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[00:00:06]

What up, everyone? Welcome back to the Bela's podcast. All right, you guys, if you're listening to this, there's some exciting news on the horizon. I can't believe I'm almost a mom. Oh, my gosh. Either, can I? Plus, we have an amazing guest, happiness expert, Gretchen Rubin. All right. Here we go.

[00:00:41]

Happy Humpday Beltrami, I'm Nickel and Dime Bre-X, and this is the Bela's podcast. Oh my goodness. Bree, is there not just so much on your mind because we're getting so close to labor.

[00:00:51]

Oh, boy. Or for me, maybe a girl, too, who knows? But you know what that means. It's time for opening up. So let's pop that bottle.

[00:01:03]

OK, everyone.

[00:01:04]

So today we are opening up with the citrus cooler. And you know, what I really like about this drink is they say it's good for mommies and kids. So it's like kind of a pregnancy mctell in a way. So it's a drink for us, too. And Bertie is what you're saying? That's what I'm saying. We get our grapefruit in our orange or lime or lemon, even some honey. Oh, my gosh, how exciting is that?

[00:01:29]

And I think what else is exciting is that next week, you guys, we are going to bring you some big news, which you're really excited about. Is this baby updates like there in the World Baby update? Yeah, like you might hear our voices. Not as excited because those sound very, very tired. Or you might hear crying in the background. We might be crying, crying of happiness, crying of tiredness. Well, I was talking about our babies, but maybe we'll all be crying.

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Everyone's going to be crying.

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Well, speaking of crying, Nicole.

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Oh, something I would like to just kind of chit chat with you about, because here we are. We are almost giving birth. It's pretty scary any moment now.

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And I want to know, what are your biggest fears, Nicole, and what are you most excited about? Because this is the first time that you're doing it, but also it's something you've been wanting for so long. Oh, it's a really good question.

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Well, you know, fears of mine are that my biggest fear would be that labor doesn't go exactly how I've been meditating it to be and envisioning it.

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And so that's always scary to me. And, you know, just what's going on in the world. I just am praying that the hospitals are OK and Artem gets to be by my side and like, you know, maybe there's this hope that family like you can be there after I have my little boy.

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But I have to say, I am so insanely excited to meet him. I have this vision because of like, ah, ultrasounds of what he looks like. But I know it's always different. Like you've told me, it's not exactly obviously the same. And and I just can't wait to like, I'm going to birth this baby and then he's going to be in my arms and how we're going to look at each other, the feeling that you and every mom is described of like a love that you have never felt before.

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Like to feel that like I've been telling Artim, I am like so anxious for birth because it's like Christmas Day. If I was like six years old, like Santa is coming to town soon.

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You guys, I can't wait. I can't wait to have that feeling. And then, of course, I know I'm already scared because of what you've said about that first drive home.

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So it's weird because I already could tell the roller coaster ride you all go on like you're scared about labor. Then labor is the most beautiful thing. You know, when your baby comes, then you drive home and you're really scared. But then once you get the hang of it, you're like, this is beautiful.

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This is why we do what we do. Like this is why I was put on planet Earth. So I'm just I'm ready for this roller coaster ride of being a mom. I'm excited and I'm excited to be a mom. I'm going to be somebody's mom.

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And it's crazy because think of how you felt when Berdy was born and just how you think about birding now, like this is your own child.

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It's not going to be your niece. It's not going to be your nephew. It's your own. So imagine just the love you're going to feel is going to be times a thousand. I know it's probably hard for you to imagine.

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It is hard for me to imagine because nobody keeps me up at night. I don't think I pray harder for anyone else in the world besides birdie. So imagine when you're little one. Gosh, you know, I have to say my biggest fears.

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Is that I'm I've just been used to loving one child, giving one child all the attention Birdie's my world and she knows it, she knows, like, this is Birdie's world. We're all just living in it. And I know a lot of people will say this, but like you like, how do I love two kids the same and how do I, you know, split the tension and then hear Britta's three years old and all she's ever known is all of us giving her this attention.

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Now, her world's about to get rocked not only by a sibling coming into her life, but then a nephew because she gets all of your and Ghadames attention. And so my biggest fears is just how is he going to adapt?

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How am I going to adapt? And like, you know, everything people say, you get the hang of it, you figure it out.

