting at the counter and they order drinks. And my granddad told them to take the drinks and go down and sit at a table because he thought that the two women would be trying to scrounge strength off lads at the bar.


So, yeah, he had to say God bless our neighbour and pub had a snog and the pub up the road that touch. And that's where the women would go. But then it was kind of the case in the late 70s and early 80s where women, you know, it just went away. It was more and more women start going into the pubs then and just became more socially acceptable.


Yeah, no. Nowadays, like, I think publicans are like, get the women in. Yeah. Because women to come in and drink more to talk to the women. So I don't think you're a pub. Wouldn't survive it a woman nowadays.


Well in general there wasn't women in pubs until the 70s and it used to be men only pubs. Can you believe it. One famous one. And they reckon it was the Ireland's longest serving public and that served men only. And he died in 2003. And this was the famous one in Watford City, Tom Maher.


And it was moved to Harig. How are you? How do you pronounce that? Moondarra. Moondarra. Let's go with that house in Watford City. And he served only men in the pub for seventy seven years despite protests and pickets from feminist groups. Now, the gas thing is when he died, his wife took over the pub and she only served men as well.


Wow. Yeah. How is he working there? Oh, it was horrible then. Yeah. I mean she once he said strongmen stronger drink long hours and short skirts. A dangerous combination.


Tamira wise man.


I can't imagine you've gone into poverty. No women like Neuse. You know, just. Thanks, John.


I'm just really I was talking to the boys yesterday about like what we're missing in lockdown and the pubs because they're trying to get a bit of information for this.


And one of the lads just said, Jinhua, I just want to go to a pub. I want to walk in.


I just want to see you on Donath as in like obviously dressed up like, you know, I don't like to want to look at her. He just wants look at said, I don't want to talk, I just want to I just wanted to be back to normal. How I was going to burst into tears that made it major men only bloody sort of smell.


I smell the shite now lads. Fahrettin on it and Kabbage dinners. There's nobody putting on aftershave.


No men only Paul Drebin all normative bonus short you just zero effort.


You know you won't even wash. It's in your piggery. We have to pull with sawdust on the floor.


Yeah I was in Seans Baronets lawn. Yeah. They reckon it's the oldest pumping sawdust on the floor and it's cool.


It was a cool look like pubs that like just pubs nowadays that are made to look old. Yeah. It's a trend like, you know, whereas like years ago there were just shit.


It's just it was a big thing with the New York Irish pubs on the waterfront bars, famous places like the Dead Rabbit said it's soaked up. Whatever got spilled beer, water flowed. That's got a smell, though. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.


It's changed every day. There's no way there smell lovely. You know, the pubs have cleaners and like I remember like going to. When I was younger and you'd walk in and the smell would be like, you're still fork and drip tray. Yeah, manque, dirty like feet sticking to the floor.


Now it is all fancy. Remember when I moved to care at first, like we went to the gatehouse, which is now, I think closed in care.


Yeah. There turned into a health food shop. But at the time that was like really swanky.


It had like lights all around it and like it was bright and leather seat leather seats, real fancy.


And I was like, this is like not in an Rostker, you know, really. We were still to one side was under Florida was just like old carpet. Yeah. Very bad old carpet.


There's sawdust on the floor and Seans Barona Lawn, O'Conner's and Tall Tale and Johnny Fox is in Dublin. And if you know anywhere else, that's let us know. Now, one big trend in the evolution of the pub was in the 1950s and 60s. They had the dance halls.


Sure, band dancing was in dance halls. It had to stop for Lent. We before all of our time, but there was a dance hall in care called the Arkadia and they reckon it could take a thousand people. It was it up near where the co-op would be on the road.


Balou between right, OK. And there every Friday, Saturday night there'd be a thousand people in there dancing and not drinking.


That's crazy because dance halls only had a mineral bar we liked it made even more money if they had drink. Well I suppose a lot of these places were still connected to the church.


Yeah, right. And you had to have a licence to serve alcohol as well. So these dance halls couldn't get licenses, so they couldn't get licenses and plus people had no money.


True. True enough. Yeah. That's er the dance halls were some caracter.


Oh yeah. Enon women on the left. Men on the right who are still around and that really happened. Yeah. I guess I can imagine that nowadays.


Yeah. But lads like trying to go over and ask. I want to dance with no drinking. Yeah. Although it does happen like it's funny.


Like you were at a barbecue a couple of weeks ago like and we had a few friends over and like all the men that sat together and all the women like socialises in wasn't a problem staying away from each other anyway.


It was so awkward.


I did wrong. But they reckon the end of the famous dancehall scene was that pubs got extensions and started running music. So pubs got late licences?


No, like a physical build, a place better built on a big room and started having bands. Yeah, like here you had all the country and Irish scene jaivin, all that.


That's not the dancehall. That's like pubs extension's. So pubs cops aren't supposed to do music and kill the dancehall.


Yeah but like. So why did people used to go to the pub news.


Yeah they gossip.


There was no Fawn's either. So if you want to meet someone you probably had a good chance to meet downtempo.


Yeah. I imagine that was the thing. You couldn't imagine that now like where will he be. I'll be in the pub Saturday night. Yeah. Now it's like you'd have to like all going together nowadays.


I ring you on a Mozzie's when I'm outside your house I ring you like rather than go and ring the doorbell ringing. I'm not going out to Carole. So I used to be so casual.


