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Hey, what's going on, everybody? Welcome to The Daily Social Distancing Show. I'm Trevor Noah. Today is Tuesday, the 27th of October, which means if you mail in your ballots after today, there is a chance it won't arrive in time to be counted. So if you don't want to risk your vote not being counted, then you need to bring your mail in ballot to a polling place, a drop box, or go vote in person. After all, you don't want to miss what could be the last election in American history, do you?

Anyway, coming up on tonight's show, America has a new top judge and Desi Liddick asks undecided voters what the hell their problem is. So let's do this, people.

Welcome to the daily social distancing show from Trevor's couch in New York City to your couch somewhere in the world. This is the Daily Social Decency Show with children all ears a. Let's kick things off with what's on everyone's mind right now. The US presidential election is just one week away, one week. People and passions are running high in Florida. A man went on a backhoe blitz stealing a bulldozer and adding his own curb appeal to homes of Biden supporters.

James Blight drove around Haines City, digging out Biden Harris signs from front yards. According to authorities, he'd been drinking whiskey all day and stole the bulldozer from a nearby Arby's construction site.

This is truly such an amazing Florida story. The only question now is whether this guy is going to end up in jail or the governor's mansion. But it also goes to show how everybody is too obsessed with politics right now. I mean, this dude stole a bulldozer and his first thought was to drive over campaign signs.

He could have done so much more, he could have moved people's cars to another parking spot or stolen an ATM or knocked over a fire hydrant to watch the water spray out, guys. Life is so much bigger than just politics. Also, did this guy think that bulldozing those signs was going to make a difference in the election? What was the logic here, huh? It's like the owners of those houses were going to walk outside like, oh, no, my lawn sign is gone.

How will I remember who to vote for now? In fact, if I was one of the people he did this to, I wouldn't be mad.

I'll just buy more yard signs and put them in my back yard in the shape of a pool. Oh, yeah, you missed the other one. That's the deep end. I put two there and look.

I hate to blame video games for anything, but maybe this wouldn't have happened if Grand Theft Auto would release a new game already.

It's been seven years, Rockstar. The people are hungry for it. Meanwhile, President Trump, the Florida man in chief, is holding coronavirus giveaways all across the Midwest. And he clearly is getting tired of attacking Joe Biden because now he's putting efforts into getting Pamela Harris, Biden's running mate.

How about her Comilla? Did you see her last night on television with the laugh, ha ha ha! She kept laughing. I said, is there something wrong with her, too? I said, is there something wrong with her? She kept laughing at very, you know, serious questions. She's considered America's by far most liberal senator. She's more liberal than crazy. Bernie. Can you believe it? We're not going to have a socialist president, especially any female socialist president.

We're not going to have it. We're not going to put up with it. It's not going to happen.

Especially a female socialist president, especially a female.

What does that mean? If we're going to have socialism, it better be a dude, because I don't want some chick giving me free health care. What if she sticks her finger up my butt?

I love that a female socialist president is Trump's worst nightmare because now I can just picture him waking up in a cold sweat and Melania just being like, oh, no, honey, was it the female socialist president? Again, I'm just kidding. Melania and Trump don't share a bedroom.

And by the way, who is Donald Trump to say that anything about Comilla is weird? Really? He's going to judge her love. Like my man. You look like you were built by the same company who made the Tower of Pisa. I'm shocked people don't pose in front of you as well.

But let's move on, because if anyone needed a reminder about what's at stake in an election, well, last night you got it because last night's Republicans took full advantage of their hold on the White House and the Senate by officially sealing the deal on their replacement for the late Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, from judge to Justice Berrett by Anthony, that exactly one month after being nominated by President Trump, Amy Codi Barrett now joins the nation's highest court, concluding one of the quickest and most controversial Supreme Court confirmations in modern American history.

The late evening event punctuating the most partisan confirmation in more than 150 years.

All but one Senate Republican, Maine's Susan Collins, voting in favor of Barrett, every Democrat voting against her.

President Trump relishing in the made for TV photo op.

It is highly fitting that Justice Barrett fills the seat of a true pioneer for women. Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Say what you want about the GOP man. But this shit, this was gangsta. They swapped out a Supreme Court seat in four weeks.

This whole process, this whole process in four weeks was like watching a chop shop stripped down your coffeepots like, yo, I'll miss my outI, but you got to admire the technique.

And I don't know about you, but I was shocked to see the Senate move this quick. I mean, normally they take months to do anything, but here they moved so fast it was disorienting. It was like when you call customer service and immediately speak to a human being. This is Janet.

