Coming up, week 2 NFL, pretty much in the books. Week 3, Guess the Lion's Coming. Sal's next. We're also brought to you by the Ringer podcast Network. We have a new rewatch of us coming for you on Monday night. It's a movie you know very well. It has come out in the last 15 years. Those are your hints. I'm dumping the Larry David roll. You know what? He dumped the Jets. I'm dumping the Larry David roll. We're going back to just dropping the movies. We're doing bangers the rest of the year. I told you, you've seen all the movies we're going to do. We have a good one coming on Monday. It is relatively modern. You'll be excited about it. You can watch it as well in the Ringer Movies YouTube channel. You can watch all the clips and everything else from this podcast on the Bill Simmons YouTube channel, where we're going live every Sunday night with Cousin Sal. We're doing Guest Alliance. We're rehashing all the stuff that happened during the week. We're about to do that right now. But I think we have to bring in my friends who were just playing at Fenway Park tonight.

I wish I had gone. Pearl Jam. We made it, Sal. We're here. The Bear Saxons game is finally over. We're live on YouTube doing the Guess the Lion's BS podcast. That game started at 5:15. What the hell was that?

What happened? Why did they let that go so long? They could call that game, can't they? Meanwhile, what was the game? 21 Penalties?

What was the game earlier today that was like 2 hours and 40 minutes? It was over at... I don't know. Was it Cardinals Rans? One of those games was super fast. Houston, Chicago, quickly. Is Caleb going to survive until November with that offensive line? That was my big takeaway. I fear for this guy's life.

Really bad, really, really bad for them. I feel like they won time of possession somehow. I thought their drives were like 40 seconds long, but they won time of possession. I don't even know if it's the offensive line because they just don't want to pick up that blitzer from the alley. Whoever it is, just gets them full on.

They're like, Oh, we have five blockers. You have six guys. I guess Caleb's going to get hit again.

Yeah. Here comes another Roman Reign's spear. Here's another one and another. They get them. It can't be cleaner.

Yeah. I didn't want to start with that game, but that was one takeaway, and the other was just, is there a good AFC team? I know people say, KC's 2-0. They're going for a 3P, but watching that, chief bangles game, which we're going to get into. I did not leave that game going, Man, the Chiefs are humming on all cylinders. You go through the AFC, Buffalo probably looked the best at anybody on Thursday night, right? But they're already banged up on defense. Pittsburgh is winning the AFC North right now. Afc South, we just watched Houston. They made a million mistakes. They couldn't even get to 20 points. I don't know what their play calling was doing. And you go on down the line, it's like the AFC feels wide open, right?

I'm with you. And even the Texans A 2-0 show. They should have put that game. I don't want to go back to this game now, but they should have had 30. I don't know if it's a bear's defense, but I feel like we're 13 weeks into the season already. Maybe week two is nonsense, and this is what we get for overreacting.

That's why none of us made any money. The thing is, we did the YouTube show today, and all we talked about was overreactions and watch out for this, watch out for that. And yet underdogs were 10 and 4 heading into tonight's game. Then the bears. Was that a cover or was that not a cover? What was that? A push?

No, that was- Was that 6 or was that an official cover? Hold on, chef. I'm going to see my sheet here. Let me go. Hold on. Hold on.

Let's see. Wait, I I just saw Biden's son on that. What was going on?

That was not a cover. That was not a cover. I'm sending this to Ukraine. You're right. No, not a cover. I think only one four-point favorite or higher covered today.

Okay. The Gross. The Underdogs were 11 and 4 today. Eight of those one outright. And they were landmines left and right. I jumped on two of them. House was trying to talk me out of Malik Willis going against him on Million Dollar Picks. The Jacksonville one, that was another one. We'll talk about all those. We're going to start with the 'O' and '2' teams, though. I read this. Since 2021, we've had 21 'O' and '2' teams with the 17-game schedule. Do you know how many of those teams made the playoffs? 21 teams. 21 'O' and '2' teams. So in 2021, '22, '23, we had 21 'O' and '2' teams.

I'm going to say all of them. I'm not good at this game. No, no, no. I'll say three.

Is it three or four? Is it Okay. All right.

I couldn't even tell you.

Only four of them went nine and eight or better. So granted, small sample size, but also not that small. 22, since he in 23 Houston win their divisions. The 21 Colts made the playoffs. One other team went nine and eight. Everybody else was under. O and two is a little bit more of a death sentence than I think people realize because the season's so long, you just feel like there's a million twists turns. You can do whatever. Cincinnati, we'll start with them. They're on to. Giveaway loss to the Pats. I still don't know the Pats score 16 and somehow control the game and beat them. Then just a choke job today, right? The game they should have won. The Burrow fumble TD, Jamar Chase gets to 15-yard penalty to basically knock them out. They have to kick field goal because he can't stop yelling at the ref. Then the coup de grav, fourth and 16, they rush three. That's a great idea. Let's give Mahomes 8 seconds and then pass interfere on the fourth and 16th pass. The rookie hit them early. The Chiefs ended up winning. It was at the moment they had the three guys.

I was like, Oh, my God. They've never seen Mahomes play in their lives. And somehow the Chiefs steal another one. The Chiefs could be 0-2.

I know. There's a couple of those teams that could be 0-2. First of all, can we just tell everyone to pump the brakes with the, Oh, the reps give the chiefs the game. They did it again. That was the right call.

It was the right call. What are you doing? You're not allowed to do that.

Yeah, but they were bailed out. It's like, All right. It's like saying, Oh, that cop is making tons of money for the local government. It's like, yeah, but the guy was doing 65 and a 30. You have to call that. That's stupid.

The Burrow Fumble was a little weird. I found it hard to believe we didn't have a good angle of the Burrow Fumble with the 45 cameras we have. I was like, I guess it's got to call us in. I have no idea if that was a Bumbo or not.

Yeah, you just see where he strips them, tries to strip them violently. You don't actually really see if the ball comes out.

From the positives, the Bengals talk shit all week. I was terrified of this game. This is one of the few possible teases I completely stayed away from. Burro looked better. I thought they should have won the game. They were right there. He had more time to throw, which I thought was good. They still didn't have Tee Higgins in this game. They're to not make the playoffs plus 110. So basically even money. They are not even close to being a cross-off to me. I thought those were two stupid losses.

No, you can't cross them off, I think, mainly because what's the seven seed in the AFC? They're one-on-one, right?

What do you mean? The seven seed would be one-on-one. At this point, yeah.

That's what I'm saying. They're only a game out of the seven seed right now. And they're one of the three teams that did just what you said. They came back from 0-2 and made the playoff. So there's a little bit of pedigree, I guess, if you will. But yeah, I don't know. He's throwing to the tight end. I think he needs Tee Higgins more. I think they threw the tight ends like 16 times or something crazy.

Who was buried in the paths last year.

Yeah. They need more. I guess we saw Lou Anarumo's defense for most of the game until they led up in the fourth. But it was a classic Chiefs game, if you ask me.

Well, we could talk about them quick. It's stupid. You just feel like they're going to steal these games if it's late. It's very similar to the mid 2000s pats. There's been basketball teams like that. They're like, Oh, man, don't let these guys hang around. They're going to make two plays. It's probably the only team in the league where it's fourth and 16. They're like, Oh, my God, they're going to get this. It's 50-fif. It's going to happen. But I will say on the Chiefs, I know we have Morrow and two teams to get through. But on the Chiefs, the no Hollywood Brown looks like he's out for the year. Kelsey, it's playing out exactly how we thought. He's, I don't want to say irrelevant, but not really that involved either. It just seems like they have him in the garage with one of those fancy covers over him. They're not using him that much. But from an explosive standpoint, Rice made one big play, and that was really it. They don't really seem to have a backup running back. I know they have Perrine as the third down guy, but they're bringing in Carson Steel with two minutes left.

And both of these wins, they had this rookie who was like, really, this is your backup running back in a big moment? So I don't know. They seem a little thin, but they're the Chiefs, and they're going to go 13 and 4.

They rely on that guy, that Curry, the The guy with the crazy hair a lot, the running back. Yeah, and I think the check is banged up, too. They had to, right? So he was 19 for 19. So if he's hurt, that's another thing. And I think people were banking on Xavier worthy being like, Oh, he's going to be a threat. He's going to be a go-to guy. He might have three or four touches a game, and you have to hope that one of them explodes.

Yeah. So I don't know. They have some other tight ends. They just extended one of them.

I think the thing you could say about the Chiefs is they're the team to beat, right? That's the best thing you could say about this thing. Well, they're the team to beat.

Well, nobody's taken the spot yet, but that goes back to the- Check back with us in January.

Yeah, they're the team to beat.

Well, I'm not... It's stupid to cross off an 0-2 team, but I wouldn't. I'm not ready to panic about the bangles. Last year felt worse. Last year was like, Oh, man, I don't know. And then it just seemed like they had year from hell potential. This year, I think they'd probably play out of this. All right, Baltimore is our next That's another team that's two plays away from being 2-0. Lamar did make the comment after the game about how they have to get their mojo back. The big concern for me, so Vegas beats them. Vegas is historically bad in the ball this year. They're 17 for 27 today. Their offense was 4.3 yards per play. The game felt over for two plus hours. And then all of a sudden, it's like, Oh, no. They're up 10. There we go. Vegas driving again. And And then all of a sudden, the game was tied. And they're like, All right, Lamar, can you just done this? No. Then Vegas had the ball again. Wait, is Vegas going to win? And then all of a sudden, the game was over. What the hell happened?

I'm looking at the numbers. They should have put this game away. This is what they did last year. Remember at home, they were beating teams by 30 and 40. They were putting them away, especially a team like the Raiders, who I know are a knuckleball squad that you just want to strangle. But they had 150 yards rushing, 84 from Henry. It all They all added up like they should have scored in the 30. So I don't know why they ended up with 23, and we're relying on Tucker kicks still.

