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Hey, what's going on, everybody, it's time for another wonderful episode of the Bill Pod Cast.
All right. Yeah, we got to get out of gas.
We got to get this guy is one of my favorite fucking stand up comedians, one of the most original, darkest, craziest people on stage. It does some of the best impressions. I don't want to I'm giving you an intro, you know. Yeah. You can be like, how do I follow this? Please welcome the absolutely brilliant Jeff Richards. Thank you.
Thank you very much, Bill. Thank you, Burt. It's great to be here. I thank you for having me on. Thank you.
I still remember a bit you did I forget how quite how it goes. But we we were working together and brayer. And you were talking about people putting babies in crawlspaces after they killed them and you said something like where they're going to stick them next and you said something absolutely ridiculous. And then you just looked at the crowd like. Great point, and they didn't know how to handle it. I was in the fucking back crumby help of I remember the punch line.
But I don't remember you know, you reminded me of that chick with the big square head. That fucking acts like she's a lawyer. Maybe she used to be one, but now she's on TV. Let's not Judge Judy. She doesn't even do a judge show, she's always she's like an ambulance chaser. She acts like she's trying to help people out. You are. You know who you're talking about, who know what's what's Amazing Grace and.
Yeah, Nancy Grace. Nancy Grace. Yeah.
Oh, Nancy Grace. Right. Right. I remember that it was something that wasn't it.
Something about a suitcase, too, with like like you're going to go to the trouble to chop up a body but you don't yank the teeth out. You know, you don't get rid of the fillings, you know, you go to all that length of, you know, something like that.
This is this started off real dark. Oh, no, no, no. So you were fucking talking about this shit like you were just shooting the breeze about putting a deck on your house and you were talking about the dark horse shit and then you did like this Nancy Grace look in the end of it. And there was staring at you. Yeah, that was it.
And I fucking was crying.
And your commitment and the characters and shit like it is a fucking travesty then that more people know when this stupid pandemic is over to go out and go see Jeff Richards live.
If you really want something different to really like you, your talent.
This is the guy you got to see. You're so sweet, thank you. What was what was how would it help, how do you come up with a bit? I'm just curious. I remember seeing you one time about to go up Neo and in the belly room, and you were in a complete, I think, blue and gold leotard. And I was like, what the fuck Jeff doing in there? Like, I was trying to figure something out tonight.
And I was like, oh, I just got off. Fuck.
Yeah, no, that's the music stuff that's having fun with the music and, you know, smoking a little weed before you go up there and just letting letting loose. Yeah.
I like the time he was Tom Petty for like an hour I sat and I played drums on a song or two. Yeah. And he would go up there and he would just sing the song. But before the song he would do some story about how we came up with the song and it was the most darkest, twisted shit ever. And then you go into this huge hit that everyone wanted to hear while they had to shake off the story, like he'd get into, like getting touched by a relative.
And then we would be playing like refugees. Don't do me like that. I don't do me like that.
That was the one I played on. And all your jokes up that he's talking about how he got derailed. You know, my dad was a great guy, took me out fishing it all.
But one day, I don't know, we were sitting there on the couch and I didn't really know what was going on. Anyway, let's let's hear. Don't do me like that. Here we go. Oh, me. Don't do me like that.
I just did this podcast. That's my favorite thing ever. The Louisiana Stand Point show when he looks.
Show me boloney, show me chrysanths, can you please stay?
It's time for the feud. You guys ready to play that fear?
Top five on their Barway serving time demands the conga I got in your mind. You guys got me water.
I'm dying. You ever do that if you ever do that. What what are you been doing during the pandemic? You started this podcast, what the fuck is going on of my microprocessing that it changed to a yeti then?
Fine. What do I do here? Good bottom left to come, off they go, I just love the elderly, the elderly that only I could see now. There it is, your default. My grandpa has changed the MacBook Pro microphone. What do I want to do here, Andrew?
You sound fine.
It did click back and forth and keep it as severe as the environment as it is here. Your microphone. Is the input on the microphone as charged, yet he's gone. It's as close, he might just get the same thing. But is somebody hacking in here? Where are you in the corner. Yeah, just now. Let's just keep going fucking down, Google. OK. All right, sorry, what are you been doing during this this pandemic, Jeff?