How can I help you? I wasn't ready. I mean, they just hustled Amy Barrett straight from the confirmation to a midnight ceremony.

She'd look like the basic cable version of Eyes Wide Shut and Guys. You know that any time you're doing a daytime event at night. Something is wrong, like if you're digging a hole during the day.

But if you're digging that same hole at night and you got to admit Trump's comments about Barack being the perfect replacement, RBG is grade A trolling. He knows what he's doing because, yes, Aaberg and Barret's are both women.

But Barrett is going to dismantle all of our good work. So this would be like if the Lakers replace LeBron with Ben Carson. Technically, yes, they're swapping one black man for another. But good luck on making the playoffs next season. I'm going to take the shot as soon as.

But while Republicans were celebrating, Senate Democrats had some ominous warnings for their colleagues who had finally crossed the line.

Our Republican colleagues are shattering the norm and breaking the rules and breaking their word, and there will be consequences.

I think there are now new rules in the Senate and I think Republicans have set them.

The next time the American people give Democrats a majority in this chamber, you will have forfeited the right to tell us how to run that majority.

If all of this rule breaking is taking place, what does the majority expect? What do they expect? They they expect that they're going to be able to break the rules with impunity. And when the shoe maybe is on the other foot, nothing's going to happen.

Who? Democrats are not happy, this is the kind of warning you hear at the beginning of a horror movie, you'll rue the day you burned me alive for being a witch. And I will blame the Democrats for being so pissed for them. It has been a constant four year losing streak. And every now and again they get a win. At this point, they basically the mix of politics. But by the sounds of it, if Democrats take control of the Senate, the gloves are coming off except for us.

McConnell, your gloves need to stay on so people can eat. And these aren't just empty threats either, if the polls can be trusted, Democrats actually have a very good chance of taking control of the Senate and the presidency next year. So the question is, what are they going to do for revenge? Well, according to Joe Biden. It's on if elected, would you move to add more justices to the Supreme Court if elected?

What I will do is put together a national commission of bipartisan commission of scholars, constitutional scholars, Democrats, Republicans and liberal conservative. And I will ask them to, over a 180 days, come back to me with recommendations as to how to reform the court system because it's getting out of whack the way which is being handled. And it's not about court packing. There's a number of other things that are constitutional scholars have debated. And I've looked to see what recommendations that commission might make.

Really, Joe Biden, Democrats could have threatened to do anything, expand the number of justices, make all the bathrooms in Congress gender fluid, get drunk and bulldoze the Supreme Court.

But instead they like you.

Just wait, Mitch, because in six months, the Democrats are going to bring a bipartisan commission all up your ass. Rest in peace route. We got you. I mean, a six month commission. I don't know that you could filibuster yourself, read the wrong Joe when everyone was like, we're going to the club to shut it down. Maybe you don't go or hear me out.

Who's ever heard of Scrabble? Look, here's the thing. The other day, Mitch McConnell had a simple response to everyone who was concerned about how he got Barret's onto the Supreme Court. In what he said. He said, you can't win them all.

The elections have consequences. And you know what? He's right. And there's another election coming up in a week, and that's also going to have consequences, too, but elections are only the beginning of the story. Republicans didn't take over the court just because they felt like they did it, because the people who elected them made it clear that it was a priority. So whatever your priority is for the Supreme Court going forward, you get a vote next week and then let the people you put in office know what you expect from them.

All right. When we come back, Desie light.

It gets real with undecided voters. It was good job, 20, 20 has been a long year so far, but some good things have happened like D'états coming back for a fourth season, but this time at a new home with I heart radio. That's right. Kanaya, back to give you a little bit of love, laughter and levity during these hard times. And for those of you who are new, I'm kidding. Ellis TV host, entrepreneur, mom, wife and the official host of Dead Ass podcast.

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Listen to D'états on the I Heart radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you listen to podcasts that at. Feeling lost, then we've got the podcast for you, Laborites. I'm Amanda Knox and I am Christopher Robinson. I know what it's like to be absolutely stuck to wind up in a life I never expected.

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Welcome back to Daily Social Distancing Show with the election already underway. Polls show that fewer than five percent of voters are still undecided. But why is that even that high?

Well, there's Lytic finds out every election season we hear about that rarest, most mysterious of demographics, the undecided voter, those few voters who may still be on the fence, the people who matter more than anyone else in this election.

These voters are very important to harness. And for either the Biden or Trump campaigns, the undecided 30 percent of voters usually decide elections.