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But I'm really nervous for that. And then what I'm excited for is just to see my family grow. I think to because of this pandemic, my daughter is like not played with any kids. And I think she thinks they're aliens now or someone took all the kids off the planet and she's on on a big search for them. But I think for Birdie to have a playmate for life, they look at us and, you know, even with JJ, like think of when we were little kids and how we would play house and grocery store, which, by the way, you guys, my sister always was the checkout person when we played by the.

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But she always had to be the waitress. Right. I had the boss position. My brother and I like she was always the one designated area. When you look at the wrong way, I just had this entrepreneurial spirit at a very young age, so I took charge. Well, I have a feeling Bernie is going to be the same with her sibling, but I'm excited to see that that interaction. Just to know that Bernie's going to have like a partner in crime now 24/7 angry.

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And so that makes me excited. Oh, I love that.

[00:06:31]

Well, and, you know, before we bring on our guests, because we have an incredible guest for you today, I'm very excited about having her on the podcast.

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But before we bring her on, I just want to know, what are your goals for year one?

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Oh, so as a mom, my goals because let's do this. Children's cooler's going down. Whoa, I'm getting a little buzz.

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But honey, yeah, I would say, like for my family is just, you know, I think this whole time in our pandemic, I know I keep going back to the pandemic, but quarantine has taught me a lot. And I like all of you. I don't know, maybe not for everyone, but I've definitely felt a shift. And, you know, Brian, I constantly say, why don't we start doing what fulfills us and fulfills us as a family?

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I think you and I both have been used to being workaholics, even Brian, on the road every week. We've all been used to just such crazy lifestyles and chaos. But I'm ready to slow down and really concentrate on my family, put them first and start to do the things that fulfill my heart. I'm always that person who's like, well, in five years, well, guess what, I'm almost thirty seven years old. So when is the five years.

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Yeah. So I'm ready to stop saying well in five years and start saying within this year this is what I'm going to do. I'm not waiting till the five year mark anymore. I you know, I love that. And you know, I have to say that I'm very similar. My goals for year one is to focus on being the best mom that I can be to putting my son first, whether it's how can I keep breastfeeding and is that the best for him?

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Learn about vaccines, schools, what helps him grow? What keeps him safe? Like I'm going to make that such a focus in my life, especially because I'm such a career woman. And I'm also going to make sure, though, at the same time, my goals for year one is that I'm making my time even in the beginning. So I know that I stay a happy, healthy mom. Like I have goals of, you know, wanting to get my body back in a very healthy way and keeping meditation.

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And just like I've been doing with him right now in my womb, we keep going with that and just learning to educate. Like I see what Brian does with Birdie. And I want Artibonite to do the same because he's such an intelligent little girl and it's just making that extra time. So that's like my goals for year one. I love that. And thank you. And it's weird, you guys, for me, because my sister's goals have always been like business about business, business, business.

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And it's so weird to hear her just talk all about a kid. Yeah, I never thought I'd hear that. So I love that. And these lobbyists in the womb change you. Right? So let's see if that happens. But I'm so excited.

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Bring on our next guest, because like a lot of you, I went through a really big breakup before I met Brian with someone I thought I was going to marry. And we had this great relationship. We broke up. I packed my stuff and within two weeks I moved to New York City and the first book I bought was called The Happiness Project because I was like, you know what? I'm feeling really, really down right now, but I know I made the right decision.

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I just need someone to keep telling me I made the right decision because, like, my heart hurts so bad. And so I bought Gretchen Rubin's book. Her book changed my life. And it made my two years in New York some of the greatest times as a single woman. I actually felt like I went from a young girl to a woman. And the one thing I like about New York is it really taught me to how to stand up for myself and use my voice.

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But I can't believe she's on the podcast. So we are going to bring on Gretchen Rubin, who is I will definitely say, and I could attest to this, the happiness expert.

[00:10:32]

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[00:14:11]

Hey, everyone, we just took the four tendencies quiz and Nyikina are the same Obejas, but Gretchen, thank you so much for being on the podcast.

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Oh, so happy to be talking to you today. And I can't wait to talk about the your tendency. Is that what you thought, Gretchen? Yeah, absolutely. For as you were answering at first, it wasn't clear.