Just the my show, just the podcast making these deep fakes and just banging one out every we're going to go to one every two weeks we were doing once a week is a little much getting everything together. But, yeah, just just trying to do a new impression as we take you to. How long does that take you to come? Yeah, you got to give yourself time to come up with the impression, right? You have got to figure out, you know, the pairing of of of, you know, which impression with the gas, which would be a good one.
You know, like you and Louis was good, I thought, because I could diffuse you as Louis a little bit, you know, just trying to pick ones that kind of spar well together, you know? Yeah. I built an impression right now.
Oh, I like to and I always like doing Letterman, I always like nice to see you would hope at some point I don't know how.
Whoo hoo hoo hoo. There's a certain defined ability that that isn't quite isn't quite an apple. Isn't quite a banana.
Whoo hoo hoo hoo. I feel like fucking I feel like a child whenever I hear an impression of him was like, how do you start it?
Like how do you like take me through like the coming up with an impression was like I could do a notorious big singing well but I could never do an impression. Yeah, I think you just have to have a feeling about that person, you know, you know something in you that makes you kind of want to mock them a little bit. You know, something that, you know, I kind of see what this guy is a little bit, you know, like, you know, and kind of go from there.
Like Robert Downey Jr. was like that for me. He always sounded like a surfer from Southern California, just in general, you know, and it's like, you know, like Hankton, you know, Kariobangi dude, you know what it is, you know, surfing chick, a metaphor for, like, you know, chick masochism, just like, you know, you know, neuroanatomy like Vancouver post pineapple types of great.
You know, just just kind of where it's just fun to get into it, like always like Jimmy Fallon is fun and it's so cool, you know, as amazing as the coolest thing in the world. And I was kind of I found a paper clip yesterday, you know, I found a paper clip, you know, I mean, a little little piece of twisted metal. You know, when I first saw, I was like, oh, my God, no way.
You know, God, do you just sit at home?
You just start doing them because I could, like, imitate somebody if I work with them. But I had spent 40 hours a week with them, and then it was really just everybody's impression of the guy and then just exaggerating a few things. But I've never been able to like I can do impressions of people's impressions. Yeah, I do a little bit of a. Ray Romano, but it was only after I heard this guy, Rob Magnotta, do it.
Yeah, I mean, once they do, it is a significant crack because it was a guy, Jim Lauletta in Boston did the best fucking Arnold Schwarzenegger. Because he just didn't do the law, although he had the he had that lower. Register of him just walking when he was being firm and everybody was all about that, he he would he would tone that, right? Yeah, we like correct. Gas was the only guy I could see do Pacino like.
Taut, like post, like Niños Pacino talking right like that gravelly sort of that cadence, and he got into the way he would do it, like everybody sort of does the hacky version of it.
He actually literally sounded like I mean, you have like that gift is that's something you just born with it.
I guess. Yeah, a little bit. It's it's like getting the tone right.
You're just talking about you're getting getting kind of like that that that impression that people haven't seen yet, like, you know, like Hofman, like Dustin Hoffman is just you you hoppman.
There was a long hallway. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't know. So we try we try and open we try to open the different doors, but they wouldn't open. Nobody had a key. We couldn't open the doors, so we had to go. We had to go back out. We had to wait for a while. Wait, wait for a while. Don't tell me what you don't know what I know. Don't look at me like that.
Yeah, great. I don't. But you do so. And you just watch. You just noticed. I never noticed. He shook his head when he or the lips, the lips, the lips.
One is what gets that little thing. Yeah, that little. It's just it is what it is. Yes, I want some I want some cotton candy. You can't just get cotton candy. You can't just buy cotton candy. You've got to know a guy.
You've got to know. You got to know a cotton candy guy.
It isn't just fun, you know, fucking insane, man. You notice that there are. Do you notice that there are guys that catch other people's cracking the code and then they steal the code cracker?
I mean, I don't know. Yeah, maybe it's hard to prove. Right, but I don't know. Yeah. Maybe some of the times you're one. What's your favorite obscure like doing Willem Dafoe.
Oh. Oh, my God. How do you do that? OK, just I just I, I just want to ask you a few questions.
So but what do you like to do for fun? I do it out of Willem Dafoe from American Psycho, you know, he's a detective. Yeah, it's like so.