And that's why politicians spend a lot of time trying to persuade them that how could anyone be undecided choosing between these guys this close to the election?

All of you are still undecided voters.

That's going to be just completely undecided.

I don't know if I am or not. So I'm right. I don't know.

So when do you think you're going to decide if you're undecided? You know, I. I don't know what I want to do. So I could be kind of waiting.

I feel like I'm stuck behind those people who try every single flavor at Baskin-Robbins and each of them have their own brand of indecision. There's biting curious Republicans.

I voted straight ticket Republican until the party was pretty much taken over by Donald Trump. But I'm pro-life, so I voted for Trump in 2016.

But I don't know that our country can can survive another four years of what feels like pure turmoil.

There are also Democrats who are hiding from Biden. Something that, you know, I've seen with the with the Democratic Party is how they would take the African-American on the black vote for granted and the independent who's pissed off with everybody.

What each candidate is offering is the fact that someone can go bankrupt because of an emergency I think is embarrassing. And I think that we lack maternity care for uninsured women to even stop flirting with me.

I'm married. OK, don't get any ideas. All right. Sorry.

Go on. Okay.

Maybe picking a president is too big of a decision. How about we start with something smaller? All right.

Coke or Pepsi? OK, OK. Pepsi, Coke. Chicken or fish.

Chicken, which is great. I'm vegan.

All right, shut the fuck up, Stephen. So they can make decisions then. What's so hard about this one? Well, election forecaster Rachel Bit of copper has a provocative theory on whether the undecided are even real in the world of political science.

Like we don't have all this mystery about undecided voters. Like if I was to talk to a group of undecided voters, like the first thing I would ask them is listen to the Democrats or Republicans.

And then if they told me that they did nine out of ten times, I can tell you who they're going to vote for.

Sounds like a simple idea, but it made Rachel's forecast for the twenty eighteen midterm elections one of the most accurate. Thanks to a key theory. Winning elections isn't about persuading the undecided. It's about motivating your team to show up. And the biggest motivator is how much you dislike the other side.

I knew like this this concept from political science research called negative partisanship, which is the fear and the hate that people feel towards the opposition party.

It's like when I kept voting for Dancing with the Stars just to get Sean Spicer. That's exactly right. That's negative partisanship.

I don't even like Dancing with the Stars when it comes to voting off Delice celebrities. I'm more of a mass singer kind of girl. So if negative partisanship decides every election, why is anyone still pretending to be undecided?

There are some sexiness to being undecided, right?

I mean, especially as presidential elections, like, you know, you've got if you're in a swing state, you get all these stump reporters wandering around and you know who's undecided, who's undecided or you undecided.

You're saying that they just identify as undecided even when they're not actually undecided, like they're basically Rachel Dolezal indecision.

You can tell they're fake is because they are you know, they can't decide between Donald Trump and Joe Biden.

Right. They're fake is fake. I'm going to tell them to their face.

Amanda, you guys, you're not actually undecided. You're just telling me that you're undecided to keep me on my toes for suspense? Well, guess what? It's not working.

Let's just go around. Which way are you leaning?

Joe Biden, I'm leaning towards Trump. OK, fine. So you're not undecided, you do know who you're voting for.

Can we still be friends? Let me think about it. I'm a little undecided.

So Rachel is right. Most of these undecideds were just making it for attention. But I still had to ask her about the only thing that really matters this election.

I want to know who's going to win. But don't tell me if that's bad news and if it's good news, don't say anything.

OK? It is good news. I'm undecided about it. You know what, don't with me, political science has a term for that famous thank you so much does.

All right. When we come back, I'll talk to the hilarious Chelsea Handler. You don't want to miss it. Hey, it's Bobby Bones, executive producer of Make It Up as we Go, the brand new podcast from Audio Up and I Heart Radio brought to you exclusively by Unilever's Noor and Magnum Brands. The story follows a songwriter's journey as well as the songs themselves and how they make it to country radio from executive producer Miranda Lambert and creators Scarlett Burg and Jared Goosestep, a story inspired by the competitive world of Nashville writing rooms featuring original music by Scarlett Burke, director and executive producer, featuring some of the biggest names in country, including The Cool Guy and everything now.

Nowadays, everything just now stands. I make it up as we go only on the Iraq Podcast Network in association with audio of media created by Scarlett Burke and Jared Goosestep. Thirteen days of Halloween, a remote hotel, this, my friend, is Hawthorne, that the most unusual guests, they sound like someone you trust, you don't touch it.

