Here we go, here's the needle, here's a neat oh. Oh, oh, oh, around. One of the things I strongly believe is that we on the right need to do more investigative reporting, we can't just have opinions flying around all the time. We need to actually gather information and bring the hidden things up into the surface so we can see them.

So today, I would like to do my own investigative report into Don Lemon. Is he a gormless fool or is he an extremely gormless fool? Is he a clown or is he an entire Volkswagen full of clowns?

Let's find out.

One of the things that is so appealing about Don Lemon is his the way he wants to bring us all together, his calls for unity. Here's an example.

How do you come to some sort of compromise or an agreement with a person who doesn't believe in science, a person who doesn't believe in facts, a person who doesn't believe in reality? How do you come to some sort of agreement that you don't care enough about maybe yourself or you don't care enough about someone else, that you just can't put a little piece of cloth over your face? I don't know where the compromise and the come together. I know that's where that's going to come from.

It is difficult to have come together.

And obviously, when your opinions are facts and the rights, facts are opinions, how can you mix those two things together when they're facts or just opinions? And your opinions are actually facts is very difficult. But this talk speaks to us about Don Lemon's deep respect, his deep respect for those Americans who disagree with him. Here he is discussing how much he respects those Americans who disagree with his politics, with Rick Wilson and Wajahat Ali as they discuss what Trump voters are like.

He also knows deep in his heart that Donald Trump couldn't find Ukraine on a map. If you had the letter, you and a picture of an actual physical crane next to it, he knows that this is an administration defined by ignorance of the world. And so that's partly him playing to their base and playing to their audience. You know, the credulous Boomer RWB demo that backs Donald Trump that wants to think that that Donald Trump's the smart one in there.

Oh, yo yo elitist.

Are you elitist with your geography and your maps and your spelling, even though my math that you're reading.

Yeah. You're reading. You know, your geography. No. In other countries sipping a latte, all those lines on the map, all of them elitist, know where Ukraine is. Sorry, I apologize.

But right now, some of you may be saying, why is the single dumbest person on television? Why is a man who, if he bumped into a corner, would need three people in the jaws of life to get him out again? Why is a man who last read a book when he was maybe three or four and it was one of those golden, you know, big board books that I'm sure he enjoyed, why is he making fun of?

The rest of the country, people who probably are better, smarter, more honest and work harder than he does, Don was really sorry that people took it that way, that they mistook it as if he was laughing at anybody who disagreed with him, calling them stupid. So he issued this apology.

And one final note that I have for you, because this is personally important to me to address this, OK? Anyone ask anyone who knows me, they'll tell you, I don't believe in belittling people, belittling anyone for who they are, what they believe or where they're from. During an interview on Saturday night, one of my guests said something that made me laugh and while in the moment I found that joke humorous. And I didn't catch everything that was said.

Just to make this perfectly clear, I was laughing at the joke. And not any group of people, he was laughing at the joke about Trump supporters, but not a Trump supporter. It was the joke he was laughing at, but not the Trump supporters that the joke was about. So now that should clear things up for you because, you know, only somebody of his high level of intelligence can make that distinction. That's a distinction that you can't make because you might be a Trump voter who just doesn't know how to read or use maps.

You can't make the distinction between his laughing at the joke about you and his laughing at you. See, that's that's the thing you have to have that kind of stuff is the kind of Don Lemon esque sophistication and intelligence to really, really understand. And the thing is, he doesn't like to belittle people at all. So when he meets somebody, confronts somebody like Donald Trump who opposed Barack Obama, he really likes to do a deep dive into trying to understand Trump's mentality.

What is it about Obama that Trump is objecting to? Here is his investigative report on that subject.

What is it about President Obama that really gets under your skin? Is it because he's smarter than you? Better educated? Made it on his own, didn't need daddy's help. Wife is more accomplished. Better looking, I don't know what is it what is it about him that he's a black man that's accomplished, became president? And he punkt you on the whole birth certificate thing. What is it about him? Just wondering if she has curiosity about those who disagree with him, he's he's intellectually curious and he has an incredible integrity, too.

So, for instance, when the country was wracked by left wing rioting during the election between Trump and Biden, he was deeply concerned for the safety and health of the American people and called for the rioting to stop for a very specific reason.

Here's that clip. The rioting has to stop, Chris, as you know and I know it's showing up in the polling. It's showing up in focus groups. It is the only thing it is the only thing right now that is sticking. And the Democrats tonight stuck with that. Right. And they also stuck with the theme that you said. The coronavirus, you got coronavirus and you have Kenosha. So when we consider Don Lemon's respect for those who disagree with him, his intellectual curiosity and the opinions that differ from his his integrity in calling for rioting to stop because it might mean that his candidate loses an election and his subtle intellectual distinctions between laughing at the American people and laughing at a joke about the American people, which is so very different when we consider that.