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Then it was like bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. But, you know, blighters the biggest tendency for both men and women. So you're in good company. A lot of people in the world are bludgers. Oh, wow.

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So is it because a lot of people want to please other people, so they kind of sacrifice their needs, making sure everyone else is taken care of? That's not exactly what's going on.

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I think it's that our expectations are met, but not in our expectations. It's more like who's holding me accountable for it? And so it kind of looks like people pleasing because you see that you're meeting other people's expectations, but you're not meeting your own. But really, once you have a system of better accountability, then you meet all the expectations. And so you see people like yourselves who are gorgeous. But there's so much architecture of accountability around them.

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It's amazing what they can get done. They're unstoppable, but it's when they're trying to hold themselves accountable, that's when sometimes they you know, it gets to be a challenge.

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You know, it's crazy because I just feel like being in quarantine. What has it been like three months? Pretty much, yeah. I've actually I keep telling my husband that I want to really get out of that habit because I feel like that habits which made me exhausted. You know, I always blame motherhood. I always like, oh, because I'm a mom, I'm just tired. But I told Brian I'm like, it's way more than that.

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Like my sister and I, we run three companies. And I think what it is, is I want to make sure everyone else is OK and I work hard. And if someone asked me to do something, even though in my head I'm like, oh, I'm about to cook dinner for my family, I do it instead of, like cooking dinner for my family, I go make sure I do it for them. Then I'll try to race and do dinner.

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But I was like, that's what makes me tired.

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It's not just being a mom and that's you put your finger exactly on it. And that's what puzzled me about blighters, because it's not that they're lazy or they don't have willpower because they're meeting everyone else's expectations. So it can't be that they they don't have self-control or they can't do it. So someone who's in a bleicher like the two of you should do is create outer accountability. And maybe it's not a spouse or sweetheart because they're too close to us and maybe it's not the two of you because you're so close.

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Maybe it's somebody on the outside where they're the one saying even something that you need to do to take care of yourself. Like, I expect you to sit down and put your feet up for an hour every day. And I'm going to be really annoyed with you if you don't do it. And I'm going to check up on you. And so you're like, I got to do this because somebody is counting on me or like someone else gets a benefit if you get a benefit.

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So you have to keep it up to yourself so they get the benefit for themselves.

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Do you feel like you see this a lot with women? Because this is it just popped into my head. But I feel like especially with our generation, because Bri and I were about to be thirty seven. So I feel like we're still that generation of women where we were raised to meet these outer expectations and our inner expectations were put on the back burner. Because even when you think of our grandparents, how they raised us and they were those women of the 50s, like it was about having food on the table, the children are first when you go down their list.

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I don't think I ever heard my grandmother say what number she was down her list. It was God first, then your family work. This, that. And I never heard her say herself. And I feel like it wasn't, you know, till probably the past decade where we've really have empowered each other to start to use our voice.

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But I feel like that's always my struggle, is I have how I was raised from the fifties grandmother and my mom, how she was raised of how women should be, how their men should be, because, I mean, even me being pregnant, not married, and how I was my past relationship, I felt like people didn't understand where I was coming from because they're like, oh, this wild woman, how dare like she should be married and then have her kids.

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And so I wonder if that plays a role, too, on being the Blazier.

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Well, you know what I think it is? I think that both men and women are blighters, but they maybe think about it in a different way or they talk about it in a different way, because think of the doctor who says, well, of course, I have no time to exercise. I give one hundred and ten percent to my patients. I'm always in the hospital. There's no time for me to exercise or there's the salesman who's like, I do everything I need to do to make a sale.

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I'm so hardcore. Like, I don't have time to eat. Right. I'm in my car all the time because I will never miss a sale. This is a blight. You're talk. I don't have time to do things for myself because I'm so busy doing things for other people. But instead of sort of criticizing themselves for doing it, like, why am I not able to do these things? They're saying, oh, it's because I'm so hard core.

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I'm showing how intense I am, how driven I am. So I think it's the same behavior, but it can be characterized in a different way. And I think that you're absolutely right. That kind of culture tells us how to interpret what's happening and it puts a spin on it, but. It can come out in different ways or be expressed in different ways, even though at the core of it it's pretty much the same thing.