I shall be down there Saturday night. Colin, you're on time. Like I think people that probably had more confidence that I hate walking into pulpmill no matter where it is like. I like the way he and dependability tell me exactly exactly where in the Pilbara they're down the back of Lake, right, so I can walk and keep my head down and get on the back.


I don't want something seriously wrong with me or I don't like walking in. If the street was walking in, I'll always let you walk in first.


I know, but imagine, like, the only thing on top was pretty much Guiness proper after that.


Yeah. The way it should be. All these fancy dance round drinking a weird looking glasses. I mean, the plan is your only man and Guinness aren't even sponsoring us to say that.


But if they want to come on board the welcome, we'll show that pint of plain Porter is gone to Guinness Draft. Yeah, definitely.


But care like in the 70s, I was asking people and they said all you could get was Guinness on tap or Guinness in a bottle, whisky, brandy and maybe gin.


And that was it. Wow. Would it have been the same in your place?


Yeah, my dad was saying that really back there 50 years ago. You're talking about nineteen sixties pubs. Didn't have, you know, the way if you go into pubs and they have all these fancy cooling system toplines, everything's run very properly. Back then you didn't have that technology. So if you bottles were the main thing, you'd either get a bottle of Guinness or a bottle of ale. And then if lads were hard drinkers, there might be on the whiskey or brandy, maybe a little bit of vodka, maybe a little bit of gin, and that was it.


But yeah, lads would drink bottles mainly. And then when the cooling systems came in, then that's when, you know, properly draught Guinness started happening before that, even if you are pouring, pouring a draught, you have a massive head in the Guinness and you'd have to knock at the top of the pint off and pour a bit again. So yeah, people, people prefer bottles back and kind of around our grand at the time. This chat is really making me laugh.


When you were talking tomorrow, I was having an asthma by another mind blowing thing, pubs having to close on Sunday afternoons.


Like the public needed the day off. And now pubs are quiet for a week or so before they wouldn't have been. Yeah, like a Sunday beer day to make money. No, no would go time at Shauntay. Yes, boss.


They had to have rights to sports.


And there was a time when you couldn't get served then in your own parish. But if you were like working, if you were travelling to Dublin and you pulled in, they could serve you well. Well, you were. You were you were travelling for business. You were entitled to a drink? Yeah, that's that if you if a traveler calls from somebody from outside the distance, then you're allowed to stay open during the so-called holy hour between two and four.


So the lads who go into the pub aftermath would be hoping that somebody would call in from Kings Cross because that way to be allowed. Keep going. So. You lied to me. Yeah, but that was only changed in 2000 and that law and it actually my dad got in trouble once over, so I was asking my dad, did he ever get done for, you know, and being open after hours and that kind of thing. And he said that there was one Sunday.


So my his great aunt, I think she died in 91. Her name was Lenar. She died on Christmas Day. And then two days later was her funeral. It was on a Sunday. So we had all the relations in and Bob stayed open between two and four and the guards arrived in a ten to four. And Dad explains that she was like, look at this is our family here at the funeral of our guard still dead. So there is like, oh, yeah.


Oh, look, if you, um, if you if you're a court opening after hours, we usually, I think five charges brought against you. And I think it was like a hundred pound fine each charge maximum average big money back then. Yeah. So my dad's and my mother went to court and the guards didn't turn up. The solicitor explained what had happened and judge actually find my dad the minimum amount which was two pound so and so they went for a drink afterwards and actually ended up leaving them at the two guards on their way to the court.


It was just hilarious what the pope was different. It was the place of all men. Mm. Like, my grandfather didn't get his first drink and he was thirty six. Wow. Yeah. Then he got the hang of it. He enjoyed it then. Andre drinking wasn't really a thing. Yeah.


Like you could get served me dad said they went downtown once at fifteen and got a whisky back and there was nothing to it but like you just wouldn't like it was dark and smelly and smoky.


Like young people didn't go to the pub and didn't have money and it just wasn't it wasn't an attractive place to be as it is now.


Yeah. No big change of which wanted to bring to people's attention a change in the law in the year 2000 right before this, in order to open a new premises, you had to buy two existing pub licences and extinguish them in the same town where you were. You're building a new one and your brand new premises could not be within a mile of another pub closed off.


So if I wanted all the here, you'd have to buy two or licences in care.


OK, so I have to basically wait for two pubs closed down by their licences. Ah, but yeah.


So there was no hardly any new pubs like OK, but then they changed this law in the year 2000, which means that if you had a pub licence in West Cork you could sell it to somebody and they can open up a pub on O'Connell Street in Dublin. And then the result is that the price of a pub licence went from about 40 grand to about one hundred and fifty grand overnight.


And we did hear a man was telling us he knew someone who paid a quarter of a million for a pub licence back in the boom. Oh, fuck. Mental stuff.


Some money like. No, no, no. It is what's the problem is going to be worked in another way if God knows, I think they're back around 40, 50 grand. Yeah, yeah. A bit more like.


A bit more like. But I was I was talking to my mother about like changes in the pub and stuff like that. And she was in I was like, would you know what she was like.


Not really an interesting oh we know Thursday and Friday and you know, say sure.


You know, Saturday and Sunday. Yeah.


