Transcribe your podcast
[00:00:00]

I feel like the only place to start this postgame show is jumping off the last thing Dan said, an hour or two there, if you had to take a bath in a type of liquor. Roy, I feel like this is a perfect question for you. If I made you right now go take a bath in some sort of alcohol or liquor. What are you choosing? Vodka, vodka?

[00:00:19]

Are you doing that because you're not a vodka drinker? So what's your strategy there?

[00:00:22]

That that would be the most delightful to take a bath and it's pretty antiseptic so I can get in there and be clean. That's not bad. I don't love the smell of vodka. What's your guys least favorite smell in terms of alcohol?

[00:00:35]

Vodka to me has a smell, so I don't think I'd choose I think most people would just sign up for whatever alcohol was the source of one really bad night when they were younger. Like some people have that with the anger. Some people have that with tequila.

[00:00:50]

Yagur For me, I like tequila. Some most people go that way, I think with tequila, but I go that way with the aguer. God got some very curious to know what it is and please on mute your mic, as I've been trying to signal you to do for the last three minutes. I go, Yeager's well, I would also tell you I'd be smart to bathe in something that you actually drink, right? Like, I would probably bathe in a bathtub full of gin and tonic.

[00:01:16]

Right.

[00:01:16]

I mean, that you can't use a mixer. I didn't know the mixers were available. This changes the game a little bit. Amar'e Stoudemire made like wine bars the thing. So I think I'd go wine. You guys, not a shavitz, you guys not believe that it will burn your butthole, that whatever it is that you're putting in there is going to go ahead? Good point. It's an excellent point. I hadn't even considered my own butthole.

[00:01:40]

Oh, you guys reacted with shock to this. But I feel like I feel like that's a pertinent question. If we're going to do this is a hypothetical. My bad experience in college, I can't have Reimplement ever again. Like, I can't do it because I didn't know how to drink and I drank like, oh, I'm want a play now. I want to throw up right now because I didn't know that peppermint schnapps could be 100 proof. I actually like supplements.

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And that's that's maybe that's not surprising to anyone. It's like you just brush your teeth, but yet you get drunk. It's great. Do we know for certain that alcohol burned your butthole?

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I mean, do we know that mean weird? Like, I was thinking, like, you don't want to lay in something that's going to be super sticky. I'd never considered the other option.

[00:02:26]

I would think of like three. Do you guys, because Chris is saying that he doesn't like the smell of vodka. So I got caught yesterday on the other thing, reaching over and smelling a drink before I drank it. And it's because I have this orange cup, right. And I was trying to figure out if what was inside was water, lemonade or orange soda, because they would all look the same side of thing. Been there, brother.

[00:02:48]

So I'm wondering if you guys ever have a thing where you can use what is in your cup and you go to smell it first? Not smell it, not smell it, but approach it cautiously, because I think we've all been burned by perhaps the sip of water we thought we were going for, but it ends up being vodka. I hate that. And when you have, like, the the colored plastic cups and if you have, like, fruit punch in it, it's just hard to discern if it's water or something else.

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What's the worst water where you're expecting it to be something. It's something else. For me, when I'm expecting it to be a Coke, it is a Diet Coke. That is bad. That's pretty good.

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You know what the worst when you go to like a fast food place, you know, like, I want a Coke and they give you like a Dr. Pepper. I'm Dr. Pepper. That's pretty bad. So I take the first sip of your Dr. Pepper, Mr..

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And I'm like, oh, get over it.

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One time when I was young, my brother played a trick on me and I was like, can you get me a glass of water? And he brought back and he gave me just some of that Viennese sausage juice.

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What do on want to trade show for your brother? What'd you just tell me? I could still taste it right now. That's why I hate those. Billy used to bring those, like get those away from scart.

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Do you normally drink cloudy water? Like, wouldn't you know, like, hey, this looks up here. I just trusted my brother. I didn't think about a glass of water. Hey, thanks, man.

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Oh yeah. I think I'll just hearken back to my common theme here is just being blasted when I was college age and just thinking someone was being helpful to me with a glass of water after I was a little dehydrated after a drink and it just being more vodka.

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Oh, Chris, yours is awful, though, like the airable. How do you not smell that before you put it, before it hits your mouth? Like how thirsty were you or how much of you is a glutton that just needs to consume things as fast as possible without ever smelling them?

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I believe it was video game related, like we were doing like some sort of draft at MLB. So I was like really into the video game. And yeah, I just it got me and I drank it and it was I'm still scarred to this day because he got you out, Max.

[00:05:01]

Focus.

[00:05:02]

Well, my guess was we can tell some pretty funny stories in terms of brothers getting you with pranked. You probably have a bunch of those cookies because your brother is funny. So he does stuff like that. And that's only funny to the person doing it. Like if if something like that were to happen to use to God, do you think you'd find the humor in it even 30 years later?

