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I'm going to start in an unusual place because some of the people on this show right now have not seen what it is I'm about to talk about. And most of you listening for sure, did not see what I'm talking about. But Billy and Chris and I were roaring with laughter during the Marlins game because of something that happened and still got you're going to be made so uncomfortable. And the discomfort was so funny. I suppose at some point we'll get to the playoffs.
But so all of us, Billy, Chris and I are sitting there riveted by a Marlins game. Chris, what is the record now? They're still tied for first place. My wife was singing all weekend. Hey, Zus Aguilar, Marlen's first baseman for no good reason, just because he was on the screen that you liked singing his name. Right. And you explain to me where they are in the standings right now beyond first place. What is their record, according to your math?
Well, they are.
They're forty games in forty and a half games, and they've played there twenty four point three and sixteen point two, which is a lot better start than they're nine and six record would appear. OK, things are going well. They lost two out of three of the Braves, but we're still in this band in the conversation.
So Billy was excited because they are still tied for first place. But Billy, do you want to try to explain what it is that happens so quickly during the broadcast? Because it was uproarious and all three of us have the same reaction, like you're sort of watching a game the way you watch baseball, which is your half watching it. There's a lot of time in between. And then you check in like twenty five seconds in and you're like, wait a minute.
Is what I think happening here actually happening? And it was happening, there was a there was a hijacking during the game of someone conversationally. What would you say. How would you describe it was it was odd, I would say.
This is also guys, welcome. This is like a new era of the show. We're just starting with Marlin's. That is kind of strange energy. But OK, where's we're going to. Yeah, this is what happens. OK, yesterday, Major League Baseball was celebrating one hundred year of Negro Leagues. Right. So the Marlins were wearing an old Miami Giants, I think was Miami Giants uniform there. Other teams were wearing patches. It was like a big celebration.
Right. So during one of the innings, they had the president of the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum on Bob Kendrick and they were doing an interview with him now with baseball on TV. It's fine that you can do that because you see the action on radio. You wouldn't be able to do it if you're calling a game right now. Normally, these are interviews that you have with whoever it is and not much is going on. You can kind of follow along with what's going on.
Right. So they had him on for an inning.
Now, his answers, although he was on for an inning, seem to last three innings each answer that they got him on the Sunday night broadcast.
He was a bit of a Yagmur. Yes, he and they were teasing. So we will have this guy on. They were teasing to get to him, the head of the media.
Now, that's fine, except what happened was Don Mattingly Doni baseball was in the dugout arguing balls and strikes. And, you know, you can argue balls and strikes and baseball. And now there's this whole situation with social distancing and you have to wear a mask. So he's screaming from the dugout. He's covering his mask. He's running out on the field. The umpires there, he's covering his face and they are going back and forth. And you have no idea what's going on whatsoever because they asked the president, Bob Kendrick, a question.
And he's talking about he's answering the question, but he's going off for like two or three minutes. And this whole fight is going on. No one's explaining what's going on. They at no point said, hey, Bob, just wait a second. Let's take a look at what's going on here. Don Mattingly just got ejected. So you don't really know that Don Mattingly was ejected either. You assume he was because he left in a huff and then they showed him walking in in the dugout and show them walk up the tunnel.
So you have no idea what's going on. You just all of a sudden, Don Mattingly loses his mind. He's screaming from the dugout. He walks out to the field. He stays a good three feet away, which, by the way, to close study baseball, it's supposed to be six feet away from the umpire. Then he covers his face and then he made sure to let you know he pulled it out because it wasn't one of those, like regular facemask was one of those like buff type things.
So he'd pull it out so you could see his nose. So I guess he didn't want his sound. The sound of his voice being inhibited by the mask is is a good man. Stan, I don't know if you know how good, Mascord, you do the candle test where you go up to a candle with your mask and try to blow out the candles. We can't blow out the candles again. Just be quiet for a little while. So here's what happened.