Right. And he missed a long one. That's their fourth double-digit lead in the fourth quarter that they've blown since 2022. The thing that concerned me, they had a bunch of penalties, too. They had 11 penalties. The thing that concerned me, though, it just seems like you could move the ball down the field on them when you need to. Bauer, who was awesome, and Adam said 20 catches today. Minchou was like 80%, and it just felt like every time he needed to throw for seven, eight yards, once they realized they couldn't run the ball, they could do it. I don't know if that gets better for the Ravens. For them, for no play-offs, it was plus 104. So it's pretty in the neighbor of the bangles. I got to say, I put them in a couple of teases today. I was like, Baltimore is not going on, too. They're home. They're playing Garner Minchou. This is take care business. This is the only second 0-2 start they've had with Harba in 16 years. I have more concerns for them than the bangles.

We talked about it all week. We said, They're the no way this team is going 0-2 team, right? Where the bangles screwed everybody on the eliminator pick last week. This was the Ravens. We could make it. You can have a perfect eliminator pick, just picking good teams to win every week, and they don't. They just come up short. I don't know what's going on with this league.

I don't even really know how to explain the Vegas comeback, but I will say Bauer's was awesome. He just has it. He's one of those. He's like a video game tight-end. They throw over the middle. It's almost like he's looking for dudes to run into so he can bounce off this guy, this guy, carry this guy.

Tappee, he'll spin. I think he actually scored. They didn't give him the countdown, but I actually think he scored on that one.

Their next three. Here's another reason I'm a little more bullish on Cynthia, although their schedule is not a walk in the park either. Their next three, Baltimore at Dallas next week, home Buffalo at Cincinnati.

Yeah, this was one of the stretches.

To win the division, They are still favored plus 185 on FanDuel since he's plus 190. Pittsburgh's plus 360, they're two and oh. And your Cleveland Browns plus 450. What are they? Nobody in that division is... Basically, it's two to one and up if you want to bet on that division.

Remember when we tried to pick first through fourth in this division? I was like, no, good luck, man. You can give me 30 guesses. I'm not going to get it.

What do you think that Baltimore offense is missing?

Like I said, I was looking at those numbers. What would you Come on out of Henry. Hey, if you can get us 18 for 84.

I was watching it going, oh, man. I don't even know. They have power running. They have good tight ends. Flowers is good. It seems like they have speed with Aguilar. I don't know what I would add.

We were saying their best offensive play through all of it is, though, when their offensive line breaks down and Lamar just takes off up the middle, right? And so that's maybe why they're not so hot in the red zone, because you lose that if he doesn't have timeouts or doesn't have the end zone to back them up. So I don't know, though. I really am more concerned about their defense. I think that initial point that you can move on them. I don't know if it's a Patrick Queen thing or what, but they need to... It's That's the one thing to say if it's Patrick Mahomes doing it, but when Garner Minchou, it's not like good quarterbacks are going in there and embarrassing them.

A team that basically said, We can't run the ball. We're just going to throw it every down, the Ravens to let them throw. I have real concerns about them. I'm slightly more concerned about them than Cincinnati. Next one is Jacksonville. Now, their odds are a little different. What do you think their odds are not to make the playoffs?

To not? Okay, so the Texans are 2-0, everybody else in that division is 0-2. To not is minus 180 or is it higher?

Minus 3:55. Wow. Vegas is like, We've seen enough. This is the worst coach team in the league. We're out. This is the dumbest team in the league. It's enraged me that I bet on them today, especially coming back after last week against Miami. They took the stupid up seven notches in this game. Sal, they had... First of all, Cleveland was 2 for 14 on third down and one. Cleveland had 13 penalties for 100 yards and still one. Jacksonville had first and goal from the two, settled for a field goal. First and goal from the 19 inside the rent zone, field goal miss. First and goal from the six, countdown. Second and goal from the two, Went backwards, kicked a field goal. This is the stupidest team you've ever watched. And it's like, Hey, Trevor Lawrence, is there a guy you can overthrow in a huge moment? Oh, there he is. Trying to throw it right over his head. I just can't I understand them. I really can't. I'm never betting on them again, and I probably will next week.

They're brutal. I picked them to win the division. I'm ashamed of myself. And I send you, I'm going to do this every week. I send you and Hinch and House. The first, those 1:00 PM games, the first half stats for the quarterbacks, they're miserable. Everybody's at 40 yards. Everyone's at 46 yards. But this one, Trevor Lawrence had 16 yards, and Jack Fox, the punter for Detroit, had 17 yards. What the odds could you have gotten on Jack Fox over Trevor Lawrence at halftime?

Trevor Lawrence was so bad for the first two hours of this game that I almost couldn't believe it. Because I have him in two fantasy league. I bet him to throw for 4,000 yards. He was just Healing the ball all over the place. And then Thomas, who I think gets three targets a game, who every time they throw to him, it's the most exciting play on any TV. It's these 50 yards downfield jumping up. And then it's like, All right, put that guy on ice for another hour. I don't understand how they're on two. I actually thought they should have won both of those games. I don't understand how you don't beat Deshaun Watson. Deshaun, to his credit, was better than last week. He definitely hung in there. He made some good throws.

He took a couple good throws. Did you see how he tried to blow it at the end, though, with the clock management?

Oh, he sure did.

Snap in the ball with nine left on the play clock. And then does that roll out on third down where you're supposed to just take a knee, and then he has a defender in his face, and he chucks it into his face mess. So that stopped the clock. I was like, How is Jackson getting the ball back with 137 left, let alone any time? And yeah, they almost blew it.

Jacksonville is a classic. They get the ball back. It's that they're on the three-yard line. They're down three. It's like less than four minutes left, five minutes left, whatever it was. And it's just like, they're so fucking stupid. Lawrence is probably going to get sacked for a safety. Whatever play they're running here, it's probably a play where he's going to hold the ball and get sacked for his safety. You're just watching it going. You could see it coming off the highway. Then, of course, he did. No quick pass, no just quick run up the middle to buy five yards, no send Thomas down the sidelines to just chuck it and see if he can run under it, get a PI. No, it was the Trevor Lawrence, I'm going to take three steps back. My first read isn't open, then I'm just going to curl right into a sack. They are so stupid. How is this always the worst coach team?

You know what I sense in your voice more than just, you lost money and I lost I know, but I think you're also disappointed in Trevor Lawrence. I am. I think we have to be. We have to be disappointed in the quarterbacks who were once deemed good, and God knows, maybe even people were sending them to the Hall of Fame. And now, because they're so bad as a bunch, these quarterbacks, we can't lose any good ones or mid-range ones even. So, yeah, I'm with you. It's disgusting.

He sucked and he sucked and he sucked. And then he made this awesome scramble. And he ran downfield like a gazelle for 40 yards. And it looked like he was going to run in the end zone and put his shoulder down and just pull his way in. And instead, he did this weird tiptoe thing, got tackled on the two, and then they went backwards. I don't even think they scored. They might have settled for a field goal. But that's just something's missing with that guy. They're so weird. We thought this was going to be the year he blossomed. Instead, it's like, now I have more doubts than ever with them. Anyway, no playoffs for them. Minus 3:55.

That's high. 3:50, you said? Yeah. I'm not going the other way because I already have enough on them, but that is high.

The Rams, they're our fourth 0-2 team. Their entire team is now in the hospital. I don't know if you realize. Cooper Cup couldn't make it two weeks. The Arizona game was over. People didn't even realize it was on yet. It was the 4:05 game. We were like, Hey, I think there's a game on, and you go, and it was already seven, nothing. And Arizona ran all over them. No playouts for them now, Sal. Minus It's 100. Yeah. Next three games, San Francisco home, at Chicago, Home Green Bay. I don't know if this is our year from Health Team yet, but this is the heavy favorite that this is the year from Health Team. So we had nine guys go down already.

It's funny. We went back to back Jacksonville and the Rams because I picked both of them to win the division. Really, you should do this podcast with somebody else, anybody else. Just grab Ben Simmons. I don't know why I have the Rams in there.

Which Ben Simmons?

My son or the- Have them in our entire basketball party. Either one will work. But yeah, because I love this game for the Rams. I bought into the trend. What is he? Thirteen and two? Sean McVay against him. And by the way, we stayed away from the trend Thursday night. Oh, the bills they own, Josh Allen on Thursday night. I'm like, damn it, I'm not doing this again. I'm taking, I'm going with the trend. The Rams are better. The Cardinals have no defense. Look at this. Kyla Murray has already disarray his relationship with Marvin What a trick that was, huh? What a trick that was. Like, Hey, it's not my fault if he can't catch the ball. I'm like, Oh, he's done with him. And like you said, before anyone knew the game was on, he had two touch downs. It was 14-nothing. But I think you're right about the Rams being done.

Harrison, every single play he made was completely different than the previous awesome play he made. He basically played the hits. It was like a YouTube video. I think the Rams are done. Kup going down was the final straw. Now they don't have Kup or Puka heading into the air. I I ended up putting them in the playoffs, but my fear was they were so top-heavy. It's like, fuck, man, if they lose one receiver, if Stafford goes out three weeks, you just start going down. It's like an eight-man team.

Yeah, I don't have enough confidence in 2-2 at well to carry them for the next 15 weeks.

We have a couple more in two teams left, but let's take a quick break. Coming off a great week, too. Fanduel has given you another chance to start the season with a big return on America's number one sportsbook. You will get started with $200 bonus bets guaranteed when you place your first $5 bet on tonight's game, Falcons at the Eagles. You could do a little same game parlay. Maybe you think Kirk Cousins is going to throw a pick. The Eagles deal You got to pick the Eagles money line, Jalen Hertz, anytime TD, something like that. Or you could just take the Eagles money line and throw it with something else in week three. Visit fanduel. Com/bs to make every moment more of this season. Fanduel, an official sportsbook partner in the NFL. Must be 21 plus in President's select states or 18 plus in President DC. First online real money wage or only $5 first deposit required. Bonus issue does not what you're able to bonus, which expires seven days after a seat. Restrictions apply. See terms at sportsbook. Fando. Com. Call 1-800 Gambler or visit rg-help. Com. Okay. I forgot we were on YouTube.