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Yeah, that's a good point. Actually, the doctor analogy was so great to hear because I'm like, oh, yeah, that totally is what happens. Right? So many of us that are workaholics. Yeah.

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And what do you recommend? Like when you want to take that step to kind of set boundaries and even for myself, like it did take a kid for me to kind of tell people like, OK, this is my bedtime routine and all that. So if I don't call you back or text you like, these are the hours, but I still fall into it. But I guess my biggest thing is I never want to come off rude, right.

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Or make people be like, dang, she's just high maintenance, which is that's always my thing in my head. But what is like the first steps that you recommend that seem professional, but that also make it where it becomes a habit? I think exactly.

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The strategy that you hit on is an excellent strategy, which is sort of like I have to say no to you because I need to say yes to someone else. And so this is what my child needs. This is what my family needs. And so therefore, I can't meet your expectation, because to say yes to someone means saying no to someone else. And so it's up to each of us to decide who gets the yes and who gets the note.

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So part of it is to identify that. And so you might go through and think to yourself, well, who do I need to say yes to? And what's most important for me and to say, like, well, if I do this, that I'm going to have less time for that. And so to really make that tradeoff explicit and not just be responding in the moment because, you know, somebody asks you to do something instead of Voyageur, you just want to say yes right away and get on it.

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But to say, well, if I do this with you, that means I'm going to miss this yoga class that I told a friend that I was going to do. And she's going to be really annoyed if I let her down. Like to always think about that trade off. McBerry, right now I want to say yes, but future Nicki and Bri are going to be disappointed if we don't respect our boundaries or think of your duty to be a role model for someone else.

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Like, I want to show other people what it looks like to have good, strong boundaries. And so if I constantly say, yes, I'm not going to be showing that kind of behavior. And in fact, what a lot of a bladers do is they teach if they want to do yoga, they teach yoga because they're like, that's the only way I can get myself to do yoga. So people are like expecting me to teach them a course because they're like, well, I'll write an e-book about something.

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That's the only way to get the e-book written is if I tell people I'm teaching a course, you know, they create that outer accountability.

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It's actually so funny that you say that because it's been difficult being pregnant and quarantine and keeping up with my workout working out is such a big part of my life and always has been. My happy place is when I'm working out, I'm sweating. I feel great. It's meditation for me, but I started to breathe. The only way that I was starting to hold myself accountable to work out was to tell my fanbase that I'm doing an IG live workout because then they're going to hold me accountable if I don't show up.

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And there were times that we are doing and I was so exhausted, but I'm like I told them 1:00 p.m. Pacific Standard Time, so I got to be there. So it's so funny how you say that now.

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And this is the thing sometimes when people hear about the obliging tendency, they think, well, this means that I can't get anything done and I'm dependent on other people for our credibility. I blighters can do anything but and a lot of times they figure out, just like you figured it out, even though you didn't know about the vocabulary of the four tendencies framework, you figured it out. You know, you both in your own way figured out I need to have that time for my daughter.

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I need to have an online workout. This is what's going to allow me to get done, what I want to get done. So you figured out, OK, how do I create utter accountability? Turns out there's a lot of ways once you realize that's what's worked totally.

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And, you know, I used to think that maybe it was us being raised as athletes.

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So like, we're coachable girls, we need to be coached. We would have practice time. We show up that's, you know, helped us with our drive and wanting championships and the accomplishments that came with it. And it's so molded, like our personality of how we work. But I think that's why we succeeded as athletes, because being in a blazer, it's what we needed to succeed. I actually see that. But it's funny because when I think about my daughter, I'm like, I don't want her to feel handcuffed the way I do to always meeting everyone's expectations and pleasing everyone.

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But I'm like, she'll probably just see how I run a household and how I am and kind of fall into that.

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So it's like I need to kind of take a step back and think like, OK, I would like to be maybe a little bit more of the rebel or, you know, do you still like do we learn this because how we're raised in what we see or is it just who we are as people?

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Because I know I want to get into your podcast because I know, like even from happiness, you take it from science to pop culture to all these different areas of finding that. And is that the same way with how we are personality wise or how we see life or how we work?