I didn't miss you at all. I wish you'd been gone. You clearly have a week of pent up crud in your system that you just need to spit all over the place. This is the part that's funny about what happened there. He's sitting there as the head of the Negro Leagues Museum and he is talking for a long time as you're watching on your screen. And this isn't happening on the Braves broadcast, on the Braves broadcasts, you can hear all of his F bombs.
You can hear him just launching a bomb after F bomb after F bomb. But on the Marlins broadcasts, what you see and hear is simply this hijacker from the Negro Leagues talking on a day that's already awkward, right? Because you want to celebrate this. But what you're celebrating is, hey, remember how white people didn't allow black people to play baseball? Like it's just an awkward celebration to begin with. And what happened is the Marlins broadcasters, while Mattingly is being ejected, are simply afraid to interrupt this.
When I'm telling you all quite like from the ground and an extraterrestrial, I'm not going to interrupt what it is he was saying. So threateningly screaming umpire, all without audio. It's all just just a moment to be like audio for the wrong game, because what's happening on the field and you're not hearing the what they go through days without airing a commercial out of there.
The best part was that it lasted even at bat after the ejection. So it was like two at bats. Later, the guy's answer finally ended and they were like, by the way, three at bats. Ago, Don Mattingly got ejected. Sorry that we didn't get to tell you before. Now, that was the longest answer in the history of television. What happened to the British broadcast? It seems like the wheel that we'll never see them. Hijacker on the air, on the bridge.
But what happened is going to be manager of the year, huh? Yes. And he had such a point. I am done with umpires calling balls and strikes. There's so many. I mean, it goes both ways. Both teams end up getting screwed. But there are so many pitches. I'm telling you, umpires are struggling after this quarantine.
I'm telling you, I believe it's been the same crew, the last three series, which is odd that the same crew has been following the team around. So he is so fed up with these umpires at this point because they have been a little rusty. There have been some bad calls, which obviously every game is bad calls. But he's at a breaking point with these guys, like he is not having any of them and nobody is going to Dollie Baseball or David Ross Rossi.
Right. Or the Cubs. Yeah. I mean, the Cubs are better with that job at it than guys were already at the quarter pole.
All right. We're here. I just wanted to say quarter that.
Nothing else. We're here. Quarter pole. And then you ejected on the entire thought. I would have paid a great deal of money, honest to God, I would have paid a lot of money to just have a camera on Hollandsworth during all of that. And both just imagine that being in this position because they were in it and they really made a choice. And I would have loved to have heard the producers in their ears saying, hey, you guys can't interrupt or you guys need to interrupt and make your own decision about interrupting this guy's innings for the state.
Literally a hundred yards, a hundred years. We've been waiting for this guy. I am not interrupting this. And with everything that's happening in America, if you talk about Negro League Museum and celebrates Negro League, do you guys remember Jesse James, that motorcycle custom guy that was like a thing like fifteen years ago?
Anyone remember him now? Yeah, well, then this isn't going to go well. I sent you guys in the group, Jack, because I was seeing it this morning. You mentioned Joe Maddon. Jesse James is like this cool, like motorcycle custom guy. And he was like had all the tats and he had like the beard and all his stuff. It looks like Joe Maddon. Now, I sent you guys a thing so you could see him, but you guys don't know who he is.
So this is probably isn't going to it's going to fall.
It'll start by you. Billy, can you go back on vacation? Is that possible? What do you do you need to work today because I feel like everything would be going better. If you are in logic, what do you we have no idea what you're talking about, but throw it in the job for us to read while we're doing the radio.
It's a visual thing, which again, doesn't isn't great on a podcast. But if you're at home right now, just Google Jesse James, TMZ, and tell me that guy doesn't see guys click that link. Tell him that guy doesn't look like Joe Maddon.
Now, check it out. Right now, my computer's moving a little. He believes that he's with the bastard. Come in and you're just like we did a good week of shows last week and you come in here and you pull up on everything we're doing.