And I was like, OK, so you were a good bit. And she was like, yeah, but we won't drink much. She was like, we never had any money. So if you were going out you'd be getting one or two drinks a night.


Like and I was like, come on now mate. You just said, that's me. Yeah. Honest to God, she was saying like it was all about to dance and then she'd say letters. Then it was a ballad session. You mean bad? At first I thought she said ballet.


And I was like, I can't imagine the populous Crazyhorse and ballet. And it's was like, no, a ballad session you door. And and I was like, so basically they all sat round the pub and then a fella could sing a song and then someone else could sing a song. And this went on and on a proper organising song. Only the best nights I've had like have resulted in a sing song at some stage.


Well, they'd have been mostly sober. Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm talking nine o'clock normally sing song breaks have for tomorrow and some lad is murder and Caledonian Garner. But this was a proper organized sing song. It's that beautiful.


It is nice. Yeah. To something, something classified. I'd like to. What's it to do Friday night.


Friday tonight. Then there was a band and then Saturday night was abandoned. Disco. Oh and then on Sunday night just to disco.


Right. So yeah my mother told me that her friend from, from England was home and that they went to a disco in Berlin and her friend had to be brought in a wheelchair to get the play back to London from exhaustion.


She was so exhausted from dancin. I was like, you sure. Like, you know, you didn't have alcohol poisoning. And the motor said, no, I said, we didn't drink that night. Drink. And Coke, Coca-Cola said we didn't have the money, we danced so much. Iran wasn't able to walk. She was cramping up. The next day, I swear to God, a wheelchair onto the plane, onto the plane.


She was exhausted from dance, held, it noted, to be taking cocaine and a whole lot to be dance for weeks.


It's scandalous.


Carry on, Dean. All the opening hours, no more probably does. But I asked someone today who worked in a pub all through college. I said, what? Closing time on Sunday? Hadn't a clue. Half 11. Not 11, is it?


Yeah. There you go. They're only guidelines, only guidelines. So it's, you know, Monday to Thursday, it's ten, thirty a.m. to eleven, thirty pm. And then Friday and Saturday is half 10:00 in the morning to have twelve at night and then Sundays you're not allowed to have 12 until 11 p.m. and you can obviously you can apply for the delayed license which gets you to have two in the morning or two, not cheaply by the time I think it's around.


You're talking about the cost of five hundred quid now, including legal fees for one night late least.


You want to be having a decent do like you want.


You want good drinkers in fact. But how you like. So when I was chatting to the motorboat right. Shuriken around like twenty something pubs in Rostker at the time.


I don't know how many there is no but significantly lowered now I would say maybe 10, 11, 12 just off the top my head.


So she was saying she was out all the time but they weren't drinking that much.


But there was 20 something pops. So how was to so many probes and how was it sustainable for those probes to stay open when people weren't drinking? Much like I think people are drinking more now and there's less.


But back then, there was more of people earning less, drinking more less often now, but heavier in one setting.


OK, so we're we're obviously binge, you know, binge, you know, like more your daughter would say that like, OK, people like young ones didn't go out and drink 10 vodka rebels yet, but maybe have an abyss four nights a week.


Yeah. Yeah, there is more people working locally and more people are self employed. So like you'd have a lot of farmers coming in for, you know, maybe a pint after the market or something like that. You'd have a much steadier Monday to Friday trade as opposed to really relying on the weekend trade to make your profit.


Yeah, SCAS, like I was asking about, like my nanny and granddad, like what would have been a crack with them. Yeah.


And she was like like she was like when women start quantifiably shit like that and then you go got your time, you know, and she might have a snowball at Google or a snowball is sort of like you're like I don't know what increased name but it's still still after ten minutes of Google and I still don't know what it is.


And I was like, yeah, but like, you know, she go out with granddad so. Oh no, no, no.


Or she'd go wherever he wasn't. So basically like, you know, the men would all sit with the men and the women sit with women like and don't don't cross paths.


Yeah. I just thought that was just the way it was. Right. Yeah.


Well, my dad built the new pub in 1986 before that pub was basically downstairs of our house. But when he built a new pub there was the main pub and then there was the quiet lanes which were, you know, with nearly like a bigger snog for women to go in and have their whatever. I think they said. The popular drink for women back then was half a bottle a half hour Carling Black Label, which are both disgusting drinks that.


No, I think the women were drinking the hair. Yeah, I won't have a bad word said against her. You remember Rits.


It's the choice that black and white ball, the mammy drink.


Yeah, I just have a it's OK. A couple of quick ones. In August 2003, the government made it illegal to have happy hours about government stealing our crack.


You know what? Fianna Fáil were in power and they didn't like that. It was just right up there. Strasser That happy year.


But in fairness to defend Fianna Fail and wanting history was made in March 2004 when I really became the first country in the world to introduce a smoking ban.


That must be the best thing that they ever brought into this country.


What do you remember at the time? It was said and will go on bananas. But there was posters going up of all men sitting on the side of the road. It was like a roebuck's.


Look what you're doing to this old man outside smoking smolkin. But like in fairness, Papasan massively changed even since 2004.


Like, I remember feeling like want to watch a match. Right.


And this was like pawpaws. Cantopop was an event. So going to watch matches was an event even like I know. Come in and land seconds guy at home and then to stop going to the pub.