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Listen with headphones or air pods, one story each night starting October 19th and ending on Halloween, Rahmi Heart Radio and Blumhouse Television listen to Aaron Manches, 13 days of Halloween on the I Heart radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast. Welcome back to the Daily Social Distancing Show. Earlier today, I spoke with best selling author and comedian Chelsea Handler. We talked about her new standup special, the upcoming election, and so much more. Chelsea Handler, welcome to The Daily Social Distancing Show.

Hi, Trevor. How are you?

I'm doing fantastic. Thank you very much. How are you doing? I feel like you have been on quite a journey over the last few years. I know we spoke about some of the things you experienced in your book, but your new standup special is out and it has been six years since you were last on the stage. So how are you and why now?

I feel like I wanted to bring some relief to this time that we're all stuck in between the pandemic and this administration. I really felt compelled to like figure out a way to shoot this standup special during covid. And going home to New Jersey just seemed kind of apropos of everything in the special I'm talking about. And it was just for me, a big reminder of humanity and the fact that we're all kind of struggling together. And not to forget that and to remind people like, hey, there is laughter in pain and all of that good stuff.

So it was meaningful to me to to shoot it during covenanted and to run the show during, but in practice, the sets and all of that stuff and to give and to bring everybody together for a night for many people who had not been out since covid started.

So I've always loved how you put your specials together with it's traveling to Africa and then coming back with a different perspective on life or doing all the drugs in the world and then doing a special about that experience.

So the jobs are a theme in all of my special work.

But but the why of this was really interesting to me because it has been six years since you were last on the stage doing a show like this. And I wanted to know why. I'm always intrigued by why someone comes back when they come back.

I didn't really feel like I had anything to say in the stand up medium. I think I was just exhausted by doing all of my shows and my books and my touring that I didn't feel like I was making a contribution. And when I took a step back after leaving my Netflix show a few years ago and really sat and thought and went to therapy and thought about my privilege and thought about the contribution I wanted to make rather than the taking and the taking and the cashing of checks and all of that.

And being a loudmouth, just that it was like, well, what am I really going to do? What am I here to say? And who am I here to be an ally to? All of those things started to marinate in a different way for me, and I stopped spinning eight plates at the same time and was able to focus on one thing at a time, whether it be my book or my documentary or this special evolution. The integrity changes when you are focusing on one thing.

So the more the deeper I can get, the better off you know, and the more I can impart and hopefully help and touch people in ways I hadn't before.

What I love about the special is how you talk about therapy. What are some of the biggest things you learned about yourself in therapy that have now changed how Chelsea Handler approaches the world?

Well, first of all, I got the gift of self-awareness, which is invaluable to find out that I've been behaving like a bitch for so many years without even thinking about it. I was like, OK, I'm just here to tell people the truth. And it's like, well, not everybody needs to hear it from me or is interested in hearing it from me.

So it was a big it was very revelatory, a, to find that out about myself, to find out that I had delayed grief about something that happened as a little girl and that I had trauma that moving to L.A., you live in this world where everyone wants to talk about trauma and triggers and manifestation and Khail, and eventually you fall into and you end up at a silent retreat sipping kale juice with explosive diarrhea going, how did I get here too?

But it's true. You know, it helps to go to therapy and talk with somebody about your problems. And it's the most humiliating experience. It's and that's why I had to share it, because, like, you find out things about yourself that you're too embarrassed to even say out loud. Right. Right, right. And you have to admit all of your shortcomings. You know, you have to admit your impatience. The fact that I can't even stand in line at a Hudson bookseller's at the airport because the slowness of the transaction annoys me.

It's too slow. I mean, going over all of these things with a therapist and being like, so what do you think I have added? And they're like, now it's a little bit more serious than that. In my case, it was that I lacked empathy. And for me, I was like it was like a light bulb once that went off and I realized he was telling me the truth and I realized I did lack empathy. I was like, OK, OK, I'm here to stay, give me the information and go back.

And then once I realized everything's funny, you know, if you're a comedian, everything's funny. Even death is. So you just need time to just kind of put it into your storytelling, whatever your specialty is. And so I was really excited to share this with everybody and just kind of really show myself in a way that I hadn't been seen before either. It was and it wasn't scary. It was like it was new and exciting. Yeah, it also felt a lot more vulnerable than we used to.

I mean, it's a special way you talk about death in your family, about, you know, your father dealing with your brother's passing. You talk about the pain that you experience. You share a lot in a way that is very vulnerable and it feels very different for us to see with you. Even you talking about not drinking as much, you know, which is very funny, but also really honest in the way that you were telling the story.