Now, I disagree, Dan. Billy's bringing the energy. I like what he's doing so far, Billy. He's right there. Now back to the Marlins real fast. Back to Francisco Cervelli. I figured something out about him this weekend. Every baseball team needs a guy who respects the game on their roster. Francisco Cervelli respects the game. He does this thing at his first at bat, Billy Otis's first at bat. Every game he tips his cap, his helmet to the pitcher before his first at bat.
That's a guy that respects the game and that I just like I saw him do that. And I'm like, I knew I like this. Francisco Cervelli Every team needs a brain kid. And you're right. You're right. You took it a little too far. There are somewhere between a Savelli and a McCann and Savelli. Nice. So nice gesture to the guy. He basically he's basically saying to the pitcher, I bid you good battle, like exactly what he's doing.
It's like the bad Karate Kid before Lorusso and Johnny Large square off. They bow to each other right out of respect. You know, if you notice and watch that movie back, La Russa is giving everyone the proper back to the corporate dodgers who don't respect the Russo at all. They barely battled back. It's very disrespectful.
I guess it all matters that where he's batting, though, right? Because, like, if he's batting six and it's like the second inning, not the same thing, like, you got to kind of get in it. It has to be with you, the road team. And you're it's the top of the first inning that you're like a well, let's go to battle.
It's the extra step because I think the respectful thing in baseball that's the common thing is when you step into the batter's box, you tap the catcher on his knee pads with your bat and you do the same thing with the umpire. It's like the way to show respect.
So the tip of the cap is just the next level of, wow, this is a really, really bright you've got a bad Cervelli lead off if you want the proper amount of respect him doing it in the second inning. I imagine him exhibiting that respect while the game from the Negro Leagues Museum was talking and all of a sudden it was because you didn't do it right off the top of the game.
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I feel like I want to object to what Chris Cody said in the first segment and almost everything Billy said in the first segment. What do you mean?
What do you really say? Jesse James, I'm telling you, looks just like Joe Maddon now. And if you see what he used to look like, it would be shocking to you. All right. I'm telling. All right.
Listen to me, Billy. This is how this is what you've done to the show here on your return from vacation, because you're sitting here telling everybody to look at how much Jesse James looks like Joe Maddon. But all I see in this chat, OK, and this is why I don't know what you're talking about is a link that has James Monkey breaks in the neighbor's house or rectum aroused horny. That's what showed up in the chat.
What is in the I'm afraid I feel like Disney will immediately fire me if I if I click on it. What is that?
Well, I don't write the headlines. I guess the story is that I didn't read the story. I just it was like Joe Manning looks just like Joe Maddon. Look, there is I love Bobby.
I love how Billy stumbled upon this headline and just took away what he looked like, as opposed to the very interesting sounding headline that the story actually is.
Billy, I need you to now click on this actual story. No, this is what you did in the first segment. This is what you did. You ask the radio audience something that was visual. And the story, the headline on TMZ is Jesse James Monkey Breaks in the Neighbor's House, Erection Aroused Horny. I don't have any idea what's happening in that story after the break. Well, here's here's the problem, right? So I see Jesse James and I'm like, man, is that Joe Maddon on to see what's the.
Oh, no. Jesse James former sex symbol. I guess he can be a former sex symbol. You're always a sex anyways. So I'm looking at it and it says here, that's my monkey in your house. And yes, he's very happy to see you. There's nothing in there about the link that you were saying. There's nothing. So I didn't see the link when I spent this. I just want you guys to see what Jesse James looks like today.
That's all it is, is a little pet monkey. Toby, Toby, James.
Yeah, I'm glad you did. He looks like Joe, man. You're right that Toby James that Lewis went to a neighbor's pad as we did and he didn't get excited in the way you're suggesting. He gets excited. The monkey he was just excited in the form of is not going to be climbing all over the house. He was excited to be anywhere but Jesse James. That's apparently what happened.
So I want to get back to what it is that Chris was saying there, because I think it was just a throwaway line where he says every team needs one guy who super respects the game. I don't know. But that is true. I think that he was just saying that because he wanted to do a riff about Savelli, tipping is up to the picture. I'm only screaming on the air for decades, Chris, that you don't have to respect the game.