But I'm talking DeGeeter, which has always been an T. Yeah.


Just free to free to air.


So let's say T played in the monster finals and we couldn't get ticket or whatever, like when I was young lad, we go to the pub with all the other families in the parish.


You could have watched it at home. Yeah, I could watch that at home, but we'd all go to the Pope pub would behave in blue and gold, everyone at tricolours on private property in the county watching the match. Now, if they were in a monster final, like people will probably go to the game and whoever didn't watch, just watch it on.


There's no beyond the pubs. I think that's I think that's really gone. But Tottenham, since 2004, my memories of pubs going to watch matches. First of all, you'd be blinded by the small changes.


But secondly, every pope was dark. Yeah. To o'clock, the thirty degrees outside sun splitting the stones. Somehow, miraculously, you can't see a foot in front of your face. And so it's so dark. It's a time warp. You couldn't even tell how many people were in the pool because you couldn't see the Biotrue small and used to sit close enough to the television that like you'd be on top of it to see it because the smoke would be so heavy sitting up on the ceiling coming out.


Yeah, yeah. It's crazy. Like how much they've changed. How how were the bulbs so dark?


I remember being in the pub when I was young and getting a bite to eat whatever, and it was so smoky and, you know, like bad asthma. And my dad said to the guy who owns the whole building over our heads, is that an extractor? And he said, it is. And I found I said, Do you ever turn on?


Not really. And he said, Delford has asthma. Would you turn on for a few minutes? And I'm not joking. Would in about a minute, all the smoke was gone from the pool and he turned back off again. Oh, problem solved. Oh, it wasn't asked to hit the switch.


Yeah. Oh, my God. But then they built beer gardens. Yeah, that's a smoking ban. Brought about the advancement of outdoor heaters that.


Yeah. People love drinking outside you notice.


Yeah. But like the smoking area now is like I know where my single friends that's where they go for a shift. Smurfing smartening. Is that a thing.


Smoking and flirting. Wow. Oh. Oh my God. Do you remember moral.


Definitely. Remember to take the cafe bar fiasco 2005.


The then Minister for Justice Michael McHugh wanted to bring in this licensing for cafe bar licences. He thought we were going to be like the rest of Europe and the publicans went berserk or oh, do you remember this more?


Yeah, it is. It's just I understand what he was trying to do. I think he was trying to make us more civilized when it came to drinking, but it was never going to. I know you can't you can't change. I think we love we all we all love the pope too much and we know how dangerous he can be, but we do love the pope.


So just before we finish right where the pope is going to be in 10 years, is there going to be popes genuine?


You know, what did this coronavirus has really put to put the squeeze on public? And Republicans will say beforehand they weren't doing great anyway. You know, people are drinking at home and off licences were affecting them.


And things weren't great of ours has obviously put them to depend on their culture and news now that we're not going to be going back to the pubs for God knows when now.


So a lot was made of drink driving because obviously that was the thing. Back in the day, the rural pope said he was socially acceptable to have airplanes and drive home. I don't think socially acceptable.


It was that was one thing my dad was saying that I was asked my dad about, like, what was the story with drink driving back in the 80s? And he's like, yeah, it was socially acceptable. Like the guards were actually way stricter about closing time than there would be people getting into the cars and driving. Literally, the guards would come in to the pub here every day. Lads be absolutely still getting into the cars. Guards wouldn't care as long as the rise of the pull.


My God, that's crazy.


Yeah, but but I have to say that the change for the rural poor is not just like one, it's more common. Kimmo people said it was going to kill the pubs and it took us a while to bounce back. Not everyone had the room for a smoking area, etc..


Right. Then they said drink driving was going to kill the pubs. But it's been incremental, like rural populations are going down anyway.


Yeah. So this isn't helping.


Where are they going to be care. Used to have a nightclub. Yeah. Cashel used to have a big night of Raspberry's. Definitely all gone. Mm. Pancha down to one pub run by a woman who must be 80. Yeah, so the village in about Pahlavi's gone Baluchis don't want pub run by a woman who's about 80 when, God forbid, you know, all women eventually go to visit God.


Yeah. Who's going to take on the pub like a country pub is a big responsibility.


And who what young person a 20 or 30 is like, you know what? I'll move home and I'll run the public.


It's a big Omnitech run the pub that probably isn't making money, you know, probably isn't going to be turning a huge profit.


What people would argue that publicans have been thought change like now if you want to get around the system, the licensing laws to open for Conover's Coplan required you could buy a pizza or even get somebody local who's Hajazi register to make pizzas. You could try them into the oven for two minutes and you could reopen your pub now. And Republicans will say, well, I shouldn't have to.


I'm following the rules have got in the past, etc. But that is what I'm hearing from a lot of people. I'd like more opinion. They're saying Republicans are too slow to adapt to what people want, like it's capitalist society clubs closed down because we stopped going into them.


So you reckon the Popescu go the same way as the nightclubs in a rural pubs?


I'm worried for rural pubs. Yeah, well, what the pubs here are doing in the village and I don't know how they're getting away with it, but the three pubs here are open on Friday and Saturday, Sunday night. And I was driving to the village yesterday and the village was full. Basically, they're getting a takeaway from the takeaway, bringing it into the pub, eating it and having a few drinks. And while while they're there, though, the food seems to be the way to go because it is way more popular to eat now than it was back then.