I just pause for- Yeah, we can't do that. Sorry, people watching YouTube.

This is what you He usually moon me.

This is when he used you usually do cocaine. I forgot. I was going to do three bumps. All right, next on in two team, Indianapolis, who gave up 473 yards rushing over the last two weeks. They lost to Malik Willis today, who I don't think attempted a pass that traveled in the air for more than five yards. He was 12 for 14, 122 yards. He had 6 carries for 41 rushing yards. You had to see it to believe it. Gus Bradley, who a lot of the diehard football people have been saying is terrible for a a while. This was his masterpiece. He was so bad. They were third and ones with Monique Willis as the quarterback, where they had five guys on the line and two linebackers. He was going to throw deep. I was just speechless. I couldn't believe how dumb that... I would have put all 11 guys on the line. All they were doing was exactly what everyone said all week, including on most of our gambling shows, is, Hey, LaFleur, it's going to run a bunch of gimmicks, quick passes, little mini reverses, little pitches, and basically act like a high school football team.

And Gus Bradley is just in his base defense. That guy shouldn't last a week.

It made so little sense that I bet the packers. I was like, Are you kidding me? They didn't break anyone in to compete with Malik Willis this week. What do we see with them? I can't even believe he's on a roster at this point. They're going to force me to bet on him. And then, you're right, you're right. The only way they're going to do it is to rush for 261 yards. And they did that. 151 for Jacobs. Yeah, Gus Bradley. I don't know. I forget who the D coordinator is for them, but just disgusting. And they took forever to score that last countdown. They really, really like running it like there's 11 minutes left.

I took the game up in TV at that point. Listen, Green Bay only scored 16 points. The Colts were just completely throttled by this packers defense that the Eagles basically crushed in Brazil. Anthony Richardson was not a good game for him. He's pretty raw. He makes some of the worst throws you'll see on the TVs on a Sunday. He had a couple of doosies today. Just looks really raw. There are no playoffses minus 400. I actually think that should be higher. They have a top four or five worst defense in the league.

I'm not sure about- You might have just picked the wrong south to have a combined 31 wins or whatever it was. It might just be that it's going to be the NFC South.

Well, Carolina is going to go in 17. What was the Fandil odds? Were 30 for the NFC South? Was it 30? We just had to make sure the other three don't get to 30. That's true. I don't see Indy making the play-outs. I don't see Tennessee making it either. Owen, two with two giveaway losses.

They have the worst quarterback. I mean, that guy is just... Whatever doctor you want to listen to, mayonnaise and the coffee definitely causes brain damage because that guy with the Willis, or Levis, backward flip that you're going to see when the coach is saying, What the fuck are you doing for millions of people to see? Maybe it's time to take him out.

What are we waiting for. Well, it's like both of our sons have played flag football when they're 10 or 11 or 12. Every once in a while, there's a flag football player. We're like, Oh, Mike, why did Johnny do that? Why did Johnny think he could just lateral it backwards to the referee? Just the stupidest things you ever see. Levis has done three of those.

He loves it. It's his go-to. It's his finisher.

He's just gaming. He's just out there like, whoa, hey. It's like, why should somebody play quarterback who's drunk? If he came out after, it's like, Will Levis has been drinking before these games. It's like, oh, that makes sense.

And with no memory either. It's like, oh, now I remember why everyone's mad at me because I did this last week in a game that was unlosable.

You're right. I shouldn't have thrown it to the other team. All right, Coach, I get your side of it. No I have minus 600. Denver. So the Bo'Nicks, the Bo'Nicks, Bryce Young passing stats are about as brutal as it gets. There's historically bad stuff. I watched that whole game because I really needed Pittsburgh to win for a variety of reasons.

You watched it because the NFL screwed us and gave us only three games. And there was only three games. Yeah.

There was 10 games early, 3 late. Denver controlled the second half secretly and just missed a couple of plays. But that game was a little scarier than 13 to 6. Pittsburgh did nothing in the second half. They couldn't move the ball at all.

I think Pickin set a record for celebrating plays that would call back for a penalty. It might have been three. But yeah, you're right. What's there? No playoffs.

It's got to be. It's like 20 to one. Yeah, 20 to 1.

They had a chance. Can we just talk about that game for a second? The way that ended. Why did they not onside kick? Has the league made the onside kick so impossible that Sean Payton is like, No, we have to kick deep with a minute 43 left and one time out? It's like, Really? You're going to get it back with 18 seconds. They got it back with eight seconds.

I have a different complaint about that. It's 13 to three. It's fourth and five. They're on the 10-yard line. They need two scores.

You go for it.

Yeah, because you're not going to... You kick a field goal, then you have to go 70 yards whenever you get the ball back. The much easier, more realistic snare is convert the fourth and five. You cut it to three. Then if you get the ball back, all you have to do is get to the 40-yard line because everybody kick a 50-yarder down. That's close. I was shocked that he just settled for the field goal. I'm watching it going, I have all money and I'm rooting for Pittsburgh because I have division bets on them and all kinds of things. I'm just like, Oh, my God, he's going to go for this and they're going to get it. They're going to fucking somehow force this game in overtime. But I thought he screwed that up, too.

Especially with the Steelers. The idea that you're going to get four first downs in a row against that defense is not probable. But I don't know. Not being able to onside kick. The guy who onside kicked at halftime against the Colts in the Super Bowl passes on the onside kick because of the new rule. I got to see what this looks like.

Do you think Bo Nicks is a starting quarterback?

He is on one of my fantasy teams. You pointed it out.

That's our double QB team.

I think we should have double kickers. You're right. Everyone's booming 55 yarders. I was against having kickers at all. I think everybody should have two kickers now.

Forget it. Maybe we should have a kicker league.

Yeah, you're right. Maybe that's the way to do it. But I still think Bo Nicks could maybe fight back somehow to be a quarterback in this league.

He was betrayed by his tight end with the long hair. What's his name? Dolchich. Yeah. He dropped at least two easy... He was just awful. I have not seen a lot from Bo that are like...

Can I just... I like... All year in the offseason, I interview ex-quarterbacks or whatever for the Ringer shows. I asked almost all of them about these three, and everybody's like, Oh, they're going to all be special. I know you're not allowed to say one of them is going to suck, but two or three of them are going to suck.

Yeah, that's how it is. It's just how it is. It's 50-50.

Isn't it? You can go back on that pretty much anytime you want.

It's the history of the league says 50-50 odds at best, maybe 40-60. Tomorrow and two teams, we can cross them off now. The Giants, who today against Washington became the first team ever to score three touch downs, give up zero touch downs, and lose. Apparently, their kicker, who had been banged up all week, but they weren't smart enough to make sure they had another kicker on the roster. That leads to that. Every Giants fan I know would probably run Joe Shane over in their car if there was no video cameras. They're really bad. Not a surprise. But somehow, Carolina is way worse. Carolina is minus 60 already for the season. We have 15 games left. They're minus 60. They've scored 13 points. Benching, Bryce. Shout out again to Steven Ruiz on my pod a month ago. This was one of his hottest takes that he thought Bryce Young would get this season. I think we're in range because it's that bad. It is like you can't have them on a TV. He's such a mess. I don't know if he makes it to November.

This is one of those 35-a-half guys that just doesn't give you a chance to win. You look at his first half stats, I'm just looking and trying to see as if it matters. But Andy Dalton is the backup. All right, so we'll get a good laugh out of that. But yeah, man, I don't know how much they could see This is a very sad franchise all of a sudden, and it doesn't really even matter who they play. Like, oh, the Panthers were six. That's a steal at six against the Chargers who don't travel. I went down to four and a half. Don't touch it. And Chargers were up before. That's the one game I didn't watch. I'll be honest. I was able to see nine games. I had to kick one of the 10 off.

I had it on my box that has the cable TV because House and I, for a Million Dollar Picks, we did Chargers first half, Chargers game. Smart. Plus 130. We're able to take it off in like 45 minutes and replace another game because it was just you could just tell right away. I think Carolina might be the worst team in any sport if the White Sox didn't exist. I think it's that bad. The White Sox are the worst, but at least the White Sox have a farm system and I guess some things they could point to. If you're the Panthers, what are you pointing to?

Yeah, it's like the White Sox still have a couple. It's like you wouldn't bench every White Sox starting pitcher, but Bryce Young has to sit because he just kills their offense. No chance at all.

Well, they can't block for them combined with... We've just seen this before with these young QBs, but I think Owen 17 is not crazy for them. I know it won't happen because the season's too long and they'll catch somebody in the wrong thing, but they just don't have any talent. Then Brown was their best defensive player. He's out.

Yeah. No, they played the Giants in Germany, October something. And that, I think, is going to be- You're right, early November. Is it November? Maybe it's November. That's the one. I could see them going Gooseeg, both those teams until then. That's going to be a treat.

We fucking stuck Germany with that one, huh?

Yeah, we should go to that game.

Fuck you guys. We still remember 80 years ago. Remember that? Okay, those are all the 0-2 teams. Let's play... Oh, two more games just to talk about quickly. Vikings Niners. Vikings 23, 9 or 17. The Vikes ended up with 407 yards and had no receivers in the fourth quarter of the game. Everyone was out, including Jefferson. Their defense was great. Sacked pretty six times. He had a fumble. No McAfree, obviously. San Francisco hasn't won in Minnesota since 1992. Did you know that? I had no idea that this was like... That's a long time. They were talking about it during the game. But the big thing is just the Sam Darnold renaissance. I have one of my best is a huge Vikings fan. He mailed me the clip of Darnold walking in the locker room after the game, like those Minnesota Vikings Twitter feed. And the team is just like, yeah. They fucking love Sam Darnal. It's like, how did this happen?

This is a Darnal doping, though. He did do this a few years ago. What the past.

You think it was Darnal Rope-a-dope?

It's a little bit of a Darnal doping here. And I'm looking at their odds to make the playoffs. We could jump on no for even. We could do it. We have a few dollars left.

It's even right now? Yeah, I guess- But it just Jefferson's out for a while.

I mean, who's seventh is the problem? Is it the Cardinals?