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I really do believe that it's it's genetically determined. I think your tendency is part of the kind of what you're hardwired with and what you bring into the world. Of course, culture and upbringing and experience are going to influence how that comes out. But I really do believe. It's something that we're born with and so I was very interested because I'm like I've actually never known identical twins to take this quiz before. Oh, I hope they get the same answer because that's my theory.

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So thank you for getting the same answer, because my idea is that it isn't so much, because if you think of an upbringing, people respond to it in different ways. And so a person of a different tendency, you might think, well, they came out this way because of their circumstances, but in many ways we shape our circumstances. So I do think that this is part of what we just bring into the world with us.

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And I agree with you. And that's why I was like to Bree, when she thought we'd be different, I knew we'd be the same because being identical twins, Bree and I, how we view life and our morals and how we see things are identical, I've always seen that is true. But that's why I knew we would be the same, because think of how we work, the things we enjoy in life, how we travel you.

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I mean, you and I always have great roommates because we enjoy how we live.

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I would love to be an identical twin. I envy you to so much. I just think it sounds like the best thing in the world. It just sounds like a wonderful, intimate relationship that nothing else could could replace. It is I so agree.

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I feel so blessed to be an identical twin and being pregnant together.

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I know that's so funny is that I could leave that and a week and a half apart, we actually we were laughing just to get a little off subject. We were at her doctor's yesterday and just to find out that our babies could be born the same day.

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You know, they will be. I know. It's just crazy. I feel the same. I feel like they're going to be born the same day. And Britney also said, we're so lucky because during this pandemic, you can't have a significant other come with you to the doctor's office. But because we're pregnant at the same time and they know we're like in quarantine together, they let us come in together and we see all the other women look at us like, why do they get a fright when I go with twins and we're pregnant?

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Like, this is so rare next door to each other and live next door to each other. And you also can have this so crazy.

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It is so something I'm dying to ask you, because I think of just a place like my husband's in right now, and even sometimes I think about with my careers and stuff. But how was it for you and when did you decide to switch over from being a lawyer to a writer? Because two different extremes. And my husband always talks about how do I switch over from being a professional wrestler to, you know, a farmer like he has all these different things in his head, but he just doesn't know how to do that jump.

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So I'm curious to know for you when you decided to do that.

[00:26:41]

Well, you know, I know a lot of people who have wanted to make the jump, and I really feel like it was a lot easier for me because what happened was that I got an idea for a book that I wanted to write. I wanted to write a book called Power, Money, Fame, Sex, A User's Guide. And I I was just researching it all the time. I was working on it. I was just like having the most fun with it.

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So it was easy for me because it wasn't so much I wanted to leave where I was, but I really wanted to go to another place and I saw exactly what that was. So it was just calling to me. It was almost irresistible. And I think when you feel that call, then it's very clear, like I thought, well, I'd rather fail as a writer than succeed as a lawyer. So how would I try to be a writer?

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And then I just kind of like got a book. I literally got a book from the bookstore, like How to write and sell your nonfiction book proposal and follow the directions because I knew what I wanted. I think it's harder when part of it is like the what color is my parachute question when you're trying to figure out, well, what is that thing when it's not obvious to you right away and you sort of have to experiment and do a lot of self-analysis and maybe try a lot of different things, have a lot of informational interviews, maybe go down some dead ends until you land on that thing, which sometimes is not obvious.

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For me, though, it was very clear that's what I wanted. I didn't even just want to be a writer. I wanted to write a particular book. And so that made things a lot clearer. Wow.

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And I loved how you said that. Like in your heart, it was if you fail as a writer, it's like you wanted to still do that, which I think is big.

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And actually, I can't wait to say that to Brian to say, like, how do you feel if you fail at it? Like, is it still good for you to take that leap of faith? Well, I mean, I believe that if it's something on your mind, you have to do it whether you succeed or fail, because then you won't live the rest of your life saying, what if? And I feel like that, what if is the absolute worst.

[00:28:27]

Two words that you could ever live with.

[00:28:29]

Well, in the research backs you up on that, because when they look at people who have regrets, people are far more likely to regret things they didn't do or didn't try than things that they did to and did try. And so I think that failure, it feels very scary when you're looking toward it. But it turns out that in retrospect, it's kind of better, as you say, not to have that.