But I don't know. Do farmers really like pizzas? Bush, I think mainly sports in in your local. Yeah, hopefully it'll evolve, but I think it's important that they do because the are a community home like it's where you go like after a funeral, Kresten.


And you know, in foreign places I think what's going to happen NoDoz and what I see a lot of lads doing, a lot of my friends are doing as well, is like converting garden sheds.


Garages are being turned into bars like it's it's like prohibition.


They're setting off their own shebeens. And like, you know, as one fellow said to me, sure, can't I invite seven or eight people over to the house? And, you know, I don't have to deal with all the other dickheads that are normally down the hall.


He was like, everybody here.


I like. That's not the case. On a Saturday night in town, I was like, that's fair enough. But this is possibly also connected to the fact that where do you want to meet a woman?


Probably online. Yeah. You're not necessarily going to the shirt putting going to put your shirt on, go to the pole. Yeah. Yeah.


I don't know, like I will we end up like the Spanish Student Health Service and, you know, the pope has a whole different thing. Then maybe maybe it isn't a problem.


It could be finished. I mean, had to be broken that I've got trains across the street and crowds are so busy.


I know. I know. Those days those days just seem so long ago. OK, well, before dawn I kicked in the drink industry. Ireland put out where they thought it was going to go for the big trends, non-alcoholic beer that is growing. But yeah, it is.


Yeah, it's less frowned upon. Now normally fellows drink drinking non-alcoholic beer.


Like straight away people will be like, are you on your period. What's the story. What's the story there. Like what's wrong with this guy. You think. Yeah, it's more acceptable now.


Whisky and gin people are going for what they consider to be premium brands and then people are not afraid to buy a more expensive beer and drink less and train Irish stuff they want.


Drink experience is going to like a gin bar.


Yeah, they want to go on to fancy furniture and they want the nice lights, they want the balloon glasses, as they're called with the gin. People have higher expectations than they once had. They didn't bring back the normal pub, Guinness Music.


And if you don't like it, you get appointed to January of old school in nineteen eighty seven. There was eleven thousand pubs outside of Dublin, now around 4000.


We need it. We need a campaign. Let's save our jobs.


Shops are blowing up the licence and tournament licences. Yeah, and that's definitely effect in pubs.


I know that. So I hope we're going to have to say like we don't a lot of research on this topic and read the book.


And to be honest, my heart is breaking here as we do the topic. I'm worried for the poor.


Everybody's probably worried if you go on if you go on Daftari, there's 30 pubs in county Kilkenny for sale.


Well, I got thirty rural pubs and don't let the pubs go to the wall, lads, please. When the government if you're listening, which I doubt there.


Yeah, but when when they reopen we're going to have to support him. Yeah. Arrester going to go. That's all I'm and we all love department and not support. And then your village doesn't have one and then you win a match. It's Archie is when we go. Yeah. Give her a turn. Get someone to drive. You don't drop home. I have an. Beer, arguendo for a coffee? Yeah, I didn't say that someone in the 80s, two grown men are going to go out and pay for a cup of coffee.




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The adrenaline hits her system and she cries. And I've never been so happy to hear her cry, but always make you feel closer. He hadn't been fooled by my clever lie.


He was the first person I'd ever told the truth to the Dolphin Stories Slam podcast available now on ACRS.


A cast is home to the biggest podcast from Ireland and around the world. Subscribe to this show and hundreds more now via cast or wherever you get your podcasts.


According to this man, Daniel O'Donnell carries a Pickrell in his pocket named Gary Pallister.


It's time for all of our long and it's time for those news.


No news. No. Well, no. Or this Ajibade or anyone else out there music, you told me. I told you many things you don't, none of them. You said you were going to start yourself.


Well, I was talking to a good band, you know, the hothouse powers of kid. You know how those powers is make power.


The U.S. power, Jerry Power because my seat power.


Remember, hold your head to song about them needing a great power. Yeah. Yeah.


I went to Nina and I met Peak Power, MC Power, and he never cried, not even as a baby came out of the womb. He came out of the womb. Right. And his first words were getting on.


And in Quetta, the nurses were astounded. Kick him out of the room and declare. And he went on to be a schoolmaster.


Go away.


Yeah. And, you know, just Sister Deirdre. You do? Yeah. She went on to be a baker. She married Tom Baker.


Well, she's very clever. Very good. And then your sister, she went on to be a whore. Well, she married him.


Her junior sister's a whore as well. Yeah. Never married.


I know that's not HP's, I guess. Joel, you'd be good Disha doctors. Yeah, I did. Legends. I wouldn't see them come out him, but I thought they were actual doctors. Like toolmakers.


I went on, Lord, let singsongs tell me what Janta under me are trying to ask your man where your services after a game getting in a way advertising. It's not right, but they're not. Our doctors tell us if I have a husky three six five on the map. Hello. Hello.


And you said I brought two mechanics to see green cars.


I and I tell you what, I was bitterly disappointed the night I went to see him that much and I went to see how much I focused from that test.


Hello. I was shouting Brown bread, brown bread, I raw nather. They were laughing and carrying on. Carrie, can you describe for us everything but job training?