When he got my degree and then Patrick Bateman, because she feels like Lucy is the Sky Room, John is don't she already know all this? And he goes, I just wanted to know if you know. So you just sit at home and could do the whole fucking movie? No, I just there's certain ones like speak to me more. Certain ones grow on me. You know, certain ones I can are in my wheelhouse. I can't do everybody, just certain ones kind of come in.
I got David Attenborough, but I don't even. OK, OK, I know that is now. Oh I know Finch. I'm a curious creature and still not yet born. Oh.
This tiny speck of dirt is not just a speck of dirt inside a mustard, spiders, millions of them, you know, when we were on SNL.
A one two four oh one to four and how much did they use you?
I was in pretty good for the first few years, you know, not all the time, but, you know, update a lot because I would just think that you like like debts that they could just write anything.
And then I will stick Willem Dafoe in it. I also like the impression, guys. Had the best shot of getting on that show, yeah, and that is what got me on, I think, you know, I got to do like, you know, a bunch bunch of different ones. You know, I would read one at the read through. And so the table can maybe kind of hear it for maybe next time and then, yeah, they would kind of put me in different sketches.
So you were in like at the height of Will Ferrell while he was on his way out and Bill Hader and those guys came in. Will Ferrell's last year was my first year. Wow.
I remember that, like being on the show with him. And that guy was great. Great. Just to watch and watch how he behaved and how funny he was and cool. And, yeah, it was a great guy to. To me or try to mirror a little bit. Would he crush it at those table reads? Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, who can you do impressions of the people you were on SNL, what I could do, Daryl, a little bit.
Darrell Hammond is interesting. Now it's like it's like a whole thing.
You know, the Mafia was for years they had wild embargo's and these weird parties. And, you know, it's kind of weird because doing standup is, you know, it's I don't know what's happening with it. No, seriously, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, the Gotti family was for years trying to. Trying to infiltrate, you know, this massive extinctions of propaganda. I don't know if that sounds anything like them, by the way, but no, it has is essence the essence of it?
Yeah, I don't know.
The voice quite sounded like on that one. The essence of it is there. Yeah. Yeah.
The first time I saw him doing stand, I'm like, who do you like to do impressions? Like, who do you go back. I fucking kills it. Josh Robert Thompson. Evan Ferrante is amazing. Tom Cruise, there's there's a lot of guys out there obviously called Donegan's great.
And oh, God. Kazunori Caliendo and.
Yes, but what was the one that the most recent one that was just so I would think amongst impressionists, the obscurity level of difficulty, sort of uncharted waters of people that you've seen anything stick out, that you just saw somebody doing like, oh, my God. That's a good one. Let me think well, Donegan's always surprising me, you know, he's always doing so many new his like his Biden, I thought was just fantastic, you know, you know, just to do something different with it.
And, you know, I love this. Ray Liotta. Yeah, Israeli is awesome. Like fucking smokin with janta.
Yeah. Yeah. I can't. With the cigarette going in and out of yeah, going in and out is smoking while he's doing it, I fucking love fucking green screen it out.
Yeah, I can sometimes see when when someone cracks the code, do you go fuck it was the lip and you're like, shit, it was right there. Or you go, oh they missed it. Yeah, it just depends on what what impression it is, if it's like. It's been how much it's been done and how you feel about it yourself, what you can do with it, like as far as making it funny. I don't know.
Just just depends. Just depends.
I need to try I want to try to do Biden. I got to figure out how to do Biden. So that's that's the answer to your question. You up against that? Like everyone's version of them. But I just watch interviews and I just like watching interviews are the best, you know, to try to get an impression. Yeah. Well, you know, it's weird just how like. That I'm always amazed at, like when somebody is president and then they're not president, like they go away like a fuckin boy band.
Yeah, except for Bill Clinton, that guy just, you know. So he's always sniffing around the parties, right? But like everybody else, it's just like I don't think I think I've seen George W. Bush like three times since he was president one time because he was hanging out with Ellen. He just they just go into the ether. Yeah. And he's just like, you are so like maybe like burnt out.
And just the level of fucking fame. That that is and then no matter what you do, 50 percent of the country thinks you have your fucking head up your ass. It's got to be the craziest gig. In the way that they age and all of that stuff, I was just thinking that we said Biden because the first time I thought a Trump. You know what, I know what, ever since he left. I don't know. Yeah. Do you think he was in the ether?