And we ask ourselves, is Don Lemon a a gormless clown or is he an extremely gormless Volkswagen full of clowns that pulls up into the middle of a three ring circus called CNN and then runs around doing clownish things and squirting himself in the face while looking like an idiot? I think we have to say yes. That concludes this investigative report into how stupid is Don Lemon? All right, today, courtesy of our sponsor, my booky Dotcom, I'm going to give you Chris Cuomo, his top five, Chris Cuomo, just moments.

And these are important because Chris Cuomo is almost a perfect mixture of po faced stupidity with more po faced stupidity.

Is the model CNN anchor because he knows how to stare into the camera with a very serious face and to say things in a very serious manner so that, you know, he's being very serious until you listen to him and think this guy has absolutely no clue what he's talking about. Chief, among these moments, the one moment that I think kind of sums him up as a news anchor was when he was talking about the various mostly peaceful riots or as CNN has called them, fiery but peaceful.

And please show me where it says the protests are supposed to be polite.

So I'd like I like the seriousness and the kind of aggressive please show me where. So he was immediately answered. I immediately answered him on Twitter. But the best answer obviously came from Internet guy. This is on Tic-Tac. I think he's eating like a hot pocket. This who played this clip and responded.

And please show me where it says the protests are supposed to be polite and peaceful and please that the First Amendment is going to look it up.

Mr. Cuomo just delivers that line, you know, with this kind of it's kind of all knowing this knowledgeable face that he puts on that is supposed to convey that this is an authority. He's wearing a tie. He's speaking into a camera. He's got a microphone. So he must know something. Except he doesn't. He's Chris Cuomo. Rush Limbaugh, I think, is the first guy to call Chris Cuomo Fredo, which is kind of perfect. Fredo, you'll remember in this in The Godfather, he's the he's the stupid brother of Michael Corleone.

He is they're both obviously the sons of Don Corleone, the Marlon Brando godfather figure. And this is perfect because Mario Cuomo was, of course, a very powerful governor of New York who always put on this very grave, very intellectual aspect, but really was kind of not a very good governor, is kind of an indecisive guy who never did anything, but could always talk as if he were really, really intelligent. Now, his is very, very accurate.

His his son, Andrew Cuomo, who genuinely is the prince of darkness. I mean, he really is a guy who deceives people, who has there's a lot of aura and rumor of corruption about him. And then you've got Chris, who is the brother who you know, I just I kind of not quite living up to the intellectual level of his evil brother or his powerful, dignified, but actually kind of incompetent father. So he actually is Fredo, but he doesn't like it.

I thought he was just from the right. Call me Fredo. My name is Chris Cuomo. I'm an anchor on CNN. You're much right from The Godfather. Newsweek brother is an Italian as far as any you Italian insult to your people. It's an insult to your people. It's like the N-word for us, something like that. I didn't insult you. You call me like I call you punk. You like that. Your nickname is all you that I want my freedom.

You got my name right. I was what you can handle. What you want to call me right now.

You got to remember, Chris Cuomo is a weightlifter. He's a very big guy. He goes after a person who's watching him on TV. He is a public figure. You really do not have the right I'm sorry. You do not have the right to respond with force to words. You just don't you don't have the right to respond with physical violence to words. But but the problem he's got is that Fredo is so on point, right. It's like it's not something he can quite laugh off because it's just so very real.

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The other thing about him, he came on and he announced that he had gotten the Chinese flu with a wolf flu or the yellow fever, whatever you want to call it, it's not going to be bigoted. But some of the food for the flu Manchus, some people call it, but they. He came on and he announced that he actually had come down with the flu better than would be in right now, I care enough not just to stay home, but to stay on our leaders to make sure that they're doing everything they can to limit this.

I'm telling you, this is the part of our lives we will live through and remember the most. How do you want to be remembered during this time?

You know, I don't want to call him a pompous ass. I don't want to say that he's virtue signalling. I don't want to wait. That was what I wanted to say, that I forgot. That was actually what I wanted to say.

He is doing that. And it turns out that, A, he comes out later and he announces that this is my first time. All I cared about is that I didn't infect my family. That's all I wanted was not to infect my family.

And by the way, I and many other people in the media wished him well, because obviously, you know, you just disagree with somebody or you think he's like a po faced did it or you think he's a bully who goes up to people. And, you know, you still you don't want him to get sick. Nobody wants the guy to get sick. So everybody was wishing him well. And then he came out, finally emerged from the basement where he had been quarantined and said, this is it.

I'm finally coming out. Here he is. All right.

Here is the official reaction from the basement cleared by CDC. Little sweaty, just worked out happens.

This is what I've been dreaming of literally for weeks. My wife is she was cleared by the CDC.

She doesn't have fevers and no symptoms anymore. And more than seven days reported. We're so scared.

So I just give you one of these. Just give you one of these. Just give you one of these. Just give you one of these. Bella has, of course, taken the video.

This is the dream just to be back up here doing normal things.

Turns out, however, after lecturing us, after making a big production of coming out for the first time to finally this is the day I was dreaming of Sue's family. A biker witnessed him outdoors with a group of people talking about a home he was building without a mask, not not social distancing, and went on TV and announced that this has happened. And once again, apparently Cuomo came up to him and did the musclemen bullying routine it pretty far away.