Yes, all is going to plan. We haven't actually gone back training yet, but you don't want to do too much, you don't wander too much, a tired leg won't kick a goose off a Greyhound trainer know? He said who? Michelangelo Painter. Yeah. Yeah, he had a few sockless on the side. And now I told you, we approach Kerry O'Brien. He is still sitting at his kitchen table, but he has changed a channel to energy and he's watching a gold eight hours a day.


He is expecting the movement to come back in his left arm. I need to know the sight of Mickey it and kickin pints for down in the 90s is is inspiring his kidneys to kick back into action.


Wow. He's going to be back. He's got a big man on the edge of the square.


Won't watch a language soup, as the old saying goes, said Elvis.


I did your polish.


I had to train hard. Yeah, one of them was arrested for I think it was Pablo for while he would Nitin Salmon in the river. Oh yeah. He got into a fight what he was gonna face. Right. He better head off. I'm trained. Well, what he has to fight to correct isn't if I know. Yeah but as the old saying goes, I start with two legs. Never better.


Harsh atención. You know who said that. Hillary Clinton.


As for John Paul, but still no phone call from Nadim Shehadi here. Opportunity team. We found one. I found out about Saaz and he's going to pay the jury. He's going to hold a job as well under the name Juan Carlos Montoya with that minimum wage.


And if we keep him under the radar, that'll definitely go on or give him a mustache.


I'm fairly sure he's firmly wonderly. Really hard to move forward.


But as the old saying goes, Porter and the defense bills would take rorter Gordon Pnina, who said the Dalai Lama himself affaires beer merchant in a former life.


Oh, my God. Oh, my God.


That even might even match tomorrow yourselves. Yeah. We're now in the lead up to a game.


Would you still hope would you still give me the old Donegal Bano?


Yeah. Yeah. Slip slipped the clutch occasionally in the first Magal.


I'm sure they wouldn't.


Are you telling me that you stay away from it before a match. I keep it, Matt Fraction Sun. One time I will manage and top honors.


One time I was on my way to Faren and I told him no sex a week championship.


She'd want me out for some days in a row or cheers by the time we get out of the group stage and we're unfair now.


And it was he who, much to the delight of everyone in the parish, Paddy Fang has joined Tinder Swipe Right for the man in blue jeans forever blue jeans.


His profile picture is a picture of his beloved Astra from when he entered last year St Patrick's Day Parade with Fong Enterprises.


There was, of course, a sign saying Fang deliveries sometimes right, sometimes long up.


Hey, we deliver for the supermarket. You know, already if you had to pass the bread, we had to pass the bridge. Babila orders bad tyres, eight more flats than a piano that's around here. Baby ringing I'm fine. Where's the messages? And he'd say we have a flat or up can be green but he we be dropping it off Lord. Yeah. He's on gender now. Yeah. So he was needed to cast a ballot and he took your advice.


So his first photo is the Astra, which is fairly impressive to a certain vintage of woman.


OK, and the caption says, would she drink while she would if she got for the women are going to love that.


Or the second photo is falling in front of the Vatican wearing a sombrero and then written on his chest is Frank Stapleton is dandy dandy then, dear?


It was you, an Italian? Yeah, it was Italian and I was just laying it down right now, Phong is no longer quite at hand and he may have put on four or five stone, but it's good to show that he has a bit of religion. Yeah, yeah.


Chicks dig that and it's hard. Photo is a Jack Russell bitch named Nora. Now, Nora is currently missing and that photo was perhaps intended for Dondi. Our Facebook women like dogs. So win Difford photo and found their profile is Funt as Tim has its christening and he's wearing his good blue jeans, a brown belt and a work boots.


Now women love this look apparently, right? So a man who can has children can do things. You know this is the look but now the photo is only from the waist down. Oh boy. When he put his best foot forward right now, the fifth for fifth and final thought on Tinder profile is a painting of a horse.


You just wanted to show that he had a bit of culture in it. I don't know how you got it.


The Bric-A-Brac Dasia Bric-A-Brac, what I think is right. And you have to stand for what you believe in. Yeah. So his bio says. Fang seeks woman to contact Jerry Power in casual guard station if you have any information about the missing Jack Russell, swipe right.


If you've seen my dog. He got to go to your matches. Did he did it? Yeah. Now, it was mostly women looking for their messages that he hadn't delivered yet, but.


But the odd person wants to buy the extra. OK, go to bed now. Swipe right for the man in blue jeans.


Pretty fun sometimes, right? Sometimes. You may be right. Yeah, I may be wrong, so I must go anyway. You follow me.


Keep your hands after breaking the blade and combine to make it you hands. And I say, can you not fix that yourself? And he said, no, I only have two hands.


I said, I know your guys and I know you two.


And he's a pest.


Is he? I do not. You are going away. We'll see you next week.


She's as blunt as a sledgehammer to the head. Mara, what is your mystery topic this week?


Surprise, surprise. My topic is not about writing or wanking or anything like that. It's about food.


Oh, I don't need to be relieved. Yeah, we are married. It's a question, OK. I had an experience recently went to a hotel. So the hotel breakfast have completely changes is that you have to book in you sit down at your table and they bring you your breakfast. They don't you can't go up to the buffet and get your pancakes, your rashers, your sausages, your little mini christan theoretician, mini almond chrysanths and come back to the table of fifteen thousand calories.


You can't do that anymore.