Trump, yeah, no, I don't think they'll be so fucking cool if we did that. What do you mean, guys out in the ether? What do you mean, just like just never, never tweeted a guy? No, they kicked him off Twitter, right?
Oh, yeah. Like. You just never heard from him again. And I swear to God, and I'm fucking talking even CNN, after a while, the curiosity factor would get to them and they would want to go talk to him. Yeah, I like how they always, no matter how, like whatever disgraced you or whatever, if you just shut the fuck up for a good 10, 12 years, people will come, will be fair to him and they'll come back around.
So what are you trying to do? Trying to put your life back together? Yeah, it was the time out long enough, yeah, it'd be funny to see him sit down with that. Was it Rachel Meadows, the one who cried when he got elected?
Rachel was really a low point in journalism. I always bring that up. It's just like Jesus fucking Christ. There's no crying on the fucking news. Sorry, anyway. Hey, do you have a this is going to sound super obscure.
Do you have impressions of people we don't know that like you grew up with that are really funny, like you have to have impressions of like, oh, this is like because like for us, I do.
Sometimes I'll do an impression of Brody and my daughters. Did an impression of Brody one time. Yeah. There's someone that didn't know who Brody was because Brody used to live by us so far across the street, you know, where his Starbucks was. My daughters would always go, Dad, Brody Stevens. And someone heard their impression of Brody and goes, who's that?
And they go, It's a comedian. You would know. And they're like, no, it's like if you did an impression in my bag, it's still funny even not knowing your bag, right? Yeah.
Yeah. Like Francisco Ramos. Yeah. You guys know Francisco. Yes. My tongue is too big for my my my my. From fifth column of my tongue are too big for my mouth.
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Can you do an impression of Rogen? I tried to do wrong and it's not easy.
OK, all right. I don't really think I do. So that's how it starts.
So you start with that little seed of like a cadence, not even words.
And yeah, it starts out with that. That's the bottom layer.
And then and then there's the good the good crack is. Yeah. Like he always takes a year like always.
OK, all right. I can, I can, I can. It's far off. This is, this is building the skeleton. Yeah. You build the skeleton that way. Yeah.
So if you just watched him for like how long. A couple of weeks. You could have something. I have something for you. I could bring some back to you. I'm not trying to add to your workload here man. I was just curious. No I don't.
Yeah. I mean, yeah, if I had to do it like that's how I did when Bill O'Reilly once on SNL. And that's that was like, can you learn this? And then I did learn it really can happen. How long did you have to to learn it? The week. Yeah, I'll just. No specific time, just like try to get this down if try to see if you can do this one, you know, but I've got a pretty.
Pretty quickly, is there someone you can't crack like where you go? I've been trying forever and I just can't get that guy.
I don't know. I need to be I need to be more aggressive about, you know, like like Breaking Bad. Like Jesse Pinkman. Not that one took a little while. You know, if I were to just write bitch, right, you know, I don't care what you know, right, bitch, tell me what I need to know. OK, bitch. Right. I don't even care. OK. All right.
You a long time ago, fucking 30 something years ago, I worked in a warehouse and we all we had an impression of everybody down in the warehouse, people we had never even talked to out in the suit area. What we just thought and we built back stories. I never even realized it. But like some of those guys that I worked with. Could have been comedy writers, one of the guys really had a good ear, and he came up with this impression of this guy and we all started doing it.
He had this weird way of talking like you call his name and you got yeah, what a it's a jab. So we started talking like that in his whole back story was he was a Vietnam vet rapist. And we used to say, I swear to God we would sing this. You could do this at work. We would sing along to the radio, changing the lyrics, making it rhyme, singing about his rapes in Vietnam at the top of our fucking lungs, loading, loading and unloading trucks.
How old are you? Like 19, 20, I remember he was like six, six, and one day I kissed him off and he fucking threw a punch at like I thought he was too far away. He was so fucking tall. It just kept coming. And at the last second, when I was he fucking punched me right in the back of the head, there was like, I swear, there was like a person in a workstation between me and him.