[00:28:48]

What if but to just think like, well, I tried totally because I feel like I used to struggle with that, because being in the spotlight, it was like, if I fail, it's going to be a headline and people are just going to call me a failure. And then I just started trying things and I got to a point where I was able to laugh it off like, hey, at least I tried it. You wouldn't dare like even I first had to do with wrestling moves like.

[00:29:10]

OK, I want to be a powerhouse, how do I build to be a powerhouse and there were things I failed at and people would rip on me, I'd be trending worldwide, like, what was Nicky thinking?

[00:29:21]

And I'm like, you know, you get in the ring and try what? I just try. I'm actually pretty damn impressive myself. And then when I did Dancing with the Stars to go out there and dance, I did not want to jive. And I said, Beyonce and Jaylo don't jive. I don't know how my thighs are going to jive, but I'm going to give it a try. And then I got cut after I jived in a witch outfit to a Bette Midler song.

[00:29:41]

I felt like a failure, kind of like a failure going into it. But you know what I was like? At least I went out there to 10 million viewers and a live audience and got judged for it. I failed, but I did it and I actually felt great about myself. I like your jive thing, Sister.

[00:29:59]

One thing I remind myself of is if I'm not failing, I'm not trying hard enough and that some people think success is never failing. But actually, as you point out, success is trying so many things that some succeed and some fail. Look at all the things you've done that have been wildly successful. But if you hadn't been willing to fail, you probably wouldn't have done any of those things are not nearly as many of them. And so failure is a sign of success because it's the sign of like pushing that boundaries.

[00:30:24]

So but it's hard it's easier said than that, though.

[00:30:27]

But once you could live by that and do that, I mean, you look at so many open doors and there's just nothing that can stop you from anything. I agree. So it's definitely something that I want everyone to take in.

[00:30:39]

And definitely before we wrap this up, we have to get to your podcasts.

[00:30:44]

And for our listeners, I mean, you definitely have to check out Gretchen Rubin's podcast. It's called Happier and it's actually has been iTunes Best one of their best podcast. I would just love to know one. What was your inspiration to start it, to have the title, the topic, the things that you talk about? I would love to get into that.

[00:31:05]

Well, you know, I've written about happiness and good habits in human nature for a long time. And as you know from everything you do, if you want to reach an audience, some people like to read things and some people like to listen and some people like to watch and some people like to look on their phone. And if you want to reach an audience, you want to be kind of in all different ways. And also each medium lets you do something different.

[00:31:23]

And so I love the kind of the freedom and the spontaneity and the fun of the podcast form. And I have a sister. I'm super close to my sister. She's five years younger. We're sadly not identical. But I thought, oh, I've always wanted to collaborate with my sister and we never had a project. She's also a writer. She's a Hollywood writer. And I thought this is something that we could do together. And so that's what people talk about, happiness.

[00:31:42]

You're like, what is happiness? What is it? What would it look like to be happy? The word just sort of dissolves your mind, but happier I could get. Yeah. Would this make me happier? Yeah, because it made me happier. So it's not about happiness. It's about things that can make us happier. So it's very concrete so that are both kind of very concrete. We want like actual things that can work. So it's just fun for us to get the chance to do this once a week together.

[00:32:08]

That is so cool that you do that with your sister. Is there one piece of advice or kind of like a habit? You could tell people that they can kind of take in their daily lives to become happier? Because I do feel like like you said, sometimes you are like, well, happier. What is it? How can I do that? And I didn't know if there's something you can kind of share with our listeners, like one little thing they can take with them today.

[00:32:27]

Well, one thing I would say is and this conversation is a good example, is like there's no magic one size fits all solution. It just because something works really well for somebody else doesn't mean it's going to work for you. And you shouldn't beat yourself up and feel like you have no willpower. No, my husband can get up and run three miles before breakfast every day. Why can't I do that? We can all figure out how it to achieve our aim.

[00:32:47]

But sometimes you have to experiment and figure out the right way to set it up for you. And so when people are feeling frustrated, like with temptation, I have an incredible sweet tooth and some people can have like one square of fine chocolate or half a dish of ice cream. I'm like, I can't have any if I have one thin man cookie, I'm eating the whole sleeve. So for me, abstaining is easier just to have none. It's not hard, but to have one is two.