So you order off a menu and the set menu for the full Irish. I have a revelation to say it's going to cause a lot of controversy, but I don't like the full Irish breakfast because I'm not into black pudding. I like black pudding, but I like it when it's a starter with like a bit apple on it. That's lovely, but I wouldn't eat it as part of a breakfast. Why Putin taste the Norton? I don't know why anybody eats it.


Sausages that you get. Nortel's either not like fried in a frying pan. They're deep fried some of the time. Depends where you go. Same with mushrooms. The deep fry, the mushrooms, mushrooms should only mushroom shouldn't be fried oil. There should be fried in boater thoughts I like. So usually what I end up ordering if I make is bacon and eggs, but that's just not do enough for me. You want a little bit of tomatoes, veg, maybe a vegetarian sausage and hash browns.


I know they're controvert, they're not really typical part of the full Irish, but they are lovely. So I want to know like Aspromonte. Yeah. What is your idea of a lovely breakfast? Because the only time I've ever stayed over what you smoked, you went and got us the breakfast roll the next morning. You didn't puke first. So yeah. Yeah. I was wondering. Yeah. What would you cook. What would you what's your what would you order Nafzger for breakfast.


Can I just say I feel like this is a trick question and like more is about to ask us something horrendous.


This is all innuendo.


Like Putin is called for something else, like Putin asking that black Putin is the first thing on my plate at a hotel buffet.


Yeah, I love black and white, but I can take a leave. We put no norm normally no more. I have changed from the breakfast all tax. Obviously I'm on a bit of a fitness board this moment. So gone are the breakfast rolls. But if I would see if I was going out no summer for for my ideal breakfast there, say cooking it now is a different story because I just go for handedness. So you're out.


You're in Dublin somewhere, Josee. Now what are you getting. Oh, I'll tell you where is is a very nice spot Matt Hanlon brought me one time is the Ivy. Oh yeah.


Now it is so fancy. Like people are there in suits and like we were hung over as Jesus this morning. But it's lovely.


But my ideal breakfast is eggs Benedict.


Yeah. With two or three black buttons with it as well. Oh, I am I am I am made for people who don't know what an eggs Benedict is, Germany's Benedict is basically. It's eggs on, unlike kind of toasted little bagel, I suppose you would call a scrambled egg.


No, it's poached egg poached egg on bacon and it has there been any sauces, like kind of a what is it more a kind of yellow?


Yeah, it's mainly yeah. It's mainly kind of Bushehr butter and flour. So. Yeah, yeah.


Yeah. But when I'm, when I'm at home now, I have to admit people that, you know, there's going to be farmers market has gone bananas. I like a bit of avocado toast.


Oh I really like it. But the only thing is the avocado has to be almost gone off in order to get it under tost soft. Yeah. So you're beginning to value or whatever other places are available for shopping and like I'd be picking up the avocado squash net debt seahorse after this, like and it's not safe enough then I just leave it there.


If I'm in a hotel I just say as much scrambled eggs you can get see a lot of eggs. Yeah.


And then brown bread and like pudding. That's it. Rashers rashers in America. I'm just dirt to me. Yeah. Sausages and hotels. I do agree tomorrow they can be hit and miss. If you're cooking home you get the gourmet shit, you know what I mean. If they don't ask, just not I can be misled.


Disasters delivered on here and there. You know, dwyre sausages. Yeah. And they have bits of black pudding in class. Oh my God.


Yeah, they're incredible. Mowrer they're really nice. Now that's meat. Eggs Benedict would be my choice. And some of the bodies we have a bit of a breakfast club going at the moment. We went for the last three Sundays, group of lads going for breakfast. You ever hear of the likes of it, nor the pubs? Yeah, exactly. On a Sunday morning as well. Do you hold hands? No. Yes. In Colombia we only open we offer breakfast.


And one of the boys loves pancakes. He always gets pancakes.


Washer sparrow for breakfast. Yeah. Anamur big doors opening. How do Americans do that? That look so easy? The Americans let any American listeners. I actually have pancakes for breakfast. And why are your pancakes.


Retek Yeah. I like the little flat pancakes crisps. Huh. Oh yeah.


I'm sorry. Neil is distraught here. We're thinking about the revelation from the extra podcast during the week as well. Neil, it turns out, is a murder. He's been in and he's been in prison. He's completely lighter's funny. No more on the podcast. He's duped us. Well, Yamura Benny for me, eggs and black pudding for JBI as you get older, I think everyone's cereal.


Yeah. You eat cereal when you're in college and you're broke or as a child. Yeah. I don't know any grown man going out to do a hard day's work who's like having a bowl of conflicts. Any on the radio were box cork pops.


You know, if you go to the gym and you're trying to beauclerk, they always recommend you get cork pops. You come out of the gym straight away, cork pops. It's like really quick carbohydrates gets into your system really fast.


You look great. Thanks. You bleed porridge?


Yeah. I don't like porridge. Never have.


I don't like the consistency of it in my most strong. Yeah. And I will say a snack that mean Johnny do frequent in garages is will often go in just off to the deli and get a bag of bag opponents.


Yeah. You four or five buttons and we share in Minimoys.


That is our little treat bag of black pudding. Does that answer your questions. Mark does very interesting things I promise. Yeah.


That the next time you come down and stay, I'll cook breakfast and make eggs Benedict or maybe some avocado toast. Very fancy. Thank you. Breakfast rolls are gone.