And all he did was lean forward. I remember he had he had the keys and he had like that one of those fucking little exacta wheels, quick knives. He had that on his fucking hip and he had had enough. And I was right around Christmas. So every song, if I had a hammer, we just a crime that he would commit.
I don't know, but that's the only people I could ever do. I could only do people I ever worked with. You know, club owners or something like that, but even then but then the second I leave after the weekend, I can't fucking do them anymore, right?
Yeah, that happens. I wanted to be able to do impressions so bad when I started because I could do impressions of musicians if I sang the song like I had a great impression of Eddie Vedder when I was in college, I had long hair and I'd put my hat on backwards, tuck my hair by my ears and start going, you floor.
And I could get I could get into it. And everyone, you're like, you can't tell how I feel like I was strong arming my impressions being like, that's fucking identical. But I think it was that I committed they felt embarrassed not to like they're like he's really coming. Looked like them too. I did look like him that the guy from the beat. Fifty twos I used to do. This is my impression of the lead singer of the B 52 singing Jane says and Jane says, Sergio, oh wait.
Does this happen to you all the time? Deaf people do bad impressions back to you like my stupid one about a guy you never met. Ray, are you doing. Yeah, it is like, oh, I never met that guy. I'm sure that's right on point.
That's nice. Yeah. Yeah. Happy for, you know. I mean these are good impressions. There's, there's no bad, there's no bad impression really is there. Sure there is.
You don't know the guy but this is what he sounded like. Yeah. Does that mean can you do accents then. Like can you do like this is a perfect Russian accent. Like across.
Not really. I mean it just depends. It depends sometimes. Sometimes are we to live with this woman? We live next to is really talented, but she was a fucking character, she just said Yeah, like it was her anxiety thing.
Like, you come over and you've got to talk to you like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
As you were talking and my favorite one was she with she said yeah because yeah.
When I was talking to one time she goes Yeah because you have this like and I remember when we moved into the house the guy who sold it said yeah it goes, the neighbor says Yeah a lot of the great disclaimer, I drop something here.
Where did you grow up? Do you where did you grow up? And Walnut Creek, California, in the Bay Area, oh, so you don't you kind of were born without an accent. Yeah, I guess, yeah.
California, I could say, like, a lot.
Yeah. I feel like I feel like I wonder if it's harder for people that are like come from like Texas, like Oregon, just do so. Can you is it inappropriate to do black dudes? It's a good question, I don't know. I think you got to get it just right here with the voice, if you missed it, the make up. Yeah, you got to nail that. But I do like East Coast, I can do this guy, Ronnie, this fucking Ronnie Schwerin, just like sure, I used to wear pajamas, enjoy fucking realize their pajamas anymore.
So I stopped wearing pajamas. Yeah, that's it.
You know, do you find yourself not listening to people and you just you're more trying to pick up on what they're doing. Like, you really know, like I don't really do it on purpose, I kind of like just naturally study people, I think, and just kind of just something I find myself doing. I just imagine being other people, I think it's maybe the root of it. I'm a shape shifter from another planet coming to get you and kind of get.
What's the name of your podcast, the Jeff Richard Show?
And you just bring on and you bring on a comic, but then you do the character that all in all, they say the guys that I've never had my own show.
And each week I get a guest host and that's like me doing an impression and then have the guest. So the guest host and interviews.
So you when you were on with Harland Williams, that's Harland Williams, right?
Yeah. Interesting. And then. And like with Bill, we had Louis, I did Louis. What if you have a clue on who would you do? That's a good question. Maybe you do, Bill, get you down. All you got to do, I want to learn you. I don't I don't know if it's I don't know if I'm I don't think I'm ready to do it right now, but it seems like the right time. Let's hear it.
Well, I just there is a moment that you said remember when I said as Louie, I was like I was like I said, what's your relationship with sunscreen? And you go, I don't have one. And then and I go, well, you know, they have they have moisturizer that has built sunscreen and you go, Yeah, that's like shampoo when they put the conditioner and the shampoo together. It's never as good as if you just have the shampoo or you just have the conditioner on their own.
Says, My talk is the worst I watched I watched Bill special with my girls the other night, it was it was really fascinating to watch because LeAnn is my wife has doubled over. Eila is Ķiģelis things. It's hilarious. And Georgia is laughing. But you can tell that hurts her, like when he goes out when in soccer something. And you can tell Georgia is 16, her social justice warrior pops up. But as I'm watching it, I'm like, God damn it, man, I bet there is an impression here.