I have very good eyes. And Chris Cuomo turns around. I'm like, holy smokes, it's Chris Cuomo. Shouldn't you be quarantined? My biggest next words were, what the hell do you know about this? What do you know about the rules? He continued to come closer and closer. And I like to say he was like a boiling pot. You could see his head just getting you getting more and more angry. I said, so you going to lose your temper like you did on the guy Shelter Island on me.

So I like the line. My favorite part of this is the line. What do you know about the rules? He knows about the rules because he was probably watching Chris Cuomo tell him that these are the moments we were going to remember for our whole life long. And this is what this is. The thing that is going to define us was the way that we stayed indoors to protect our families and one another and our community and the country and the world.

Apparently not. But he did not like this. As he made very clear, he did not like being confronted by a poor, ordinary peon, a member of the non a guy who doesn't even talk on CNN. That's how low this guy was. And yet he had the temerity, the arrogance to confront none other than Chris Cuomo.

I don't want some jackass, loser, fat tire biker to be able to pull over and get in my face and in my space and talk to me.

I don't want to hear it.

Jackass, loser, fat tire biker. Not not, you'll note, is not a CNN anchor like Chris Cuomo, the one that really gets I mean, we have to give Tucker Carlson credit here because it's Tucker Carlson. Get these tapes. These are tapes of Cuomo talking to Michael Cohen and briefing him on how he should give an interview about Stormy Daniels. Michael, calling the felon lawyer who was Donald Trump associate another one of these faux New York tough guys who, the minute they get caught by the law, start to confess to everything.

I don't know if Michael if it's Cohen who records everything, it seems that Cohen has never had a moment since his birth that was not secretly recorded. But he did record this conversation with Cuomo was, quote, coaches' him how to do an interview about his dirty dealings with Stormy Daniels actually says to me on CNN, he said he's going to give the interview on CNN. So he tells his pal. Michael Cohen, this obviously corrupt lawyer, he tells them how he's supposed to handle these questions about his corruption.

Always careful when I talk to media, right.

Do you know how many phone calls I've gotten from people at ABC who say that reporters are calling and lying about things? They heard about me to try to get stories about me when I was at ABC, guys calling and saying I heard he was the Charlie Rose of ABC, used to invite women to the hotel and open his bathroom.

Do I look like the kind of guy to do that on? But it's so high, so I have a good source that says that he forced one woman to have sex, I just want to know if you've ever heard anything like that. There is no woman, right? There is none. So here's the problem. Women who do work there saying, oh, yeah, you know, some of these men and women meet with other guys. You know, we bumped into each other once in the elevator and he put his hand on my shoulder and he made me really uncomfortable.

I mean, what though? It's a problem.

And now you say, I'm careful with the media. Always I've always told you the media is not your friend.

It's a wonderful exchange where Cuomo says they accused me of sexually harassing women, opening my pants and exposing myself, whatever. Do I look like the kind of guy who has to do that? Not who would do that? Not do I look like the kind of guy who would do that? But do I look like the guy who has to do that? No, no, I the women fall over for me, and I love Cohen's responses. Like, why not?

Why wouldn't you be that guy? Finally, let's do just one more. This moment when after he came out with the flu, he told he admitted the way he really feels about what he does for a living.

I don't want to spend my time doing things that I don't think that are valuable enough to me personally. Like what? Well, I don't like what I do professionally. I've decided I like doing this show. I like talking to you guys, but I don't value. Indulging irrationality, hyper partisanship, I don't think it's worth my time.

So Chris Cuomo is actually too good to be Chris Cuomo. Chris Cuomo doesn't want to sink to the level of Chris Cuomo. Chris Cuomo is above being Chris Cuomo. I think we can all agree. Chris Cuomo is above the level of Chris Cuomo, because once you've sunk to the level of Chris Cuomo, your Chris Cuomo, and then you know, it's over for you, basically that's that's your reputation forever. And Chris Cuomo does want to do that.

But later on, he did take it back.

I have never been in a better position professionally than I am in right now. What was I talking about yesterday? Well, if you listen to the show, you understood the context. Nobody called in yesterday and said, well, you can leave CNN. Why, because it was clear that that's not what I was talking about, I was talking about having legitimate questions. Which I've had all along, this administration, let alone with a fever, with covid for two weeks and being pissed off about being sick and rethinking a lot of things on an existential basis all the time, it is frustrating to do this job in an environment where people are not interested and open.

It is hard to practice journalism when people are so intent on believing what they want to believe for political advantage. It makes you question, is it worth the effort? Can I make a difference? Can I personally make a difference?

So those are the five Chris Cuomo esque moments of Chris Cuomo. I don't want to say the guy is Fredo. I don't want to say the guy's a bully. I don't want to say the guy misrepresents his character on the air. So I won't say those things, I'll just kind of move my eyebrows and send you coded messages and then stop talking altogether.