[00:33:11]

I can't do it. It's too hard. But some people can have one. And so you can have one and I can have none and they'll what's right and what's wrong. It's just that we're different. And so rather than feeling like oh gosh, what's wrong with me, think how could I do something in a different way? Because a lot of times have it's really can make us happier and healthier and more productive and more creative. I like that.

[00:33:33]

I feel like we just I don't know if you drink wine, but like when the beat is, how can we all have wine? Because I feel like I could talk to you for hours for fun.

[00:33:43]

Yeah. Like I had you and her sister, I and your sister, we all do powwow.

[00:33:48]

Honestly, what you do is truly incredible and just super honored that you came on our podcast. And we are going to have everyone take this quiz, by the way, and listen to your podcast.

[00:33:58]

Oh, fun. Well, thanks so much. It was so fun getting to hang out with you virtually. But we're all virtual these days, so you go the way of the world, right?

[00:34:07]

Yes. Well, thank you so much, Gretchen, again. Or just coming on and talking to Brian, I truly feel inspired and enlightened. It's no surprise that neither of us are going out a lot these days between our pregnancies and everything going on in the world where both major homebodies right now. So when there's a way to get around a routine errand, we take it. This is why Stamps.com was created with Stamps.com. You could skip the crowds at the post office and print postage on demand using your own computer, whether you're small business, sending invoices or just working from home and need to mail stuff with Stamps.com.

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[00:35:44]

Welcome back to our segment, Dear Bela's, where we give both style advice to our listeners, because who needs a baby when you have to balance? That's right. And here's today's question.

[00:35:57]

Hey, guys, this question might actually be for free. But Nicole, feel free to jump in as I'm watching Total Delas, I'm looking at your eating habits and all of the healthy stuff that you guys sort of make. And I was wondering, how did you really become vegan or vegetarian? What is a yes or no? The eggs. Do you see any animal products and what advice do you have on how to really start out in that lifestyle?

[00:36:24]

Thank you so much.

[00:36:25]

Oh, that's a really good question. And, you know, I'm actually so happy to answer this because I feel like sometimes there's a lot of pressure when people want to make these big decisions, whether to go vegan, vegetarian, pescatore, and because there's a lot of judgment that can come with that. And I feel also there's pressure because people feel like when they make these decisions, they can't make any mistakes or they're going to be called out or judged.

[00:36:52]

So I'm going to tell you my experience with and also Bryans and I hope it helps, but the day I decided to go vegan, I actually saw a bunch of documentaries, educated myself on factory farming and all these other things and where my food was coming from, even when I thought, like, OK, it's free range. I just I had so much compassion I still do for animals that I was like, you know, upbring. Let's just see if we can do it.

[00:37:22]

And I did it slowly because I was like, OK, if I cut it cold turkey, that will be hard. So I first took out me, then I took out fish, then I took out all dairy products. And then what I realized is I wasn't the best vegan first. I think being on the road, it was really tough for me as a wrestler going town to town to be straight up vegan because you start to realize all these different things that are in food.

[00:37:48]

And then I'm living off protein bars and salad and I'm like, I'm starving. So then I became a vegetarian, so I allowed myself to eat eggs and cheese. And that really helped being on the road. Yeah, because you don't want to put too many preservatives in your body to try to make up for the protein that you lack. Yes.

[00:38:06]

And I'll say if you're home 24/7, being a vegan, so much easier when there's all these cookbooks, you realize how many different vegetables you can cook, what people always say, well, you're going to lack protein, you're going to lack I you're going to like all these things. No, you're not. If you actually really look how much proteins and broccoli and all different vegetables, how much protein you really need to consume a day, you're not going to be suffering.

[00:38:30]

So when I became a vegetarian, it was easier on me. And then in the last year I have actually become a pescatore. And so I in fish back into my diet. And I just did that simply because I started traveling a lot again. And for health, I was like, I need to bring a little fish. I'm very selective and I try to not have it at my house, just do it when I go out.

[00:38:55]

But for me, the hardest thing when you do make these decisions and Nicole will see is the judgment that comes with it, like people literally be like, oh, these are animal product and that.

[00:39:07]

And it's like all I want to do is save the animals to help out the environment, like, all right, there's a little mistake here. And people what you're going to realize is and what I've seen with my sister is people make a political it's like it's the way she eats. How is this turned into something political?