Like the bills laugh that I. God, I hope I don't laugh like that. All right, you guys work on your impression when I'm not here. This is like fucking brutal.
There's been a couple of guys I've seen I've done like did it better than me, a couple people like just people on the Internet, like random people. Yeah, yeah. Some guy in Germany, my wife sent it to me and I was just like, whoa. Like, he sounded exactly like me. Fun, it's fun to hear yourself right? Yeah, but you don't listen to too much of it because then you don't want to start, like, either leaning into what they're doing or stop doing what you're doing.
You still have to kind of be yourself, but you don't you must find that a lot like people like, listen, I love the Depression. I can't listen to one that you're doing to me. I'm totally flattered, but I can't be that I'm like outside of me watching me. Yeah. OK, here you go. You ready?
And I'm going to teach you how to do an impression of a comedian, Bill Burr. So put a hat on. So you look bold, is so bold and you want to go. And, you know, when you have the right and right, then freaking hold it. I'm a German and I do impressions of comedians and I look at my face and I'm freaking for the right. Not trying to be perfect. Oh, my God. Not trying to be a jerk.
Bill, that's so fucked. That was so amazing.
Now that guy was like he's just like carbon copy it like that.
That was like the best one that I'm not like I watch a bunch of them, but like my wife came in and you got to see this. And I thought it was just I thought he was mocking doing impressions in the beginning because his voice was so high up and then out of nowhere, which was really a great misdirection, then he came in.
I was just like, whoa, all right. Let's see if there's a person to me. No, but I my impression I've always been insulted by an impression of me.
So it's like me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.
And I'm like, not like that. Were you're listening to you inside your head? That's why I remember the first time you listened recording yourself a recording of your act, like I thought my voice was a lot deeper than that, or I thought I was talking a lot slower. I go 90 miles an hour. I feel like I sound like I hit it. Took a hit a fucking helium. Yeah, I want. Jon Favreau would be a good impression because I feel like Jon Favreau has got he's super identifiable, you know, Vince Vaughn, Jon Favreau, Favreau be hard because his energy is like really super, super chill.
Like, I got to work with them a couple of times, and even if that's like a stressful thing going on, he's just he's a thinker, man. He just, like, super smart.
It just kind of takes it in like really like. Like, I don't know, really, like measured. Like, I just remember that because I aspire to be more like that rather than flying off the fucking handle. Like I want to with this stupid little fly that keeps going by my screen. So how you've been doing your podcast twice a week. No, once a week, I think I'm going to start doing it once every other week. You got to work up the impression, yeah, it's just too much, too much in booking.
All the guests, as you know, is not easy to do.
And it's a descript out pretty much all of your parts or get chunks of ideas or do you just free form it or write some questions?
People help me with the questions, Kelly and a couple of people. And I get the questions put on the board, some keywords, and then I just try not to go to the questions right away. Like what, Bill? I don't think we even got into a question till halfway through or something.
Now, he was amazing. He was just riffing the whole time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We walk chardy blood vessels. That's what it is. It's black. I was going up its back.
He doesn't, he doesn't move anything but but the elbow just about two inches which is on the elbow and you just use this.
Show me Laundryman. How often like. Like, how many times did you watch the feud before you got that down, you just start looking at the matter? I mean, do that's like really like high level acting? I feel like those impressions because I remember the first time Joe DeRosa told me I watched this thing on John Travolta and he showed how each of these different iconic characters he did how they walked. And also, he does the walks, every fucking thing I've ever done.
The guy walked exactly like me, right? And the fact that, like character actors and impressionists that you guys get all the way like it's it's unrealistic. You fucking zip up just somebody else. I don't know. I don't know how you guys do that shit. My hat's off to you to show you my bald head. Thank you.
You ever do that? You ever do that? I think you just kind of get into it and just, you know, just.
Just because you don't have time to think with this show, you don't have time to think and you're trying to throw me off, so all my friends, come on, they're all trying to throw me off. Right. So so you got that challenge of it and it's just fun. No, I just really hasn't tried to throw you off. I just know. But in a good way, but in a good way. You're playing you're playing with me, you know.