Well, it depends if we get- If you go Seattle, just admit one of the NFC East, Dallas or Philly is going to be the wild card. We're getting two from the West, so we'd have to get two from the East, one south, and then... Are you Green Bay or Minnesota?

You could still get San Francisco, Seattle, and I like Arizona all the time.

I like Arizona, too. I'm with you. The other one was Bucks, Lions. I stayed away from this game because I thought the line was too high.

Yeah, went to seven-and-a-half.

The Bucs played a really good game there last year, and just something about it scared me. I wish I had that feeling about some of the other games I've been on. But the Lions had one breakdown on seven red zone trips. Goff had two horrible old-school Jared Goff picks. They ran 83 plays, which is an incredible high amount. How many times do you think Goff passed in that game? Do you know this? I don't know. When Goff passes today, what would you guess? At 83 offensive plays?

It's high. Was it 44?

He threw 55 passes today.

Wow. Wow.

55 passes. And watching the game, and we didn't even have the game on for the first half because I just thought... And then when it became interesting, it made a TV. It was just weird. It was like they were airing it out like they were down 20, and it was a one-score game for two hours. But I don't know what that team's doing. They're built to just pound the ball, pound the ball, pound the ball, play action, hit like Laporte as a witness protection. Saint Brown, who was going for $50 in some fantasy league. They really only have two receivers, like Kalief Reemens playing a bunch for them as their third receiver. But I'm not panicking yet, but I didn't like it.

He's a little hurt, but James and Williams is good. But yeah, we're missing the... Oh, wow. Look at Mount Saint Brown open over the middle for 35 yards, for 30 yards, right? It seems like we don't ever get there with Koff anymore, even with the last game. It's tough. They had to do that crazy fake punt. If that hadn't worked, this might have been a blowout. All the NFC South teams just screw us all the time.

It's early. There's basically no preseason, and these teams have to run in shape. I just don't know why they're not pounding the ball. One thing I'll say with Tampa, and we knew somebody stupid was going to come out of that NFC South, and I want your New Orleans scouting report in one second. But the fact that Godwin looks like he's Chris Godwin from four years ago this season, they just seem a little more dangerous when they need a first down. They need to go 70 yards. I feel like they have more options this year than they had last year. Baker is playing really well. I wouldn't say he's a top 12 quarterback, but he's probably above average now.

Maybe. I mean, a lot of these teams, that's all you need. 200 yards, one shutdown, one interception, and the defense could do the rest. But yeah, you're right with Godwin. I feel the same way I do about the Saints. I don't know if you want to get to them now, but they're playing with confidence. Baker is playing with confidence. Karr is playing with confidence. They talk about this Kubiak. Oh, he's with Kubiak. Really? He's been in the league for 100 years, Karr. He really just didn't know. It was just the right coordinator to get him going. They looked super fast, the Saints. They looked sideline to sideline really fast. I was singing songs about the Cowboys linebackers all week. And then just like, they talk about a or retread. They have a 2018 version of Alvin Kamara just sprinting to the sideline and getting around the corner.

What happened with that? How did they rejuvenate Kamara?

I don't know, man. My team goes back and forth. We just go back and forth between being super prepared for a game like we were for the Browns, and then just, did we practice at all this week? Either that or the Saints are great, which I didn't want to believe just yet.

So confession, I did not watch really any of this game because there were 10 early games, and I knew for the podcast, I knew you were going to watch the whole game. I just decided to give you the car keys for the Saints Club. Wait a minute.

You put this on your... You put, First of all, I have a bone to pick. You said this is a barely watchable, but then you put it in your four screen for YouTube. I know.

I underrated the Saints, and I changed my mind. Now, there were too many games, and I wanted to see how Green Bay did with Malik Willis. I wanted to watch the Jets-Titans game. The Pat Seahawks was a permanent one. Lyons, then the Ravens-raiders guy. I just knew you were going to watch it for us. But then the Saints had 28. How many points did they have at halftime? They had 35. So they made it so they didn't need to watch. They had 35.16..

And Carr had 11 completions. So I'm going nuts about his relationship with the coordinator and everything. But they ran for 190. That was the difference. It was just one of those games I got a hand. We Because the last home game this happened was the playoff game against the Packers, where I sat in your couch and, I don't know, I did awful things. Really, really bad. But yeah. So I guess this is our thing, Mike McCarthy. We just get trounced at home.

This is fun. People are in a ready to come into your house anymore.

No.

There is some Clint Kubiak as the new hot offense coordinator buzz. Great. But unleashing whatever was there with the Saints. If it's cool with everybody, I'm not going to trust it. Because they killed the Panthers in week one, and then they just took you guys by surprise in week two. But I need a little more evidence. We've been down this road a bunch of times with Derek Carr. I find it hard to believe in his early 30s, all of a sudden, he became this gunslinging leader of a team that's going to score 500 points for the season.

I mean, talk about they're minus 200 to make the playoffs right now.

What?

Plus 160 the other way. We're going to have to bite on one of these because we're already miserable about it. Wait a second. I love that Fando has these up these late.

I know. Kudos to Fando. So New Orleans, let's see, they have home for Philly, at Atlanta, at KC next three. They could be two and three in three weeks. Don't you think?

Yeah. I was going to look at it the other way. They definitely have Carolina again. They'll split with Tampa.

Panics in week 4 after Kirk officially loses his job after tomorrow night's camp. Did you watch Jets Titans? Because I happen to watch a bunch of that one. Yeah, most of it. He talked about the Titan side, but the Jets side was interesting Because they were alternately not impressive at all. But Rodgers made five old-school Roger throw. He still can work that sideline and throw these beautiful touch passes. Wilson is not nearly as involved as I thought he was going to be. Brees Hall isn't this amazing... It's not like six yards of carry every time he hit the ball, but they snuck that one out. That was a really dangerous game. There was a moment there during the one o'clock games when it looked Pats were going to beat Seattle, and it looked like the Jets might go 0-2. We're heading toward this Thursday game with the 2-0 Pats. I don't know where we're going to see 0-2.

I love that. That would have been great. I still think you have a shot, and we'll get to that. But yeah, Braille and Allen running the ball.

No one took him care of him.

20-year-old Breannehari from Brees Hall. Yeah, he's spreading it out, Rodgers. I think you're right. I hate to give him credit. He looked good, and he looked like a capable Jets' quarterback, so 24 17.

With that said, his body language in a couple of moments in the first half looked like he was ready to check out. There was a terrible third in one play where the guy got stuffed and Rodgers was just doing the frozen. Really? Really, really, guys. It was like, you know. And then there was a couple of shots of him sitting on the bench. It's like, What's going on? Is he happy? Is he talking to anybody?

People get on Vrabel, but I don't know that they would have been two and all the Titans with Vrabel, but I don't think they lose both those games. I don't think so.

There's no way they're stupid team. Pat Seahawks was the other one. Very winnable game for the Pats. Brissette just seems like if he was a starting pitcher, he's got five innings in him. And then it's like, Oh, the top of the lineup is coming up. And you're like, Can we start warming up, dudes? Because this guy is not getting through the lineup again. It was a super winnable game. The secondary was bad. And that was basically the reason they lost was they had a huge breakdown on that Metcalf touch down. Metcalf. A couple of PI's. With all that said, I really felt like... Kyle, did we decide they should have gone for that fourth of one in overtime? We were like, whatever they did, I was going to disagree with.

Yeah, they should have gone.

Kia was just, let's pound them, let's go. But once they punted, it just felt like they were going to lose.

Yeah, I think that's a surrender decks, right? That's surrendering the overtime. We're going to tie. Why is a team like the Patriots out to tie? Are they going to go 6-9 and one, 6-10 and one? That's going to make the difference. Just go for it there.

Yeah, get that. Listen, I didn't say this in the moment. In hindsight, it's 2020.

Sorry, no one was there.

With some time to marinate on it, the move was to go for it because if you get it, then it's like, Oh, man, then we fucking went for it and we got the fourth of one and we came down and it was like, It's a new Patriots team. Instead, they punted and the Seahawg scored, and now we have no momentum.

I think they should ask the defense like, Hey, how tired are you guys? I don't know. We've been out here for four hours. This sucks. We're getting pounded. Why don't you please just go for the... Just get the one yard. Just go for it.

Please score. Two things. Gino, once again, was sneaky, really good, and came through. He has a bunch of these come from behind touch in the fourth quarter, but I thought he was really good. I did say to Kyle, they're in that game, and this wasn't in the moment thing. It's like the Patriots are competent enough that I think they should start thinking about Drake May because Brissette's pretty limited. They've scored 20 points today. They scored 16 points the other day. He basically can't throw the ball downfield at all. I think if May had played in that game with the fact that the O-line can block better than I thought before the season, he might have been able to swing that. I wouldn't play him this week on Thursday against the Jets. When's he coming in?

I was just going to say, when do you put him in? When do we see him? The over-under is home against the Dolphins, October sixth.

Now, when we first sketch this out, it was at the Jets that Thursday, so no. But then they would have 10 days to prepare for at San Francisco week 4.

No, don't put him. You don't want to do that. You don't want to do that. With the Niners, Home for the Dolphins.

Home for the Dolphins, Week 5, seems like it would be the move. Yeah, that's fair. I think if they're somehow two and two, who knows? But I thought they're going to be awful. It's a really likable team It's fun. They're fun to watch. The crowd likes them. The energy, they're all playing hard.

Good.

I like this. I don't know. It's certainly better than like, Ruting for Carolina.

I think your playbook is a little limited, too, though. So I don't know if It's because of our quarterback. Is that why? All right.

Berset's a great guy. It's just he can't do certain things. He's not mobile. All right, we're going to take another break for the podcast, and then I have one more game to play with you, and then we'll keep going. All right, quick game. I didn't tell you we were doing this. Definitely or maybe. Or definitely hyping maybe. I like that more. Definitely maybe. Tell me definitely or maybe for either of these. The Chief's 3P- Are you going to show me pictures of girls you dated? No, this isn't like face smash. I see. Definitely maybe the Chief's 3P might actually be in trouble.