And it is not blasphemous to just enjoy the game as opposed to respecting that.
Dan, it's about balance. Like everything in life, it's about balance. You want the fun guys who respect don't respect the game, but you need a C. That's why the key is it being a backup catcher. You need a backup catcher who respects the game. Everybody else can do whatever the hell they want. You need a backup catcher who respects the game, who just ranged you in every once in a while when you need it. He tips the cap to the other team, the other team that respects you.
I'm just telling you, one guy, backup catcher, respect the game.
What did you spend the weekend turning into, Mr. McGee? I mean. All right, hold on a second. I need to stop second, because if people want a whole bunch of Karate Kid references, they could go to Bill Simmons in the ringer. Is that what you're doing today? You're just going to seem pretty good because that's referencing movies that are 30 and 40 years old. Billy, have you seen you? Yeah. Jaden Smith. Yeah, it was great.
Classic Jesus Christ. Oh, God.
Please get close to the microphone. For those of you who do not know, we have had all manner of audio difficulties in this first segment. Stewart is speaking into a microphone that we have told him for one hour does not work. And now he's walking around his room with that microphone when he needs into the zone of microphone. We're sorry that this sounds as bad as it does. We're not doing this on purpose, although it's perfectly symbolic as ESPN goes in another direction on ESPN Radio, we go from time to noon and we debut what it is we're doing here today.
Nobody's audio is working.
If you wonder why you're not hearing Mike, it's because Mike is just he's done. He's deep down below the Clevelander. He's like in wires. He's like in a computer right now. He's like he's like scuba diving in a computer right now.
Trying to let me explain to the odd. Here, let me let them look behind the scenes here real quick on what it is that we were doing before we got here. And Chris is totally right. Mike Ryan is underneath the earth right now pulling cables and swimming and wires because, OK, we had intended to start with wake and take in.
What I'm hoping to do is go back and get the audio of how we started the show so that we have to hear how we intended to start this show and the number of things that went wrong that made a start instead with McCain in a panic flipping the car.
The reason we started that way is opening the audio with work. And we're going to play that sound for you in a second.
Yes, Billy, also, if this started with, we can take we figured it out and fixed it.
Thank you for not clicking on house arrest around Horny Monkey. He's going to play for the audience here.
How it is that our big debut here on this new day, the dawning of a new day at ESPN Radio writes, I believe because none of his microphones work, I believe he is under the earth for the audience. So get a kick out of this. How it is that we tried to start the show today.
Our big debut here on ESPN Radio is the whole lineup change to try to have your mikes muted before the open and then when I'll point to you and then make yourself OK, make sure to not talk before you make yourself give it a half a beat. Otherwise you'll cut yourself off. Here we go. I was talking to you, your microphone. Mute your microphone. Hey, can you hear me but. There you go, Jesus, it is time to wake up and take one to at seven, eight, six, four, five, six, four, eight, three seven.
That's seven, eight, six, four, five, six or eight, three, seven. And still wants to hear from you. Seven, eight, six, four, five, six, four, eight, three seven. What's on your mind. Seven, eight, six, four, five, six or eight. Three seven. How big was your first? Two, seven, eight, six, four, five, six, four, eight, three seven.
He's taking notes seven, eight, six, four or five six four eight three seven. But it's up to you to get them out of the game. Seven, eight, six, four, five, six or eight three seven goal now seven, eight, six, four, five, six or eight, three, seven, six, seven, eight, six, four, five, six, four, eight, three, seven.
We've got to start over commuted to God.
Did I not give like a detailed rundown. There we go. You know.
All right, one more time for the rodeo. Maybe we don't deserve three hours sleep.
Oh, man. All right, here we go. How to do the whole thing again because of the present set up. It is time to wake up stage with stopgaps, seven, eight, six, four, five, six, four, eight, three, seven. That's seven, eight, six, four, five, six or eight, three seven. And still wants to hear from you. Seven, eight, six, four, five, six, four, eight, three seven.