OK, right. So it's like. You know, you're trying to get me to break, you know, I got one can can I throw out a scenario and a guy and maybe you can do it. Try. Can you do Dustin Hoffman if he was working security at the Capitol when all those lunatics came in to break it? Now breaking the windows, oh, shit. Oh, shit, this is this is Dustin Hoffman, can you hear me coming in loud?
It's Dustin Hoffman as Soulwax. We had a meltdown, baby.
They're coming up. The stars, some of them are painted, some of them got sticks. Some of them got little Tasers.
I don't know what to do. Yeah, bitch.
I'm going to wait. I'm not going around the corner and wait. I'll be around the corner if you need me.
Dustin Hoffman kind of sounds like Barry Katz a little bit once, you know, it is what it is. Yeah, well, you want me to give you manager manager advice, get out of the business. Get out of the business. Get out where you can.
Did you ever hear Bruyn's is the best Barry cats or do they just at one point? At one point, yeah. Yeah, Breuer's does. I'll tell you what, in all honesty, I do the best bury cats. But you have to have enough mind fucks from Barry to get to get it. All right, let me hear it.
OK, so then I'll do mine. Everybody does a barrel. So yeah. This is how Berio is.
Talk to me. OK, so Jeff, you play me and I'll be Barry. OK, ok. Hi, Barry. Hey, hey, Pop. Hold on, hold on. Bear with me for a second. Bear with me for that again. All right. Hey, you drink last night?
Yeah. Well, but. Why is that the bad? I. You know, I drink it because I was I would melt down every time I was like I was drinking. I mean, we got some weed and a little bit of coke. Jesus Christ, Barry, what do you want? A fucking.
It's a technique when you don't say anything to someone, they just let let them meltdown. Yeah.
He wouldn't say a fucking word. He just sit on the other end of the phone. And I was like, is he still there?
I remember thinking I remember taking a meeting with that guy in on his coffee table. He had a book on mind control, was right out there in the open. Let me go call me.
He used to call me up like two months after I left him a message on something important when he was managing me. And it'd be like, yeah, Bill, this is Gary Katz calling.
I'm returning your phone call ministration. He did that joke every fucking time from the Carter administration.
Listen, I'm all over it covering it, OK? They decided the pass. But don't worry, you're going to be a big star. OK, Poppa. All right. I'll talk to you again soon. And then I wouldn't talk to him again for, like, fucking six months. And I'd call him, like, a month after that. I wouldn't hear him from four months. Hey, this is very cat calling you back from the Carter administration.
He did the same fucking joke.
Every time you're incredibly talented and year you have a bill and he's that I want to be able to exploit in Hollywood.
I want you to give yourself to me and I'll make you powerful.
Good night. I'm still waiting around the we're on the bed. Yeah.
I would make sure when you get the check tonight at the college gig, you don't open it up.
It's made out to mean I'm off my I'm going to be a big star. I'm going to be a big star.
You know, the thing I love about Burt. He loves the pressure. Yeah, he I'll tell you what I mean. For as much as everyone shits on Barry and I'm right now, Barry is going people shit on me. He gave me some of those most moving speeches, the most moving fuckin like just his cadence could get into my head.
Top of Yamashiro, I want to tell you a story about Hideo Nomo.
Oh, that is.
Yeah, I tell you, it's great. Can I tell you what's great is it was one of the best speeches I've ever gotten. Hideo Nomo I guess gets traded to the get traded to the fucking Red Sox or whatever and he, because he hasn't done anything in the first game out he throws a no hitter. Do you know why he threw a no hitter. They didn't see him coming Pompa. No one expected anything from him. That's why you're going to go in and you're going to book this fucking part.
You're going to show Les Moonves that you're a motherfucking rock star.
And then I booked the goddamn part. And I'm talking to someone like six years later, I'm telling them about Barry Katz. And I started to tell the story and he goes, You've got the day on Nomo speech to went back.
I remember one time he fucked me out of money.
He voted for me along. When they came to pay me back, I didn't know what they were talking about. I just just keep the fucking money. I don't give a shit. What is it. Seventy five bucks.
I did some Hellgate for you in New Hampshire trying to make it right.
I'm trying to make it right. Well, Barry, what if you didn't make it? You would have left with my money. Stop me. I mean, now that you fucking got all this money. I was putting our money back in Boston, guys, man, I love Barry.