Just maybe. You can't say definitely, right? Yeah.

There's a team to be, Bill. I think that's a maybe. All right, now it's going to get harder. Kyler Murray is back. Definitely or maybe?

I'm leaning definitely. I don't think that- I'm giving him a definitely.

Yeah.

I saw a lot of good things, and maybe they just had their number and they were going to crush him no matter what. But if you ever liked Kyla Murray, he looked every bit as good as that Kyla Murray you liked.

He, Harrison, McBride. Dworch didn't have a good game today, but he was good in week one. Connor can run the ball. There's a certain style and feel and pace that seems it makes sense for him. It seems like his post-knee surgery just seems a little more inclusive. He was a little withdrawn, I think, in the earlier Kyler years, but did not seem like that today or last week. And they almost beat Buffalo last week, too.

All the memes added up. He was like, F these people. He'll show a baby carrying a loaf of bread and saying, There's Kyler in preseason. Like, yeah, I think he's finally figured it out.

It's an adventure story.

Good team. Yeah.

Definitely maybe New Orleans has an elite offense.

Oh, I have to just say maybe. Okay. I can't say definitely. They were scary today, though. But I'm hoping it was just something that just got out of hand, and we'll never look back.

Definitely maybe. Justin Tucker isn't a top four kicker anymore.

I'm going to say definitely. As far as if I bet on him in the confidence, I don't know. Maybe you could show me a stat that says that he is. But who would you rather have?

Let's go over the four. So I made a list. Aubrey might be the greatest kicker of all time.

Thank you.

Dicker on the chargers. Boswells lights out now. The guy we just saw. And Fairborn on the Texans. Those four are just clearly better than him at this point. Then I'd probably put Harrison Bucker over him, too. I don't know if he's top five anymore. I mean, he's older. He's the greatest kicker of all time.

Yeah, always best opera singer.

I would rather have those five guys for this season. Do you have a theory why field goals are so easy now?

I don't. I don't know.

Do we need to change the rules to make them harder? Remember in the old days, you could jump over the center as they snapped it and jump on your guys back? Maybe we need to bring some of that stuff back. What's fun about watching these dudes make 54 yarders right down the... Oh, hit the camera. Wow.

It's like, I That camera is on the other side, so don't blame our cameras for that going in. Don't you dare do that. Caleb Williams is the best.

He didn't even move his legs. Just throwing it all arm.

How do the Texans win when this guy put up 40, 40 touch down, 40 point? No, 40 yards. He has 40 yards. A 40 yard. Okay.

This guy is so much better than he was last week. Thirteen points.

He's dying to not play anymore. Please get me off this field. Get me off this field. Every play.

Oh, my God.

Maybe they put the old goalpost in just to freak the kickers out, the ones that looked like Hs. Maybe that's a change. Switch that up.

Maybe we move the goalpost slightly closer together.

Moving them in like arena football? Yeah.

Definitely maybe Sam Darnold is about to be redeemed. No. You're like out. You're neither definitely nor maybe. I might say definitely not. I'm going to go maybe. All right, definitely not. That's a good third one for this. Definitely maybe. Now that we've seen it in action in games, Joe Burrow's hair looks cool.

Definitely. I like it, too.

Yeah, it looks good. It's really nice.

I'd kill for it. Definitely, Joe. He's just very cool. I'm in.

Joe Burrow took a lot of shit, but it It fucking looks cool. I got to hand it to him. Yeah. He looks like he's the villain in a Netflix series set in South Carolina. It's like terrorizing teenagers.

Is he the villain? Is he Hollywood Hulk? If he goes on five?

Or maybe he's the star.

Does he turn that black? Yeah.

Definitely maybe or definitely not. Pittsburgh is going to go 10 and seven or 11 and six somehow.

Well, all right. I meant to look at the quarterbacks they face because there's going to be some games where they're going to They have to score 20 points, right? Aren't they going to have to at some point?

Well, but don't you feel like they told fields, Look, we're going to win these first two games. Don't throw the ball over the middle. Don't do anything stupid. Don't try to run for two extra yards. We don't want you to fumbly. We don't want you to throw the ball the other team. We just need 13 points. Week three, we're going to unleash you. Just trust us. Sure. It feels like that's the point. I think that's right.

All right, but I'm looking at the quarterback. So these are the Good-ish quarterbacks I'll face. Herbert, Dack, Rodgers, Lamar, Burro. I mean, this could be losses, right? Hertz, Again, Lamar, again, Burrow, and Mahomes. Ten and seven. They could do ten. The rest are bad.

They started out the season with two road games and went two and no. It's pretty good. Yeah. I feel good about that pick that I was ready to let you give me a mulligan on after we did the over-under pod. I was like, If I could switch one thing, I would switch Buffalo and Pittsburgh. But we said no.

And they had one.

Definitely maybe.

Two of us should retire.

I thought about this. There's no way to govern this, obviously. I tape something at the top on Thursday where it's like, I don't know what the number is for these dudes to retire. Then I watched box. I flew home from Boston on Saturday night, and I watched boxing and UFC on Jet Blue. I'm just thinking, these guys are just all getting the crap kicked out of them, and then they get up and they go to the next fight. Who are we to tell Tua?

I'm a complete hypocrite for that very reason. I see two of them with the fencing arm, and I'm like, Oh, no, let's not do that anymore. But then I'm like, this guy gets knocked out. I'm like, Oh, man, he should fight Jon Jones next. It doesn't matter. He can't get out of the octagon. He can't to figure out where the door is.

If I was to as like, room in in college, I'd be like, Yo, dude, what are you doing? How much money can you make if you just retire now? But...

Well, there's just some guys, you know it's going to be problematic. When you said it, it was a miracle that they kept him upright last year.

Yeah, they had him in bubble wrap last year. Yeah. And even that play, he forgot the script that he wasn't supposed to do that.

But he ran into Hamlin's bicep, basically. It wasn't helmet to helmet. It wasn't anything, and it left him...

Would you think that was a playoff team either way?

The Dolphins were?

No. After watching those first two weeks, I didn't think they were one of the seven best they I see teams anyway, so I don't know if it's going to make a difference.

Yeah, maybe not. What is that number now?

Do we look at that? They probably don't even have that on FanDuel, right?

They do. What is it? You're going to love this. Yeah, I guess it's plus one-eight. What is this? Yes, I should have had you guess. You want to guess? Did you hear it?

I would have said minus 300, no.

Wow. Jump on there. No is minus 144.

So they I just think he's coming back in two weeks. Yeah, but so what? That's another team. Then he goes away. It's like two more injuries, and that whole team falls apart. Yeah. A couple of other random things before we get to guess lines. Rodgers, once again, I don't even think he threw for 200 yards today. So his 300-yard streak continues. It's been since week 13, December 19, 2021. Nfc South, four wins. I'm worried about our bet. I'm not worried about my Aiden Hutchinson, sack title bet.

Really good. What do you have?

11:01. That might pay for all my futures. We did our futures draft for the year. It was 11:01. He's got to be leading by three sacs.

He was excellent. And he kept that team in the game. This is the problem.

Yeah. I think Pickens is on pace to have an entire alternate universe fantasy season of plays that didn't count or pass interference yards. Where it's like he's basically like Megatron in 2000 Ryan, he 1,200 yards and 10 touch downs just called back or they didn't exist or they happened over here. Somehow, he's always in those.

Do you think he goes to the locker room and gels at the guys, the offensive linemen who held? He's like, You're making me look stupid. It out there. I'm dancing. Everyone's like, Well, you don't have to dance. Yes, I do have to dance. What do you mean?

They should almost put a transmitter in his helmet, just like beat it so he doesn't start his dancing stuff.

Yeah. Or a big yellow flag on the field could be an alert, too.

Here's my next question. Have we pivoted back to quarterbacks not mattering in fantasy football? Remember that was always the thing in the '90s, 2000s, most of the 2010s. And then all of a sudden, when the touch downs in the yards really went up, then it was like, Well, I'm not going to win unless I get one of these top guys or unless I spend money and I possibly have three guys that I can mix and match. And now it's like, I don't know. Who are you excited about? Are you fired up to have C. J. Stroud?

Yeah.

Are you fired up to have Josh Allen? He threw for 120 yards that week. Mahomes. The lead for... And a lot of people are talking about this came a big topic. It felt like over the last couple of days about the passing stats going way down, how there's way more running, what the reasons are. It's pretty interesting about how the defenses are getting just faster and sleeker, and they're doing the two safeties way back. So now it actually just makes more sense to run and make the defense pull people up. So then there's just more running plays. And then Goff throws for 55 times. So I don't even know.

I talked to the Parley kid. You know him well from Against All Odds. He loves Parla parlaying over one and a half breakdown passes, and he'll put four together. I was like, you have to stop with that bet. You have to. 33 breakdown passes last Sunday. That's disgusting. You're not going to get there anymore. Allen didn't get there. Obviously, Tua didn't get there from that first night. How that game didn't go over was another thing. But then, you pointed out, for fantasy-wise, on our kickout league, here's Baker Mayfield, Daniel Jones, whatever, Kirk Cousins, Derek Carr, Gino Smith. They're all available. All available.

Baker Mayfield is still available?

Four of those guys would be as good as anybody that's presented.

Yeah, you look like Josh Allen, Mahomes, Lamar Hertz, Jaden Daniels. I guess Kyler is doing pretty well, but even his stats weren't great last week.

It's Gino Smith, it's Carr. It's all the weird ones that you would never think of in the beginning of of the year.

We're in a weird fantasy reckoning. How are you feeling about your team before we go to Guest Alliance?

I don't know. I'm fine, I guess. Then if they were, well, we're going to go one and two after the Ravens, and then it's going to be problems. Then Jerry's going to have to sell the team. Then there's going to be talk about McCarthy leaving and all that other stuff and Zimmer's sucking.

What was your worst bet today?

Worst bet? Okay, let me see. I'll find this out for the No, don't give me Hunter Biden's bet.

Give me your bet. Did you Hunter and Do a Parley together?