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No, I would punch my brother in the face. You hit him. I mean, there's nothing funny about that. But the closer they are to you, I mean, your brother's the person who most likely to do something like that to you or maybe your best friend. So, I mean, the closer they are to the more skeptical you have to be, especially if, you know your family is a bunch of pranksters curse at this point. You know, your family's all out to give each other like you have to keep your friends close your enemies closer.

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It's to get back to me, right?

[00:05:57]

Well, my brother loves to. He did this late into life. So this isn't even a joke when I say it's something he will do in his 40s. My brother loves to scare people and he had this back and forth with a friend of his that was just finding ways to scare each other. And his friend urinated himself one time because my brother was hiding in some shrubbery for about 70 minutes, hiding right underneath the call box where you have to dial in, reach your hand out and dial the call box.

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When he pulled up, when his friend pulled up and my brother just very quietly from the shrubbery, reached out hand toward him as his arm came out and just quietly sort of made the sound.

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And his friend wet himself like just in the car, got so scared because he wasn't expecting that that he simply wet himself.

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Did you and your brother fight like were you big fighters, you unibrow?

[00:07:08]

Yes. There there are legendary stories about like him pulling a knife on me.

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And I was saying, oh, yeah, listen, I was look, he he pulled a legitimate knife, OK? And I was in Tidey whity underwear. I was, I don't know, forty one years old.

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Knew you didn't surprise me. I saw that one guy I was in tidy wildy underwear at whatever it is, eleven or twelve years old and I was a good deal bigger than he was.

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And so to the surprise of no one, that is correct, except in the neighborhood where we once by bullies got our pants pulled down and they said, Who's the big brother again?

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Or Guy? Oh, although congrats to you, bro.

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I was forty four years old. And so and my brother, I'm sorry, we weren't surprised by that one.

[00:08:11]

I'm sorry, I'm no, I'm sorry. Where was I in the story?

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The pants were being pulled after that one, you know, on your forty four years. No sideways. And your brother apparently has a huge hammer.

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He didn't he didn't pull out the knife phrasing. He didn't pull out the knife immediately. But once he did, he looked at me. I remember this so clearly because.

[00:08:40]

Because you were forty seven years old. Because it just happened last week.

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So we were looking at each other and I realized at the same time that he realized that he wasn't going to actually be using that knife. So I immediately froze and then rage swept over me and in my tidy whities he threw the knife down in my tidy whities. I chased him right out of the house and across the street and through the neighbor's yard until I was on a four lane street in my tidy whities. And he was laughing at me from the distance because I was too big to catch.

[00:09:16]

I want to give this is a postgame show and thank you guys so much for supporting this content. The download numbers are really encouraging. Really good stuff. This week, a special little nugget for those that have stuck with us for the rest of the way. Juju Godey's is going to be handling our social media handles this week, and that's always popular with our fans. You, too, got a super fan that has a tattoo of Greg Cody and now pretty much everyone on his body, a an Atlanta area rapper that's going to be handling our social media accounts.

[00:09:45]

It's always fun. So make sure to give Libertador show a follow this week. That is a reminder that I have an on boarding call with a client. So I have to get. All right, get out of here. It's been a real I just can't get past the visual if you want to for late. It's great. It's just so great. It's so great.

[00:10:02]

We've got to remember to call my mom next week to tell the story about my father and dropping the pants. But I just wanted to tell the audience before we got out of here for the week, eh, I wanted to extend my gratitude for whatever bitching and whining I do screaming at everybody as part of the straight man for following us the way that you do, for caring about us, the way that you do, for supporting us in the face of some adversity at ESPN in a way that's really uncommon and that we are super grateful for.

[00:10:31]

We know that some of this has been disjointed this week. We know we've made a lot of mistakes. We do actually appreciate your feedback. I'd prefer you whined a little less, but we do prefer your feedback. We prefer I'm sorry, I we do appreciate your feedback and everything that we're doing around here, OK, to grow the product as you see what's happening around here on television during the pandemic and what we don't have access to with resources and support and everything else, we're just trying to do this right by you.

[00:11:01]

I will stop explaining the jokes next week. I will stop complaining as much as I have. I will stop going in narcissistically on stories and we will do more and more show next week. I just felt the need this week and I know many of you were uncomfortable to explain things again and again, even though I know you find it annoying because I want everyone to feel included here and you have to say things at different times so that everyone gets what you're doing.

[00:11:26]

I will stop that next week. I'm not going to explain the joke. You stop it now, OK? I'm done explaining it for the week. I'm done explaining this segment. Yes. To Gods.

[00:11:35]

I only want positive feedback.