Did you enjoy being that vulnerable? Because, I mean, like as a comedian, you always have the shield, you know, but it felt like you had a few cracks in the shield and you allowed people to in front of them. They have before. Was that a little frightening for you?

You know, it was hard as a comedian, it's hard to be in on stage and not hear laughter. So when I showed that show, the special when I showed it to my agents and I said, hey, I think I have a I have a special ready. And they came to see it, my agent was like, you have to sit with the serious moment longer and let it breathe. And I'm like, I can't. I'm allergic to not having that that instant gratification that comedians are used to.

You know, that's what they do. What makes Chappelle so genius and he doesn't feel the need to go after for the laughs. He's provoking your thoughts. And so it's really hard.

And it was hard for me in that sense to really stick to the moment and let the moment breathe when I do talk about my brother, because I know it is emotional and, you know, you don't get emotional every time, but when you're really present with some things and it shows up in your work and it was a great lesson in how to be diligent and be focused, be focused through the beginning of a set, and then taking it all the way to filming the special and to be present and not to be drunk or wasted, you know, to be you can be a little stoned now.

That's my thing. But but the other stuff is like, oh, that's old me. You know, there's like a new thing happening. So it's fun to share it with people, but it's definitely no, I like to walk through challenges. I love to be different. I love to show something different when I'm feeling something different.

Although you have always been someone who is crazy and loud and funny and just like doesn't take anything seriously. You've always been really engaged in politics. One of the more interesting political discussions you've gotten into recently was between yourself and 50 Cent. You guys have had an interesting relationship over the past few years. And the latest update that I've seen is 50 Cent said he will be voting for Trump because despite him not doing well with black people and not being grateful, black people, 50 doesn't want to pay as many taxes.

You then stepped in and said, I'll pay your taxes if you if you vote for Joe Biden. And then you said, and maybe I'll even have sex with you. I mean, you alluded to it and then 50 came back and responded and said, all right, I'm voting for Biden. I mean, this this seems like I should be on the next level is what you've done here, Chelsea Handler.

Well, first, let me say something. I spoke to 50 Cent last night on the telephone, and I'm going to tell you all about it.

But first, I want to apologize for having to say I was reminding him that he was a black man. That's inappropriate. And I think as an ally, I need to set an example by always apologizing when I make a misstep. And that was a misstep that I'm a white woman saying that to a black man. That's not cool. So I apologize to everyone who was offended by that. I will say that if any of my ex boyfriends come out in support of a white supremacist president that we have, I am going to call them out on it.

So he and I did have a conversation last night on the phone for about, I don't know, twenty five minutes, 30 minutes. I just wanted to make sure I wanted to talk to him about what he tweeted and to see if he was serious, because sometimes he tweets things that aren't serious, as do I, and he's not. He's supporting Biden. So he was just kind of pissed about the taxes and we were joking about that. But I you know, we talked about like taxes are when you make a lot of money, you have the bigger responsibility.

That's what society is. And by the way, if you want to evade your taxes, Republicans have a whole handbook about how to do that. And there are many states you can live in to do just that. So it was a very healthy conversation. I did get the impression that he did ask me about taking a little spin. As I paraphrased it, I said I would be interested in taking another spin because you can't legally pay somebody to vote for someone.

So I am open to figuring out another form of payment for him. But he's already invited supporters, so I don't really even have to do that. Go down that road.

Well, I can safely say that if more politics was engaged with in the way that you have engaged with its politics would not only be a lot healthier, but a lot more interesting. Chelsea, thank you so much for joining me on the show. Congratulations on your new special and also, I think your new place in life. It's wonderful to see you.

Thanks, Trevor. It's always great to see you. Thank you. Thank you so much, Chelsea. Don't forget Chelsea Handler evolution is streaming now on HBO. Max? Well, that's our show for tonight, everybody. But before we go, remember, we are partnering with World Central Kitchen for their new Chefs for the Polls program. And what they're doing is really cool. They're getting local food trucks, restaurants and caterers owned and operated primarily by people of color to serve food to people who are waiting in line to vote, especially in communities where the voting lines are historically longer until tomorrow.

Stay safe out there, wear a mask. And remember, don't tear out your neighbor's yard signs. Just take a pen and explain your opposing views on the other side. Let's have a conversation, people. Then we can fight. The Daily Show with Criminal Ears Edition, watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11:00, 10:00 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central and watch full episodes and videos at The Daily Show Datong. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and subscribe to The Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more.

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