Dallas plus three and a half on a lot of three-teasers, which I know you're not supposed to still do. I had your dumb team, thanks to Raheem, under 17 and a half. That didn't work out. I don't know. That was bad. What was your worst one? You couldn't have done great.

My worst one was on the plane yesterday, just sitting there for 20 minutes waiting for a take off and remembered that, Oh, I only have FanDuel for a little bit longer before we get in here. I should make a couple more bets. I'm doing like... I was trying to be disciplined this whole season. I'm going to do three, four, five bets, that's it. I'm doing like, Oh, Sugar Sean. Let me put him with freaking the Dallas Money Line. I just ripped off three or four of the dumbest bets ever, and I put no thought them at all because I wanted to get it done before we took off.

Yeah. I wanted to do that. Fandle, America's number one sportsbook. Fandle, partnered with Southwest Airlines. Get your bets in right away.

Stay on the runway for 10 more minutes. You can He said three more bets you never would have normally made.

Do you think they're in cajoots with the airlines? Sorry, we're delayed. We have a lot of fish on this jet blue.

Simmons is in row five.

Mechanical issues. Yeah. Bill Simmons.

I bet on Brian Ortega because my son told me he really liked Ortega. I'm like, All right, I'll throw him in with the Cardinals. That didn't work. I had another one. I did Canelo under eight and a half for that fight. He hit the guy. Somehow I was on Jet Blue and I had two iPads. I had UFC on one iPad, and I had the Canelo, that whole thing, the other one. Really? The other Wow. And the WiFi worked pretty much well enough. But the Canelo one, he's just throwing bombs at this guy for round after round. And the guy goes down in the third, he goes down in the seventh, but somehow he just makes it.

You look at what we could have made, betting him to win by decision over the last eight fights, and you'll never stop vomiting. That's six in a row. Yeah, it's disgusting. You could have gotten three to one odds on it.

Yeah, but here's the thing. When these guys add the weight and they go up, these knockout guys who they're fighting 20 pounds heavier than they used to fight, the punching power doesn't seem like it comes with them.

The only one I remember was Ernst.

Ernst was the only one who was able to put on weight and keep the power. I guess Holyfield did, too, when he got to heavyweight.

I know. I gained a lot of weight. I have no power, so I think you're right.

We're rambling, so that means we're going to take a break and get to Guess the Lines.

Yeah, baby.

All right, coming back. Guess the Lines, week three. Did you beat me last week, too?

We tied. We did. We tied. Ten-ten. I'm going to beat you. I'm up 101.

By the way, I should mention, here are the two and O teams. Buffalo, Pittsburgh, Chargers, KC, Houston, Minnesota, New Orleans, Tampa, Seattle. So we got eight plus Philly tomorrow, potentially. Yeah.

Which one do we say we would bet against to make the playoffs, the Saints?

I'd really need to look at that this week because one of these teams would be like, Oh, remember when the Saints started out 2-0 and then they finish 6:00 and 11:00, and Dennis Allen got fired? I'm still not.

I know, but we have to do it now, right? Yeah.

Week three, the Jets are home. They're playing the Patriots of New England. This is, by the way, I think our only night game this year. The Mighty Have Fallen. That's right. Yeah. This is it. Enjoy it. I have the Jets by five and a half.

You should try to pick this exactly because I sure as hell did.

Five and a half?

Six and a half.

You picked it exactly?

I did, yeah. The rest?

That's fair. That's a whiff high.

You think so?

Yeah. The Jets. Last week, they got killed by the Niners, who then just lost to the Vikings. This week, they barely beat the Titans, even though Will Levis, we were joking earlier that it seemed like if a quarterback did have drinks before a game, this is what it would look like. I don't know why they'd suddenly be almost seven points against the Pats who beat the Bengals and then almost beat the Seahawks.

I guess first home game, right? I guess place will be pretty pumped for Aaron Rodgers.

Will it? To make it to the distance. Will it? Have you been to a Jets game? Is it a place that gets really pumped? I would say it goes the other way.

Yeah.

It gets more surly.

That's what I mean by pump. That's how we say in New York, pump. But this is going to be interesting for him. He's going to have his family there. Oh, no, wait. His family doesn't talk to him. No, it's going to be a good game. I think you could upset him.

Kyle was so happy today that I was waiting for the pats, even though I have five futures to get them.

This has come to.

Sunday's marquee game. Sunday's marquee game. It's really probably the Eagles and the Saints if it's two 2-0 teams, but we're not going to do that. We're going to go Cowboys, Ravens because if the Cowboys coming off just getting lambasted by the Saints at home.

Yeah, I wish Baltimore had won.

You have the 0-2 Ravens somehow playing a must-win game in week three. Yeah. Got to think, at least for the division, 0-3, pretty hard to bounce back and win. I put this line low even though it's in Dallas. I have Dallas by one and a half.

You got it exactly. I said two. I thought we'd get the nudge there. Yeah, you don't want to say must win, right?

I think it is.

Three losses would be something.

Because we did this earlier, but the next two games after this are hard for them. They're home for Buffalo and at Sinsi. They basically have to go two and one, right?

Two and one out of those three. Yeah.

The problem for them is, even when they have a lead, I feel like the other team can throw the ball on them and come back, which makes it an unusual Baltimore.

Derrick Henry used to be the greatest clock killer of all time. What happened?

He still looks good. Yeah, I don't know what happened. Watchables. So it's a pretty good week next week. I got to say, I thought I had four watchables and I had three fairly watchables.

They relieved us. And I know I complain about it, and you and I and maybe three others only care. But when they had 10 games early on and six came down to the wire, I was like, screw these guys. Like, I get Scott Hansen had an aneurysm. Just give us eight and five or eight and four. Stop it already. And then you got three games in the afternoon. Two aren't competitive within eight minutes. Enough. Spread it out.

Yeah, there was one stretch in the early games where it felt like in five games at the same time, there were just pivotal two-minute stretches, and they were all overlapping with each other. You're just like, Wait, what?. I don't think this is going to be an esthetically pleasing game, but I can't wait to watch it. Stealers Chargers in Pittsburgh. Two 2-0 teams, two similar teams, trying not to do too much on offense, on defense, trying to win games, not make mistakes. Team that obviously built around their coach, coaches personality. There's nobody believes in us on both sides. Two teams that I back before the year as playoff teams. I'm interested to see what happens in this. I think the Chargers might have a slightly higher upside than the Stealers because of the quarterback, because the Pittsburgh quarterback, we still haven't really seen him have to make a play yet when it actually matters. They've always had the lead. I have a Stealers minus three. All right.

I pussed out on this. I thought about it for a long time, and I'm like, I don't know who's going to be favorite. So I gave it the 9-9 round. You can't respect me as a judge. I made it a pick-em. And you're right. It's a long way of saying you're right. It's a one. Oh, no, we're both right. It's one and a half.

We're both right? Yeah. You did a pick-em? What the fuck is wrong with you? I shouldn't do that, right? We've never had pick-ems. I know. But they just said they never happened. The Cardinals-Rams game today was a pick-em heading into kickoff, which I was like, I don't... That never seems to happen.

I'm trying to beat you. I'm not beating the Vegas. I know I can't do that.

Well, so in the old days, minus three meant it was minus three for the homefield advantage. That has now dropped over the years to now minus one and a half as the homefield advantage. So they're basically saying those teams are exactly even. Next watchable is Texans-Vikings in Houston. Although the Texans were not watched for the day. Hopefully, this game will take four hours. I'm sorry, this is in Minnesota, not in Houston. My bad. I have Houston favored. I had it as a two and a half before the game tonight, and I think I'm just going to keep it there. I have Houston by two and a half in Minnesota.

No, move a lower. I had two and it's three and a half. You get it.

Three and a half?

Maybe the Sam Darnal duping hasn't hit Fandle yet.

Well, if Jefferson doesn't play, Texans are probably a good I think he said he doesn't think he's going to miss time.

I want to throw the NFL bone. They still don't know how to schedule games. But the fact that they came out with the A. J. Brown news before kickoff today means that they're looking out for fantasy owners because that McCaffrey thing was so bad last week, and it came down like an hour before the game when nobody can make moves. But they didn't have to say if A. J. Brown was playing Monday night, Sunday at 12:40, and they did. Good job by you.

Do you think the NFL should run commercials congratulating themselves? The NFL, we finally care about our fans.

It's the players we don't care about.

The NFL, caring about our fans since one week ago. Yeah, that is a good point. They definitely did that for fantasy because if you started A. J. Brown, it's just an out and out catastrophe. Next one, Eagles at the Saints. There you go. This is arguably the best game of the week if the Saints are good. I have the Eagles favorite in this game, so I'm going to say Eagles by two and a half.

I think you're going to beat me this week. You got it exactly. I thought it would be one. I guess I did like the Saints more than that.

Week three is... I usually have good week threes.

You're up 4-2.

Everyone in New Orleans hated car. I wonder if they flipped on that now because the Saints are fun. Coming back, the two big wins. I wonder if they'll have an awesome crowd for this game. Awesome old-school Saints crowd. This feels like a gambling stay away.

They were home against the Carolina, right? Yeah, this is their second home game. This could be a good one.

Last one, Lions Cardinals. This is also in Arizona. This is a game that could have been like Lions minus six in the look ahead line, but now heading into week three. I don't see how it's higher than three and a half. So I'm going to say lines three and a half.

Get this one, too. I said two. That's how much I like Arizona. It's three. Yeah. They're going to make you bet it off the three.

I think people are still going to look at Arizona. They didn't see the games and say they're one and one, and the only reason they beat the Rams is because all the guys in the Rams got hurt. But Arizona has a good offense, and I regret not taking them million dollar pick this week.

Can your guy Hutch contain? Little Kylamari, can he get him?

Yeah, I wanted to know, can he clinch the sack? Let's clinch the sac record in September. Fairly watchables. Colts, bears, Not quite bad enough to be a poopfective game, but I definitely don't want to watch this. It's in Indianapolis. Colts by two and a half?