Don't forget to read, review and tell your friends what to Johnny's podcast.


Use the hashtag to Johnny's part. That's the number two to get in touch. You can you can also email us and podcast. Add to Johnny's diary and follow us on Instagram at the two Johnnys.


And you can say you want us, you know, you can suggest future topics. Have the cracking sign up to our page on talk to us there as well. The whole lot. It's all there for you now.


It's time for your time. And don't forget your diet. This week is brought to you by the good people. At 48, they are changing up mobile and you can find out how on Feherty Airport IHI. And the best news is right there given away to give them five lucky listeners each week. The chance to win a six months free forty eight mobile seem to be in with a chance to win an all you have to do is send us your urate using the hashtag UAT 48.


That's hashtag why you are for it and you just put it on any other social media platform. So Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, whatever. Just do a post.


Put that in honestly. Six months free fall on that. The money you want to. If you think of the savings, let's make money. It's a good deal. So make sure that you do that this week.


Now on last week's Your Internet, can I thank everybody who wrote in about the Pirates eyepatch thing? It is.


We have gone extensive research. It's not just for seeing at night. It's also for going below deck where there were no windows. OK, so you could flip up, it could switch the patch over.


And then one day you'll be accustomed to the dark. Thanks to everybody who wrote in about that. My thought is in all our favorite expression. Tang.


Yeah. Countryman. Yeah. Farmer Manabu Koshin man who could Jean Brown shoes, belt buckle wearing super dry hoodie. Yeah, yeah. Country and Irish Tang. There is a village we're seeing called Tang. Well, I have discovered this week that there is a G8 club called Tang Geor.


Obviously I went online immediately to try and buy all their kit.


Yeah. And I was unsuccessful. Oh.


So if anybody knows where I might get a Tang Jaquiss, I want to buy it immediately.


Oh that's great. I'm just during the week there's a great program on former meat manager Shaun Boylan. If you haven't seen it, look it up. He's a horrible allergist and changed meat football forever. Very interesting man.


So mild mannered. And all the players, they were known for being like, really tough, really rough, savage team, but grateful Potters, too. And he was so mild mannered. And every one of the players said Sean never told us to to do anyone or he'd never say get more physical. He'd never say get stuck in. He was just an inspiring person, a real mild mannered, open minded guy. And then I was talking to a man who used to play for Cark, and he said he was on all star trip to New York and they had to play meet in an exhibition match in Garik Park in New York in the 90s.


And they were in the dressing room. And from the dressing room next door, they could hear Sean Boylan screaming at the players to get stuck in a murder.


They shouted, bastards, he said in our dressing room. The paint was off afterward with Sean Boylan screaming at the team for an exhibition match in New York.


Our season in New York. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, legendary man say with me dirt. And it is quite simply and it's all over the country. Everybody's talking about dog Teft.


Yes, some dorce like I feel really bad for people now, like we the dog next door.


All right.


I asked the lads to take him, whoever whoever has kidnapped these dogs, we need to just we need to sort out, we need to clamp down. There needs to be some sort of like who's who's in charge of this together. Is it as follows? They're going to have to find these lads. People are petrified.


And I know as well, people are saying that if there's a cable toy outside your gear and there's chalk or some people are definitely lads going around to American chalk on people's houses just just to freak out.


Well, there there was a case around Pnina where the ESB had to come out and say, sorry, the red and white plastic on Gates is cos we're using those gates for no, stop taking them off the gates.


Yeah, dog theft is serious.


This isn't this isn't a laughing matter. Some freak to steal someone's dog. Yeah. It's a what I will just say to people is keep her dog safe and do be vigilant. Yeah.


And called again. Microchip them is very important and might. Yeah. Microchip your dog. Take safety into your own hands. Yeah. There you go.


That's what it's in your miyata. Johnny. Have you got there.


I just were playing her on again and once again. It's seven pm on a Sunday. Yeah. What is wrong with you. She'll be banned from what you are going to finish real quick on a little small. Obviously everybody knows I love Last Chance. You anybody who's a fan of that show on Netflix course from last year series Jason Brown. He's got his own podcast called Slapstick.


No, I just want to say I don't agree with everything he says. Actually, I probably don't agree with anything he says, but he is a very entertaining man. Yeah. And that podcast is worth to listen because he goes through this series, The Last Chance you and he points out some things.


So that's why you're thinking, man, he is.


You think we're crazy to get him on.


Yeah, we got it. More touch base with him. We've got to get that man on the podcast. Then finally, we will get sued.


Yeah. So that's it for this week. Thanks very much for listening for me. Johnny Cmax from me, Johnny B. from Memory. We'll see you next week. Go on. Good luck.


This is a cast recommends every week we pick one of our favorite shows and this is one we think you're going to love.


In each episode of the Dublin Stories podcast, we bring you three personal, true stories that will hopefully make you laugh, because I knew Marad had done it with the deep sea diver, maybe even cry.


The adrenaline hits her system and she cries. And I've never been so happy to hear her cry, but always make you feel closer. He hadn't been fooled by my clever like he was the first person I'd ever told the truth to.


The Dublin Stories Slam podcast, available now on Accosts, a cast is home to the biggest podcast from Ireland and around the world.


Subscribe to this show and hundreds more now via Garst or wherever you get your podcast.