[00:39:23]

So be prepared for that, because I don't know how being a vegan has become something political.

[00:39:29]

It's like this is so crazy and I've seen that with Brie. And like my one thing of just being around vegans and now I know Breeza scattering and Brian's different.

[00:39:39]

They're very good about keeping themselves healthy. And I've met other vegans who aren't they just tend to go more to starches or sugars because it doesn't have animal products. Right. Products in it. So what my suggestion would be is to get your blood taken first, to see what you lack to at least you can bring that in with vitamins and other stuff, because, you know, sometimes all of a sudden we make these really big decisions and it could create problems.

[00:40:10]

Right. I think being vegans, great, I'm not vegan. I do eat meat, but I always make sure the animals were very happy. You know, I'm very picky about where I get my meat and how much I consume it. But I get my blood tested now because I know certain things that I lack and I make up for. So make sure to do that before you take a lot of things out of your diet. The biggest word in vegan and vegetarian comes from vegetable.

[00:40:35]

I follow these vegan accounts, which I love, but it makes me happy because like we're so lucky, we get to eat ice cream and French fries all the time. I'm like, no. The point of being a vegan and vegetarian is eat vegetables. Yes, and I will say people are always mind blown because my daughter eats a cucumber a day. Every meal we have, there has to be some type of vegetable. We have more vegetables on our plate than anything else.

[00:40:56]

And my daughter craves vegetables.

[00:41:00]

I'm going to give you an example of a day now.

[00:41:02]

Brian goes back from being vegan, vegetarian. But he won't do any animal at all unless it's eggs.

[00:41:07]

But he's very selective when he eats eggs. But like this morning, I love soy trees. So I'm Birdie's obsessed. So I do scrambled eggs with little soy trees. So with the side of avocado.

[00:41:20]

And then actually for lunch I made birdie. She had tofu with barbecue sauce, sidepiece and sliced cucumber. And I made a cucumber salad. And I love to put a little white wine vinegar with sesame seeds on top. It's so refreshing and just delicious. And then for dinner I'll do spaghetti squash and I have some onions, mushrooms and broccoli in my fridge. So I slice it all up and I put that in olive oil sauce with some garlic, let it all roast.

[00:41:48]

I do my spaghetti squash, which I put. I cut him, I estimate, for 20 minutes, take it all off, mix it in with the sauce and boom. And that's like for me, a very fulfilling day, very healthy. And you will not go to bed hungry and you will actually feel really, really good. And my daughter loves all of that food.

[00:42:07]

And that's the thing is what I've realized about all that. The more veggies, the better you fill.

[00:42:11]

Popeye was on to something. Popeye did spinach, right? Yes. You guys, we got to think like Popeye by the sailor man. I know what I mean. You got to just chug a lot of water and it's crazy.

[00:42:21]

You could literally take over the world. I agree. Just have fun.

[00:42:25]

Yeah. I'm like sort of getting squashed. There's so many fun substitutes you can do for pasta that I do just to be healthy with calorie wise. I love the zucchini spiral and I love using broccoli or cauliflower rice instead of normal rice. And that is just purely because I want more vegetables and less starchy calories. Right. But it tastes so damn good and we're just so lucky nowadays that there are so many amazing recipes. Whether you Google, you got to fund one hundred percent and you will be one of the best vegans, let me tell you.

[00:42:54]

All right. Well, you guys, if you want a chance to hear from us, give us a call at eight three three cupolas.

[00:43:05]

All right, everyone, thank you so much for tuning in to today's podcast. Yes. And thank you so much, Gretchen Rubin, for joining us today. I love that Nicole and I were Twyning on our Ford tendencies quiz. Yes, we were. Make sure to tweet us your questions for Beltrami Q&A with the hashtag Balas podcast and call eight three three Cupolas to ask us for On-Air advice in our segment. Dear Bala's, please show us some love by rating the show, leaving a review and hitting subscribe.

[00:43:33]

And we just launched a new Instagram exclusively dedicated to the Bela's podcast. So make sure to follow us at the Bela's podcast until next week. Remember to stay fearless and always go bri mode if you drink along with us. See you next Wednesday.

[00:43:49]

And as Birdie likes to say, bye bye.