Oh, come on. I don't lie. I hope people are seeing this on YouTube, how you're sauntering into the screen. Yeah, it's two and a half. What are you looking at?

I thought about changing my mind to three, but I kept it where it was.

I said two. Two and a half it is.

I don't think I would put money on the Colts again anytime soon.

No. So you're calling this a stay away, right? Because you can't go bears.

I really like Steiken. I thought he did some weird shit today. First of all, he's in charge of the other coaches, right? So you could take Gus Bradley and be like, Yo, what if we just move all our guys up and make Malik Willis try to throw deep? But I thought there was some game management stuff that I just didn't I agree with. Seahawks in Seattle playing the Dolphins, which I assume no two for that game, correct? I thought that's going to reflect the line.

I don't think so. Yeah. He's not going to clear him right now, one week later, All right.

I'm going to say Seahawks by five.

All right. You edged me out again. I said four and a half. It's six and a half. Pretty high. I just can't guess more. I see, Oh, this should be five in the old days, but nobody wins by five anymore, so they'll make it four, right?

Well, five becomes the appetizer, and then it eventually lands at six or four or four and a half.

Do we have to change the Vegas zone?

To what?

Like three and a half to four and a half or something?

No, it's four and a half, five, five and a half because those are spreads that never happen.

Right. I'm just thinking the way they... Now, We don't see a lot of 9, 11-point line. Everything seems to be smaller now.

One Seahawks, that guy Murphy is really good for them. Yeah, Myron Murphy. That rookie nose tackle, he was wreaking havoc in the game today. That was a really nice pick. 49ers at the Rams is the last one. It's a borderline poop fact that if Kup doesn't play, because I don't know who's going to be catching balls for the Rams, but I have the 49ers by three and a half.

Get me again. I had three. It's seven. Let me check this.

So they're saying Cup's not playing then?

They're saying nobody's playing.

Yeah, it's seven. Shit, at that point, don't play Stafford.

Right.

Right? Just give them the week off. Just punt on the game. Man, that's going to be a grim Ram's game. You're going to have $40,000 fans there. All the Rams who have tickets aren't going to want to go.

Yikes. You love it. You You love that tease or game. You love it.

I do. I'm probably going to tease that one. It was one of those purdy games that make you go, huh? This is what the 30 critics have been talking about. Okay. Poopfecta, Bucks, Home for the Broncos. Wow, the Bucks could be three now.

Yeah.

I have the Bucks by six and a half.

Well, what do you know? You got it exactly right again. I said seven.

I'm on fire. I'm glad we're catching this on YouTube. We should do a headline like, Guy Catches Fire Picking Games, something like that.

Yeah, you're on fire. I'm trying to think of a world-renowned cheater who would be on fire, but it can't just escape me right now.

This is always what happens. You always accuse me in week three of cheating.

Bill Belichick's on fire. Put those cameras away.

Packers at the Titans, the Malik Willis revenge game. Malik Willis back to make the Titans pay. It's like Kill Bill 3. I don't see how the Titans can ever be favored against anyone. I'm going to just say packers by one.

Oh, I'm going to get one? I'm going to get one. I said Tennessee by one. Tennessee is favored by two and a half. So go ahead and put Malik on a teaser getting eight and a half. Go get it.

It would be funny if they asked the coach of the Titans during the week, what's the guy's name? Brian Callahan? Yeah. From Kaly in Auto Parts. Does it help you, having had Malik here for the last couple of years to prepare for this game? And normally the coach is like, Well, he's a competitor. But if he was just like, Yeah, he's terrible. We watch it day after day after day. I think, I can't make a throw. I can't wait to stack the line. We're just going to destroy him.

What the fuck are you doing? I have to be close by now between Levis and Malik. Coach, can we see your what the fuck are you doing rating system? Well, I have 11 for Will this year and seven for Malik, even though he never played.

Coach, who made you put your face in your hands more often in the last two years? Brown's home for the Giants. Browns could be two and one. I mean, that was one of your things with them, right? You like their schedule.

Yeah. I didn't mind them, especially here.

I'm going to say Browns by six and a half.

You're such a dirtbag, man. You got it exactly. I don't even know why I care anymore. It's out of reach. Six and a half is the number. I said five.

Sometimes true greatness can happen, even on a YouTube livestream.

Is this going to be... Well, I don't even think it would be an overreaction, but whichever quarterback comes up short here, that could be it.

I thought you were going to say whoever goes up three nothing, the game is over.

Well, that too. Yeah.

But if Dimes- If the Giants can just go up three nothing, it's done.

If they're 0-3 with Dimes, and Cleveland can make them look bad, but if they're 0-3, and if Watson doesn't show up here, there's going to be a suspicious investigation obligation by midweek.

Cleveland's pass rush was very good today, but that's not why Jacksonville suck. They suck because they suck. Raiders home for the Panthers. So I thought about this. I don't know how the Panthers are getting less than seven points against anyone in the league that's not the Giants at this point. Because I was trying to think, if they play Washington, I just don't see, especially on the road. So I have Raiders by seven.

You're going to set a record for how many you got exactly.

That's exactly right. Did I hit that one?

Yeah. Let me count how many you got because you won the week. But one, two.

I'm doing like the Michael Jordan shrug it. Three, three, three, three, Five. Marv Albert. I'm doing it.

Hey. Five exact pics. Six exact. Six exact pics.

It's crazy when you- I didn't ask for these powers.

What could happen when you're staring right at the Fandle homepage? It's amazing. The results.

Sunday night, Chiefs, Falcons. Somehow we get the Falcons again.

Yeah.

I guess Chiefs by three and a half. My guess is if the Falcons suck tomorrow. This game's in Atlanta, by the way. If the Falcons suck tomorrow, this goes up. But three and a half seemed fair. Would you have?

This is Vegas, so I had it at four. It's four and a half. But yeah, I mean, really, we have to see if Kirk Cousins can move. I mean, Joe House made a compelling case about breaking down his various different types of passes with Kirk Cousins last week.

Well, they had all these stats about how he used to run play action and just all the different ways that they basically made sure he didn't move.

Yeah, play action was a big one. Not great.

Well, Monday night is a don't get divorce night. For some reason, there's two games. I don't know why they decided to do this. I think I like it for the most part. Bills Jaguars is the first game. That's in Buffalo. I'm going to not allow myself to bet on this game, but I have the Bills by four and a half.

I had it, too, and it's five and a half. I have four and a half also. Isn't the second one, the later one, supposed to be the better one? Or no? There's ones at 7:30, ones at 8:15 kickoff. Jacksonville, Buffalo's 7:30. Washington, Cincinnati, 6:15.

I would argue before the year, they probably thought both of these games were good because the other one, Cincinnati, Washington with Jaden Daniels against Spurrow, LSU against LSU.

If you had just toughed it out at ESPN, you would be calling one of these games, whichever the lesser. If you just had toughed it out for nine more years. Ten more years. Yeah. What's wrong with you?

I would have loved that. I would have loved the NBA.

So short-sighted.

Bangle's minus five and a half was my last one.

That's what I got, too.

It's Washington.

Seven and a half. They have to win that game. They have to win it.

That feels like the Houston game today that it's just going to be in everybody's I got to make my money back tease. That's why I stayed away from Houston tonight because I was like, this is This seems too fishy. You almost got it. As it turned out, they almost didn't get it anyway. All right, so I won week three.

Oh, yeah, you crushed me. Yeah, Cincinnati. I have Washington as my best bet, probably as lucky as I can get on that because Giants Kicker doesn't go out. They win by default, right? Yeah. But I'm going to take back all my Jaden Daniels praise for now. Maybe it could be good, but he looks like Michael Jackson, the Billy Jean. I didn't realize how thin he is. Just running around back then.

Really skinny. Yeah. Like crazy, crazy, stupid skinny. After watching him take some of these hits, he's somebody that doesn't seem like he's built 17-game season playing the way he's playing. That one hit he took, it looked like he was going to be done for four months.

Yeah. We're forced to watch football differently now, but you have to care about these guys. You just do.

Well, meanwhile, Josh Allen is like LeBron. I don't even know what scenario he would even get hurt. We always said the joke about LeBron, his leg would come off and he would just pick it up and go get it and put it back on. I don't see a lot of Josh Allen like, Oh, man, what a hit. He's always dolling out the hit.

Yeah, there you go, Bills fans. Simmons, jinks you. Josh Allen comes up next week. I like the Bills fans.

Monday night. Bills fans are cool. They did a good thing with two of this week. Let's do Parent Corner. Today's Pair and Corner is brought to you by Workday. Get the whole band together with Workday and pair finance and HR in one platform for an epic performance. With Workday AI at the core, you'll make confident decisions faster than ever, and you'll drive flawless business and finance operations with an agile platform that consistently and constantly evolves to future proof your organization. Be a finance and HR Rockstar with Workday. Visit workday. Com. To learn more. What do you got?

Let's do it. All right. Okay, so my kids on this travel baseball team, which is brutal, travel baseball, because you do travel. You go an hour and 15 minutes, and they make sure you're never closer than that. And like I said, when you drive out, you pass a thousand diamonds, but it doesn't matter. You're playing on the one that's an hour and 15 or an hour and 45. So when you get these tournaments, they're all Saturday and Sunday. And you get the schedule on Thursday, and you just don't want to stuck with the 08:00 AM. You don't want the 06:00 PM game either, but you don't want... And you're waiting for the results like it's from your cardiologist or something. And of course, we get the 08:00 AM 08:00 AM game in Irvine, which means practice is at 07:00, which means we have to leave the house before 06:00, which means we have to wake up closer to 05:00 AM on Saturday to get to kids travel baseball.

There's nothing worse. I'm getting PTSD just listening to this.

Just backtrack. Okay, hour here, hour. Okay, good. All right, five o'clock. It's dark for most of the ride. Great. So we do it. The two older boys want no part of it. So it's me, my wife, and Harrison, a 10-year-old.

Oh, you double-parented it?

Yeah. I have to do the Saturday because I'm not around for the Sunday. I'm an absent parent for Sunday because they always place them.