I did his podcast one time and I just shit on him for fucking an hour and a half. And I don't think I've ever seen anybody enjoy it more. He was dying laughing.
I listen to that podcast was a good podcast. We had a great time. I love Barry. I love Barry. I wouldn't be in business. Oh, no. I wouldn't open a fucking lemonade stand with them. I was a joke. I said, but I'll fuckin hang out with him.
And I love Barry. No, but I love it.
Oh, no, buddy. I don't know what happened. I came here, all the lemons were gone. We don't have any more money. I just. I'm sorry. Can you get rid of this? Stand for me. For you can be a big star.
Someone told me someone Campbell Earl Campbell got traded to the Saints. Phillips had used the bomb, he had no hips left. That's what's going to happen to you here tonight. A idiot, you do that fucking joke. All right.
Was it Brewer? Brewer told me. And this is like the best, especially like when you're young, when you were a young varices like Pompa. How about the Grammys? You want to go and you're like, we had a they invite me is like, yeah, of course. So when you get there, they're going to have you put on a later suit. Listen, here's the deal.
You know, waiting tables are the first 30 minutes and then they're going to get you to see.
That's funny. He's a character. It's he has people that are characters are easy to kind of like. I don't think Barry's aware that he sounds like that even. He doesn't sound like I'm just doing I'm doing a bad impression of Brewer's amazing impression of him. I don't know, I'm a one trick pony. I can get one out of inanimate shit, half your fucking president.
All right, well, where can is so weird to end these podcast because nobody has any fuckin gigs anymore. The Jeff Richards Show, I imagine you see it on Apple and all your streaming devices.
Yeah, just if you go to the Jeff Richards show, Dotcom, take you from there and YouTube and Spotify and all those things. Yeah. All right. Last question. You know your favorite impression growing up? To do know just that you saw somebody do like when I was growing up, I loved Vinny, Bob Marino and Ted Baxter were my two favorite.
Oh, it's easy to grin when your ship comes in and you got the stock market beat. Jenny, what did you. Oh, my lord. No, no, no, no, no.
When he's got married when he was on Mary Tyler Moore, I worked with the guy who had that fucking laugh and the way up top and then coming down, it was just fucking was fucking bananas. So what about you, when you were growing up, like, what were the ones? Phil Hartman, Phil Hartman and Dana Carvey ones, I love those those guys like Frank Sinatra. And. You know, all the all the Dana Carvey stuff, I really zoned in on him as being like the one I.
Wanted to try to be like the most really, I think out of every like I think on the mountain. He's on the Mount Rushmore. Yeah, they Bellucci Eddie. Dana Carvey. And I don't know, maybe Will Ferrell, something like that, yeah, so many good ones there are there's too many good ones and I didn't name any women there, so now I'm going to get shit.
What about the latest movies and yours? Really great. Yeah. Was Cheri Oteri. Sherry, Terry, great, Rachel Dratch is one of a sleeper, I've always said the women, Debbie Downer is one of the funniest characters ever. The funny fuckin I mean, you show I can't have kids, but I'm like.
Yeah, I got to say this before I forget, the guy who does all the fake Scott Welsh is doing the defects from a very, very reasonable price and it's awesome.
Oh, for four years. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, I'm going to need to pay someone to do some deep fakes of me to say some really outlandish shit to cover all the regular outlandish shit I said I'm not going to name.
I thought he was an SNL cast member, aside from like, oh, yeah, yeah.
They'll be talking about.
All right, we've got to wrap this. I'll be readily waiting for your Rogan impression, OK? I think I'll start incubating. All right, we've got to recognize everybody. Yeah, dude, I win this fucking thing is finally over, you know, and we thank God for Schwarzenegger. Jesus Christ, did you see the logic? This guy's like tweet now just buckin. Oh. Just Google it because I don't want to read it and ruin it, because he fucking he just put it perfectly why you should be listening to doctors.
Hopefully you listen to doctors.
All right. Anyway, we have the wonderful Jeff Richards here. Everybody, this has been another amazing episode of the Bill Burt Pod Cast.
All right, please, please check out the Jeff Richardson show on all your streaming networks that are you saying. All right. See you next week.