What's on your mind? Seven, eight, six, four, five, six or eight. Three seven. How was your first two seven, eight, six, four, five, six, four, eight three seven. He's taking notes. Seven, eight, six, four, five, six, four, eight three seven. But it's up to you to get them out of the seven eight six four five six four eight three seven go now seven eight six or five, six or eight three seven.
That's seven, eight, six, four, five, six, four, eight, three, seven, eight.
Inside or wait day here on the local hour, seven, eight, six, four, five six four eight three seven. That number again is seven eight six four five six four eight three seven eight. Shoot your body. Give it at 17 times during that outfit. I have news. I have notes. I have thought I have opinions. I could open up this microphone and share those thoughts, those opinions, my news, my notes, my voice sounds awful.
I can share with you, but that is not how we do it here. I wake up to call me seven, eight, six, four, five, six or eight. Three seven is the right question. You get the sausage, you get the opinions, you get the news. You get the topics. Yeah, we got that part.
We got that book.
Is Dad doing here. Might get so mad at you. You're breaking the rules and I'm sorry Sue. God damn doesn't know no one else can talk and so Sue God sets the table. Shame on you. I'm sorry. Do you think she gets back now.
Why is Mike mad at me. What did I do? I mean, here I am two hours earlier than normal. I have dialed up. I had in the zoo room. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not, you know, technologically savvy. But we digress here.
Let's let's do this real quick because we'll go ahead and air the dirty laundry. Right now, Stewart is sounding like he's on the zoom because he is it's one of the biggest things in show history. And he decided to go to Maryland knowing full well the consequences of doing so. He has a comics unit that would give him studio audio quality. He's decided against connecting because he doesn't really know what he's doing. And it's just too much of a headache to try to make a an audio engineer.
So he's on the Zoome presently talking into a microphone that is unplugged because I am just picking him up off of his internal microphone. We've got you sound like shit under normal circumstances, like under the under any circumstances. You sound like shit at this hour in the morning you sound even worse. You're holding a microphone that doesn't work. It's a pretty useless prop.
It's a microphone. It's a beauty. And I got news for you. The tournament I went to see that Mike keeps calling the tournament was the only opportunity you'll ever have in my life to watch my daughter play at an all-American level for us. So I don't regret it. I'm all for it. And if I didn't send the text last night asking me if I was going to dial up, we were dealing with this last second. I mean, I'm the only one who thought about it.
Billy, what are you guys. I'm good. Chris, you good?
Oh, I'm good. Hold on. Let's start over. We've got to start over. Hold on. I'm sorry. You have to do the whole open. No, no, I'm sorry. You have to do. I think we have to do the whole open. Right. Hang on.
I have a shorter one if you if you'd like. Yeah. I'm going to have to play the shorter one now.
I'm sorry we got your theory. Yeah. This is OK. The three join. No, don't say the F word. That's just more work for me.
So you think Greaney wants two extra hours and we could just do a one hour show daily. Is it covered up fight and she's all right.
Just give me half a beat.
And now we're coming out of the box with the new lineup. ESPN Radio still got Phlegmy Fleming off for the Miami Heat.
Start the play on the AJC back and better than ever is so sad for these guys.
It takes a long time for whatever reasons these open are. These open are like twenty minutes.
Right. Here we go. And now that's the way Ontake wants to get seven, eight, six. Four, five, six or eight, three, seven. That's seven, eight, six, four, five, six or eight, three seven. And still wants to hear from you. Seven, eight, six, four, five, six, four, eight, three, seven. What's on your mind? Seven, eight, six, four, five, six or eight.
Three, seven, five. Boys, young boys to seven, six, four, five, six, four, eight, three seven. He's taking notes. Seven, eight, six, four, five, six, four, eight, three, seven. But it's up to you to get them out of the game. Seven, eight six four five six four eight three seven. So now seven eight six four five six eight three seven. That's seven, eight, six, four, five, six, four, eight, three, seven, eight, five time waiting to take care of Spokeo.