I'm surprised she didn't say, You take them on Saturday and I'll take them Sunday. Well, I guess, yes, you're right.

I have to give her credit. I guess I should give her credit more.

It's good parenting by her.

We get there. We spend all day. We win both. We're in the semifinal, so we have to come back Sunday. So now we're driving back. It's about two o'clock, and we haven't had lunch. And where do we want to go? And so she's looking at places. I'm like, Oh, there's an umami burger. And We had just made a list of the restaurants we hate that closed by us, an Umami burger. And I don't get anything for this, I promise. I love Umami Burger and it's gone. I'm like, That's great. And then she says to Harrison, Oh, there's also a Denny's. The freaking Denny's a mile away also away. So he's like, Oh, let's go to Denny's. Yeah, let's go to Denny's. I'm like, Fuck, I don't want to go to Denny's. I don't want to go. So I'm driving and my wife's like, Well, do you want to put Denny's into Waze? I'm like, No, I'm not putting... I put Umami Burger into Waze. I want to eat that. She's like, Oh, all right. These kids, they get to make the call for where you eat all the time. I'm like, We woke up at 5:15.

I want to pick lunch. Like a big fat baby. I'm like, I want my lunch. You can get your lunch. So we go to Umami Burger And he has a burger and he loves it. I was like, will you say this is the best burger you ever had? It makes for a good story on Parent Corner. He's like, no, I won't say that. It's not true. So anyway, it wasn't the best burger we ever had, but it's good. But my point is parents have to take back our eating decisions. We let our kids bulldoze us for the basic reason that we have fewer meals remaining. We have to pick it. And by the way, you look at me, I'm definitely getting whatever meal I want overall, so you can't feel too bad. But do you agree with me? We let the kids decide too much, even though it's chicken burgers and pizza all the time, and we just rotate. Parents need to pick the meals.

I think you make some great points. Thank you. Parents need to take back the head coaching. For meals? No, I think for a lot of different things. It's a lot like you're asking an eight-year-old, What do you want to do today? And it's like, Maybe you should make the schedule. You're the adult. Tell them what I would do. I always feel this way. You go to some sports bar and they have like 130 things on the menu and like 40 beers on taps. And it's like, why can't you just have some good stuff and You make the decision for me. What are your three best things? I don't want all this power. We do the same thing with eight-year-olds and 10-year-olds. Of course, the 10-year-old is going to say, Let's go to Denny's.

Yeah. The 10-year-old should have no say anyway. Let's go to Derry Clean. Especially when you're leaving at 5:00 in the morning to get your 10-year-old wherever they need to.

I had so many different possible parent corners, but I think all of them would get me in trouble. Really?

They're nothing about a mommy burger.

All right, here's one. I do like a mommy burger. I thought that was a good call. I mean, the most exciting thing was Fogut or Chou reaching out to us after we mentioned them. Oh, they did, right? Yeah. What does that mean? We don't want anything for Fogut or Chou either. We just want all to be the liability. If Brad dies of Fogut or Chou, we don't want to be responsible. When your kids As they're growing up, they're on your apps. They're on your Uber, potentially. They're on your Postmates, they're on Caviar, whatever it is they're tied to there because they're not old enough to have their own thing. My My daughter's in college, and she's still on my Starbucks and my Postmates and my Caviar. The Starbucks, she's probably there twice a day. For some reason, didn't get her on Starbucks. I'll just see these things in my Starbucks. All of a sudden, I have $8 left on my Starbucks. I'm like, What the fuck? She's just charging stuff constantly. But when I was with her a couple of weeks ago, we We got Starbucks. She's like, I'll order it. Then they get the drink.

She's like, I've got two drinks for Bill. She's like, Yeah, that's me. I'm like, So you're ordering the drinks and then you're saying you're Bill, but it's you and you're not She's like, Yeah, they all know me as Bill here. I'm like, This is insane. I made her get her on Starbucks. But then she also had, I think, caviar.

What the hell is caviar? What is that?

Caviar is a Postmates There's a couple of different ones. But she... Isn't it one of the DoorDash or Caviar? Whatever. It's called Caviar. But anyway, she's in college, so I'll get these things. I'll get these emails like, your pizza, Formado's Pizza is five minutes away. It's like two in the morning East Coast. I'm like, oh, my God, her boyfriend must have wanted pizza. So I finally was like, that's it. You got to get your own stuff. Just tie it to your... I'm out. I don't want to know what you're ordering from Caviar. You're not on my Starbucks anymore. You don't get to be Bill. It's time. You turn 19. It's time for you to have your own name on the apps.

Please let me be Bill.

She's like, I'm going to be Bill for Five more minutes. Anyway, she got her on Starbucks, and now she's forging her own identity with her own names on the apps.

What does your wife think of that? Because it is a good way to track them, though. I get that part of Yeah, it is.

I did think of that part, but it's way more annoying to see that somebody ordered pizza or whatever at 2:00 in the morning. I don't know that.

Yeah, I guess so. All right. They were both food-related. Both are parent corners.

I want to go Dark Web, Parent Corner for some of the stuff with both of my kids at this point, but pretty much all of it would get me in trouble, so I can't. You're at the best parent corner age. That 10 to 11 is the best.

I have the 10-year-old that doesn't listen. Yeah, so it's fine. He doesn't listen to me and he doesn't listen to the podcast.

It's funny that your wife is still putting in this time with him now that she knows from your oldest son, when he turns 17, he's going to have no time for her ever again.

You know what? I hadn't thought of that. You should mention that, Terry. That's a good thing.

I am going to mention it. You're putting in all this time with Harrison. Archie was home for three months and he said 10 words to you. That's it.

We didn't see him. Well, that might be why she's trying to do it, making up for lost time. But I'm not doing it every Rudy Toody, Fresh and Fruity. What is the Denny's thing? Or is that the Grand Slam? Rudy Toody, Fresh and Fruity is IHop? You don't know. You're on caviar.

Why? Why did Caviar become controversial?

I don't know.

I'm just trying to make a Denny's- If he had said IHOP instead of Denny's, would you have been more excited?

I think I would have a little bit. He said, I don't like IHOP. Yeah, IHOP is good. We got to take back our orders. You literally took back your order with the bill and the Starbucks.

Well, if you'd done a Waffle House type of place, that would have been the win.

Yeah, not a lot of those in Irvine.

Denny's needs to rehab. All right, that's it for Parent Corner. Thanks again to Workday for sponsoring this segment. Be a finance and HR Rockstar with Workday. To learn more, visit workday. Com. Anything else before we go? No, that's it. You want to talk about James Babydoll Dixon robbing our cousin.

Oh, yeah. I'm wearing the Jimmy Kim Alive hat. They lost again.

They finally got- But why did they lose? What was the reason this time? There's a specific reason.

Let's give us a background. So John Oliver won, what, 63 years in a row? And then he wasn't eligible for the award, right?

Got a little tighter. They changed it so that he was like... They moved him to the category he should have been in, which was like, We're sat in a live in all these weekly shows, opening the door for our cousin to finally win an Emmy. Right.

In comes Jon Stewart, who our cousin joked about during his presentation today. John Stuart wins John Stewart. We love Jon Stewart, but one day a week is not four or five days a week, and Jon Stewart wins. Now, Jon Stewart is gone.

The Daily Show wins, which he's the ERP of.

Exactly.

But how did this Jon Stewart thing happen? Jon Stewart was happy milking goats or whatever he was doing in upstate New York on his farm. He's on a farm. He's just making healthy cheese.

Yeah, he was churning butter, whatever he was doing.

More than enough money. Didn't need any more money.

Yeah, everything. In comes Baby Doll, and what does he say? No, I can get you back on TV. Comedy Central.

Baby doll is like, They're going to give us the Daily Show, baby. We're going to run this whole thing. You only have to be on Monday nights. We're going to make so much money, baby. It's going to be amazing. The election cycle. John Stewart, he's wearing an apron. He's milking cows. He's milking goats. He's got no WiFi. He's got no internet. You have to go visit him, just have a conversation. No caviar?

You ask that guy, order caviar? No caviar.

He has no apps. He's throwing away all his suits. He doesn't have any suits anymore. Babydoll shows up, and within two months, he's back on TV, and guess who wins the Emmy? Babydoll and Jon Stewart. Babydoll is executive producer, too.

Right. Greedy, greedy MF-er. Pretends to be our friend on these tech chains and everything. How many houses are enough?

How many country clubs are enough?

The answer, 14, is not the answer. Still not. He's got more than that.

Anyway, our cousin didn't win the EME because Baby Do. Next year.

Wait till next year.

Baby Do, he had three of the four people in the category. Because Colbert, Seth Meyers was the only one he doesn't have, and he's probably going to sign him tomorrow. I'll get Seth.

Seth was the one who got away, baby. Don't worry, I'm not done with him.

Seth knows we're going to work together at some point. All right, Sal, what do you got to plug?

That's it. Threw the Ringer with Tate, I have against the Lods with the fellows, the D3, Cousin Sal's winning Weekend, and The Ringer pregame show. It's a lot of fun. Hit my best bet, hit my underdog play of the day, and not a dime the show for it.

The Ringer pregame show is fantastic. And the good thing, if you go on YouTube TV and you subscribe to it, then it just shows up in your library. It tapes it automatically. It's really great. It pops up. Youtube TV is really good. Anyway, Sal, as always, good job on you.

Good job on you, buddy.

All right, that's it for the Thanks to Cousin Sal. Thanks to Steve Sareet and Kyle Creighton for producing. As always, don't forget, you can find clips and full episodes of this podcast on the Bill Simmons YouTube channel. New rewatchables coming Monday. Stay tuned for that. I will see you in this feed on Tuesday. Must be 21 plus in President Select States for Kansas, an affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus in President DC. Gambling problem? Call 100 Gambler or visit rg-help. Com. Call 1-88-789-7777 or visit ccpg. Org/chat in Connecticut or visit mdgamblinghelp. Org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gambling helpline ma. Org, or call 800-327-5050 for 24-7 support, Massachusetts, or call 1877-8 Hope, NY, or text Hope, NY, in New.