Our 790 the ticket seven eight six four five six four eight three seven. That number again seven eight six or five, six or eight three seven. I had news. I had notes. I thought I had ten years. I could share them with you. But that is not how we do it here. All can take it. Is your job and your job alone to get those thoughts opinions out of me? I am very much looking forward to this.
Wow. The first few days we've done digitally. Again, I have thoughts, opinions, news& notes. I took them all. We get why everything is happening. While I will get your calls here just a second. I'll be er a man. But first we interviewed a very pissed off Michael Ryan. Good morning. My go. How are you today. Oh, wow. Wow. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. But after all, that makes microphones muted.
Yes. Use my mike. Mike on the board for you to Mike works, OK? What happened? I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know why either. Mike works. I'm afraid to turn Dan's mic off right now because the anchor's saying, like, because Danny turn something off if there's something up with a wire and give me a second. Did you know Geico is now offering an extra 15 percent credit on car and motorcycle policies, that's 15 percent on top of what Geico could already save you. So what are you waiting for your baby to let you sleep in?
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It is legitimately hard to overstate how bad we can be. What about you guys? And I know I know it's funny because we've been sitting here howling with laughter and all of the mistakes. We have been here since 6:00 this morning. Trying to do this correctly out here works. And it's Danisco earning wayas on and off and under the building. And he's furious. He just came up for air and I saw his face. And not only is it covered in dirt and whatever it is, it's under the earth.
We wonder what you imagine. It's some form of radioactive contamination of semen and maggots and might just come up from under the Clevelander. And he is furious with everything that's going on here.
So just now that we heard that, we want to maybe reassess your Jesse James bad take opinion or I mean, I looked at it right, Dad.
It looks just like it looks just like Joe Maddon, by the way. I mean, you blaming Daddy? Fine. Fine. I don't know.
Danny had everything to do with it. I came in here, my microphones didn't work. The clock didn't work and the lights didn't work. I don't know. I don't know what Danny did, but he turned off a bunch of water. And not only that, I hearing circuit breakers go off in my ear throughout those first three seconds, we were like these giant shocking electrical sounds that made it feel like lightning was hitting my ear gas.
A serious question. I know that it's it's fun to say Danny did something, but you guys honestly think Danny, who's a TV like stagehand, came into the radio studio and just started unplugging things for fun to mess everything up. That seems unlikely. A funny visual. That's a funny visual of Danny. Just like I'm not there. No, no, no.
You guys have it being. No. You guys having nefarious and sinister instead of incompetent. No, you guys got it. You guys got it all wrong. It wasn't something he did on purpose. It was he prioritized highly questionable and short circuited everything that was happening around here.
So, hey, hey, guys, I can actually add something like, hey, it's been a morning and I'm not sure we're going to have a national show today.
So just keeping you posted, basically, there is a poison that is sweeping across our board. And the only thing that works is Dan's microphone. But I was trying to get it fixed. We're doing the power cycles, talking with engineers. ESPN took away our onsite engineer. And for months I've been warning of a doomsday scenario in which we couldn't get to air and they would have to essentially fly him down here in thirty minutes. So I was like, the day is coming.
Well, the day is here. And it's funny you mention it's funny you should mention the Danny thing because rather than just turn switches off, Danny turns off entire circuit breakers. I'm like, I'll just be on my computer one day and the entire board will go dark. I'm like, what the heck? And it's just Danny, like trying to turn on a light in his studio. So we have techs that are dialing in remotely, trying to fix all this.
I'm telling Danny, hey, don't touch anything. They're trying to fix everything. The most recent thing where all the power is often here was just data going on circuit breakers because some lamp went out and his thing. I'm like, you're ruining everything. You guys remember the Concorde? What's the Concorde?
Is that the plane that would get you across things really quick if we stopped Concorde, you get on board will conquer like conquering that Concorde.
Welcome back, Bill. It's nice to have you back. What's the latest status on Jesse James? Is monkey breaking into neighbor's house erection aroused a warning.
I think that the the suspect was apprehended in. That thing's all been wrapped up.
I'm confused in my right to say we have the day off. What thing is all wrapped up?